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Mrs. J.K., we love the playground, we love the puppets, we just want them to do things differently, for free of course.

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Hermione sighed, "I am not even mad that you are joking about that, Harry. I am enjoying this hug as much as you do, your hands on my bum included."

"That is sad, isn't it? We are two lonely souls craving human touch. The Boy Who Got Abused with the Lonely Genius Girl." I started to rub her bum and her back, "Well, let us enjoy our hugs, Hermione, I want to hug you as long as you want me to, and girl, your ass feels great."

3 Benefits.

"Less joking, and more hugging, Harry," was her answer while she pressed her body closer to mine. OK… now I am starting to have a stiff problem, a very uncomfortable one. Little Dude, as that old Guy called him in his stories, raised his head, or at least he tried to. When Little Dude is pumping blood, I always have to adjust his position or he is forced to look down instead of up if you know what I mean.

That is quite hard to do with a girl pressed against it… Must... Endure… Crap! He is going to blow! Months of inaction put a lot of pressure behind it and rubbing Hermione's ass is going to set it off! I better warn her.

I groaned, "Hermione? We better stop now, before I shoot a load in my boxers. It feels too good."

Hermione froze up with my comment and became aware of what her groin was pressing against. We parted and I managed to get Little Dude in a more comfortable position.

"You were getting off by hugging me, Harry?" she asked with a blush and a strange expression on her face.

I sighed and tried to explain myself, "Hermione, first of all, you are incredibly hot and sexy, and it has been more than a month since I masturbated or had a wet dream. Of course, it was ready to blow with your hug."

Hermione smiled mischievously and hugged me again, "Why don't we finish it then? It is kind of exciting to know I can let you cum with just a hug."

...I did not expect that from her, Hermione was dry-humping me! She's grinding her pussy against Little Dude! I came back to my senses and counter-attacked, one hand went to her bum and started groping it, the other got daring and moved up to boob country. Hermione started moaning with that double attack, I let my lips wander on her ear and neck to set her on fire too, that combination made us both go over the top.

Panting, we kept on hugging, finally Hermione softly said, "I did not expect to get off too, it's been a long time for me too. Thank you, Harry."

"No, I have to thank you, Hermione, you can come and hug me whenever you want," I smiled, "whenever your body needs another hug, come to me, hot pants," I said while I was still fondling her bum.

She looked at me and asked, "What does it mean for us? Ginny's contract is getting canceled, but what about your contract with Susan?"

I tried to answer as honestly as possible, "I told you I have not a clue what to do with relationships, Hermione. This happened and it felt fantastic. I want to do this again and more, but frankly, I don't know that what I feel is lust or love. Susan? I do not really know her, I have to know what she thinks first. What do you think of our situation, Hermione? What do you think about Weasley? "

Hermione sighed, "I am not an expert in relationships either, Harry. I was alone at my elementary school, we were isolated at Hogwarts. I know I am bossy and clingy, mostly I'm afraid to lose the only friends I ever had. Ron? I think he knew about the contract, some of his actions make more sense that way. I trusted Dumbledore when he told me not to write, I thought he knew how to handle friends and that you needed space to deal with it. I am sorry Harry, but I am just as inexperienced as you."

Hermione hugged me tighter and softly said, "What happened just now was an impulse I got while I was flattered by getting you aroused by my hug. To have your arms around me, touching me all over, knowing that you came from my hug, it felt so good, I want to feel that again. But I don't want to lose our friendship over it, you are too important to me. Can we be friends and sometimes get a hug?"

Hmm? Is this the Friends with Benefits deal? I'd better ask, "Hermione? Hugs, like friends with benefits? Staying friends but taking care of our needs? I agree to that if it is what you want."

Hermione nodded, "We better take it slow, Harry, we are inexperienced with relationships, and I don't want to lose you as a friend. I am going to take a shower, and see if there is something to eat."

We broke apart, I said, "I need a shower too, I think Dobby will get us something to eat after in the kitchen."

