Ron the True Fan: We're back. And this time if Take screams, I have a solution! (Arms EVA phaser rifle) …It's on STUN.
Takeshi Yamato: Right. Let's just get this over with.
Roughly near what will be Celestic Town, Hisui Region - roughly 1500 Hours local time - Day 127 of the Hisuian Exile
Satoshi was clearly skilled in the art of woodland survival, but they did need a place to go. Volo, for some reason, insisted on going this way after learning of their… self-imposed exile.
Almost five months of knowing each other, Hikari decided enough was enough.
"Satoshi…" she said, making him stop to look at her. "I have something I need to say."
"We're a bit far from Jubelife, if you want to go back. We're all the way across the region." he said, sounding tired, yet pleased to be away.
She couldn't blame him.
"It's not that-" she started before they heard an older, feminine chuckle.
"Ara, a pair of young ones." said the voice, prompting them to move in a little closer to find an old woman, wearing a black dress and a black sun hat, with gray locks of hair and more then a few wrinkles. "You must be the ones my son sent here."
"Son?" Hikari asked while Satoshi just STARED.
"Ara, boyo. That's rude." the old woman said.
"At least I know what Cynthia's gonna look like in her seventies…" Satoshi muttered, Hikari being VERY confused, but not speaking of it.
Satoshi knew a lot of things and kept them a secret, but better to have him tell her on his own terms.
Of COURSE Volo's mom looked like Cynthia.
"My name is Cogita. Welcome to my humble abode." she said, smiling before looking directly at Ash. "Ara, ara, what a fine young man you are."
"Pika." "Please no." both Ash and Pikachu said as one. She was looking at them like Serena's libido looked at them.
And while Ash would CERTAINLY say that he would look at Serena and the others the same way he did now in their nineties, this was cradle robbing.
Nope. Absolutely NOT.
"Mother!" came a cry from Volo as he approached, backpack on his back. "I didn't invite them to stay here to have you-"
"Bed one of them?" asked the old woman, smiling somewhat. "He's just fine."
"I'm 15. TOO young for that." Ash protested. "And you're what, sixty, seventy?"
"Most men would be begging for a night with me." she said, much to Ash AND Hikari's disgust. "And asking my age is rude, boyo."
Ash turned this against her. "You're old enough to have your son be a grown man." he said, pointing at Volo. "I'm young enough to be his son. Not happening. We came here at your son's request. We can leave if either of you want us to."
"Pika." 'Sooner's better. Horny old lady's creeping me out.' Pikachu said.
"Well, at the rate that hole in the sky is expanding, you might not have anywhere to go." Cogita said. "I might be able to help you."
"I hope the price for your help isn't… horrifying." Ash said with both Hikari and him shuddering.
"Continuing to live is price enough." the old Cynthia said. "You will need the keys to bind the world-"
Ash knew EXACTLY what she was talking about. "No." he cut off. "You're talking about forging the Red Chain. I will not be party to the creation of something that would result in the enslavement of one or BOTH of the Creation Trio that frequent the world of the living on a regular basis!"
Cogita blinked. "…How would you know about that?" she asked. "Only our family has maintained those tales." she looked at her son. "And this fool wouldn't bother listening."
"I prefer visual stimulation, mother." Volo said.
"Mistress to you. I am still your teacher." the old woman retorted before looking to Ash. "How do you know?"
"Dealt with it before. It's how I know the names of the Creation Trio AND their master." ASh said bluntly. "So NOT FUCKING HAPPENING."
"It's the only way to close the rift." she insisted before smiling in a way that, if it came from Cynthia, it would be actually quite seductive.
Coming from someone in their 70s, though…
Ash picked up a pair of sticks and formed a cross. Maybe that would work.
"Satoshi, what are you-" Hikari asked before the sticks caught FIRE. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF ARCEUS?!"
"That happens." Cogita said bluntly, making both look at her before Ash dropped them, stamping on them to put them out.
"Pika." 'I think that's a sign we should consider her a threat equal to Cyrus.' Pikachu said, Ash agreeing with that.
"You will still have to speak to the Pokemon of the lakes." the old woman said. "Rest here and you can begin the long trek to the lakes. And I mean LONG. Even with a strong stead, it will take weeks to complete your pilgrimage."
Ash knew innuendo when he heard it. "Goodra or Natu?" he asked.
"Pi." 'BOTH.' Pikachu said.
