New Author's Note: No, I am not kidding. This actually does not involve Yoshi in a race. Despite the whole thing being named after him. Yeah.
Old Author's Notes: Well, you've all been waiting, and you all have been beggin', so I'm gonna give you all a treat - TWO race chapters of the Rocky Castle Mountain racecourse! And after playing both Mario Kart 64 and Diddy Kong Racing, I'm sure that you'll come to enjoy it. Have fun!
Disclaimer: Ach, my brain hurts. How many reviews do we have? Only 380!? (explodes)
Yoshi: Trust me, that won't seem like anything when you look at how many reviews this has now.
Dr. Hoshi: Stop breaking the fourth wall and get back to the story.
Yoshi: All right. (drives off in a pipe framed bright green kart)
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we thank the following companies for sponsoring Yoshi Kart! Or, more specifically, the 1st Annual Yoshi Kart Grand Prix!" Master Hand announces, "All right, racers, are you ready?"
"Go Spongebob and Patrick!" Yoshi and Peppy Ankylosaurus exclaimed from their seats within the audience.
Dr. Hoshi sighed. "Calm down, you two. The action is starting up soon."
"But I want the action NOW!" Peppy shouted.
"Yeah, and it'll only get exciting once the race starts!" Yoshi adds.
Dr. Hoshi sighs and shakes his head. "Fine, feel free to act like brainless monkeys. I don't care," The highly intelligent, purple Yoshisaurus said, adjusting his lightblue glasses.
"3...2...1...AND THEY'RE OFF!" Master Hand booms loudly, as the audience heer as they watch all of the racers zoom into the warp portal, which leads into the Rocky Castle Mountain racecourse.
"...Wait a minute... I just realized that I'm not racing in this grand prix! FUCK!" Yoshi exclaimed, causing everyone to gasp in shock from hearing the green dinosaur.
Upon exitting the warp portal from the Wonder Fields, all of the racers have made it into the Rocky Mountain Racecourse, and are starting to go up. In 1st place are Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star, with Mermaidman and Banricleboy right behind them, in 2nd place. Various different colored Yoshis were cheering them on, because we needed an excuse to involve Yoshis in a story named Yoshi Kart.
"Hang on, Patrick!' yells Spongebob, as he tosses in a mushroom into the engine to speed away.
Patrick screams in joy, laughing as he lets go of his grip on the steering wheel.
"Er...Patrick," Starts Spongebob, with a bit of fear in his tone.
Patrick stopped laughing and looked at Spongebob, which made him lose his goofy grin. "Yes, Spongebob?"
"WHO'S DRIVING THE CAR!?" Spongebob exclaimed, as he and Patrick went crashing into the right side of the brown mountain.
Mermaidman and Barnicleboy zoomed right past the knocked out sponge and starfish, concentrating on getting up ahead.
"Release the oil, Barnicleboy!" commands Mermaidman, as he mades a sharp left turn, "We can't let those other racers get up to us!"
Barnicleboy nods, and he releases several oil cans onto the road, watching the oil spill from the cans.
Amy Rose and Shadow the Hedgehog meanwhile, are coming up to Mermaidman and Barnicleboy, about to pass...or seems as if they were, when they started slipping on the oil, and crashed into the left side of the brown mountain.
Barnicleboy laughed victoriously. "We did it, Mermaidman! We got rid of the two hedgehogs!"
"Excellent job, Barnicleboy! Up, up, and away!" Mermaidman shouts, as Barnicleboy uses a rocket booster to zoom the Invisible Mobile faster on the racecourse.
Back with Spongebob and Patrick, who were previously crashed, the two water-dwelling creatures have fixed up their car, and are now in 23rd place.
"We gotta catch up to make up for lack of time!" Patrick exclaims, hoping into the passenger nods, and he hops into the driver's seat. "Right, then!" He placed the key inside.
Patrick suddenly remembered something. "HEY WAIT A MINUTE! I thought you couldn't drive unless you have a driver's license!" He shouts.
Spongebob smirks, and to quote his line from the Spongebob Squarepants Movie, he says, in a dramatic voice, "Patrick, my dear boy, you don't need a driver's license to drive a sandwich."
And saying that, the Patty Wagon zoomed away, permitting Spongebob and Patrick to pass some of the racers who have passed them.
