At the Cat's Tail, Blitzo and Loona were busy with a mighty battle against none other than Prince, serious looks on their faces as they put all of their might in the battle.
Then, Blitzo suddenly exclaimed « Klee! Use Fatman! », as he used a card portraying Klee against Prince's Hilichurls, who managed to take the hit well none the less.
« Lisa! Zap his balls! » Loona added, as she commanded her Lisa card to attack as well.
However, once Prince turn came around, he simply counterattacked and defeated their already heavily damaged cards, winning the match.
« "And once more, thy asses have been whooped for a mighty 3295439857349875092875082437504375939456207410924698325702 times." » Shuyun translated, the poor man being essentially a mummy because of all the bandages on his body, courtesy of an angry Imp the day Blitzo was defeated by Prince.
« FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! » Blitzo cursed angrily, as he yeeted the table to the stratosphere.
« WHAT THE FUCK!? I've calculated everything, the dice rolls, the card stats, fucking everything! I've spent an entire fucking week trying to find the best strategy to kick your ass! » Loona added.
« No matter how much you plan ahead, as it currently stands your skills are still insufficient against the greatest player in all realms. » Shuyun replied.
« Whatever! I'm not moving my freaking ass out of here until I've beaten you! I will not rest, you damned pussycat! » Blitzo shouted angrily.
« As long as you stop getting more drinks….» an annoyed Diona commented.
« SHUT UP AND GET US A FUCKING BEER! » Loona roared out, before Moxxie intervened and dragged a terrified Diona to safety.
« Still at it, aren't they? » Moxxie asked.
« Can you please get them out? » Diona pleaded.
« I fear not, sugar. They're gonna be at it for a while. » Millie replied.
« Oh, goodie…» Diona groaned.
« Well since they're gonna be here for a while, we're off for a walk. » Moxxie replied, before handing Diona a small gun. « This is a nuclear zapper. If they start to cause problems, you know what to do. »
« Okay! » Diona replied cheerfully, as the two Imps exited the building.
« I swear Blitzo can be childish at times. » Millie complained.
« "At times?" » Moxxie replied sarcastically.
« …MORE childish at times….» Millie replied.
« Yeah that makes sense… » Moxxie replied.
« But to see Loona like this too? Now that's a new one…» Millie noted.
« Ever since Prince beat her last time, she's been obsessed with that freaking card game. And I mean serial killer levels of obsessed. »
Xxxxxxx
Flashback
« Hey Loona, Mr. Diluc wants you to kill some Hilichurls, do you have a moment? » Mona asked as she entered her room, now covered in Genius Invokation TGC rules, cards and dices.
In response, she slowly turned towards the Imp, her head almost turning 180° doing so. « Mona, let me explain something to you. Whenever you, Moxxie, Millie and Emergency Food come in here and interrupt me, you're breaking my concentration. You're distracting me. And it will then take me time to get back to where I was. You understand? »
« Uh…yeah? » Mona replied.
« Now, we're going to make a new rule. When you come in here and you hear me planning Genius Invokation TGC, or whether you DON'T hear me planning Genius Invokation TGC, or whatever the FUCK you hear me doing; when I'm in here, it means that I am working, THAT means don't come in. Now, do you think you can handle that? » Loona asked angrily.
« …You do realize it's just a fucking card game, right? » Mona asked annoyed.
« YOUR FACE IS GONNA BE A FUCKING CARD GAME WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU! » Loona roared out, as she lunged towards Mona, who simply slammed the door at the Hell Hound, her face coming out as she was Willy Coyote.
« Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in. Not by the hair of your chiny-chin-chin? Well then, I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in! » Loona creepily said, as she punched a hole in the door, before getting her head out of it with a deranged look on her face. « HEEEEERE'S LOOONEEEYYYY-»
In response, Mona just slammed her face with a shovel. « Hilichurls. Now. »
« Fuck off. »
Xxxxxxx
« Well eventually that Prince fellow will give them a pity win or something…» Millie said, before noticing a man with short black hair and blue eyes.
« Will this prescription really work...? » he was pondering, before the Imps walked in.
« Hello good sir! Forgive our intrusion, but you have the face of a man that needs help. » Moxxie greeted him.
