Author's Note: No comment, just that all of the requested characters will appear! (GASP!) Enjoy!
Disclaimer: We own nothing official and all fan-made characters belong to their rightful owners.
Dr. Hoshi: How long have you been saying that?
Disclaimer: For FIVE MONTHS.
Dr. Hoshi: Oh.
Chad the Charmander: Yeah, yeah, we heard enough from you two. Let's just get this race on the way.
Yoshi: (scoffs in disgust) Race? What race? All I'm seeing here is bullshit!
"...and speaking of bullshit, why aren't I getting any focus this chapter?" Yoshi complained as he was playing as himself in Mario Kart DS on the Yoshi Circuit racecourse on his Yoshi themed Nintendo DS in the balcony.
"Just shut up and play your fucking game." Peppy Ankylosaurus sighed as he was also playing Mario Kart DS on his own yellow DS, with him playing as R.O.B. on the Peach Gardens racetrack.
May stepped out of the bathroom, feeling much better, after the "trouble" that the chocolate gave her. "Ahhhh... My tummy doesn't feel queasy anymore."
"Yeah, and at least we don't have to hear you burp or fart anymore..." Max said, relieved that the horror was over.
"Well, shall we get back to our cars?" Fox McCloud asked while wrapping both of his arms around the back of his head. "We don't want the other racers getting a head start to speed away from us. We'll never hear the end of it if they do."
Kaptain K. Rool sighed as he finished polishing his gun. "Perhaps we should wait in case anymore racers want to show up," He spoke up as he adjusted his gun.
"I wonder how many more racers are gonna end up with their cars in pieces all over the tracks..." Mewtwo wondered, his arms crossed together. "Guess we'll know if we hear any swear words in the air." He chuckled
Suddenly, swearing could be heard from the background. Suddenly, a Pikachu that looked like Mario and a Pichu that looked like Luigi stepped out in their Pikachu Car.
"Oh no." Bowser muttered as he placed his right hand on his face. "Not even more pesky plumbers..."
"Ah man... I can't believe this! A Crash? Now?" Chuigi grumbled. "Damn it!" He cursed, as he slammed on the car.
"Chuigi, why did you stop at the fucking hardware store? We were almost late!" Pikario shouted angrily at his younger brother.
"You had to say swearing," Max said flatly at Mewtwo, his eyes narrowed in that way that they typically do in anime and manga.
Mewtwo rubbed the back of his head, sweatdropping. "My bad..." He apologized.
Pikario turned to Max and shouted, "Shut the fuck up, you whore! We're here for the race! If that bouncy Raichu, Peach, found out that we were here, she would chew us out!"
"Bouncy?" Bowser repeated. "Would that mean she's... er... well endowed?" He had to fight to keep a goofy grin from coming onto his face.
Pikario made a weird face at Bowser and said, "Um, you wouldn't like the Peach from OUR universe. She's an annoying whore who squeals a lot!"
Bowser's face went gaunt with horror. "Yikes..." He said, not wanting to hear anymore of the Pokemon version of the Mushroom Kingdom princess.
Pikario sighed and said, "Anyway, my name is Pikario, and I'm the famous guy from the Pokemon Kingdom." He pointed to Chuigi. "The dumbass with me is my stupid, ugly, little brother, Chuigi."
"HEY!" Chuigi was REALLY offended by that remark.
"Pikario and Chuigi?" Bowser asked. "Reminds me of Mario and Luigi. Say, do you have a Pokemon equivalent of me in your universe?"
"Oh yeah. He's a Blastoise who's mom was a Charizard named Bowser. He's stupid, and he reads the dictionary just to read sentences!" Pikario pointed out, as Diddy, Max, and Ganondorf cracked up and started laughing. Kaptain K. Rool chuckled.
Bowser sweatdropped. "Gah... Even I'm not THAT mentally stupid or retarded." He said in dismay.
And suddenly, another car, this time a Kirby car, appeared, and it revealed a Kirby clone that looked like Mario and a Kirby clone that looked like Luigi.
Kirio plodded out of the car. "Hi there! I'm Kirio and this is my brother." He pointed to the Luigi Kirby.
"And I'm Kuigi, and I'm better than Kirio here," Kuigi blurted out.
Bowser's eyes bugged out of his head. "What the hell? More alternate Marios?" He shouted, surprised to see another parody duo of the famous plumbers.
It was then that Metal Mario walked by casually with tires in his hands. Everyone looked at the literal OC Donut Steel version of the Italian mascot as he shrugged and kept going his way.
"Well, at least I get more focus," Kirio responded as he posed.
"At least I have more fans!" Kuigi snapped back as the two Kirby Mario Bros began slapping each other in a very pathetic manner.
Pikario rolled his eyes as he looked at Chuigi. "And I thought you were the only stupid one," Pikario joked with a smug smirk.
