Dis: FUCK YOU, YOU MOTHER-
Claimer: MINE!
Oscar: FILTH!
Trolls: GNOMES!
Roy: CHEESEBURGER!
Wallace: CHEESE!
Cow: MOO!
Darth Vader: NOOOO!
King Harkinian: DINNER!
Joel: GRAND DAD? FLINTSTONES!?
Nozomi: TODOKETE!
Fat Mario: TOAST!
Gay Luigi: SPAGHETTI!
Mama Luigi: MAMA LUIGI!
Wonka: CRICKETS!
Mewlon: NUUUUUUS!
Scott: D'OH!
Waluigi: WAH!
Robotnik: PINGAS!
Morshu: MMMMM!
CDI Ganon: DIE!
Disclaimer: FOR GOD'S SAKES, ALL OF YOU SHUT UPPP! (breathes rapidly, faints)
"You know it's kind of like a game at this point to see this list pop up," Yoshi spoke while doing taxes in his kart.
"Ooh, that sounds fun, but only if it involves cheesecake!" Pichu giggled.
"Pah, just give me friggin' lettuce and I'll be happy." Peppy Ankylosaurus yawned.
"...I don't even remember what I was doing here..." Clario contemplated.
"Is it just me or do a lot of people like dressing up like that carpenter?" Birdo questioned
"I thought he was suppose to be a pesky plumber." Boshi
"I can be pesky! Oh wait, is that suppose to be bad?" Zirdo
"It can't be worse than having to see this stupid bunch of names pop up time and again," Heppy
"This listing reminds me, I have to tell my soccer team that I won't make it!" Bronto
"Oh yeah, I forgot that you actually did those." Shelia
"What the hell is with the author notes?" Mario
"Bro, I wish I knew, but then that would be opening up a whole other can of worms... or is it the bagel?" Luigi
"Yeesh, did the race even start?" Sonic
"I hope so, cuz I gotta fart!" Amy yelped, feeling a cute little poot emerge from her.
"Damn, and I thought things couldn't get stupider." Shadow
"At least we don't have to look for emerald shards." Knuckles brought up.
"You say that like it's a bad thing." Rouge chuckled.
"Just remember, I love you!" Barney the Dinosaur
"Am I the only 1 who thinks having us race around like this ridiculous?" Vector
"Trust me you're not the only one here..." Espio
"I wanna pee!" Charmy screamed.
"We're pointless clones of Pichu!" Tomo-chan and Darth Fade-R stated in unison.
"I'm just happy to be with my pollywag pal!" Big the Cat stated as he was tightly hugging Froggy, who was not enjoying this.
"You do realize that my Kaptain and Baron K. Roolenstein personas are not actually my brothers in light of bad localization, right?" King K. Rool pointed out.
"I could have sworn we've been in a race like this," Banjo
"I'm positive it's just you dreaming like you always do," Kazooie
"I just wonder where the others went." Pikachu
"Ooh, I'm getting hungry!" May exclaimed above her stomach growling.
"And I need a bathroom!" Misty screamed while peeing her shorts.
"Why am I with you two dumb asses again?" Max groaned as he felt embarrassed to be with female fetish fuel.
"I should have just gotten drunk instead of come here," Conker muttered.
"I could go for some steamed hams," Principal Skinner said.
"Why am I in this story again?" Donald Trump asked as he just wanted to get McDonald's.
"Are you ready Patrick?" Spongebob Squarepants
"Oh you better believe it Spongebob!" Patrick Star
"...I don't remember things being this chaotic." Wile E. Coyote commented, with the Roadrunner blurting out a single "Meep Beep!"
