Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romanica. All credit goes to the writer/creators of the show/Manga.

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Chapter Eight

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You know how in movies, something tragic happens? There's this montage of moments, with sad music in the background. Each scene depicts a moment of importance. Like the cars colliding. Then the ambulance shows. Then it shows someone crying and falling to the ground. Each moment painful and out for the world to see.

That's kind of how this felt. Usami dived in after him, adrenaline driving him forward. For god only knows how long, Usagi searched the water for him, and for a moment, he didn't think he'd find him, but luck was on his side. He'd found him and somehow managed to get them both out of the water.

"Misaki!" Usami cried as he tried to wake him. He started CPR, though really it was all in theory. He'd never taken lessons or anything. He couldn't even call for help because the water damaged his phone. Shit! No, He can't die!

"Please. Please. please." He felt the panic try to take hold, clouding his mind. He Cant die! He can't die!

To his astonishment, an ambulance arrived, taking over. He set back, his mind doing the flash thing as he thought over the last ten minutes. Misaki jumping from that cliff. Him following down. Getting both of them to the surface and fear numbing him as he carried a limp Misaki out of the water. Trying to revive him.

He felt disconnected to himself as they fought to bring Misaki back. Although dark, he saw them eyeing each other as if to say Misaki was a goner. "Please safe him!" He begged. "Please."

"We will do everything we can," One of them said.

After an agonizing two minutes that felt more like two hours, Misaki coughed up water and took a breath.

Usami let out the breath he'd been holding. Relief spread through him making him nearly breathless. He went to Misaki, taking his face in his hands. "I'm here," he said to a confused Misaki.

"Sir."

"Just a moment." He looked back to Misaki who's eyes finally focused on him.

"Usagi? Am I in heaven?"

"No silly, man. You're alive, and I'm here. You hear me? I'm here."

After that, they insisted on getting him to the hospital. Usami couldn't really argue that.

He's alive. Oh, thank god he's alive.

Takahiro saw Misaki Jump. He heard Usagi's cries and watched as his best friend went in after his baby brother.

Usagi had called him on the way here to tell him his phone was tracked to this park and he was going to look for him. Knowing how large the park was, he decided to follow, and help.

Without hesitation, he called the cops to report the incident. He had to trust Usagi would find him and it was up to him for help to arrive.

By the time he got down to where the two would come out, they were all gone. He called the hospitals until he found the one Misaki would be taken to, the drive to it like he was filming a fast and furious film.

He ran in, feeling like it was taking too long. Way too long to find where Misaki ended up. Finally, he saw Usagi, sitting in a chair, his face in his hands.

Takahiro's heart dropped. Oh god. Please let Misaki be okay! "Usagi!" He called as he went to him.

"Takahiro."

He'd said his name softly. Almost as if he was in a dream state. "Usagi? Is Misaki?" His throat felt tight as he spoke, and when Usagi's red tearful eyes met his own, he thought he'd be sick.

"He's okay," Usagi replied. "He's…okay."

Takahiro fell to his knees in relief. "Oh thank god! I thought. With the way you were acting." He looked his best friend in the eyes now, having to look up because he was on his knees, and was slightly confused.

It wasn't that he felt Usagi shouldn't care for Misaki. He'd known for a while that Usagi saw Misaki as a brother. He was fiercely protective and he wasn't going to complain. The more people who had Misaki's back, the better. But in all the years he'd known Usagi, he'd never once saw him cry.

"Usagi…"

"Takahiro!" Manami called as she ran to them. "Misaki? Is he okay?" She looked down at a grief-stricken Usagi, and her heart fell.

"He's okay," Takahiro replied, giving her a weak smile. "You didn't have to come."

"Of course I did!" She hugged Takahiro as he rose. "I was so worried. I left Mahiro at the sitters, and rushed over."

She glanced at Usagi again. He was crying. He looked as if it was his lover back there and not… She felt a little whiplash as it all came together. How Usagi reacted over Misaki's marriage. The way the two acted with each other. She'd just thought they were really close. She nearly laughed because she felt so silly for not realizing it before. It was all right there. Right in front of them.