"Watch it..." Chuigi warned his brother.
Max laughed his ass off, adjusting his glasses. "I sense a jealousy."
Mewtwo chuckled. "Looks like unlike the real Marios, these ones don't get along too well."
"Apparently Not." Fox agreed, seeing how these two sets of brothers were trying to outdo their siblings.
"Well, I like to be a joyous sport, but shouldn't we tell Master Hand about these new entries?" Max asked out of the blue.
"Good idea." Krystal agreed, getting tired of the fact that Chuigi and Kirio were staring at her butt.
"Man, what a nice ass that fox girl has..." Chuigi drooled.
Kirio agreed, eyeballing Krystal's booty. "And she looks REAL good in spandex..."
"Man, I wish Peach could have an ass like that..." Pikario and Kuigi both said in unison, as they drooled.
Bowser smirked. "Well the Peach from OUR world does." He flashed them a photo of the Peach he knew, in her pink bikini.
Suddenly, Master Hand appeared in front of the gang. "Racers, I have something important to say," He announced, glaring at the Mario knock offs. "So stop being perverted and listen up, or I'll zap you good."
Pikario took the picture and started thinking of naught thoughts. Kuigi looked at the picture and started thinking of the same, dirty images in his mind. Master Hand then electrocuted them, staying true to his word.
"What is it, Master Hand?" Misty said, as she held onto Max.
Master Hand cleared his throat and said, "We have a few more racers to fill out the race. I expect you to be on your best behaviors." When Master Hand finished, he disappeared.
Max looked at May. "May, I guess he means that you can't eat anything for a while," He pointed out.
"Aw..." May looked disappointed.
Peach was horrified at her hair. "I look like Donald Trump!" She screamed.
"You're fired," Donald Trump stated as he raced in his own themed kart, planning to run for president in a decade from now as he was making the most in the present, being sure to Make Yoshi Kart Great Again.
Baby Mario appeared again and laughed at Peach. "Hey, Donald Trump, get a room!" He shouted, as he left laughing his head off.
Chad the Charmander ran out of the barbershop and approached Peach. "Goodness, I'm so sorry about your hair, miss! How can I make it up to you?" He asked, as he gave off a sad, kitten look.
Peach sighed. "Do you have any hair growth formulas?"
Chad frowned and said, "I'm afraid not, sorry." He then thought of something and blurted out, "BUT, I can be your partner for the Grand Prix."
"Sure, why not." Peach said, though she was still said about her hair.
Suddenly, Professor E. Gadd popped up. "Did I hear someone mention Hair growth formula?"
Peach sighed and nodded.
E. Gadd smiled widely. "What a coincidence! I just happen to have some with me!" He pulled out a bottle of black liquid, that could have been mistaken for India Ink. "Splash this on your head, and you'll be guaranteed to have a full head of long blond hair once again!" He unscrewed the bottle and poured it onto Peach's head.
Suddenly, Peach's scalp erupted with a volcano blast of blond hair, that shot out from every follicle on her head. Her blond hair was growing fast and showed NO signs of stopping.
E. Gadd laughed nervously. "Oh dear... Peach seems to have become a modern day Rapunzel..."
Peach's blonde hair had grown back, but was so bushy and long that it spread out EVERYWHERE.
Peach moaned from underneath her huge mass of blonde hair. "I know I wanted to have my long hair back...but this is TOO MUCH." She brushed her now long bangs out of her eyes.
Chad stood there, surprised. "Wow, that's a lot of hair," He said. He turned to Professor E. Gadd and asked, "How much ink was in that thing, anyway?"
E. Gadd looked at the bottle. "Only a few pints... But it seems a little too strong... But at least there weren't any side effects..."
Chad sighed and said, "So, who are you, anyway? I heard of a guy who looked like you, but I never met him. I think his name was E. Gadd or something..."
E. Gadd smiled. "That's me! I'm the founder of Starbeans Cafe! And the one who invented Luigi's Ghost Vaccum, and Mario's Water Cannon, that you might have seen with them."
Chad's face light up, and he cheered. "All right! You ARE Professor E. Gadd! You're also the one who invented the Gadd Light, right?" He asked in a happy mood.
Prof. E. Gadd nodded. "The very same!" He was about to say something else when he heard the sound of fabric ripping, and Peach's scream. He turned around, and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "Oh my... Looks like my hair tonic does have side effects after all..."
He pointed to Peach, who not only had an endless head of blonde hair, but whose breasts, hips and butt has suddenly inflated, giving her quite the hourglass figure, and tearing her dress a bit.
"MAMA-MIA!" Mario had suddenly appeared, his jaw dropped to the floor, his eyes bulging, and his nose bleeding a river.
"WHAT THE HELL?" Yoshi, Peppy, and Dr. Hoshi shouted in unison.
Luigi just stared. "I thought Peach was beautiful before, but MAMA-MIA!"