"Funny inside joke!" Crazy Hand
Peach/Zelda
Bowser/Mewtwo/Ganondorf/Donkey Kong/Wario
Koopa/Paratroopa
Link/Samus
Fox/Krystal/Slippy/Peppy Hare/Falco
Oscar the Grouch
Team Rocket
Bottles/Mumbo
Captain Falcon
Ash Ketchum
Hector
Sheeda/Lillian
Haru Glory
Duke/Tristan/Serenity
Seto Kaiba/Mokuba
Joey/Mai
Anna/Spice
Lt. Gigan/MechaAnguirus
Master Ghidorah/Sir Megalon
Rob Sweere
Scott/Erika
Yami Yugi/Mewlon
Mermaidman/Barnicleboy
Ryou/Miho/Bakura
Marik/Yami Marik
Varan
"Holy crap Lois, how come I'm not involved in this story?" Peter Griffin explained in what was essentially a cutaway gag as he wasn't happy, which in turn did not actually make this inanywayshapeorform a Family Guy Funny Moment. "This is worse than the time I got arrested for drunk driving."
"Trust me it gets worse than that..." Dr. Hoshi interjected as he knew that he wasn't in this chapter at all.
Everyone was in the McDonald's restaurant, eating their breakfast as the racers and the members of the audience came in and ate as well. Yoshi signed as he munched into his Jelly Burger. "Peppy, nothing beats a Jelly Burger!"
Peppy smiled as he took another bite out of his personal lettuce, "Well, you should try this lettuce. It's damn good. By the way, where's Sonic and Knuckles?"
Yoshi pointed to Sonic and Knuckles, who were ordering French fries. The two mammals came back with their food and sat at the same table that Yoshi and Peppy were.
"So..." Sonic said to Yoshi, as he munched into his Big Mac. "What are you going to do if you win the race?"
Yoshi thought for a minute. "Well, if I won, I would use the money to have another race, but with less people in it. After that, I'll buy lots of Jelly Burgers and French Fries. And I'll top it off with my own huge pool."
Knuckles chuckled... hey wait a minute- "All those burgers and fries, and their own giant swimming pool... Nowadays, EVERY racer wants THAT prize."
Peppy smiled. "Well, if I won this race, I would spend it to get my own video game!" Yoshi looked strangely at Peppy.
Peppy sweatdropped. "What? Can't I have a spin-off?"
Sonic then spoke up. "I'd buy all the video games I could get my hands on if I won the race."
The scene switches to May, Shadow, Tails, Cream, Misty, and Max, who are at their own table. "Shadow, how were you created?" May asked, as she sipped her milkshake.
Shadow stared up at the ceiling, hesitant to tell the story, as it brought back sad memories. Shadow signed, as he said, "Well... I was born as a bio-mechanical project, by Robotnik's Grandfather, Gerald Robotnik."
"Oh boy here we go." King K. Rool muttered as he could tell things were about to get dramatic for no reason.
Shadow's glance moved down to the floor as he spoke. "My first love, was his granddaughter and Eggman's cousin, Maria. She was my first true love and friend. But then... GUN, a military group, got suspicious of Project Shadow and wanted to shut down the project. I was able to escape to Earth, but Gerald was taken into custody and Maria...she died..." Shadow shed tears at the bitter memory.
May started to cry, as well as Misty, Max, Tails, and Cream. "That was a sad story," May said, as she covered her face in tears. Misty looked down and said, "Wow. I never knew that you had to go through this much sorrow."
Shadow shuddered. "It still hurts me to this very day."
The scene switches to another table, where Bokkun and Eggman are plotting their attack on Shadow.
Eggman cackled as he looked at Shadow. "He still grieves over the death of my weak willed cousin. He'll soon learn that the Robotnik's are friends to no one! Bokkun, have you set up the traps along the racetrack?"
Bokkun saluted. "Done and done, sir!"
Eggman grinned, rubbing his hands. "Excellent. Now it's time for the fun to begin." Eggman cackled as he continued to watch Shadow, May, Misty, Max, Tails, and Cream.
The scene switches to Lactopi, Amy Rose, Rouge, Rocky, Twilight, Anakeen, and Dude, who was in the audience the entire time. "So..." Rouge asked. "What are you guys gonna do with the prize money if you win?"
Amy thought for a moment and then gave her answer. "Well, I'd buy myself a big house in the sub-urbs, and some new outfits. Also on the side, I'd get Sonic a years supply a video games, and maybe he'd finally notice me." Amy joked with the last comment.
