"Man, are you guys in for a laugh riot when you read these author's notes!" Master Hand exclaimed to the audience as they followed the racers, with the rather embarrassing author notes of the good old days playing out.
AN: Since today is the last great day of summer, I shall honor it's coming by doing the 52nd chapter of Yoshi Kart. Oh summer of 2006, how I will miss you so! Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy the chapter! I just want to get this out of the way, but it's this chapter that Banjo/Kazooie, Mario/Luigi, and Koopa/Paratroopa steal the show for once. Also notice that this is possibly the only race where Yoshi/Dr. Hoshi and May/Misty/Max play second fiddle. Why? Go read their parts of the previous chapters, then compare them to the other racers. See what I mean? Second fiddle. And if you want to blame why this part is crazier than the other racing parts, then you can once again look at Milleniumon the Sonic/Amy Rose (or simply Sonamy) Freak, who I also like to thank again, because he was the only one who actually helped me for this chapter and the previous one before. Oh well. Enjoy!
"Hey! How come we don't get to say a word!?" Yoshi snapped from his Turbo Yoshi kart.
"Shut up and read the fucking chapter," Dr. Hoshi said as he was fixing up the vehicle while they weren't in the spotlight.
Disclaimer: We don't own all of the official characters and all the fan-made characters belong to their owners respectfully. On a side note, all the fan-made members of the original 10 Yoshi Kart racers belong to Yoshizilla. And no, we don't own the random fat nudists, nor do we own (shudders) Pee Wee Herman. That's right, you read correctly. PEE WEE HERMAN. You have been warned. One More Thing... GOOD-BYE AND BEST WISHES, SUMMER OF 2006! SEE YOU IN 2007!
"Great, give them the spotlight while we're all wasting time hitting each other," Zelda exclaimed as she fired back some of her spells at the other racers.
"Hey, I'm warning you right here and right now miss, do it again and you're in for a world of hurt, believe me. You hit me, and you're fired!" Donald Trump exclaimed as he was boosted by the powers of being a future president of the United States, using his charm to Make Zelda Great Again as the princess of Hyrule allowed him to grab her by the ghoulies.
"Get it? It joke! Todokete!" Pichu exclaimed as she chucked some bits of her cheesecake high, y'know INTO THE AIR, squealing as she did nothing but be cute.
Dr. Mario sighed as he was driving the car, watching Donald Trump ram into them as the doctor wiped his forehead with his right arm. "Mamma mia... I still wonder why I bothered to join this stupidity..."
"Wahey!" Boggy the polar bear exclaimed as he rode away on his boggling sled, deciding to be barely relevant for once in the story, with his appearance being a polar contrast from how things were.
"As if things weren't annoying enough, now we have bad jokes," Rodan groaned as he flew high in the sky.
"You're telling me," Battra added as he too was flying, quite annoyed. "Even worse, this is our only appearance!"
"At least you guys get to race, however barely it is!" Megaguirus complained as she watched from one of the grassy hills, hissing as she flapped her wings quickly. "I don't get a benefit of the doubt!"
"FILTH!" Oscar the Grouch bellowed as he just did what he did best, chuck his trash everywhere, y'know ON THE RACE TRACK.
"Faster, can't you see, we need this race to be about you and me!" Gruntilda Winkybunion cackled as she was casting spells at the other racers to make them go slower.
"Hurr... I'm trying my best..." Klungo added as he swerved between Hector and Squall, who were both baffled by the pair.
Watching high in the sky were Arceus and Dry Bowser, who were having a race of their own on the clouds, deciding to get some racing fun for themselves as they both rode in white colored pipe framed karts.
"See? i told you checking in on our friends while fluffing up popular old stories would be a good idea!" Arceus stated as he speed up on the puffy road made of clouds.
