NANA
His choked moan, which was drowned out by his hammering heartbeat, echoed in his room, and perspiration began to gather at his temple almost instantly.
Yes, it was true that this wasn't the first time he woke up to Itachi's presence in his room. His Aniki, after all, had shuffled by his bedside on numerous accounts and fiddled with the sheets or his hand or clothes until he was jostled awake in the middle of the night, but never, ever did his Aniki touch him in such an intimate way without nudging at him for permission first. Itachi never so much as kissed him without a head nod or a 'yes' from Sasuke no matter how dazed or incoherent he was.
Truly, that was the most startling part about being woken up, but Sasuke was overwhelmed by the sense of relief that washed away his loneliness, of Itachi avoiding him earlier, that he chose to let himself sink into the man's touch.
It didn't seem like his Aniki realized that he had woken up from his slumber. In fact, it didn't appear as if he cared. From the moment Sasuke's eyes blinked open to the moment they adjusted in the dark, the man had gone from dipping his tongue into him in shallow thrusts to attempting to shove the entirety of it as deeply as it could go inside of him. He could hear the crackling of his jaw as it unhinged, attempting to minimize the space between his mouth and Sasuke's softening hole.
The boy's body arched from the bed and his hole twitched violently around the intrusion. His low groan cut through the suckling noises in the room and vibrated off of his own chest against the mattress. Each time Sasuke dug his face into his pillow to quiet himself, he could hear the wet licking sounds from behind and it made him burn with embarrassment and deep, raw pleasure.
Itachi was insistent. Even when Sasuke knew his hole was slicked up with saliva and more than soft enough for penetration, the man did not let up. Not when Sasuke twisted and flinched as his sensitivity increased with each probing thrust. Not when his body tensed, his fingers clawed at the sheets and his body convulsed, and the area beneath his hips grew wet and sticky. Not when he muffled his scream and his body grew lax afterward.
His Aniki never stopped.
When he couldn't stand it anymore, Sasuke pressed a palm back against his Aniki's forehead while attempting to crawl forward and away from him. His shaky limbs got him a couple inches, maybe a foot, forward before he felt hands grasping at his ankles and he was dragged back.
"A-Aniki!" he shrieked as his body was flattened out on the mattress and rolled over. Over his gasping breaths, Sasuke found his legs hiked up in the air with his Aniki's fingers clasped around the back of his knees.
And that's when he heard it.
A predatory growl so low that Sasuke felt himself still.
"Mine."
Itachi's grip tightened and Sasuke found his thighs pushed further apart in the air until Sasuke felt cold air brush along his exposed hole. The boy covered his face with his fingers as his cheeks burned fiercely, but when no other movements came after that, he peeked through his fingers and found Itachi staring intently between his legs.
His Aniki's cock jutted out between his toned thighs, leaking and heavy as ever, as it twitched profoundly. Sasuke wanted to stick his tongue out and shove it in his mouth, suck on it like a goddamn popsicle until it dripped with juices, and then slide it down his throat until he gagged and choked on it.
But his Aniki had different things in mind as he leaned forward and settled his thick cock between his cheeks and dragged it up and down like he was tracing the same line repeatedly on a sheet of paper.
"A-Aniki," Sasuke whimpered as his hips tried to lift up off the mattress without any luck. "I-I want it inside. P-please."
A trickle of Itachi's precum dribbled down his cheek and disappeared underneath him on the bedspread. Each repeated drag of his thick cock left wetness smeared along Sasuke's lower region.
"Mine."
Sasuke's eyes shut briefly as he let the word sink down into his being. When he looked up at his Aniki, the man was staring back at him. With a shaky hand, Sasuke reached up to brush his fingertips along his Aniki's left cheek. He bit his lip when Itachi pressed more insistently against his lower region.
What was his Aniki trying to do?
"'Tachi," he whispered, marveling at the smoothness he felt beneath his touch. "I love you. I love you so much."
As if Sasuke's words had broken past the shell, Itachi's blank features suddenly looked different to Sasuke. It was brighter one second and back to default before Sasuke could even blink. He hardly had time to think much of it when Itachi's voice uttered the same word again.
"MINE."
Sasuke nearly flinched at how the growl had increased in volume and was now right in his face as if his Aniki was demanding a response.