Hermione left to her room while I took a shower in mine, still confused about what happened, we gave each other a dry hump? We are going to be friends with benefits? How can that happen so fast? My mindset is different now that I know what is happening and about to happen in my life. That and the Fan Fiction Stories from the Old Guy and his colleagues. All those different ways to solve my problems, a lot of them impossible though. Why in Merlin's name would I shag that greasy Bat?

Ron Who? Meh, forget that jealous git, he always ran off at the moments I needed him, Hermione could be bossy sometimes but by the way I was acting, she needed to be bossy to get things done. Most of all, she stayed by my side! No matter how dangerous the situation, she was there for me through the years. Plus that was an awesome dry hump! In some of the stories, Ron was crushing over me...

Shuddering at the thought I dried myself and got in my Pj's. I went downstairs and entered the kitchen, Sirius, Lupin, and Tonks were sitting at the table and looked up when I entered the room.

"Hungry, Pup?" asked Sirius, "I must say Dobby is a good cook."

I nodded, "A happy elf is worth ten unhappy ones, Sirius. I like to meet Uncle Kreacher. Is he the Black Elf for this house?"

"Kreacher is a nasty piece of work, he hates me, and frankly I can't stand the sight of him," said Sirius with a frown.

I shook my head and said, "Then you are setting yourself up to get hurt, Sirius. Do you know who Dobby's old Master was? It was Lucius Malfoy, Sirius. In my second year, Malfoy was planning to get a student possessed by Voldy, and Dobby did all he could to save me. Why? Because he was abused by Malfoy and hated him. Does that sound familiar, Sirius?"

Tonks said, "A House that Elf betrays his Master and Family? That is unheard of!"

I pointed my finger at Sirius, "Every creature needs to be wanted and cared for, treat it bad and it will return the favor. Make peace with Kreacher, Sirius or he will search for affection with Narcissa, the last proper Black. Talk to him, why do you hate each other?"

Surprised with my comment, Sirius explained, "Mother ordered Kreacher to punish me when I misbehaved, he seemed to love punishing me, so I started to hate him. Regulus was his favorite and I was the one that got beat up."

I sighed, "Your Mother was at fault, Sirius, not Kreacher, he followed orders and was rewarded for it with affection from his Mistress, Regulus probably was your Mother's favorite, so Kreacher loved him too. Talk to him, find common ground, or he will sell you out to Malfoy. Maybe now that Dobby is here he will soften up."

Sirius called out, "Kreacher? Did you hear our conversation?"

Kreacher popped next to me, "Kreacher heard, disappointing son of Mistress."

I held my hand up to stop the insults, "Uncle Kreacher, you heard why your Master doesn't like you. Ask Dobby if he liked it to get beaten by the Malfoy's. Sirius was wrong to hate you for following your Mistress orders, and you are wrong to hate one of your family. Most of all, your Mistress was wrong by hating her own kin. Do you hate Dobby?"

Sirius, Lupin, and Tonks were watching me turn Kreacher to the Light… or the Dark Side, that depends. That moment Hermione entered the kitchen in her nightgown and bathrobe, when she sat next to me, a plate with food appeared.

Meh, why don't we go for the kill, "Kreacher? You loved Regulus, do you know what happened to him? Tell us about him."

That started the sob story of Master Reggy and the Cave of Horrors, failing to get Reggy out of the cave and watching him dragged underwater brought tears to everyone's eyes.

Wiping his tears away, Sirius finally said, "Reggy turned on Voldemort in the end, he died as a good man. Kreacher, can you bring that locket here? I will see to it that it gets destroyed."

Kreacher popped away to get the locket and came back with it. I commented, "This locket feels the same as that Diary from Tom. Do you perhaps have any Basilisk venom in the house? I stabbed that Diary with a tooth from the Basilisk."

Hermione asked, "Why don't we use acids from the muggle world? There are a lot of acids available that dissolve metals, I read that Aqua Regia even dissolves Gold and other precious metals."

I suggested, "Perhaps let the Goblins remove that piece of Soul, that will keep that locket in one piece."

