Disclaimer: Do not own Black Lagoon
Warnings for mentions of murder, child abuse and discussion of mental illness
Of windmills and madmen
Balalaika had accepted that her lover, Revy, while not illiterate, had not read nearly as much as the Russian herself had.
She would make references here and there, not because she expected Revy to know the references, but because that was just her way.
Revy, needless to say, didn't get these references, she often would scoff or just nod. It occurred to Balalaika, at some point, that Revy must have been looking the references up-most likely on Benny's computer, since Revy began to mention the titles of the books that Balalaika was referring to.
While it wasn't the same as Revy reading those books, it still meant she was aware of them.
Balalaika often couldn't help but smile fondly at Revy when Revy would grumble about Balalaika reading one of those "real books."
Revy was not unintelligent. Balalaika knew this. The younger woman just hadn't been afforded many opportunities to read that much literature.
Then Revy made a reference that almost made Balalaika drop her cigar.
One day after Balalaika had finished off putting some lowly gang members in their place and after her men had brought back the supplies said gang members had tried to steal, she had invited Revy back to her office, and naturally, Revy happily arrived.
Night was beginning to arrive as well, and Balalaika was sure that it wouldn't take much for Revy to stay the night.
Unfortunately, Rock, as always, had butted himself into her business and had tried to show off to Chang, assuring the older man that Balalaika should listen to Chang.
Balalaika as always, had to fight the urge to reach for her gun when Rock was around. She tried to remind herself that killing Rock would hurt Revy.
Thankfully, the day ended without Rock's arrogant and ignorant face being blasted off, regardless of how much Balalaika desired that result.
As Revy sat at the edge of the desk, leaning back deliberately, trying to lean close so that she could tempt Balalaika into a kiss, the blonde said dryly, as she made her phone call, "Patience, sweet girl. Right after I'm finished."
"Boring," Revy scoffed, and pulled back, but didn't move from the desk.
After Balalaika finished her phone call and hung up, about five minutes later, Balalaika got up from her chair and began to move around to the desk, her nearly finished cigar in hand as she said, "Pleased you did not leave, little one."
"Took you long enough," Revy said, snickering, "Lucky I didn't run off."
Now, even before she said the words, Balalaika knew she shouldn't have said it, but the words still fell out, "Run off to your salaryman?"
Revy stiffened and glared at Balalaika.
The Russian said quickly, smiling sadly, "Apologies, Rebecca. I shouldn't have said that."
"You really get suspicious of me and him, huh?" Revy said, sighing.
"I know I shouldn't," Balalaika lamented, looking at Revy softly, "His attention to you…bothers me."
"Why?" Revy asked, looking at Balalaika skeptically.
"Because he's a threat, Rebecca," Balalaika sighed, "I know you don't see him that way. But he is. He just is good at making you believe that he's one of the defenseless sheep. And not the danger that he is."
Revy shook her head, rolling her eyes as she said, "Okay, easy, Don Quixote, Rock's not a windmill. Or a giant or whatever."
Balalaika almost dropped her cigar, after a beat, after she processed what she had just heard her lover say.
"You…," Balalaika mumbled, blinking as she looked at Revy more carefully, "How do you know that reference?"
In all her time of being with Revy, Balalaika was certain that she hadn't ever mentioned a reference to that particular piece of literature.
Revy glanced at Balalaika and shrugged. "C'mon, remember, I told you when we first fucked in your bed that I read some books. But not much."
Balalaika let out a small chuckle. It was in no way a surprise to her that Revy referred to their first time in Balalaika's bed, which Balalaika saw as intimate, as "fucking."
It certainly hadn't been their first time having sex, but by that point, she was sure that it was a turning point and she was positive that Revy had known it too.
But the point was? Revy had just referenced Don Quixote. Something that Balalaika never would have expected.
"When did you read it, if I may ask?" Balalaika said, tilting her head at Revy, her right eyebrow arched in curiosity.
