Yoshizilla: All right, the races have spoken, and I'm all outta jokes - I gotta start co-writting with MIlleniumon the Sonamy Freak and Blackmage Junior again. Seriously, I can think of few to zero to no jokes at all when I concentrate on the races solely. And its reasons like this that chapters done only by me for Yoshi Kart are better and more serious-toned than the other chappies. Have that in mind when I co-write with my buddies again, perhaps somewhere after the Rocky Castle Mountain race.
Disclaimer: You know, I'm applying for a job now.
Yoshizilla: Oooooh, that sounds exciting.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm going to be working at McDonald's from now on!
(crickets chirp)
Disclaimer: What? That is a good thing, hehehehe...right?
Yoshizilla: No.
Disclaimer: Damn.
"I wish we got more coverage," Yoshi stated as he was still with the others inside the Icy Cavern.
"Don't worry, I'm positive that we'll get more." Dr. Hoshi stated as he was driving the Turbo Yoshi kart, with Yoshi chucking his eggs at the flunkies.
"We better. I hate not being used in a fanfic that glorifies OCs," Peppy Ankylosaurus growled as he whacked several enemies with his tail club, munching on his lettuce as Clario was driving their vehicle.
It has been a harsh and cold journey through the snowy racecourse that travels across the reknowned Birdo Mountains. Only a handful of racers manage to survive this treacherous cold area, and most can't even bare to take a dive into the snow, so let's go and see these racers to see if they got the 'skillz' needed to survive...
Ash Ketchum is in between Krunch the Kremling and Diddy Kong. Suddenly, a red rocket missile, shot by Diddy, zooms around the track. It homes in on the helpless Ash. Fortunately, the experienced Pokemon Trainer has a mushroom on him. He hits the gas and a stream of flame flares out from the rear of his vehicle, shooting him directly in front of Drumstick the Rooster. The red rocket missile remains on trajectory, and poor Drumstick realizes he is in the way of the shell about 2 seconds before it slams him onto the snow.
Ash winces to see several objects ahead of him. "What the...what are all these snowmen doing here?!" He exclaims.
Ash zooms past a group of about 17 snowmen in the right-hand side of the racecourse.
The next group of item boxes approaches. Ash attempts a grab for one, but he miserably misses. Tiptup the Turtle comes up on his tail.
"Outta the way!" Tiptup shouts to Ash.
Ash scoffs. "Peh! Make me, turtle breath!"
Tiptup shrugs. "All righty, then..." He pulls out two mushrooms and throws them into the item slot in the kart. He rockets past Ash, and pulls out a fistful of six bananas.
"Hey!" Ash shouted, using a triple pack of mushrooms to zoom up close towards Tiptup.
Tiptup looked at the bananas, then back at Ash and smirked. "These bananas sure look good, but I think you'd enjoy them more!"
He begins pitching them at Ash, one by swerves to the left and avoids the first two, but the third hits him and he spins out and fallsinto the snow. The other three are avoided by everyone else.
Ash gets back onto the road, and he now prepares to go over thethird wooden bridge – only to find that it's gone! He cannot slow himself, so he accelerates and presses the jump button as he goes over the icy chasm. He lands on the other side with two feet to spare and continues is getting worried. Those snowmen weren't there when he last saw them on his computerized map on his car's computer screen. And there was a wooden bridge over that pit. Something is up in the cold, frisky air of the Birdo Mountains, and Ash knows it.
Suddenly, a muffled BANG is heard, and Drumstick is shot 8 feet into the air. The broken remains of a snowman lie on the ice, along with the empty smoking casing of a bob-omb...
Ash instantly realizes what's going on. The "snowmen" are landmines!
Bowser's group is hovering above the icy rivers that flow through the racecourse. They notice that Jak's group is approaching.
"You handle the driving," Bowser says as he gives Ganondorf the steering wheel, "I'll handle the SONY chumps." He releases his fire breath down on Jak's group, burning them intensly, which causes them to crash into the icy river.
"Good going, Bowser!" Donkey Kong congratulates, "But what about Peach and Shiek?"
