Yoshi Kart
Deathtrap Stadium
(AKA: The Deathtrap Stadium Race FINALLY Begins)
New Author's Notes: Why do I bother updating this shit again?
Old Author's Notes: Stupid bold font...huh? Oh, yeah. A-herm. (clears throat) 'Tis be the actual racing chapter, and boy is it full of racing, and a lot about it, too. This will mainly focus on the Super Smash Brothers characters, but this will also focus on the Yoshi Kart and Diddy Kong Racing racers. So, that means, sadly to those who like crossovers, that the other characters will NOT get as much screen time in this race compared to the Super Smash Brothers, the Yoshi Kart racers, and the Diddy Kong Racing racers as they did in the last race. So that would mean, in latin terms, per se, less Sonic, Jak, and Homer Simpson. Sorry, but this is a Nintendo-based race. Anyway, no more yappin'. Enjoy the race!
Disclaimer: Yap yap yap blah blah, dribble dribble dribble. (Groan) Do I REALLY gotta say the dumb ol' disclaimer? Fine, but this time, it's a parody. A PARODY. A-herm. Anyway on with the dumb ol' disclaimer. I don't own any of the SSBM characters mentioned in this story, Nintendo does. Can you believe it? This is as utterly dry as (shudder) Hoogiman's fanfics. Can you believe that? No? That's what I thought. Anyway, enjoy this, for I have typed it in 3 minutes. Actually, make that 5.789 minutes. So... yeah. LOLZ Luk at me I stole this joke that isn't even funny about getting the word count up. Besides, it's, lyke, a dumb ol' parody of a joke that parodied my old disclaimer, which wasn't even funny in the first place because it was to keep people attached to the story and the computer screen and to help the word count go over 1000. And here's five more words...yes, five more (FIVE (5)) words...LAWL!1 Word up, dawg. And syllable, cat. And boy do I never get the word count of my stories up at the beginning of the story like this! In fact, my soon-to-be-over-100-and-possible-(and)-(hopefully)-close-to-200 chapter long story has a thousand word long list at the start of every chapter! Well actually, that kind of makes the joke hypocritical as I seem to be the worst offender of recycling the same list with random assorted names from other totally different TV shows/games, such as 'Moe, Carl and Lenny' from The Simpsons, freakin' characters who weren't even mentioned. No, I never said any of my writing was good. Nintendo owns: Yoshi, Pikachu, May, Peach, Bowser, Mewtwo, Pit, Wario, Meta Knight, Jigglypuff, Mario, Luigi, Birdo, Boshi, and all of the other Super Smash Brothers Characters. Yoshizilla (Mr. Dr. Prof. Chad Hyle Clay Resup- I mean, Mitt Rodney) owns Peppy Ankylosaurus, Doctor Harryhausen Howard Hoshi, Heppy Ankylosaurus, Shelia the Stegosaurus, Zirdo the Birdosaurus, Chad the Charmander, and Bronto the Brontosaurus. Not like anyone cares, especially since the Charmander is just a shitty recolor of a Pokemon. Oh, and Master Hand, Crazy Hand, and Dr. Mario all belong to Nintendo. And the other official stuff to their official peeps, even though no one cares. Yeah. YAY FOR GETTING PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY READ THIS! ...I feel dirty inside. Hold me.
P.S.: ...If you actually went through the disclaimer crap, then you get...this cookie.
P.P.S.: I love using the word "P.P.S.". It's so funny, and plus, I can tell you if I added anything here, which I did, and you'll notice once you look at the list of racers that I added 4 more. Enjoy!
P.P.S.S.: Yes, I know, the fucking list, but it has to be here to clarify who actually races. Lord knows I need this when I see who needs to get focused on, and whatnot.
