Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: I wonder how much money I could make off this is I figured how to pull together lose ends. Hmmm... not much, I suppose. Anyway, here's the actual racing part of THAT chapter. Rest assure, I've fixed up this little stinker pretty good. (winks)
Boshi was far ahead in first place. Yoshi/Pichu, Peppy/Clario, and Mario/Luigi were the only racers that were behind Boshi.
"Okay, guys, here's where the racing gets serious," Yoshi said, as he took out a Yoshi egg and threw it at Boshi's car. The car itself went up into the sky, and it fell back onto the ground. "Yes!" Yoshi cried.
"All right, Yoshi!" Peppy cried. He then got out several red Koopa shells and started to throw them behind him.
"Mama-mia... It's-a the need for-a speed!" Luigi shouted to Mario and used a Mushroom, which sent their Kart into a turbo dash.
Yoshi noticed the Mario brothers speeding and he thew a Yoshi egg at their engine. "Not so fast, Marios!" Yoshi cried.
"Mmm...cheesecake is too good to resist!" Pichu said, as he stuffed more cheesecake into his mouth.
Clario was about to toss a red fireball at the Marios, when a blue Koopa shell hit him and Peppy. The pair went up into the sky and fell on top of the Mario brothers. "Ouch...my back," Clario groaned.
Peppy tried to get up, but Mario was crushing the yellow Ankylosaurus's weight. "Ah damn it...I'm gonna need a back rub for this," Peppy said to himself.
"Ouch-a!" Mario and Luigi yelled in unison after the accident.
As Yoshi sped towards to first place, he pointed to a nearby car stop. "You can fix your cars there," Yoshi said, as he sped off to victory.
"Um, Yoshi, I hate to spoil my cheesecake moment, but look who's behind us!" Pichu cried, as he pointed to the Tyrannoyoshi Rex approaching the pair.
"Heh...these fools are going down!" Tyrannoyoshi Rex shouted in pride, as he grabbed Yoshi's car and hurtled it into the air. The ferocious Tyrannosaurus-like dinosaur laughed and ran towards to claim first place.
"Whoa!" Yoshi and Pichu cried in unison, as they went way up into the sky.
Sonic, meanwhile, was quickly rocketing to front of the race, after a few mushroom pick me ups from Amy. "Almost there..." He could see Yoshi and Pichu.
Sonic pushed a button on his dashboard and the floor opened up near his feet. "Eat your heart out, Fred Flinstone." He put his feet through and started to run on the road. His super speed gave his car a HUGE boost.
Yoshi and Pichu fell on top of Sonic and Amy. Yoshi's car fell on top afterwards, which caused Sonic's car to combust and explode. The three mammals and reptilian fell onto the ground, just as Boshi sped past them.
When Sonic opened his eyes, he could see nothing but white. "Am... Am I dead?" He asked himself. But then he could feel a weight on his face, and could see little pictures of himself. Amy's panties were in his face. "Uh...nice panties Amy..." Sonic said from underneath her.
Yoshi shook his head and said, "Damn that Tyrannoyoshi Rex...why did he have to rain on our parade?"
Pichu shook his head and started to look for his cheesecake, which was in Amy's cleaverage. "My cheesecake! I must get it back!" He cried, as he hopped into Amy's cleaverage. Amy cired in horror as Sonic regained his senses and saw the little electrical rat moving inside Amy's cleverage.
"EEK!" Amy leapt up, heqaring Sonic's comment, and Pichu in her cleavage. She tore her dress off, causing Pichu and his Cheesecake to fall out, but also leaving her in her underwear, much to Sonic's delight.
"WOOHOO!" Sonic exclaimed. "Looking good, Ames!"
"Mmm...cheesecake! Muahahaha!" Pichu cried in joy, as he started eating the cheesecake.
Amy blushed madly. "Sonic!" She tried in vain to cover herself.
Shadow, meanwhile, was using the same technique that Sonic was trying before his car blew up, and sped right past Sonic/Amy/Pichu/Yoshi.
Yoshi looked at Shadow speeding towards third place, followed by May, Misty, and Max. Yoshi then turned his attention to the three mammals and asked, "Guys, I don't mean to sound stupid, but shouldn't we fix our cars? Tyrannoyoshi Rex and Boshi will claim first and second place if we don't do something!"
Sonic and Amy used their super speed and started rebuilding both cars. The whole process took only 8 seconds, before both cars stood fully repaired.
Yoshi smiled, but as he was about to say something, a mysterious car with balloons and streamers on it passed by, followed quickly by the Koopa Klown Car. Yoshi was left speechless and hopped into his car. "I have no idea what's going on," Yoshi said, as he, Pichu, Sonic, and Amy started to speed off behind the Koopa Klown Car.
May started to tremble again, as she looked behind her, It was the Air Tank Man and the Balloon Dude. "Guys..." She said, just as the girls' car ended up next to Shadow.
Misty turned her head to May and asked, "May, what's wrong?"
Max turned around, and his eyes widened. "Those two weird guys are chasing us!" Max cried loudly.
Shadow turned around and gasped. "Shit! Air Tank Man and Balloon Dude!"
May and Misty screamed loudly at the same time. The Balloon Dude cackled, and he said, "Yes! It's time...for STREAMER WARS! Air Tank Man, are you ready?"
"YES!" Air Tank Man cackled, and pulled out his air hose. "My first victims!" He lunged for May and Misty.