Bowser looked down again to see Princess Peach Toadstool, along with her chums (Shiek, Professor E. Gadd, and Chad the Charmander), coming towards the ramp ahead at full speed. "Release the Bowser Shell!" He shouted, as he pulled a lever.
A huge, spiky green shell then fell from Bowser's Koopa Klown Kar, and it started to hurtle along the snowy road.
"It's a Bowser Shell!" Prof. E. Gadd exclaimed, "Either we do something about it, or we're goners!"
Chad the Charmander got up. "I'll handle this. Ember!" He released tiny balls of flames at the Bowser Shell, but with no effort. "Blast! Not even my Ember can pierce that thing..."
Shiek grinned. "It's simple." He took out his whip. "Just whip it, like...this!" He whipped at the Bowser Shell, but it made it more quickly in richocheting. Shiek sweatdropped and rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed. "Whoops."
Peach slapped her forehead. "Yeah...whoops." She had no time to turn, as the Bowser Shell collided into the four characters, and thus, sent them into the icy river.
Bowser and his horde of buddies all chuckled as they watched the Bowser Shell knock down several of the racers coming up.
Back with Ash Ketchum, the experience Pokemon Trainer turns the corner to find approximately 5 more snowmen waiting for his arrival – a minefield. He also finds a blackened Drumstick near a hole in the ice.
"All right there, Drumstick?" Ash asks, slowing down a bit.
Drumstick starts up his car, and he gets moving looked at Ash. "Who the heck mined these snowmen?!" He slammed his fist on the steering wheel.
Ash frowned. "I dunno..." He replied, shaking his head sideways slowly.
Krunch has pulled ahead of Diddy Kong, and quickly passes a still-accelerating Drumstick. He pulls out a red rocket missile and aims carefully for Ash, when a mine, thrown in front by Drumstick, strikes him from the front. He rolls into the snow to find himself, once again, behind Ash Ketchum and Drumstick.
Ash and Drumstick both cheer as they swerve to the right on the upcoming curve. Pipsy the Mouse is now approaching Ash and Drumstick.
Ash watches as Pipsy raises her arm, a blue object in her hand.
Ash winces in horror. "Oh...no..."
He realizes too late what is going on, and a projected rocket missile slams into his Formula-1 car, blasting apart forcefully. Ash lands awkwardly on the snow, just outside of the minefield. As he recovers, Drumstick passes him.
Two slippery curves later, icy walls rise high on either side of the racers, and they hurtle forward inside of a twisty, narrow path.
Krunch, now gripping three green shells, seizes the perfect opportunity and throws them into the wall of the passage, causing them to reflect wildly back and forth, increasing in speed. He barely makes it through. The ones in first and second will have a nasty surprise...he zooms forward, approaching Diddy Kong and Drumstick.
Drumstick attempts to block Krunch, but the two heaviest characters of the 10 Diddy Kong Racers collide, but Krunch succeeds, slamming Drumstick into the ice.
Krunch zooms ahead, and now approaches Diddy. They pass a closely-packed group of item boxes, and Krunch manages to snag two against the rules. He ends up with six mushrooms, three per box. He holds down the button with his knee, steers with his left hand, and drops in the mushrooms one by one as he rockets forward at a blinding speed. The boost lasts for 20 seconds, and he manages to pass Diddy, Tiptup, Pipsy, and Drumstick.
Master Hand observes the scene, and he nods accordingly. "My, oh my. This race is certainly starting to get more and more competitive. Will the racers be able to make it out of the cold?" He announces, "You'll have to wait after the commercials to find out."
The snow was falling down from the blue sky. On the soft, white snow were tall, pine trees, their pine needles covered with snow. The racers tried their best to drive carefully through the snow, but they would have to brave the tough weather and the cold, icy racecourse...
Birdo steered to the left turn as she drove on the blue-colored road. She grabbed a banana peel from an item box, and tossed it behind her. She grinned as she watched Kirby spin out of control and ended up in the snow. Birdo then jumped over the small ramp, across the small stream of water and landing on the other side of the road. Birdo swerved to the right, avoiding a few snowmen, but she was then rammed into the tall, ice sculpture of Birdo, by Krusty the Clown.
