A Floating Life
Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to SM.
A Proposal
"I don't know how much we should tell Renee about this." Charlie said, hesitating with one foot out of the door.
Bella nodded; she could only imagine how her mother would react. She would definitely freak out and ask a thousand questions, unwilling, unlike Charlie, to let it rest until she had some answers.
"The least mom knows the better. This stuff isn't for the fainthearted."
Charlie's lips quirked into a rueful smile. "I would have tried to protect you, too, if I'd known how. But I guess you've never fit into the faint-hearted category, have you?"
Bella smiled back, immensely relieved that her father was being so understanding. She knew that had lot to do with Charlotte. He was completely charmed with his new granddaughter.
"I guess we should discuss what you plan on doing next. I can come back tomorrow and we can talk about you possibly moving back home."
The hope in Charlie's brown eyes made Bella's throat tighten. She still hadn't made a firm decision yet. She really needed to sit down and have a heart to heart with Jacob first.
"Right." Bella promised him. "We'll definitely talk."
It had been a long day in some ways, and so short in others. Charlie was late for dinner – Sue Clearwater was cooking for him and Billy. That was sure to be an awkward evening. Unfortunately, Billy had been a bit hostile toward the burgeoning relationship between Charlie and Sue, probably out of some misplaced loyalty to Harry. It hadn't been that long since his passing. He had been very vocal about his feelings, causing tension among the friendship group.
Bella had a feeling this was the real reason why Billy had been feeling out of sorts lately, though she had kept this thought to herself. She wondered if there might be some jealousy involved, too. Things were changing, and she thought Billy might be feeling left behind, worried that a union between his one remaining best friend and Harry's widow would push him further into the background. This meal was Sue's attempt to bring them all together, to try and reassure Billy that this was not the case.
Bella was glad that Charlie would be eating real food, glad that there was someone around to keep him from starving or spending lonely evenings in the diner eating fatty foods due to his lack of cooking skills.
During the time they had spent together, Charlie's tension had slowly eased. As the time passed the stiff set of his shoulders had relaxed. He had been in no hurry to leave once he was settled. He'd watched two games-with Charlotte perched on his lap – he explained the finer points of football to her. Bella watched in amusement as her daughter became entranced with the figures moving across the screen, cleverly memorizing everything, which impressed Charlie as she helpfully replayed the highlights for him by touching his face with her hand.
"Wow, what a gift!" Charlie mused at the time, wearing a broad smile on his face. "You know, Charlotte, your mommy was never a fan, but maybe together we could convert her, huh? What do you think?"
Charlotte had clapped her hands in delight, bouncing a little on his lap. She was a little bundle of energy and had clearly enjoyed spending time with her grandpa just as much as he had with her. He probably would have stayed longer if Seth hadn't come into the room and reminded him of the time.
"You gonna stand Billy and my mom up, Charlie? C'mon. Bella and Charlotte will still be here tomorrow. Let's get some grub, eh? I'll catch a ride home with you."
Charlie was shocked to see Seth there. He was about to comment on it but decided he was better off not knowing. Before following Seth out he paid an emotional goodbye to Charlotte, reluctantly passing the little girl back to Bella.
"She's special, Bells. Just like you." His eyes were glimmering with moisture again, but for a different reason this time. "I'll see you both tomorrow and we'll have that talk."
Bella rested her head against his chest as he pulled both her and Charlotte in for another hug.
"I know it's supposed to be your birthday, Bells, but I feel like I'm the one whose been given a special gift."
His declaration brought tears to Bella's eyes. She hugged him a little harder, before finally letting go.
Charlie chewed on his lower lip for half a second. "Love you, Bells."
"I love you, too, Dad." Bella whispered back.
Charlie smiled wistfully as he touched one finger to Charlotte's pink cheek. "She sure looks a lot like you…and a lot like me, too." He laughed awkwardly. "With a bit of Jake mixed in there…those eyes of hers." His gaze turned bemused.
Bella kept her expression casual, though she felt anything but. "Yeah." She murmured.
Charlie's stomach growled.
Bella laughed. "Go and eat, Dad. I'll see you tomorrow."
Charlie nodded and then reluctantly backed away. He glanced past Bella into the house, his eyes were a little wild for a moment as he stared around the big bright room. Then he finally mumbled one last goodbye and took his leave, walking over to Seth, who was waiting patiently by the cruiser.