"All yours," Sasuke hushedly stated, eyes rolling back into his skull when he felt Itachi sink into his core immediately after. "Oh, fuck!"
Sasuke had no time to adjust to the girth that left his hole agape, yet closing tightly right after, with a single thrust. His body jostled along the mattress as Itachi fucked him mercilessly, dragging his cock along his inner walls only to empty him completely inside and fill him back up again to the hilt.
There was so much Sasuke could not stand about that very moment. The sound of his Aniki's heavy breathing and raspy groans, the suddenly intoxicating scent of him, the way he dug holes into Sasuke's body as he stared at him the entire time, the way he made sure his cock was balls deep inside of Sasuke before he pulled out, and especially the way his eyelids fluttered each time Sasuke clenched down on him.
And that was when Sasuke realized he'd forgotten the condom.
When Itachi had first grown suspicious of his behavior, Sasuke had vowed to minimize any and all evidence of his transgression. If he tossed his sullied sheets in the washer daily, he was sure to get dirty looks from Itachi. At least with condoms, he'd be able to dispose of the evidence in an easier and cleaner fashion.
The boy noticed that, whereas Itachi didn't come as often as he did, his seed tended to overflow when he did come. It was a hefty amount each time: thick, warm, and a translucent white. Coupled with Sasuke's mess, the sheets were practically unusable by early morning.
So, of course when Sasuke first sought to minimize the evidence their late night events produced, that was the first thing he considered. When he first stopped a sleepwalking Itachi from fucking him and tugged the rubber over him, he swore he felt his Aniki still and growl in distaste. The man had pawed at his entrapped erection like he'd been tossed into a cage and attempted to remove it, and had it not been for Sasuke guiding him inside immediately following the new treatment, his Aniki would have ripped it off in a second flat.
Sasuke had nodded along with that sentiment at the time. He had to sacrifice quite a bit, too. He had to give up allowing his Aniki to pump his ass full of cum until it overflowed and dribbled all over the bed. He had to give up the raw flesh-to-flesh connection he received from their coupling. It was a huge sacrifice, but one he was willing to give up if that meant he wouldn't be on the receiving end of Itachi's hatred.
Granted, the whole thing was a temporary fix like taping over a leaky pipe for a lack of a better simile. If he was going through such lengths to hide something from his Aniki, he knew it was bad.
Itachi had taken him by surprise tonight though, so he didn't think to grab one for each of them. Additionally, with the way Itachi was fucking Sasuke, there was no way the boy could get him to listen and pull out long enough to drag one over his cock, so Sasuke allowed the inevitable to occur.
He had missed feeling his beloved Aniki's warmth inside of him and how he could feel every inch of the man's swollen member as it dragged its way out before pushing back in. It was beyond addictive.
But still, something was amiss.
"You look d-different, Aniki. You l-look sad." Sasuke shivered and his back arched when the blunt head of the man's cock pressed firmly against his prostate. He scrambled to press both palms flat against his mouth, sealing the scream that filtered through the crevices between his fingers.
Itachi stilled. Although it was so brief that it could have been passed off as nonexistent, Sasuke felt the insistent movements stutter to a halt before resuming with more gusto… and more purpose.
It felt like he was being confronted with a pent-up Itachi, full of frustration, anger, and sadness rolled into one.
At some point, the boy's eyes grew blurry, creating a dazed-like effect, and when he blinked away the blur, he felt something wet on his cheek. It rolled down his cheek toward his lips, and when he chased after it with his fingertips, he realized it was a tear.
Except it wasn't his.
Sasuke's eyes zoned in on his Aniki, who hovered over him, but had long since froze. Even though Itachi's hold on his body was firm and borderline bruising, the rest of his body was shaking.
"A-Aniki," Sasuke stuttered, eyes widening. "Are you… crying?"
Silence.
"'Tachi?"
Like a puppy who had been abandoned in the rain, Itachi released a whimper that echoed in the room. It sat heavy in the air, accompanied by the wetness Sasuke felt when he brushed his fingertips along Itachi's cheek. His heart convulsed painfully against his rib cage, berating himself for causing his Aniki to shed tears.
"Aniki…" Sasuke whispered. A lifetime's worth of sadness rested in that singular noise. Sasuke thought it was ironic. His Aniki, who brought so much joy, love, and fulfillment to Sasuke's entire existence, was also the man he was calling to with such raw, unfiltered pain. The same man Sasuke pushed toward crying so despairingly in his sleepwalking state.
