If I Would've Known

… A Gunsmoke story

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Author's note: I would like to thank a couple of good friends, not sure they want to be mentioned by name so I'll just call them K and T, for helping me write this chapter. Your critiques and ideas have been absolutely invaluable to helping me get this chapter written out. Thank y'all so much, you know who you are!!

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Kitty had originally planned on staying in Dodge only for a week or so. For the most part, she was enjoying catching up with her friends despite the big elephant in the room but she finally decided that she would stop hiding away in the Dodge House and wouldn't let Matt ruin her mood. There was one big problem though, she had yet to complete the one task that had brought her back to Dodge in the first place – visit Doc. She hadn't yet mustered up the courage but would make a concerted effort to do so before she left, She just wasn't ready yet.

The next morning after her rendezvous with Matt behind the Long Branch, she put on her clothes and her paint and took extra care in getting ready. Hannah had mentioned to her before she went back to the Dodge House that she needed to speak with her soon and that it was pretty important. She eventually made her way back over to the Long Branch where she found Hannah standing at the bar drying off some of the glassware she had recently helped Sam wash before the mid morning crowd came in. "Good morning, Kitty," she greeted when she noticed Kitty walk inside. "Morning, Hannah. You needed to see me?"

"Let's go in the office," she smiled and Kitty followed her back into the office, the likes of which hadn't changed much since Kitty sold it to her. "Why don't you have a seat," Hannah pulled out a chair as she poured them both a drink. "You're going to need this by the time I'm done."

" Great," Kitty thought to herself. Instantly her mind went to it being something about Matt. To be quite honest, she was growing weary over this unresolved issue with Matt and wasn't sure exactly how much more she could take. She took the offered drink from Hannah and offered her a quiet "Thank you" in return as Hannah took a seat at the desk.

"Look Kitty," Hannah looked over at her. "I'm going to make this short and sweet and get to askin 'ya what I've got to ask. I'm not in the best of health, actually. Dr. Chapman says I'm very sick and he recommended that I travel to St. Louis for a spell to visit with a specialist. Something to do with my lungs, he says."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Hannah. Will you be okay?"

"In time, Dr. Chapman says, if I can get to the specialist soon." She paused before continuing, realizing this next part may be difficult for Kitty to hear. "Trouble is, I don't know how long I will be gone. I know Dodge isn't exactly your favorite place right now and I realize this might be too much to ask, but.." She looked down before looking back over at Kitty again. "I need someone to help me run this place while I'm gone and the truth is, well, I couldn't think of anyone who knows it better than you." Kitty was absolutely floored.

"Me?" Kitty asked. "I don't know, Hannah. I haven't exactly had good luck since I've come to town."

"I know it's a lot to ask, and under normal circumstances with everything going on right now, I'd never ask but, you know this place like the back of your hand and you're the savviest businesswoman that I know. I know you'd care for it like I'd want it to be cared for because you're the one that made it so successful," Hannah smiled. "I'd love to have you on here as my manager." Hannah did her best to plead her case. "Say you'll help me out and do this favor for me. I'll make your compensation well worth the trouble."

"I mean, I guess I could. But only temporarily," Kitty replied. "And as soon as you get back, I'm getting as far away from Dodge as I possibly can."

"Welcome back, Kitty," Hannah extended her hand to shake Kitty's to solidify their business plan.

" Whoo boy," Kitty thought to herself, " How ever will I explain this to Matt?" Wait, never mind – she thought under the same token. According to Matt, they never needed any explanations. She extended her hand and eagerly shook Hannah's. Kitty decided that it looked like she'd be staying in Dodge a might longer than she'd planned on. The two women drank their drinks and began the process of bringing Kitty up to speed on some of the day-to-day operations of the place.

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Matt was still just as confused as ever when he walked down the boardwalk towards the jailhouse when he noticed Festus going the other way. "Morning, Matthew." he greeted too cheerfully for 9 o'clock in the morning. Matt decided that he needed someone to talk to that wasn't a female. "Say Festus, why don't we go down to Delmonico's and have some breakfast. I'll buy." Festus lit up like a Christmas tree. "Why chure Matthew, that sounds like a might fine idea if I do say so myself." The two men then headed off for the restaurant.

