The silence between them grew as Ghost continued to look at his hands. Gonzalo had left over thirty minutes ago, and the unease in the room settled fully.

"Dude, are you ok?" Roach asked quietly. "Memory still hazy?" Ghost stilled, gaze unfocused as he thought.

"...what happened while we were in there, Roach? I feel like...it was more than...how do I explain this…" Ghost looked up, Roach never seeing the man so confused before.

"Eugh...how...can I put this lightly…?" Roach paused. "While you were...not all there...he kind of...told you to do things…? And then you did them?"

"What do you mean, I did them?"

"You kinda just...stopped when he told you. At one point I thought you were more aware because the mad scientist dude was coming at you with more drugs and I could tell you were trying to get away. Then Gonzalo said to stay still and you just ...did." Roach pulled his knees up to his chest, curling around them. "And then he told you to stand, but since you were, like, strapped down you couldn't. And the next thing I know, I'm coming out of a pain trip and you were having a seizure."

"Christ…...you're sure he was-" Roach cut him off with furious nodding. Ghost let out a shaky exhale, hunching over as he stared at the ground. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he gathered his thoughts. "...I guess that solves that serum he was trying to figure out."

"Is that the same kind of stuff they used to give you guys?" Roach asked. Ghost didn't answer right away, face downtrodden with worry as his thoughts raced. "I mean, if it is…"

"It...probably is? If what you're saying is true then I guess I could see why Sparks liked it so much…" Roach nodded after a moment.

"Makes sense. When I tried to resist influence it kind of just...made it all worse. If complying makes it hurt less...and it felt like I was right at the edge of...if I went with it everything would be fine." Ghost shuddered next to him.

"Yeah...that's what it felt like." Ghost's words barely came out above a whisper. Faint recollections as Roach spoke flickered in and out, leaving behind the feelings that came with them.

"...he said the same thing you did before. About hitting a breaking point before you got there. You think psychological abuse and trauma has anything to do with it? Not trying to sound like a dick, but…" Roach trailed off. Ghost shook his head.

"Nah, it's fine to ask Roach, have to piece it together somehow. You had a good life with your family, nothing of note in your dossier that I remember, so that could be a difference between us. That, and you've never been captured before."

"So we don't talk about the time those guys were taking pot shots at me blindfolded?"

"Compared to what I've went through? No." Ghost gave a slight grin. Roach gave a half-hearted smile in return, before dropping his head onto his knees. "We'll be ok, Roach. You were right about the captain, so you can lord that over my head at least like the arse you are."

"Yeah, I guess. Recon before smash n' grab, right? I just still can't believe the general left us like this. I get it, we're two just soldiers but at least make an effort." Roach threw his arms up, head still down as he mumbled his next statement. "Fuck's sake he personally recruited us why not get back your hand-picked soldiers."

"Who knows." Ghost could recall with clarity when he was picked up by Shepherd personally after just finishing his mission to get his own revenge. But something Roach said earlier kept nagging at him. "Why did you ask about Makarov?" Roach perked up, slouching less as he lifted his head.

"It just...makes no sense! Why does Makarov know us, specifically? Fuckwit mentioned that Makarov was ok in letting us in particular get tested. That sounds more personal than one terrorist group versus an anti-terrorist group." Roach waved his arms as he continued. "And now he's saying there's someone on the inside supplying info?! Who though?!" He paused, looking at Ghost as he remembered Ghost's history. "I feel like this was an unwanted development for you."

"Yeah." Was Ghost's simple answer. His expression was unreadable as he stared ahead.

"...at least they know where we are now. MacTavish will get us." Roach shrugged awkwardly. "Eventually. Six weeks is a pretty long time for a mission so I doubt it'll take that long."

"Depends on the mission. Right before they recruited you, me n' 'Tavish were sent out for almost three months." Ghost let out a huff of air. "Three months of his annoying arse in the middle of the rainforest following a small terrorist cell."

"That bad?"

"Monsoon season mate. I had water shooting out of my gun instead of bullets by week two. I think we chased each other down in a circle before anything actually happened. By the time we were cleared to leave the AO it had been five weeks of absolute shite weather and nothing but trying not to drown." Ghost stood up, stretching his back before twisting his torso. "Then we had that month of non-stop missions where you fell into the river. And didn't you almost fall off a cliff?"

"Don't jinx me I haven't fallen off a cliff yet. I almost got landed on by an evac chopper though." Roach remembered the terrifying feeling of the landing skid brushing against his back when they were being extracted from a less than stellar mission.

Roach went to lay down, suddenly exhausted. An unknown feeling of unease settled in him and he wasn't sure the true cause. He could hear his heart beating faster, and as he sat, the unnatural heart beat lurching in his throat gave way to panic. Was this a side effect to the drugs? Why was it getting so hard to breathe? He couldn't breathe, his heart was beating way too fast and his sight was starting to tunnel. What was that whining sound? Was this all another side effect?

"-oach? Roach! Mate you gotta breathe through it! C'mon, deep breaths!" Roach watched, or think he watched, Ghost as he knelt down in front of him. He felt, or think he felt, Ghost place his hands on his shoulders to shake him gently. "Roach, talk to me mate, I can help you through it if you talk to me. For fuck's sake-!" Roach could only sit still in shock as Ghost stood up quickly, mouth moving with muffled words before a fist collided with the side of his head. He fell quickly, landing on his side and rolling onto his back to stare at his attacker. A kick to his side had him curled in pain before someone came up to him, syringe plunging into his neck. The quick way his body went slack gave Roach more shock as a pair of legs entered his vision. He could barely look up to see a similar syringe leave his vision before a sudden calm engulfed his senses. He was barely aware that he was picked up, vision swimming in and out of focus. He tried to look up just to see a bright light before it faded into black.

It's all like...weird exposition right now. I'm working on it, but I'm noticing a slip in my writing as I read over this. :/ Might have to go back and edit this later