Two hours later
With a massive threat to Satoshi's innocence at stake, Hikari went a LITTLE overboard on spiritual protections.
That said, see the last scene with the burning cross. It's not overkill if it's NECESSARY.
Cogita looked on with amusement as the tent Satoshi had set up had a LOT of ofuda strung around it. Then again, see the burning cross.
"Natu and Goodra are going to be keeping watch, Hikari." SAtoshi said as he watched her set up the paper talismans on the tent.
"Better to be sure to keep THIS demon away." the bluenette retorted. "She screams the death of hopes and dreams and she wants YOU."
The old woman snorted before she walked away, her son snorting in amusement. "You haven't changed at all." he said. "No wonder Father ran away. You're insatiable."
Satoshi turned to Hikari, color draining from his face. "You know, maybe I should get some salt." he said, Hikari raising an eyebrow at the comment. "…On second thought, Goodra would get hurt by that."
Lake Verity - Obsidian Fieldlands - Day 149 - roughly 1100 hours
Hisui was a massive region. And Ash wanted to avoid Jubelife, so they had to take a longer route.
And Hikari had clearly felt threatened by the old lady with a libido so uncontrolled not even Arceus could stop her.
There was a reason those sticks caught fire.
So to counteract the horny old lady, she became more proactive. Ash was not stupid nor blind. …But he was sort of needy.
He loved Dawn. Hikari WAS Dawn. So the only thing keeping him from declaring his love for her was…
He wasn't sure she would be with him. He had no reason to believe her disappearing from the past wouldn't alter the timeline.
Still…
"Satoshi!" called Adaman, up the road, along with Irida. The two apparently made peace in his absence.
…Or he scared them into making peace.
Either or. He did NOT care which.
"Well, if it isn't the shoguns." he said dryly, making both look at him with annoyance. "I know that's not the proper term. I'm in a bad mood and don't care."
"When AREN'T you in a bad mood?" Irida asked simply, hands on her hips. "I mean, annoyed seems to be your default mood."
"I have to go deal with the Lake Guardians. I DO NOT LIKE dealing with Legendary Pokemon." Ash retorted, getting looks of shock from them. "I KNOW they're gods. I'd like them to get out of my life for a few years and LET ME DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN DEAL WITH THEIR SHIT."
It took moments like this to remind people Ash was a broken, tired soul who had not known peace since he left his home so long ago, becoming the gods' whipping boy.
He wanted to take a year-long nap. Not like he hadn't earned it.
"...I don't believe we can argue with that." Adaman said after a moment. "Still, we came to help. Given your… distaste for the gods, one of us-"
Ash raised a hand to shut them up. "I will handle this on my own," he said. "I will not like it. I, in fact, am going to be fairly pissed off during this entire debacle. But I WILL do it."
Enraged resignation. He hated it. But what could he do?
"I'm going with you." Hikari said adamantly. "It's… well… my duty. I am your betrothed."
"You have ZERO obligation to go with me." Ash stressed, both leaders gawking at the declaration from Hikari.
"I love you, you fool!" Hikari shouted, prompting more staring as she began to cry. "That's obligation enough!"
…Damn her for making the declaration AND DAMN HER ALL THE MORE FOR HAVING A POINT!
Before he could fully process this, Hikari embraced and kissed him, Irida looking shocked and disappointed while Adaman smirked, fully supporting this.
Pikachu nodded smugly… before Hikari forced Ash's hands to her not-exactly-small butt. His reaction to that was to widen his eyes to the point of nearly popping them out of his head.
"Pika!" 'YES! Claim this timeline's Dawn, brother!' Pikachu declared, punching the air.
Hikari broke off the kiss, smiling. "I'm not leaving you to do this alone." she declared, Irida glaring as she wished Ash was her betrothed instead to inspire such love. (No, this DOESN'T have any bearing on Serena's disposition. Get that through your heads.)
"…We'll go deal with the Commander." Adaman said, now feeling awkward and quickly walking away.
"Y-yes, keeping him distracted now that you're unable to help us is a good idea!" the Pearl clan leader said before rushing off.
Hikari smiled. "Now I see why my sister enjoys it so much." she said. The look on Ash's face was PRICELESS. "Not yet, though."
…She was crazy.
All the girls Ash loved were crazy. …and he couldn't bring himself to hate it.
Verity Cavern - 90 minutes later
The Goodra wisely stepped aside, the iron shell clanging as he did so.
Why?