Yoshi and Sonic both overheard what Amy said, and they ran straight up to her. "Amy, that wasn't offensive, wasn't it?" Yoshi asked.
Amy waved her hands. "No! It wasn't meant to be offensive. It was just a joke," Amy panicked, trying to proof her innocence.
Yoshi shrugged as Sonic said, "Oh well. Sorry for the inconvenience, then." Both Sonic and Yoshi went back to their table. Amy signed and she turned to Rouge. "Well, I'd buy myself a big house in the sub-urbs, and some new outfits," Amy said again, seeing that she didn't mean to insult Sonic.
Pichu shook his head while shouting, "Really? HOW IDIOTIC! EVERYBODY knows that all that money should be spent on cheesecake!"
Amy and Rouge looked strangely at Pichu.
Lactopi looked at Pichu. "Cheesecake? Hmmm... but cheesecake can be eaten in one go, whereas if one buys a rocket, they can travel ANYWHERE for a lifetime."
Rouge sighed and slapped her forehead at Pichu's response. "Pichu, seriously... Don't you think about ANYTHING other than Cheesecake?" Rouge said, as she looked strangely at Pichu.
Darth Fade-R breathed with disappointment. "Forgive him. He's an idiot." With that said, Pichu glared at Darth Fade-R.
Lactopi's eyes widened and said, "Wow...I actually have to agree with you on that Darth Fade-R! Muahahahaha!" Pichu glares with a passion...yes, a dude named "A passion" comes along and glares alongside Pichu...okay? Okay.
Yoshi glanced at the table that the six characters were at. Then he turned to Sonic and said, "Sonic, I don't think it was a good idea for me to pair up with Pichu. I mean, he's the reason I almost lost."
Pichu ran towards the table that Yoshi and Sonic were sitting at and shouted, "HEY... wait... that is soooo true! Know what? I'M PROUD OF IT!"
Sonic sweatdropped and turned to Yoshi. "Do you think he'll get smarter when he evolves?" Sonic asked.
Yoshi mumbled. "Hopefully. Maybe he'll lose his passion of cheesecake. Look at Pikachu." Sonic turned to Pikachu, who was chatting with Marth, Roy, Sheeda, and Lillian.
Pichu jumped on top of the table and shouted, "WHO SAYS I'M EVOLVING? I LIKE BEING A PICHU! I'M NEVER CHANGING! MUAHAHAHAHA!"
Lactopi scratched her head. "Hmmm... not even changing for the better?"
Pichu's eyes widened and he replied, "Wha? NO!"
Shadow sweatdropped as he said, "He takes the Guinness Book for, "Most Insane Pokemon.""
Pichu looked at Shadow and shouted at him, "I'M PROUD OF IT!"
Everyone started laughing at Shadow's comment. "Pichu is so obsessed with cheesecake, he sleeps with it during bed!" Kirby shouted.
Yoshi laughed some more. "Pichu loves cheesecake so much, he gains 251 pounds!"
Pichu glares, as he suddenly starts growing little fangs, strange looking wings, huge claws, horns...what have you. "DEMONIC PICHU HAS ARRIVED!" He yells, as he roars.
Sonic and Shadow backed away. "Oh...My...GOD!"
Yoshi's eyes widened as he hid behind Sonic. May and Misty shrieked as they saw the Demonic Pichu.
Demonic Pichu bellowed. "FEAR ME! DIE OR I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARDS! Muahahahaha!"
Lactopi rolled her eyes. "Geez...he has seen too many horror movies…"
Sonic took Amy and held her protectively, just incase Demonic Pichu tried anything.
Darth Fade-R signed a piece of paper. "Pichu, what the fuck have you been drinking?"
Demonic Pichu turned to Darth Fade-R and shouted, "I'M DRUNK ON LEMONADE SHAMPOO!"
Lactopi sighs. "Okay..."
Darth Fade-R turned to Anakeen, "And to think, we're Pichu and not insane."
May held on to Shadow's hand tightly just as Misty hid behind Ash. Pikachu, Marth, Roy, Sheeda, and Lillian all ran to a corner.
