Yoshi Kart
AKA Ultimate Videogame Racing Grand Prix
By Yoshizilla
With help from Milleniumon the Sonamy Freak, Blackmage Jr., Mewlon, and Musashi the Master
Ran completely and announced by Master Hand and Taj the Magic Elephant
Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Did I mention that this is embarrasing to read? Probably the reason why I'm going through this. Yes, even I get embarrassed, it's my lot in life. ...You know what's more ironic? Now that I mashed everything up, this is longer than the individual chapters by themselves. But of course, that's because I snuck some new bits just for you guys. Hope you enjoy it. At least, if you get past these annoying author notes, of course.
Author's Notes: Wow. WOW. W-O-W. Ya know, as in amazing. It's been a very, very, VERY looooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooong time since I done this. And I have to give many thanks to Milleniumon the Sonamy Freak, who was the only partner out of all the partners helping me (Musashi the Master, Mewlon, Black Mage Jr.) who has helped me a whole lot. And of course, I have certain authors who caused me to stop for particular reasons…(eyes at you, Hoogiman). Anyway, this chapter will mark the end of the Waterwind Valley race, originally the last race of the Yoshi Kart Grand Prix, but turning into the craziest and longest of the races in the Yoshi Kart Grand Prix! Will the racers to come be as crazy, long, exciting, action-packed, or as funny as this race, or will it somehow end up being much darker and deeper into the storyline? Find out during this chapter: The End of the Waterwind Valley race!
Disclaimer: We don't own all of the official characters and all the fan-made characters belong to their owners respectfully. On a side note, all the fan-made members of the original 10 Yoshi Kart racers belong to Yoshizilla.
P.S. Don't worry, after this race ends, I'm planning on killing the alternate versions of the Fire Emblem characters Eliwood, Lyn, and Hector, so that there's no confusion to be spread. And I have to warn you, this chapter will indeed be LONG, so you have been warned.
P. S. S. This chapter is so wet in water, we had to find another watering spot just to keep the fanfic fresh and special. Why? Because we care about the life of living things and non-living things. Are non-living things actually living? The universe will NEVER know…a-herm.
P. S. S. S. This is just a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very stupid attempt to just increase the word count to be over 100 words, and to keep you, the great viewers, completely interested into the fanfic. So that's all my rambling. Yup. So…enjoy.
P. S. S. S. S. You probably recognize these from the previous chapter. This is because I'm very lazy. Lawls.
P. S. S. S. S. S. S. Don't you just love these P. S.? I do. XP
P. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. Woot! Over 3,000 words! And with even more words and sentences such as this one that I'm typing right now that also breaks the fourth wall because it's funny should also increase the word count, and get the viewers reading this stupid thing a lot, lot, LOT more interested in the story. So with all that crap said, I leave you to enjoy the real deal: THE FINAL PART OF THE WATERWIND VALLEY RACE! YEAH!
List of Racers:
"No, not again." Dr. Hoshi commented as he zapped the annoyingly huge list with a generic ray gun, sighing as he tossed the ray gun away. "I hate it when he pulls this shit."
"Wow…that's a long list," Yoshi said, looking up at the destroyed huge list of racers.
"We now return to you, the great viewers, our feature presentation," Said the mysterious voice from nowhere, as the fanfic started up again.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, 25 racers have already made it pass the finish line, with Godzilla and Anguirus being #25!" Master Hand announces.
Taj follows up. "Now, we focus our attention to the racers that are closest to the finish line. Let's check up on them!"
And like that, the screen changed to feature Heppy Ankylosaurus, who was zooming in his purple kart, with his friends Zirdo the Birdosaurus, Shelia the Stegosaurus, and Bronto the Brontosaurus behind. The racers in front of him were none other than Pipsy the Mouse and Drumstick the Rooster.
"So, you want some of this huh?" Bronto The Brontosaurus taunts, as he releases several missiles at Shelia The Stegosaurus.
Shelia laughed as she swerved her yellow kart to avoid the missiles. "You're going to have to do better than that, Bronto!"
Bronto gritted his teeth. "Very well, then!" He grabbed a mine and threw it ahead of Shelia's path.
Shelia screamed, and she made a sharp left turn to avoid the mine, scraping the left side of her kart completely in the progress.
Heppy Ankylosaurus watched all of this occurring, and he took the chance to speed off by throwing a mushroom into the engine. He started approaching Pipsy the Mouse and Drumstick the Rooster, who were fighgting with each other.
"Hmmm..." Heppy said to himself, "Maybe I should stay behind these two racers to avoid being blasted off the road..."
"Incoming!" Zirdo the Birdosaurus screamed, as a spiny shell hurtled towards Heppy.
Heppy screamed in horror. "GAH! No!" He quickly placed upon a blue shield on him, hoping it would protect him from the blast. Fortunately for the purple Ankylosaurus, it did, and the following explosion from the spiny shell only affected Zirdo and Bronto, which sent them spinning.
"Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa!" Zirdo and Bronto shouted, getting dizzy as their karts continue to spin around.
"My leg!" Fred Rechid screamed, as he was in the middle of revving up his fryers on the road for no reason, having the obligated cameo. "My leg..."
Shelia did her best to try and get her kart up and running, but it wasn't going as good as she expected. "Oh man...my car is really totaled..." She groaned to herself, looking at the left, crumpled side of her damaged kart.
Pipsy and Drumstick, on the other hand, were trying to push each other off the road so that they can get to the finish line first.
"Whatever you can do, I can do better. Whatever you do, I can do better than you," Pipsy sang in harmony.
Drumstick did the same. "No you can't."
"Yes I can," Pipsy remarked.
"No you can't," Drumstick taunted.
"Yes I can," Pipsy replied.
"No you can't," Drumstick continued.
"Yes I can," Pipsy retorted.
"No you can't," Drumstick again said in harmony.
Pipsy smirked. "Sure I can."
"Horray for redundancy," Heppy commented in a sarcastic tone as he rolled his eyes.
The two Diddy Kong Racing racers race further down the road, and they pass by Ash Ketchum.
"Huh?" Ash said scratching his head in confusion. "What the heck was that all about?"
Heppy zoomed up next to Ash. "It's best that you don't ask," Heppy suggested, as he zoomed off again to catch up with Pipsy and Drumstick.
Pipsy and Drumstick make several right and left turns to avoid the traps in the middle of the racecourse.
Heppy, watching the two racers, does exactly the same, although he scraps the back tire on his left side. Heppy, however, ignores that for now, as he keeps his sight on Pipsy and Drumstick.
"Okay, I'm currentely in 29th place and those two occupy 28th-27th places," Heppy said to himself as he looks at the screenboard on his kart, "Currentely in 26th place is Donald Trump." Heppy smiled. "No problem." He started to speed off again, but carefully as he continued to observe the two fighting Diddy Kong Racing characters.
"Ready to stop?" Pipsy asks.
Drumstick frolls his eyes. "Ha, ha, ha," He says in a sarcastic tone. He frowns. "Let's go."
The two Diddy Kong Racing characters drive past Donald Trump trying to beat each other.
Donald Trump, however, isn't focused on racing. Ironically enough, he's setting up traps for the racers behind him to crash into. He throws a bo-bomb behind him.
Heppy swerves to the right to avoid the bo-bomb, but he then notices several signs on the racecourse that say 'Beware! Approaching the Waterwind Valley National Bridge! Last exit on right!'
Heppy rubbed his head. "Last exit on right... Waterwind Valley National Bridge...?" He looked at his map on the screen in his kart. "Hey, that's where the finish line is!" He smiled. "Boy, am I in luck!" He grabbed his steering wheel and slammed his foot onto the pedal, causing his purple kart to zoom past Donald Trump.
Donald Trump growls. "Oh no you don't!" He throws in a mushroom into his engine tank, and the rich man speeds right past Pipsy and Drumstick in order to catch up with Heppy.
Pipsy and Drumstick, having avoid the traps, slow down a bit to rest up their cars. Ash Ketchum takes this time to zoom past the two Diddy Kong Racing characters.
"Had enough?" Drumstick says, smiling.
Pipsy chuckles. "Nope, and I never will." She immediately steps on the pedal and goes off.
"HEY!" Drumstick angrily shoutes, as he zooms right after her.
Heppy, having cross the bridge toll, takes one look back at the surrounding buildings and parks of the Waterwind Valley as he started zooming upwards, and eventually, he looks to his left to see that he is racing above water, 100 feet to be exact.
"Oh sweet! I get a nice view AND a decent place!" Heppy cheers, as he continues to sped on the bridge.
Donald Trump comes from behind and appears next to Heppy. "Don't get your hopes up so high!" He started ramming into Heppy.
Heppy growls. "Hey, what is your problem, huh?" He rammed back into Donald Trump.
Donald Trump felt himself being on the verge of the bridge's edge as his limosine was rammed. However, there was an advantage on the bridge, and Donald Trump knew that. He took out several banana peels and threw them in front of him and Heppy.
Heppy couldn't understand what Donald Trump was doing. "Wait, why is Donald Trump throwing bananas in front of-" He then realized what Donald Trump was up to, and gasped. "He's trying to-!"
Before Heppy could react, his car started spinning around due to slipping on the banana peels. Donald Trump laughed as he easily swerved left and right to avoid the peels he threw in front of him.
Ash Ketchum, who was right behind Heppy, also started spinning around as he tried to gain control on his car. "Whoa! That's it!" He sent out his Pokeball, and Glalie popped out. "Glalie! Use your Ice Beam attack!"
Glalie nodded, and it released its Ice Beam attack on the bridge, which caused the road to freeze up into ice.