May screamed loudly, just as a mysterious figure appeared in front of her. It was none other than...Ganondorf. "BAH! You think YOU'RE pros at streamers? I'll show you!" Ganondorf shouted, as he started throwing streamers at Air Tank Man.
Balloon Dude stood up and took out his can of streamers, when the Koopa King and the Psychic cat-like Pokemon appeared behind him. "And who are you?" The Balloon dude asked randomly.
"Payback time for the last race!" Bowser shouted, as he started pounding his fist into his other..
"You've thrown your last streamer!" Mewtwo said, as he started preparing a Shadow Ball.
ATM dodged the streamers, letting them go past him, headed right for Balloon Dude. He shoved his air hose into Misty's mouth and turned on his air tank at full blast.
May started crying again as she hopped into Shadow's car. "WAAAAH! Don't turn me into a balloon!" May cried, as she hugged Shadow tightly.
Max jumped in surprise and took the wheel. "Great! Now I have to drive this thing!" Max cried out, as he started to drive crazily.
Balloon Dude laughed as he started throwing streamers at Bowser and Mewtwo. Ganondorf unleashed his Warlock Punch on the Air Tank Man, which caused him to bump right into the Balloon Dude.
"OOF!" Air Tank Man shouted as he hit Balloon Dude. "But too late! Look at the girl!" He pointed to Misty who was inflating like mad, arms and legs flailing, and clothes ripping and popping, as her body becomming more spherical. "My work here is done! Ha ha! We have a genuine human balloon!"
Shadow's jaw dropped at what he saw, as Misty's shorts and shirt finally tore off. "God... She's turning into a fleshy balloon in underwear!"
May cried out waterfalls. "WAAAAH! I DON'T WANNA BE A BALLOON!" May cired, as she held tightly to Shadow.
Right at that moment, James Bond, The Star Fox, Flying Krock, and Alec Trevelyan were nearby.
"Increase speed!" Fox said to Rob 64. "The Flying Krock and Alec Trevelyan are gaining on us!"
"Arr, it's time we teach these landlubbers a lesson," Kaptain said, as he glared out of the Flying Krock's window at Peppy hare, who was staring back from the Star Fox.
"WOAH!" Peppy Hare exclaimed at Kaptain's appearance. "Is that guy ever UGLY!"
Kaptain snarled as he started shooting bullets at Peppy hare. The old rabbit went backwards into the Star Fox's emergency wall. "Who's the ugly one, ugly?" Kaptain teased.
Alec was running, when Diddy appeared from behind. "Hey, Trevelyan, I'm the best racer, so get lost!" Diddy shouted, as he fired a bullet at the running man.
Peppy Hare came back with a rail gun and started firing at Kaptain's head and at the crew of the Krock.
Trevelyan dodged the bullet and shot several bullets at Diddy Kong, causing the little ape and his car to fly into the Balloon Dude and Air Tank Man's car. "Eat lead, monkey!" Trevelyan cried as he aimed his bullets at Slippy's arwing.
The Kremlings started firing cannonballs at the Star Fox, which caused it to lose speed. Trevelyan started firing repeatiately at Slippy's arwing, thus, causing it to explode.
Krystal started to use her psychic abilities to take the Kremling's own cannon balls and fire them back at the Krock.
The Flying Krock put on a shield, causing the cannonballs to hurtle towards Shadow's car, casuing Shadow and May to fall into Misty's car. "About time!" Max cried, as he pushed against the Air Tank Man.
May saw the Air Tank Man, and she screamed louder than ever. It caused all of the arwings except for Fox's arwing to explode. "NOOOOOOOO!" Slippy cried, seeing that his arwing was destroyed by Trevelyan.
Before Air Tank Man fell, however, he shot one more air hose into May's navel, causing her to inflate, just like Misty. "One more balloon!"
Trevelyan started shooting bullets at the Air Tank Man. "What's the matter, Air Tank Man? No glib remark. No pithy comeback."
"No, that's MY job," The DKR octopus said, as he trapped everyone ahead of him into bubbles, leaving them to doom.
"Oh great," James Bond said. he started to pick one of his most trustworthy weapons.
"Chaos Spear!" Shadow fired his chaos shot at the bubble they were trapped in.
Yoshi, Pichu, Sonic, and Amy were all passing the fellow racers that were trapped. "Hey guys, isn't that Shadow and May?" Yoshi curiously asked.
"Why yes it is, and...OH MY GOD!" Sonic pointed to May and Misty, who were inflating like a couple of balloons, clothes all ripped except for their underwear, and getting wider and spherical by the second.
"What's happened to them?" Amy exclaimed
"Shoud we free them?" Yoshi asks.
Pichu, while eating his precious cheesecake, shrugged and said, "Nah. They can get out themselves."
The 2 pairs of racers speed towards the road.
"Oh great. It couldn't get possibly worse," King K. Rool said, trying to pop the buibble.
Shadow, meanwhile, was launching chaos spears at the bubble, hoping to burst it, before May and Misty got any bigger.
Baron K. Roolenstein was pondering, and then he came up with an idea. "Wait a minute...that's it! I know how we can get out!" Baron shouted, as he pointed his gun at everyone. They all got out, and both May and Misty returned to normal.
Banjo/Kazooie and Link/Samus passed the racers right after they got out. "Well, they have gotten off at a bad start," Link said to Samus. Samus shook her head in agreement.
"Whew... That was close." Shadow sighed with relief.