Sirius swore when he felt the influence of the locket grab hold of him, "I want that locket destroyed, I don't care if it is an heirloom or not. Even when it is from Merlin, I want it destroyed, that thing caused my brother to die. Kreacher put that locket in the Anti-Magic Dungeon for now."

I looked at Lupin, "Go shopping tomorrow, Lupin, and it is time for you to decide which side of the fence you are on. Mine or Dumbledore's, you can not have it both ways."

"What do you mean, Harry?" Asked Lupin, "Aren't we all on the same side?"

I looked at Lupin, "Are you serious? Yes, I know the pun, but let me ask you, after everything you heard today, you still think Dumbledore farts rainbows?" I sighed, "Tell me Lupin, did you swear loyalty to Dumbledore? Did you take an oath or signed a contract? You clearly lost your free will."

Lupin glared at me, "I don't need those to be loyal to the man that gave me a future, Harry! If not for him I would never be a wizard."

I snapped back, "Yes, he gave you a future, do you like your job? Oh, you don't have one! Lupin, tell me, how many werewolves received a future from Dumbledore? How many werewolves got to howl in the shrieking shack? Dumbledore only needed One grateful dog, Lupin, the rest could sod off. Well? Is he still your Hero?"

Sirius commented, "That is right, Remus, you were the only werewolf at Hogwarts, Fenrir Greyback turned a lot of kids before and after you, why didn't they go to Hogwarts? I bet you knew some of them."

Lupin did not know what to say, so I piled on, "Tell me Lupin, you are a teacher, how many werewolves have you taught? Did you teach werewolf kids in all those years you graduated? Why NOT? Because Dumbledore told you so, isn't it Lupin?"

Lupin swallowed, "He said they would revolt and harm people even more if I taught them Magic."

I nodded, "You are a worthless piece of shit, are you? Tonks? Can you go shopping for Acids with Hermione tomorrow?"

Going on Tonk's facial expression, the chances for a Teddy Lupin are dropping from Slim to None. That Old Guy had a lot of issues with Lupin, the major one was why he never even tried to visit me once. Dumbledore said I was fine and that was enough for the wolf. Tonks has to find another man, not me though, she is bloody old! Six years older than me! Why they wanted me to hook up with her in those stories I don't know, or Fleur, another impossible relationship. Do they think it will work? The princess with the boy from under the stairs? I can hardly handle Hermione. Although... maybe it won't hurt to try... Nah.

Tonks nodded, "I will, Harry. Shacklebolt set everything in motion to get you off for that Patronus with Vance. Moody is talking to Madam Bones right now, expect a visit from Moody tomorrow, Madam Bones can't come here, the fidelius is managed by Dumbledore."

Sirius thought of something, "How did you know about this House, Harry?"

I shrugged, "I will tell you when we are alone, Sirius, Dumbledore doesn't need to know this."

Hermione said, "I can't believe he stole thirteen million Galleons from Harry, five loans did not pay one knut after his parents died, he let people live for free in Harry's properties. In the normal world that is more than twenty years in prison, Morgana knows what else he did to Harry."

I finished my plate and stood up, "I am off to bed, I'll worry about the rest tomorrow. Goodnight everyone."

Fifteen minutes later, Hermione came into the room, "Harry? Can I get another hug? A normal one."

I lifted the sheets and said, "Get in Hermione, I want to try snuggling."

Xxxxx

We woke up when we heard Sirius clearing his throat, "I hope you used protection, I am too young to be an Grand Uncle. Get dressed, pup, we have visitors."

I groaned, "Nothing happened, Sirius. We will be down in twenty minutes."

When Sirius left, I sighed, "This is the first night without nightmares, I hope Sirius can shut up about it."

Hermione was still spooning at my back, "I had a good night too, Harry, we better get up."

"And take a cold shower," I added.

Hermione stretched out and said, "Yes, I need one too." she went to her room.

I looked at Little Dude, "It's just you and me, pall."

Xxxxx

Twenty minutes later we met the visitors, Moody, Shacklebolt, Vance, and Jones.

Moody started the conversation while I had my breakfast, "I visited Amelia at home, she already read the bank reports and the Contracts. She wants to meet you as soon as possible. I also told her about Sirius and the Dementors."