"Well, I guess all we can do now is wait," Takahiro said as he sat. He took Manami's hand when she sat next to him. Please let his brother be okay.

Misaki cried out. He was disoriented and didn't understand who all these people were. Why were they touching him? He knew they were speaking, but he couldn't seem to make out their words.

"Usagi! Usagi!" he cried as fear overwhelmed him. "I want Usagi! Please, where is he? Please."

"Misaki. It's okay. You're okay."

The voice was soothing, and he looked for it. His eyes settled on a woman with kind eyes. "I want Usagi." At this moment he didn't care if he sounded like a child. He was confused and scared and wanted Usagi.

"You are in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

"I want," He started to say again but the memories started to come back. The last two days of his life crashed into him like a freight train. What had he done? What had he tried to do?

"I..Oh god." He remembered going over the cliff and he'd thought he had screamed, but it wasn't him who had been screaming, it was Usagi. "Where is he? Is he okay?" He tried to get up but was stopped.

"Let go!" he yelled as he tried to fight the nurses off. "I need him! I need to know that he's okay! Usagi! Usagi!" He turned when he felt a prick, then his limbs started numbing, making him sink back into the bed.

"Usagi," he said as he cried. "I want Usagi."

"He's in shock," Aria said to the nurse. Let him rest. I'll go update the family."

"Please, Is he okay? Misaki asked groggily."

Aria walked over to him with a smile. "Yes, Usagi is just fine." She'd tried telling him this as he fought, but this time he must have heard her because he closed his eyes and stopped fighting the sedative.

"Usagi," Aria said, pausing when she saw Takahiro. "Hey, stranger!" She added, but couldn't bring herself to smile. She was smart enough to figure out Takahiro and Misaki were related. She'd wondered when she saw the last name.

"Aria?" Takahiro replied, confused. "I. What are you doing here?"

"Usagi called me. I'm a psychiatrist. He told me what happened with Misaki, and asked me to be his counselor."

Usagi stood now, looking earnest. "Is he going to be okay? Did he talk? Can we see him?"

Takahiro looked at his friend feeling like those should have been his lines.

"He's in shock. You two have ten minutes, but after that, you need to go home and let him rest. I'll be keeping him here for observation. He will likely be sleeping. We had to sedate him."

"When it's time for him to leave, will I be called?" Takahiro asked. He watched as she glanced at Usagi.

"You are his next of kin, so, yes you'll be called. Takahiro, understand that Misaki is in bad shape. He will need support and care. Emotionally. I can give you a better idea of what we are looking at when I get more time with him."

Takahiro took Manami in his arms. He just needed to hold her. "Okay. Thank you."

She nodded as she put her hand on Usagi's shoulder. "I want you in my office at eight tomorrow morning. And no arguments!" She added sharply as he went to argue. "It will be worth it."

"Okay," he replied, not meeting her eyes.

"Go see him before you leave. You need it."

They did as told. Misaki was asleep, looking so small in the bed. It made Usagi die a little. How could he not have seen things got this bad? How had he not known?

Maybe he shouldn't have, since Takahiro was here, but he took

Misaki's hand as he sat. There was so much he wanted to say, and yet he knew he wouldn't be able to say anything even if Takahiro wasn't here. His thoughts were jumbled up and incoherent.

"I feel like a horrible brother. I didn't know he was suffering. I don't even know what he's suffering from."

Usagi knew. He knew he was suffering. He knew the why of it too, but he hadn't seen this coming. He knew Misaki was sad, but he didn't realize he was this sad. This lost. Not until the very end. Not until he saw that dead expression in his eyes as he left the apartment.

Acid burned in his throat. Was it catching him with Mateo that did it? Was that scene the last straw for him? Had his little act of revenge nearly cost him the love of his life?

He was a fool. So god damn foolish for acting like a child. For acting on emotions without thinking of what it would really do. He'd been so blind by his own hurt he didn't realize. He just. God he just didn't realize.

"I'm so sorry," Usagi said as he stood. He had to get out of here. Had to get away.

