Chapter 12 - Ivy Landry

"I'm sorry, I thought what I said would make him come around," Lizzie said to Janine. She was six almost seven months pregnant with Allyssa. Janine started crying.

"He said you thought I was evil for considering it," she said. Lizzie shook her head.

"No, I would have never... I told him to make an appointment, I told him to put you first," her voice cracked, her heart broke for her. It was too late. Even Janine thought it was too late.

"He threatened to send me back to Dennis," Janine whispered and her her eyes welled. Goosebumps broke out across Lizzie's body, had her cousin been there it would have been everything in her power to not rip his limbs off. She shook her head with deeply rooted feral rage.

"That's what he does, isn't it? He's no better! Gets what he wants with fear and manipulation, he doesn't deserve your child!" She yelled. Janine didn't realize how angry this would make Lizzie. Something snapped in her. Janine placed her hands on top Lizzie's shaking ones and pressed them into the table.

"Azalea, I'm fine. I'll be fine. I didn't want to do this, I deeply resent him for this, but I'm alright. Don't... please don't..." Lizzie could see fear rising in her increasingly small face.

"Kill him? I'm not going to kill him, Jen. Spit, kick, and beat his face in, maybe," she could spit fire. "Are you safe? Does he hurt you?"

Janine shook her head. "Not like Dennis," she said quietly.

"God damn it, Jenny! Dennis isn't the bar, DOES DUDLEY HURT YOU? Not does he hurt you in comparison to Dennis. Not is he as bad as his father? Does he hurt YOU?!" Lizzie was yelling and her daughter started crying. This seemed to snap her somewhat out of the rage she had hit. Janine was crying.

"No, Lizzie, he doesn't. He's just... still so..."

"Catholic?" Lizzie interjected. Janine closed her eyes and nodded. "He's still a patriarch. He's still a my way or nothing..." she continued to nod at Lizzie's words. Lizzie looked over at Ivy in the other room playing with her dolls.

"He's never hurt her, Lizzie, I promise," Janine said. "If he does, I would tell you," she said.

"But the damage would already be done then wouldn't it?" Lizzie responded. She read Janine, something stood out and she could read her mind very clearly.

Lizzie clutched hee daughter close to her chest but her face went dead in contemplation. "I want that too... all we wanted was freedom, and we made shackles instead," she whispered. Janine wiped her face with her sleeve and looked at the clock.

"Oh fuck, can you... can you watch Ivy, I'm so sorry! I won't be long. I just have to go to take an exam. Usually I take Ivy, but it would be so much easier if..." Janine pled.

"No, go, of course I'll watch her..." Lizzie said without hesitation.

"Lizzie! Where are we going?" Ivy asked. Lizzie didn't look at her as they walked quickly down the busy street. They stopped after what felt like an eternity to the little girl. They were at the gate of a large building. 'Wool Orphange" was still in iron letters above the gate, but "Kellison International" was on the plaque by the intercom. Lizzie noticed that Christopher, whom her and Charlie had met almost two years prior while trespassing at the place, had finished the remodel. She pressed the button and a woman's voice asked for her name and business.

"Um, hi. I'm... I need help. I have two children with me," she said. Her mouth was going dry.

Someone came to the gate to let her in and took her up to the main office. It was nicely remodeled. There were signs indicating wards for mothers and children, children, and then just young women.

She was shown into the office and Christopher Lupton looked up from some papers he was reading. He seemed to vaguely recognize her but didn't say so, or couldn't place it.

"Hi, um..." all Lizzie could hear was her heart hammering. 'What are you doing?' She thought to herself.

"I don't have much time before my husband gets home, I need a safe place for my girls," she managed to get out. He looked at Ivy and then the baby sadly.

"We don't have any vacancies right now. Are you...Cyprian?" He asked. She nodded. "I'm Janine Landry, I'm running from my husband, but I'll come back for the girls, I just need to..." he frowned.

"You can stay here with them if we can figure out how to rearrange rooms... if you're being abused, I'm required to call in a police report," he said.