"Hey hey! Not much of a good race for ya, huh? Hoohoohoohoohaahaa!" The renowned clown from Springfield laughed, sliding to the right curve as he headed towards the narrow ridges.
Birdo fumed, and she started up her pink kart again. She resumed driving, turning to the left to run over a mushroom, which gave her pink kart an extra boost of speed. Power sliding to the right curve and bouncing over the small pile of snow on the road, Birdo swerved leftwards in between the tall-rising ridges. She spotted Krusty ahead, in his Klown Limousine.
"I'll show him..." Birdo thought quietly to herself as she drove behind Krusty, turning on the right bank and swerving leftwards. Grabbing a mushroom from the item boxes, Birdo tossed it into the engine tank of her pink kart, and pushed towards the right bank as she slid on the outer bend of the curve. She then came neck-to-neck with Krusty the Clown.
Krusty screamed, surprised to see Birdo. "Ahh! Where did you come from?" He rammed Birdo into the left wall, and zoomed ahead.
Birdo growled, grabbing a hookshot she received from a previous item box way back on the snowy racecourse and fired it at the tailgate of Krusty's limo, which allowed her pink kart to be dragged behind by the limo without using too much of the engine. Krusty glanced back to see Birdo, and he rammed into the left wall again, attempting to get rid of Birdo. Birdo pressed on, holding on tightly to the steering wheel as Krusty's limo slid inwards on the right bend, Birdo's pink kart being dragged closely behind. Birdo then watched as Krusty took out a bomb and tossed it at Eliwood and Lyn, causing the married Fire Emblem characters to be blasted into the air and land on top of the snowy ridges, their vehicle being burnt and damaged, and landing upside down on the top of the snowy ridges as well.
Sliding again inwards on the right curve and using a mini turbo on the incoming left bank, Krusty again rammed his limousine into the right wall. Little did he know that he was damaging his limo, and Birdo used this to her advantage as he grabbed a red Koopa shell from another Item box. As Krusty slid a bit downwards the right, smooth bank of the narrow road, Birdo released the hookshot, and her pink kart split up with the limo as Krusty once again rammed into the right wall. He then gasped in shock as Birdo appeared next to him, winking, and then slowing down, releasing the red Koopa shell. The red Koopa shell hit the limo, and it caused Krusty to go spinning around, landing on the river ahead on the right side. Birdo cheered, and she coasted across the wooden-built bridge, going upwards and turning left as she glanced behind her to see the tall-rising ridges disappearing into the distance behind her.
The snow continued falling down from the dark blue sky, and as the racers braved through the cold wind, they steered carefully on the icy road of the Birdo Mountains racecourse.
Tiptup the Turtle drove in his light-blue hover, easily steering on the icy road. Turning on the right curve and bouncing over the snow, Tiptup ran over a zipper and the hover propelled faster, going over the small ramp ahead. Tiptup then steered to the right, heading into the cold, icy water. He glanced behind him to see Lt. Gigan and MechaAnguirus knock out a few of the snowmen on the road.
Tiptup then screamed as his hover got plunged under the water, the cold temperature freezing Tiptup's semi-scaly skin. As he got his hover back up, Tiptup looked to his right, to see a red, scaly fish hopping up and down several times in the water. Sighing, Tiptup started up his hover again, and moved towards the right, approaching the land. He then bounced up onto the snow, swerving to the right and turning left, avoiding several, snow-covered pine trees. Tiptup then started to head downhill, behind Lt. Gigan and MechaAnguirus. As Tiptup hopped over a small ramp and turned to the right, he was attacked my a missile. Starting up his hover again, he saw Wile E. Coyote blasting away on his rocket.