List of Racers in the Deathtrap Stadium:
1. Yoshi/Dr. Hoshi
2. Peppy Ankylosaurus/Clario
3. Birdo
4. Boshi
5. Zirdo
6. Heppy
7. Bronto
8. Shelia
9. Mario/Luigi
10. Princess Peach Toadstool/Sheik
11. Bowser/Mewtwo/Ganondorf /Donkey Kong/Wario
12. Waluigi/Princess Daisy/Toad/Toadette/Stanley
13. Koopa Troopa/Paratroopa
14. Banjo/Kazooie
15. Link/Samus
16. Pikachu/Marth/Roy
17. Kirby/Meta Knight
18. Misty/Max
19. Dr. Mario/Zelda/Pichu
20. Gruntilda/Klungo
21. Diddy Kong
22. Dixie/Tooty
23. Krunch
24. King K. Rool/Kaptain K. Rool/Baron K. Roolenstein
25. Fox McCloud/Krystal/Falco Lombardi/Peppy Hare/Slippy Toad
26. Tiptup
28. Yoshi Series/Diddy Kong Racing Bosses
29. James Bond
30. Alec Trevelyan
31. Sonic The Hedgehog/Amy Rose
32. Sora
33. Dr. Eggman/Scratch/Grounder
34. Marge Simpson/Lisa Simpson/Bart Simpson
35. Bottles/Mumbo
36. Jigglypuff/Mr. Game-and-Watch
37. Pipsy
38. Drumstick
39. Bumper
40. Conker The Squirrel
P.P.P.S.: LOL 3 Ps and one S. What a world. Anyways, I fixed up the racer list for this chapter. Also, the name 'Chaotic Stadium' was the original name for the Deathtrap Stadium, which is the stadium racecourse's official name. But I happen to like Deathtrap Stadium more that Chaotic Stadium, so ha.
"On your marks...get ready...3...2...1...1 and a half..." The Lakitus all said in unison.
"WILL YOU JUST START THE DAMN RACE!?" All of the racers angrily shouted.
The Lakitus sweatdropped and shrugged. "Suit yourselfs. GO!" They shouted.
And as the cloud-bearing reptilians got the heck out of the way, all of the racers, whom were placed from 1st to 35th places, zoomed into the stadium race course, and are now in the first part: the similar course of Waluigi Stadium (GCN).
"And there go all of the racers now," Master Hand announces, alongside with Taj, "35 of the successful racers are here today, except for a few notable absentses. Anyway, currentely in the lead and holding it proudly is Team Eggman, (consisting of Eggman, Scratch, Grounder, and Bokkun) with Diddy Kong and Alec Trevelyan behind."
"Hey Trevelyan!" Diddy shouts in the most obnoxious way possible, "I know I basically tell you this every single time we meet, but this is gonna be my win! So get out!"
Trevelyan aimed his gun at Diddy. "Well I tell and do this to you every time we see each other! Eat lead, monkey!" He started firing bullets at Diddy Kong's car.
Diddy smiled, for the bullets were bounced off. "Nice try, but this baby's bullet proof! You're not going to knock me off my perch like you did in the Sauropod Forest race!" He took out a rocket missile and fired it at Trevelyan.
Trevelyan dodged the rocket missile, and watched as it hit Eggman's vehicle.
"Damn it!" Eggman cursed as he went flying alongside Scratch and Grounder, with all three falling to the ground.
"OOMPH!" Grounder shouts, with Scratch and Eggman crushing him. "Owww...pain...so much..." The weight was so heavy, the vehicle stopped moving.
"GAH! A breakdown!? Now!?" Scratch rushed out and tried to make repairs.
"Hurry up, you fools!" Eggman shouted as he angrily shook his fist, glaring at Trevelyan. "I promise you yet, fool, you will get the master plan, rest assured!"
Trevelyan smirked. "Heh! A perfect distraction!" He ran past the stopped vehicle, leaving Eggman and his cronies on the pathway.
Diddy Kong did the same and zoomed off ahead of Eggman's group.
"Looks like Eggman and his cronies aren't having a good time, but Trevelyan and Diddy Kong are speeding to victory!" Master Hand announces, that makes the audience cheer loudly.
"Not for long..." Eggman remarked as he pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil, writing down ideas on how to get revenge on Trevelyan.
"Where's Bokkun when you need him?" Grounder moaned, trying to get out underneath Eggman.
"It's his day off, remember?" Scratch told Grounder.
Grounder couldn't do anything else but grumble and moan, as he managed to get out from under Eggman and started looking for items as Bronto zoomed by.
Bronto winced to see several fake piranha plants coming out of pipes. "Uh oh! Fake piranha plants, at 10:00!" He shouted, as he made left and right swerves to avoid the fake plants.
Tiptup, who was following Bronto, heard this and followed Bronto's turns as he also avoided the fake piranha plants.
"Fake Piranha Plants can prove to be a difficult challenge in the Deathtrap Stadium," Master Hand announced, "And with the addition of the trouble-making fireballs, you kinda wonder how difficult this race is going to be."
Taj nodded. "Yup. Boy, we're sure lucky that we're only announcing, and not racing."
Master Hand sighed. "Tell you what, Taj. If, say..." He pointed down. "Bowser's group wins again, then you owe me 1000 dollars."