Banjo looked at the Air Tank Man, and he trembled. "Man, that guy sure is freaky," Banjo said, trying to avoid the image of the Air Tank Man.
Shadow nodded. "I feel sorry for the girls."
Kazooie pointed to Yoshi/Pichu and Sonic/Amy, who were in front. "Hey Banjo, look! Some racers!"
Yoshi turned his head to see Link/Samus and Banjo/Kazooie. "Guys, we have company," Yoshi said to Sonic, Pichu, and Amy.
Samus pointed her cannon at Yoshi's car. "All right, it's time for a good ol' blasting!" Samus then started charging her cannon.
Sonic/Amy fired red koops shells at Epona, before Samus could fire.
But it was too late, for Samus fired her shot at Yoshi/Pichu, which sent them flying all the way...into first place. "SAMUS, YOU IDIOOOOOOOT!" Link yelled angrily at his female partner.
Sonic quickly put his feet to good use as he gave his and Amy's car a HUGE boost of speed, to catch up with Yoshi/Pichu.
Samus lowered her head. "Sorry. Bad aim, I guess," Samus apologized.
Back in the middle of the pack, Bronto was using mushrooms to pass Cloud Stirfe. "Okay, now I just need to pass him before he speeds away," Bronto said to himself, as he fired a missile at Cloud's bike, which caused it to go flying into the air.
"WHOA!" Cloud screamed, before he crashed down on Rocky and Twilight, who were behind Bronto. The car exploded, and the three figures were covered in black.
"Áw man! We were just about to pass the blue Brontosaurus!" Rocky groaned, as she dusted off the black dust off her fur.
Twilight shook her body, and she noticed that her Twilight+Tails locket was missing. "WAAA! I LOST MY LOCKET!" Twilightr cried, as she started to burst into tears of waterfalls. Cloud took out his personal umbrella and used it to protect him from the huge tears.
"Hey Spice, what happened to these guys?" Anna said, as she pointed to the three dirt covered figures.
Spice shrugged, and they sped off. Theyt were now behind The Chaotix. Tomo-Chan turned around and shouted in an extreme hyper voice, "Hey guys! It's two weird girls who are coming behind us!"
Espio turned his head backwards, and he fired a misile at Anna's car, causing it to fly straight into Lactopi and Anakeen's car. "GAH! Something just hit us!" Lactopi cried randomly.
Anakeen turned his head to see an injured Anna and Spice. "Um...we seem to have a bit of a problem on our hands," Anakeen told Lactopi, pointing to Anna and Spice.
Anna opened her eyes slowly to see Lactopi and Anakeen. "Urgh...what happened?" Anna asked.
Lactopi randomly scratched the back of her head and said, "Well...you and your Chao crashed into our car."
Charture, Amanda, and Silver were right behind Marik and Yami Marik. "Okay, let me handle these clowns," Amanda said, as he took out a red Koopa shell. She threw it at the Tomb Keeper's car, which caused it to pummel into the air.
Amanda cheered, and Silver said, "Way to go, Amanda! You sure showed them who's boss!"
Amanda turned to Silver and she kissed him. "Awww! Thanks, Silvie!" Amanda squealed, as Silver blushed a deep red. Charture said nothing and the car sped off into 23rd place.
Knuckles/Rouge were fighting to move past the other racers with Rouge launching koopa shells at the racers ahead. Birdo avoided the Koopa shells and threw her Birdo eggs at Knuckles's car. The impact of the eggs caused the car to combust. "Yes! Now three more to go!" Birdo cheered, as she aimed for Mumbo's car.
Knuckles ended up face first in Rouge's cleavage when he came back down.
Mumbo turned around and started firing spells at Birdo's car. Birdo avoided the spells and took out a mushroom. She used it and sped past Mumbo and Bottles. "See you later, boys!" Birdo shouted to Mumbo.
"Knuckles!" Rouge shouted, blushing madly, as Knux landed in between her breasts.
Mumbo slammed his fist down on his car. Bottles, the nearsighted mole, turned his head to Mumbo and asked, "Mumbo, why are you so down in the dumps?"
"Grrr...pink dinosaur easily make fool out of Mumbo. Mumbo won't stand to this!" Mumbo angrilly shouted. Bottles jumped in surprise.
The Chaotix was coming in from behind. They have noticed Knuckles and Rouge, who were both down on the race track. They shrugged, and spotted Mumbo and Bottles. "Hey guys, look's like we have a couple of easy targets," Charmy announced.
"Check out the witch doctor and four-eyed mole!" Espio jeered. "Let's blow them off of the road!"
Vector started launching a stream of koopa shells at Mumbo/Bottles. "Eat this!" Vector shouted at the pair.
Bottles overheard Espio's comment, and this pissed him off. "Nearsighted, eh? Take this!" Bottles shouted, as he threw missiles at the Chaotix.
Mumbo used his magic to revert the Koopa shells back at the Chaotix. "Chaotix have no knowledge of Mumbo's skills," Mumbo said triumphally.
Espio started swerving the car around to avoid the shells and missiles. "Woah! What the hell?" Espio exclaimed.
Mumbo fired several more spells at the Chaotix. Their car was hit, and the Chaotix crashed into a nearby tree. "Haha! Mumbo kick Chaotix ass," Mumbo said, as he and Bottles sped off.
Charmy weakly opened his eyes, and he said, "Woah...am I in heaven?"