Moe/Lenny/Carl are catching up to Groundskeeper Willie and Earthworm Jim. They're right about to pass.
"Lenny, take the steering wheel! Barney, fill up the engine with lots of beer juices! Carl, lay traps behind out car! I'll handle these two dweebs!" Moe shouted, as he took a bo-bomb and threw it at Groundskeeper Willie and Earthworm Jim.
"Ack!" WIllie shouted, taking out a baseball bat and repelling the bo-bomb back at Moe. "Not a chance!"
Moe screamed, catching the bo-bomb and throwing it back at Groundskeeper Willie.
Willie gave another mighty swing with his bat, and the bomb flinged into the mountain wall, exploding.
"Phew! Thanks, Willie!' Earthworm Jim said, as he slammed his foot on the pedal and the tank took off.
"AFTER THEM!" Moe shouted, taking out several more bo-bombs and throwing them at Earthworm Jim and Groundskeeper Willie.
As Lenny tried to find openings to pass by Willie/Earthworm Jim, Barney Gumble squeezed oil out of the oil cans he was surrounded by, while drinking beer. Carl was dropping mines, bubbles, and bananas behind as he watched the opposing racers slipping up/crashing on them.
Finally, with an explosion from one of the thrown bo-bombs, Groundskeeper Willie and Earthworm Jim started to slow down, as Moe/Lenny/Carl passed by them.
"YES!" Cheered loudly the three men, as the slapped each other's hands.
Barney waved at the slowing Groundskeeper Willie and Earthworm Jim. "So long, Supermen!" He unintelligently blabbered, as he let out his trademark belch afterwards.
Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star were both getting back on track as they zoomed on the road upwards the mountain. Patrick made two left turns on the curves ahead, and made a powerslide on the right curve. Spongebob tossed in several mushrooms into the Patty Wagon's engine as the two underwater dwellers sped up, and he blew bubbles behind him.
Within a matter of 4 minutes, Spongebob and Patrick caught up to Mermaidman and Barnicleboy.
"All right, Spongebob, let's win this race!" Patrick shouts, as he zooms towards the Invisible Mobile.
Barnicleboy turns around in time to see Spongebob and Patrick, and he throws a mine behind him. "Take this!" He shouts at them.
Spongebob screams, but then he grabs a star, and throws it into the Patty Wagon. With the invincibility of the star, Spongebob and patrick easily break the mine, and they collide into Mermaidman and Barnicleboy, sending the old heroic duo crashing into the incoming Haru Glory.
"GAAAAAAAH!" Screams in pain Haru Glory, as he gets smashed into the right wall of the huge, brownish mountain. "Ourgh..."
"Mermaidman/Barnicleboy and Haru Glory have been kncoked into the mountain side!" Master Hand booms ethusiastically, "With Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star regaining the lead, the racers continue to climb up the mountain as they approach the tunnel to the castle!"
And as he announces this, the audience cheer loudly as they continue watching the race on the projectile screen.
aDr. Mario is in his laboratory, looking at the unconcious Sonic the Hedgehog. He frowns and shakes his head. "Oh Sonic...I know how this disease must feel..." He looked up. "I'll do my best you make you feel better..."
Sonic lay on the bed, unconcious, and seemed to be burning up badly.
"Spongebob and Patrick have retained the lead!" Master Hand bodly announces loudly, "But coming up behind them are Moe/Lenny/Carl, followed up by Team Eggman."
"I have the master plan!" Dr. Eggman laughed as he was driving his vehicle.
"Come on, Spongebob!" Yoshi shouted, wiggling his tail. "Beat 'em to the tunnel!"
"Go Moe, go Moe, don't make Homer shout out D'oh!" Princess Peach Toadstool, Princess Zelda, Nana, Jigglypuff, Sheik, Samus, Toadette, Princess Daisy, and Zero Suit Samus all cheered, dressed like cheerleaders.
"I never knew these girls liked Moe." Toad remarked to Waluigi.
Waluigi scoffed, his arms folded as he rolled his eyes. "Figures. These girls are into moe shit."
"Come on, Patrick!" Spongebob gulps, "Give me another item!"