Taj got a grin on his face. "Fine, then I'm betting on Sonic/Amy!" He shouted, grinning as he added, "$1000."
Master Hand grinned. "You got yourself a bet."
Taj nodded. "I'm glad we do have a bet, then."
Both of them chuckled evilly as they shook with each other.
The Great Fox meanwhile was right alongside the Flying Kroc, about to pass.
The Flying Krock, on the other hand, was lucky enough to get a speed booster, and they used it to zoom away from Star Fox. They also released several 'air bombs' behind for the Star Fox, or any of the other racers, to crash into.
"Air bombs, coming at fast pace!" Falco shouted, running towards his arwing.
Slippy got into his arwing and zoomed out of the Star Fox, ready to assult the Flying Krock. Falco did the exact same and was next to Slippy.
"Ready, Falco?" Slippy asked, smiling.
Falco smirked. "Man, I was born ready."
The two animals nodded at each other, and they zoomed past the air bombs, turning to the Star Fox to motion Fox, Krystal, and Peppy Hare to join in the air assult.
Fox was already out there, shooting at the Flying Krock's engines, alongside with Peppy Hare, who was firing at the Kremlings who were firing bullets.
Krystal meanwhile was aiming a bomb right for the cockpit, as Fox and Peppy Hare kept the Krock busy.
Kaptain K. Rool watched in horror from the window as he turned to his brothers. "Arrr! We're being attacked!" He exclaimed.
King K. Rool growled. "Well, if it's a dog fight they want, then a dog fight they'll get!" He hoped into his own custom Kroolwing, and appeared behind the Flying Krock.
Kaptain looked at Baron K. Roolenstein. "Shall we?"
Baron shrugged. "Eh, why not?" He ran into the hanger and got into his own Kroolwing, following King K. Rool.
Kaptain hurried and hopped into his Kroolwing, and zoomed out of the Flying Krock's hanger to join in the aerial dog fight.
At that very moment, Krystal deployed her bomb on top of the Flying Krock.
One of the Kremlings operating the Flying Krock came running to Klump. "General Klump! There seems to be a bomb on top of the Flying Krock!"
Klump turned pale. "What? A bomb?"
The Kremling lowered his head. "We tried our best, but we can't get it off!"
Klump's eyes widened with fear. "Good God..."
Unbeknowist to any of the Star Fox members, Kaptain K. Rool threw a motion sensor bomb from his Kroolwing onto the Star Fox, and just as he hoped and planned, the motion sensor bomb attacthed itself to the Great Fox.
"...I'm sensing a bomb aboard our ship," ROB said, checking the Great Fox's status.
"ROB!" Fox said. "Is there anyway we can disarm the bomb without triggering an explosion?"
"I'm afraid we can't, Fox," ROB said, "Just as the Kremlings are unable to get the bomb off of their ship, I can't be able to get the motion sensor bomb off the Star Fox..."
Fox turned pale. "Which means that we're both screwed..."
Right as Fox finished saying the sentence, the two bombs were set off, and a huge explosion sent both the Star Fox and the Flying Krock crashing down into the race course.
"OH! Looks like the Great Fox and the Flying Krock are both out, but the characters in charge are still in the race! What a remarkable sight!" Master Hand commented.
"WHOA!" Taj exclaimed. "That was quite an explosion there! So you mean that only Fox and King K. Rool are left?"
"Yup, but Krystal, Falco, Slippy, Peppy Hare, Kaptain K. Rool, and Baron K. Roolenstein are with them," Master Hand corrects Taj, "If one of them makes it, they can score a point for their team."
Sonic looked behind him at the flaming wreckage of the two ships. "Eesh... Good thing I wasn't there..."
Amy, who was also looking back stared at the ship wreckage. "Somebody must have been drunk again." She assumed to herself.
"How come we're not going fast enough?" Mr. Game-and-Watch asked as he was spilling oil on the racecourse.
"Because no one apparantly cares about us." Jigglypuiff stated as she frowned, before puffing herself up. "Urgh! It makes me so mad!"
"What are you, King Whomp?" Mr. Game-and-Watch teased as they got zapped, with Pikachu laughing as he, Roy, and Marth zipped by.
"So long, fools!" Pikachu stated as he waved at them, the spark causing an explosion due to the spilled oil.
"Nice stratedgy, Pikachu." Marth commented as he swevred around the right bend, driving the vehicle.
