Disclaimer: I don't get paid for watching TV on my butt. I get paid for nagging you folks out there, who are reading this stupid-oh wait, election in November, election in November...(blinks blankly at the audience) ...This stupid country.
Edit: Just thought I let you guys know this, but this was done on a different computer, so don't ask why there are no enters after the following margins. Thank you.
Additional Edit: The following chapter has been re-edited to your comfort and enjoyable pleasure. Thank you.
Even More Additional Edit: This chapter now has 2.3 more new footage!
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It was a stormy night at the Yoshi Kart Racers' hotel, as usual. But unusually, there was a poker game going on. A BIIIIIG poker game...
"Bleh, I got nothing." Peppy Ankylosaurus said, looking at his cards. "Fold."
Heppy Ankylosaurus sighed and shook his head in disgust. "Ugh. Fold."
Yoshi smirked, having the winning hand. "Looks like I win again, boys."
All of the characters in the room moaned, having to lose to Yoshi again, now officially being the 4th time.
Ganondorf, being the man in charge of the game, gathered all of everyone's cards, and shuffled them up. He handed 5 cards to each and every character.
Crash Bandicoot took his handful of cards, when he noticed something unusual. "Heeeey...this pack is rigged!" The orange Bandicoot exclaimed, showing his cards to everyone, "We've been using crappy cards the whole time!"
"DAMN IT!" Wario cursed in frustration, slamming his fists down on the table.
Ganondorf sighed. "Don't worry. I'll go find ourselves a new pack." He took everyone's rigged cards and placed them all together on a different, small table. He then got out his black purse-
"Wait wait wait, hold up!" Falco Lombardi exclaimed, pointing at Ganondorf. "YOU have a black PURSE?"
Ganondorf nodded, blushing a bit. "Well..."
All of the characters in the room, except Tiptup (since he had the camera on him), bursted into laughter.
Ganondorf growled, and he roared. "ENOUGH!" He took out his two blades (from Legend of Zelda: Oricana of Time). "Do NOT make me make suchi out of YOU!"
Everyone shut their mouths closed and started to tremble in fear as Ganondorf got out a new pack of cards, muttering to himself about stupid laughter and whatnot.
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Right next door to the Poker Match, was an even more insane occurance...
Pikachu moved the TV to the left, stopping under the painting of the Super Smash Brothers. He turned to Kirby and gave a thumbs up. "All right, the TV's ready!"
Kirby smiled. "Excellent! Let's test it out!" He pressed a button on the remote, and the words "THX" appeared on the screen, with the soundspeakers exploding with loudness.
"WHOOOOOOOOOOAA!!!!" Pikachu screamed, being blown into Kirby due to the huge explosion of sound.
The sound, however, didn't lower down; instead, it got annoyingly louder!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Pikachu and Kirby screamed dramatically in horror, trying to turn off the sound-blasting TV.
Kirby frabtically pressed random buttons on the remote, but wasn't having any luck. "ACK! The remote's not working!"
"Gimme that damn remote, puffball boy!" Pikachu shouted, snatching the remote from Kirby and rapidly pressing all of the buttons, when the remote suddenly exploded, leaving the two cute characters in dismay.
Unfortunately, the sound started to bounce around the room, much to Kirby and Pikachu's misfortune.
"WE GOTTA CALL TV HELP SERVICE!!" Kirby shouted.
Pikachu nodded quickly. "Right!" He grabbed the phone and pressed several numbers, until he heard the ring.
"Hello. You have called the TV Help Service. If your TV is annoyingly loud, press 1. If your TV is fuzzing out, press 2. If you are a moronic electric mouse and an idiotic puffball, press 3," The phone server said.
Pikachu threw the phone at the TV in anger, but sadly, only the phone broke, but the TV didn't.
"DAMN IT!" Pikachu shouted, covering his ears. "Kirby, we'll have to do this ourselves!"
Kirby moaned. "Awwwww! Do we have to?" He was grabbed by Pikachu and dragged towards the soundspeakers.
Pikachu started pumping electricity. "On my mark...3...2..."
Kirby got out his hammer, and waited for Pikachu's signal.
"1...NOW!" Pikachu shouted, firing electrical jolts at the soundspeaker on the right.
Kirby shouted out a war cry, and started repeatiately whacking the left soundspeaker with his hammer.