When they took their usual table at the back of the restaurant and the waiter brought them their coffee, Festus looked over at Matt and noticed that something was amiss. "I ken see that somethin's a' troublin' you, Matthew. Whut's goin' on?" He couldn't exactly confide in him about how he took Kitty out back of the Long Branch and kissed her senseless. So he decided to offer her a watered down version. "I don't know what to do about Kitty. She's so cold to me anymore. Every time we bump into each other, she wants to take my head off." But then again, he never did understand why womenfolk acted the way they did. Festus took a gulp of his coffee and looked over at him. "Things have changed, Matthew. You've a' changed, too. It's a lot different than it used to be the last time she was here," he added. "But we were the best of friends once and now, it's like we don't know each other at all." Matt replied.

Festus could hear the hurt in his voice so he tried to offer some words of comfort. "Lookie here now Matthew, it's gunna take some time for her gettin' used to things, 'specially seeing you being all friendly with a differn't shemale, ya see?. It's not sumthin' she'll be able to get used to overnight, but Mizz Kitty'll be back ta normal before ya know it." Matt felt a twinge of guilt that he wasn't being completely honest with Festus, but he made up his mind that he just wasn't sure what Kitty's intentions were. They hardly talk and she hadn't exactly explained why she never replied to any of his efforts to keep in touch. They would have to get past the constant bickering some how, and he wasn't able to completely trust that it was even a possibility yet.

When he and Festus were done with breakfast, he plopped some money on the table and they went back down to the jailhouse to get some work done. Meanwhile, Kitty had decided that she would spend most of her time at the Long Branch during the day to minimize any chances of running into Matt and what she believed to be his new beau. She began the long process of moving her things from the Dodge House and back into her old room, the likes of which harbored their own sad memories. But the sadness didn't seem to last for long as she easily fell right back into the way things used to be.

Later on that evening, Festus and Matt walked into the Long Branch to have themselves a couple of beers when Matt noticed Kitty standing behind the bar. "Well, now there's a sight that I haven't seen in a long time," he remarked as he walked up to the bar to order a couple of beers for him and Festus. He pulled a coin to pay when Kitty waved her hand to stop him. "No, no, that won't be necessary. First drink is on the house."

"On the house, huh?" Matt asked quizzically while offering a small smile. "Does Hannah know you're back there giving her business away?" He added playfully.

Kitty returned the smile while handing him a couple of beers and decided that it was now or never that she break the news to him, "Well, I don't think she'd mind seeing as I'm in charge now." Matt gulped at the sound of that, not really sure what to make of it. " You're in charge?"

"Sure am," Kitty replied. "Hannah's got some business to tend to out of town so I'll be running the place for her while she's gone. Matt's situation that he finally felt like he was getting a grasp on just seemed like it shot into the stratosphere. "Well, that's just great Kitty," he replied. "I'm happy for you. I guess that means you'll be saying a while, huh?" He smiled. He would be lying if he said the thought of that didn't make him happy.

"I guess so," she returned the smile. "Here's those beers you asked for." And she passed him a couple of glasses. "Thanks, Kitty. I appreciate it," and Matt went back to sit down with Festus.

Later on when things started to slow down just a bit, Kitty walked over to the table with another round of beers for them but also one for her. "Mind if I join you two for a little bit?" Matt stood up and pulled out a seat for her on the other side of the table. "No, no, go ahead." Kitty walked around to where he was sitting. "No thanks, I'll sit in my usual spot," and she sat down in the chair beside Matt as she passed out their beers.

The three got completely wrapped up in their conversations and Matt, mostly out of habit, reached over and draped his arm across the back of Kitty's chair. He was a little surprised when Kitty scooted over a little closer so that he wouldn't have to stretch his arm so far.

Meanwhile, Caroline had finished up her work at the shop and decided that she was starving so she made her way down to the marshal's office to see if Matt wanted to have supper with her. Seeing the lamps unlit and the door locked, she began to wonder where she went off to. She saw a couple of townspeople standing just down the boardwalk so she approached them to see if they had any idea where he was. "Excuse me gentlemen," she greeted. Both of the men tipped there hats. One of them spoke up. "What can we do for you, miss?" "Well, I was just looking for Marshal Dillon and was wondering if either of you had happened to see him." The man nodded and replied, "If you're looking for the marshal, I just saw him go into the Long Branch not too long ago with the deputy. You might check there." "Much obliged." And she nodded to them as she set off towards the Long Branch. For the life of her, she couldn't imagine what he'd be doing in such a debaucherous place like a saloon. She'd never known him to visit one before. She stood outside of the batwing doors and decided that she was far too lady-like to go in, so she just barely opened one of the doors enough to be able to peak in and that's when she saw them all gathered in the back. She could feel the fumes rising inside of her as she became filled with anger and envy all wrapped in one. A cowpoke had brushed past her and fully opened the door. "Excuse me, miss." And Matt was able to see her standing there out on the boardwalk with a rather sour look on her face.