Fuming, Tiptup turned his light-blue hover into a light-blue plane, and flew over the snow hills. Tiptup was then bumped into, and he started to head down, but managed to retain control and went up again, after turning to the left. To his surprise, Tiptup saw Krunch - riding in his orange plane - appear right behind him, the Kremling coming closer as the two reptilian racers flew to the right and headed into the small cavern entrance. Going through a zipper in the air, Tiptup held on as he steered to the right, while Krunch headed upwards and went through a secret path upwards. The kremling then flew out of the cavern and was high up in the sky, seeing the finish line in the distance.
Tiptup flew out of the cavern after turning to the right, and he turned his light-blue plane into a high accelerated kart, steering westwards to the right, under a snowy arch. He then started going upwards the icy path, and then ran over a zipper, blasting through the ramp and landing on the other side of the road. Tiptup held his breath as the kart went into a small stream of water in the middle of the path and turned right, going over a zipper to propel back onto the icy road, gasping as he grabbed a bomb from an Item Box and tossed it at Wile E. Coyote, causing the coyote to explode and fall down on the soft, freezing snow.
Krunch then flew downwards, and he started to fire missiles at Tiptup. Tiptup screamed as one of the missiles hit the kart, and caused it to swerve into the wall. Krunch chuckled, but he then screamed as he was zapped by lighting bolts from Master Ghidorah - the gigantic, golden, three-headed dragon and his lackey beetle monster, Sir Megalon, was steering in a golden chariot. As the racers sharply turned to the left, Ghidorah rammed his chariot into Krunch, causing the Kremling to crash into the frozen, tall wall. Krunch moaned, and as he and his orange plane popped back to normal, he noticed that Wile E. Coyote was zooming back on the road again on his rocket, followed by Tiptup (in his light-blue hover). Growling with rage, Krunch turned his orange plane into an orange hover, and steering downwards towards the right, he followed Tiptup and Wile E. Coyote, attempting to pass them.
Elsewhere on the Birdo Mountains racecourse, Birdo steers carefully downwards the right curve. She runs over a zipper, and goes propelling over the soft, freezing snow. Birdo then bounces over a random banana peel, and she turns to the left, tossing a boomerang at Sephiroth, which causes the one-winged angel to spin out of control and into the cold, icy water.
Birdo giggles, but she screams as she is then pelted with fiery flames from Krusty the Klown, who's using hot air balloons to boost his limousine's speed. Birdo fumes, and she tossed behind a brick, which impales Krusty in the head. After turning to the left and going under a snowy arch, Birdo swerves to the right and zips over a zipper, blasting over a ramp and going downwards, under another snowy arch as she turns right. Krusty then reappears behind her.
"You just don't seem to give up, don't you?" Birdo asked as she released several mines behind her, hoping that Krusty would bump into one of them.
Krusty swerves and easily misses all of the mines, before he rams Birdo into the left side of the incoming snowy arch. "Screw you, dino chick! Krusty's got no time for clownin' around!" He laughed and turned to the right, heading upwards.
Birdo fumed, and she followed, grabbing a mushroom on the icy cold road and using it to propel her pink kart, swerving all the way to the right. She then jumped over the small ramp in the middle of the road, and her kart went faster as it sped downhill. Birdo then bumped into the back of Krusty's limo, causing the famed TV clown to crash into a snowman mine. Birdo cheered, and she pressed on, turning to the right and going down a spiral, heading under a taller snowy arch as she sped into a small, dark cavern.
All the racers zoomed off. The audiences watch a giant screen to keep track of the racers.
Master Hand looked at the screen, and he announced, "Well, ladies and gentlemen, the Yoshi Series and Diddy Kong Racing bosses are WAAAY in the lead, with Bowser's group right on their tails. Some of the racers in the ice caverns are havin' a hard time themselves, with most of the otber racers eliminated. Now let's go check up on Boshi."
The screen switched its monitor to Boshi, who was maintaining 15th place. He managed to get pass Sonic/Amy, which he needed since Shelia the Stegosaurus was right in front of him. Boshi took out a rocket and blew off its container. The rocket blew out fire, and Boshi's car sped ahead to catch up.
Shelia turns around to see Boshi coming. "I knew that this was gonna be helpful one of these days," Shelia said to herself, as she took out a balloon and used its air to go faster.