"Lonely."
"I'm sorry," Sasuke croaked. "I love you, Aniki. I really, really love you. Please don't cry."
Itachi nuzzled against his palm like a love-starved creature, the slight shift in his body drawing a wince out of Sasuke he retrieved his hand and propped himself up.
"Let me just clean us up, and you can sleep with me in my bed, okay?
Itachi resisted when Sasuke gently coaxed him out of his body, pressing back vehemently as if he viewed such actions as a form of rejection, the highest form of abandonment and neglect.
Seeing such a heartbreaking sight, the boy felt even more guilty as he slowly dragged himself up into a sitting position against the headboard and pressed a few warm kisses to the man's shoulder. "Shhh," he soothed, shushing the man with light caresses until Itachi stopped panicking and jerking around. "It's okay. Stay, Aniki. Be good. I'll be right back, okay?"
He stopped short of the adjoining bathroom when he realized his Aniki didn't have a speck of clothing in his room, leading him to leave his bedroom to stop by Itachi's room. He, of course, had to cover Itachi's lower extremities with a pair of sweatpants lest he become suspicious.
Of course, Itachi did not stay, and trailed after him like a lost puppy, his movements slowed, if not absent-minded. Sasuke said nothing of it, casting a small smile in his direction even though he knew his Aniki could not have been conscious of it.
Inside the man's room, Sasuke located Itachi's dresser and pulled open two drawers before he found the one containing nightwear. He fumbled around for a pair until he happened upon burgundy silk ones that looked comfortable. Sasuke was ready to shut the drawer when, upon withdrawing his hand, he brushed against something round, cylindrical in nature, that rattled.
With brows drawn together, his fingers wrapped around the foreign object and he detached it from the mountain of clothing it was under. With the sliver of moonlight that shone through the curtains, he was able to ascertain that it was a half empty prescription bottle.
The words Dayvigo and insomnia glared back at him, startling him so much that the bottle fell from his hands and rolled on the partial hardwood floor before the rattling ceased when the bottle bumped into Itachi's immobile feet.
Scrambling, Sasuke picked up the bottle, shoved it back where he found it, closed the drawer, and grasped onto his naked Aniki's hand, leading him back to his own room.
All the while, questions began to form in his brain, the most predominant of all whispering to him in a haunting careless: Since when? And how had he not known that his Aniki was suffering?
Sasuke helped Itachi step into the pair of pants he had grabbed, and without any prompting, his Aniki climbed into his bed, waited for Sasuke to do the same, and was asleep within seconds, leaving the boy to overthink in the dark.
H.J.
Itachi felt warm. As his eyelids fluttered, he snuggled deeper into his comfortable bed with a sigh.
When was the last time he felt so at ease upon waking up in the morning? Not sluggish, not lonely, and far from exhausted. Itachi's nose twitched when something soft and spiky tickled it, and when he inhaled deeply and his supposed pillow shifted in his grip, his eyes shot open, leaving him to stare down at his Otouto curled against his chest.
Somehow, waking up in Sasuke's bed did nothing to quell his wild heartbeat. In fact, it beat twice as fast as he wracked his brain for any memory of climbing in with him last night. Alas, he drew a blank.
"Did I barge into your room last night?" he whispered. Despite his question, Itachi pressed a kiss to the top of his Otouto's head with no hesitation. "Thank you for letting me stay. I'm sorry I got so mad last night. I was hurt."
Pain zinged through his chest, making the man cringe. Even thinking about it made him a bit nuts, riling him up in ways that he could not suppress if it was not for the angel breathing gently into the crook of his neck.
"Why aren't you wearing a shirt? You're going to catch a cold like that," Itachi murmured, coaxing Sasuke's curled up body closer to his own naked chest as if hiding him from the world. Simultaneously, he tugged the comforter higher to shield the boy's fair skin from the cool, crisp air circulating in the room, sandwiching Sasuke between his body and the blanket. "There you go, watashi no kokoro. Nice and safe with Aniki."
With a small sigh, Itachi finally had a chance to get a good look at his Otouto. It seemed like those days had dwindled down to never, so he cherished every second he received to admire Sasuke's serene face.