« Oh hey Imps! And the nice ones at that! You've got great timing. I was just in a spot of bother. My sister, Anna, had always been sickly, and nothing's managed to cure her. » the man replied. « But I heard that there's an incredible doctor in Liyue Harbor who is especially skilled at curing the incurable. So, I asked someone to help me get a prescription from him. The ingredients are all very unusual... but I suppose I can only give it a shot. Would you please help me find them? »
« Anything for a citizen in need, sir. And don't worry, it's free of charge! » Moxxie replied.
« So what are we looking for? » Millie asked.
« Well, the prescription called for… a Dendro-Processed Berry, the thick condensate of a Hydro Slime, and a Wind-Caressed Aster. »
« Is this medicine or some bootleg voodoo crap? » Moxxie asked incredulous.
« At this point I'm desperate enough to try. » the man replied.
« Well, let's hope they work. We'll be back as soon as possible with the ingredients! » Moxxie replied, as the two headed to the Mondstadt wilds.
Xxxxxxx
Five minutes later.
« We got your ingredients! » Moxxie exclaimed.
« Excellent work, my friends. » the man replied. « Don't ask me why, but I have a feeling that if Anna eats this medicine, she will certainly get well. »
« There's hoping, sugar. » Millie replied.
« All the same, thank you so much. Take this as compensation for your trouble. » the man thanked the Imps.
« Anyway, we gotta go now. I have the feeling our boss is gonna cause a LOOT of troubles…» Moxxie replied.
As he said that, The Cat's Tail roof exploded.
« MY FUCKING TAVERN! »
Xxxxxxx
A few days later, Moxxie and Millie were once again casually walking in Mondstadt, before noticing the man they aided before, a concerned look on his face.
« How did this happen...» he mumbled.
« Hey buddy! Something's wrong? » Moxxie asked.
« Oh, it's you. Strange, in these couple of days it's just you two hanging around Mondstadt. What happened to your two other companions? » the man asked.
« …We don't talk about our "other companions." » Moxxie replied with a disgusted face.
Xxxxxxx
A few hours earlier, Blitzo and Loona ripped off the still-beating heart of a living Hilichurl, having restrained him on a pentagon made out of Genius Invokation TGC cards.
« Ho, sdog CGT noitakovnI suineG ythgimla! Tnaryt tacyssup eht taefed ot rewop eht dna ytilibicnivni su tnarg ot ecifircas a uoy reffo ew! » Blitzo and Loona chanted around the pentagon, as a dark portal opened in front of them.
Then, a dark shape materialized in front of the two, only for it to be revealed to be Alastor.
« Oh hello Imps! What brings you to summon me all the way from Liyue? » Alastor casually asked.
« We were trying to summon a Genius Invokation TGC god…. » a terrified Blitzo replied.
« Hohoho! What a joyful game you seem to be interested in! A shame that I find no amusement in committing in such a game myself! With that being said, toddles! I have plenty of businesses to attend to! » Alastor replied, before opening a portal and walking in it.
Xxxxxxx
On the other side, a dead Hilichurl, also restrained pentagon made out of Genius Invokation TGC cards, could be seen, as Alastor walked forward with the still beating heart of the poor creature. « NoW wHeRe WeRe We? » he said in a creepy tone, as the air around him distorted.
« For crying out loud, Alastor, let Husk keep his soul. I'm sure you can find a Hilichurl to replace him. » an annoyed Zhongli said out loud.
« Well that's just very rude of you, Mr. Zhongli! Not only you assume Husk could be replaced with a mindless punching dummy and test subject, also known as Chilli Churros, but you also spy on me! » Alastor shot back.
« We're in the Jade Chamber in the middle of a reunion between the Qixing and the Overlords, it's rather hard not to notice. » Zhongli replied, as he pointed at an annoyed group of Overlords and the utterly terrified Qixing.
« …I needed the tallest building in Liyue for the ritual…»
« I need a drink….»
Xxxxxxx
Back in Mondstadt….
« …I see….anyway, could I bother you with a request? » the man asked.
« Sure, sugar. What do you need? » Millie asked.
« Anna's been getting better ever since eating the medicine prescribed by that doctor. When she wasn't well, she needed a lot of rest, and so spent a lot of time convalescing at home. » the man replied. « Now that she's better, she's started pestering me every day to go out at play, and I couldn't refuse her. But now, I absolutely cannot find her. I have no idea where she's gone. Please help me find her! »
« No problem sir! I can totally understand how she feels, spreading her wings to a brand new world and everything. » Moxxie replied.