"You guys are so disgusting." Patrick grunted, turning the steering wheel to the left, impacting the left side of the Patty Wagon. "Omph! Spongebob, this isn't easy! Give me a break!" He narrowly swerved to the right, avoiding two hurdling boulders.
Moe was swerving all around every rumbling boulder that came at them. "Geeze oh man! This place would give Indiana Jones nightmares!" He exclaimed, swerving to the right to avoid three fast coming boulders.
"You can say that again, Moe!" Carl shouted, throwing beer jugs at Eggman's Eggmobile. "We're going to have to do our best in this racecourse!"
"Moe, go to your-BRAAAAAAAAAAAP-right!" Barney belched, pointing at the tunnel coming into view.
Moe swerved over to the tunnel. "We'll make it!" He laughed.
"Hold on, Spongebob, I'm going deep!" Patrick shouted to his best friend, slamming his foot on the pedal and accelerating the Patty Wagon to speeds over 88 miles per hour.
"Where's Doctor Emmet Brown when you need him?" Dr. Hoshi asked, looking up at the projectile screen while reading his Science Monthly.
Doc Brown was actually nearby, selling some flux compacitors to the people who were asking to have one, with Dr. Hoshi unaware of this.
"Great Scott... the things I do for a cameo that restores the space time continuim..." Doc Brown stated as a smile returned to his face, resuming his vendor duties.
Moe meanwhile was jetting through the tunnel, when they heard a man scream as they head over a bump. "What the hell was that!?"
Carl looked underneath, just as Moe stopped the car. "Uh oh. I think we ran over Jasper!"
"Jasper? You mean that -BRAAAAAAAAAAP- old man who's friends with Homer's dad?" Barney asked, drinking more beer.
Spongebob and Patrick went zooming by Moe's group, followed swiftly by Team Eggman.
"Barnicles!" Spongebob moaned, "They're STILL behind us!"
Patrick sighed. "Then stop complaining and DO something!" He shouted back.
Spongebob rubbed his chin, when he snapped his fingers. "I got it!" He took out all of his fry cook utensils and his fry cook essentials. "Krabbie Patties aren't only good to eat, but their fat can clog up even a car!" He started making Krabby Patties as fast as he could, flinging the cooked burgers at the Eggmobile's engine, making it stutter.
Grounder started to panic. "Ulp! Boss, what was that?" He asked, shivering.
Eggman checked the engine. "Blast! We've been burgered!" He shouted.
Scratch looked inside. "Awk! Who ordered engine black hamburgers!?" He squawked.
At last, after being clogged up with too many Krabby Patties, the Eggmobile exploded, sending Eggman, Scratch, and Grounder bouncing all over the tunnel.
"AHHH!" Grounder screamed, "Boss! We need Bokkun! Can you call him over!"
Moe and Carl, meanwhile, were helping Jasper get back up, while Lenny and Barney watch the other racers pass by them.
Eggman signaled for Bokkun's appearance, and the little robot soon appeared.
"Reporting for duty, sir!" Bokkun said, saluting.
Eggman pointed at his wrecked Eggmobile. "Bokkun, I need you to fix the Eggmobile as fast as possible. Can you do it?"
Bokkun laughed. "Fixing is my middle name!" He went to the Eggmobile to fix it as fast as he could while several racers passed him.
"Looks like the other racers are passing Moe's group and Eggman's group," Master Hand observes with Taj, "And there goes Any Rose and Shadow the Hedgheog, since Sonic couldn't join them in this race today."
"Ugh," Jasper groaned, "I can't feel my legs anymore..."
"There, there." Carl said, "We'll get Homer to fix you up."
"...Hey, is Homer even in this race?" Lenny asked Moe.
"SOMEBODY FAT GET IN MY WAY!" Homer screamed, his car falling from the sky after getting lost on the stadium roof.
"Incoming, everyone!" Moe screamed, pointing to Homer's falling form.
Homer landed right on top of Barney Gumble. Ironically, Barney was unfazed.
"Homer, you - BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP - made it to the race!" Barney said, hugging Jasper, thinking he's Homer Simpson.
Carl laughed. "That's our Barney for ya." He said, grinning.
Homer Simpson felt dizzy, disoriented and as always, extremely hungry. "Whuuuhh...I feel like the hamburger man got to me again I...Oooh! Flying Geckos!" He pointed at several, flying geckos.