Shacklebolt said, "We investigated the whereabouts of the Dementors from two days ago and if some went missing. Not one left Azkaban, so it had to be from the Ministry. Four Dementors are stationed at the Ministry, we will sort out today which two went outside the Ministry."

Vance told me, "I saw some of those memories last night, Potter. I must say that you had a shitty life. Enough to bring your relatives before the Wizengamot. I have to show the resurrection of You Know Who to Madam Bones today, arresting those Death Eaters is above my paycheck. It will not work with memories alone, there are too many cases where memories were being staged with polyjuiced people. the Court will not accept that as evidence."

Jones reported, "I went through the records from November 81 to New Year. There was no trace of a trial of Sirius Black, in the Hall of evidence I only found a box with his wand and a transfer order to Azkaban signed by Bagnold, Crouch, and Dumbledore on the third of November, the day Sirius got arrested."

I asked, "What is the plan?"

Moody said, "A visit to Bones Manor in two minutes. While the others investigate the rest."

"I need assistance with those memories," said Vance, "there are too many things wrong with them, and we have to find a way to make them work for us."

Moody answered, "I will let the boy make new copies and show them to Amelia, she will decide what to do."

Xxxxx

I hate side-along apparating, it feels like you are one of those cartoon figures from the Loony Tunes that got stretched out and dragged through a small tube. I lost my breakfast over it.

Chuckling, Moody vanished the vomit, "You will get used to it, Potter. It is not that bad when you do it yourself."

I said nothing, just glared at him. Then I looked around, we were in the middle of nowhere at the side of a dirt road and a fence.

I asked, "Is there a secret code or action that we have to do to get in or are you going to kill me and bury me here in the middle of nowhere?"

"Smart ass, grumbled Moody, here read this," he told me when he handed me a slip of paper.

I read the phrase, Bones Manor is located at Stone Circle in Yelverton. Once it clicked in my mind, the fence turned into something fancy and a big building appeared behind it.

"Follow me, Potter," said Moody and walked through the gate.

An Elf waited for us at the door, "Mistress Amy be waiting for yous in the parlor, Moody eye."

Moody nodded and went to the parlor, whatever a parlor is. He opened a door and entered, inside were Susan and Aunty Bones, it is obvious they are related, both have a huge rack, ah, Hannah is here too, what a surprise.

On the table was the stack of papers I owled them, I felt three gazes on me, studying me. For me, I was in my muggle disguise, black jeans, a white t-shirt, some sneakers, and my Holy Wand in my holster on my arm. We were ready to start the conversation when we sat down and had a cup of tea.

"As you can see, I got the boy, with me, Amelia," said Moody

Madam Bones nodded, and opened the conversation, "Welcome to Bones Manor, Mr. Potter. I must say you surprised Susan and me with what you owled to us. We read it through and noticed all the laws Dumbledore broke as your Magical Guardian. Yesterday, Dumbledore contacted me to transfer the Guardianship to me, no doubt forced by you. The question is, what do you want from me? What do you expect from Susan?"

"Do you have a Pensieve, Madam Bones? That will go faster." I said,

Repeating everything is getting tiresome, and the Old Guy used it a lot in his stories, I might as well do the same. The Bones Pensieve appeared, the table was set aside and we gathered around it.

"Three memories from my life at the Dursleys to indicate how I grew up," I said when I deposited the first memory in the bowl. I bet Susan and Hannah expected a castle, a six-year-old awoken by Petunia from his cupboard and ordered to cook breakfast cured that. My first day at school where I told the teacher my name was Freak or Boy was the second memory. And the beating from Vernon when I had a better report than his fat ass son was the last one.

Next was a lawn filled with owls that carried letters from Hogwarts, clearly breaking the statute of secrecy. Hogwarts! The Troll, detention in the forest, Quirrel at the mirror, were enough for the first year.