Dry Bowser shook his head as he swerved around a corner that could have had him fall off, sighing. "Well, it's not like we had a choice... it was either us being here, or the same stupid list from before." He then was blasted by a winged spiny blue shell that Arceus summoned, with it hitting him as Arceus laughed, only for the angered skeletal reptile to get revenge by pulling out a potted Piranha Plant and sicking it on Arceus.
Petey Piranha watched this while skydiving in the sky high above the Waterwind Valley, laughing at both of the races that were occurring before him as he knew that his day would come and pay off the cameo he was making at the moment, deciding to not have a care in the world.
Anyway, now that we got both the racing action and the ancient notes of embarrassment outta the way...
Mario and Luigi were zooming right for Banjo and Kazooie, passing the other racers. Eventually, they finally passed the Flying Krock and claimed 2nd place, where Banjo-Kazooie were right in front of the two famous Mario Brothers. And if there's anything that gave the bear and bird quite a scare, it's the fact that it was the legendary Mario Bros., who were professionals at kart racing, let alone racing in general.
Mario smiled, and he gave Luigi a thumbs up sign, letting his younger brother steer. "All right! We're-a almost there-a, Luigi!" He announced.
Luigi cheered, throwing his fist into the air while holding onto the wheel. "Yeah! We're gonna be-a number 1!"
Kazooie turned around, gawking in disbelief as she moved about her red feathers. "What the? D'oh! Banjo, we got trouble!"
Banjo turned around, and gulped, rubbing the back of his head nervously as he was steering his vehicle. "Uh oh... looks like the Mario Brothers manage to get here without wasting any time." He took out a golden feather and used it to protect him and Kazooie for a brief while.
Kazooie saw a green Glowbo just bouncing about on the track, and somehow grabbed it with one of her wings. She threw the green Glowbo into the car. "Hold on, Banjo!" She shouted.
A few seconds later, the green Glowbo did its magic, and Banjo/Kazooie started going faster than usual using the green Glowbo's magic.
"Yeehaw!" Banjo and Kazooie cheered, as they zoomed further.
Mario slammed his fist onto his car roof. "Damn it! They got the Glowbo! We'll never catch up to them now!'
Luigi sighed. "Don't worry, Mario." He looked into the bag that contained several items. "I'll give us a triple pack of mushrooms to get us back close to Banjo and Kazooie."
Mario smiled, taking the wheel from Luigi while nodding. "Okay-a, Luigi. I'll leave-a you to that-a." He turned his attention to the road again.
Koopa and Paratroopa fired their green and red Koopa shells at Peach's group. Luckily, it actually managed to hit, and the two turtles gave each other high fives as they sped past Peach and her friends, thankful that their shells from hell did their dirty work.
"Frickin' sweet!" Koopa cheered as he moved about in an excited manner, "We actually manage to get pass the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom!"
Paratroopa laughed. "Yeah, as if we haven't done it for 50 times now. Anyway..." He picked up a McDonald's box that contained 10 McNuggets pieces, feeling confident enough to just sit back, relax, and eat. "You're thinking about eating now?"
Koopa nodded. "You bet." He picked up a Quarter Pounder Burger and munched into it while continuing to hold onto the steering wheel, getting a couple extra delicious french fries while he was at it, because if there's one thing McDonald's always did right, it was their high quality fries.
Paratroopa smiled, and then he ate one of the 10 McNuggets Pieces in addition to having some fries himself.
Peach got up, completely devastated from all the shells that attacked her group. "Aw man... Koopa and Paratroopa aren't kiddin' when they want to win the race..."
Chad the Charmander nodded as he adjusted his mask, which seemed a bit too big for him. "Yeah. It must have been very lucky for them to actually get passed us."
Sheik sighed as she dusted off her clothes. "Well, what do we do now?"
Professor E. Gadd took out a wrench and started fixing under Peach's car. "Well, we ought to fix up our car if we want to get back into the race."
Peach smiled. "Great idea, E. Gadd!" She took out a wrench from within the confines of her big poofy dress and joined E. Gadd.