Demonic Pichu starts breathing fire as he wreaks havoc inside the McDonald's. Everyone panics and hide in different places.
Spongebob and Patrick screamed for their dear lives.
"WE'RE DOOMED!" Patrick yelled.
Spongebob started to shake, "Oh, who can protect us from this evil?"
After Spongebob said evil, suddenly at the door was...
MERMAIDMAN AND BARNICLEBOY!
"BarnicleMAN!" Barnicleboy yelled at the unknown voice. "Whatever," The unknown voice replied. Mermaidman saw Demonic Pichu and he yelled...
"EEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!" Mermaidman then started to run all over the place, while Barnicleboy signed and slapped his forehead.
Yoshi's eyes suddenly turned happy and shouted, "MERMAIDMAN AND BARNICLEBOY'S HERE TO SAVE US!" Everyone shouted, except for Demonic Pichu, who was ready to attack.
Knuckles chuckled as he readied his fists. "Want me to take him on?" He said to the others, as he turned to Demonic Pichu.
Demonic Pichu turned his monstrous head towards Knuckles and roared, "YOU CHALLENGE ME?" He growls in a very disturbing voice.
Knuckles smirked as he said, "Maybe I do."
"BRING IT ON!" Demonic Pichu roars, as the monstrous rat gets into attack mode.
Knuckles ripped a chunk of ground out of the floor and launched it at Demonic Pichu. Demonic Pichu tries to dodge the ground.
Suddenly, Scratch and Grounder appear on each side of Knuckles. "Make that three guys to deal with!" Grounder shouted, as he started firing bullets at Demonic Pichu.
Demonic Pichu tries to avoid missiles the best he can. He shouts, "Well, the more the merrier!"
Knuckles ran towards Demonic Pichu and threw more boulders at the mutated mouse.
Grounder launched several more missiles at Demonic Pichu. Pikachu turned to Marth, Roy, Sheeda, and Lillian. "We can't just stand here, guys! We need to help Knuckles!" Pikachu cried.
Marth took out his sword and said, "I hate to say it, but Pikachu is right. We need to help."
"Okay! Let me call on my Pegasus!" Called out Sheeda as she rushed over to her parked Pegasus. Holding onto the reigns, the princess jumped on to her flying horse and took out a lance.
Pikachu ran in front of Demonic Pichu with Marth. "Pichu, stop! This war is getting us nowhere!" Pikachu pleaded.
Demonic Pichu continued to go on a rampage and yelled, "NO! I'VE ALREADY STARTED! NO TURNING BACK NOW! ...Unless you give me 500 godzillian liters of cheesecake." Demonic Pichu then sat on the ground and waited.
Pikachu signs as he takes out a shitload of cheesecake. "There. Now will you turn back to normal?" Pikachu pleaded once more, as he was on his knees now.
Demonic Pichu becomes normal again as he races over to the shitload of cheesecake. "YES! MUAHAHA! MY PLAN SUCCEEDED! ...Oh wait..." Pichu says, as he stuffs himself into the cheesecake.
Everyone looked strangely at Pichu. "How in the hell did you become my partner again?" Yoshi asked, as he sweatdropped.
"I really don't know," replied Lillian, as she stood next to Roy.
Pichu eats cheesecake as he grins extremely widely. Everyone else roll their eyes.
Sonic shook his head as he comforted Yoshi. "Poor Yoshi. He had to go with all of this abuse," Sonic said, trying to calm Yoshi down.
Yoshi lowered his head in shame as Master Hand came in and said, "Racers and fellow audiences, we have the last entries. Tune up your vehicles, because we are all going to Ankylosaurus Land." Everyone cheered.
Yoshi was the one who cheered the loudest. "Finally! We can start the race!" Yoshi said in a hyper voice. Master hand cleared his throat and said, "Right, Everyone who are racers, prepare your cars and race through the transporter." With that, Master hand teleported out of the McDonald's with all of the audience.
Yoshi turned to the racers and said, "Well, it's just us now, gang."