He was vaguely aware that Takahiro called after him, but he didn't care. Couldn't care at that moment. He was on autopilot. Like he was

on the outside looking in, and had no control over his movements.

He wasn't sure when he realized he was on his way to the mansion, but soon enough he was pulling through the gates. When he was here earlier, Haruhiko had said he'd upset Misaki, and he was going to find out what he did. That fucker.

He didn't even bother knocking. He walked right in, and luck being on his side, Haruhiko was right there, getting ready to leave.

"Akihiko, wh-"

Usagi had hold of his brother's shirt and against the wall in a moment. "What did you do to him!" He shouted. He was shaking with rage.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Misaki! What did you do to upset him?"

"I got a little carried away. That's all. He panicked and left."

Fury nearly made him dizzy as his fist found Haruhikos face. "You stupid son of a bitch! You have no idea what you did to him. He's been through trauma and you reminded him of that!"

Haruhiko fought back. For a moment, he had the upper hand, giving Usagi the same rough treatment. He tripped, causing them both to go down. Unfortunately, this gave Usagi the upper hand again.

Usagi punched him once more. "You stay the hell away from him! Misaki is mine, and if I find out you're bothering him again, I'll take you down."

"If you wanted him, then why did you let him go?"

"To protect him!" He lost some of his steam now. He'd let him walk out of his life to protect him, but all Misaki's grief stemmed from that act. Was all this on him?

He shifted, getting to his feet. He felt despair as he realized he was at fault. That's why he was so angry. He was to blame, and he didn't know what to do with the guilt he felt.

"Stay away from him. I swear I won't hold back if you don't."

"And if he wants me?" Haruhiko countered, whipping the blood off his lip.

The thought broke him. Did Misaki want him? He still didn't understand why they were together in the first place. "If he wants you, I will not stop him, but I'm not giving him up without a fight."

"What happened to you?" Aria asked as Usagi walked into her office. He was a little early, but seeing how her morning was free, it was no matter.

"I'm to blame. All of this, Misaki's misery. His trauma. It's. It's all my fault." He fell to his knees as it ate at him. How could he had not seen? How had he let this happen?

"Oh?" She asked, keeping her tone professional though she hurt for him. It looked like he'd been tortured with this line of thinking all night. "Why do you say that?"

"It was my fault we broke up! It was my fault he moved away! If I hadn't pushed him away. God if I had just been honest. If I hadn't tried protecting him."

"Come sit," she said, going over to her teapot. She was a strong believer in the power of herbal teas. "Now," she added when Usami didn't move. Normally she wouldn't be so forceful, but Usami was not a normal client.

By the time the tea was ready, Usami had made his way to the chair. "Drink."

She sat back down, absently rubbing her belly. The baby was really active at the moment, making her a little uncomfortable.

"Why did you break up with him?" For a moment she didn't think he would answer. She expected to have to coax it out of him, but he surprised her with an answer.

"My father isn't thrilled I'm gay. He'd threaten Misaki if we continued. He said he would stop at nothing to see us apart. Misaki is ten years my junior. That age difference can be complicated at times, but it never really bothered me. Sure, there were times when his actions reminded me he was young, but even then. However, as I thought about the things my father said he'd do? Misaki seemed so young then. Far too young to deal with the threats of a family who don't always play by the book. So I broke up with him. I wanted to protect him. I…"

He buried his face in his hands. "I was just trying to protect him."

"Did you ask him to move?"

He looked up, confused. "What?"

"Misaki talked to me. I only got an overall idea of what happened, but I know enough. You broke up with him. He moved away. Did you tell him to move so far away?"

"No. I never thought he'd move so far."

"And did you ask that man to rape him?"

His brow furrowed in disgust. "What? No. Why would you…"

"Do you make any of his decisions? Do you have control over his life?"

"No."

"When you broke up with him, did you know what all would follow? Are you a fortune-teller?"

"No, but…"

"No, but nothing. You couldn't have known this would happen. You didn't break up with him knowing the bad things that would follow. You can't take the blame for the actions of others."

"He caught me in bed with another man! That's my fault! What if that is was drive him over!"