"ACK!" Heppy screamed, as he was now spinning on ice. "Not ice!" He tried his best to regain his control on his kart.
Donald Trump also had problem with the ice, as his limosine hurtled right onto the left side of the bridge. "Whoa, WHOA!" Donald Trump said, steering the other way to avoid falling off of the bridge, which was now 340 feet above the water.
Ash Ketchum also realized that this was a bad idea, and he went spinning around on the ice. "GAH! Glalie, return!" He summoned back Glalie into its Pokeball.
Heppy sweatdropped as he continued to spin. This is crazy! The racecourse and its own, different, yet somewhat unique, sections are weird enough, but THIS is RIDICULOUS! He thought to himself. Will the madness ever end?
Blaze The Cat was spiraling through the red hot flames that were bouncing about in the valley, with the roads shaking as she tried breaking through her way towards the oddly yellow colored Waterwind Valley National Bridge that lead to the stadium. Suddenly, much to her shock and surprise, Krusty The Klown reemerged within his crisped, formerly white colored limousine, landing right in front of her.
"Hey hey!" Krusty shouted as he laughed his trademark laughed as he honked at Blaze, "I'm like a cat! I got nine lives, baby!"
Blaze snarled as she rammed her purple kart into Krusty. "Well, I'm gladly trim those eight down to one!" She exclaimed as she summoned a purple fireball in her left hand, steering her kart with her right hand on the wheel.
Krusty smirked as he winked with his left eye. "You forgot, toots, I have my secret weapon!" He then revealed the F.L.U.D.D. that was still on his back, laughing again.
Blaze gasped as Krusty fired the fresh clear water from F.L.U.D.D., soaking Blaze as she was slowed down, with Krusty then tossing a bomb at the mountainside. As Blaze tried starting up her vehicle, the mountain collapsed on her, blocking off the road. Blaze poked her head out of the rubble, growling as she watched Krusty zoom off.
"Ooh, I'll get you, you bastardization of clowns!" Blaze growled as she started glowing purple, melting the rubble with her rage as she started up again, zipping after her using the power of her purple colored flames.
Toadette panted as she shook her head, trying to see if she if she could head towards the giant, always changed the color it was Waterwind Valley National Bridge that lead to the stadium, with it currently being blue. As expected, Bowser Jr. was still following her in his small Koopa Klown Kar, firing several more Bob-ombs at her light, pink colored standard kart.
"Darn it, Junior! Is there anything you don't do?" Toadette yelped as she swerved like mad to avoid the exploding Bob-ombs.
Bowser Jr. laughed as he shook his head. "No way! I'm like a cockroach! You can't kill me no matter what you do!"
Toadette shuddered as she stuck her tongue out in disgust. "Eww, you're gross!"
Bowser Jr. slapped his forehead in annoyance. "I didn't mean it like that, diaper girl!" Suddenly, several Zingers from Donkey Kong Country buzzed towards the eastern direction, colliding into the Koopa Klown Kar, which caused Bowser Jr. to fall into Toadette's kart as the Koopa Klown Kar was pushed into the craggy grey mountains from behind, exploding. Toadette and Bowser Jr. screamed as Toadette was unable to drive properly, causing both of them to crash into thye large waterfall right by them.
"Hey! How come we don't have screen time?" Wario growled as he shook his fists angrily, riding inside Bowser's Koopa Klown Kar.
Waluigi pulled up on his purple Waluigi racer, glancing back up at Wario. "It's because the author is a lazy butt face."
"Isn't that the truth," Bowser commented as he chucked a giant, green colored Bowser Shell back at the racers behind them.
Donkey Kong was munching on his bananas, tossing the empty yellow peels on the track. "Well, at the very least, we don't have to deal with any bullshit." He commented.
As Wario got the bombs prepared, he was hit in the face by a lone Mandibuzz, causing him to fall out of the Koopa Klown Kar. Bowser and Donkey Kong looked back as Wario tried getting up, but several Mandibuzz surrounded him, pecking at him. Waluigi shook his head as he zipped off, with the Koopa Klown Kar following him.
"Uwaah!" Wario screamed as he tried getting the vulture Pokemon off of him, but failing as the fail music for Mario Party 1 played, "This is not what I had in mind when I said I wanted more screen time! D'oh I Missed!"
Back with the other racers, things seemed to get crazier at the minute, with different enemies from different games, mostly Nintendo, attacking the racers with no strains held back.
Suddenly, the viewing screen flickered, and once again, DEVO was present, singing an odd, almost robotic sounding version of "Secret Agent Man," while wearing plastic masks over their faces.
"Oh no!" Master Hand moaned as he moved his fingertips at a slower pace, "Not DEVO again!"
Popo scratched his head in confusion. "Who the hell is DEVO?" He asked.
Taj looked at Popo. "You NEVER heard of them?"