Peppy shook his head and said, "Yeah. We can't just stand here. We got a race to attend!" Marth stood next to Sheeda and said, "Right. I suggest that we get new cars as well. Right, Sheeda?"
"Yeah," replied Sheeda as she smiled sweetly at Marth. "Maybe a cute red one with flowers would be nice."
Pikachu looked over to Shadow, who has disappeared. "Has anyone seen Shadow?" Pikachu asked, as he looked around. Heppy pointed to the Shade, which Shadow was in, and said, "Yeah. He's in his car already. We better get into our cars too."
Shadow sat in his car looking over the track. "I hope there's no booby traps along the track..."
Suddenly, the Motor Ball hovered behind Shadow's Shade racer. It snuck into the Shade's engine, ready to attack Shadow at the right moment.
Several minutes later, everyone was at Ankylosaurus Land, where the larger audience and Master hand awaited. "You guys made it just in time," Master Hand said, as he took out a small card.
"Okay, um, Yugi Moto and Tea Gardener! Will you please come out?" Master hand announced, as a pink-and-purple car with a peace sign and the Millennium puzzle on it appeared.
Yugi waved to the crowd, and turned to Tea. "Well Tea, are you ready?" He gave her his cute smile.
"Yeah, I'm ready!" Responded Tea as she placed a hand through her hair and smiled.
Tristan turned to Duke and said, "Hey Duke, maybe we can have sex with Serenity?" Duke smiled and said, "Yeah! Let's do it, Tristan!" But unfortunately for them, Joey overheard.
Joey started to fume with rage. "Sex? With my little sis? I'm gonna kill those guys..." He turned to Tristan and Duke. "You guys even think about Sex and my sister in the same thought, I'll castrate the both of you!" He yelled at them, as Tristan and Duke both backed away from Joey while Serenity giggled.
Master Hand took out another card. "Okay, here comes the next entry. GREAT MIGHTY POO!"
Suddenly, a huge piece of shit slowly moves into the stadium, poisoning the air with his foul stench. Everyone covered their noses as the Great Mighty Poo revealed himself.
"I AM THE GREAT MIGHTY POO, AND NO ONE'S NOT GOING TO GET IN MY WAY!" The Great Mighty Poo sang, as he farts loudly, causing nearly everyone to barf.
Yoshi covered his nose. "That's because you're so disgusting, no one WANTS to get in your way." Soon, everyone except Master Hand and the Great Mighty Poo started laughing.
"HEY! I HEARD THAT!" The Great Mighty Poo roared.
Peppy rolled his eyes. "With those big ears, it's no wonder."
Master Hand cleared his throat somehow. "Guys, please. We have a race to do. NEXT ENTRY!"
Mermaidman and Barnicleboy were in their Invisible Mobile. "We came here earlier for breakfast, but we were delayed," Barnicleboy told Master Hand.
Mermaidman chortled. "Boy, I can't wait to race in a grand prix with the rest of the racers!"
Master Hand coughed and continued, "Well, we certainly have a handful tonight. Please welcome the next entry!"
A blond man in black-and-white clothes, blue pants, and with a RB3 gun appeared. He looked at Master Hand and said, "I'm Rob Sweere. I decided to compete in this race. Don't ask me why I'm a bland piece of shit, I was just written this way."
Master Hand chuckled. "It's good to have you here, Rob. You just made it here."
Yoshi walked towards Rob and smiled. "I hope you like your racing experience here," Yoshi said, as he shook Rob's hand. Rob smiled and shook back.
Master Hand looked around. "It's time for the next entry!"
Lt. Gigan, a greenish version of Gigan with a commander suit and hat, comes out on MechaAnguirus, a grayish mechanical version of Anguirus. As MechaAnguirus makes a stop, everyone busts out laughing.
"Um… hahehohu… who are… lol… you?" Peppy stuffed in his laughter.
"L-LOOK, GUYS! AHHAHOHAHAHA! That… mechanical chicken is on a mechanical Ankylosaurus!" Kazooie shouted, as she laughed all over.
"AND I THOUGHT PICHU WAS STUPID AND EGGMAN WAS FAT!" Yoshi said as he fell to the ground in laughter.