"No..." Vector groaned. "Our car just go trashed...and look at our driver." He pointed to a dazed Espio.
Tomo-Chan ran to Espio and slapped him hard. "Wake up, Espio! This is no time to be sleeping!" Tomo-Chan yelled.
Espio snapped out of the daze immediately. "WOAH!" His speed kicked in and he stated to repair the car. He finished in 9 seconds due to his ninja speed.
By the time Espio has finished, Ash Ketchum, Tails/Cream, Lyn/Eliwood, Pipsy, Drumstick, and Bumper have passed the Chaotix.
"Damn it. Now we're in 27th place..." Darth Fade-R groaned, as he slapped his forehead.
Espio quickly hustled Vector, Charmy, Tomo-Chan, and Darth Fade-R into the car as he started it up, and pulled back onto the road. "Mushrooms! I need mushrooms!"
Vector started supplying Espio with Mushrooms, that boost the car's speed, allowing them to catch up.
Drumstick turned his head to see the Chaotix. "Missiles away!" Drumstick shouted, as he fired missiles at the Chaotix behind him.
Pipsy was pushing Tails/Cream off the road, while Ash was chasing Bumper. "Goddamn Pokemon Trainer...he's creeping me out..." Bumper said to himself, as he grabbed a mushbroom and sped off.
Espio swerved to avoid the missiles, while Vector launched a koopa shell at Drumstick's car.
Drumstick caught the Koopa shell and he threw a bo-bomb at the Chaotix. The bomb exploded, sending the Chaotix to crash into Pipsy, Tails/Cream, and Lyn/Eliwood. "GAAH!" Lyn and Eliwood cried at the same time.
"Eeeek!" Pipsy cried as she spun around.
"FUCK IT! NOT AGAIN!" Vector cursed, though it was muffled, because Espio got shoved into his mouth.
Charmy was stuck underneath Vector's ass, and was being squished.
Tails was flat on his back, with Cream on top of him, her panty clad rear right in his face. "Oh man... Well at least I got a nice view..."
"Tails! You pervert!" Cream screamed timidly, hiding her blushing face.
Pipsy slowly opened her eyes, only to find herself in Lyn's cleavage. "AHHH! THIS IS UNSANITARY!" Pipsy cried at the top of her lungs.
Lyn shrieked loudly just as Eliwood opened his eys. Lyn's bubble butt was on top of Eliwood's face. "Lyn...your bubble butt is crushing my face...though nice panties," Eliwood commented.
Charmy got himself out of Vector's ass and shook his head. Darth Fade-R was crushed by Tomo-Chan. "Goddamn it, get off of me," Darth Fade-R moaned.
Charmy pulled Darth Fade-R out and noticed that Sephiroth has passed. "Damn it. We'll never win at this rate," Charmy said.
Tomo-Chan pulled Espio out of Vector's mouth. "Are you all right, Espio?" Tomo-Chan asked in a high pitched voice.
"Ouch..." Espio groaned.
Yugi and Tea passed, looked at the crashed racers and shrugged. "Shall we race ahead?" Yugi asked politely.
Vector sighed and said, "Be our guest. I don't think we're gonna be back in the race for quite a while."
The race in the wild plains of Ankylosaurus Land was starting to heat up in action, and the racers all knew that as they progressed through the difficult racecourse...
As Yoshi and Pichu went soaring though the air, they came into contact with Master Ghidorah.
Master Ghidorah turned to see Yoshi and Pichu. "A-ha! Thought you could easily outdo Master Ghidorah, eh? Will, take this!" Master Ghidorah shouted, as he grabbed Yoshi's car and hurled it at the DKR Dragon.
As the car crashed, the DKR Dragon fell down in pain. He moaned, "Damn it, what kind of stupid, brainless moron would throw a car down here?"
Yoshi and Pichu both moaned. Yoshi got up and said, "Well, that was quite unexpected, wouldn't you say, Pichu?"
Pichu, on the other hand, was too busy cooing over his cheesecake.
Yoshi narrowed his eyes and said, "Geeze, I can't take this anymore…"
Yoshi and Pichu then were pushed onto the ground by the passing of Baby Mario and Baby Luigi's wagon, which was being pulled by the rapid Chain Chomp.
"Damn, I forgot about them…" Yoshi said, as he got up and quickly fixed his car, In a few minutes, his car was back to normal, and Yoshi sped back into the race.
"Yoshi, you're going too FAST!" Pichu shrieked, holding onto his cheesecake.
The DKR Dragon (Smokey, as it was confirmed in Diddy Kong Racing) moaned painfully as the DKR Walrus (Bluey, also confirmed in Diddy Kong Racing) got him up. The DKR Dragon cheered and said, "Thanks, Bluey! You're a lifesafer!"
"No problem at all, Smokey! Let's get back into the race," The DKR Walrus said, as the two bosses from Diddy Kong Racing started to speed up again.
In no time, Yoshi and Pichu have caught up to Baby Mario and Baby Luigi. Yoshi took out a green Yoshi egg, and aimed it carefullt at the babies' wagon while holding the steering wheel. He fired, but much to his displayed, the Yoshi Egg instead hit a few bananas behind Baby Mario and Baby Luigi's wagon. All was not lost, however, as Yoshi and Pichu manage to get a star out of the egg, and used it to zoom past Baby Mario and Baby Luigi.