"Yeah, now let's stay relevant enough so that people would actually be interested in the race," Roy added as he chucked some bumpers behind, watching a couple of the incoming racers bump into them, much to their annoyance.
Bronto, relieved that he didn't have to swerve to avoid the fake Piranha plants, sighed as he turned his focus back onto the race course, when he noticed that he was in the mud. "Aw great! How could I forget about the mud?" He said, trying to steer out, but with no avail.
Unfortunately, Tiptup also faced this problem, as he was having a much more difficult time tring to steer out of the mud, considering that he was in his hover car.
"Gah!" Tiptup moaned as he struggled with the steering wheel. "Stupid mud...can't...steer...straight..."
"Looks like Bronto the Brontosaurus and Tiptup the Turtle are having some trouble," Master Hand announces, "But wait! Here comes Waluigi's group, followed by Sonic and Amy."
"WHhoa!" Amy cried out, having one hell of a time steering for Sonic from glass beer bottles being thrown into the track by random Simpsons drunks. "Son Of A-OH NO!" She screamed as she narrowly dodged a TNT stick.
Sonic was also having problems as he took the steering wheel from Amy and swerved around banana peels and wine glasses. "Who the hell put there here!?" Then he alost hit a bag of horse manure. "ICK!" He narrowly missed it.
Amy cried out in surprise as one of the drunks was thrown into the passenger seat of the Cyclone. "HELLO?"
"Can you take me to Moe's?" Barney Gumble asked, belching loudly.
"No, No I can't right n-DUCK!" Amy screamed, ducking a box of nitrate.
Carl, who was sitting in the audience, turned to Lenny and Moe. "What a minute, how the hell did Barney get all the way down in that stadium?"
Moe shrugged. "Eh, Barney's always like that. He likes to get into crazy stuff, remeber?"
Lenny nodded. "Yeah. Let's be lucky that Homer Simpson's not with him."
Carl sighed, turning his attention back to the race course. "Okay, if you guys insist..."
Sonic turned to Amy and looked in the passenger side, to find Barney Gumble singing. "Hey Ames! Who's your new friend?"
Amy sweatdropped, waving her hands in the air in confusion. "I don't know! He keeps singing 'Cotton eyed Joe' though, so I think I'll call him Bob!" She called back.
"Hey Waluigi!" Stanley the Bugman shouted, taking out three mushrooms, "Let's speed on to victory! We can pass Bronto and Tiptup since they're in the mud!"
Toad nodded. "Yeah, and once we do, we can catch up with Diddy Kong and Alec Trevelyan!"
Daisy yelped out as a roll of christmas lights got caught up in the car's tires. "This is NOT my day!" She screamed out, trying to get out of the forcefield she'd somehow gotten stuck in.
"...How the hell did you get that on you?" Toadette remarked as she squinted her eyes.
"Who cares? We're speeding away!" Waluigi exclaimed as he stepped on the gas, the mushrooms taking effect. "YAHHOOOOOOOO!"
"WEEEEEE!" Toadette cheered, holding onto Waluigi. "Don't let me fall off! I'm light!"
"YEHAWHAW!" Toad and Stanley cheered, holding onto the chairs as Waluigi's group went zooming past Bronto.
"Guys! I'm still tangled!" Daisy screamed as she was completely covered in Christmas lights.
Bronto sighed. "Damn it. Looks like I'm gonna be stuck here for a while..." He said to himself, his kart slowly sinking in the mud due to his weight.
Tiptup nodded slowly in agreement. "Same here. I can't even get out of my damn hover car..." He admitted, frowning.
Master Hand turned to Taj. "Isn't this quite a surprise, Taj? Sonic and have Barney Gumble as a passenger, Waluigi's group is soaring into victory, Diddy and Trevelyan still are retaining their leads, and both Bronto and Tiptup are stuck in the mud. What a race this is turning out to be!"
"What about Star Fox and the Krocks though?" Taj asked.
"It seems that Fox McCloud and King K. Rool will take the lead for both of their teams, while the other teammates are having an aerial dog fight," Master Hand admitted.
Taj rubbed his chin. "Speaking of which, I wonder whatever happened to Homer Simpson, Miles 'Tails' Prower, Shadow the Hedgehog, and Knuckles the Echidna..."
Master Hand chuckled. "Don't worry about it too much, Taj. They're still in the hosbital."
Taj smiled as he nodded. "I hope they feel well soon. Hopefully, they're watching the race right now."
Both of the two magical-powered announcers heartily laughed as they resumed their announcing duties for the stadium race course.
Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Homer Simpson had SOMEHOW gotten handcuffed to both Shadow and Knuckles...
"Now Homer, the reason we have you handcuffed to Shadow the Hedgehog and Knuckles the Echidna is because...um...we're going to do some tests on you," The doctors said in monontone unison, and then they all mysteriously left.
Homer got a grin on his face. "Tests? Ohhh, I just over the LAST ones where I thought Bart was Tony Blaire!" He whined, looking to the open door and smelling bacon. "Oooh! Unexplained bacon!" he giggled, running out with Shadow and Knuckles in tow.
"WAAWAAWAAWAAH!" Shadow screamed as he was dragged along.
"AHHHHHHH!" Knuckles shouted as well.
Homer continued to giggle girlishly as he ran to the canteen, losing the hospital gown in the process, much to the dismay of the echidna and hedgehog.
Tiptup continued to follow Bronto on the dangerous road until he suddenly felt his car acting strange. "What the...WHOA!" Before he could react, Tiptup went sprialling into a wall!
"OH!" Master Hand shouted, turning away. "It seems that Tiptup has had a stroke of bad luck, ladies and gentlemen. Perhaps he should go fix up his car in the pit stop nearby."
Tiptup sighed of relief after hearing the words 'pit stop'. "Oh...THANK GOD," He said, as he started to push his damaged car to the pit stop while the other rcaers zoomed past the green turtle.
In 13th place of this exhilarating and dangerous race, which is taking place in the newly-constructed Deathtrap Stadium, is the lovable and favorable bear-and-bird duo, Banjo-Kazooie. They are being followed closely by Link/Samus Aran, who are in 14th place and are being followed by Pikachu/Marth/Roy, who are in 15th place.
"Fire the ice eggs, Kazooie!' Banjo instructed, as he made a sharp left turn on the curve of the racecourse.
Kazooie saluted. "Aye, captain honeybrain!" She aimed at Epona, and fired a few ice eggs down at the path, making the road icy.
Pikachu/Marth/Roy noticed this, and they stopped before the ice could reach them. They decided to play it safe and waited patiently for the ice to melt.
Epona tried to keep her grip but unfortunately, the horse started slipping on the thick ice. She fell down in pain, as well as Link and Samus.
"Ugh!" Link groaned, scraping his knee on the ice. "If it's one thing I hate about roads, it's ice!"
Samus moaned, rubbing her helmet. "And here I thought that hot magma was a dangerous, yet somewhat tricky, road hazzard."
Banjo and Kazooie gave each other a high-five, before they took off again, triumphally defending 13th place.
Yoshi and Dr. Hoshi, currentely in 17th place, were going down the left turn of the dangerous and hazardous racecourse.
"I'll handle this one, Yoshi," Dr. Hoshi said. He slapped his forehead with his right hand. "Oh, how original. I spoke out 'said' instead of 'stated'. Real smooth, man."
Yoshi nodded, handing Dr. Hoshi the steering wheel. "Here you go, doctor," He replied, as he took out two green shells and fired them behind the car.
Dr. Hoshi made a power slide on the left turn, knowing that the car was gaining acceleration as he did.
Yoshi grabbed a golden mushroom and threw it into the engine, which propelled the kart into top speeds of 110 MPH. In no time, Yoshi and Dr. Hoshi have not only passed Pikachu/Marth/Roy, but they also passed Link and Samus, who were still struggling to get back into the race.
"Oh come on, really?" Pikachu growled as he was firing several jolts at Link and Samus, with Roy steering the wheel as Marth was trying to brush his perfect blue hair.
"You should talk! You're firing at us!" Samus replied as she fired several missiles back at the trio, hitting their vehicle as Link kept on riding Epona.
"Aww right! We're really speedin', Dr. Hoshi!" Yoshi cheered, grinning confidentially as he continued searching for another item to use.
Dr. Hoshi grinned, proud that Yoshi was understanding the purpose of the race. "Of course, Yoshi, my dear boy. After all, do tell that we ARE professionals when it comes to racing," He chuckled, as he went straight down the narrow road and was ready to go over the small slopes ahead.
Yoshi laughed. "Hey, we're having a good time! Let's not ruin that!" He said cheerfully, as the two dinosaurs started going over the small slopes.
Not too far behind Yoshi and Dr. Hoshi were Peppy Ankylosaurus and Clario, who are also maintaining acceleration and speed at the same time.