Sheik and Chad looked at each other as they then both shrugged..
"I'll inflate the car tires," Chad said, taking out a hose connected to a pump of air.
Sheik nodded, taking out some needles. "And I'll take out the opponents that pass us." He got up onto the car seat and aimed at the racers who were approaching.
Chad shrugged, and he put the hose into one of the car tires. He got to the air pump and started pumping air into the tire.
Luigi got out a triple pack of mushrooms. "I got the mushrooms, Mario!' He threw them into the engine.
Mario nodded. "Okay! Hang on, Luigi!' He slammed his foot on the pedal, and it sent both Mario and Luigi hurdling towards Banjo and Kazooie.
On the side portion of the city section of the Waterwind Valley racecourse...
"Will this gosh darn race ever end...?" One of the older Triceratops villagers asked his neighbor, who was one of the elder Diplodocus villagers.
"I don't know," The Diplodocus replied, "But golly, everyone must like this race. It's as if people from different realms all came here to compete and be known as the best racers."
The Triceratops nodded. "Indeed." He then thought of something. "By the way, have you seen Molly lately?"
The Diplodocus shook his head. "No. Why?"
The Triceratops sighed. "Well, earlier today, she told me that she was going to go to that newly constructed stadium built by those Dinosaur Land bosses and their Diddy Kong Racing boss friends. It must be some sort of ceremony or somethin'."
The Diplodocus nodded, understanding. "You got a good point. But what us old folk are to do...?"
The Triceratops. "Yes. Especially considering that we have to be careful now on those... what the hell do they call them...?"
"...Roads..." The Diplodocus added in. "Dagnabit, if it weren't for that Master Hand feller, why, we'd probably be living here peacefully!"
The Triceratops nodded. "Well, things aren't just the same here in Dinosaur Land anymore..."
The Diplodocus sighed. "Yeah... guess you're right..."
The two elder dinosaurs looked at each other, sighed, and then at the racecourse, to see a few racers zoom by.
Meanwhile, on the waterfront section of the Waterwind Valley racecourse...
Zirdo felt the breeze blowing in her face, the green Birdosaurus enjoying this as she squealed. "Yeehaw! We're doing great!" She screamed as she whizzed past Bronto the Brontosaurus.
The six Yoshi Kart racers approached a bridge, which went up and down. Boshi, who was the Yoshi Kart racer ahead at the time, went jumping over the bridge, followed by Marge/Lisa and Bart/The Roadrunner.
"The bridge is going up! I love that!" Shelia the Stegosaurus shouted, wanting some action.
Birdo squinted as she saw a girl walking on the street. "Wait a minute... isn't that a girl?" She pointed out, pulling up next to Bronto.
Bronto shrugged after taking a glance for himself. "Probably not." He replied.
Heppy Ankylosaurus nodded as he pulled up next to Birdo. "It's probably just a sign."
Molly was a small, but intelligent 16-Year-Old Pteranodon girl, who lived nearby the Waterwind Village in her homeland, the Pterodactyl Cliffs. She loathed Yoshi Kart, even though the huge Grand Prix was loved by everyone in Dinosaur Land, as well as everyone else in the videogame universe. Molly wasn't aware about the Yoshi Kart racers zooming towards her.
"Well, one thing is certain, and we're not going to get over that bridge by just yapping!" Heppy shouted, "So let's go over it!"
Birdo, Zirdo, Shelia, and Bronto all nodded in agreement. "Right!"
The five dinosaur Yoshi Kart racers sped up to the rising bridge, and Molly was trying to get across before the gap was too big. She tripped and Zirdo swerved around the girl, not even caring who it was. She was obviously too caught up in the race.
Zirdo turned her attention briefly to Molly, and she gave the Pteranodon girl an angry glare. "Hey! Watch where you're going next time!" She shouted at Molly, a bit annoyed.