The two baby Mario Brothers notice this, and they fired three green Koopa shells at Yoshi/Pichu. The shells barely had any affect, as Yoshi and ZPichu continued speeding on.
"C'mon!" Baby Mario shouts, "Is there any other good item that we have that we can use against Yoshi and Pichu?"
Baby Luigi took out a boomerange. "How about this? He asked.
Baby Mario shrugged. "Oh well, that'll do for now," He replied, taking the steering wheel as the Chain Chomp broke off and headed off to the jagged mountains in the northwest region of Ankylosaurus Land.
Baby Luigi squinted to see which spot on Yoshi's car was the weakspot. "A-HA!" Baby Luigi shouted, aiming and then throwing the boomerange at the bottom of Yoshi's car, which hit the back left tire,
Yoshi screamed, seeing the boomerange pierce one of his cars tires. "ACK! Pichu, take the steering wheel!' Yoshi shouted, as he got out a pump and started pumping it.
Pichu gulped. "I'm not sure, Yoshi..." He looked at the steering wheel with fright. "Looks pretty dangerous to me..."
As Pichu continued watching the uncontrolled steering wheel while Yoshi was fixing the back left tire, Baby Mario and Baby Luigi passed by, laughing.
Boshi the Yoshisaurus, Bronto the Brontosaurus, Shelia the Stegosaurus, Bumper the Badger, Peppy/Clario, Mario/Luigi, Peach/Zelda, Pipsy the Mouse, Drumstick the Rooster, Zirdo the Birdosaurus, Banjo-Kazooie, Birdo, Link/Samus, and Sonic/Amy are all racing together, trying to out race each other. So far, only Boshi, Bronto, Peppy/Clario, Bumper, and Mario/Luigi are having luck as they speed ahead, leaving the others in their tracks. They start to approach a series of curves, ramps, and landmines as they approach the Yoshi Series and Diddy Kong Racing bosses.
"Have some of this!" Bumper shouts, throwing several bubbles behind him.
Mario turns the steering sheel to avoid the bubbles, and rams into Bumper. Luigi takes out his hammer and starts whacking the wheels.
"STOP!" Screams Bumper in horror, as he pushes Mario and Luigi back by ramming into them, "No way am I going down because I'm being attacked!" He grabbed a rocket missile, and used it to zoom away.
Mario and Luigi were right on Bumper's tail, using a triple pack of mushrooms to cxatch up to the badger. They approached the cruves.
"Mario, the curves!' Luigi shouted, pointing at the incoming curves.
Mario turned to the left and used a powerslide to go ovver the first 2 curves, and he made another left turn and 2 right turns to narrowly go through the curves with ease. Using this technique, the Mario Brothers managed to catch up with Bumper.
Bumper, much to his shock, turned around to see Mario and Luigi coming up behind him.
Luigi grabbed a star, and it made the brothers invincible, allowing them to pass by Bumper without having trouble.
Bumper screamed as he was hit by the star-protected duo, and went into the air, landing and crashing on Sonic the Hedgehog and Amy Rose.
Mario and Luigi gave each other high fives, before Banjo and Kazooie zoomed next to them.
"Got the fire, Clockwork, ice, and grenade eggs ready for firing, Kazooie?" Banjo the Honeybear asked.
Kazooie nodded and smirked. "I sure am, Banjo," The red-crested breegull replied, as she aimed at Mario and Luigi. "Have some of this!" She fired several ice eggs at Mario's car, frezing up the engine.
Mario and Luigi screamed, as they frantically searched for fireballs to use to burn off the ice. Unfortunately, Mario didn't have his grip on the steering wheel, and the two plumbers went crashing into the first ramp.
Kazooie laughed. "So long, chumps!" She cackled, as she and Banjo used a rocket booster and zoomed up and down through the ramps, with the other racers catching up to them.
As the racers zoom through the canyon interiors of Ankylosaurus Land, they start to notice that the walls on both sides are starting to appear more orange, and that the dirt-paved road is starting to turn into a sandy path. Finally, the last thing the racers expect is that the temperature is getting hotter, and several cactuses can be seen instead of the usual Deciduous trees.
"What the heck?" Heppy Ankylosaurus exclaimed as he approached Tiptup and Krunch, "Why is the racecourse becoming more and more like a desert?"
Krunch looked at his map on his car's computer screen. "Because it IS a desert area. That's what my map says," Krunch told Heppy, before he crashed into a green cactus.
Tiptup gulped. "Uh oh...this could be dangerous..." He said, as he swerved to the left to avoid the two incoming catuses.
Bowser/Ganondorf/Mewtwo/Wario/Donkey Kong were all riding along in Bowser's aerial Koopa Klown Car, above the hot, scornful desert portion of Ankylosaurus Land and were head-to-head with the Star Fox.
"So you want some of this," Bowser said, launching his fire breath on the Star Fox's lower left wing, setting it on fire.
"What the?' Fox McCloud exclaimed, "Get your own target!" He opened the window on the Star Fox and started firing at the Koopa Klown Car.
Mewtwo fired back, releasing smaller shots of his Shadow Ball, with them getting bigger and bigger after every 10th strike from the Star Fox.
Falco Lombardi, Slippy Toad, and Krystal joined Fox, with all 4 characters firing at the Koopa Klown Car.
Wario screamed, avoiding the gun shots as he possibly could, but getting struck continuously. "WAH! They're-a too tough-a!"