"Did you do it to make him commit suicide?"

"No but I. I did it because he's dating my brother, and that hurt me and part of me hoped he'd find us so he knew what I felt. But when he saw us, that expression on his face. I regretted it instantly. I'm a horrible person."

"No, you're human."

"Aria, I intentionally hurt him."

"Yes, you did. He hurt you, so you retaliated. Was it the mature thing to do? No. Was it the right thing to do? No. But those feelings that drove you to do it are human. We can't always be rational. We are flawed creatures, and we make mistakes. You couldn't have known what would happen, and you can't know that's what drove him over the edge."

Usagi winced as The imagine of Misaki jumping played through his head. "I keep seeing it. Him jumping. I keep thinking if I'd arrived just a moment later I never would have seen him jump."

"But you did see him jump. Usagi, you saved his life."

He shook his head. It was the least he could do. "How do I help him? How do I prevent this from happening again?"

She smiled gently. "Now you are focusing on the right things. As I said at the hospital, Misaki will need a lot of support. I can't tell you what he's told me in confidence, but I will do my best on getting him to open up. What I need you to do is be there when those gates open, because he's going to need you now more than ever."

"I don't know. Maybe I'm the last person he needs."

"No, Usagi. You are the most important person he needs."

"How do you know? How can you be sure?"

She thought back to when she was with Misaki. When he'd come too, he cried for Usagi. His sobs were heartbreaking, and she felt so sad that she couldn't give him what he wanted. He wasn't allowed visitors for a while, but she couldn't tell Usagi this. It wasn't her place.

"Trust me, he needs you. I think you need him too. As far as you're family goes, I think Misaki is stronger then you give him credit for. Yes, right now he's a little fragile, but there's a fire in him. We just have to help him find it, and when he does, he can handle anything your crazy family throws at him. You know why?"

Usagi shook his head.

"Because he'll have you by his side. Having the person you love by your side gives you incredible strength and will. Together, you both will be just fine."

Takahiro stood in the door to the nursery. Manami worked so hard putting it together, so he felt bad that he was going to ask if she'd be mad if they turned it back into a guest room for Misaki.

He really didn't think she'd mind, but he still felt bad. They had to do it though. Misaki was going to need a place to stay, and he couldn't turn his little brother away when he needed him the most.

With a sigh, he turned the light off and found Manami already in bed with the popcorn. Once a week they made time for movies and popcorn just them.

"We don't have to do this today if you're not up for it. I imagine there's a lot on your mind." He sat on the bed as she spoke, and she went to him, hugging him from behind.

He held the arms that were around him. He loved her so much. "I think that's the reason I need to watch a movie. I've been thinking about Misaki nonstop since yesterday. I need to distract myself."

"Whatever you want," she said as she kissed his cheek.

"The nursery. Would you be really upset if we reverted it back to a guest room for a bit? Misaki will need a place to stay."

"I wouldn't mind one bit, but he may want to stay with Usami." She knew he wouldn't understand, so his question came at no surprise.

"Why? He needs to be with his family just now."

"Yes. We do want to be with the ones we love when we are hurting. That's why I think he might want to be there."

Takahiro stood, looking at her with confusion. "Are you implying he loves Usagi more than me?" That kinda hurt.

She chuckled. "No. I'm implying that he loves Usami in a different way then he loves you."

He thought it over but didn't understand. "I don't understand."

She stood, going to him and kissing him passionately. "My darling Hiro. He loves Misaki like this." She kissed him again emphasize what she meant. She could see it the moment he understood.

It was his turn to laugh. "Are you mad, woman? There's no way they are into each other like that."

"No? Think about it. The way he was at the hospital? The way he acted over Misaki getting married?"

He was considering that now. She wasn't wrong. He too thought the way Usagi was acting in the hospital was odd. And yeah. Them liking each other like that would explain his reaction to the marriage. And why Misaki wanted to stay when he and Manami came back. Actually, so many things started to make sense.

Misaki always talked about Usagi with affection. And he'd always looked a little infatuated with Usagi. Anytime the two were over for dinner Misaki would always look at Usagi with the cutest smile. Looking back, he felt dumb for not realize. But why would he?