Itachi's face was probably gushing with adoration and pride and sappy gentleness and all the things that made him a doting Aniki of the boy, and for once, he got to bathe in the moment without his Otouto withdrawing from his touch or finding an excuse to leave. Slowly, the man relaxed into bed, squeezing him closer to his chest. Itachi nuzzled the boy's unruly spikes, placed another kiss upon it, and then set his cheek on top.
"You're so precious to me," he whispered, his embrace tightening as he brought the boy even closer, cradling him like a precious jewel.
It was still dark out, and the only witness of his ramblings were the moon and the silent room. "When did you grow up, Otouto?" Itachi felt the side of his pillow turn damp. He'd been doing that a lot lately, and it had been taking a toll on his body and mind. "Do you really not need Aniki anymore? That can't be possible, right?"
Itachi shut his eyes and nuzzled his face closer to Sasuke, inhaling his Otouto's scent deeply by the mouthful. He allowed himself to take a trip down memory lane.
Ages 8/3:
"Muah! Muah! Muah! Muah!"
Itachi's hand came down on the adorable head of hair, calming down the excited boy. His fingers came up to swipe at his cheek. An exaggerated look overtook his countenance as he stared at his drool-covered hand. It was just for show and, surely enough, his Otouto laughed boisterously in his lap.
"When did you become such a kissing monster, Otouto?" eight-year-old Itachi chastised lightly, fighting back a smile as Sasuke's hands steadied themselves on his shoulders.
The boy had wandered into the room from the kitchen where their mother was preparing lunch and had suddenly climbed onto the couch, stood between his parted thighs, and bestowed upon him a mountain of open mouth kisses.
"Kaa-san says kisses are for people I love," Sasuke's childish voice declared.
"And that's why you kissed me a dozen or so times just now?" Itachi replied, amused yet flattered.
"Mhmm!" Sasuke nodded vigorously, his chubby cheeks jiggling along the way. He was so adorable. His ink black, large and owlish eyes blinked up at Itachi, further coaxing him to look fondly at the boy. Itachi would allow him to slobber over him anyday.
"So then, did you give Kaa-san kisses, too?" Itachi asked, keeping the boy steady by holding onto his tiny hips.
His Otouto shook his head vehemently. "My kisses are for Aniki!" he declared proudly.
Itachi felt his heart warm a million times over and a smile curved itself onto his lips. "Only for Aniki?"
Another enthusiastic head nod. Sasuke flashed a beaming smile.
"What if someone else asks you for kisses?"
Sasuke 'hmphed' and his lower lip jutted out. "No," he said with sass. "I only love Aniki."
The smile stretched fully on Itachi's lips, delighting the boy, and he leaned forward and kissed each one of Sasuke's reddened cheeks. The pliant flesh beneath his lips beckoned more kisses, but Itachi held back. "I love you, too, my dear Otouto."
"Forever and ever?"
"Forever and ever," Itachi replied tenderly. "There will never be another soul."
Ages 11/6:
Itachi stirred in bed when the mattress dipped and something shuffled beside him. When he opened his eyes and blinked a few times, he noticed a small bundle attached to his side like glue.
"Otouto?" he mumbled, sleep still clouding his voice. The whimper he received was enough to jolt him awake fully. When he lifted the covers, Sasuke's large, watery eyes came into view. "What's wrong, Otouto? Did you have a bad dream?"
"A-Aniki…"
That was a yes.
"Do you want to sleep with Aniki tonight?"
The boy nodded so hard that Itachi was afraid his head would fall off. Itachi turned fully to his side and opened his arms. "Okay. Come, Otouto."
Sasuke launched into his arms like a cannonball and huddled closely to Itachi's chest.
"Everything's okay," Itachi soothed, brushing his bangs aside to kiss his forehead.
"You love me, Aniki?" Sasuke's small voice asked.
"I gave you a kiss, didn't I?" Itachi said with a smile. "What do kisses mean?"
"… That you love me."
"Mhmm. I love you more than anything, watashi no kokoro. Now, go to sleep, and I'll be here to protect you."
"Thank you, Aniki. I love you."
Ages 13/8:
"Aniki! Aniki!"
Sasuke barged into Itachi's room, his backpack bouncing behind him. When he was greeted with an empty room, his excitement died down and his shoulders began to slump. Walking further into the room, the boy bit his lip to stave off a growing frown.