Boshi noticed this and he scoffed. "Feh! I'll show her that a rocket's better than a balloon..." He said to himself, as he grabbed a hookshot from a item box and aimed. As he got the perfect place to aim, Boshi fired the hookshot, which landed right on target.
"Bingo!" Boshi said to himself in triumph, as he used his rocket to boost up again, and ended up next to Shelia.
"Nice to be next to a lady," Boshi commented.
Shelia jumped in surprise to see Boshi right next to her. "BOSHI? Oh..oh my...goodness," She said calmly, "What are you doing here, right next to my car?"
Boshi smirked, which made Shelia even more confused. "I understood that us Yoshi Kart racers ALWAYS stick together, no matter what happens. That's the creedo."
Shelia gasped, and she smiled in joy. "You...you mean...Boshi, do you really mean...!"
Boshi grinned and nodded. "That's right, Shelia. Now let's go help our fellow Yoshi Kart racers and win this race."
Shelia gave Boshi two of her thumbs up and smiled. "You got it, Boshi!" Shelia said, as she revved up her car even more.
Boshi released the hookshot, which fell onto the ground. Than at the last moment, both Shelia the yellow Stegosaurus and Boshi the blue Yoshisaurus zoomed ahead to catch up with the leaders.
"AHHH!" The lovable cereal character, Lucky, shouted, as he continued to run from a swarm of kids.
"Get 'im!" One of the kids shouted. Lucky gulped.
"They're after me lucky charms! Help! HEEEEEEEELP!" Lucky cried, as he continued to run.
Suddenly, Lucky was grabbed on the arm by Shiek. Lucky sighed of relive.
"Oh, thank you-" Lucky was cut short as the car was blasted into a lake. Peach's group and Lucky groaned and mumbled as the culprits, Donald Trump and Groundskeeper Willie/Earthworm Jim, passed by.
"Look! There he is! Quick, chase after him! He's getting away!" The kids shouted at several times, as they ran into another direction.
"DAMN!" Chad gasped, as he adjusted his mask and looked at Lucky.
Lucky shook Chad's hand as he got inside Peach's car. "Oh, thank you. I owe many-"
"It's all right," Peach said, sweetly. "You can come with us so that those kids won't bother with you anymore."
Lucky smiled at this generosity he has been given, and he smiled. "I'll do anything to help you win the race, then!" He said.
Everyone else smiled, and they continued to speed off in Peach's car, who were now catching up to Boshi and Shelia.
"Now Peach's group are backon the road, with Boshi/Shelia, Donald Trump, and Groundskeeper Willie/Earthworm Jim in front. Let's see how the Koopa Kids are doing," Master Hand annou8nced, as the screen changed.
The Koopa Kids were having trouble with the Great Mighty Poo, who were way ahead of the racers in the ice caverns.
"You're not going to win this race!" The Great MIghty Poo shouted, as he fired a pile of, well, crap at the Koopa Kids' battleships.
"Eww! That's so disgusting!" Lemmy said, as he blew away the gross stuff with a blast from his cannon.
The Great Mighty Poo growled. "I'll show you!" He roared, as he summned several of his minions, and then started to sing so badly, Lemmy's ship exploded.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Lemmy cried, as he went soaring into the air.
Luckily in the nick of time, Larry grabbed his brother, and brought him (Lemmy) into his (Larry's) battleship.
"Phew...that was TOO close. Thanks, Larry," Lemmy thanked.
Larry smiled. "No prob, little bro."
"Oh yeah?" The Great Mighty Poo chuckled, "My grunts. Destroy those Koopa Kids!"
"Yes sir!" They saluted, as they summoned flying battleships of their own and started firing at the Koopa Kids.
"GAH!" Larry and Lemmy cried in pain.
"They're all over me!" Larry shouted.
"Sue us. We're gettin' careless," Roy said bluntly to his brothers.
Lemmy rolled his eyes. "Join the club."
Morton growled. He turned to Bowser Jr. "Damn it, Bowser Jr., what's takin' you so long?"