"Get ready to zoom off, Clario!" Peppy shouted, as he was finding an opening to pass Yoshi and Dr. Hoshi.
Clario nodded. "Right!" He grabbed a spiny winged blue shelll from a nearby item box and placed the protective barrier over their car.
Peppy smiled, and he was able to find an opening. The yellow, sturdy Ankylosaurus then unleashed an Ankylosaurus Bolt on the car, which gave it an electrical boost, and sent them zooming past Yoshi;/Dr. Hoshi. It even went over the small slopes with speeds exceeding 120 MPH!
"YAHOO!" Peppy and Clario cheered, as they were starting to gain foot on the other racers.
And now, for a very stupid commercial in the middle of some racing action. Because non racing segments is exactly just what this fucking fanfic needed more of.
"People in Nintendo City like Keico(TM) (worst rip-off gag ever), the #1 Car Insurance in Nintendo City. And because of the many tasks of real, everyday life and such crappy situations, we hired a professional member of the Super Smash Brothers to help elaborate this customer's tale," Said the mysterious announcer, zooming in on Ash Ketchum's house.
"When my car broke down, I didn't know what to do," Delia Ketchum (Ash's mother) said.
"In a world where cats and lizards ruled all the time," Jigglypuff said in a deep, James Earl Jones-narrator's voice.
Delia sighed. "So we decided to have Keico(TM) come in and help with our car insurance."
Jigglypuff continued to elaborate in her deep, James Earl Jones-narrator voice, "So we decided to go on the adventure of a lifetime."
Delia smiled. "And boy, when it co0mes to car insurance, does Keico(TM) really help when it comes to insurance such as that annoying car insurance-"
"Ma'am, you said 'car insurance' twice," The cameraman said.
Delia snarled. "I know! Give me a friggin' break!"
The cameraman hid behind the director. "Don't kill me!"
Delia sighed. "Whatever! Anyways," She continued, "Keico(TM) really helps in tough situations such as car insurance, which is why I saved 50 on my annoying car's insurance!" She said with a smile.
"Pay back time, this time, it's personal, and this time, it's for real," Jigglypuff finished in the deep, James Earl Jones-narrator voice.
The director rolled his eyes. "God, I'm glad this stupid commercial is over. I'm gonna go get bagels." He got off his green director chair and headed for the bakery nearby.
"Keico(TM), real service, real people," The mysterious announcer boomed, as the scene faded to black.
(If you thought that the commercial was dry, and if you're looking for pure race action, then you're in luck, cause the following showing is just what this is supposed to be about: racing action.)
Pipsy the Mouse is steadly behind Drumstick the Rooster. She grabs a rainbow balloon, and she claims a speed rocket. "Sweet!" She exclaims, as he attaches the speed rocket to her car and zooms ahead of Drumstick.
Drumstick caught an orange balloon with yellow stars and gave himself an extra burst of speed, blasting right ahead of Bumper.
Pipsy notices Drumstick is coming, so she grabs a balloon, and its a bucket of oil. She shrugged. "Oh well." She tilted the bucket so the oil would spill behind her car.
Drumstick jumped right into the air, dodging the oil and landed right next to Pipsy.
Pipsy noticed Drumstick again, and she smirked. "Nice try, but it's not going to help you." She grabbed a green balloon, and a shield appeared around her. She then grabbed a yellow balloon, which had a rocket booster, attached it to her car, and took off.
Drumstick, however, straped on his rocket shoes, taking a random yellow extreme gear (from Sonic Riders) he somehow aquired before the race under his arm, before blasting after Pipsy at lightspeed on foot. "Later, dumb mouse!" He taunted, cackling.
Pipsy dodged out of the way, and got a blue balloon. A sheild then appeared around her, and she used this as her advantage to block any of Drumstick's attacks. Using the rocket booster, she sped ahead of Drumstick again.
Drumstick continued speeding, gaining on Pipsy's tail.
Pipsy then grabbed a rainbow balloon. It was a fake item box. She knew it wouldn't help now, so she waited until it was the perfect chance.
Drumstick took out a few red shells and threw them at Pipsy.
Pipsy threw three mines behind her car, which the red shells collided with. The yellow female mouse then zoomed ahead of Drumstick, and then threw the fake item box behind her.
Shelia the Stegosaurus watched as Pipsy sped off. She smirked. "The perfect chance!" The yellow female Stegosaurus grabbed an item box, with revealed a hook shot. He aimed it at Drumstick's car.
Drumstick grabbed an item box nearby, gaining a green shield, protecting him from the hook shot.