Lizzie felt hot and panicked. This couldn't be right. Not here, 'what am I doing?' She thought. Her mind was screaming at her to leave. The woman reached for her daughter but she instinctively pulled her away. Ivy wasn't saying anything she just looked shocked and scared.

"Um... OK. This wasn't what I thought it was, that's alright, I'm going to go. We have some family I can stay with," she backpeddled urgently. He looked confused and watched her leave. She set something down on the table near the door. He picked up a rosary and looked at it curiously.

The woman came up behind him. "Should we make sure she's alright?" She asked.

"That's not Janine Landry..." he said. "I think that's her..." he whispered and turned the Rosary over on his hand.

"Who?" The woman asked.

"It doesn't matter..." he said quietly and put the rosary over his neck. He leaned against the doorframe of the orphanage and watched her walk away until she turned a corner.

"GET OUT, LIZZIE!" He heard Nadine yell at the little girl in the backseat of his car. He slammed his car door shut after running up and down the shore screaming for the girl he loved who had just vanished. In the rear view mirror he saw the same girl in the backseat that Nadine had forced out of their car when they ran away from Little Whinging. Except her eyes were dead. This was her. He could sense it, it was her who just came in with two children in tow. It was her who trespassed on the property. He had no proof, only a suddenly odd and haunting sense of intuition.

"Ivy, honey, if Dudley ever puts a hand on you, will you promise to tell me?" She asked. They were back home. Ivy looked confused but nodded.

"I don't mean a hug, sweetie, like if he ever hits you, grabs you, puts his hands..." she pointed to certain place. "Will you please tell me?" Lizzie asked. Ivy nodded. "Ok, baby, thank you," she said and kissed her head. "I'm really sorry about that, Aunt Lizzie went kind of... crazy... sometimes that happens. I don't have an explanation. But I'm here, I'm here for you, alright? I don't want..." she started breathing heavily and fought a wave of grief. "I don't want anyone to hurt you, sweetie," she said with a cracked voice.

Ivy hugged her and pet her head. "It's ok, Lizzie," she said, and kissed her head too. "Can I hold the baby," she whispered. Lizzie laughed through some tears and patted the couch for her to sit before handing her Annie carefully. Ivy smiled up at her. "Mommy is having another baby," she said.

"Yeah, are you excited?" Lizzie asked.

"No... Mommy is super scared and keeps telling me if something happens to her that she loves me. Is she going to die?" Lizzie froze inside but stroked her hair reassuringly. She shook her head.

"No, no. She's going to be alright, baby, she'll be fine," she said.

The door opened and Dudley came in, undoing hid tie and setting down his work bag by the door. Lizzie followed him with her eyes as he walked down the hall, he caught a glimpse of her in the sitting room and stopped, backed up a couple of steps, then smiled.

"Hi!" He said, looking down at the baby and then up at his cousin with some genuine joy. "Lizzie, she's beautiful," he said.

"Her name is Annie!" Ivy yelled.

"Rhiannon, like the..." Lizzie started to say.

"Stevie Nicks song..." he said and chuckled. "Oh, Liz, congratulations. Did Jenny go to class and leave you here with Ivy, I'm sorry!" He said.

"You should be sorry, but not for that," Lizzie said darkly. He frowned and cocked his head for Ivy to leave the room. Lizzie took her daughter back from Ivy who ran off to play with her dolls upstairs.

"Did you really sink that low, you bloody fucking asshole," she growled. He raised his eyebrows.

"Don't talk to me that way in my house," he shot back.

"You threatened to send her back to DENNIS?!" Lizzie hissed. "Ivy too? How absolutely fucking detestable do you have to be?!" She added. He clenched his jaw.

"I would have never done that!" He said defensively. "She wanted to..."

"Abort," Lizzie said.

"Kill my baby!" He shouted.

"End her pregnancy that she is still NOT happy about! Mind you she wanted to do so when it was the size of a fucking lentil!"