The second year was nice too, the cake at my relatives, the cat flap and the rescue from my prison, watching Colin Creevy brought in the hospital wing while I was regrowing the bones in my arms, which made the two badgers blush. I skipped much and showed Hagrid's arrest, followed by the trip to Aragog. The badgers were screaming their lungs out when they saw us surrounded by acromantula.

I smiled sadly, "It gets worse," and showed the Basilisk from Fraudster to stabbing the Diary.

We paused for lunch, the two badgers were shaken up, that was not how they remembered Hogwarts! Even Moody was mad out of his mind, silently selecting the spells he was going to cast on Dumbledore. After lunch, Madam Bones took some time to give orders, probably to cull a huge acromantula nest.

I took a stroll in the garden with Susan and Hanna. Susan asked timidly, "What do you feel about the marriage contract, Harry?"

I shrugged, "I honestly don't know, Miss Susan, you saw where I grew up, you saw what my life at Hogwarts was all about, do you think I have a clue how to handle relationships? Ron Weasley was an ass hired to keep me stupid, and Hermione is a lonely soul just like me, she was bullied at her elementary school just as much as me. I went to Gringotts to get money for new clothes and to search for a way to escape from my relatives. I never expected to find two marriage contracts. How do you feel about it? Did you know of our contract?"

Susan shook her head, "No, Aunty told me I was free to choose who I want to marry. In a way she was right, that contract could be canceled from both sides, so if I fall in love with another I would cancel it. To be honest Harry, nobody is good at relationships, although you have it worse than us. Our world is small and having an Aunt in a high position in the Ministry is getting me a lot of social climbers or leeches that want the Bones fortune."

She shrugged, "In a way that contract came as a relief, I don't have to wonder why you came after me, for my money, my aunt's connections, or my boobs."

With that last comment, she pointed at her tits, I smiled, "Without the contract, Miss Susan, I would say for your boobs. You have to admit, you have a nice set. No, I would not even know how to approach you, those boobs would intimidate me and make me insecure. I am not exactly Mr. Perfect, I am too skinny and small."

Hannah commented, "Without viewing those memories I would say you could have your pick from all the girls at Hogwarts just with your fame as the Boy Who Lived. Now… you have a lot of emotional baggage, Potter. Being your wife will not be an easy job. I say visit St Mungo's to correct your body, lack of food is stunting your growth, and your relatives starved you for years. Mum is a healer I can ask her to have a look."

Susan added, "A visit to a mind healer will help too, I had some visits myself to cope with some issues," she said while she looked down at her tits.

Xxxxx

We continued The Life Of Potter, I showed why I blew Aunt Marge up, the Dementor on the train, at the quidditch match, Sirius in the shack with Peter, the time turner, and chasing a hundred Dementors away from me and Sirius. To end the third year, the conversation with Fudge in the hospital wing.

In the fourth year, I skipped over a lot, they saw the tasks so that was nothing new, I went straight to the third task, Cedric at the Cup, and the portkey to the Riddle graveyard. It was chilling to see that again, that ugly thing stepping out of his cauldron, his butt kissers, and my duel… if you can call it that, he was toying with me, like a cat with a mouse. The shiny cage with the shades and my escape with Cedric's body made the girls cry. The interrogation of Crouch Junior ended fourth-year drama.

My last memory was the Dementor attack, how I saved myself by forcing my head down and casting my Patronus, saving fat ass too. I commented, "I have to confess I did underage Magic when I disarmed Dumbledore to question him about his abuse, the marriage contract with Ginny Weasley, and his stealing of my fortune. Here is my wand, check it out. I bet whoever sent those Dementors at me will probably trick me, by turning that hearing into a spectacle."

When Madam Bones stored the last Memory and tagged it, she said, "There will be no hearing, Mr. Potter. How can I reach you? Where do you live now?"

I smiled, "I live with my sworn Godfather Lord Sirius Black, Madam Bones, we live at Grimmauld Place Twelve in London."

Moody was upset, "How can you say that, Potter? Only the secret keeper can say that address out loud. How is it possible that you can be a secret keeper too?"

I shrugged, "Maybe I am destined? That is what Dumbledore is telling everyone isn't it?"

