I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR THE CHARACTERS.
Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "You're On Your Own, Kid" - Taylor Swift

'I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this...

The jokes weren't funny. I took the money…

I looked around, in a blood-soaked gown, and I saw something they can't take away.'

Chapter Two:

I jerked awake, when I heard the front door open and close. It took a few seconds for my heart to stop pounding in my chest. I trained my ears and let out a breath of relief, when I heard the tell-tale sounds of Sammy. The side of my chest aches. Experience told me that my ribs were only bruised, not broken, or fractured. Thank god.

I pushed myself up and climbed out of bed. I padded out to the living room to find Sam pulling out his homework. He had a snack, from Benny, by the looks of it. He even had a to-go container open with a slice of pie, untouched. My lips curved into an easy smile, when I saw it.

"How was school, Sammy?" I asked him, as I helped him take his things to the kitchen table.

"It was good! Benny sent you some pie. He told me to tell you that he'd whip us up some dinner, after I finished my homework, later." Sam relayed, before telling me all about his day. He has the biggest crush on Jessica, a pretty blonde girl in his class. I didn't tease him, as I tucked into the slice of peach pie. I commented here and there, as he spoke about his day. "Dad called." He added, as an afterthought, after he finished reminiscing about his day.

"What did he want?" I sighed.

"Just to say that Ellen won't let him come back to The Roadhouse this week. So, I guess he's taking some job somewhere. I wasn't really listening, after that. He said he'd be leaving tomorrow, but something about his tone sounded… off. Dean, I don't think we should go back, until we know he's gone. Is that okay? I know that you're hurt worse, than you're letting on. I'm scared that he'll hurt you more, than you can take, Dean.

"I know that you don't draw attention to that fact that you're a girl, Dean, but it matters. He… The way he treats you… something really bad could happen. I'm not scared of him for me, Dean. I'm scared of him for you. I know that you'd never let him hurt me." Sammy admitted. He sounded scared, but he also knows our father. He has good protective instincts. I trust him, just as much as he trusts me.

"Of course it's okay, Sammy. We'll stay here. You already know that Gabe doesn't care. We still have some clothes stashed here, and I can throw the clothes we have on in the wash tonight. I trust you, Kiddo. You know that. If your gut's telling you that we should stay, then we'll stay. It's as simple as that." I promised.

"And I'm doing the best I can, Sammy. I know that it's not always good enough… and I won't lie to you. I'm scared of that, too. I just… I don't see an alternative here. I'm sorry." My voice broke and I set down the pie and stood up and faced away from Sam. Angry tears forced their way down my face and I sobbed.

"Dean, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry. I just… I hate him, ya know? I hate what he does and how he treats us. I hate him for being so awful to you, when you always do so much. I don't know what I'd do without you, Dean. I'm terrified that he'll kill you, one day." He apologized. I cursed and mopped the tears off of my face with my shirt sleeve.

"Don't apologize, Sam. You're just being honest and I can't fault you for that. I promise that I'll never leave you. Never. He wouldn't kill me, Sam. I… We'll stay here, till he goes. We'll figure something out. I love you, Sammy." I pulled him into a hug and hoped that I wasn't lying to him.

It's not unheard of that our father would call Sammy, and not me. Apologizing isn't something that Dad really has in his vocabulary, at least not when it comes to us – when it comes to me. I'm not surprised that Dad is probably working some angle that will come back to bite us in the end, but it's not something he would be forthcoming with or admit, even if I did ask.

As always, we have to sit back and wait. I don't have a good feeling about this. I wouldn't say that things are good now, but it's doable. Whatever wrench Daddy Dearest is about to throw into our life, will probably wreak havoc in the worst way possible.

Sam and I ate in the diner and got to catch up with Benny and Charlie. My mind kept drifting, picturing all the worst-case scenarios. As much as I tried, I couldn't stop it. It feels like there is lead in my stomach and there ain't a damn thing I can do about it.