Shelia gritted her teeth. "Damn it..." She cursed. She smiled. "It may not work now, but when his shield goes down..." The yellow female Stegosaurus chuckled to herself.
Drumstick and Pipsy were now trying to shove each other off the road, but either one having no avail.
Shelia the Stegosaurus was still trying to figure out how long the shield would last. He growled. "Damn, it's taking that shield a while to lose power..."
"Wah." Waluigi sighed as he was munching on a taco.
"What are you complaining about?" Toadette asked as she was trying to see who was behind them.
"I don't get enough screen time in this story. That, and barely any racing action." Waluigi remarked as he turned the vehicle around the right bend, them tried swerving on the awkward path that was zigzagging, before turning around the left bend. "This story sucks."
"What else is new?" Toad remarked as he was playing cards with Daisy, with Stanley firing bug spray at Jigglypuff, who dodged every instance while Mr. Game-and-Watch chucked black sausages and bacon at them.
"Hello? Is this thing on? Yello? Is anyone there?" Ness asked, playing around with the microphone he was holding.
Master Hand tapped Ness's shoulder. "Ness, the microphone is on."
Ness chuckled nervously. "Oh yeah...hehehehehe...I knew that..." He then gasped in excitement. "Are we on TV?"
Master Hand chuckled. "Yes we are, Ness. We're on live."
Ness cheered wildly and waved his hand at the camera. "Hi mom! Hi Paula! Hi Poo! Hi Jeff! Hi Pokey! I'm on TV!"
"We're live from the Deathtrap Stadium racecourse in the 1st Annual Yoshi Kart Grand Prix which takes place all over the beautifully lush and wonderful prehistoric world of Dinosaur Land!" Master hand proudly announces, "We're here announcing the 7th race of this crazy and energetic racing kart grand prix with the 1st-35th place racers currentely completing against each other in the Deathtrap Stadium below. Here with me now are Taj the magic Hindu elephant, my good announcing partner, and our special guest announcer for this race only: Ness!"
"HI, EVERYBODY!" Ness shouted to the audience.
"There goes my ear drums. If I had any." Master Hand stated with a chuckle as he sighed, realizing that he was just a giant floating glove.
Taj waved to the audience, and then he cleared up his throat. "Thank you, thank you. Anyway," He boomed, as he started to announce, "We're currentely having major coverage on only the racers who are part of the Super Smash Brothers. And my, oh my, they seem to be doing a LOT more successful and better than the other racers at this point. Of course, I'm referring to Mario/Luigi, Yoshi/Dr. Hoshi, Pikachu/Marth/Roy, Peach/Sheik, Jigglypuff/Mr. Game-And-Watch, Peppy Ankylosaurus/Clario, Boshi, Tiptup, Krunch, Kirby/Meta Knight, Bowser's Group, Banjo-Kazooie, Mumbo/Bottles, Gruntilda/Klungo, and even Waluigi's group! Although it can be said that Sora, Timber, and Bumper are catching up also. Now, currentely as of this point, Sonic the Hedgehog and Amy Rose are quite lagging behind, with Cloud Strife being deadlast. While Homer Simpson and Abraham Simpson are seemingly out of the race, Marge/Bart/Lisa are trailing down the racecourse after Conker, Pipsy and Drumstick. The Star Fox crew is also quite lagging behind in this intense race, while the Kremling leaders of the Flying Krock are taking this as their advantage and are zooming their way through the other leaders in their Kroolwings. And currentely in this foray, Diddy Kong and Alec Trevelyan are still proudly holding the positions of 1st and 2nd places, but the Yoshi Series and Diddy Kong Racing bosses probably won't let that last for too long..." He heavily explained, catching his breath after finishing his long announcing status.
Master Hand and Ness both looked at Taj in complete awe.
Taj sweatdropped. "What?" He sniffed his left armpit. "Is it my body odor?"
"No..." Master Hand replied, slightly disgusted by Taj's behavior, "It was the way that you were announcing. It was..."
"It was AWESOME!" Ness screamed so loudly, that it caused nearby windows to crack and break.
Master Hand and Taj both looked at Ness strangely, with their eyes widened fully.
"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." Master Hand murmured, turning to the camera a Lakitu was holding, "We now return you folks out there to the Deathtrap Stadium race."
"This race is going at a slow pace. How come we're not making post haste?" Gruntilda stated to Klungo, with him driving around the various bends in the stadium.