Madam Bones commented, "The Wizengamot will not accept Memories, but I will show them to most of the members to convince them of the severity of the situation. A basilisk can not be polyjuiced, nor a nest of Acromantula or Dementors. With those cases, we can show them in Court as evidence. The memories of your home life could not be fabricated, it will be enough to get Dumbledore in trouble."

I asked, "Could you let a team investigate that house and wards to find out if my relatives' behavior was theirs or forced with spells?"

A lot of those Fan Fictions mentioned hate wards or enchanted items in the house, even Old Guy used that argument. You have to be serious assholes to abuse a kid that way.

Susan asked, "Harry? Can we come over for a visit?"

"I would like that, Miss Susan, you can call on my House Elf Dobby, he will transport you to the house. You are welcome too, Miss Hannah." was my answer.

Xxxxx

Back home, Moody threw a little tantrum, "Black! That Godson of yours is a secret keeper for this house too! That should be impossible. Not only that, I spent a whole day viewing his memories, even I am going to have nightmares about it."

He turned to me, "Tomorrow I will escort you to St. Mungo's boy to set you straight."

He turned and left the house. I looked at Sirius and asked, "I told Susan Bones and Hannah Abbot they could visit here. Dobby will pop them here and back. Is that alright with you, Sirius?"

Sirius grinned, "Two at once? You move fast, Harry. So… The tally is on three now?"

I sighed, "Yeah, Sirius, I am a real Incubus, a male Veela. I trained for ten years in my cupboard to learn all that. Petunia and Vernon were my role models."

Hermione hugged me, "No matter what, I'll stay your friend, Harry."

Sirius got serious, "Sorry, Pup, humor, sarcasm, and irony are defense mechanisms to cope with bad situations if you are powerless to do something about it, I used that a lot. I noticed you are using it too."

Hermione asked, "How was your day, Harry? Ours was a success. That locket is destroyed. Kreacher is a lot more friendly after we let him dip the locket in the acid."

I answered, "We spent the day in a Pensieve and viewed my memories. Sirius, the snog on sight will be canceled, the hearing will not happen, and Madam Bones will be my Magical Guardian from now on. Susan and Hannah are nice, we talked about our issues of the second year and fourth year out. Most of them did not know half of what we went through at Hogwarts."

Xxxxx

At dinner, Tonks reported their progress, "The Kiss on Sight was revoked, and the hearing was canceled. Whoever set those Dementors on you did a good job covering up. Madam Bones will arrange a trial for you Sirius. Oh, Vance is on a warpath, she spoke with an unspeakable about the possibility that there is a prophecy between you and Voldy… don't laugh, Sirius! Do you know how hard it is to say that name when your whole life he is used to scare me to bed?"

Hermione and I spent the hours before bedtime studying, from first year til fourth, I missed a lot of details, especially with potions, Sirius showed us old course books, the difference was huge, it was as if all the important information was erased from our coursebooks.

I said to Hermione, "I will never call Snape a professor again. That snake is preventing us from learning something. And Dumbledore is protecting him."

Hermione sighed, "I hate to admit it, but you are right. That man can not teach at all, I just noticed that those books are for Potion Apprentices, they don't need to read beginner techniques, these books are for people that know how to prepare the ingredients and how or when to stir."

When we closed our books for the night, Hermione asked, "Are you and Susan getting together? Dating?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, Hermione, I guess we will try to be friends first, oh that reminds me, Dobby? If you hear Susan Bones or Hannah Abbot call for you, can you bring them here, please? I think you know them, they are Hufflepuffs from our year."

Dobby eagerly nodded, "Dobby knows them, Puffies come a lot in the kitchen for a snack. Miss Suzy and Miss Hanni. Dobby knows."

"And? How do you like your new Job? How is working with your uncle?" I asked Dobby.

"Uncle Kreacher is happy now, evil locket was hurting Uncle. Mistress Hermy helped Uncle a lot." was Dobby happy to answer.

An hour later, I knocked on Hermione's door, when she called to enter I went into her room, without a word, she lifted the sheets to let me in bed next to her. I love the benefits.