Ganondorf growled, his eyes replaced with flames. "NEVER say that the opponents are too tough." He readied his Warlock Kick. "I'll show them TOUGH..." He readied his leg, and he launched his powerful Warlock Kick on the Star Fox's lower left wing, damaging it heavily.
Donkey Kong was actually inside the pipes leading to the cockpit of the Star Fox, breaking wires and damaging the inside as he sneaked into the cockpit. "Hehehehe...they'll never suspect a thing..." DOnkey Kong chuckled to himself.
The big ape then approached the Star Fox's control panel, and he started to smash it, getting attention from the Star Fox crew.
"DONKEY KONG! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Fox exclaimed in horror.
"HE'S DESTROYING THE CONTROLS!" Slippy shouted.
"NO! HE'S MESSING UP MY DOLLARAMA COLLECTION!" Peppy Hare screeched loduly.
"ACK! NO, STOP THAT, YOU BIG APE!" Krystal screamed.
"GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT OF OUR SHIP!" Falco shouted, being the only Star Fox character to actually give a fight. He growled, aiming his gun at DOnkey Kong. "I SAID GET OUT!"
"Make me!" Donkey Kong shouted back, punching into ROB, and propelling his arms into Falco, whacking him every time, and knoicking the gun down, on which DOnkey Kong stepped on it.
Falco snapped. "THAT'S IT!" He started rapidly kicking Donkey Kong, and followed with his Fire Falcon techique, sending Donkey Kong crashing back into the completely damaged control panel.
Donkey Kong opened his eyes to see Falco using his triple kick combo on him, sending Donkey Kongto crash into the ceiling, and to fall back down, only to be owned again by Falco's Fire Falcon. Donkey Kong got up, and he was then grabbed by Falco and thrown into the air, where he was shot by Falco's other gun. Donkey Kong fell back down to the ground, and just when Falco was about to finish him off, Donkey Kong got up, pulled out a handful of barrels, and threw them at Falco.
Falco amazingly manged to dodge all except one barrel, on which he slipped and was knocked out by the barrel. Donkey Kong cheered triumphally, and he punched the Star Fox's window, jumping out of the Star Fox and coming back into Bowser's Koopa Klown Car, covered with bruises all over his body.
"Donkey Kong!" Bowser exclaimed, "What happened to you?"
Donkey Kong gasped, trying to catch his breath by eating one of his treasured Golden Bananas. "I'll tell you later. We got a race to win!" He said.
Bowser shrugged. "Whatever you say, buddy." He grabbed the steering controls, and sent the Koopa Klown Car ahead, leaving the Star Fox behind to slow down.
Fox turned to his other crew members. "Well, that sucked. Now what do we do?"
Slippy and Peppy both shrugged. "Beats the crap out of us."
Krystal sighed and shook her head, picking up a wounded Falco. "Why don't we just fix our ship, so we can get back to the race?" She suggested.
Fox nodded. "Good idea," He admired, as the Star Fox members, minus Falco, started fixing up the Star Fox.
Back on the desert ground level, Princess Peach Toadstool and Princess Zelda were coming through, on full throttle as they rammed into Sonic the Hedgehog and Amy Rose.
"GAH!" Sonic screamed, "What are you doing?"
Peach smirked. "Taking care of a certain, pesky hedgehog!" She gave Sonic a Peach Bomber in the face, knocking the blue mammalian back.
Amy took out her Pico Pico Hammer. "Hey! Leave my Sonikku alone!"
WHAM! Amy was kncoked unconcious by Zelda.
"Nice work, Zellie," Peach said, smiling.
Zelda chuckled. "Heh. It's no problem at all." She lit Sonic and Amy both on fire, using her Din's Fire spell.
Mario and Luigi zoomed right past Peach and Zelda,noticing the flames on Sonic's Cyclone.
"Stupid headgehog," Mario said, as he threw behind him banana peels at Peach/Zelda.
Peach swerved to the right, and rammed into Mario's Red Fire vehicle. Zelda launched another Din's Fire spell on the wheels, but Luigi struck back by whacking his hammer into the vehicle, and followed with an...um...brick. Yeah, that's original.
"No it isn't!" Luigi shouted up at the sky.
Luigi died of a heart attack.
"I'm not dead!" Luigi shouted back up at the sky.
Luigi died again of another heart attack.
"STOP IT!" Luigi screamed at the sky for the third time.
Luigi evolved into George W. Bush.
"NOOOOO!" Luigi dramatically screamed in horror.
And in Darth Vader's voice.
"I KNEW something like this was going to happen..." Says a rather annoyed Darth Vader in the audience, sighning.
Back to the actual race, Heppy Ankylosaurus managed to catch up all the way to the other racers, being behind Peppy Ankylosaurus/Clario and Yoshi/Pichu.
"Say your prayers, fellas!" Heppy shouted, grabbing a blue, winged spiny shell.
CLario's eyes widened, and he screamed. "P-p-peppy! LOOK!" He pointed at Heppy, who was now on the left.
Peppy didn't bother turning back, and instead, he continued driving.
Yoshi, however, noticed this, and he grabbed a green shield. "Let's see that spiny shell do a number on this baby," The green Yoshisaurus chuckled, placing the shield around his car.
Heppy stopped his car to allow Peppy/Clario and Yoshi/Picxhu to get away, and then the thoughtful, purple Ankylosaurus released the blue shell, coming straight at Yoshi and Pichu.
The spiny shell then exploded, sending the screaming pair Peppy and Clario into the air, but not having affect on Yoshi and Pichu, thanks to the shield.