Where was he?
"Sasuke-chan? You're home," his Kaa-san's gentle voice echoed behind him.
Sasuke turned around in haste, fingers scrunched tighter onto the card in his hand. The one he had made at school.
"What's wrong, Sasuke-chan?" Mikoto asked when it was apparent the boy was close to a breakdown.
"Where's Aniki? Why is he not here?"
"Oh, honey, did you forget that Itachi-kun is on a field trip today? He doesn't return until tomorrow night."
The boy's bottom lip quivered. "But… why?" he croaked. "He didn't t-tell me. He left me. A-Aniki left me." Sobs began to wrack his body to a degree his shoulders trembled and his tears dripped all over the floor.
"Oh, Sasuke-chan. Your nii-san didn't leave you. He'll be back soon," Mikoto soothed, pressing a palm along the boy's back. "You've been attached to your nii-san forever. It might do some good to go do things you want to do."
"No!" Sasuke shrieked, throwing the card onto the ground. "I want Aniki! I want to see Aniki!"
Sasuke cried for nearly a half an hour before a fretting Mikoto picked up the phone, concern evident in her soft features.
"Mhmm, Itachi-kun," she murmured into the receiver as she walked down the hallway. "I didn't want to bother you on your trip, but I don't think it's getting any better. He is in your room tucked between your bed and nightstand, and he refuses to move. I'm afraid he'd cry himself sick. Okay, I'll pass you over to him."
Mikoto knelt down in front of the boy and ruffled his spikes. "Sasuke-chan, I have your nii-san on the phone."
She'd never seen the boy shoot up so fast to snatch the phone from her. With a sigh and a shake of her head, she left the two alone as she busied herself with dinner.
Sasuke's sobs echoed over the receiver back at him as he called pitifully into the phone. "A-Aniki."
"Hi, my sweet Otouto," came the murmur of all things good and loving in Sasuke's short life.
A sense of relief and calmness flowed through Sasuke's entire body, reducing the trembles in his body. "Aniki, where did you g-go?" he croaked.
"I'm in Okinawa," Itachi responded. "Why are you crying, Otouto?"
"I-I came home and y-you weren't h-here. You were s-supposed to b-be h-here."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, watashi no kokoro. I realized, if I told you, I would make you sad, so I chose not to tell you for selfish reasons."
"Aniki, you're horrible," Sasuke whispered.
"I know. Aniki is sorry. I realize this is the first time I've been away from my lovely Otouto, isn't it?"
"Mm. I don't want to c-come home to a p-place that doesn't have you," Sasuke whimpered. "Come back."
Ages 15/10:
Itachi had been at the library all day after school. His sensei had prompted the class to do research for an essay that was due two weeks before graduation. By the time he stepped outside, it had been a quarter after eight in the evening. It'd take another five minutes before he could get off at the right station and walk three blocks to his house.
High school was so taxing.
More than that, he hadn't seen his Otouto since seven in the morning when he left. By the time he would get home, Sasuke would be fast asleep. His bedtime was at eight and, aside from when he was a ball of nerves, he never had much trouble falling asleep.
The doors opened and he stepped out and began heading for the nearest exist, but Itachi's footsteps halted completely when his gaze snagged onto a small figure sitting at the entrance steps of the subway station. A boy with ink black hair. Alone. By himself. Without an adult in sight.
It was as if that individual had sensed his presence because the child turned around, set his gaze on Itachi, and fucking beamed. "Aniki!"
Itachi's expression was the opposite. He fumed, anger winning over as his feet hurriedly found their way to the boy. "What the hell are you doing outside late at night by yourself?" Itachi hissed. He grabbed Sasuke's thin arms and nearly shook the living daylights out of him.
Sasuke's face immediately fell. "I was waiting for you," he mumbled. "You didn't come home, Aniki. I waited for you."
Itachi was torn between anger and guilt. He was speechless.
Sasuke peeked at him from his downcast position, employing a tear-filled gaze. "Kaa-san said you'd be getting off at this stop so I came to wait for you."
"Does Kaa-san know you came out here all by yourself?"
Sasuked looked away sheepishly. "I may have told her I went to bed and then climbed out my bedroom window," he mumbled.
Itachi stared at Sasuke, opened his mouth, closed it, and proceeded to repeat this thrice before he began rubbing at his temple. "How long have you been waiting here?"