Sonic couldn't help but yell out in laughter. "Oh man, I feel even sorry for Eggman! Being born in a deep fat fryer is one thing, but this! HAHAHAHA!"
"...Say, Lt. Gigan. The Texas Rodeo is back THAT way," Eggman points to the west and laughs. Everyone laughs even more.
Lt. Gigan glared at everyone. "Laugh all you want, fools, but I think that we will prove to be a formidable adversary."
"Yeah. We'll show you who's the best," MechaAnguirus added, as everyone continued to laugh.
Heppy was cracking up while trying to calm down his laughter. "Wh…what ever you... s-say, man."
Just as anyone was going to say something, a dark purple car with the Millennium Puzzle painted on it appears. Inside are Yami Yugi and Mewlon. "Hiya! We're here for the race!" Mewlon said.
Yami Yugi looked at Master Hand and said, "We thought it would be interesting to test our racing skills, so we joined in."
Master Hand nodded and said, "Well, we are glad for you to join. Now we shall have a few more racers coming in."
Right at that moment, Scott, aka Milleniumon in human form, and Erika arrived in a red car with green-and-yellow flowers. "Hiya! We decided to race to!" Erika shouted happily.
Scott chuckled and said, "Yeah. We decided to add randomness in this race, so we came over."
"Well, glad you guys could make it," Master hand said. Another car appeared and it had the image of the Millennium rod. The car itself was black and dark blue. Yami Marik and Marik appeared out. They both said nothing.
And if all wasn't enough, a light bluish car with the Millennium Necklace painted on it appeared next to Marik/Yami Marik's car. Bakura came out and said, "Haha! We have made it to the race!"
Ryou appeared out with Miho and said, "Oh boy! This is very exciting!"
Yoshi looked at the new racers in awe. He turned to Peppy and said, "Well…looks like we have quite a handful of racers tonight."
Peppy shrugged and replied, "Yeah. I can't believe that Master Hand had enough money to host a huge race."
Yoshi chuckled and said, "Well don't forget, Peppy…Master Hand is the almighty hand of God. It's not like he does this for a living."
Peppy laughed and said, "Yeah. If Master Hand was to do this every day, it would seem so pointless."
Birdo looked over at Yoshi and Peppy. "I'm quite surprised that Master Hand himself did this entire grand prix race in the first place. I mean, we already did the first race, why did Master Hand suddenly stop?"
Boshi looked at Birdo and said, "Probably because we would have all of these racers here."
Heppy shook his head and said, "No, it's can't be. I mean, without the proper funds, it seems so that, well, I don't know how to put it in, but..."
Bronto scoffed and said, "Funds, smunds. We're here to have some fun and competition."
Shelia smirked and said, "And maybe we can have some lovin' too..."
Yoshi looked at Peppy and said, "Peppy, what would you do if you won the race?"
Peppy scratched his chin and said, before being interrupted, "I would probably-"
"ENOUGH!" Master hand shouted loudly to everyone. He signed and said, "Guys, shouldn't you talk about this DURING the race? I mean, we want to have all the racers here."
The 8 dinosaurs shrugged, just as suddenly a golden rollercoaster car appeared. Out came two monsters: Master Ghidorah and Sir Megalon.
"I am Master Ghidorah," The golden dragon-like monster said to Master Hand.
Sir Megalon bowed and also said, "And I am Sir Megalon, the house guard of Monstrol Castle."
Master Hand looked at the two monsters and complimented, "Very interesting. I hope you enjoy your racing experience."
Suddenly, a huge, reptilian brown squirrel-like creature flies down to the middle of the race track. Master Hand looks at the creature and says, "And who might you be?"
The creature made a face and said, "What do you mean who am I? You don't know me?"
Everyone shrugged as Peppy said, "I think I know."
"All right, who am I?" The creature asked Peppy. Everyone, including Master Hand and the audience, turned towards Peppy.
Peppy scratched his head and said, "You're uuuhhhhhhhh...don't tell me I'll get it...uh..."The creature signed as he said, "I am the great Va-"
"No, don't worry. I'll get it. Uh...um..." Peppy was still trying to figure it out.
