I start coming around from hearing the sounds of crying. My body felt like a thousand-pound brick was pinning me down as my breathing came shallow and painful. I could feel my heartbeat was slow as if it was struggling to pick up speed. Did... Haku put me in a state of death? He did it with Zabuza, right? As the effects continue to lessen, I manage to twitch a finger before my hand finally curls. Reaching up I touch the head that was laying on my chest. The sound of her tears echoes around me. "Sakura… You're heavy." I manage to utter out quietly.
Slowly opening my eyes, I look up just as she moves off of me. Her green eyes are alight in shock. "Tala?" She questions as I try to set up. "Careful, don't push yourself." Sakura informs me gently filling me with confusion as she helps me sit up. Raising my hand, I rub my throbbing head. I knew Haku never wanted to kill us, to begin with. Before that final blow, he had avoided hitting anything vital. I had suffered from scrapes and bruises but nothing real major.
Moving my hand from my head to my neck I touch the deep puncture wounds. It's... exactly like Zabuza. I blink a few times to clear my mind as I look at Sakura seeing her drying her eyes. "That's great! I'm so glad!" Tazuna blubbers from somewhere behind Sakura. "Naruto? And Sasuke?" I manage to ask as she continues to try and dry her tears from them having changed from pain to relief.
Had she... really been crying over me? She then gives me a smile. "Sasuke and Naruto are fine." She speaks up once she regained control of herself in answer to my questions. She then looks toward her left as she folds her hands in her lap. "I'm not sure what happened. I came in late, but that boy sacrificed himself for Zabuza." Huh? I give a sound of question as I move my gaze to follow hers.
I watch as Kakashi Sensei carries a large body before laying it down next to the form of Haku. Naruto and Sasuke are standing side by side as Naruto rubs his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. People were standing around on the bridge watching what was going on quietly. I try to move so I could stand up, but my body refused to listen properly. "H. here. let me help." Sakura speaks again as I feel her grab onto me and help me to my feet. Yet as she went to let go, I found myself nearly falling back to the ground. This... was not a good idea. I think just as Sakura catches me and helps me to sit back down.
"It may take time for you to fully recover." She giggles lightly before standing again. Waving her arm above her head back and forth happily. "Hey! Hey! Naruto! Sasuke!" She yells loudly drawing their attention over towards her. Their eyes visibly widening. "It's Tala! She's alright!" She shouts again and I raise my arm in my own half-wave.
As she smiles, she moves behind me and I could hear her shifting around as she kneels. "Here, let's get these needles out." Sakura speaks gently again just before I feel one needle after another painfully being pulled from my body. A part of me wondered if she was enjoying causing me pain. "Please, just a bit more gently Sakura." I practically whimper to her. I know there was no way I would be able to reach all of them myself. So all I could really do is count how many needles she pulls from me. Every now and then flinching when she pulls one that had embedded itself more deeply than others. "Sorry." She breathed out, to begin with, but by the third time of me flinching she didn't utter a single word.
Sakura helped Sasuke carry me back to Tazuna's as Kakashi and Naruto stayed behind to take care of Zabuza and Haku. Once they got me to the room we have been staying in and laid down. Sakura ran out to go help the other two. Sasuke kneels by my bed looking down at me almost as if he was seeing a ghost. Frowning at the pain in his eyes I find myself sighing and looking up at the ceiling. "You protected me in that battle, Sasuke." I speak up causing him to take in a slow breath, his eyes never wavering from me as if afraid I am dead and he's just dreaming. I couldn't help but frown at this thought.
"I know I've left you confused these last few days. I had my reasons but it seems I have been unfair to you by not explaining them. You see when Itachi and Shisui tested my heart. Itachi purposefully left critical strikes open. To see if I would go for them. I don't want to kill anyone, just protect. I'm not an idiot, I know there will be times like today when there is no other choice but to kill our enemy. But knowing this and being prepared for this is different than chasing after it."
