Summary:
Donna receives bad news at her doctor's visit. She has a hard time letting Harvey know.
A/N:
Prompt provided by Sanaa: Darvey, "maybe we should get a divorce."
(make me cry)
Whenever I write angst/sad/hurt or comfort it takes a lot out of me. But also I just love it. But I also love adding a happy ending.
Trigger warning:
talk of medical diagnosis
Tears ran down her face as the words the doctor spoke repeated themselves over and over in her head.
She had gone in for a normal check-up and nothing could have prepared her for the series of events that happened next.
Tests.
Blood work.
More tests.
That dreaded word.
She had tried to call Harvey and let him know what was going on, but he was in court all day—and this wasn't something she could just text him.
The conversation would have to wait until the evening.
Maybe by then she'd have a clear head.
Being alone all afternoon proved to be the worst thing she could have done. Her thoughts ran wild, thinking of all the terrible things that could happen to her.
The treatments. The side effects, the surgery—that wasn't part of the deal.
Sure, the vows they recited mention sickness and health, but no one really means that, do they?
Just then she heard the front door open and the familiar sound of Harvey's confident stride filled the quiet apartment.
"Donna, you should have seen that prosecutor's face when I stood up and gave my—"
He didn't finish.
Instead, a worried what's wrong? spilled out of his mouth and his accomplished grin quickly turned into a frown at the sight of her.
She was sitting on the couch, her legs bent up to her chest. She knew she probably looked like a total wreck. She'd been crying all day.
She couldn't even hide it from him if she tried.
Harvey rushed over, kneeling in front of her. She avoided his eye contact because she knew it would only make what she had to say that much harder.
"Donna. Look at me," he said gently. Placing his hands on her knees.
She shook her head and said, "No, Harvey. I can't.
More tears.
"Shit Donna. Please, you're scaring me."
Before she could stop herself, she said the first thing that popped into her head—the thing that would save him from months of possible anguish and possibly much worse.
"This isn't working. Maybe we should get a divorce."
She had never, ever threatened divorce. Neither one of them had. When they married, they were both so ready and had been through so much that being apart was never going to be an option.
Ever. Until now.
So naturally, when she said it, Harvey stood, his body rigid, a look of sheer horror across his face.
"What did you just say to me?"
She couldn't even repeat it because she knew it was wrong. But it was either that or Harvey watching the love of his life suffer, or worse—
She shook her head at her intrusive thoughts and at his question.
"No, Harvey, leave me alone! Please."
It was all cry out to him. But she really wanted him to stay and hold her.
More tears.
Harvey sighed loudly. "Donna Roberta Paulsen-Specter, look at me. If you're going to throw the D word around, then you better goddamn look at me when you say it."
His tone wasn't harsh—it was direct. She looked up, and when her eyes locked on his big brown orbs, a torrent of tears streamed down her face.
"Oh Harvey! I'm so sorry; I didn't mean it!
She blurted her words out through a series of sobs and sniffles and her whole body started to shake.
"I'm so sorry; please don't hate me!" She cried out.
"Donna, stop. I could never, in a million years, hate you. Never ." He said calmly with so much love in his tone.
He sat down next to her and opened his arms. "Come here."
She did exactly that. Her entire body fit inside his arms and she cried some more. She didn't even think she had any tears left in her, but her body wasn't done mourning.
She needed this. And Harvey was being so patient with her.
For a moment, all she heard were her cries and Harvey whispering soft, comforting words into her ear. When she finally stopped. Her body lay limp in his lap.
Harvey spoke into the stillness. "Tell me what's going on."
"I'm sorry, Harvey; I knew you were in court all day—and it all happened so fast."
She sat up. Taking his hand in hers, she continued, "I went to the doctor. They found something. And I thought maybe I'd give you a way out. It's—"
She could tell he was processing the information. His chocolate brown eyes were watering from the words he heard and the ones he didn't.
He nodded in understanding at the unspoken .
Then, without hesitation, "I will never leave you. However bad it is, we face it together. You understand?"
Donna nodded and she was suddenly aware that there wasn't anything they couldn't get through, as long as they were together.