Popo shook his head. "Nope. I may be an old-school character, but I never heard of DEVO before. Not once in my entire life."
Taj looked shocked. "Funny... They were around during your time..."
Popo shrugged. "Hey, sue me. Me and Nana live in the cold, cold mountains of the never-ending Icicle Glacier."
Nana sighed heavenly as she held her hands together, lowering her eyes as she smiled. "That's my Popo."
Cue heavily reused laugh track.
"This story has a laugh track?" Jigglypuff bemoaned as she placed her right, short and puffy arm on her forehead, closing her eyes. "Just when this friggin' fanfic couldn't get any stupider."
Cue heavily reused laugh track.
DEVO paid no heed to the screams of horror as they continued their weird brand of music.
"Ack!" Chad the totally not a recolor of a normal Charmander with a shitty MS Paint mask added on screamed, covering his non existent ears, "Where is that horrible, retro music from the 80s coming from?"
"I don't know, but it's annoying!" Ness said, as he too covered his ears.
"Ack! My eyes! Make the horrible music stop!" The Balloon Dude shouted, as he went swerving into several of the Octorocks.
"DEUUEAUGH!" The Air Tank Man exploded as he followed the Balloon Dude, rolling into several burrowing Monty Moles.
DEVO's music was blaring through every speaker and radio now, annoying the hell out of everyone.
"...That's it!" Pikachu screamed from his car, which was nearby Peach's group. He used a Thunder attack, which electrocuted the DEVO band, and sent them flying, electrocuted. "I'm done! I'm officially becoming this fanfic's George Costanza!"
"THANK YOU, PIKACHU!" Marth and Roy cheered, hugging Pikachu tightly.
Pikachu blushed. 'Awww...it was no problem."
Taj nodded. "And we can all safely say, that's the last we see of DEVO." He said, smiling.
Master Hand sighed of relief. "Thank Go. Oh, would you look at that!" He pointed at Sonic's group. "Looks like Peach and the gang are approaching Sonic's gang now!"
Sonic was busy wiggling his ears up and down trying to get the sounds of DEVO out. "AGH! What horrible music that was!"
"You're tellin' me," Max said, looking at May. "Hopefully, it'll wake May up for sure."
"What knocked her out, anyway?" Tails asked.
Misty sighed. "Well, May was fighting Elmo, but Elmo managed to defeat her, so now May was left unconscious for quite some time now."
Several good minutes later…actually, you're not missing squat, so if you think you do, then…you suck. Nah, I'm just kiddin'. Anyway, back to the fanfic.
Last time we left off in Yoshi Kart, we were viewing the last of the Waterwind Valley race from Heppy Ankylosaurus's point of view, he was spinning around on the ice-covered, red colored Waterwind Valley National Bridge that lead to the stadium where the finish line was alongside with Ash Ketchum and Donald Trump. However, Donald Trump and Ash Ketchum weren't having as much luck as they thought they would, and they both winded up falling into the water 400 feet below, where hundreds of Lakitus rushed over to rescue. Anyway, as Heppy was spinning around, zooming by him with ease were Peppy Ankylosaurus/Clario, Shelia the yellow Stegosaurus, and Boshi the blue Yoshisaurus.
"Gah! I gotta stop spinning around!" Heppy said to himself, as he tried to gain control over his car. He then remembered something from a while back. "Wait...that fire flower! I can use its fiery power to help melt this ice!"
He released his grip on the steering wheel, and he searched for a fire flower within his car container. He pulled out a few balloons, a few eggs, a few apples, but didn't find what he really had in mind until he felt a pedal, and plucked it out, which was revealed as a fire flower!
"YES!" Heppy cheers, "My life has fully bloomed today!" He aimed the fire flower at the ice. "Now to get this ice melted off and to claim victory!" He used the fire flower's fiery power to melt all of the ice off, which turned into small puddles of water.
Heppy, now happy that he was able to drive again, placed the fire flower away, grabbed the steering wheel, and went zooming after Shelia.
Shelia turned around to see Heppy coming at her, full speed. "Oh yeah? Not if I can help it?" She released a group of apples she stored in the back of her car, and they went hurtling towards Heppy.
Heppy screamed as he started spinning on the apples, but was lucky to catch a green apple. "Hey! It's my lucky day! A green apple!" He ate it, and was satisfied that he was full. Now with full intention and his stomach full of fruity goodness, Heppy took a mushroom and threw it into the engine of his purple kart, which sent the kart and Heppy himself hurtling into Shelia, causing a crash.
BOOM!
Although the crash wasn't huge, it did do damage to both Heppy and Shelia's karts. Shelia's kart was now lacking a car storage, while Heppy lost his front roof of his kart. Nevertheless, they ignored the damages and raced on, up to the finish line.
"I'm not going to let you get ahead of me!" Shelia exclaimed, as she rammed into Heppy.