Suddenly, the "cat lady" came running at them from the mountain slope nearby, ranting and raving and throwing her cats at them.
"ARGH!" Haru Glory screamed, spinning out of control due to the cats, and crashing into the tunnel wall.
"C'mon, guys, we gotta hurry before we're dead last!" Lenny said, starting up the vehicle.
Carl nodded. "He's got a point." He picked up Jasper and threw him into Moe's vehicle.
Barney followed, but he accidentely fell on top of Jasper. "Hey! A comfy chair!" He made himself fell comfortable, which was bad news for poor old Jasper.
"Ready, Moe?" Lenny shouted to Moe.
"Ready? I was BORN ready!" Moe started to rev up the engine. "Let's get going, then!"
"BRAAAAAAAAAAAP!" Barney Gumble belched loudly.
Meanwhile, all the way in the front, Spongebob and Patrick were having some problems with some of the racers trying to pass.
"Patrick, give me something!" Spongebob shouted back.
Patrick sweatdropped. "I don't know how, Spongebob! This racecourse won't let me-DUCK!" He ducked, as did Spongebob, as the two sea creatures drove under a ridge above.
Sadly enough, Groundskeeper Willie and Earthworm Jim weren't paying as much attention, and they ended up crashing head-first into the ridge, being knocked unconcious.
"Yeah, Spongebob and Patrick!" Yoshi and Peppy cheered, "You can do it, you can do it, go go go! Beat 'em all, beat 'em all, go go go!"
"If you cheer like that again, I'm going to Warlock Punch you two to where the sun won't shine!" Ganondorf growled.
Yoshi and Peppy whimpered, hiding behind Dr. Hoshi, who sighed.
Somewhere from the stands, one of Link's many rapid fans shouted out, "Link will stick his sword up your hairy ass, Ganondork!"
"Shut up!" A fat, Ganondorf fan growled, pushing the Link fan, "Ganondorf can knock that sword-weilding sissy in a minute!"
"Sissy!?" Link exclaimed, gritting his teeth. "That's it..." He took out his bow, aimed at the Ganondorf fan, and knocked him our cold with the arrow.
Everyone gasped as they noticed what Link did, booing at the elf man as several people chucked their popcorn at him. Samus chuckled, shaking her head at Link's activity.
Captain Falcon sighed, shaking his head in disappointment as he folded his arms. "Link, we're here for the race, not to hurt innocent people."
Link sighed, sitting down while Ganondorf tried not to snicker.
Back on the racecourse, Jak's group was fast approaching Knuckles/Rouge and Tails/Cream. They were about to pass.
"Give me a bomb, Jak!" Daxter laughed, "I'll take those SEGA chumps out in one blow!'
Jak backed up. "Whoa there, Daxter. I think we should let Sly Cooper have the honors." He turned to Slyt. "What do you say, Sly?"
Sly took up one of his bombs and aimed it right for the engine. "Watch this, I'll blow those guys away." He said, smirking.
Sly launched the small bomb, which attached itself to Tails/Cream's engine. He licked his cane, and the bomb went off.
"AHHHH!" Tails and Cream shouted, being plunged into the air.
Amy, noticing him from the window, gasped loudly. "Shadow! Watch out, there's bombs flying!" She shrieked.
"NOOOOOOO!" Cheese screamed in the famous, dramatic, and overused Darth Vader voice, landing headfirst on Shadow. "Oww!"
"And take THIS!" Daxter shouted, kicking Amy and Shadow's vehicle, causing them to crash into the tunnel's side wall.
Jak gave Sly a high five. "Now THAT'S what I'm talking about, Sly." Jak said, smiling.
Daxter laughed. "Yeah, and I got to kick the crap out of those losers behind us!"
"The race is certianly turning to be interesting," Taj announces, this time, for Master Hand, "The racers have gone through the tunnel, and are now inside the small castle, which is ironically built within the mountains. What will happen as the race gets more and more exciting? Find out next time, ladies and germs! Er, I mean, Gentlemen!"
"...Which will be right now!" Master Hand exclaimed as he snapped his fingers, causing the scene to change.
"C'mon!" Yoshi shouted impatiently, "Beat those losers, Spongebob and Patrick!'