Molly growled, shaking her wing at Zirdo. "Oh yeah? Piss off, bi-" Molly was cut off by Bronto almost running her over. Molly evaded, but she lost balance on the sidewalk next to the cliff, and began her speedy descent to the sea.
Suddenly, right when Molly was about to plunge into the water, one of the Lakitus caught her with his rod, and he placed Molly back onto the racecourse.
"You should be careful next time, okay?" The Lakitu said, as it flew away to record the other racers.
"I nearly hit that girl! Can you believe it?" Zirdo exclaimed as she adjusted her green bow.
"So that was a girl that I saw back there!" Birdo shouted as she was glad that she wasn't going crazy.
"A girl, huh? Why would one just randomly walk onto the road when there's a race going on?" Shelia added as she felt her back plates move about to help ad her feelings of discomfort.
Heppy and Bronto stayed silent, for neither of the two male dinosaurs wanted to comment on what just happened, rather they just wanted to focus on the race and avoid the politics of genders altogether.
Back in the Waterfall section of the Waterwind Valley, Mario and Luigi were now neck and neck with Banjo and Kazooie.
Banjo turned around to see Mario and Luigi. "Uh oh! The plumbers are back, Kazooie!"
Luigi laughed. "Yeah! We're gonna win this race for sure!" he did a victory sign.
Kazooie sighed. "Just great. Now what?"
Right at that moment, Koopa and Paratroopa appeared next to Banjo and Kazooie.
Mario groaned, slapping his forehead. "Mamma mia! Not Koopa and Paratroopa again!"
Koopa grinned as he was glad that they were recognized as trouble, pointing and winking. "You got that right, Mario! We're not letting you and Luigi take the glory!"
Paratroopa nodded as he folded his arms in confidence. "Yeah! We got claims for 1st place this time!"
Mario growled. "Fire the bob-ombs, Luigi!" He shouted.
Luigi saluted. "Right!" he started looking in the bag for bob-bombs.
"Oh. I don't think so," Kazooie interrupted, as she fired grenade eggs at Koopa/Paratroopa and Mario/Luigi.
"Oh no!" Mario and Luigi shouted in unison. They quickly swerved away to dodge the grenade eggs, while Luigi knocked one of the grenade eggs back at Banjo and Kazooie with his hammer.
Koopa quickly threw a motion-sensor bomb onto Mario's car while the two plumbers were occupied. "Hehe! Gotcha!"
Paratroopa aimed his red shells at Banjo and Kazooie. "Fire away!" He threw the red shells at Banjo's car.
Banjo and Kazooie screamed as Luigi knocked the grenade eggs back into their car, and also having been hurdled by the red shells from Koopa/Paratroopa. But luckily, their car still had steam, and they zoomed off.
Luigi suddenly noticed the Motion Sensor bomb and shrieked in terror. He quickly pried it off and threw it back at the Koopas.
Paratroopa fired several green shells at Banjo/Kazooie, sending the bear and bird duo crashing up and down.
Koopa gasped. "Why you little!" He threw the motion sensor bomb back at Luigi.
Luigi knocked it back with his hammer.
Koopa gave a good kick at the motion sensor bomb, sending it into the mountainside. A huge explosion took place a few seconds afterwards.
"Phew..." Koopa sighed, wiping his forehead, "That was close."
Paratroopa nodded. "You can say that again." He took out some mines and threw them behind the Koopa Kart.
Banjo looked at his automaton map. "Hey Kazooie, you might want to take a look at this map."
Kazooie looked at the map, and she dropped her beak in disbelief. "Oh man! We have to go through several turns and curves in order to go over the bridge that leads to the stadium?"
Banjo nodded. "It appears so. Guess we have to try hard." He slammed his foot on the pedal, and took off to take the challenge of the turns.
Mario and Luigi were tossing mushroom after mushroom, trying to catch up with Banjo and Kazooie.
Koopa and Paratroopa were following Mario and Luigi, using rocket boosters to boost their engine.