Heppy growled, and he rammed back into Shelia. "Sorry, Shelia. I know we're friends and all, but I can't just lose to a simple defeat!" He pushed harder against Shelia's kart.
Shelia growled. "Not if I have anything to say about it!" She whacked her spiky tail into Heppy's left side of his kart, which now had a dent.
Heppy gasped. "You got a dent in my kart! How could you?" He cried.
Shelia frowned, but then turned serious. "I'm sorry, Heppy, but this is a race, and even though races are fun, we sometimes have to take them seriously. And I am certainly NOT going to lose because of it." She gave Heppy one more RAM! before she zoomed off towards the finish line, which, thankfully, was only a half a mile away.
Heppy growled in frustration, and at an uncontrollable rage, he shouted, "I WILL NOT LOSE!" He slammed his foot on his kart pedal, and furiously zoomed right past Shelia and gone through the finish line.
Shelia, although proud that she was able to get a decent place in the Waterwind Valley race, was shocked and amazed to find that Heppy Ankylosaurus, one of her best friends, actually beat her.
"AND THERE YOU HAVE IT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" Master Hand excitedly announces, "Heppy Ankylosaurus, after Boshi and Peppy/Clario, and with Shelia right behind him, has successfully passed the finish line! Now all we need are a few more racers and the 35th placed racing team to pass, and we can prepare for the next race!"
Peppy gave Heppy a high five. "Heppy! Congratulations, man! You actually made it!"
Heppy smiled. "Awww shucks," He said, blushing a bit, "It was nothing."
Shelia, who was also blushing, came up to Heppy. "Um...Heppy..."
Heppy turned to his yellow female Stegosaurus friend. "Yes, Shelia, is there something you would like to ask me?" The purple Ankylosaurus asked.
Shelia smiled, and she gave Heppy a kiss on the cheek. "I know it may not seem right at all, but you did good in this race. And..." She winked, still smiling. "I want you to have my kiss of approval as a sign of good sportsmanship."
Heppy, still blushing over the kiss, smiled as he shook Shelia's hand. "Shelia, of all the racers I have come and met during my life and during this 1st annual Grand Prix, I'm glad to have competed with you."
Bronto, Zirdo, and Birdo, after both passing the finish line, came over to the spot where Heppy, Peppy, and Shelia were.
"Hey, congratulations!" Birdo cheered happily.
Zirdo squealed with delight. "We heard that you two made it at almost the exact same time!"
Bronto laughed heartily. "Yeah! It was quite amazing to see you two race with each other like that!"
Shelia also laughed. "Oh come on, guys, it's not that great, y'know."
"...Ya know, IN THE BATHROOM!" A random green shelled Lakitu shouted, getting glances from all the dinosaurs. He sighed as he shook his head. "I was just trying to be hip and relevant..."
Peppy threw his fist triumphantly into the air. "Let's go celebrate, then! To McDonald's!"
Heppy nodded, and he also threw his fist triumphantly into the air. "Yeah! To McDonald's!"
"TO McDONALD'S!" The dinosaurs shouted triumphantly (don't you just LOVE the reuse of this word?) in unison, as they all headed to McDonald's for a well-deserved meal.
Back on the Waterwind Valley race course itself, Molly the Pterodactyl (another bad excuse to use shitty OCs in a story full of shitty OCs) looked at Yoshi with concern. "Um...Yoshi, are you sure this tunnel is going to lead to that bridge?" She asked.
Yoshi smiled. "Of course I am! After all, me and Dr. Hoshi both raced through here years and years ago, so it'll probably be a breeze for us."
Dr. Hoshi looked up, just in time to see Sonic and the others coming up. "All right! Sonic and the other racers are coming!"
Yoshi smiled. "Sweet! They just got back up in time!" He then narrowed his eyes as he smirked, "And we didn't even get distracted by any of the bullshit thrown at the other racers."
Tails waved. "Yoshi! Dr. Hoshi! We finally caught up to you!"
Yoshi smiled. "Sweet! What took you guys so long?"
Sonic shuddered. "The nudists..." He grumbled as he shook his head.
Amy shuddered too. "It was horrible."
"I nearly went blind...again." Shadow grimaced. "Oh, why is it always me that gets this way...?"
"It's no use..." Silver The Hedgehog interrupted as he zipped by on a silver colored mach bike, shaking his head as he sped in front of the group. "...Trying to tie the puzzle to all of this."
Sonic, Amy, and Shadow blinked as Silver waved with his right hand, zipping off as he disappeared.
"Was that the actual character SEGA created, or the fan character?" Yoshi asked as he was genuinely confused.
Sonic shrugged. "I think it's the official one from SEGA. Otherwise he wouldn't have said that particular phrase like that."
Shadow rolled his eyes. "Typical OCs mixing up with real characters..." He muttered, noting the confusion between the real Silver The Hedgehog and the fan characters with the same name.
Dr. Hoshi cleared his throat. "Anyway, you say you got tangled with nudists, huh?" He asked again.