As much as the electric rodent and the pink puffball tried, the sound continued bouncing off, until finally...
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!
The entire room was covered in smoke. The TV exploded into many pieces, and both Pikachu and Kirby were on the ground, moaning in pain.
"So much for watching the NBA playoffs..." Pikachu twitched, trying to move his legs.
Kirby couldn't even wobble. "You're telling...urp...me..." He closed his eyes and went into unconciousness.
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Crash moaned, shaking his head in disbelief. "I can't believe it! I got crappy cards, and I have only 13 coins!" He slammed his head on the table. "Awww man!"
Vincent Valentine chuckled, patting Crash on the back. "Hey, it could be worse. You could have nearly nothing, like Banjo and Kazooie there."
Banjo nodded, looking at the cards in his right palm. "Vincent's right, Kazooie. There goes your birdseed fund!"
Kazooie chuckled, rubbing her wings together. "Oh yeah, Banjo?" She whispered into the honeybear's right ear. "Watch this." The red-crested female breegull pointing to the window. "Look! Here comes ol' Grunty Winkeybunion!"
Everyone jumped in surprise, even Tiptup!
Kazooie swiped 1/4 of Fox McCloud's pile, and chuckled to herself.
Falco growled. "Grrr...I don't see the stupid witch anywhere."
Wario started mumbling. "Me, niether." He poured several Dorito chips down his mouth, much to everyone's disgust.
Yoshi turned to Kazooie. "Where was Grunty, Kazooie?"
Kazooie sweatdropped and chuckled nervously. "Errr...false alarm. Must have been my imagination."
Everyone let out a sigh of relief as they resumed the poker game.
"Come on, evil black-beast dude. Deal the cards," Kazooie said, smirking as she looked at Banjo's cards.
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Meanwhile, in another room of the huge hotel, we find Marth comforting Samus after a frustrating day at the McDonald's below...
"Ugh! I'm sick of cleaning the tables 3 times a day!" Samus growled, "Can't there be a day where we can get a break?"
Marth nodded in agreement. "You got a good point there, Samus. Hell, I can't even put up with the slops who eat down there!" He shuddered.
Samus got an idea, and she snapped her fingers. "Maybe...just maybe...we can have our own personal jobs!"
Marth rubbed his chin. "Go on..."
Samus nodded, and she whispered into Marth's ear about the idea she had.
Marth's face expression changed, from intruiging to happy. "That's a great idea, Samus!"
"Shhh!" Samus placed her left hand over Marth's mouth. "Don't shout so loud, you idiot! You want the others to hear!?"
"Sorry..." Marth muttered from his covered mouth.
Samus sighed and removed her hand from Marth's mouth. "Well, we best be going. We can't just sit here on our lazy butts!"
Marth nodded, and he got up in a heroic pose. "Right! Let's go...to work at Taco Bell!"
"MARTH!" Samus screamed, beating up Marth, who was screaming in pain.
Roy, who was in the bathroom taking a shower, didn't even hear what was happening, so he shrugged the conversation off as if Marth and Samus weren't in the room.
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"Dang it, I got the small blind again. Fold." Heppy announces, folding his deck of cards.
Yoshi groans. "You're lucky, Heppy. I got the big one. Call."
Fox ponders for a bit. "Umm...call."
"Call." Falco simply announces, drinking some soda.
Peppy shows his cards to everyone. "Fold."
Wario smashes his cards down on the table, grinning. "Raise $50!" He shouts.
"You said the limits were $60!" Crash Bandicoot protested.
"My raise is perfectly legit!" Wario shouts back at the orange bandicoot.
"...Fold." Fox starts again.
"Call," Everyone else say in unison.
Ganondorf nods his head. "Right, then. Let's see those cards." He takes everyone's cards and deals the flop.
Peppy munches down on the lettuce he has aquired from the food table. He then notices that the fruit dish has a few oranges and apples. "Hey Bronto, I think you'd need to cut more slices of oranges and apples!"
"I'm on it!" Bronto shouted back from the kitchen, making several more different, yet tasty, foods.
Yoshi sighed, looking at his pile of coins. "Well, this is certainly a bore-killer. Let's just hope it doesn't end quick." He laughed, along with everyone else.
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Author's Notes: Don't worry, ladies and gentlemen, the poker match continues in the next chapter, so sit back and relax, because the excitement is far from over!