Suddenly, a long jogging line of fat hair nudists came streaking in front of the lead racers, with the words "Only the ball bounce" on their stomachs.
Right behind the fat hair nudists was the infamous Pee Wee Herman, who was holding his dead Magikarp, Wee Wee. He appeared behind the men, and shouted, "HAHA!1"
"Hang on, Kazooie!" Banjo shouted, as he threw a random bomb into the engine, which sent his car jumping over the fat hair nudists and Pee Wee Herman.
Koopa and Paratroopa used the same trick, only they used a bob-bomb. Seeing how fat hair nudists were so wrong and disturbing, the two turtles gave Mario and Luigi and extra bo-bomb if the plumbers wanted to avoid the blockage. Looking back at the Mario Brothers one more time, Koopa and Paratroopa went flying over the fat hair nudists and Pee Wee Herman.
Pee Wee frowned. "Awww! We were gonna have fun!" He started sniffling.
Mario and Luigi looked ahead and yelled out in fright. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" They were so shocked and horrified, they crashed right into the nudists and Pee Wee Herman, sending them all into the air like bowling pins.
The Lakitu recording Mario and Luigi recorded what happened to the nudists and Pee Wee. "Sweet! This is gonna be racing gold!" He said, as he continued recording.
"AHHH!" Pee Wee screeched, as he and the nudists fell into a small lake that was formed from one of the waterfalls.
Banjo and Kazooie have made it through the blockage, but now they faced the challenge of the curves. Banjo made a sharp turn on left, then he made two curves right, followed by another turn left.
Pee Wee looked up. "Hey! Where's everyone going in such a hurry?" He shouted as he frowned, being the crazed freak of nature that he was, "We were gonna have some 'fun'!"
Mario and Luigi were racing as far from the fat, hairy nudists as possible.
Sadly, a few angry nudists started to chase the lead racers, their "balls" bouncing away.
Koopa and Paratroopa were facing worse problems than Mario/Luigi and Banjo/Kazooie were. Not only were the nudists started to chasing them, but also the curves became more difficult to get through.
"Koopa! Watch out!" Paratroopa exclaimed as he pointed at the curves ahead of them.
Koopa saw a jagged rock in front of him, and he made a sharp left turn, narrowly escaping the crash. He sighed of relief. "PHEW! That was too close..."
"WAIT FOR ME!" Pee Wee Herman shouted, as he ran to catch up with the angry mob of nudists, holding his dead Magikarp in his hands.
"Oh you gotta be kidding me!" Koopa and Paratroopa exclaimed in unison as they had disgusted looks on their turtle faces, having managed to hear Pee Wee's cry.
Banjo made another sharp turn on left, but he realized that there was a dead end approaching, so he took out a rocket booster and used it to zoom above the dead end.
Kazooie turned back and fired Ice Eggs at the angry nudists, freezing them in their paths. "Ha! Take that, you stupid, naked morons!" She laughed, "You can't get us while we're up in the air!"
Koopa and Paratroopa were working their way to catch up with Mario and Luigi. They used a tracking device from the map on their computer screen to follow the Mario Brothers.
Paratroopa gulped. "Are there anymore curves before we get to the bridge?"
Koopa sighed. "We'll just have to wait and see." He tossed a mushroom into the engine, and then with the car propelling at great speeds, Koopa and Paratroopa ended up neck to neck with Mario and Luigi.
Mario and Luigi were still traumatized by the nudists and were still popping the mushrooms like speed.
"Faster!" Mario said. "We've-a gotta avoid those-a naked fat guys!"
"I'm popping the mushrooms as-a fast as-a I can!" Luigi said panicking.
Then another group of nudists jumped onto the Mario Bros' kart and started peeing on them.
Mario and Luigi were completely PISSED, if you'd pardon the accidental humor.
"I mind," Said a random nerd in the audience.
Whatever. Anyway, the Mario Brothers were smacking away the nudists with their hammers as hard as possible.