Sasuke's head snapped back in Itachi's direction. "Not long!" he chirped. "Maybe twenty minutes."
"Do you know how unsafe that was? Were you planning on waiting there all night if I didn't see you?" Itachi snapped.
"Nope. You would have seen me, Aniki. You'd never not recognize me. Ow!"
As soon as those shameless words left his Otouto's mouth, Itachi's thumb and index fingers were already poised and flicking against the center of the boy's forehead. His Otouto had the audacity to pout, rub his forehead, and proceed to grin at Itachi.
How utterly brazen.
"Did you miss me that much?" he finally said with a sigh, hoisting Sasuke into his arms as he ascended up the steps.
"Mhmm!" Sasuke's tiny arms hugged Itachi's neck. "I missed you so, so much, Aniki."
Another defeated sigh escaped Itachi's vocals. God, his Otouto was adorable. "I missed you, too, watashi no kokoro," he replied, pecking the boy's forehead. "Make sure you climb back in through your window when we get home."
Sasuke erupted into a fit of giggles. "You're the best, Aniki!"
When he woke up again, Itachi's arms were empty and the bed was cold. Itachi hated that he jolted out of bed in a fit of panic, an inexplicable kind of anxiety overflowing in his chest. Perhaps, it was because his mind began to wander, and the reality of his actions weighed on his conscience. Maybe Sasuke didn't allow him to sleep with him in his bed, but rather, he was unaware that Itachi had snuck into his bed in the middle of the night. Maybe his Otouto was hurt and mad at him for ignoring him last night, because he refused to show the boy the shabby tears that flowed down his face like sweat on a hot day.
Guilt and regret bubbled in his chest like an overheated cauldron. He had fucked up.
Itachi swallowed thickly as his feet thumped onto the carpet. "Sasuke?" he muttered quietly, unsure whether his lack of voice was due to his dry throat or his fear of confirming his abandonment.
H.J.
It wasn't that Sasuke was looking for an excuse to leave early, but one happened to present itself when he stumbled out of bed that morning, so he gratefully took it.
Thankfully, he'd woken up earlier than his Aniki, who had his entire front pressed to his back as he spooned him in his sleep, and thankfully, he had noticed he'd been so wrapped up in his mind last night that he'd forgotten to put on anything more than a pair of briefs.
When he looked at himself in the vanity mirror in the bathroom, the hitch in his breathing was evident. Light purple and red blotches peeked out at him from underneath his waistband, a clear rendering of his Aniki's handprints from last night when the man gripped him tightly and spared no mercy at digging deeper into him.
Idly, Sasuke traced over the closest mark with his index finger. "What are you thinking, Aniki?" he said hushedly, shaking his head. With the man in the next room, so close that Sasuke could feel the weight of his presence from beyond the locked door, he had a hard time thinking.
So that's when he tiptoed out the door with his keys. His Aniki didn't let him drive often, partly because Sasuke rarely needed to go anywhere further than walking distance and partly because Itachi would often nag about how unsafe it was to drive even though Itachi drove everywhere. However, he did have his license and sometimes it was nice to drive in the early morning when it was quiet and peaceful.
That's how he found himself pushing around a cart at the supermarket.
It's not that he needed to go get groceries that morning, but he thought a little space from his Aniki would be nice to calm his overactive heart. Seriously, it was now so bad that it would leap into his throat each time he was in the same room as Itachi.
He'd never realized that being in love was so all-consuming. He really needed to get a grip.
Plus, their last wakeful encounter didn't exactly end on the best of terms. Sasuke bristled and his heart plummeted at the thought. He had been ignored, swept to the side, and literally locked out.
Ugh.
He didn't realize he stopped in the middle of a hallway until someone murmured an "Excuse me." Sasuke steered his cart along, mentally stowing away Itachi's hurt, yet somewhat vacant expression when he walked away.
By the time he was done, it was a quarter till ten, and the sun was shining gently above his messy head of hair. The boy put two brown bags of groceries in the trunk of his Aniki's car, buckled himself in, and drove home.
When he arrived home, it was eerily quiet. Given the time, he was surprised that his Aniki wasn't up and about yet. Perhaps he locked himself in his room again. Could he really put that past his Aniki at this point?