Pichu laughed. "HAHAHAHAHAHA! CHEESECAKE ALWAYS PAWNS WITH SHIELDS!" The insane, little mouse chimed, eating his truckload of cheesecake.
Yoshi smirked, and he turned around to laugh at Heppy.
Heppy slammed his fist angrily on his car roof. "DAMN! DANG! DARN! D'OH!" He kept pounding until the engine exploded, causing Heppy to crash into Yoshi/Pichu, and thus, sending all of the three characters screaming and hurdling into one of the tall, green cactuses.
Boshi, Tiptup, Krunch, Mario/Luigi, and Pikachu/Marth/Roy all zoomed by, seeing Heppy Ankylosaurus, Yoshi, and Pichu in ruins.
"Oh well, that's what you guys get for being stupid!" Tiptup shouted back, before he went spinning around, due to the oil dropped by Krunch.
"Sucker!" Krunch laughed, before he crashed into a orange, moving cactus - a Pokey.
Mario and Luigi were now in head-to-head combat with Pikachu/Marth/Roy, with Boshi behind farther ahead.
"Mamma mia!" Luigi shouted, "We'll-a never get these-a guys off-a our tails!"
Mario laughed. "Not-a to-a worry, Luigi! Watch-a this-a!" The red plumber grabbed a red fireball and chucked it at the engine of Pikachu's new, spazzy vehicle.
"I don't think so, plumber boy!" Pikachu retorted, electrocuting the fireball, and resorting to electrocute Mario and Luigi.
Princess Peach and Princess Zelda were trying to catch up again, their car wretched by the blows from Luigi's hammer.
"Let's go!" Peach demanded, "I need more mushrooms!"
Zelda frantically searched for a mushroom, when she came across with a Oricana. "Hey, it's the Oricana!"
"Ooooh!" Peach cooed, suddenly having one of Mr. Burns trademark change of moods, "I wonder what it does!"
Zelda shrugged. "Well, we're not going to find out by just standing here. I'll play it, then." She placed her mouth on the Oricana, and she started churning out a beautiful song, which spurred up several desert tornadoes.
Marth slapped his forehead. "Oh great! This is the LAST thing we need - desert tornadoes!"
"Man!" Roy moaned, slamming his fist on the car, when he saw Bowser's group speeding past them, but something was unusual about the car. "Heeeey...since when can Bowser change his car just like that?" Roy asked Pikachu and Marth.
Marth rubbed the back of his head. "Um, Roy? What are you trying to point out?"
"I think I might know," Pikachu added, pointing at Bowser and his group of strong/heavy characters. "Look!"
Bowser, Ganondorf, Mewtwo, Donkey Kong, and Wario were all traveling together, but this time, Bowser's famed Koopa Klown Car was different - it was now an ACTUAL car!
"Gwahahaha!" Bowser laughed, throwing a Bowser Shell behind him, "Let's see the racers deal with this one!"
Ganondorf chuckled, rubbing his hands together in glee. "Fufufufufu...this could be the perfect time to unleash some of my minions!"
"I don't think so!" Link shouted, throwing a boomerange at Ganondorf, striking the Gerudo King's head.
Ganondorf growled. "Why you little..." His fist started glowing purple. "Warlock..."
Link started to grip Epona's reins tightly. "Epona, go to the left! Go to the left!"
"Link, what are you doing?" Samus retorted, pointing her cannon at Bowser's Koopa Klown Car engine. "I got a great aim here!"
"It's not that!" Link shouted back, "Ganondorf's about to-"
"PUNCH!" Ganondorf shouted, punching Epona at an incredible power, and sending the Hero of Time and bounty hunter into the quicksand nearby.
Link jumped off of Epona and he released his hookshot onto Epona's reins. "Epona! Come on!"
Epona struggled, and she managed to get up and out of the quicksand, but Samus was faring much worse.
"LINK!" Samus shouted, "Do something! I'm going to sink!"
Link started to panic, having no idea on what to do to get Samus out of the quicksand.
"So you want to be heroes, huh?" Wario cackled at Mario and Luigi. "I don't think so!" He gave Mario's kart a good headbutt, leaving a mark in it.
"HEY-A!" Luigi shouted in anger, shaking his fist. "LEAVE-A US ALONE!"
Wario only laughed, mimicking Luigi. "Awwww...what's wrong? Is baby Luigi upset?" He cackled even more, making Luigi fumed with rage.
"Hey-a, leave my-a younger brother alone!" Mario shouted back, giving Wario a good punch in the face.
Wario growled, a big, red bruise on his face. "Grrrrr! You ruined by perfect face!" He took out his King Sea Dragon Hat and placed it on his head, replacing his usual yellow cap. "Now you're gonna be asking for it, bub!"
"Bring it-a on-a!" Mario retorted, placing a Metal cap on his head in place of his regular red cap, and becoming metal.
Luigi grabbed the steering wheel, but noticed Mewtwo, who also had the steering wheel for Bowser's Koopa Klown Car, smirking. "Uh oh..." The green plumber gulped. "I don't think this is going-a to be-a an easy race..."
Mewtwo chuckled. "You got that right, shrimpy." He released a Shadow Ball on Luigi, making the poor plumber scream in pain.
Last Time, on Saved By the Bells: The College Years...
...Stuff happened. And that's it.
"I dropped my hotdog," A random human male child stated in disappointed.