« I'll be waiting here. Please hurry. » the man thanked the Imp. « She just got better, and now she's scampering about. What will we do if something happens to her...? »
« She'll be FINE, don't worry! » Millie replied, as he and Moxxie headed out to search for her.
Xxxxxxx
At one of Mondstadt windmills…
« I'm so high up! My brother will never find me here! » Anna exclaimed.
« Will he now? » Moxxie smirked, catching the girl by surprise.
« Wah! How'd you get up here, and without a sound, too! No, wait. How did you even find me? » she gasped. « Me? I just climbed up here. My brother's looking for me? Huh. It's been some time, hasn't it? I hadn't noticed. »
« We're glad that you recovered and it's good to see you so lively, but you shouldn't worry your brother that much. » Millie scolded the girl.
« I got it. I'll go back soon. But first…I have a request…» Anna asked.
« Oh, sure, what is it? » Moxxie asked.
« Could…could I join the IMPs? » she requested.
« ….You what? » Moxxie asked incredulous.
« I-is there a problem with it? » Anna asked mortified.
« None of the sort, it's just…it's an odd thing to ask…» Moxxie replied. « Most of the people of Mondstadt view us as a threat to the human race, joining us will have all sorts of repercussions in your life…»
« But you essentially cured me! and you helped so many people in Mondstadt AND Liyue! Sure, you four can cause a bit of a ruckus, but you still help people! I wanna be like you! Minus…y'know…all the explosions…» Anna replied.
« That is KINDA part of the whole package, young lady… » Millie smirked nervously.
« Well, if that's the case, all we need to do is convincing your family and my boss! » Moxxie said.
Xxxxxxx
A few minutes later…
« ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT! »
It would be understandable for these words to come out of either Anna's brother or her family, but surprisingly, they were rather supportive of the idea, with her brother being the main source of disagreement having caved in rather easily.
No, these words belonged to none other than Blitzo, locked up in his room with Loona conjuring more dark magic to become stronger TGC players.
« C'mon, boss! I'm sure she can be a great addition to the team! » Millie complained.
« My decision is final! Now stop bothering us already! » Blitzo shot back.
« IT'S JUST A STUPID CARD GAME! » Moxxie shouted exasperated.
« TGC IS LOVE! TGC IS LIFE! » Loona replied.
« Y'know, I could teach you a few tricks if you let me be part of the team…» Anna bargained.
As she said that, Blitzo kicked the door open, sending the latter flying towards the city, most specifically at Kaeya's face, the latter letting out muffled screams of agony as the door struck his face.
« What are these tricks you speak of, tell us the tricks, tell us IMMEDIATELY. » Blitzo said angrily.
« Am I part of the team? » a worried Anna asked.
« Welcome to the team. » Blitzo replied, before dragging her to the room. « Now tell us the tricks or we'll rape your ass AND your balls! »
« This is gonna be one of those days, isn't it? » a desperate Moxxie commented.
Xxxxxxx
After teaching Blitzo and Loona a few tricks, Anna, Moxxie and Millie headed out to handle a commission by the Adventurer Guild.
Anna herself was now cladded in a bulletproof vest, courtesy of Moxxie, and a pistol.
« So what is our commission exactly? » Anna asked curiously.
« We're escorting some transport balloons. As a starting mission, this should be easy. » Moxxie replied, before pointing at said balloons.
« What's the most optimal way to escort them? » Anna asked, as they started their escort mission.
« Mostly in the front so we can shoot and stab any Chilli Churro that tries anything funny. » Millie replied.
« You mean Hilichurl? » Anna asked again.
« Yes. »
The group continued to escort the balloon in the wilderness of Mondstadt, until they reached their destination.
« And we're done! This went pretty well, I think. » Anna exclaimed.
« A shame we didn't meet any oppositions. Could had been a good test for you to use your gun…» Moxxie commented.
Just as he said that, a small horde of Hilichurl charged at the group.
« Never mind! Back to business! » Moxxie exclaimed, as he grabbed his Tommie gun and started blasting the opposition. At the same time, Millie dashed forward and sliced several Hilichurls with her axe.