Another group of nudists appeared on Koopa/Paratroopa's kart and started peeing all over them too.
Koopa and Paratroopa were paralyzed with disgust, and then they finally got the item that should deal away with the awful nudists: The fireballs. Grabbing both, Koopa and Paratroopa released the fireballs on the nudists, setting the naked morons on fire.
"Quick, Paratroopa!" Koopa shouted, "Zap them away with the lighting orb!"
Paratroopa nodded and got out the lighting orb. "Got it!" he then opened it up.
Suddenly, the sky turned darker, and thunder boomed in the air.
The Lakitu recording the scene looked up in confusion. "Huh? What the?" He then started feeling rain fall on him. "Oh lordy..." he took out an umbrella, as the thunder boomed louder.
Koopa and Paratroopa looked at Mario and Luigi. "Mario! Luigi!" They handed the plumbers two lighting-protected shields.
"These shields will protect you from being zapped," Koopa said.
Mario and Luigi readied the shields. "Thanks guys!" They happily said, waving.
"We appreciate this!" Luigi added on as he was glad that the Koopas decided to do something about this disgusting predicament.
"No problem!" Paratroopa shouted while nodding, and he then looked up at Banjo and Kazooie, who were still in the air. "Banjo! Kazooie! Catch!" He threw the lighting-protected shields at Banjo and Kazooie.
Banjo gave Koopa and Paratroopa a thumbs up sign as he placed the shield around the car. "Thanks, Koopa!" Kazooie grinned. "At least the racers are helping us escape peril." She then rubbed her chin. "But what were the shields for?"
Koopa laughed, grinning. "You're about to find out..."
Pee Wee Herman caught up with the knocked down nudists. "Hey guys! I'm here!" he laughed. "Can I play with your balls?"
The nudists suddenly started to all gang bang Pee Wee Herman, much to his delight.
"YAY!" Pee Wee shouted happily, "Finally! My wish came true!"
Mario and Luigi, needless to say, were horrified by that scene. "UGH!"
"Seriously?" Kazooie added in disgust.
"Tell me about it," Koopa sighed.
"I'd be surprised if Master Hand would let this footage go through," Paratroopa pinpointed as he dusted off his wings.
"So, uh... anyone else worried about those storm clouds...?" Banjo said as he pointed at the booming thunder and frequent lightning flashes.
At that exact moment, the thunderbolt from the lighting orb struck the nudists and Pee Wee Herman, sending them all the way into the stormy sky.
"Looks like Pee Wee is blasting off again!" Pee Wee Herman quoted, as he and the nudists disappeared, much to the relief of the trio of racers.
Koopa nodded as he felt satisfied with his planned assult. "Well, that's the last time we'll be seeing of those God awful nudists and Pee Wee Herman."
Mario nodded slowly, still disturbed by the events that happened earlier. "I hope so." He said warily. "That was heinous."
Paratroopa gasped as he saw the Waterwind Valley National Bridge, the bridge that lead to the stadium where the finish line was. "There! It's the bridge that leads to the finish line!"
Koopa cheered loudly. "Woohoo! Let's go!" He slammed the pedal, and his car went zooming onwards the bridge.
Banjo and Kazooie landed back on the ground, and zoomed after Koopa and Paratroopa.
Mario and Luigi, of course, wouldn't be out deemed of the race because of them being disturbed earlier, so they threw mushrooms into the engine and sped away on the bridge to catch up with Banjo/Kazooie and Koopa/Paratroopa.
Lakitu smiled as he watched the three racing leaders zoom off on the bridge. "Awesome. I wonder how much luck my brothers are having..." He said, as the scene changed.
Sonic/Amy/Shadow were burning rubber on mushroom power with Tails/Cream/Cheese behind them, taking 32nd place from Haru Glory, even though Shadow was still blind after the nudist incident.
Amy frowned as she looked at Shadow. "Poor Shadow..." She said, "He didn't deserve what he got."