"I don't think we know you," Zirdo said, pointing to Peppy, who was still trying to figure out who was the creature.
"WHAT?" The creature shouted above his lungs.
Rocky the Echidna approached the creature and asked, "How about some hints? Are you a video game character or famous monster?"Varan fell down and said, "…I'm insulted…"
Heppy shrugged as he said, "I guess that means yes."
"I GOT IT!" Peppy shouted, as he did a victorious pose.
The creature narrowed his eyes at Peppy as he said, "WHAT? And it better NOT be Ridley!"
"Ya-Uh...I...I'll get back to you," Peppy said, as he sat down. The creature signed and slapped his forehead.
Twilight hopped up and down as she said, "OOH, OOH! YOU'RE THE COWARDLY LION!"
The creature's veins were about to explode, and the creature yelled, "I'M A MOVIE MONSTER!"
"Oh yeah? What company?" Bronto said, putting his hands on his hips.
"Toho Studios!" The creature roared again.
Birdo scratched her head and she said, "Tooooooooooohoooooooo...Nope, sorry."
The creature's vein popped, and he went berserk. He yelled at high pitch, "THAT'S IT! I'M VARAN!"
Everyone except Master Ghidorah looked strangely at Varan. "Wait, I remember now. Toho Studios abandoned Varan after Destroy All Monsters, so that explains why he wasn't seen lately," Master Ghidorah points out. Everyone doe the "OHH YEAH!" thing just as Varan wipes his forehead.
"Man, it's been some years, hasn't it?" Master Ghidorah asked Varan.
Varan signed and replied, "Yeah. My contract with Toho didn't go out very well."
Yoshi shrugged and said, "Well it's no wonder no one here but Master Ghidorah knows who you are."
"Yes, well, I really suggest that we focus on the race," Varan suggested. Everyone nodded in agreement.
Master Hand looked at his chart, and then he turned to the racers. "Well, that's everyone," Master Hand said.
Everyone cheered as the fanfare played in the background. "Hooray! Now we can race!" Yoshi said with glee.
Master Hand looked at the racers again and said, "Don't get your hopes up, because now we have to explain the rules."
Everyone, including the gigantic audience, gasped in shook as Master hand took out a card. "You cannot be serious," Zirdo said to the gigantic floating hand.
Master Hand shrugged and said, "Hey, what will start the race without rules? Anyway, it's time to read the rules."
He looked at the card, and started to read loudly to everyone. "The winner will be determined by the number of points they obtain. In each stage, the first place winner will get 78 points, 2nd gets 77 points, 3rd gets 76 points, and so forth. Each stage will have their own way of stopping you from winning. If you're car is destroyed or for some reason you cannot race anymore, you are officially eliminated. In between each stage there will be three Chance Times, which is obviously from Mario Party. This will help any last place people catch up in points. If you are caught cheating, you will be disqualified." Master Hand then tossed the card. "Those are the rules for the race," He said to everyone.
Yoshi smirked and said, "Okay, now this will get very interesting. Racing all over Dinosaur Land…I'm so excited!"
Master Hand then revealed a big screen and said, "Just to have no confusion, I am going to tell you which racers are here. The racers are as shown:
"Please, no more." Everyone said in unison.
Tyrannoyoshi Rex/Lord Genzor Triceratops/King Brachiosaurus/King Ankylosaurus
James Bond
Alec Trevelyan
Wile E. Coyote
Roadrunner
Barney the Dinosaur
Oscar the Grouch
Team Rocket
Sonic/Amy
Knuckles/Rouge
Tails/Cream/Cheese
Shadow
Krusty the Clown
Homer Simpson
Bart Simpson
Skinner/Otto
Groundskeeper Willie/Earthworm Jim
Donald Trump
Crazy Hand
Bottles/Mumbo
Drumstick
T.T.