Bowser Jr. sighed. "Hey, I'm tryin' to win a race here."
Unknown to the Koopa Kids or the Great Mighty Poo, Baby Mario and Baby Luigi were zooming up close, ready to attack.
"Get ready to launch the Chain Chomp, Baby Luigi!" Baby Mario yelled, as Baby Luigi picked up a pocket chomp capsule.
"You got it, Baby Mario!" Baby Luigi aimed at the Great Mighty Poo.
The Great Mighty Poo laughed, not knowing that the younger versions of the Mario Brothers were behind him or the Koopa Kids. "What's the matter with you kids? No glib remark. No pithy comeback."
"Shut up!" Roy and Morton angrily shouted in unison, as they started firing at the Great Mighty Poo.
"GRAGH!" The Great Mighty Poo said, as he suddenly stopped to heal his wounds.
Baby Mario looked at Baby Luigi. "Launch the Chain Chomp as soon as that pile of poop pass us." Baby Mario told Baby Luigi.
Baby Luigi nodded. "Okay, Baby Mario!"
And just like they predicted, the Great Mighty Poo got back up and chased after the Koopa Kids.
"Heh. Those babies were so easy to pass," The Great Mighty Poo chuckled to himself.
"NOW!" Baby Mario shouted.
"OKAY! LET'S-A GO!" Baby Luigi added, as he summoned the Chain Chomp.
"What the f-" The Great Mighty Poo said in disbelief.
The grunts and the Koopa Kids were just as confused.
Babies Mario and Luigi came flying at the Great Mighty Poo and sent him and some of his underlings flying off the track with their Chain Chomp.
"Yeah!" Baby Mario cheered.
"Take-a that-a!" Baby Luigi added, as they continued ahead.
Great Mighty Poo growled as his troops helped bring him back onto the racetrack. The Koopa Kids smiled and continued.
We see that all of the other racers have arrived in the icy caverns, and have helped Yoshi and Friends defeat all of the flunkies.
"We're not gonna survive this..." A troop said to his other friends.
Max groaned, as his stomach growled. "So...hungry..." he moaned," Need...food..."
Yoshi looked at Max, and then came up with a good idea. "Maybe I'll have a little snack." He said, as he then ate several of the troops by using his tounge.
"MY FRIENDS!" The One Troop shouted.
"Heh, you're gettin' creamed by a bunch of racers!" Kazooie taunted.
The troop gasped. He knew that he wouldn't last so long.
"You'll never get me alive!" hHe shouted, as he started to run out of the ice cavern.
Pikachu stood on top of the car he was in and prepared a Thunder Bolt attack. "I'll handle this," Pikachu said.
"WAIT! LISTEN!" Navi the Fairy shouted.
"Guh?" Pikachu said in confusion.
"What is it, Navi?" Link asked.
Navi explained, "Watch out for falling shadows from the sky."
The troop made a weird face. "Huh? What is she talking abou-"
Suddenly, several of the Great Mighty Poo's troops who were blasted by the Koopa Kids fell on top of the flunky, and thus, has covered him completely.
"Ewww..." Everyone said in disgust.
Master Hand shuddered, as he looked at the audience. "Well, everyone is together now, except for the leaders. Speaking of which, let's see how they're doing."
Bowser's group was on par with the YS/DKR bosses, while King Kong swung from behind. Lt. Gigan and MechaAnguirus have arrived just in time.
"System check. Engines check. Sunglasses...check. Prepare to fire," Lt. Gigan told MechaAnguirusu.
MechaAnguirus aimed at the upcoming racers. "Yes, sir," He said, as he fired a beam at the upcoming racers, which sent several of them crashing.
"Excellent shot," Lt. Gigan commented, as he continued to race with the leaders.
Godzilla growled, but then remembered something. He can go underground. "Hey! Anguirus!" Godzilla shouted to Anguirus.
Anguirus looked at Godzilla. "What is it, Godzilla?"
"How about we go underground to pass the leaders?" Godzilla suggested.