Sonic nodded in agreement. "Yeah. It's like this racecourse is haunted or something."
"Horrible..." Shadow shuddered. "I didn't need to see THOSE balls bounce.
"At least Moe and Charture got to take care of them," Tails admitted, smiling. "We don't have to see them again, at least."
"Wa-hay!" Boggy the Polar Bear shouted, as he passed by on his sleigh.
Yoshi/Dr. Hoshi and May/Misty/Max pulled up in between Sonic/Amy/Shadow and Tails/Cream/Cheese, but of course, May was still unconscious.
"Hey guys," Yoshi said, smiling, "What did we miss?"
Tails shook his head. "You're better off not knowing."
Yoshi shrugged. "Whatever you say, then."
Sonic shuddered. "Let's just say it involved…naked fat guys."
Max sweatdropped. "What? Naked fat guys..."
Misty shuddered. "Maybe we should just focus on the race instead of...you know...disgusting stuff..."
Max shuddered a bit, too. "Yeah...good point."
"Psyduck," Psyduck blurted out.
Unfortunately for these group of racers, at that moment, more naked fat male nudists streaked in front of everyone.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Misty and Max screamed, holding dearly on to each other.
"JESUS GOD!" Sonic vomited.
"EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!" Amy turned away in disgust, her eyes bleeding from the sight.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tails, Cream, and Cheese all shouted in horror.
"PSYAYAYA!" Psyduck shouted in horror.
Munchlax then appeared out of its Pokéball. "MUNCHLAX!" It shouted randomly.
Dr. Hoshi, however, wasn't paying any attention at the nudists, fortunately, as he was looking at the map on his screen. "Oh man, it looks like Mario/Luigi, Banjo/Kazooie, and Koopa/Paratroopa are gonna take the lead out for this race."
Yoshi sweatdropped. "What? Doc, you can't be serious!"
Dr. Hoshi sighed. "I'm serious. You want prove, here." He then showed footage on the screen, which revealed the live sequence of banjo/Kazooie, Mario/Luigi, and Koopa/Paratroopa speeding towards the stadium.
Yoshi frowned, and sighed. "Great...it couldn't get worse..."
And as Yoshi had said, it indeed had gotten much worse, as Pee Wee Herman came down from the sky, landing on the fat nudists.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Max screamed loudly, "It's the man from my nightmares!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tails, Cream, and Cheese all shouted in horror again.
Shadow heard everything going on. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" His eyeballs exploded in a shower of blood.
Dr. Hoshi slapped his forehead. "STOP SCREAMING!"
Pee Wee giggled. "Hiya, guys! You want to have some 'fun'?" He said, winking his left eye.
Max twitched his right eye in disgust. "No..." He then thought of something. "Wait a minute, how are we having these events if our vehicles are moving?"
"A good question, Max," Dr. Hoshi explained, "You see, this is a videogame grand prix, but it's also partially fanfiction, so we take the reality out of the natural events of the universe, then we add some make-belief stuff that doesn't exist, and then we sprinkle it down with donuts."
Yoshi, Misty, Max, Tails, Cream, Cheese, Psyduck, and even Munchlax all sweatdropped as they looked strangely at Dr. Hoshi. "Wha...?" "Chao...?" "Psyayaya...?" "Munch munch...?"
Up in the sky, the author gods who were working on Yoshi Kart were laughing insanely at the chaos.
"It wasn't me, I swear," One of the authors said, (P.S. this author's me. So sue me.) stepping away from the drawing board.
"Ahh, but it WAS I, MILLENIUMON THE SONAMY FREAK!" The other author said. "I couldn't help it. It was HILARIOUS!" He started laughing maniacally.
Sonic grumbled. "Crazy author..."
Amy shook her head. "What a nutcase." She agreed.
Yoshi only rolled his eyes. "And I thought King Kong was crazy enough, let alone he tried to take over Dinosaur Land," He added.
