Xander returned shortly there after, his hair still wet from the shower.
"Giles went home to get changed and gather a few things." Xander told them. "He told me to go ahead with this meeting. First off, Amy, Cordelia said she was going to explain things to you."
"She did and I understand you learned something about me and my possible fate in this other reality."
"A fear demon caused you to turn yourself into a rat and Willow couldn't turn you back. Weird thing is, you turned Buffy into a rat while you were affected by another spell and Giles had no issues turning her back. And yet no one seemed to even consider discussing having him change you back. It feels like it may be another manipulation, which suggests one side or the other, had an interest in you remaining a rat. I imagine being in that state for a prolonged period of time would have a definite affect on your emotional and mental stability, which is something someone could capitalize on."
"On top of dealing with what my mother did to me? Crazy is the bare minimum of what it would do to me." Amy agreed grimly. "And maybe make me more controllable or just an unstable weapon they could aim in the general direction of something and not care about the fall out."
"That's why I want to do a scan of you and check for any existing influences and put blocks in to help keep such influence out. Be aware that even though I have twenty years worth of memories of how to do it, that information is based on possibly false memories. Alexander may only have existed because of the spell and everything that went into his character came from my knowledge of the tv show. Or he could be a real version of myself from yet another reality that was super imposed on me. It's not something we'll likely ever know. But either way, I'm the equivalent of what he was at five years old, a beginner and I don't have anyone to teach me, like he did. I have to figure it out on my own with just the memories to guide me. That means the blocks will be rudementary at best, but as I learn and advance, in time I can strengthen them."
"I know you, Xander, you've been looking out for people for a long time." Amy told him. "I want to see a demonstration of your ability and then I'll decide whether you can put the blocks in. So start with a scan and go from there."
"I'm not coming on to you, Amy, but I will need to hold your hand." Xander joked and with a smirk, Amy held her hand out.
'Hi, Amy.' Amy heard Xander's voice in her mind. 'Let's have a look at what's going on. Now I don't plan to peek at what is the equivalent of you in a locker room changing clothes. You're a hot girl, but I'm a taken guy and I don't want to be a pervert kind of guy. So what I'm doing is looking for shadows in your mental landscape. They move when you're not looking. Which means they're separate from you. Someone else's shadow cast over you.'
'I understand.' Amy's own mental voice assured him. 'Do what you need to.' After a few moments Xander's mental voice spoke again. 'Your mother caused her own damage to you, Amy. Giles might be able to help you with that later. He knows what dark magic can do to a person. Aside from that, I'm not seeing anything presently. Would you like me to go ahead with putting in blocks?'
Amy felt shaken by the knowledge that her mother had damaged her. Emotionally, mentally she'd known being body jacked by her own mother while her mother used her body to cause harm to others had to have an affect, but she'd never examined what the affect might be. Too scared to look, to be reminded of her mother, she supposed. Time passes differently inside one's mind and Xander was patient while Amy thought over her options and then said. 'Go ahead, Xander. And I'll talk to Mr. Giles.'
'Everyone else calls him Mr. Giles.' Xander's voice was amused. 'You become one of his kids and he's Giles. The other him got increasingly oblivious as time went on. Something he instinctively fought against, but was very much what those influencing him wanted. You ask him for help and you're one of his. He'll fight his own mind trying to help you. And we need him and what he represents for us. An adult who gives a damn. I wonder how far they would have taken it, in order to control those he wanted to protect? Would they have ultimately killed him or settled for driving him away somehow? I hope we never experience either one.' He carefully set up blocks in Amy's mind while she watched and took notes, in time she may be able to reinforce them with Magic. Once he was finished, Xander withdrew from her mind.
"I believe you." Amy said out loud. "You may be a beginner, but your protective instincts may make you the equivalent of a talented amateur. Now what?"
"Now you decide if you want to join our group and help us fight monsters and keep people safe. Whether the Shadows or Vorlons exist here or not, we can't risk Willow being our magical support. What Alexander saw in other Willow's mind was the fact that Willow's overconfident, arrogant and assumes she can handle anything and get it right all the time. 90% of the Magic she did was dangerously flawed by that attitude and yet it never stopped her. And the Shadows didn't introduce those traits or amp them up, just took advantage of the fact that they existed. Willow can help with research, but Magic in her hands will turn on us all. You're not arrogant or overconfident and you don't over reach, your problems stem from what your mother did to you and as long as we can keep others from causing you further harm, you can be a big help. Think about it."
"I did, while you were doing your work in my head. I'm in. My mother did terrible things with Magic, I want to do good things."
"Then welcome to the team."