Captain Falcon
"Well fine you gay baby jailers, anyway the rules are read, so we are ready to go," Master Hand growled. Everyone cheers as a Lakitu appears and whispers to Master Hand. Master Hand turned to the racers and said, "Well, due to the advertisements throughout the race, we will have to have a word from our sponsors."
"D'OH!" Everyone, including the audience, cried in unison. Master Hand took a remote and pressed it. The screen fizzled, and then it showed the following commercials.
"Today, people who didn't send money Western Union, and the heartbreak it caused," The host woman said to the camera, as she turned to Yoshi and Peppy Ankylosaurus. "So, what happened?" She asked.
Yoshi scratched the back of his head and said, "Well, to make a long story short, my friends and I are having this race here."The hostess nods her head in agreement just as Peppy continues, "But we needed to give a company money to air one of our commercials, so we told Baby Mario here to send the money."
"I did. I did sent the money, I tell you," Baby Mario said, trying to not be accused. Yoshi narrowed his eyes at Baby Mario. "I SENT THE GODAMN PIECE OF SHIT MONEY!" Baby Mario shouted as he stomped around like a 5-year-old child in tantrum.
"But not Western Union," Peppy Ankylosaurus pointed out.
Peach appeared in front of Peppy and shouted, "WHAT? YOUR FRIENDS TRUSTED YOU TO SEND THE MONEY AND YOU DIDN'T USE WESTERN UNION?"
Peppy shrugged as he said, "Nope. And it STILL hasn't made it there."
The host turned to the audience and said, "And what does the company have to say?"
The employees of Nintendo, Sega, and Rareware were all angry, and they shouted at the same time, "THANKS A LOT!"
"Gee, you're welcome," Yoshi sarcastically added.
A mysterious voice from nowhere says, "Western Union. The fastest way to send money."
The commercial ends, and it switches to another commercial.
King Kong is sitting in a seat in a McDonald's restaurant. Don't ask me how he managed to fit due to his huge weight. Anyway, he unwraps his new Big Mac Supreme. Godzilla walks by him and asks, "Hey, Is that the new Big Mac Supreme?"
King Kong nodded his head. "Mphm."
Godzilla's eyes were turned into diamonds as he said, "I'll give you fifty dollars for it."
Anguirus rolled in. "I'll give you 100...no, 200 dollars for it."
Mothra flew in front of King Kongwhile flapping her butterfly wings. "I'll give you 300 dollars for it."
Rodan swooped from the roof. "Oh yeah? I'll give you a MILLION dollars for it."
Jak appeared. "I'll give you a Playstation 2 for it."
"I'll give you an X-Box," Master Chief affirmed, as he handed King Kong a Halo 2 game.
"I'll give you a Nintendo Gamecube," Mario alluded, as he pulled out a red Gamecube.
"I'll give you Monstrol Castle," Sir Megalon said.
"I'll give you the Monster Kingdom," Master Ghidorah added.
"I'll get you your own game," Luigi said, as he took out his ghost vacuum and did a pose with it.
Yoshi walked towards King Kong. "I'll get you your own game SERIES."
"I'll get all these people off your back," Peach interjected with a big bassy fart as she shoved Samus out of a window using her flatulence.
"I'll marry you," Fay Way says, as King Kong just stares in awe and smiles dumbfoundly.
Superman appeared. "I'll trade our powers."
The producers and directors from Universal Studios came in. "We'll give you Universal Studios."
"I'll kill all of your enemies," Bowser says with a smirk.
The Men in Black appeared. "We'll leave you alone."
Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star approached King Kong. "We'll put you on our show."
Oprah Winfrey appeared next to King Kong. "I'll put you on MY show."
I'll let you help be a member of the audience in the Yoshi Kart grand prix," Crazy Hand said, as he handed King Kong a ticket.
King Kong was about to accept when Master Hand flew in. "I'll let you RACE in it," Master Hand said to the gigantic ape.
"REALLY?" King Kong says, as Master Hand smiles.
Black screen covers up. The words "Yoshi Kart" are placed on the black screen. The sounds of a car driving by can be heard.
"The hell, I wasn't even involved in that!" Yoshi said while eating a Big Mac Supreme himself in his kart.