He knew better then to fight the Chosen of Arceus. After all, Ash wanted to talk to Mespirit, his 'sister' for lack of a better term, he had every right to.
"Get out here, lake fairy!" Ash demanded. "I know you're here, you might as well show yourself!"
Hikari STARED at him for a moment before the twin-tailed, quad-'dreadlocked' psychic-type appeared.
'I am not a fairy.' she 'pathed to the low-on-patience, high-on-resentment trainer. '…By the Creator, what in the HELL happened to you? I know you are never given a full cycle through the reincarnation process, but this is beyond anything I've seen.'
"My life sucks, that's what happened." Ash retorted, Hikari looking at him with shock and horror at his casual address to a literal GOD. "Look, the huge rift? It needs to be closed. But someone, someone less EXPERIENCED in this crap, said I need the Red Chain. You can see the problem."
'Yes, I can see it in your mind. And you went into the Distortion Realm.' the Emotion Pokemon said, wincing. '…I will have to bring this up with Arceus.'
"GOOD! Tell the god-llama to actually start DOING HIS JOB!" Ash shouted, on the cusp of breaking down and crying. "Tell him to start making sure this shit never happens again, to prove he actually GIVES A DAMN about us and to keep people from doing STUPID SHIT!"
Mespirit slowly nodded before disappearing…leaving behind a crystalline feather that floated into his hand.
"A… plume?" Hikari asked. Ash's face turned red with rage.
"TAKE THE DAMN THING WITH YOU! I AM NOT FORGING THE FUCKING CHAIN!" he bellowed.
Considering the chain was used to bind Palkia and Dialga and led to the destruction of the universe, one cannot blame him for wanting nothing to do with it.
Lake Valor - Day 175
The staring contest between Azelf and Satoshi was legendary.
Then again, god of willpower versus… Satoshi. It had gone on for hours. The reason, of course, was obvious.
"I am not forging it." he said, refusing to blink as he tossed a small tooth away from him.
Hikari was watching, learning that the gods just…sat. Sure, Satoshi knew their roles and when they set up shop, they were important for the local area, but he had a loathing of inactive gods.
…Which was ALL of them, really.
'You have little choice, brother.' Azelf said. "Palkia and Dialga are making the rift's situation worse.'
"Oh, that's easy to deal with: I TELL THEM TO STOP!" Satoshi snapped. "I do not, cannot and WILL NOT make the Red Chain. I will not subjugate them to my will."
'Admirable, but you may have no choice.' said the legendary. 'If diplomacy fails-'
"I KNOW." Satoshi cut off. "But I don't WANT to. And I SHOULDN'T have to."
'And I sympathize. But you may have to do what must be done.' said the willpower Pokemon before disappearing, the fang landing in his hand.
"You have a LOT of secrets." she said. An understatement, but a necessary one. After all… he didn't want to parade his past to anyone.
Satoshi looked at her, eyes red from lack of rest and from nearly breaking.
"I want to go home." he said simply, tired. Hikari put an arm around him to guide him out of the cave.
"Can I go with you?" she asked. "You…need me."
Satoshi's head hung low at that as they walked out, Volo waiting outside, playing with a pair of Gibles.
"Satoshi-kun!" he said before noticing his depressed state. "That bad?" The Gibles walked up to him, staring at his head.
Hikari had learned that Gibles HATED sadness. There was only one way in their eyes to make sad people happy. Problem was, Satoshi's head was only big enough for one of them.
"I hate do-nothing gods." he said. "If there's a big universe-ending threat, it shouldn't be humans dealing with it. They're supposed to be protectors of reality itself. So why don't they DO anything?"
Volo nodded in agreement. "Perhaps you can ask Arceus when you meet him." he said, smiling.
Diary of Adaman
Satoshi worries me. What happens if this… whatever-it-is is forged?
At least we're not dealing with that old woman. …But what was with the Gibles?
Ron the True Fan: That's right, folks. Cogita, mother of Volo. And my response to people asking for me to add HER to the list. …She's 70. He's 15. NO. Never ask this again. (Pulls out flamethrower) EVER.
Takeshi Yamato: (Primes Metal Attacker SOPHIA ZERO) LISTEN TO RON. The age gap is much too large. Hell, even Ash/CYNTHIA is too much of a gap.
Ron the True Fan: Cynthia is in her early-to-mid-30s or early 40s. TWICE his age. It needs to stop. And if I have to be the first to call it out, I WILL.
Ja Ne!