He let out a long drawn out sigh as he suddenly rose to his full height. "If you two will excuse me, I've got to get going. Festus, if you need me, I'll be at the jailhouse." Neither Festus nor Kitty had seen Caroline, so they just assumed that he had something marshal related to tend to. "I'll see you later, Kitty." And he tipped his hat to her as he walked out of the saloon only to find Caroline standing off to the side fuming. "Matt, what were you doing in there?!" she asked incredulously. He didn't want to have this conversation where anyone could be within earshot, certainly not Kitty. "Let's go talk in my office." And she turned around and started to walk towards the jail only getting more upset that he didn't take her arm and instead keeping a half pace behind her. Once they reached his office, he unlocked the door and let her inside, shutting the door and locking it behind him.

"I feel like I've gotten to know you well, Matthew Dillon, but I just never in a million years would figure you to be the kind of person to patronize a place like THAT!" she said with a raised voice as she placed her hands on her hips as if she were scolding a small child. "Keep your voice down," he warned. She was certainly in no kind of position to talk to him like that. He perched himself on the edge of his desk as she continued on with her tirade.

"Why, it just isn't very becoming of an United States Marshal to hang out with a.."

Matt interrupted her. "A what?" he said with an ominous tone in his voice, imploring her to choose her next words very carefully. She understood what he meant and decided to change tactics.

"Matt, we've been friends for a while now. I can see that you're unhappy in Dodge, and when men get unhappy then they tend to visit places like that."

"Places like what?" he asked, curious as to why she might think he was unhappy. She walked over to stand in front of him before taking both of his hands as she gazed into his eyes. "Saloons, Matt. Have you ever thought that maybe it's time for you to give up playing with guns and settle down," she batted her eyelashes at him, "with someone in a more respectable business." He took his hands back, not one bit appreciating what she was hinting at. "And just what's wrong with working in a saloon?"

She ignored his question and continued onward. "Look, Matt. I've had just about enough of waiting for you that I can stand." She paused for a moment before thinking about a way to get them both out of Dodge and away from Kitty. "You have a whole life out there to live, and I could live it with you. We could go out west and start us a homestead somewhere far away from here. You could raise horses and I could tend to a garden. Wouldn't that be nice, Matt? That way you wouldn't feel the need to visit such debaucherous places."

Matt folded his arms, not liking where this conversation was headed. He chose to ignore the backhanded dig at saloons for the time being. "I'm just not ready for all that. For now, my job is being a lawman, Caroline and I've still got one or two good years left in me. If what you said is what you need right now, I'm afraid you'll just have to do it with someone else."

A sour look crept across Caroline's face as she turned around, not wanting to face him. She decided that she would play her final card. She turned around and looked at him with contempt. "Matt, I'm serious. If you're not ready to stop being a hero to everybody and everyone and give up this whole lawman thing then.." she lowered her voice. "There's nothing left for us and I'll leave."

Matt just shook his head and rose to his feet. "Look, Caroline, you've been a really great friend but you're asking for something that I just can't give you right now," he sighed before continuing, "And I'll be honest. When Kitty showed back up, a lot of old feelings came back up that I just can't shake away."

"So that's it, huh?" she replied sarcastically. "Instead of being with an upstanding lady like me, you'd rather be with some saloon whore."

Matt's anger shot straight through the roof. He walked over to the door, unlocked it and opened it before turning back to her with resentment in his eyes. "Get out." She looked at him shocked, not sure she was hearing him correctly. "What did you say?"

"I said get out. Kitty is one of the most respected people in this town. She is nothing but kind and doesn't deserve anyone to talk down on her like that," he said after a slight pause. "Not to mention, she's my best friend."

"Now Matt, you can't possibly be serious," she looked at him. "All this over a saloon slut?"

"Get. Out. NOW." Matt warned, his voice dropping to a dead serious tone.

She took the hint and stepped out unto the boardwalk and turned around and let out a petulant whine. "Matt..."

"That's Marshal Dillon to you," and with that, Matt made sure she was far enough away before he slammed the door in her face.

He suddenly felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He knew that he had to have a long talk with Kitty soon and settle their differences if there was any hope of making things right between the two of them.

TBC