He set the bags on the kitchen counter and turned to open the fridge, but paused with a start when a creaking noise from the living room caught his attention. Slowly, Sasuke fully turned in that direction and, if possible, his shoulders hiked higher with unease when he made eye contact with Itachi, who sat in a sofa chair at the far end of the room.
Sasuke cleared his throat. "Hey." His voice came out roughly and he cleared his throat again, managing to hold onto Itachi's gaze while doing so. "I didn't know you were up."
His Aniki didn't respond, but his eyes became the holder of his inner turmoil as they darted between the door Sasuke walked through earlier and the boy, himself.
An air of unease flitted through the atmosphere, and Sasuke couldn't help but notice how his Aniki's dark eyes zeroed in on him after, and his lips thinned out as if he was holding in his words.
Sasuke shifted his weight onto his other foot, and he, too, casted a glance at the door off-handedly. The boy jumped when a thud echoed in the living room, and he looked back nervously. His Aniki had stood, the unopened curtains creating a backdrop that catered to the darkness around him.
"Aniki?" Sasuke uttered, a hitch in his voice when the man marched to the door and plastered his body in front of it like a bouncer at a club. "I'm not-"
"Where did you go?" Itachi's roughed up voice whispered. It held an odd edge as if the man was struggling to keep in a growl. Yet, instead of approaching Sasuke as he always did, the man chose to keep himself quite a distance apart from him as if wary of his own behavior.
Sasuke cocked his head. "I went to get groceries." He swallowed thickly when Itachi didn't respond. All he received in return was an indiscernible look, one that evoked a sense of dread inside that made Sasuke itch desperately to leave the room.
Finally, Itachi opened his mouth. "You didn't tell me." Contrary to how much devastation those words might have connoted, the low baritone of his Aniki's voice was nothing short of intimidating and downright scary.
"You were asleep," Sasuke found himself saying.
"In your bed with you."
"Yes."
Silence.
Then…
"Was it more important to get groceries so early in the morning, or did you not want to see my face?"
The words hung in the air as heavy as a pendulum swinging from its foundation. They slapped Sasuke in the face, causing him to flinch, and once he did, Itachi's gaze grew harsh.
"I feel like you've rejected me, Sasuke. Better yet, I consider it ghosting."
Sasuke's eyes blew wide open. "That's-"
"You couldn't just spend Sunday morning in bed with me? Do I revolt you that much?"
"A-Aniki, no, I have never once thought any of that." Sasuke reached his hand out toward Itachi, but dropped it immediately when Itachi stared at it scathingly. "I just-"
"Just don't need me anymore," Itachi snapped. "I know. I understood that part loud and clear. I thought you'd let me sleep in your bed with you last night because we were making up, but I guess I was wrong."
Sasuke's heart thudded in his chest. "L-last night," he said, lower lip between his teeth. "What do you remember about last night?"
Itachi's eyes narrowed, instantly suspicious. "Is there something I need to remember?"
"No," he said a little too quickly, and judging by the skeptical look painted all over Itachi's face, he wasn't buying it.
"You haven't answered my question," Itachi said with much less patience than he typically spared Sasuke.
Sasuke frowned. "Why do I have to answer any of your questions?" he mumbled petulantly, crossing his arms.
"On the basis that I am your legal guardian and your relationship with me has always been built on a foundation filled with love and care," Itachi grounded out. "Or at least I'd like to think so."
The boy winced at the accusatory tone.
"I know you're hiding something, Sasuke," Itachi stated in a low growl. "You only get defensive when you don't want me to know something."
"So what?" Sasuke rebutted with a scowl. "Is it really so important to know? You always want to know everything about me, but you never tell me anything about you."
A spark of surprise ignited behind the fury in Itachi's eyes. "What are you talking about? I'm always open with you."
"Liar!" Sasuke hissed. His feet carried him upstairs in quick, angry strides. One glance behind him, and unequivocally, his Aniki was hot on his heels. Sasuke swung open Itachi's bedroom door and made his way to the man's dresser just as Itachi reached the doorframe. With more dramatics than he intended, he pulled open the same drawer he did last night, rummaged underneath the pairs of pants, grasped onto the cylindrical, orange container, swiveled around, and tossed it at Itachi.
Despite the suddenness of having something thrown at him, Itachi caught the bottle with ease, his forehead creasing as a sense of unease blew past his features.