Sonic, Amy, and Shadow nodded their heads as they felt frightened, with Dr. Hoshi nodding his head in response, his right hand on his purple chin.
"Not to mention..." Max added on, shuddering as he closed his eyes, "DEVO..."
Yoshi scratched his head. "The who what now?"
Dr. Hoshi shook his head. "Oh never mind, Yoshi. Let's just get outta here before we get any more trouble on our hands." He resumed to making more experiments.
Yoshi nodded. "Right." He turned his attention on the road. "These pillars may be tough, but I'll get past them!' He made a swerve to the left to avoid two pillars.
Sonic began to follow Yoshi, swerving his car around the pillars and such. But suddenly... THEY appeared. "Oh... OH NO!" Sonic screamed.
"NOOOOOO...!" Darth Vader exclaimed, finally using his trademark no for himself in this damn fanfic.
The nudists suddenly appeared in the middle of the road, doing squat thrusts in front of everyone.
"DEUUEAUGH!" Fred Rechid exclaimed in his final cameo as he was blue colored instead of his normal brownish green color, dashing off as he cried his eyes out, with his yellow revved up fryer following him.
Yoshi growled. "Oh no you don't!" He suddenly stopped on the breaks, and started going reverse.
Molly screamed as she turned away from the dreaded sight of the nudists. "GAH! I HATE THESE RACE COURSES SO MUCH!"
"Actually, this is the only racecourse that have such weirdness," Dr. Hoshi said, focusing still on his experiments, "But still, enough is enough with these nudists!"
Tails and Cream were both completely freaked out. "GAAAH! NOT THE NUDISTS! NUUUUEZZZ!" They went crashing into Sonic/Amy/Shadow, unfortunately.
Sonic/Amy/Shadow screamed as Tails/Cream/Cheese crashed headlong into them, sending everyone scattering all over the place.
The Lakitu who was recording Knuckles/Rouge and Captain Falcon suddenly appeared on the spot, with Knuckles/Rouge and Captain Falcon arriving at the same time, as well as, ironically, the Star Fox crew. "What did we miss?"
"Oh, nothing much," The Lakitu recording Yoshi/Dr. Hoshi said to his friend. "Lots of wackiness, yup. Nudists, pillars, fire-belching piranha plants, spiky roads, the usual thing."
The 1st Lakitu nodded. "Oh. And...HUH!?" He noticed Yoshi/Dr. Hoshi going backwards. "What are those two dinosaurs DOING!?"
"Goin' backwards," The 2nd, other Lakitu laughed. "Hey, it seems a bit crazy, but worth it to avoid those nudists."
Fox McCloud looked down below at the race track and turned green as he saw the nudists. "Ugh... Disgusting... Whoever said that the human body was a thing of beauty...OBVIOUSLY never met those guys."
Falco Lombardi nodded. "Fox, you can say that again."
"Lombardi? What the hell kind of name is Lombardi?" Slippy teased, laughing.
Falco shook his fist at Slippy. "Shut up, frog boy, or I'll..."
"Guys, can we focus on helping those racers kill off those nudists?" Rob suggested, very intelligently, by the way.
Suddenly, a nudist came up and pressed his butt against the windshield of the Great Fox.
"DEAR GOD! THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Fox turned an even deeper shade of green.
"ACK!" Slippy shouted, "He's greasing up the screen!"
Falco sweatdropped. "Great. What a time to be without friggin' windshields..."
At that moment Krystal came into the hanger in her usual, yet sexy, blue cat suit. "Hey guys, what's going..." Then she saw the nudist. "EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!" She fainted.
Falco sighed. "I'll take him out. I'll be right back..." He left the hanger and appeared on top of the Great Fox, pointing his gun at the nudist. "See you in hell, douche bag." He started shooting repeatiately at the nudist, eventually killing him and getting the freak of the screen.
Slippy high fived Fox. "Aw right! Falco did it! He killed the nudist!"
Fox high fived back. "You said it, Slippy!" He looked up at Falco, smiling. "Falco... Remind me to give you a raise."
Falco chuckled. "No problem. Now..." He aimed his gun at the rest of the nudists. "Who's up for a game to shoot all of the nudists?"
"I AM!" Slippy shouted, as he hopped into his arwing cockpit.
Peppy hare got into his arwing cockpit. "Thank God. I haven't done anything good in a loooong time."
Fox jumped into his arwing cockpit too. "Let's blast those fat, hairy sickos!"
Krystal got into her arwing cockpit as well. "Those naked bastards will pay for soiling my eyeballs with the images of their hairy asses!"
Yoshi looked up and gave Fox a thumbs up sign. "We're helping, too!"
Molly and Dr. Hoshi nodded in unison. "Yeah!" Molly took out a triple set of red shells, while Dr. Hoshi grabbed a red fireball.