"Eh," Revy said, again, looking like she might roll her eyes, now that they were on another subject that didn't involve Balalaika's hands or mouth on her or Revy's hands or mouth on Balalaika, "when I was in like seventh grade or something. I don't know. It was a real stupid thing and it was a real stupid reason why I grabbed the book. The library near my neighborhood, it didn't have any real security things. No scanners or alarms that would go off if a book was taken. And I see this book that has this cool cover on it. It's this creepy lookin' giant crossed with a windmill with some knight charging at it. So, I took it. No one caught me, obviously."
Revy looked mildly embarrassed at the admission. Most likely more because she was embarrassed at having thought the cover of a book was cool, rather than having stolen something.
"And you read it?" Balalaika asked, knowing the answer already.
"Yeah," Revy said, shrugging again, "I mean, I figured, 'why the fuck not?' So, I started reading it. I mean….I wasn't expecting to read it the whole way. My scumbag fucker of a father was passed out drunk almost all the damn time, and he never told me to go to school or anything like that, not like he'd of paid for it, anyway. So, I didn't have much to do. At first, when I was reading it, I just thought, 'wow, this guy's completely fuckin' bananas.' But it was weird. It was hard to put down. Till I finished it, anyway."
"And what did you think of the rest?" Balalaika asked, unable to help but be intrigued by this information.
Revy knew enough to make a windmill reference. Then again, that was the most well-known symbol of the story of Don Quixote. But still, Revy would have had to know that the windmill was a tie in to Don Quixote in the first place.
Revy gave a small chuckle, "I don't know. I mean, I still don't really get it. It felt like it was trying to say that you should honor having good intentions and follow through those good intentions to the end, but he obviously was unstable, and everyone around him wanted him to stop. The only reason why the main character survives to the end of the book is because of his friend, Sancho Panza."
Balalaika chuckled. She supposed it wasn't a surprise that Revy still didn't get the point of the famous Spanish book. She was, however, surprised that Revy remembered the name of Alonso's friend and companion.
Yes, the book preached morals but it was a warning against falling too in love with an idealized fictional world.
That was the whole point of having the main character in the book most likely having schizophrenia.
Because for poor mentally unwell Alonso, who called himself "Don Quixote, the man from La Mancha," who lived during a time when there were no therapists or medications available, to be the main character, it made the chance to warn people of the dangers of fiction of one's imagination, all the stronger.
And no, those with schizophrenia didn't have a choice in the matter of whether or not their world was surrounded by fiction, watching objects speak and move, but a lot of the story was symbolic.
And yes, really, the only reason why Alonso survived as long as he did in the book? Was because of his "squire," Sancho Panza. Which led Balalaika to a thought that made her sigh, smiling sadly, thinking back to Rock.
"I'm surprised that you still decided to make that reference," Balalaika confessed, "Although, I am curious about your awareness of Don Quixote's recklessness. Panzo was indeed the only reason why he survived. Just like you're the only reason why Rock still lives."
Revy froze.
Revy stared at Balalaika with some anger. "Rock isn't out of his mind," she said, "If he's insane, then so am I. So are you. You definitely fucking are, sis."
Balalaika nodded. She supposed that was true. But still, it troubled her how quickly Revy was to protect Rock.
"Look," Revy said, sounding frustrated, "Do you wanna fuck or not?"
Balalaika would have laughed, but she knew they had just touched on a deeper issue than book references.
She smiled as she nodded, putting her cigar out, and slowly taking Revy into her arms gently, all but purring as Revy leaned into Balalaika and hungrily half kissed, half bit her scarred lover's neck.
Balalaika tried not to think of the danger that Rock continued to pull Revy into. Tried not to think of all Revy was willing to risk for Rock's madness.
Balalaika swore to herself that all she needed was one more incentive, then she would happily be the windmill that Rock tilted at, and would end him.
Author's note
I have no idea at all why this popped into my brain. It just did.