Sasuke's glare hardened. "You know how shitty it makes me feel when I find out that my Aniki needs to take sleeping pills in order to fall asleep? That bottle was dated last week, but almost half of it is already gone. How bad is it, huh? When did you start having insomnia? If you claim to be so open with me, why didn't you tell me?"
The frown that danced on his Aniki's lips, mixed with the confusion in his gaze, was one for the books. "You were rummaging through my things?"
"I- no. Of course not," Sasuke hissed. "Why would I do that without reason? You were sleepwalking last night and came into my room. You barely had any clothes on when you climbed into my bed" -understatement of the century- "so I went to grab you a pair of pants."
Itachi's brows furrowed as a sense of dawning brimmed along his features. "I was… sleepwalking?"
Sasuke's heart leapt in his throat as the white lie left his mouth. Well, it technically wasn't even a lie. It was the truth, except he omitted a few key details.
"I barged into your room last night and insisted on sleeping with you?"
Silently, the boy choked on his own tongue, looking away as his eyes teared up from holding back a cough. He took back what he said earlier. Now, that was the understatement of the century.
He nodded, alright it felt more like a jerky motion on his part.
"Did I… do anything that made you uncomfortable?"
"No," Sasuke wheezed out.
"Was this the first time?"
"How would I know?" Sasuke struggled to push those words out of his mouth.
He would. And he did know. Because every time his Aniki had his sleepwalking episodes, he came to find Sasuke. The boy pushed down the elation he felt in his chest when that thought crossed his mind.
Not the time, Sasuke. He tried to remind himself.
"So I guess my actions must have made you very uncomfortable since you ran the first chance you got. I'm sorry."
A protest bubbled in Sasuke's throat. "Aniki, that's not why! You- I just needed some time to think," he finished lamely. "The medicine came as a surprise to me, and I felt guilty that I didn't know you as well as I thought I did. You were suffering, but all I cared about was myself. I was ashamed."
"Otouto…"
Sasuke sniffled, chin dropping. "Why didn't you tell me you were having trouble? Is it because I'm not reliable? I know I'm just a kid, but that doesn't mean I can't be trusted," he mumbled.
When silence followed his spiel, Sasuke looked up at his Aniki, who stood frozen at the door frame. The man stared at him with such tortured, lamenting eyes that it intensified the pain the boy experienced in his chest.
"I'll tell you, Otouto," Itachi whispered. "If you really want to know, Aniki will tell you. I'll tell you anything you want to know. All you have to do is ask."
Sasuke couldn't suppress the sob that escaped him. How did his Aniki always make things seem so effortless with his words and actions, yet Sasuke remained a coward in the shadows? How was his Aniki able to be so open and honest, yet Sasuke was the complete opposite: a liar who took advantage of the kindest human being on the planet?
Oh yeah, it was because he was selfish. Unwilling to let go of the sliver of love he was able to get his hands on. The realization made him feel more fucked up than he already was.
"To be honest, I don't sleep well without you. I-" Itachi hesitated. "I… actually can't sleep if I'm not next to you."
For the first time in Sasuke's entire life that he could recall, the man averted his gaze. Briefly, but he had caught it.
Concern and confusion bled heavily in Sasuke's enlarged eyes. "What are you saying?" He was afraid to breathe lest he start freaking out.
A bitter, sad smile touched Itachi's lips. "I'm saying I can't fall asleep if you're not there, Otouto."
Sasuke's breath hitched. "S-since when?" he stuttered out.
If possible, the lingering sorrow on Itachi's lips grew. "Since I can remember."
"What are you saying?" Sasuke repeated with a croak. "What are you saying, Aniki?" More tears filled his eyes, creating a glittering effect.
Itachi's gaze was patient, off-puttingly so, as he approached the boy.
"Why are you crying, my dear Otouto?" Itachi murmured, the tips of his fingers brushing along Sasuke's cheekbone.
Sasuke exploded. "Are you an idiot?!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "If you can't sleep without me, why didn't you say anything?! Are you a glutton for punishment or something?!"
"Or something," Itachi murmured, eyes roaming fondly over Sasuke's features as he continuously brushed his tears away.
Sasuke felt his soul quiver underneath his Aniki's soft caresses, and never had he felt the urge more to vomit out all of his sinful confessions than in that very moment.