"Don't forget us!" Pikachu shouted, as he, Marth, and Roy zoomed next to the Great Fox.
Marth looked up to Fox McCloud. "Fox, we're helping you and Falco take out those nudists!"
"Yeah!" Roy added, "We'll do anything to help, even if it kills us!"
Fox smiled. "Thanks!" He looked back at the nudists. He used a multi-lock on the first few nudists and opened fire on them, burning them up with his lasers.
Link sighed as he and his group approached the other racers, but noticed the nudists. "Gah, first it was the Stalfos, then the Octorocks, and now nudists. What next?"
Samus comforted Link. "Don't worry. 'm sure it couldn't get worse or weirder."
"BEEP BEEP!" TAC shouted, as Kirby and Meta Knight appeared next to Link/Samus/Snake/Pit/Zero Suit Samus.
"Kirby?" Zero Suit Samus and Pit both said in disbelief.
Solid Snake took out his patriot and opened fire on the nudists. "Damn naked bastards!"
"Heya guys," Kirby said, waving his hand, "We had a bit of a hard time behind this tunnel, but boy, were we lucky to get here."
Samus nodded. "I'll say. By the way, why exactly are you wearing that mask?"
Kirby scratched his head, and then he remembered. "Mask? Oh, Mumbo's mask." He struggled as he tried to get the mask to come off. "ARGH! I CAN'T GET THE DAMN THING OFF!"
Link gasped. "Kirby...YOU DIDN'T!"
"Oh yes I did," Kirby said, still mad about his face being masked, "But this is just an extra mask. Found it in Humba Wumba's vehicle."
"Oh...my...God..." Pikachu said in disbelief, "Well, how about we help you get you out of that mask, while we take out the nudists now?"
Kirby shrugged. "Okay. Here I go!" He took out a wand. "Meta Knight, handle the driving. I'm gonna do something."
Meta Knight took over the wheel. "Okay, do your stuff Kirby!"
Krystal, meanwhile, was helping Fox plow through the nudists. "Right up your asses! Naked bastards!"
Kirby then did a summon pose, and he started chanting. "OMINOWAGILUOMINOWAGILU - OOGINOK!" He shouted, in Mumbo's language, as he fired a water spell that sent the nudists being splashed away.
Pikachu followed up with a Thunderbolt attack, that zapped the rest of the nudists.
"NUUUEZZZ! MY FRIENDS!" One of the nudists shouted.
Fox and Krystal both ganged up on the last nudist and shot him right up his ass.
The last nudist dodged the bullets and threw a spear at Kirby, making the Mumbo mask fall off of the pink puffball's face.
Kirby smiled. "Sweet! No more mask for me!'
Unfortunately for him and Meta Knight, TAC returned to normal, having lost Mumbo magic.
Kirby frowned. "Aw man...and...HEY! Meta Knight! Slow down! I gotta get back into TAC!" He started running after Meta Knight, who was still driving TAC.
Meta Knight started to slow down.
"Phew! Thanks, Meta Knight," Kirby said, as he hopped into TAC.
The nudist from before ran to the end of the tunnel. "There! If you shoot me, I'm gonna see it coming."
Pikachu smiled. "I'll handle this..." He started pumping up electricity for his Thunder attack when suddenly...
BOOM!
"AHHH!" The nudist screamed, as he went blasting into the air, right out of the tunnel.
Yoshi sweatdropped. "What the hell was that?"
Pikachu nodded. "Yeah. I want to know, also."
"I did it," Dr. Hoshi said, smirking as he held a grenade. "I made this baby at the last minute, and looks like it worked, too."
Yoshi smiled. "Sweet! Thanks, doc!" He zoomed out of the tunnel and started zooming towards the finish line on the bridge that connected the Waterwind Valley racecourse with the stadium where the finish line was.
Molly and Dr. Hoshi held onto each other, watching how fast Yoshi was going. "WHOA! YOSHI, YOU'RE GOING TOO FAST!"
Yoshi laughed. "I don't know about how fast, but we finally made it!" In no time, he passed the finish line, and claimed himself and Dr. Hoshi 12th place.
"Congratulations to Yoshi and Dr. Hoshi for finally making it to the finish line!" Master Hand announced, "The racers in the tunnel are also approaching the finish line, and I can see how swell this is going to be, isn't it, Taj?"
"Well Master Hand... Whoo boy! Sora from Kingdom Hearts was on such a rampage, he claimed 10th place! And he was only behind Gruntilda Winkybunion and Klungo, too!" Taj announced
Sora was shown jumping up and down in glee. "YAAAAAAAAY! Donald! Goofy! Kairi! Riku! I made it!" He gave the thumbs up to the camera.
"SORA!" Kairi cheered, "YAAAY! YOU WON! YOU WON!"
Riku smiled. "Sora, good job. You finally managed to get a good place after all this hard time in the Grand Prix."