Anguirus smiled. "Now that's what I'm talking about!" He said, as both he and Godzilla dug underground, and both Captain Falcon and Koopa/Paratroopa/Goombella/Goombario have passed the two holes, with Yoshi/Dr. Hoshi, May/Misty/Max, and Banjo-Kazooie behind.
"You better not compete with me, Koopa!" Captain Falcon shouts at Koopa.
Koopa scoffs at Captain Falcon's sad attempt to gain respect. "Why should I listen to you?"
"Yeah, we can cream you anyday," Paratroopa added.
Captain Falcon narrowed his eyes at Paratroopa. "Oh really? Well take this!" Captain Falcon retorts, as slams his car against the side of Koopa's car.
"HEY!" Goombella shouts.
"Yeouch!" Goombario adds.
Paratroopa was nearly sent out of the car. He growled. "Hey! What's the big idea?"
Koopa's eyes were now turned into balls of flame. "How dare you? Think you can tell us to shove off, and then you ram us? Well, have a piece of THIS!" Koopa shouts.
Koopa then takes out triple green shells and throw them at Captain Falcon's engine. Captain Falcon is now seen flying as his car engine explodes, and several parts of his car come crashing down.
"Ha!" Koopa laughs.
"In your face!" Paratroopa adds.
"Beat that!" Goombella said.
Goombario smiled. "Yeah-WHU OH!" He suddenly said, as he stopped the car. Several other cars have also stopped, and soon, everyone who was behind Koopa's group have stopped.
"Hey," May said to Koopa. "What's goin' on?"
Koopa looked at May. "All of the racers have stopped because of the sign in front."
The camera that was held by a nearby Lakitu panned up to the sign, which read:
"BEWARE! WALKING LOGOS!"
Everyone, including Lakitu and the Camera (!) were surprised and confused.
"...What?" Peppy said in disbelief.
"Walking logos?" Dr. Hoshi added.
A Nintendo 64 logo walks its way across the street. It stops in the middle and watches a Buzzbomb from the bestsleller game "Banjo-Kazooie" flies by. The logo shruggs whatever shoulders it has and walks to the other side. A Rareware logo pops up in the middle of the street and the Buzzbomb flys into it from behind. The Rareware logo disappears and the Buzzbomb falls down and dies.
Banjo awed at the sight of the scene before him. "So that's where the intro came from," He said.
Everyone shrugged, and they all continued again, only to be stopped once more by...
"Oh no...OH NO!" Banjo shouted in disbelief.
"NOT GRUNTILDA WINKYBUNION!" Kazooie said in shoock.
Gruntilda laughed evilly. "Heeheeheeheehaahaahaa...that's right, bear and bird. And this time, the race idn't oing to be a walk in the park. I've prepared my best troops to cause trouble for you in the next race, and you got no time to survive."
"Heh, see you later, worms," Wizpig said, as he flew ahead of the others.
"Hey!" Banjo shouted.
"Get back here!" Tiptup shouted, as Gruntilda cackled.
"Good luck this time. See you in the next race!" She cackled, as she disappeared.
Yoshi scratched his head. "Dang, this fanfic is really getting to our heads, isn't it?"
Dr. Hoshi stared at Yoshi strangely. "Yoshi, what in God's name are you talking about? Fanfic? This...is...REAL LIFE!"
"Oh, yeah, I forgot. My bad," Yoshi apologized.
Birdo sighed. "Can we please finish this race, please? These cold mountains are driving me crazy."
"Yeah," Shelia added. 'And besides...it's not like that we're gonna get first in this one."
"She has a point," Rocky added. "In fact, the Yoshi Series and Diddy Kong Racing bosses are probably at the lead right now."
"Then what are we standin' here for?" Sonic shouted. "Let's go!"
The other racers nodded and cheered, as they zoomed away to get to the finish line.
"ZzzzzzZzzzzZzzz..." Master Hand snored, as he snoozed away.
"Um...Master hand...you're on live..." a Lakitu cameraman said.
Master Hand gasped, as he looked at the camera, and then at all of the racers.