"Me have no idea why we go ssssssso sssssssslow. Author doesn't focussss on usss much." Klungo stated as he rammed into several different crates, causing coins and food to break out of them.
Gruntilda sighed as he placed her left hand on her forehead, sighing. "Why did I join this race in the first place? I can't even think of a clever rhyme for this..."
"HE HE HE! I can!" Exclaimed Lanky Kong as he was running on his hands, glancing at Gruntilda and Klungo. "And I can stretch my arms out, just-"
Before he could Banepost, Lanky was punched in the face by Klungo, the orangutang being stunned as he fell flat on his face, with the witch and trollish minion driving away.
Kirby and Meta Knight sped past the 14th-17th place racers, when they appeared next to Peach and Sheik.
"Hello, ladies..." Kirby said in a menacing tone, chuckling evilly.
"Kirby?" Peach remarked as she was steering her kart.
Meta Knight laughed, as he nodded. "All right, Kirby, transform!"
Kirby smiled, and he started muttering strange Indian language words as he did a strange, transformation dance, with magic pixels and sparkling lights surrounding the pink puffball.
Sheik watched Kirby doing his strange, yet somewhat entertaining, transformation dance in confusion. He turned to Peach. "What's Kirby doin', Peach?"
Peach shrugged, having no idea either on Kirby. "I don't know, but whatever it is, it sure is frightening!" She gulped. She then said, looking back at Kirby, "I think he's muttering, or something..."
Kirby transformed into Pikachu Kirby, and he used his electric gather ability to suck up all of the electrical energy in Peach's car, causing Peach and Sheik to stop moving.
"HEY!" Peach and Sheik shouted angrily, as they watched Kirby and Meta Knight zoom by them, laughing.
Kirby manage to stop laughing, and he turned back into his old self. He then turned to Meta Knight, smiling wide with a big grin on his face. "How was that for concentration?"
Meta Knight, who was still driving the car, looked at Kirby and sighed. "While it may not be your best performance, at least you managed to do something right and intelligent."
Kirby smiled with his wide grin again, and he gave Meta Knight a pat on the back. "Awwwwwwwww! Thanks for that great compliment, Meta Knight!"
Meta Knight growled. "Don't...touch...me..." He angrily told Kirby in a rather dangerously 'calm' tone.
Kirby gulped, shivered in fear, and he hid in the back of the car, letting Meta Knight drive in peace.
Birdo was facing problems with the turtle pair Koopa and Paratroopa, who were right about to pass.
"Gah...I got these turtle brains right behind me..." Birdo thought to herself, making a sweerve to the left as she drove in her pink kart, "And what's worse, I got these stupid rotating fireballs right ahead of me."
Koopa took out a triple pack of green shells. "Paratroopa! Drive closer to Birdo so I can get a clear shot!"
Paratroopa nodded. "Righty-o, Captain Koopa!" He stepped on the pedal, and the Koopa Kart went faster as it was now only 2.34 inches away behind Birdo's pink kart.
Koopa took aim, and the green-shelled yellow turtle fired one of the green shells at Birdo's kart.
Birdo swerved her kart to avoid the green shell. She turned around to Koopa/Partroopa nd blew a rasberry at the turtles, chuckling. "Haha! You missed me! Haha!"
Unfortunately for Birdo, while she was taunting Koopa and Paratroopa, she herself didn't have any time at all to respond to the second green shell, which collided with Birdo's kart and sent Birdo crashing into one of the hot, rotating red fireballs.
"Owowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow! Did I really just scream that? Do I actually sound like that? Anyway, this is hot, HOT, HOT!" Birdo screamed in pain, as the pink bow-bearing female dinosaur fell onto the 1st slope and was stuck there for several seconds until a Lakitu nearby came to rescue her. Shortly afterwards, the Lakitu dropped Birdo at the nearby pitstop, and then went back into the sky, looking for other racers to record or rescue.
"Sorry, Birdo!" The Lakitu shouted to Birdo as he zoomed away, "But you were knocked out of the racecourse, so now you'll have to wit for a few minutes before your kart is fixed!"
Birdo groans, slapping her forehead. "Oh, great! What could be worse than this?"
Koopa and Paratroop passed by the pitstop, pointing and laughing at Birdo victoriously as they zoomed away on the racecourse.
Birdo only mutters curse words quietly to herself as she sits down on an adjacent bench and waits for her kart to be ready.
"I wish I wasn't just pushed to the side like the others," Birdo mumbled to herself as she sighed, shaking her head as several different colored Shy Guys were fixing up her kart.