Chad's eyes widened as he started running around, screaming. "AHH! IT'S A MONSTER! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" He shouted, which drew the attention to Ralph Red Koopa, who was standing nearby.
"What in God's name is THAT?" Ralph exclaimed, pointing to the now inflated Peach.
Dr. Hoshi stuttered, then he turned his head to Ralph and said, "That's Peach... she's been ...INFLATED!"
"It could only be one guy... AIR TANK MAN AND THE BALLOON DUDE!" Peppy and Yoshi shouted, as they pointed to Air Tank Man and Balloon Dude, who were nearby.
Air Tank Man shook his head. "It wasn't me this time! Someone beat me to it!"
Professor E. Gadd pulled out another bottle. "I knew this would happen someday, so I made this!" The liquid in this bottle was clear as water. He splashed it on Peach, and in a puff of smoke, her figure was back to normal, and her hair was back to it's regular long length. "Much better."
Yoshi, Dr. Hoshi, Peppy, Ralph, and Chad all sighed of relief, the reptiles all glancing at each other.
"Well, now that is taken care of, perhaps we should see how many other racers will join," Dr. Hoshi suggested, as they all went back inside.
"Can we get a number on who will join?" Ralph asked as he glanced around.
"I don't care. I just want some racing again." Peppy rolled his eyes as he was getting bored of sitting around so much.
"Boy you said it." Chad added as he adjusted his green mask, since nobody cared who he was until he put on the mask.
"God, do I feel like a big guy..." Yoshi randomly stated for you as he heard a plane suddenly crash, WITH NO SURVIVORS.
Peach smoothed out her dress and ran a hand through her hair. "Ah... It feels good to be my old self again." She smiled cheerily as she then let out a huge bassy fart, giggling.
Meanwhile in another area, the likes of Homer, Bart, Krusty, Willie, Earthworm Jim, Bumper, Tiptup, Eggman, Scratch, Grounder, and Timber were all anxious to see who the next racer was.
Homer was busy dancing around in a devil costume to a Samba beat. "I-AM-EVIL-HOMER! I-AM-EVIL-HOMER! I-AM-EVIL-HOMER! I-AM-EVIL-HOMER!"
"Homer, how long are you gonna keep doing that?" Tiptup asked as he was racing around in circles within his kart since he wanted to have some kind of racing action going on.
"For as long as he wants," Timber replied as he was bumping into a wall in his plane.
"Well, at least he's got good rhythm." Eggman laughed, as he watched Homer sing.
"Yeah... I'd be tempted to sing with him, but, well..." Earthworm Jim chuckled nervously as he noticed Willie was putting in extra supplies for them.
"What? I don't get a to say anything?" Willie complained as he spotted Peter Griffin spotting on them from the bushes in his own vehicle.
"Holy crap Lois, this is worst than the time we didn't get invited to funny moments!" The Family Guy stated to his family as they then dashed off, plotting to get into Yoshi Kart officially somehow.
"trust me, you'll get used to having no lines real quick..." Krusty commented as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, sighing.
Suddenly, a red truck appeared. The figures revealed themselves as Marge, Lisa, Patty, and Selma.
Marge looked at her doing his usual Husband. "Oh Homer..." She shook her head.
"Marge, why did you have to marry that idiot?" Selma asked.
"Because she's too lazy to find a good husband," Patty added. They both laughed.
Homer stopped. "HEY SHUT UP!" He yelled at the two women.
"Make us, fat boy," Selma teased.
"Oh, this is gonna be good." Bart stated with a chuckle as he rubbed his hands together gleefully.
Homer took out a chainsaw and ran towards Patty and Selma.
Lisa just watched in amusement. "I knew to was only a matter of time before Dad snapped."
Patty turned to Marge and said, "Marge, do something! You're husband is gonna kill us!"
Marge just smiled evilly and stepped back. "Sorry girls, you've had this coming for a LONG time."
Patty and Selma screamed, and then they jumped out of the car and hid behind Krusty and Willie.
Willie and Krusty stepped away, and let Homer butcher Patty and Selma.
"GO HOMER!" Timber, Tiptup, Bumper, Scratch and Grounder cheered in unison. And so, a cliffhanger hangs in the balance. What will happen next time? Find out soon…
...oh, and ADD RANDOMNESS TO THE REVIEWS! I NEED TO BE INPSIRED! Thank you.
"Nah, I don't think anyone cares about that." Dry Bowser commented as he and two others zipped along on the road in pipe framed karts to give this chapter some form of actual racing involved.
"Hey, I happen to enjoy those bits!" Arceus pointed out as he surrounded himself with winged spiny blue shells around his kart.
"You don't count, you enjoy everything!" Gruntilda scoffed as she used her witchcraft to turn the straight road into tight curves, causing the three of them to go swerving about. "I say those things are only good when you're drunk!"