"Ourgh! Boy, what a strange dream I must've had...first we get a little side-tracked, and now this. Oh, all right. All of the racers have successfully passed the finish line, and the results shall be shown." Master Hand stated after clearing his voice.
"Wait a minute!" Baby Mario shouted. Everyone looked at him.
"What's the trouble, Baby Mario?" Master Hand said.
Baby Mario placed his hands on his hips. "You have never shown us the results ever since the Ankylosaurus Land race! What is up with that?"
Master Hand lowered his head. "All right, you know what?" He said to the racers and the entire audience. "I'll let a few more racers join, and then no more. I'll have the results for all of the racers after the Sauropod Forest when the last race finishes. Are you happy now?"
Baby Mario nodded. "I sure am."
"Well, let's not waste this perfectly good break on talking," Yoshi said, as he headed towards the hotel.
"Let's go get some rest," Peppy Ankylosaurus said, as he, the Yoshi Kart crew, the other racers, and the entire audience followed. The next race will take place tomorrow.
Several minutes after the racers left the race course, Master Hand returned in a puff of white smoke. "Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's-" He shivered. "BRRRR! It's FREEZING out here!"
"Then why didn't you bring a sweater?" Suggested a warm and coat-wearing Lakitu, protecting his camera with another coat around it.
"I don't know!" Master Hand snapped, before he cleared his throat and turned to face the camera, "Anyway, as I was saying, here are the socres for...well, for the neglected Birdo Mountains race! After all, scores do matter, right?" He laughed nervously, before he sighed and understood that no one was paying any attention. He then turned to face the scoreboard.
All of the racers went to take a glimpse of how they did. Most were satisfied, others were disappointed. But they all knew that they would do better in the next race, so they moved on.
"There!" Master Hand exclaimed, turning to face Baby Mario as he pointed at the big nosed human baby, "Are you happy now?"
Baby Mario rubbed the back of his head. "Well...sorta, but I have a complaint." He gasped, and then screamed loudly, "HOW THE HELL ARE SEVERAL CHARACTERS IN THEIR SAME POSITIONS!?"
"Hey, settle down," Master Hand said, trying to calm Baby Mario down, "It's not like the guy in charge of the scoreboard is too lazy to actually show what happened to the rarely mentioned racers at all, so he basically gives them the same score from before and repeats and repeats and repeats."
Baby Mario tilted his head. "You mean like increasing the word count for no apparant reason?"
Master Hand nodded. "Like increasing the word count for no apparant reason."
Several very annoying, repetitive minutes later...
Baby Mario blinked. "You know...we just said the same damn sentences over and over for six times now, do you realize that?" He asked Master Hand.
Master Hand shrugged. "Ehhh...guess you have a point."
Birdo then grabbed Baby Mario by the arm. "C'mon, Baby Mario! We're having pancakes with icicle frosting!" She told him, smiling.
"Oh boy!" Baby Mario cheered, running into the McDonald's with Birdo.
Master Hand floated there for several seconds, and he let out a sigh. "Phew, thank God. Now I can disappear in a puff of purple or white smoke...and read my favorite book." He then disappeared in a puff of white smoke, preferring white over purple.
Disclaimer: That's all-
Porky Pig: A-herm! That's the Looney Tunes characters ending.
Disclaimer: Sue me.
Porky Pig: ...Okay, I will!
Bugs Bunny: Let me do it. (Takes out a carrot) That's all, fo-
Porky Pig: NO! It's MY phrase, I shall say it.
Bugs Bunny: (Shrugs)
Porky Pig: T-t-t-t-that's all, fo-(The entire scene fades to black) Frickin' dime. (Leaves)
Author's Note: WHAT Porky meant to say was that that's all for this race, folks, but get ready for the next one. Cause it will be hot, hot, HOT! ...Sorry 'bout that. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this race chap!
Daffy Duck: You're despicable. You didn't even include me. Prick.
Lola Bunny: Hey, he didn't include me either.
Daffy Duck: No one cares about you, doll.
Lola Bunny: ...What were we talking about again?