Bella was sitting on the sofa, dreamily combing her fingers through Charlotte's hair as she dozed, when Leah Clearwater made a sudden reappearance. The she-wolf strode boldly into the house, her eyes narrowing slightly as her gaze swept the near empty room. Bella was alone with Charlotte. The other Cullens were occupying the upper floors – apart from Alice and Jasper who went hunting when Charlie left- Emmet was with Rosalie, trying to pacify his mate as she fought to control her obsession with everything Charlotte. Esme was humming to herself, researching on her laptop as she searched for scrumptious recipes to scintillate Seth's tastebuds when he returned.
Bella sighed, thinking about the stunning blonde, knowing she was destined to have a very confronting conversation with her at some point. It was not going to be easy. However she phrased it, it was going to hurt Rosalie. Charlotte was more human and shifter than vampire. There was no way she could have prolonged contact with them. Maybe things would change as Charlotte aged, no one knew for sure. But right now, the little girl could only tolerate them if they kept a discreet distance.
As for Leah, Bella knew that the she-wolf was still openly hostile toward the Cullens, reserving most of the animosity for Rosalie, and maybe holding a little toward Bella herself. It wasn't like Leah had ever been her biggest fan. However, she and Jacob had developed a new camaraderie that kept her close, as well as her love and adoration for Charlotte. The responsibility and care she felt toward the precious little girl made Leah feel the need to check in often.
"She sleeping?" Leah asked, keeping her voice low as she took a few cautious steps in Bella's direction.
"Spending time with my dad really tuckered her out." Bella whispered, smiling wistfully at the memory of the unexpected reunion with her father.
"Yeah, it was a surprise that he stopped by." Leah said, taking another step closer. She peered down at Charlotte's sleeping face and her expression softened. "He fell in love with her, too, huh?"
"How could he not?" Bella answered, taking in the maternal light shining in Leah's eyes. "Do you want to hold her?" She offered.
"You'd let me? I thought – "Leah didn't finish her sentence, but held out her arms eagerly.
Bella stood up, careful not to jostle Charlotte, and passed her to Leah, who expertly cradled her against her side, Charlotte's cheek resting on her shoulder. Leah began to sway a little, humming the Quileute lullaby that Charlotte loved.
It was such a picture-perfect scene. So enchanting. Leah would make a loving mother, if only she would allow herself to let go of her doubts and believe that the possibility could be real, Bella thought. Jacob had shared a little of Leah's troubles with her, the most overriding one, Leah's despair over her declining fertility. She had convinced herself that she would never carry a child, having stopped menstruating when she turned wolf. Bella didn't believe this was true. How often throughout her life had she skipped periods? Especially in times of high stress. She was certain that once Leah decided to stop phasing for good, her bodily functions, which were on pause, would resume like normal.
"You are so good with her." She whispered to Leah. "She loves you a lot, you know."
Leah stopped humming and glanced up at Bella, her gaze perplexed. "Why are you always so damn cordial to me? I never am to you."
"I'm not being cordial. I'm just stating a fact. Charlotte adores you. And I will be forever grateful for the way you stepped in and took care of her when I couldn't. I will owe you forever for that alone."
Leah couldn't argue with the sincerity in Bella's tone. "I didn't do it for you." She said quietly. "It was all for her." She fixed her gaze back on Charlotte's peaceful face and began humming again.
"I know how much you despise me, Leah." Bella answered wearily. "That still doesn't stop me feeling grateful and it's good to have you around."
Leah paused in her humming, throwing an irritated glare in Bella's direction. "You don't give up, do you? And for your information I don't despise you. I don't particularly like you, but not for the reasons that you think."
"Then why?" Bella probed. This was the most honest conversation she'd ever had with Leah, and she didn't want to lose the chance to find out what was going on inside the other girl's head.
Leah sighed heavily, adjusting Charlotte in her arms slightly. "I dislike you, because despite the selfish way you've behaved, you still got everything you ever wanted. I'm not saying you've had it easy; I know you've suffered both physically and emotionally, but you've always had people fighting your corner. I hated the way you tortured Jacob, the way you used him, keeping him emotionally off balance by constantly toying with his heart. It made me sick. But he's stubborn, and incredibly loyal, he wouldn't give up the fight to win you, even if meant dying in the process. And I suppose that's another reason why I dislike you because Sam never did that for me. He didn't even try to fight."
Bella swallowed thickly, hearing the underlying pain in Leah's voice. "You can't compare the two. Jacob imprinted on me but never told me. It was that undeniable pull that kept him close to me when he probably would have walked away if he had the choice. Not that I would have blamed him."
Leah shot Bella another glare. "Bullshit." She hissed quietly so as not to disturb Charlotte. "That boy was in love with you long before he turned wolf and you know it. He would never have walked away – imprint or no imprint. Dammit, you are insufferable."
In the past Bella would have recoiled at Leah's verbal attack, but she was getting sick and tired of being punished for things that were out of her control. It wasn't all her fault. The others around her made their choices, just like she did hers. Why were they not held to the same account?
"We've both had our hearts broken. I got depressed and you got angry. The only difference is I overcame my depression." Bella argued.
"Because of Jake." Leah countered.
"No because of me." Bella bit back. "I could only wallow for so long. But you – you refuse to let go of your anger and bitterness. Instead punishing everyone around you, wanting to make them as miserable as you are."
"Don't you dare – "
"Shut up and listen for once." Bella cut her off. "You think I've had an easy life? Well, you're wrong. You had a happy, stable homelife. You have a brother who worships the ground you walk on. I'm an only child of divorced parents – one I only got to see a couple of times a year – the other so like a child herself, I had to take on the role of parent. I had no Seth to back me up. I was all alone. So, when I moved back to Forks to live with Charlie, who was practically a stranger to me then, and met the Cullens, is it any wonder I fell for Edward's overprotective ass right away? Here was someone willing to take control and care for me. I mistakenly took his overprotectiveness for love, thinking this was what I had always craved, to be part of a loving family, to have someone want me so much they were willing to risk it all to be with me. So, yes, I ignored all the red flags - I let myself become isolated from my friends, from Charlie, from everyone who cared about me. I wouldn't listen when Billy tried to warn me about the trap I was falling into. And, yes, I hurt a lot of people along the way, including Jacob, but you know what, Leah Clearwater? I would do it again. Because all the pain and suffering was worth it because she exists."
Bella ended her breathless rant, her eyes wide, her chest rising and falling with the strain of articulating her thoughts. She had kept her voice at a low pitch throughout, but still her throat muscles felt sore and tight. She swallowed to loosen them, wishing she had a glass of chilled water to hand.
Leah stared at Bella as if she had never seen her before. Despite her tense posture, she cradled Charlotte like she was made from fine porcelain. "Wow, that was some speech." She said eventually. "I almost felt sympathy for you."
The she-wolf's tone was light, and didn't hold the usual sarcasm. Bella relaxed, feeling like she had made some sort of breakthrough with the other girl. "We're on the same side, Leah. We may never be friends, but we both love Charlotte. Can't that be enough?"
Leah's eyes rested on Charlotte's face, her expression soft and inviting instead of harsh. It was her lips that give away her intention, not quite smiling but tilting as if they meant to. "I guess I can live with that, Swan." She conceded.
"Truce then?" Bella held out her hand.
"Truce." Leah agreed, balancing Charlotte expertly in one arm as she grasped Bella's proffered hand in a tight, warm grip.
A shadow fell across the girls as Jacob chose that moment to step inside the house. He had overheard everything, but had chosen to remain out of the way while the two girls battled it out. He had faith that Bella felt emboldened enough these days to hold her own, even against Leah.
Leah rolled her eyes when she saw him. "Took your time, Jacob." She muttered. She glanced sideways at Bella. "Oh, I forgot to tell you why I came here in the first place, Swan. Jacob wanted me to tell you that he was on his way back."
"Gee, thanks for letting me know, Clearwater." Bella retorted sardonically.
"You're welcome." Leah snickered. "Why don't I keep an eye on this little beauty while you two have a little chat? It's past time for her next meal anyway."
"Subtle, Leah. Very subtle." Jacob quipped as he moved further into the room, his gaze trained on Bella's pensive face.
Leah ignored him as she began to hum the Quileute lullaby to Charlotte again. She paced silently out of the room, heading toward the Cullens shiny new kitchen that had gotten more use in the last few weeks then it had since it was first built.
"I heard you had a visitor." Jacob said when he was certain Leah and Charlotte were out of earshot.
"Yeah." Bella replied faintly. "Charlie came to wish me a happy birthday. I'm nineteen today, Jake. And I totally forgot."
"I didn't." Jacob said huskily. He moved closer, never taking his eyes from hers. "There was another reason I wanted to go home besides checking in on my old man. I wanted to get this." He extended his right arm toward Bella, palm upward. With his eyes still glued to hers, he opened his fingers to reveal a ring box, encased in black velvet.
Bella's hands flew to her mouth as she stared back at him in disbelief.
"This is me declaring myself." Jacob declared boldly. "I know you're not officially free yet, but I didn't want to waste anymore time, not when we've wasted so much time already. Happy birthday, Bells. Will you marry me…please?"
A/N-thanks for reading!