"You doin' okay, Sister?" Benny asked me, his voice dripping with sincerity and concern. I offered him a feeble shrug. I didn't wanna lie to him. In the short time that I've known him, he's become one of my best friends. I forget about our age difference all the time. He always tells me that I have an old soul, but I think that my soul is just so fucking tired. "You can talk to me, Chére. And if you don't wanna talk here, we can talk outside, for a bit. You know I won't tell anyone your business." He offered.

I sighed and my shoulders sagged. He doesn't know that I lie about my age or the supernatural aspects of my life, but he knows most of the rest. And he's true to his word. He hasn't breathed a word of it to anyone else. He wouldn't break my confidence like that.

"Yeah, okay, we can talk outside. Thanks, Man." I agreed, softly. He touched my shoulder and gave it a quick, reassuring squeeze, before leading me out of the diner.

"What really happened last night, Sug?" He asked me, as we both sat on the deserted curb behind the restaurant.

"I got called to pick Dad up and he wasn't ready to go. He was making a scene and trashing whatever he could get his hands on. When I finally was able to get him outside of the bar, he wailed on me, and wouldn't stop, until he got it out of his system.

"Thankfully, it was only a few minutes. He's just so fucking strong. You've seen him. He's built like a tank… or at least, more than I am. It wouldn't matter, if I tried to restrain him. He's just so fucking angry, all the time.

"It doesn't matter that I'm eighteen, because Sammy isn't. It's like he forgets on purpose that I'm not a man or his son. He just always says that I remind him so much of Mom, and I know that he hates it. He'd never let me take Sam, because he wouldn't be able to control me anymore.

"Why would he? I'm his fucking meal ticket. I dropped out of school, so I could make sure Sam could go, and that I could pay the bills. Dad just drinks and pisses away all of our money. If I didn't give the rent money to our landlord, we wouldn't even have that. He doesn't care if we're hungry, or if we don't have clothes, or a way to pay for a place.

"I just… I don't know how much longer I can do this, Man. He just gets meaner and more reckless. Even if I reported him, Sammy would get taken away from me. He can't hurt Sammy, if I'm there. That's why he's always here with me. I'm fucking terrified out of my mind, Benny.

"I barely know which way is up. I'm not equipped to deal with this, but I have to. There isn't an alternative. I just… I feel it in my gut, ya know? He's ramping up to something, and I just know that whatever it is… it'll be something that neither of us can handle. God, I hate him. I shouldn't hate him, but I just can't stop." I whimpered.

Benny put an arm around me and hugged me to his side. I didn't say anything else, as silent tears cascaded down my face. I shook against him, and he just let me fall apart. He wrapped his arms around me, and held me for a while. Talking to him, it's the only time that I ever let myself lose it. I can't afford to any other time. I'd never get up. I would never be able to keep myself going.

"The hand you've been dealt isn't fair to you, at all, Chére, but you're doing the best you can. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you're doing a really fucking good job. That kid in there that you're raising is so good, Dean. And it's because of you. It's not because of your pop, Mon Cœur, that's for damn sure.

"You're doing what you can, and that's all that you can do. Ask for help, when you need it. You have people who love you both, and we'll help however we can. You don't have to do everything on your own. You know that, don't you, Sug?" He questioned, softly. I nodded, not trusting my voice. I just feel so fucking exhausted, down to my bones, all the time. "You're going to make it through this, and John Winchester will get his in the end. Just you wait and see, chére." Benny promised.

I tossed and turned in the bed in the apartment. I couldn't sleep to save my life. I refused to seek refuse with the whiskey tucked away in the kitchen. I didn't want to be like him. And I won't. Even if it kills me. God, I have no freaking clue what I'm doing. Sammy deserves the freaking world, and all he's got is me. And knowing that just kills me.

I jumped as my phone vibrated. I sighed and opened the message, hoping it wasn't our dear old dad. I let out a long breath of relief, when I saw Cas' name.

To Dean:
'Hello, Dean. I can't sleep. Are you still awake, by chance?
-Castiel'

I grinned, as I read his text. Even through text, he still sounds exactly the same. It's just another endearing quality that I love about him. It didn't take me long to type out a reply. I bit my lip in anticipation.

I didn't allow myself to think about the fact that Cas was the single most attractive human that I had ever laid eyes on. I didn't have time for romance, and I definitely didn't have the luxury of entertaining, without signing my own death sentence. Dad has never been subtle with that fact that he's wholeheartedly against me having any type of romantic relationship.

It doesn't matter that I'm pansexual. That isn't the issue. The issue is that he looks at me, and sees a piss-poor version of my mother. He sees her, and is automatically convinced that anytime a man looks at me, in any type of context, that I'm trying to whore myself out. He would just see it as more ammunition to beat my ass and justify it.

To Castiel:
'Hey, Cas. Yeah, I'm up. I haven't been able to sleep, either. What's up? Everything okay?
-Dean'

I didn't have to wait long at all. I didn't even have time to overthink things or my giant crush on my boss' younger brother.

To Dean:
'Oh, I'm fine, Dean. I was just wondering how you were doing. Those bruises looked painful, when I saw you, this morning. I know that you don't like to talk about your home situation, but if you ever need an ear, I hope you know that I am here for you, and I am a good listener. I would not break your confidence. I know that you don't always work over the weekend, but I was wondering if you and Sam would like to accompany me to an apiary on Saturday? I had told Sam about the one that I like to frequent, and he seemed excited about the possibility of going. It's my happy place, when I need a break from everything else in the world. I thought you might also like a small reprieve. I also enjoy spending time with you both.
-Castiel'

My throat went dry and my brain felt like it was short-circuiting. He wants to spend time with us? With me? He and I haven't really done anything outside of the diner. I'm almost always working and I never dared to think about the possibility. More than anything, I want to go.

To Castiel:
'I would love that, Cas. How much is it to go? Sammy and I are on kind of a tight budget. He has a fieldtrip next week, and I wanted to surprise him, by taking him to get some new clothes and a better school bag, this weekend. Maybe we could do both?
-Dean'

I worried my bottom lip, as I waited to hear if us going would even be a feasible possibility. I can't mention it to Sammy, unless I know that I can swing it. I hate disappointing him, more than anything.

To Dean:
'It won't cost anything to go, Dean. I am friends with the beekeeper who owns the apiary, and he welcomes fellow bee enthusiasts. I have been friends with him, since I was a child. What do you think? Would you like to make a day of it? Going to the apiary, and then shopping for Sam? I think the three of us would have a lot of fun.
*bee emoji* *smiley face* *yellow heart* *black heart*
-Castiel'

I laughed, when I read his reply, and saw all of the emojis he sent. My heart panged, as a flood of warmth filled my chest. God, he's so fucking cute. I have it bad.

To Castiel:
'Yes, Cas, for sure. I'd love that, and I know Sammy would, too. Thank you, for thinking of us. We don't get out a lot. It's hard, when I'm always working, and he's stuck with his boring older sister at the diner. This will be a nice change of pace. I can't wait. It'll be nice to see ya outside of the restaurant.
*smiley face with sunglasses* *winky face* *finger-guns emoji*
-Dean'

To Dean:
'Excellent. I look forward to it, very much. I'll let you go. I should probably try to get a little bit of sleep. Morning will be here, before I know it. I'll see you and Sam in the morning. Thank you, for agreeing to come with me. We will have a wonderful time. Goodnight, Dean.
*smiley face* *bee emoji* *sleepy face* *yellow heart* *smiley face with hearts around it*
-Castiel'

Hell, what did I just agree to? It's not a date, right? Surely, not, not with Sammy with us. I let out a small laugh. And just like that, I had something to look forward to.

'Take the moment and taste it.
You've got no reason to be afraid.
You're on your own, kid.
Yeah.
You can face this.
You're on your own, kid.
You always have been.'