Moving my gaze back to Sasuke so I can meet his pain-filled onyx hues. "Hate leads to more hate. Pain leads to more pain. This is true. Just as it's true with the life of a ninja, blood will spill. That is inevitable. We are trained to kill. I see now with the way you protected me. That the innocence I had hoped to see in our training, is still there. Buried just beneath the surface." Reaching up I find myself lightly dragging my fingertips over his cheek. "Don't lose it. That part of you. It's more important than you know." He surprises me as he catches my hand and cups both of his around it.
"Tala, if... If I was stronger, you wouldn't be in this mess." He practically whimpers causing me to tilt my head. Just like that, he was seven years old again in my eyes. I guess his innocence isn't buried that deeply. "I'm fine Sasuke. I'm not dead yet." I tried to pass off my situation lightly to end his pain. Shaking my head I watch his gaze that had hardened with time from his building hate for Itachi, finally soften. What he did next had my eyes widening.
Sasuke raises my hand still clasped between his up to his face. Resting his forehead against my knuckles lightly in such a way his lips were almost touching my wrist as he closes his eyes. "I swear, I'll become stronger. I will have the power I need to protect you." He breathes against my skin before he lets go and gets up. Walking out of the room without another word. Leaving me confused. Did I wake up in an alternate reality or something? Did I actually die again? Unable to understand what is going through his head I look up at the ceiling. It's not you that needs to get stronger, Sasuke. My arrogance and indecisiveness did this.
It took three days before I could move on my own. Now we were standing on a cliffside overlooking the ocean. Zabuza's sword is stuck in the ground as a grave marker. To me, even if this was a nice sentiment, it isn't permanent and their graves will inevitably be lost in time. Sakura steps up to the executioner's blade and lays flowers down on the ground next to it. "Is that really it, Kakashi Sensei?" She asks as she places her hands on her knees a moment looking down at her flowers. "Is that really the ninja way? To use and be used by people like tools?" As she finishes she stands and turns to face Kakashi. Her question is innocent enough. I know this, and yet, it still brings my pain up to the surface as I think about my brothers.
"Shinobi are all merely tools in the hands of destiny." Kakashi replies gently. "No point in wondering what's right or wrong… It just is. It's the same in the Village Hidden in the Leaves." Are we? We are a means to protect but isn't there more to it than that? "Well if you ask me. If that's what being a ninja is all about, then something's out of whack!" Naruto shouts as he turns to face Kakashi pulling my eyes away from the graves to look at him. "Is that why we go through all this training?! Just to end up like them?!"
"What is the reason for that?" Sasuke speaks up with a hand on his hip and a frown pulling at his features. "Well, it's a question without an answer." Kakashi answers them quietly. "And that is what we ninja must deal with every day of our lives. Like Zabuza… and the kid." He informs them and I turn to look back down at the graves. Thinking about this mission and the times I spent with my brothers. Their conversations about the clan and their ideas of how to stop it. Everything they ever said to me or around me. Everything Shinku ever taught me and the books I've read.
"It's not a question without an answer." I find myself speaking quietly drawing their gazes to me. "Life is that way. Be it, ninja or civilians. We are used just as we use others. To end our loneliness, to be fed, to grow. To love and be loved. It's all a way of using each other. Even in squads. We use each other to watch our backs, work with us to complete missions. Keep each other alive. We use each other. The relationship between ninja and a village is the same. It's life. There is no point in questioning it or looking too far in depth. We may use each other, but it is up to us individually to decide how we are to use others."
"Alright!" Naruto calls out after silence had fallen from my words when they had taken the time to think about what I had said. "Right here and now. I've just decided!" He says loudly pulling my attention back to him as he repeats the same words he had said when we were five and laying in the grass after playing. "From now on, I'm finding my own ninja way! A way that's straight and true with no regrets! From now on, I'm following the way of Naruto!" Kakashi seems a bit taken aback as if Naruto's words had thrown him through a loop even as the blond raises his finger chuckling and rubs his nose sheepishly. "Well, that's true, we should all find our own paths within ourselves." I utter out causing Naruto to fully laugh. "Right!"
We walked away from the graves silently. Everyone's moods seem to have lightened up after Naruto's simplistic outburst. Sasuke had his smirk back that's been missing for the last three days. Sakura was smiling and walking with her hands folded behind her back. Naruto had his arms up behind his head as I walk next to him. Leaning a bit as I walk I give him a light nudge with my shoulder. "You're my best friend, you know that right?" I ask him with a small smile pulling at my mask causing him to chuckle. "Always!"
By the time we made it to the bridge the island folk and Tazuna were already waiting for us. Kakashi stops in front of him with his right hand in the pocket of his pants and I could have sworn he visibly caught himself before he could sigh. "We could never have finished the bridge without you." Tazuna speaks up with a smile. "I can't tell you how much I'm going to miss you." Yeah, right. Tsunami steps up next to Tazuna with a gentle smile. "Do be careful!" She speaks happily.
"Thank you." Kakashi responds by being the only one of us willing to even talk through this tension. Turning my attention to Naruto as his body begins to quiver. "Now, now. Don't get all choked up. We'll come back and visit real soon." He speaks tensely as he fights his own building emotions. Inari standing right in front of him trembling as his eyes begin to tear up. "You swear you will?" He practically whimpers. Naruto nods with a strained smile, his own tears visibly pricking against his blue eyes.
"Of course. You know Inari, it's alright to cry if you want. There's nothing wrong with that. Go for it!" I couldn't help but smile watching him as he chokes those words out. "Who says I want to cry? Anyways, if there's nothing wrong with it, then why don't you go ahead and cry?" Inari tosses Naruto's words right back at him as his body practically vibrates with his struggle. "No! You first!" Naruto shouts.
"Forget it!" Inari declares just before Naruto turns away with tears rushing down his cheeks. Slipping my arm over Naruto's shoulders I lean my head against his to help soothe him. Naruto continued to cry as we walked over the bridge. "You know, Naruto. Our paths just may intersect with his in the future. It's not like we'll never see him again." I speak gently with a soft smile to him.
"I know but.." He blubbers out causing me to pull away from him a bit to ruffle his hair. "I know." I coo gently. It didn't take him very long to rebound which caused me to giggle. "Haha! As soon as we get back, I'm gonna let Iruka Sensei fix me up a whole mess of ramen to celebrate a mission accomplished!" He calls out officially getting his mind off of Inari. "Oh and just wait until I tell Konohamaru about my adventures! That kid's gonna worship me!"
"Hey." Sakura suddenly says as she runs forward towards Sasuke since Naruto and I had actually fallen to the back of the team when he was pouting. "Yeah?" Naruto suddenly questions hopefully as his blue eyes shimmer in the sun. "Not you, Naruto." Sakura snaps at him over her shoulder before looking back at Sasuke. "Sasuke, when we get back, do you want to go out and do something together?" She questions him nervously. "I don't think so, thanks." He tries to turn her down gently.
"Oh… Okay." She responds to him dejectedly as she looks down at her feet. "Sakura, I'd do something with you if you want!" Naruto pipes up happily trying to cheer her up. Sakura just turns to him with a glare. "What?! Hey, that was a private conversation. Beat it!" She shouts out angrily before punching Naruto off of the bridge. Shaking my head I look towards the edge of the bridge. "Sakura, you know private conversations are done in private right?" I mutter before walking over to the edge to see if I could find Naruto.
After a setback where Naruto lost his Ichiraku Ramen Shop coupon. Where we had to fight off more of Gato's gang that had been picking on Inari and his friends. We had finally got back from the land of waves. A tension was weighing on my shoulders. Every time I would think about our fight with Haku I have been becoming frustrated. I was the only one to fall in that battle. Of course, I was fighting against myself because I could tell Haku didn't want to fight either. But I should have been able to just do what was necessary.
I've replayed that fight in my mind many times to see what I could have done differently. There were a lot of changes that could be made. I had even realized that the reason why he went for a takedown was simply that he figured out, I could break his mirrors and end his Jutsu. If I wasn't so caught up in trying to find a way to end the fight without killing him, I would have been able to save all of us the difficult battle. Instead, mentally I was too weak. "Could it be possible, that Sasuke going after critical blows is… necessary?" I mutter to myself as I walk through the village towards the bridge team seven meets at. Would this mean I should retrain myself and go for more direct hits as well?
The Third Hokage had decided after such a difficult mission our squad should take a bit of a break. I could only guess it was because he could tell when we got back how much the battle was weighing on most of our minds. So, for a couple of weeks all team seven has usually been doing, is training. When we weren't together training as a team, I've been trying to help my teammates individually. With Sasuke's Sharingan he's become more of a workout for me than he had been in the trees in the land of waves. However, he is noticeably trying not to go for critical blows as often now. Naruto's shadow clones though simple to avoid and dispel he too is growing in his taijutsu. That and my best friend's chakra reserves are a pain.
Sakura though, during my first training session with her. I could tell almost immediately how much farther behind she is from the rest of us. At first, she was discouraged because she couldn't touch me at all. But she is finding a sense of determination inside of her to not give up. It definitely helped when I pointed out that Sasuke isn't the kind of guy that would go out with a girl so much weaker than he is. She knew at the end of that particular session that I had purposefully used Sasuke against her but she couldn't complain.
Of course, I could also tell that Kakashi was taking time with the team as well individually. Though mostly he was focusing on Sasuke. I figured that out when he had to ditch out on a few of our training sessions to go with Kakashi. My one-on-one training with Kakashi were awkward at first and just like on our missions. I had to push back the pain he brings up inside of me. To force both of us into focusing on training. With Kakashi's training at first, he wanted to judge exactly what I am capable of so we would spar with set rules he'd give me. Taijutsu only, then I could add in Jutsu.
Sharingan was the final test and I was left so worn out I could hardly stand. Kakashi… definitely didn't hold back. Once again, he was left with the thought of how my skills are much higher than genin, but my lack of experience is a major player. He had finally asked me if I realized he was leaving himself purposefully open for different strikes that not once did I go for. When I had pointed out each time, he did leave himself open. It left him with the question as to why I wouldn't go for them. That one simple question is what left me taking time to think about my fight with Haku. It is why I think I understand now that critical strikes for the takedown are necessary and leaving me wondering what strikes I can take but still not kill my opponent. Or if there are ways to incapacitate without fatal blows.
Deep down, I had wished I could ask Itachi what I should do. To bounce my ideas, thoughts, and feelings off of him like I used to. His input was always well thought out and made a lot of sense. He used to claim it was because we were so much alike. After all, anyone else would only find themselves more confused afterward than they started. So with the help of the shadow clone jutsu I mastered, my solo training became focused on one thing. Shisui's expertise as Itachi had explained to me the last day I seen him. If I can control my enemy then I could essentially take them down without hurting them. That was my only thought during my training and I finally understand what Itachi had meant that day. About the Eye of Hypnotism being the most difficult of the Sharingan powers to get a handle on. It requires a level of concentration and chakra control that I have never done before. However, I am determined.
Apparently, I was the last one to arrive at the bridge. Even Kakashi was already there and it looks like Sakura and Naruto had just got done with yelling at him but were still fuming. "Sorry I'm late, your notice to meet came in while I was in the middle of training." I speak up gaining their attention and rubbing my side where my clone had managed to kick me when the bird had distracted me. "You got me kicked Sensei and nearly kicked off the cliff." I add in once their eyes are all on me. I could see Kakashi's mask wrinkle in a smirk as if he found that information funny. "Hn, you're always training." Sasuke grunts and pockets his hands. "Right! She always refuses to do anything with me because she's training!" Naruto laughs out and Sakura folds her hands behind her back with a small giggle. "Well since I'm not training with you guys right now, I hope you still are keeping up on it." I point out as I stop next to them with my right hand in my shorts pocket. "I am, believe it!"
"Me too." Sakura pipes up happily nearly causing me to smile. That's good. I was afraid she'd slack off while I take the time to focus on my training. " We have a mission today." Kakashi mutters drawing our attention. "Alright! Who are we going to escort today? A princess? A Lord?! A…" Naruto begins shouting excitedly so I put my hand on his shoulder making his words fall silent as his cheeks turn red for some reason. Kakashi just shakes his head. "We are tasked with cleaning the river west of town. A, D-rank mission, for genin." He informs us and I could almost feel Naruto's anger ready to explode before he shoots a glare at Sasuke. "Naruto, beat him up some other time." I smirk as I slip my arm onto his shoulder and guide him after Kakashi.