"So what about the size?! That's my child!" He shouted.

"Hers too!" Lizzie shouted back. He grabbed fists of his hair in frustration.

"What about you, did you go back to him?!" He asked. Lizzie looked down and didn't say anything.

"He doesn't even know does he?" Dudley laughed. "You think we're pathological. You girls, while I sympathize with what they put you through, really Liz, I mean that... you will do ANYTHING to stick it to us even if we don't deserve it."

"Don't put this on us!" Lizzie growled. "YOU threatened HER!"

"As a last resort! Yes! But she's not going to regret it when she holds her baby. She didn't want to have Ivy, and she loves her more than anything!"

"Sometimes we don't want to love anyone that much! Sometimes we just want to be free, and be allowed to give a damn about ourselves!"

"That's selfish!" He hissed back.

"No! It's not, it's natural when you've been in cage all your life to want to fly on your own... it's SELFISH to lock someone in a cage to begin with," she retorted. This silenced him.

"The 'cage' is to protect you..." he said finally. Lizzie laughed.

"From what? From who? I was hurt the most locked in one and so was Jenny. You put her in another and called it a mercy. I feel so sorry for you that had the willpower to refrain from violence, but never overcame the stupidity of your fucked up dogma and faith."

"When did you stop believing in God?" He asked reproachfully.

"The first time your father bent me over the arm of the sofa in the middle of the night and raped me..." she said quietly. "It didn't stop until I was sixteen," she added. He through up his hand and clenched a fist. His eyes were swelling and welling. He shook his head and retreated to the kitchen to splash his face with cold water. Lizzie watched him from the doorway.

"I found my mum," he said. His voice was breaking. I sat on the floor and held her body, there was a note that said 'Lizzie I'm sorry,'" he choked on a sob.

"Suicide is never a shock in a Cyprian household, is it?" Lizzie asked. He shook his head. "That's why I don't believe in God."

"That makes me feel so sorry for you," he said.

"There are a lot of reasons you could feel sorry for me, not having faith isn't one of them..."

"Did your daughter's father, hurt you?" He asked. Lizzie didn't know how to answer, because she didn't know who the father ultimately was. Charlie, she'd only been with Charlie, but it wasn't just him that night. "He deserves to meet her, Lizzie, please go back, something tells me you and him are nothing like Janine and Dennis."

Dudley leaned in as he left the kitchen for a hug and kissed her cheek. "It was good to see you, I'm glad you're alright. Your daughter is beautiful." He wiped his nose with the back of sleeve and went upstairs to check on Ivy.

"Hey sweetie, how was seeing aunt Lizzie?" He asked. She was playing with some dolls.

"What's an orphanage?" She asked. He was confused and sat down on the floor with her to grab a doll.

"It's where people take children who don't have parents," he said. "Why?"

"I have parents... why would Lizzie take me there?" She asked. He frowned, even more confused.

"When, today?" He asked. She nodded. "She took me and the baby but then we left." Dudley got up upbruptly. Suddenly his bones ached and he felt cold. He quickly ran down the stairs.

"Liz!?" He yelled. She was gone. He rubbed his face anxiously.

"Did she leave?" Ivy asked at the top of the stairs clutching her doll. He nodded.

"Don't um... don't tell mommy about that honey," he told her.

"She said to tell her if you ever hurt me," she said. He looked pale and nauseous and leaned into the stair railing feeling defeated.

"You need to tell someone if anyone hurts you, baby girl, including me... if I hurt you. But... don't... don't tell Lizzie," he said. She didn't think much of it and went back to her room. He sat down on the bottom stairs and lost his battle with dread and the army of tears that so often accompanied it.

"Please God, don't let her take my family," he whispered to himself.

Ivy only had three memories of her father. As she got older and noticed how Janine would never talk about him, she assumed her mother either thought she had no memories or didn't have the ability to talk about it with her without it triggering her own demons.

They surfaced often in nightmares. She grew to have a severe distrust of men. As she reached her teen years she felt absolutely no attraction to any of them. She went to an all girls Catholic school, not a Cyprian one, a traditional one, so did her sister. They didn't hit anybody there, her mother sat on the parent board. There were also very few nuns and you never saw the Chaplain.

The first memory she had of her father was one that never ceased to give her chills. She was likely not even three yet, but crying hysterically over something she couldn't remember. Her mother was knelt next to the bed she was sitting on begging her profusely to stop crying. She was crying too, sobbing as she begged her to stop, but this only made Ivy more distressed. Her mother held her breath suddenly and put a hand over Ivy's face as she heard the front door open downstairs.

"Please stop crying, please, baby, please," she breathed. Ivy shook her head and the sobbing ensued. The door to the bedroom opened and her father walked in. He didn't have a face in any of her memories, just an impossibly tall, shadow of a man to her. He groaned and shut the door harshly behind him before taking off his shoes, tie, and undoing the top buttons of his shirt.

"I have told you to do something about the crying, Janine," he growled. She got up and lifted Ivy onto her her hip, bouncing and shushing her desperately.

"I saw you haven't started dinner," he snapped reproachfully.

"I'm sorry," she whispered meekly. "Ivy is getting her molars I think, she won't stop crying."

"Don't blame your child, it's your bloody job to tend to her," he hissed back. He took her from her mother and Ivy screamed.

"Wait, no, no, no, I'll make her stop, I'll..." she begged and he slapped Janine hard with the back of his hand.

He set Ivy down and Janine reached for her protectively. Dennis grabbed each of her arms in a tight uncompromising grip and walked her to the bed. "Wait, no, I'll - I'm sorry," she panted in a panic. Ivy closed her eyes but could still hear the crack of the belt at each strike, and her mother shrieking into the blankets her face was pressed into.

Her other memory was at her grandparents home for holiday, her mother's parents. She had a bad thumb sucking problem that her father pricked her thumb with a pin over if he caught her. She hid in the tub behind the curtain so nobody would see. Janine came into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet, fumbling to open a pregnancy test and pacing around the bathroom while she waited for results. Ivy heard her mother exhale a "no," and stuff the test in her blouse.

Someone knocked on the door and Janine opened it, looking flustered. "Janine, are you alright, you've been here for awhile, we can't find Ivy," her father said.

"Yeah, daddy, I'm fine. I uh... did she go upstairs? She likes my old bedroom."

"You... don't look fine," her father said. Janine was silent for a long moment and started to breathe heavily.

"Dad, I can't go home with him... daddy, please let me come home, I need to get Ivy and myself out," she said quietly.

"You want to leave your husband?" He asked coldly. The air seemed to change.

"I don't - want - to... daddy I need to..." she said desperately.

"What example does that set for your daughter?" He asked. Janine was breathing harder. "Answer me, Janine, what example does that set? That you run? That it's OK to dishonor your husband? To disrespect your family?" He asked, his voice was angry.

Dennis came up behind him and tapped his shoulder, "I think I need a conversation with my wife, Patrick, thanks," he said grimly. Janine's father left silently and Dennis closed the door. There was a slap and then fumbling that was intentionally kept quiet. She heard his pants come undone and from what she could see from behind the curtain he had a hand wrapped around her mothers mouth and started thrusting her with his hips into the counter of the sink while she cried silently into his hand. He threw a wash cloth at her and told her to get herself together.

Janine pulled back the curtain to shower off the shame and Ivy startled. Her mother looked shocked, terrified, and sunk to her knees like her legs gave out from under her. "Baby..." she breathed and scooped her up to hold her close to her body while she cried.

"Mumma," was all she could muster, she'd never seen her mother look so utterly defeated.

The last memory wasn't of her father but it was the only time after they escaped that she heard her mother talk about him in front of her. Ivy was sitting on the bed in a doctor's office while a man in a white coat examined her. "She's vitamin deficient and that might be an absortion problem," he said, looking at her chart. Her mother was there and so was Dudley. Janine was very pregnant with her sister. "Was she breast or bottle fed?" He asked.

Janine cleared her throat, "breast," she said in a cracked voice. He nodded.

"Exclusively?" He asked. Janine nodded.

"Yes, but... it was never enough. My ex husband, he refused to let me use formula," she explained. Dudley looked over at her astounded. The doctor looked concerned.

"She went hungry?" He asked. Janine's eyes watered.

"I'm sorry! I... didn't have money, he had the money, I was - I couldn't just go buy - I tried. I mean, hours and hours, I'd pump all day. I'd let her feed as long as she needed to, but she - I - it wasn't enough. I don't know what was wrong with me. I wasn't trying to starve her or anything. I pled with him, but the doctor just kept prescribing supplements and they didn't work. I couldn't do anything. My breasts would bleed from how much I tried, my hands... I couldn't move my hands sometimes because of using the thing to hand pump for too long. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't... he just didn't let me. He blamed me, and thought I could just..." panic was rising like a dog backed into a corner. She was starting to get angry, but swallowed it and blamed herself. The doctor set down his clipboard and put up his hands for her to stop. Dudley wrapped an arm around her and whispered in her ear it was fine and she wasn't being accused of anything.

"It's not your fault, it happens all the time. Sometimes high stress levels, lack of oxytocin (happy hormones), slew of things... I'm very sorry he couldn't see past that and didn't have the sense to do what was best for you and your daughter."

Her mother looked like she was ready to faint. Just talking about Dennis would make her mind shut off. Dudley took over talking to the doctor about how to up Ivy's vitamin levels. He also asked him for a lactation consultant for the next time, gesturing to Janine who was expecting within weeks.

"No!" She snapped reproachfully. "I'm not breastfeeding for a bloody minute this time," she growled like the timid dog from a moment ago had just bit his hand off. Dudley looked shocked.

"Well, of course we don't need to exclusively breastfeed, Jen, but... it would be good to do whatever you... can..." he said cautiously.

"No, I'm not doing that this time. Save the time on a consultant. It's not happening. If I have milk to express because there's nowhere else for it to go, we can use it, but I'm never breastfeeding again," she said angrily. She was visibly shaking with rage and Dudley was silenced.

"We'll talk about it later," he said diplomatically.

"There's nothing to God damn talk about," she snapped. He clenched his jaw and smiled weakly at the doctor. Ivy changed out of the hospital gown with her mothers help and they left.

In the car, Dudley cleared his throat to break an awkward silence. "I just think - I mean if we could for a month, just a month, it's so good for their immune system... or they have way better pumps, I'll buy one that hurts minimally and you don't have to operate manually... we can still bottle feed, but with breastmilk. Even if we just did one bottle a day, I mean we could -"

She glared at him. "What about no didn't you fucking understand?" She hissed. "You're just going to milk whatever you can out of me - literally - I didn't want to do this in the first place. Formula is perfectly fine. I'm taking this one bloody day at a time, I'm worried I'll bleed to death again, and you're over here rambling on about breastfeeding. Get over it. I might not even be ALIVE to breast feed, what are you going to do? Milk a corpse?" She continued angrily.

"Calm down and don't talk like that in front of Ivy," he said. Janine laughed.

"My daughter should know how much it fucking sucks to be a woman... hear that Ivy? Impossible expectations, we bear life, hallelujah, except we're treated like cattle in the process by MEN. MEN who will NEVER know what its like to bleed, to grow a human, to push out a human, to bleed more, to watch their nipples bleed, to be told they're not doing enough, they're still not good enough. To be accused of starving their children and not trying hard enough. To be blamed for hospital expenses because of a birth that was beyond my control. To just be a bag of flesh for them to satisfy themselves, cook them dinner, clean up their mess, raise their children..." she ranted feverishly in a climbing rage.

"I'm not asking you to let me starve my baby, Dudley! I'm just saying I won't feed them with my breasts! You want to pull a Dennis? You want to lock me in the bathroom for hours until I pump enough milk while I listen to my baby crying on the otherside of the door?! What do you want from me? For fucks sake!" She screamed the last part and he put up his hand.

"I'm sorry," Dudley said. He shook his head. "I'll drop it, I'm sorry."

Ivy put away her apron when she saw Sarah walk into the coffee shop. "Mum! I'm heading out!" She yelled at the door to the back kitchen area. Sarah smiled at her.

"Can you just close out the register really quick?" Janine yelled back. Ivy rolled her eyes in annoyance but started to count and close. Sarah leaned into the counter looking playful.

"What's up with you?" Ivy asked.

"How about we don't study for exams?" She asked.

"Travis Longmore having another party tonight?" Ivy asked. Sarah laughed.

"No... I'd never go to another one of his flesh sword competitions," Sarah said. Ivy choked on a laugh as she locked the money in a box to put in a safe in the back.

"I have my uncle's car," Sarah said quietly. Ivy raised her eyebrows.

"I also found some more information... on... you know..." she said evasively. Ivy was intrigued and grabbed her coat to leave.

"Bye mum, I'm staying over at Sarah's!" She yelled and followed Sarah out of the shop before locking the door behind her. They got to the car and Ivy whistled at the model, a pretty red BMW coup. They got in and closed the doors before Sarah pulled out and unfolded papers to hand to Ivy.

"I couldn't find your dad, but I did find his brother..." Sarah said. "His wife is institutionalized. He got the authorities to charge her with false claims against him for raping her when she tried to report him. He then accused her of inducing a miscarriage and burning the remains. There was no proof, but in exchange for everything dropped, they institutionalized her. The really fucked up part is conjugal visits are still allowed..." Sarah explained.

Ivy was reading through the records and shook her head in disbelief. "Conjugal?" She asked.

"He can show up and have sex with her still," she said.

"What is it, a catholic institution?" Ivy asked bitterly, outraged by the implication. The air was different in the car and there was something different in Sarah's eyes. Foreboding and sinister. For a near sixteen-year-old, she seemed to have decades of resentment brewing behind the skin of her pretty face. Sarah was gorgeous but didn't dress the least bit feminine, except for the skirts they had to wear for school. Sarah often made fun of Ivy for nearly always wearing a dress or skirt even outside of school.

"Don't tell me your recovering Cyprian step dad makes you wear skirts?" She asked once. Ivy laughed and shook her head.

"I mean he doesn't require it," she said. He would make subtle comments about pants if worn. He got on her mother's case once when she bought them more pairs of pants than skirts or dresses. He also voted to keep the skirt mandate at the school.

Ivy knew Sarah's history. Her vendetta against Cyprian Counsel was fierce. Sarah started playing with beads around her neck deep in contemplation. Ivy frowned at them.

"Why on earth do you of all people have a rosary, Sarah?" She asked.

"Someone gave it to me. Spent years at an orphanage while my grandmother got custody of us. She didn't want my other grandparents to have a claim, so we were hidden there," she said. Ivy had a vague recollection of an orphanage but it was so long ago. Lizzie came to mind but she couldn't place the memory and shook it off.

"Let's go pay Roland Landry a visit, shall we?" She asked wickedly. Ivy looked confused and apprehensive.

"What?" She asked. Sarah started the car and started driving, leaving the city for the suburbs. She parked on the street and turned off the lights. 3490, right? She asked, leaning over to look at the paper Ivy was still holding in a tight grip.

"Cut the crap, Sarah, what are we doing?" Ivy asked. Her heart was racing. Sarah tied up her hair in a bun and put a black hooded jumper on. "Are you crazy?!" Ivy hissed.

Sarah slipped out and cat walked up to the side gate of the house. Ivy froze for a moment but decided to follow to talk her out of whatever she was planning on doing.

"Is vandalizing his house worth getting in trouble for?" Ivy whispered.

"Vandalize? What good would that do..." Sarah whispered back.

"What are you doing then?" Ivy growled back. Sarah successfully picked the lock on the gate and the back door of the house. It was late. The house was dark. Sarah looked around quietly for some mail to confirm the house was correct. There was a letter addressed to Roland on the counter and she smiled wickedly.

She looked around the kitchen and saw a carbon monoxide detector that she pulled off the wall. Ivy was still confused but Sarah was coming across as particularly sinister and unapproachable. Sarah turned the knobs on the stove to start the gas on all the burners. "That should do it," she said under her breath and grabbed Ivy's hand to leave the house and sneak back to the car.

"What the fuck, Sarah! We can't do this!" Ivy hissed at her quietly while they waited for passing cars to go by before emerging from the gate. She started to head back to turn off the stove.

"So he can go to hell in his sleep and stop raping his wife in an institution whenever he wants to? World is better off without this flock of evil men in it..." she said. Ivy's heart was pounding so hard she could feel it in her tongue and nostrils.

"Have you done this before?" Ivy asked under her breath. Sarah didn't say anything but her face went dark. Ivy was conflicted, she was having a hard time breathing suddenly. Sarah grabbed her hand and pushed her into the car before driving off. Ivy's heart still pounded violently in her ears.

News broke about Roland Landry but her parents were very silent about it. When details emerged about his wife's situation, Janine asked Dudley to try to do something to get her released but he shot it down. Said it was way too risky to expose themselves in the process.

Ivy stopped being able to eat. She gazed out of windows thinking the police would come take her away any moment. After school one afternoon, when everyone had left, she pulled on her Oxford jumper and started working on homework in the peace and quiet.

"Boo!" Sarah said behind her and it made her jump out of her skin. "Relax, love," Sarah said dismissively.

"How are you... ok?" Ivy asked cautiously. Sarah smiled weakly.

"I'm never ok, Ivy..." she said with a facetious undertone and a smirk. She pulled on Ivy's arm until she stood up and pulled her to the corner of the classroom enticingly.

"Not here," Ivy whispered.

"You're no fun," Sarah said and buried her lips in Ivy's neck and collar bone. Her hands went to her hips and then up under her skirt where she pushed fingers down into Ivy's groin and worked a special kind of magic. Ivy locked lips with hers and it was an intensely passionate exchange that was rudely disrupted by one of law teachers who walked in several minutes later. Ivy felt shaken to the core just at the thought of Dudley finding out. Her mother didn't answer at the coffee shop when the school called, so it was Dudley who picked her up and took her home.

They were silent on the drive. The teacher explained in detail exactly what she saw and he didn't mask his disgust or disappointment. When they entered the house she grabbed the stair railing to go to her room but he clutched the back of her jumper and tugged her back down the stairs assertively, not overly aggressively. "No, kitchen, now," he ordered.

She took several steps back from him but didn't want to look him in the face. "What could have compelled you to do that?"

"The devil, obviously," Ivy said bitterly.

"Don't make this worse for yourself," he warned in response. "How long has this been going on, you've been friends with her for a while."

"...a while," she said reluctantly. He ran hands through hid hair in frustration and shook his head in disbelief.

"This is how I find out you've strayed from your path," he said bitterly. "I didn't raise a child to be this way."

"What path? Oxford? Why the hell wouldn't I get in, do they not except lesbians?"

"Watch your mouth!" He snapped. "You are not a lesbian, Ivy!" She laughed nervously. "You're fifteen, what do you know about what and who you like?"

"Fifteen, same age as mum when she MARRIED. That what you do? Before they know who they like bind them to a MAN forever?" She asked angrily.

"I'm not THEM!" He roared.

"If it looks like a duck, if it talks like a duck," she started to mock and he slapped her. He'd never slapped her. Her breath caught in her chest and the room went extremely still.

"I have to think about how to handle this. No daughter of mine..." he said.

"I'm not your daughter," she said with a shaking voice.

"Bend over, Ivy," he retorted. She shook her head as he reached for his belt clasp and wrapped it around his hand. "Now, or it only gets worse," He warned. She shook her head.

"No! Don't you fucking dare," she hissed. She'd never seen him angrier than that moment.

He bent her under his arm and she fought him. It was a struggle but she broke free and ran several steps backwards. "No!" She screamed. Tears ran down her face.

"I need to make sure you understand..." he started to yell.

"What? Understand what? Unless you tell me not to tell my mum this will end you! Or aren't you thinking? I have so few memories of my father they consist of watching her get whipped with a belt because I wouldn't stop crying, and watching her get raped over a bathroom sink!" Ivy screamed. Dudley's face dropped. "Why would I like men? How? I can't even fathom it."

"So you were engaged in sex with a girl, because you don't like men?" He asked.

"No! Because I liked HER. But there's no amount of money I could be paid to ever sleep with a man, much less bear children, and suckle, be a mom to a grown man who acts like a narcissistic infant, and make sure they're sexually gratified."

"You sound like a bloody misandrist. Why would a life like this be a turn off to you?" He asked reproachfully.

She gaped. "You might as well have kidnapped mum, she didn't have a choice to be with you!"

"Of course, she did, I never made her come or stay!" He yelled back, horribly offended at the sentiment.

"No, she didn't! She begged her dad to let her leave my dad. He said no. She had nowhere to go. You were her only choice, and you took advantage of that!"

"I protected you both, I got you away from that monster!"

"So, because this is better it's what I should want out of life? You trapped mum. She didn't want me but had to, and that already sucks enough, but she didn't want Ally, and you made her, so you could have a family, so you could keep us like life-sized dolls molded to your still bigoted standards and expectations."

"I never hurt you..." he said desperately.

"You didn't hit us. I think that's what kept her with you. But she'd rather be with nobody, including us. It sucks to have a mum who resents you, how does it feel when your wife does?" She asked bitterly. "Oh, that's right... she's not your wife, she's still Dennis's."

"Go to your room!" He yelled. When she slammed the door upstairs, he tossed the belt across the kitchen and threw a fist into the wall.

It had been six months since Sarah was sent away, almost seven since Roland Landry died. Allyssa was leaving for Hogwarts and Ivy's test scores and grades slipped at the end of last term making her worried about applications to university. Before Sarah left, she gave her reassurance that if they were ever caught, she would say she acted alone. She even gifted her the rosary.

The last six months had been a blur. There was so much she didn't remember, most mornings she woke up confused, angry, and disturbed. When Allyssa got her Hogwarts letter, she felt a pang of jealousy because a new life and whole world is what she longed for most.

"I'm sorry, Ivy. I'll write you all time," Allyssa said. "You'll be going off to Oxford soon anyway, so you won't even miss me," she said.

"I'll miss you Ally, don't be dumb," Ivy said quietly. "Here take some of these, they don't fit me anymore," she added as she pulled clothes Ally often borrowed out of her wardrobe and tossed them onto the bed for her to take. "Take this too," she said tossing the rosary on the top of the pile and swallowing resentment for Sarah at the thought. She stared at it for a long moment.

"Why this?" Ally asked. Ivy seemed lost in a memory. She didn't to say it was from Sarah, but something told her it wasn't.

"Dad... your dad... gave that to me. You should have that. If he's mad, I'm gay, I'm sure he isn't particularly thrilled you're a witch..."

"He would never disown either of us, Ivy," Ally said.

"No, how could he, he'd have nothing," she responded bitterly.

"Dad wrote to Lizzie about the letter, she's supposed to come over sometime soon," Ally said. Ivy smiled weakly.

Ivy heard a knock on the backdoor of the coffee shop a couple of weeks later when Ally was off shopping with Lizzie and her kids. She opened it, assuming it was a delivery, but didn't see anyone. She stepped into the back alley to look up and down for anyone who may have knocked. When she turned around, she saw a familiar face from what now felt like a lifetime ago, that took the air out of her lungs.