"My best friend and my little brother?" He felt unsettled. They were both guys for one. And for another! How could neither of them mention this to him! "My best friend. My little brother."

He was so tired. Sleep was hunted by dreams of Misaki jumping and him not being able to save him. It was a scene that played over and over again, relentlessly haunting him day and night.

He took a deep breath when his door rang, but when Takahiro announced himself, he felt less annoyed.

"Hey, Taka…Umph." He was knocked back, unprepared for Takahiro's punch. "What the hell, man!"

Takahiro grabbed Usagi's shirt, pulling him close. "Do you love him! Is it true!"

Usagi deflated some. "Who?" He asked, just to be sure they were on the same page.

"Misaki! You dim wit!"

Usagi looked him right in the eyes. "I love him very much."

His heart dropped some. Was this for real? Was this actually happening? "Romantically?"

"Yes." Shit. How had he figured it out?

Takahiro let him go, taking a few steps back. "Why? How? When? I don't…you're a guy!" Man, he was having so many emotions. So many thoughts. He felt like they all jumbled around inside of him. "I think you have a lot of explaining to do."

"Come in. This isn't going to be a short explanation."

Takahiro followed him in and sat down. Usagi told him everything. How Usagi had been in love with him, and that was the only reason he'd agreed to tutor Misaki. How Misaki cried for Usagi because of him marrying Manami, and how that made him look at Misaki different. Then he explained The While situation with his family and that was why he'd broken things off. Everything. All of it. Except whatever happened to Misaki. That was for Misaki to say.

He sat there stunned. He'd never saw. Didn't realize it. "I don't know what to think." His head was hurting from all this information.

Usagi, who had paced as he told the story, sat. "Do you hate me now?"

He laughed some. "No. I don't hate you. I'm surprised. I'm not sure how I feel about this. But I don't hate you. I don't think I ever could."

"Here," Usagi said, giving him another glass of whiskey. "What are you thinking?" He'd been quiet for some time and it was making him anxious.

"I had no idea you felt that way about me. Never once did I see." He wouldn't say it out loud, but part of him was jealous. Not that he felt the same way. He wasn't into Usagi that way. But the fact that His beat friend loved his brother more? Ugh. What a silly thing to feel.

"I knew you didn't return the feelings. So I never said anything." There wouldn't have been any point. Besides, had they ever been more than friends, he wouldn't have had Misaki, and that was unthinkable.

"He's my brother. He's ten years younger then we are. That doesn't bother you?"

"No. He's like a breath of fresh air. He makes me feel like maybe I can have some kind of normal. I love him, Takahiro. I love him so much it makes me crazy. When he was here, I had a family. I had someone to come home to. Someone to hold when I was down. Someone who loved me despite my quirks. He just accepted me for me, and I never found that before. He just." Usami laughed some. "It sounds cheesy, but he completes me."

"Does he love you?"

"I think he did two years ago. I'm not sure how he feels now. I think he does. But only he can say for sure."

Takahiro drank down the rest of his whiskey. He still was unsure how to feel. He supposed he could accept it after he had time to process it. To understand it.

"I didn't mean to hurt him. You have to believe that. He's my world, Takahiro, and I've never meant to hurt him." He hated that he teared up. He hated showing emotion in front of people and he'd shown way too much these past hours.

"I'm hurt he never told me."

"I think he's afraid of your reaction. He cares a lot about what you think."

"Yeah. I guess that's true." Besides, maybe this was the best way to find out. Had Misaki come to him without him having time to accept it, then he might not be able to react well.

"Shit, Usagi. This is a lot to get my head around."

"I know."

Takahiro stood, holding out his hand to Usagi. "I don't understand, and I'm not sure what I'm feeling, but you are my best friend and he is my little brother. If this is what will make you both happy, who am I to stand in the way?"

Usagi took his hand, and Takahiro pulled him up into a hug. "Thank you." His approval meant the world to him. More than he realized it would. "Thank you so much, Takahiro."

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I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks :D