Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romanica. All credit goes to the writer/creators of the show/Manga.

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Chapter Five

….

"Misaki! You're needed in conference room nine," Isaka said upon his return. He'd just gotten back from lunch and was already running a little behind schedule.

"Oh?" He replied confused. He hadn't remembered needing to be at a meeting today.

"Yeah, Izumi Imari is working on some new thing and since you're her new editor, they need you in on it."

Misaki nodded as he grabbed his things. He wondered what it was about. Izumi hadn't said anything to him about starting a new series. She'd just finished her last one. Not that it mattered really. It was his job, but today he felt heavy and the idea of being in a meeting made his head spin a little.

That damn nightmare. It seemed to be happening more and more often and it was freaking him out. He was late to work twice this week because he had to take time to pull his shit back together before coming in. It was ridiculous. How silly he must look, shaking like a leaf because of a nightmare.

Misaki opened the door and the moment he did Izumi threw her arms around him. "Takahashi! I'm so glad you are finally here!" Her actions were no surprise she was a really handsy kind of person.

"Hey, Izumi." Misaki looked up to see Aikawa and Usagi. Cue more confusion.

"I've been reading Mr. Usami's newest romance series and I was just telling him I want to desperately turn it into a manga! I've fallen in love with the characters and the world!" She turned to Usagi, a huge grin on her face. Your work is simply marvelous!

"This series really is something, isn't it!" Aikawa squealed with her."

"Anywho!" Izumi said pulling a large sketchbook from her bag. "These are samples of my work. You can of course read through my mangas. The series I just finished is by far my favorite. Also, nothing will be published without your approval! I want you to be involved in everything. And of course, you will get some of the royalties! I just really want to make your world a reality!"

She glanced over at Misaki. " Takahashi, I've seen you read the series. Wouldn't it be awesome to have it drawn out?"

Misaki smiled. She sure did have a lot of energy. "Yeah, it would be pretty cool, but you must give Usagi time to think it through."

"Usagi?" She said surprised. "Wait, you two know each other?"

"They sure do! They used to be roommates" Aikawa replied with a wink.

Okay, that was information he would have liked to keep to himself, and what was with the wink? He looked at Izumi who looked to be bursting with questions. "We are getting off track," Misaki said, rubbing his temples. He was exhausted.

"I'll do it," Usami said, making Izumi gasp in excitement.

"Omg! You are awesome!" She said as she hugged Usami quickly. "I'll get started on sketching the characters tonight! Takahashi, you will bring them to Mr. Usagi for approval, yes?"

"That's my job," he replied as she hurried out of the room. Aikawa followed after her, talking about contracts needing to be drawn up.

"That artist must be a handful," Usagi said as he crossed his arms.

"She's excitable all right and she can talk your ear off. Although she's always on the ball. Never misses a deadline."

"I look forward to working with you, Misaki." Usagi put his hand on Misaki's head as he passed him. "Gives me a reason to see you."

Misaki's heart flipped in his chest. He should have realized that they would see a lot of each other due to this. "Yeah, I look forward to working with you too," he replied weakly. He was kinda happy to have a reason to be around him, even if he wouldn't say it out loud, but he was also unsure about having to see him regularly. Could he survive it?

A few days later Misaki had found Usagi waiting outside his apartment. He looked so out of place there. Him in his fancy suit and that air of elegance he naturally put off. He didn't belong in a place like this.

"Usagi? What are you doing here?" Misaki asked, stopping a few feet away from him.

"You said Izumi's sketches were ready. I was in the area, so instead of you having to wake up early and come to my place, I figured I'd stop here." Okay, that was only an excuse, but it worked.

"How do you even know where I live?"

"I know everything," Usagi replies with confidence.

Misaki sighed. "Isaka told you, didn't he?"

Usagi shrugged. "You going to let me in?"

Misaki tried to come up with a good reason not to let him in, but couldn't seem to think of one. He was way too tired for it. So with resignation, he unlocked the door, allowing entry.

"It's not much to look at," Misaki said with embarrassment. He could feel the blush hit his cheeks and hated it.

Usagi took it all in. It was small but clean. "Nothing wrong with having a small place. Could use some personal touches though."

As Usagi wondered around, Misaki put his bag on the table and pulled out the sketches. He'd already looked at them and thought she did an amazing job on them, but Usagi needed to approve them before they went any further.

"You have all my books," Usagi said, surprise in his voice.

Misaki looked at him, blush annoyingly warming his cheeks again. "Yes." He had to clear his throat to continue. "Here are the sketches."

Usagi stared at the books a moment longer before walking over to him. He spent a good amount of time studying each sketch. The girl did have talent, and while not each of them matched what he imagined in his head perfectly, they were all pretty damn close.

"What do you think?" He asked, pulling out a cigarette and popping it between his lips.

"I think," Misaki started saying, pulling the cigarette out of Usagi's mouth. "That she did a great job. They are all really close to how I imagined them to look. She really spent time on the details." He paused a moment as he gave Usagi the cigarette. "Sorry, we aren't allowed to smoke in here."

Usagi smiled. He couldn't help but too. "You're such a good boy."

"Shut up," Misaki replied, shaking his head. "Anyway, do you approve?"

"Yes. These are great."

Misaki nodded, putting the sketches away and sending a text to Izumi. He stood now, awkwardly. "I'd offer you food or something, but I don't have any."

Usagi looked at him, unimpressed. "Why don't you have food?"

"Well…I mean, I have corner store food," he replied, pointing to the food he'd brought in. "I don't imagine it's something you'd want."

"Do you not have money for food?" The thought that Misaki wasn't eating angered him some.

"I just don't buy it because I'm busy. It easier just to pick food up." Please don't look at me like that! My heart can't take it! He thought, looking away.

"You know if you need anything, you can come to me, right?"

Misaki looked at him. "I don't want too."

Okay, that hurt, Usagi thought to himself. "Misaki…"

"You just don't get it, do you?" He closed his eyes with embarrassment. "Being around you when I can't be with you, it hurts me."

"Then why did you walk out so easily? Why didn't you fight to stay?"

"I don't want to do this. Please go."

Usagi grabbed him, pushing him against the wall. His mouth was inches from Misaki's, but he couldn't kiss him. Because the truth was, if he started, he wouldn't be able to stop. It didn't help that Misaki's words played in his ear. Being this close to him made him confused.

Instead, he put his forehead to Misaki's. He wanted him so bad. Not just sexually, though the idea of having Misaki under his was crazy alluring. It took every inch of self-control not to kiss him. To touch him. To beg him to come home.

"I'm sorry," Usagi said, moving. "I will try to respect your boundaries."

Misaki licked his dry lips. He could still feel Usagi's warm breath on his face. The smell of soap and cigarettes tangled in his nose making him want to cry. He hated that Usagi made him feel like maybe he won't fall apart.

"I should go," Usagi said, but didn't move. He looked once more at the bookshelf.

Don't go. That's what Misaki wanted to say. I don't want to be alone. He was so alone. He felt himself slipping. Like he was fighting his way up a steep incline and he was slipping and running out of energy.

"Misaki, please. If you need anything. Anything at all." He looked so unhappy. So lost. His eyes held no life and that scared the hell out of him. What was Misaki feeling? How could he help him?

Misaki nodded, unable to speak.

"Okay. See you."

Misaki held his breath until Usagi was gone. Damn, this was going to be a rough assignment having to work closely with Usagi. But he would do it. It was his job.

Usagi waited, feeling a little nervous which was odd because he wasn't even here for himself. He was lucky enough to have a psychiatrist as a friend and she agreed to answer some questions for him. He was worried about Misaki, and he wanted to know how he could help.

"Usami?" the receptionist called. "She can see you now."

He stood, thanked her, and walked back. "Aria, how are you?"

"I'm great, she said, putting her hand on her belly. "Ready for this little guy to get out of me." she laughed as she waved him to sit. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Busy as always." Jeez even when it wasn't about him this made him uneasy. He hated people who analyze you mentally.

"I was surprised you called. Then less surprised when you said you have questions about a situation that wasn't yours. Care to elaborate?"

"A friend of mine. No, really, a friend of mine," he added because she raised an eyebrow. "He was raped." Man, that was hard to say out loud. It made his blood boil. "He's struggling with it and I don't know how to help him. He has nightmares and there are times when his eyes seem so empty and distant that it scares me."

Aria nodded as she stood. "Anything to drink?" she asked going to the mini-fridge and pulled out chocolate milk for herself.

"No thank you."

She thought it over as she sat, opened the drink. Just getting her thoughts into order. "Men don't usually come to me with this sort of problem. The sad fact is, it happens to men too, and they want to talk about it even less then women do. However, I think it's safe to say he's feeling similar to how a woman feels. Rape is…a loss of control. The victim is often left feeling confused, afraid, used, angry, guilty."

Usami's brow furrowed "Guilty?"

"Yes. They often end up blaming themselves. If I hadn't worn this dress or taken that shortcut. If I hadn't come on too strong or went to that friend's house instead. How can I let this happen to me? Why didn't I fight or fight harder? Then to take it a step further, many victims feel sickened because their bodies did what they are biologically designed to do. They can't understand how they managed to get wet, or in his case possibly got hard when they didn't want it. It's not uncommon for an orgasm to take place, and that just makes the whole thing worse. They didn't want it, and yet… But that's what our bodies are designed to do, and even if orgasm does happen, that doesn't mean you liked it. It doesn't mean you wanted it. It means your body works the way it was intended."

"How do I help him? If he's dealing with all that?" He felt sick. He wanted to go to Misaki right now and hold him close and tell him that what happened to him wasn't his fault.

"All you can do is be there. Make sure he knows he's not alone. Does he talk about it?"

Usagi shook his head. "Once when he told me what happened, but nothing since and he wouldn't let me help him. He pushes me away."

"Victims do. They feel like this is their own problem. They often want to push it down and away. They don't want people to know about it because of shame. This is why I feel it needs to be talked about more. We have to make it so being raped isn't any more shameful then catching a cold. Once women feel they can talk about it, more of them will seek the help they need. And men," she added.

She paused a moment, drinking and watching him. She was curious about his relationship with the man he's talking about. She was well aware of his sexual preferences. This man looked to mean a great deal to him. "I wish I can be of more help. The truth is, you can't help until he wants it. He needs therapy. Any rape victim does. But you can't force him to do it and you can't make him confide in you. Again, all you can do is be there for him. Try to get across to him that you will be there when he's ready to let you in."

"I don't know that he will ever be ready for that. I messed up, Aria. My family…" He felt a little sick as he took a deep breath. "He was young. I wanted to protect him."

"From what?"

Usami stood, shaking his head. "Thank you for talking with me. I feel like maybe I understand him just a little better."

She stood, too. "You're very welcome. My door is always open. Please, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me." She wished he would call, but she knew he wouldn't. He was too afraid to talk about his past, and she didn't think he realized how much it impacted him now.

"Yeah, sure," he replied before getting the hell out of there. Once outside, he lit a cigarette and puffed it deeply. He hated Psychiatrists.

"I don't understand," Misaki said as he sat. "Who would pay my rent for an entire year?" Usagi's image popped in his head, and annoyance filled him. "Actually, on second thought, I know the answer." He said his goodbyes before hanging up.

He wasted no time going to Usagi's. He was going to give him an ear full about putting his nose into people's business. Bonus? He didn't even have to knock because Aikawa was letting herself in as he arrived.

"You have business this morning as well?"

"You can say that." He followed her in, and up the stairs. Of course, he would still be sleep. He stepped into Usagi's room after her, but when she flipped on the light, he'd wished he'd waited downstairs.

His heart broke at the sight of the man in bed with Usagi. To make matters worse, they were in the middle of…it!

"Usami! You have a deadline young man!" Aikawa said, paying no mind to the situation before her.

Misaki backed out of the room as quickly as he could. He knew Usagi said his name, but he ignored it. He wanted to flee. To get the hell out of there, but he had business with Usagi. Both personal and professional. So he just sat at the table, talking himself out of letting any emotion show in his face.

"Usami!" Aikawa said as she followed him downstairs.

"Misaki, I'm sorry."

He'd meant to too. Misaki could hear that clear as day in his voice. That didn't make him feel better. "That's none of my business. Izumi has finished the first draft and needs you to look it over." He said as he stood, pulling the draft out of his bag.

"Well that was awkward," a man Misaki didn't know said as he joined them. "I hadn't expected an audience."

Aikawa waved her hand. "Don't mind us. We will be out of your hair soon enough."

"No matter," the man said. "I have to work, so I'll be on my way."

"Also," Misaki said, pretending that he was fine. Yep, tots cool with this. "I don't need your money."

"My money?"

"I know you paid my rent off for a year. First of all, I didn't ask you to do that. Second, what if I didn't plan on staying there? You have no right to meddle in my business."

"Misaki, I swear I didn't pay your rent. Trust me, if I was going to pay your rent, I'd move you into a bigger place first."

"Who the hell else would…" Oh no. It had been him! He had thought he'd saw Usagi's brother drive past that one time. The car even slowed some. Had he done it? God, he hoped not because that was something he didn't need!

"What? Who did you think of?"

"No one. Read that through and get back to me." Misaki tried to make his escape, but Usagi caught his arm.

"My brother? Have you run into him again?"

"Maybe," he said, jerking his arm free.

"Stay away from him." He said cooly.

"I don't have to if I don't want to." He replied before leaving.

Usagi's hurt expression haunted him all the way to Marukawa books. Why on earth did he say that? He had no intention of getting anywhere close to brother Usagi. He had only said it to put distance between them. He regretted it. Even though he was hurting form seeing Usagi with someone else. Shit, he was jealous as hell. Still, he didn't want to hurt him.

Misaki felt nervous as he knocked on his brother's door. It had been about two months since The whole wedding mess, and he'd hadn't talked to Takahiro since that morning at Usagi's.

"Hey," Manami said, opening the door and stepping aside. She looked a little frazzled, but her smile was as welcoming as always.

"Uncle Misaki!" Mahiro said as he hugged him.

"Hey, you. Look how big you've gotten!" Misaki replied.

"Takahiro is at the table. Thank you for coming." She took Mahiro's hand and led him into the living room.

Misaki went to the kitchen and saw Takahiro waiting. When his brother turned and gave him an unsure smile, he felt uneasy. When had things become like this? What on earth was happening?

"Hey. Come sit." Takahiro said as he stood. "Want something to drink?"

"No, I'm good. Thank you."

Takahiro sat back down. "I'm sorry. I said horrible things and this isn't sitting well with me. I'm not going to disown you. I told that to Manami and she's agreed. I shouldn't have told you I would. I didn't mean it."

"I didn't mean to cause trouble for you either." Misaki sighed. "I just couldn't make her marry me. I couldn't."

"I know. You're a good person. It's just who you are."

"Will Manami's family disowns her?"

"She said she really thinks it's an empty threat, but even if it's not, she can't allow me to disown you. She knows it will hurt me. And you. Besides, Usagi might murder me if I do. He cares for you. I'm glad my best friend has my little brothers back. Even when I don't."

Misaki said nothing about that because there was nothing to say. Usagi was always overstepping. They weren't together anymore!

"Anyway. He's next on my list to apologize too. I heard you guys are working together?"

"Yeah. One of my authors is turning his latest series into a manga. I didn't know things like that were even done, but."

"Wow. That's cool. "

"If you could consider working with Usagi cool. The man is a major pain in the ass."

Takahiro laughed deeply. "Yes. I do recall hating to team up with him for school projects. So with that in mind, good luck."

Misaki was super annoyed. It had been two weeks since he realized brother Usagi probably was the one who paid his rent and every day since he'd wake up and find some kind of care package outside. The first week he brought them in. The second week he'd left them outside to see if it would make him stop, but apparently not. Then the landlord called him and asked him to get rid of the stuff. So he threw them away.

This morning he woke to find a note with keys. Apparently brother Usagi has deemed his apartment unlivable and has given him a new one. Yeah. Like he'd actually move into it.

"You okay? Ritsu asked. "You're looking a little rough.

"I'm peachy," Misaki replied. He sighed because it comes out bitchy. "Sorry. I'm just a little exasperated."

Masamune walked in, and Ritsue smiled at him gently. Not for the first time, Misaki wondered if the two were going out. There was an unspoken tenderness there.

"So, you want to talk about it? Ritsu asked. "We can do lunch together."

"I wouldn't mind having lunch with you, but my problem isn't something I'm interested in share. It far too complicated really."

"Well, my offer stands,"

They did go to lunch together. Ritsu really was a nice guy and they had more in common then he would have thought.

After eating, they were heading out of the restaurant, and Misaki nearly retreated when he saw brother Usagi. He probably would have if the man hadn't spotted him. Was he stalking him now?

"You okay?" Ritsu asked.

"Yeah. Hey, I'll meet you back at work."

"Yeah, sure. See you."

Misaki approached brother Usagi. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw you were in the area. How are you?"

"Listen, I think it's nice what you are trying to do, but I don't need you to be nice to me. I can take care of my own rent and I can buy my own stuff."

"But I can provide you with better. I know you won't live in the mansion with me, but surely the apartment is far superior to the one you live in."

"I wouldn't know. I haven't seen it. You're missing the point…"

"You are no longer with Akihiko, correct?"

"I…" wow it was still hard to admit he'd had a relationship with him. Even now. "No, we aren't." Saying that out loud hurt.

"Then I have a chance. Let me take you to dinner."

Was this guy dense or something? "I don't think so." Misaki was growing more irritated.

"You could love me to you know. If you just tried."

Misaki took a deep breath. "I don't want to try. Now please, leave me alone."

"I'll tell my father that you and Akihiko are together." As he suspected, that had Misaki stopping.

"It's not true…"

"Yes, but if he were to have you followed and see that you two are spending lots of time together, it would look suspicious."

"I'll explain that it's not what it looks like." His heart pounded in his chest. Would he do that? Truly?

"And who do you think my father will believe? Hmm?"

His blood ran cold. He had him cornered. "What do I have to do to keep you from doing that?"

Haruhiko smiled. "For starters, you can agree to dinner tonight."

Dinner was uncomfortable. Not only was Misaki tired, but he also didn't like how he felt sitting across from Brother Usagi. The man's eyes made him feel uneasy. Like he would devour him at any given moment.

"How was work?" Haruhiko asked as he sipped his wine.

"Fine," Misaki replied. He looked down at the food in front of him. He was hungry, but his uneasy made him a little nauseous.

Haruhiko chuckled. "You're like a child who's been asked how school was. Did anything interesting happen?"

Misaki made himself busy with eating. He knew his silence wasn't going to satisfy brother Usagi. That didn't make talking any easier. "Just another day really. Thinks are a little hectic due to deadlines."

"Ah. Yes. I imagine it can get a little crazy. Work for me had been hectic as well, but I'm used to it. Give it time, you'll be used to it too."

"Yeah, maybe."

"When are you going to move into the apartment I gave you? It's fully furnished, so you needn't worry about that. I would love to visit once you move in."

"I'm not moving into the apartment, Brother Usagi."

"Please, call me Haruhiko, and why not?"

"Because I have a place to live in. Maybe it's too small for you, but I like it." Also, he didn't want handouts. He worked hard for the things he got. Even when Usagi used to give him everything, he made up for it by cleaning, cooking, and whatever else he could do. He didn't want people thinking he needed taking care of.

"If you like living there, why do you often look so sad?" Misaki had grown since the last time they'd spoken like this, but his eyes were dull too. It worried him.

"I'm not sad. I'm tired because someone is blackmailing me into dinner."

"Yes well." Haruhiko shrugged. "So then we should get down to business. I truly believe you could love me, and unlike Akihiko, I won't let outside influences impact our relationship. So, date me, for five months, and if you haven't fallen in love with me, then I'll give up.

His nostrils flared as anger settled. "You've got to be joking?"

"Not at all. I take you very seriously."

Misaki was sick. He hated that his eyes started to burn. What the hell was he to do? He didn't want Haruhiko to tell his father that he and Usagi were together, but he didn't want to date him either. Shit. Why? Why was this happening to him?

"Oh, and you can't tell Usagi about this either. He will just complicate things."

Misaki stood. He felt like he might jump out of his skin. "Fine. We can date, but after five months is up, you leave me the hell alone, indefinitely."

"Assuming you haven't fallen madly in love with me? Deal."

Misaki walked away then. He was so confused and upset. Hasn't the universe taken enough from him? Put him through enough? Hasn't he met his quota of bad shit happening to him in his lifetime?

He gasped from surprise when he was grabbed from behind, and Haruhiko pulled him close, placing a kiss on his neck. As Haruhiko held him, he panicked. He felt his blood run cold and wished the man would let him go. "Let go," he said, pulling away.

"Did I frighten you?" Haruhiko asked with a smile. "You're so cute. Come on, I'll take you home."

Misaki watched him with questioning eyes. "To my apartment?"

He laughed. "Fine, I promise I will take you to that pea-sized apartment."

The drive there was silent, and when Misaki got out of the car, he took his first full breath. He was unraveling and wanted desperately to shower and curl up in bed.

Haruhiko followed him to his door, and once there, pulled him close. Misaki stood there, unmoving as the man did so. "When can we see each other again?"

"Um," Misaki was unsure. He never wanted to see him again. "I have Thursday off."

"Great, I'll pick you up." he moved, kissing Misaki.

Misaki was too stunned to do anything. He was paralyzed with uncertainty. He didn't want to have sex with Haruhiko. What if that was what he was after right now?

"Goodnight," he said as he pulled away.

Misaki closed his eyes. Watching him walk away was the best thing that happened to him all night. With shaky hands, Misaki opened his door. Sleep. He needed sleep.

Misaki considered himself a reasonable person. Maybe he could be a bit dense. Sometimes a little slow on the uptake. But this? He didn't think his anger was out of line. What the hell was that man thinking?

Imagine his shock when his landlord called an said he was sorry to see him go, but he needed to have his things out by Monday because the apartment already has been leased to someone new.

He had asked the landlord what he was talking about and he said that he'd called to say he was breaking the lease and paid the fine.

What. The. Hell. That was taking it way to far to force him to do what he wanted him to do. He was pissed and now homeless. He couldn't afford the down payment on a lease just now.

So he was fuming after the call and to make things worse, he had to deal with Usagi today. Great. That's what he wanted just now.

"I'm just not sure about this setting. Is this what you were thinking? Izumi asked. "I also drew up these as well."

Usagi looked them over as Misaki paced the room. He glanced at his watch. He had a meeting with another author at four. After that, well, who the hell knew!

He could stay at his brothers for a bit maybe. They did have an extra room. He'd only be there a short while. Once he found a place he could afford.

"Misaki?"

Misaki looked over at them. "Huh?"

Izumi giggled. "Your mind is far away."

"You look worried." Usagi started.

Thanks, it's the worrying, he thought to himself. "I'm fine." He wasn't really. Haruhiko was stressing him out and the nightmares.

"We think we like this setting best, he wants to know what you think," Izumi said showing it to him.

"Yeah, that's fine. I will let the two of you finish here. I have a meeting I can't miss."

"Misaki, if you need anything."

"Yeah yeah," Misaki replied in his way out.

Well, he didn't see that coming. He'd gone to his brother asking for a place to crash. They offered the couch because, surprise, she's pregnant and they'd already turned the guest room into a nursery. They had planned on telling him at their scheduled dinner the following night, but since he was here.

He didn't want to intrude, so he ended up at Ritsu's place for the night. After that, he'd stayed the night at the office, though he doubted he'd be able to do that long.

There was nothing he could afford either. Most low rent places were currently filled. The ones that weren't were way too far to commute to.

A week later, he was sleep-deprived and still homeless. To make things worse, he had actually started to consider going to the apartment brother Usagi was paying for.

It just felt like if he did that, then it would give Haruhiko the idea that he had some kind of chance and he didn't want to do that. He couldn't do that.

All this extra stress was starting to take its toll. He felt adrift with nothing to anchor him. His apartment might not have been much, but it was his and he'd had a place to call his own.

He felt like he was going to cry, so he made himself shift his thoughts. No way was he going to cry in front of his coworkers. No way. Keep your shit together, he told himself. You can keep your cool a little longer.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Haruhiko said as he read the document.

Misaki had been forced into spending the night here, and he was currently in the family room waiting for Haruhiko to allow him to leave for the night. In the meantime, he bitched about having no place to stay and what a shitty thing Haruhiko did by breaking his lease.

"You can always stay here if you'd prefer."

Misaki rolled his eyes. "You're missing the point. I liked my place, and you overstepped."

Haruhiko put down work and joined Misaki on the couch. He pulled him close, burying his nose in his hair. "Aren't you enjoying our time together? Even a little?"

"No," He didn't have the energy to lie. It wasn't like he didn't know anyway.

"That's mean." Haruhiko kissed Misaki on the lips. This had started about a week ago.

Misaki sat still like he always did when Haruhiko kissed him. Just five months. That's all and it would be all over with.

"Misaki, let me make love to you."

Misaki moved now, going all the way to the door of the room. "No. That's where I draw the line. No." He hated that he shook. Fear that Haruhiko would force him made his head spin and he swore he could smell piss and beer. Oh god, please no.

"Easy, Misaki. I won't force myself on you. Not like that." What was this response?

"I want to go home," Misaki replied. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to pretend to be okay. He wanted to go home.

Hruhiko thought it over. He didn't want Misaki to leave. He really enjoyed his company, but when he looked the way he looked now, he couldn't refuse the request. "Let me take you."

"No thanks," Misaki replied and bolted out the door, in his pj's and without shoes. To make matters more inconvenient, it was raining, and he didn't have a home currently.

He ran until he couldn't run anymore. He stopped, leaning over, and breathing heavily. Unable to stand any longer, he fell to his knees feeling as if his lungs were going to explode. He was fighting sickness and his head felt like it was swimming. He'd been afraid. So afraid.

Why? Why did it happen to him? Why couldn't he let it go? It haunted him, affected every aspect of his life. He pretended to be strong. He put a smile on his face, laughed when he was supposed to. He did what he had to do, and it hurt. Every forced smile and fake laugh hurt because people believed him. Because people had no idea that while he was laughing, he was dying inside.

…..

I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks :D