One week later...
THE BOYS
Shikamaru woke up with a weight on his chest. Blinking his eyes open, he saw a blonde head under his chin. He gasped sharply. An image of a certain blonde woman popped into his mind.
Nervously, he put a hand on the head and patted it gently.
The head turned and a pair of blue eyes looked up at him. "G'morning," Naruto muttered, nuzzling into his chest.
Shikamaru felt like he was about to puke. He pushed Naruto off him and got up from the bed, trying his best to not to move too fast. His head was throbbing in pain.
On the other side of him, a huge snore erupted. Larger than life and heavier than a baby elephant, Choji laid next to him bundled in all the blankets. Shikamaru used both his hands and shoved him away. "You took all the blankets again, Choji."
To which Choji swung an arm back, knocking Shikamaru and Naruto off Naruto's double bed.
"Ow," they shouted in unison.
Shikamaru pushed himself off the floor and went to the bathroom while Naruto grabbed a pile of laundry to use as a pillow.
As childhood best friends, Naruto, Choji and Shikamaru had gone through everything together, from school fights to bar fights. It was normal for their boys night out to end with Shikamaru waking up cuddled in Naruto's arms while Choji hogged all the blankets. And from the way the contents of his stomach swirled, it must have been a doozy of a night.
Stepping into the bathroom, Shikamaru tried to recall what happened last night. Going in reverse, he remembered the rounds of barbecued meat and drinks they had after a game of basketball. Before that was the student council meeting and before that were all those lectures … he groaned remembering the amount of reading he had to do this week. And was there some kind of report he needed to write up over the weekend? Troublesome… Why was he in all these advanced classes again?
Oh yeah.
Besides the liquor, there was a lot of regret in him too. But he could feel the liquor was rushing to come out.
He got up from the bathroom floor, and wiped his mouth. Taking a look in the mirror, he figured he ought to assess the damage from last night. People often told him he was pretty like his mom but right now he probably looked worse than his dad. His skin was dry. His long hair was limp, in need of a trim. The grey under his eyes clearly visible, making him look like a raccoon and the bruise on his neck was a bright purple.
Wait - how did he get a bruise on his neck?!
He leaned over the sink to take a closer look. An oval mark on the front of his neck, near his collar bone. He rubbed it to see if it would come off. It didn't. Instead, it was a little tender to the touch.
His eyes narrowed. "Naruto!" He stormed out of the bathroom.
Naruto was lying on the ground, curled up like some blonde tabby cat. Shikamaru nudged him with his foot.
"It's too early, Shikamaru…" Naruto groaned, turning over to his other side. Shikamaru felt his eyes twitch in annoyance and he unceremoniously kicked Naruto a little harder.
"Ow ow! What's your problem, ya know?!" Naruto shouted back. He got up and looked at Shikamaru, "Dang you look like shit."
"What did you do?" Shikamaru nearly shouted, pointing to the mark on his neck.
Naruto squinted, "Hey, whoa- I'm an affectionate guy, but you're not really my type Shikamaru…"
The mountain of blankets that was Chouji let out of bellow of laughter, "Long dark hair, pretty eyes... he is totally your type, Naruto. If Shikamaru was shy, sweet and ten times richer, he'd be - ?"
Naruto threw a pillow, shouting, "Shut up Chouji!"
Tired of their childish antics, Shikamaru chided, "Seriously, what did you guys do? I'm going to see my mom today."
"Oh really?! Tell her I say hi!" Naruto said cheerfully, getting off the floor with a face as fresh as a daisy.
"I have a box of sweets for her from my last competition. The box is half empty but that's cause it was a long journey back," Chouji said, his eyes still closed.
Shikamaru felt his eye twitch again.
"Oh, his eye is starting to do that thing," Naruto said to Choji.
"Come back to bed, Shikamaru. You can be little spoon if you want," Choji said, pulling back the blankets to invite Shikamaru to bed.
He put a hand over his eye, hoping it would relax. He needed some water to cure his dehydration.
Naruto yawned, stretching his arms over his head and patted Shikamaru on the shoulder. "I'mma get in there before Choji ruins my plumbing again."
Annoyed at how they just dismissed him, Shikamaru went to get his clothes out of his gym bag. Rummaging through his dirty basketball gear, he put on yesterday's outfit that was still clean - a pair of jeans and shirt but couldn't find his wallet.
He grunted, trying to remember where it was. It wasn't in his nature to misplace things... but it was in his friends' nature to take his stuff. "Which one of you took my stuff?" He called out, noticing a room temperature ice pack and some candy in his bag. Where were these from?
"Wasn't me!" Naruto shouted through the bathroom doors.
Shikamaru turned to Chouji.
"I can't fit your baby clothes, man," Choji said plainly, deciding it was now time to get out of bed. The bed groaned as he moved.
"I'm missing my wallet," Shikamaru told Chouji.
"Yeah, you're missing your hoodie too," Chouji sniffed.
Shikamaru looked around Naruto's room. He was right. Where the heck was his hoodie?
"I swear if I find it under Naruto's dirty underwear..." Shikamaru grumbled.
"Maybe you should ask your girlfriend," Choji said sneakily.
Ooooh!" Naruto sang from behind the shut bathroom doors.
Shikamaru's heart jumped along with his stomach. Scowling, he asked, "What are you talking about?"
"I told you that your tiny body couldn't handle all that beer," Chouji told him, shaking his head. He was out of bed and now raiding Naruto's ramen stash, deciding if he should take two or just one instant ramen cup.
Naruto continued to shout through the bathroom, "That new class schedule you have must have really tired you out." The toilet flushed and Naruto walked out, noticing the dumbfounded look on Shikamaru's face.
"So you were wasted wasted, last night, huh?"
Shikamaru looked at both of them, feeling like he was trying to drive in the midst of a fog and all he had were two stupid headlights that didn't want to work.
Changing their expressions, the two other boys pulled their faces into a frown and furrowed their brows. Clearing his throat, Choji went first with his best Shikamaru imitation, "These hardass teachers give too much reading for the first week of term."
Naruto took his turn, "I should get a break for staying awake through the entire lecture."
"That troublesome woman had no problem though, making it look easy," Choji added.
"Can you believe she runs before the sun even rises? Everyday!" Naruto exclaimed, shaking his head. "She gets the reading done before the class too."
"And she's so mean to me," Chouji wailed, pretending to wipe away tears, his shoulders shaking from laughter. Their imitation was starting to sound less and less like Shikamaru, but they continued on.
"I pretend to hate it but it's really attractive," Naruto said.
"It's okay cause she's got the blondest hair and the prettiest green eyes," Chouji said before taking a big slurp from his ramen cup.
"I'm 100% certain I didn't say that," Shikamaru said.
"Yeah she doesn't remind me of my mom at all..." Naruto spoke.
Shikamaru covered his twitching eye, "Okay, I get it... please stop." But they didn't
Choji jokingly clasped his hands together. "I want to kiss her all day."
"Oh Shikamaru…" This time, Naruto made his voice higher.
"Oh troublesome mean lady. I want you to bully me harder," exclaimed Choji.
"Have my super smart genius babies, please bossy lady," Naruto cried out.
And the two boys pursed their lips at each other, making smooching noises at each other from across the room.
As the two boys burst out in laughter, Shikamaru just stood there, thinking that if he killed them both right now, his biggest worry would be how to hide Choji's body.
"So I'm guessing I talked about Temari last night..." he conceded.
"Oh yeah you wouldn't shut up about her. It's like you hated her. And then you got all mysterious and sexy when you saw her," Chouji told him.
"Saw her?" the idea of Temari seeing him when he was too drunk to even remember himself left Shikamaru felt a boulder of shame fall upon him. If he could dig a hole and bury himself, he would. Or maybe he'd just ask Choji to slap him. The last time Choji slapped him, they were kids and Shikamaru lost a tooth. Or maybe Naruto could kick him in the head. That might put him in a coma for a good year or two...
"Oh he's got that look on his face again - the one when he's contemplating death," Choji whispered to Naruto, drinking the soup of the ramen cup.
"I will kill both of you and then myself, I swear."
"Aw cheer up, Shikamaru. I'm sure she likes you back," Naruto told him, sniffing the shirt he was about to put on, then discarding it aside. "You're the genius of Konoha!" He started making his own ramen cup breakfast.
Choji slurped the last of his instant ramen cup. "You're handsome and rich too," Choji added, nodding his head in approval. "Remember when the news listed you as the top eligible bachelor?"
"That was the Konoha Campus gossip blog. And it was their Top 10 Single Hotties on Campus list..." Shikamaru groaned, taking a seat on the bed.
"So you do remember... geez, that's a little conceited, Shikamaru," Chouji scolded.
"Well, whatever a bunch of people read it, ya know!" Naruto chimed in. Chouji reached over to take Naruto's breakfast. Naruto voiced his protest, "Hey! No! Bad Choji" He was now climbing onto Choji to take it back but Chouji held him back with one arm.
Then there was a knock at the door.