Donald laughed. "Well, looks like Sora finally got what he wanted for so long. Isn't it sweet, Goofy? Goofy?" He noticed Goofy wasn't there.
Goofy was cheering loudly and having a party with Nelson Munzt and the Kool-Aid Guy, having a 'Phrase' party.
Donald chuckled nervously. "Oh…I get it…a 'phrase' party…" He rolled is eyes.
Sonic/Amy/Shadow, Misty/Max (with May, who was, by the way, still unconscious), Peach/Sheik/Chad the Charmander/Professor E. Gadd, Pikachu/Marth/Roy, Kirby/Meta Knight, Link/Samus/Pit/Snake/Zero Suit Samus, Popo/Nana/Ness/Young Link/Saria/Mr, Game-and-Watch/Jigglypuff, Dr. Mario/Zelda/Pichu, and Fox McCloud/Falco Lombardi/Slippy Toad/Peppy Hare/Krystal have all passed the finish line, right after Yoshi and Dr. Hoshi.
"And there goes the majority of the racers," Master Hand says, "That's all we have to offer for now, but don't worry! We'll show you more results after more racers make it in! So be sure to stay tuned to the 1st Annual Yoshi Kart Grand Prix!"
And with that said, the scene changed to the background, and the scene faded to black.
"Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen!" Master Hand announced. "We have seen ALL of the racers passed, and since only 35 of the racers who passed will be racing first, we'll give you a lowdown on the ranking list."
Taj took out a small, white paper with the listings of the racers on them. "Okay, here we go to start it off. Banjo-Kazooie in first place, followed by Mario/Luigi and Koopa/Paratroopa. The Flying Krock follows, and then we have James Bond, who recently has managed to get back on the ground. Trevelyan is up next, followed by Bowser's group. Anguirus has dragged Godzilla over the finish line, with Gruntilda and Klungo zooming by. Up next is Sora, and up from there is Yoshi/Dr. Hoshi. Sonic/Amy/Shadow, and the members of the Super Smash Brothers in their respectful groups follow up, with Peppy Ankylosaurus and Clario pulling in. Heppy Ankylosaurus appears next, as does Shelia, Boshi, Bronto, Birdo, and Zirdo. Marge/Lisa come up next, with Homer and Abe speeding right behind. Bart and the Roadrunner appear next, with Wile E. Coyote, Pipsy, Diddy Kong, Drumstick, Dixie/Tooty, Tiptup, Krunch, Timber, Conker, and Bumper all behind them. Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star zoom up next, with the delayed Donald Trump and Ash Ketchum appearing right behind them. And to sum up 33rd, 34th and 35th places are King Dedede/Escargoon, Snuggles, and Humba Wumba's group."
Master Hand nods at Taj, and turns back to the camera Lakitu is holding. "And thus, those are the racers who will race first tomorrow. We'll have the race coverage on the other racers later. But for now, this is Master hand and Taj, saying good-night!"
Much, much later, way long after the ridiculously long Waterwind Valley race ended, going into an hour after midnight, Master Hand poofed in through a cloud of pink smoke. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I..."
"Master Hand, there's no one here." The green shelled Lakitu commented as he recorded Master Hand.
Master Hand gulped as he felt sheepish. "Ehh... about that..."
"Dude, WHY the hell did we have to wait, for like, 7 hours for the results of the entire race?" The normal green shelled Koopa Troopa that was part of the race angrily asked, folding his arms and taping his foot.
Master Hand began to stutter. "Erm...eh...well..."
"And how come some of the racers who got in the places hey were last time STILL in the places hey were in last time?" The red shelled Paratroopa that was Koopa's partner curiously asked.
Master Hand began to sweat nervously. "Erm...because the guy in charge of the results were too lazy to fully describe what happened to the racers who lost during the Waterwind Valley race..." He chuckled nervously.
Koopa and Paratroopa both growled, angrily looking at Master Hand. "We don't believe you..." They muttered in unison, walking away back to the hotel to get some good shut eye.
Master Hand chuckled nervously, and he then sighed of relief as Koopa and Paratroopa entered the McDonald's hotel. "Phew, thank goodness for that," He whispered, turning to the camera a Lakitu was holding, "Anyway, where was I? Oh yes." He cleared his throat, and with much high enthusiasm, he boomed, "Here are the long-awaited results of the Waterwind Valley race, dubbed the CRAZIEST race of all! And for that, we hope you enjoy the results, and root on your favorite racers! Toodle-loo!" And with that, he disappeared in a puff of purple smoke.
The camera-wielding Lakitu shrugged, and flew up to the scoreboard, recording the results. Of course, since nobody was there, no one really cared. He sighed as he shook his head, lowering his camera. "Why am I even bothering doing this...?"
"Because it's your job," A Hammer Bro commented as he tossed a hammer at the green shelled Lakitu, with a nearby Dry Bones pointing and laughing as the Lakitu sighed in annoyance.