As the two were busy dealing with the horde in front of them, they didn't notice one Hilichurl sneaking towards them.
But before the latter could strike, Anna struck first, shooting him in the head.
As the Hilichurl collapsed, Moxxie and Millie turned back surprised.
« Moxxie! Millie! I did it! I killed a Hilichurl! » Anna exclaimed happily.
« Great job! A bit hesitant, but you still did far better than I did when I was first handed a gun! » Moxxie complimented the girl.
« Nice! I'll keep working at it, then! » Anna exclaimed.
« And you'll do great, I'm sure! » Millie replied.
« Once I've saved up enough Mora, I'll bring my brother and our parents out on a trip! My brother always wanted to travel... But I fell ill, and he had to stay back to take care of me. » Anna explained. « But I'm well now, and I've even become an adventurer. Hehe. When the time comes, I'll help my brother fulfil some of his dreams too! »
« It is good to see a daughter of Mondstadt roaming free after a long illness… » a voice, belonging to Venti, could be heard from the top of a tree.
« Oh, hey Venti! How ya doin', Music man? » Millie greeted him.
« I would love to say I'm well, but there's a disturbance in the winds…. » Venti replied sarcastically. « I mean, no quirk? No snarly remark about my appearance? »
« Blitzo and Loona are busy learning how to play TGC. » Moxxie replied.
« I see…and how was your trip to Liyue? How's the old man doing? » Venti asked.
« Morax's fine. He's in retirement for now…» Moxxie casually replied.
« Wait, "Morax"? As in Rex Lapis, the Geo Archon of Liyue? » Anna asked surprised.
« …Oh crumbs…» Moxxie cursed.
« But wait! For you to know the Geo Archon you would have to be either an Adeptus or…» Anna turned towards Venti, opening her eyes in shock as she realized who Venti was. « L-lord Barbatos? »
« Oh, drat…well, cat's out of the bag, I suppose….» Venti casually shrugged. « None the less, welcome to the Imps squad, my dear! Could I recommend to not learn from Blitzo? He's a bit of a…how do I put it…a bit of a A-hole….»
« Y-yes, Lord Barbatos! » Anna replied nervously.
« No need for formalities. Just call me Venti. » Venti replied, before handing out a Vision. « And I'm sure the future looks bright for you. »
« Wow! You got a Vision sugar! » Millie exclaimed.
« It looks like you got a Dendro Vision….I can work with that. » Moxxie smirked.
« R-really? » Anna asked.
« Yup! Welcome to the team-» Moxxie was about to shake her hand, before a massive explosion occurred in Mondstadt, with countless fireworks in the air and the song "Overtune" playing on a loop.
« WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO! LET US CELEBRATE TODAY AS THE DAY THE PUSSY WAS WRECKED BY THE DEMON! » Blitzo shouted on a megaphone.
« FUCK YEAH! » Loona added.
At the sight of everything that was going on, Venti snapped. « 'Scuse me. I have to go say hi to an old friend. Won't be a minute. »
And with that, Venti walked off, reaching Mondstadt quite quickly. « Hey Blitzo! Long time no see! »
« Oh hey femboy-» Blitzo greeted him, before a punching noise could be heard, with the former letting out a yelp of pain.
« Yeah! Bet ya didn't expect to see me this angry before, did ya punk?!»
« My testicles! »
« YOU KEEP BLOWING UP MY FUCKING CITY, YOU BASTARD! »
« Loona! Chop his balls off before-» Blitzo called for Loona, before another yelp of pain could be heard.
« THIS IS FOR MOND! Choke on it! Choke on my vengeance! How does it taste?! » Venti shot back, before laughing maniacally as he kept on beating Blitzo up.
Awkward silence….
« You sure you still wanna be part of the team? » a worried Moxxie asked Anna.
« If I don't act like Blitzo or Loona, do I get to not be beaten up? » Anna asked.
« Yes. » Moxxie replied.
« …I'll just have to keep away from Blitzo….»
« Amen, kid. Amen. »
Xxxxxxx
Many thanks to Inanna for many of the suggestions for this chapter.
I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review so I can know your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions for what is going to happen, so stay tuned! Also, remember to like and follow, if you want!
See you to the next update!