Dr. Hoshi looked at Yoshi in shock and surprise. "My, Yoshi, you sure are pumped up."
Bronto laughs. "Yeah, he hasn't been THIS pumped up since we watched Viva Pinata a couple of nights ago."
Heppy blinked. "Wait...we watched Viva Pinata?"
"Of course we did, Heppy," Bronto told his purple Ankylosaurus buddy, "Don't you remember the episode at all?"
Heppy continued blinking. "Um...actually, to be exact...no. Why?"
Bronto sighed. "This looks like a job for...FLASHBACK!" He shouted, as a flashback suddenly appeared.
BRONTO'S FLASHBACK
"Viva Pintata...filled with fun! FILLED WITH FUN!" Yoshi and Bronto sang merrily, obviously watching Viva Pintata on their widescreen TV.
"Wait, do we even need a widescreen TV?" Yoshi asked Bronto.
Bronto laughed. "Nah, let's just watch Viva Pinata. I heard that Fergy's going to outer space."
Yoshi's eyes lit up. "Ooh... that sounds exciting!" He giggled excitedly.
END FLASHBACK
"...What the fucking seven depths of goddamn hell was that?" Pikachu asked, scratching his head with his right paw.
Dr. Hoshi sighed, shaking his head. "Ah, it was nothing, Pikachu, mah boi... it was nothing," He assured the yellow, electric mouse Pokemon.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Spongebob and Patrick are honor roll!" Master Hand announced, before laughing, "Get it? Honor Roll? On a roll?"
Crickets chirped. A random, deep pitched brassy fart from Princess Peach was then heard.
"Sorry," Peach stated with a blush as she had her hands down, everyone glancing at her, the pun literally stinking badly.
Master Hand groaned. "Fine, don't listen to me...I'll just be announcing..." He said, muttering to himself while Taj watched, uncomfortable.
"Erm...yes..." Taj said, still watching Master Hand, "And now, back to the race!" He boomed.
Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star were now going through the castle.
"Yahoo!" Spongebob laughed, giving Patrick a high five, "We're in 1st place, and without anyone coming at us from behind!'
"Yeah!" Patrick laughed. Interestingly enough, he was a bit more cautious now than he ever was, and he was definitely paying attention to the race if they were to keep 1st place.
Suddenly, at the moment, T.T. came zooming right by the two undersea creatures.
"HEY!" Spongebob yelled, "Get back here, T.T.!"
T.T. laughed. "Too bad!' He released oil behind him, causing Spongebob and Patrick to slip over it.
"GAH!" Spongebob and Patrick screamed, trying to get a hold of the wheel.
"Spongebob, what do we doooooo?" Patrick asked, falling out of the car and screaming as we slid around in the oil.
Spongebob gasped. "Hang on, Patrick!' He grabbed a rope, and threw it at Patrick. "Catch!"
Patrick caught the rope. "Now what?"
"Put it around you and don't let go!" Spongebob said. Patrick did exactly as Spongebob instructed. Spongebob nodded, and he grabbed a rocket booster. "That T.T. guy...he's not going to get away with this!" Spongebob said, grabbing three missiles and firing them ahead.
"Are we going to blast off?" Patrick asked, still slidding on the oil but having the rope around his body tightly.
Spongebob nodded. "Patrick, my good old chum, we are - we're gonna win this race, no matter what!"
And with that, Spongebob lighted up the rocket booster, and it sent the Patty Wagon zooming through the castl.e
"AHHHH!" Spongebob and Patrick screamed, as they made left and right curves to avoid the pillars, and zoomed past T.T.
"WHAT!?" T.T. exclaimed, much to his surprise, as he was then bombarded by the three missiles. "ARGH!"
Spongebob laughed. "Hahaha!" He taunted at T.T., pointing at himself with both of his hands as he stuck his tongue out. "You can't get us!"
"Nanananana, ha!" Patrick laughed while waving his arms, before he collided with several rocks on the ground, followed by 4 bumps. "Urgh...Spongebob, can you pull me up now?" He weakly asked, before he was collided again by a 5th bump.
Spongebob sweatdropped as he looked down at Patrick, and laugh nervously. "Ehehehe...I'm sorry, pat." He brought back up an injured Patrick, who now had injuries all over his head and body.