Shadow sighed. "Crap... Now I have no eyes..." He moaned, as he pointed to the empty sockets in his head.
Dr. Hoshi took out spare eyeballs. "Here you go," He said, handing the eyeballs to Shadow.
"Attention, all racers!" Master Hand announced, "We got the results for the leaders! Banjo and Kazooie got 1st place, with Mario and Luigi in 2nd, and Koopa and Paratroopa in 3rd! The closet racers to come close are James Bond and the Flying Krock!"
Shadow sighed with relief. "Thanks, Doctor Hoshi." He screwed the eyeballs in their sockets. "Aaaaaahhhhhh...much betta…"
Yoshi slammed his head onto his car hood. "Damn...there goes our chance at 1st for this race."
Sonic slapped his forehead. "Aw nuts..." He moaned.
Dr. Hoshi shook his head. "Well, no wonder. We're between 35th and 26th places. At this rate, the best we can probably get is 14th, 15th, 16th, and 17th places."
Yoshi shrugged. "Well, this race was really chaotic, so I wouldn't mind." He said, "After all, of all the race courses, this is indeed the craziest." He explained intelligently.
Sonic nodded. "You can say that again." He admitted.
Dr. Hoshi nodded. "Then let's stop dawdling and let's go!"
Yoshi nodded. "Right!" He slammed the pedal on his car, and the two dinosaurs went zooming off. Max and Misty followed afterwards, trying to catch up.
Tails gave Sonic a thumbs up. "C'mon, Sonic! Let's go get up and win this race for old times' sakes!"
Sonic returned the thumbs up. "You read my mind little buddy!"
Tails nodded, as he, Cream, and Cheese went zooming off to catch up with Yoshi/Dr. Hoshi and Misty/Max, leaving the nudists and Pee Wee Herman behind.
Sonic, along with Amy and Shadow, was zooming right beside Tails as he tried to catch up with Yoshi and the others.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," Master Hand announced again, "I have news. The Flying Krock has made it through the finish line in fourth place, with James Bond, who's riding the Flying Krock, taking 5th."
Heppy Ankylosaurus was speeding along towards the Waterfall section. He was with Bronto, seeing how they sped past the other Yoshi Kart racers. Anyway, in front of them were Marge and Lisa Simpson, but unbeknownst to the two dinosaurs, Homer Simpson and Abe Simpson were arriving.
"Woohoo!" Homer shouted. "We're almost there! We just gotta take out those two dinos!"
Bronto turned back to see Homer. "Uh oh! Homer Simpson and Abe Simpson, at 10 'O Clock!'
Abe waved the American flag in his hand. "Yeehaw! We won the Revolution War!"
Homer cocked up a shotgun from the front of the car. "SEE YOU IN HELL!" He shot at Bronto's back tires.
"Wha-HEY!" Bronto screamed, as he started losing control over his car. He growled and then fired homing missiles back at Homer's car. "Have some of this!"
Heppy sighed. "Oh boy, things don't seem to get easier, do they?" He then noticed several curves up ahead. He gulped. "Oh no..."
Well, now that we finally got some actual progress in the race, it seems that Banjo/Kazooie, Mario/Luigi, Koopa/Paratroopa, The Flying Krock, and James Bond (who was sitting on top of the Flying Krock, arguing with King K. Rool) have all passed the finish line, and thus, completed the 6th race on their benefits. Now all they have to do is wait for the other racers to show up. But what will happen to Yoshi, Sonic, Dr. Hoshi, Tails and their friends as they do their best to get to the finish line? And how will the Simpsons and both Heppy Ankylosaurus AND Bronto the Brontosaurus will cope with the curves coming up on the racecourse? And what exactly DID happen to the Yoshi Series and the Diddy Kong Racing bosses, anyway? You'll find out in the semi-final part of the Waterwind Valley next time…fufufufufufufufufufufufufufu…
To Be Continued!
(P.S.: Sweet! This chapter got over 4, 000 words! Yes!)