And now... back to the race.
"LUIGI!" Mario screamed, seeing his brother getting hurt, before he was punched in the gut my his fatter cousin.
"C'mon, lame-o!" Wario taunted, slapping his butt at Mario, "You'd have a chance if you were to attack me!"
Mario fumed. "So, you want to be attacked, eh?" He grabbed Wario by the legs, swung him around several times, and them released the fat greedy man at Mewtwo, knocking them both down.
Luigi sighed of relief. "Phew! Thanks, Mario." He said, smiling as he grabbed Mario and dusted himself off.
Mario nodded. "No problem. Now let's get out of this stupid desert!" He grabbed the steering wheel, and he and Luigi zoomed off.
Bowser slapped his forehead. "Can't those guys do ANYTHING right...?" He muttered to himself.
Ganondorf patted Bowser on the back. "There, there - at least we managed to get rid of a few other racers," He said confidentially, as Donkey Kong used the car crane to pick up the semiconscious Mewtwo and unconscious Wario.
"Mario and Luigi are back in style, and it seems that Bowser's Group of baddies and non-baddies will have to use a different tactic other than fighting to win," Master Hand boomed to the audience with vivid information, "Link and Samus are having problems with quicksand, and Peach/Zelda are nowhere to be seen! What could happen?"
Heppy swerved to the right, and he then appeared side-by-side with Tiptup. "Hey! Surprise, surprise!"
Tiptup turned around and gasped in surprise as he saw Heppy waving at him. "Not on my watch, purple Ankylosaurus boy!' The green, cautious turtle retorted, ramming his car into Heppy's lighter, purple kart.
"HEY!" Heppy barked angrily, pushing Tiptup back, "I just gave my kart a new paintjob before the race, and you're wreaking it!"
'Well, tough luck!" Tiptup shouted, ramming into Heppy again.
Yoshi blinked as he turned around. 'What the heck? Tiptup and Heppy are fighting?"
"Yup." Pichu said, eating his cheesecake, "I guess that's how the world works."
Pikachu heard this, and he looked in awe at Pichu. "That's the smartest thing I ever heard Pichu say..."
Marth nodded. "Yeah, good point..." He said, brandishing his sword.
Roy looked behind him, and at the steering whell. He raised his hand. "Wait just a minute! Who's driving?"
Pikachu and Marth both looked at each other, then at Roy, then back at each other, and at the steering wheel.
"Aw cra-" BOOM! The three characters went spinning out of control, and crashed into a wall.
"Haw-haw!" Donkey Kong and Wario laughed.
Mario and Luigi were speeding away while everyone else were distracted.
"We're gonna win it, Luigi!" Mario laughed. "No one's coming from behind us! We're gonna have one heck of a headstart!"
"Yeah!" Luigi laughed, taking out a triple pack of mushrooms, "Now if I can just place these into the engines..." He threw the mushrooms into the engine, and the Red Fire was sent zooming right over the quicksands.
"Ha-ha!" The Mario Brothers triumphally cheered, giving each other high fives, "The Mario Brothers rule!" They then were gobbled up by a hungry Piranha Plant in the middle of a quicksand pit.
Peppy Ankylosaurus and Clario past by the Piranha Plant pit, and noticed what happened to Mario and Luigi.
"Shocking." Clario said, zipping some hot tea, "Must not be good to be them."
"Here, here." Peppy agreed. "We're not going to be the ones who went in there." They continued on, swerving to the left as they avoided more quicksand pits.
Heppy and Tiptup were still pushing each other. Heppy then noticed some cacti in front of him. "Yipes! Catci!" He pulled away.
Tiptup looked at the cacti, and then at Heppy wary "Nice try, purple legs, but I'm not going to be short of that easily!"
"Oh yeah?" Heppy retorted, releasing some mines behind him at Tiptup, causing the careful turtle to crash.
Roy slapped Pikachu and Marth. 'Pikachu! Marth! Get up, we gotta get back into the race!"
Marth blinked, rubbing his forehead. "Urgh...what just happened...? Did we crash...?"
Pikachu screamed. "Wuh! I forgot about the race!" He used Thunder Wave, causing most of the racers to stop, because they were paralyzed.
Peach shrieked. "Eiiek! Zelda, why aren't we moving?"
Zelda checked the car's engine. "We're paralyzed, Peach! We can't go anywhere now!"
Pikachu grinned. "Yes! Now if I could just start up the engine-"
"Already got it, Pikachu!" Marth shouted back, as he threw a Flare Bomb into the engine, which exploded, and thus, caused the vehicle to flare out of the deep sand, sending the electric, yellow mouse Pokemon and the two Fire Emblem swordsmen propelling past the paralyzed racers.
"AHHHHH!" Pikachu, Marth, and Roy screamed at the top of their lungs.
"REBIRTH!" Roy laughed, throwing his fist into the air with a candlestick for no apparent reason.
Yoshi winced to see a building in front of him. "Hey! It's a tall, hotel building!"
Bowser rolled his eyes. "Please! What's so good about a stupid building?"
Donkey Kong shrugged. "I don't know, maybe because it's a pitstop."
Wario grinned. "A pitstop! That's it-a!"
And so, all of the racers stopped at the pitstop, which was ironically right out of the blistering desert.
Back IN the desert...
"This is gonna take a LOOOOOOOONG while..." Link said, as he tried desperately to get Samus and Epona out of the quicksand.