To say Wolffe was frustrated would have been the biggest understatement in the galaxy. There he was, muscles burning with fatigue, sweat clinging to his blacks and panting like a Hutt that just took the stairs to the third floor. He hadn't felt like this since he was a cadet, damn, even the first battle of Geonosis seemed like a breeze right now. Still, he forced himself to maintain his stance, he would be damned if they caught him slipping now. It was so infuriating, Kriari was breathing a little deeper than she usually did, she was trying to control her breathing, but that was the only indication that they had been fighting the last thirty minutes.
He knew she was a Jedi, he knew they trained since they were children, so did the clones and they were engineered to keep up with Jedi, but the gap between their abilities was still quite large. He resisted the urge to scratch his fresh scar out of annoyance. They had been at it for a week now and he was making progress -slow, but progress nonetheless.
Kriari slipped into her offensive stance once again. Wolffe resisted the urge to sigh. He admired her and her abilities -whether influenced by the Force or not- but he was not going to lie and say getting his ass handed to him on a platter by a teenager didn't hurt his pride a little. Kriari moved, and this time, Wolffe could actually follow the movement, his new eye a little sharper than his original one. He blocked one strike, then the counter strike, he parried and went on the offensive. Kriari blocked his roundhouse kick with ease, using his own strength and momentum to redirect the blow and get inside his guard.
The first time she'd done that, Wolffe had ended in the med bay with a heavily bruised rib, he knew better now. He backed away from her and created more space for him to move. Kriari wasn't incredibly big or strong, but she was quick and she knew what she was doing. Putting some distance between them was the smartest thing to do. Once he was out of her range, he went on the offensive again, looking for an opening in her defence. And then he saw it, Kriari had left her left side open, and Wolffe respected her too much to go easy on her.
As Wolffe's fist collided with Kriari's left side, all the air in her lungs was forced out. He heard the little "umph" that escaped her lips as she stumbled away from him. She looked at him in disbelief as she held her side. He smirked but he really should have kept a straight face. Well hindsight is 20/20. Something lit up in Kriari's eyes, something only her fellow Padawans had ever seen, something her masters found both concerning and incredibly amusing in equal measure: Competitiveness.
"Ah, shit, Commander- wait!" he said, backing up slowly as a predatory smile crept onto her face. Panic started to grow inside him steadily as the woman in front of him slipped out of her stance and started circling him like a predator, surrounding him, watching him, stalking him.
"You landed one on me, Wolffe. Let's see if you can do that again."
But he never got to find out, because General Koon announced their time was over. They all had responsibilities to attend to. It was quite remarkable how the fight left Kriari the second she stepped off the ring, Wolffe definitely still had his guard up. Sometimes he forgot that, for all her emotional volatility, Kriari was still a Jedi. Granted, not a fully trained Jedi but a Jedi nonetheless, so of course she knew when to quit.
Sometimes it felt like he knew very little about her, about her upbringing, about her culture and her relationships outside the 104th. But it didn't really matter, he knew who she was at her core: brave, bold, selfless, loyal. He didn't need more than that, even if the urge to know -to know her- was growing with each passing day. He wanted to be able to sit at the canteen and drink caf with her and talk, or more specifically, hear her talk.
He was a man of few words and 80% of those were usually sarcasm, so he wasn't one to make good conversation, but he could listen, he was very good at that. Wolffe had always been the observant type, and it was most likely the reason he had become Commander in the first place.
"Hey, Wolffe?" said Kriari beside him. "I won't be able to train with you for a while. I've been assigned a mission and I don't know when I'll be back. You'll train with Master Plo while I'm gone."
Her smile was a little strained, like she didn't really want to go, but orders were orders. The thought of her leaving with the 212th again made him more bitter than he cared to admit to himself, and once again his feelings were making his job far more difficult than it should have been.
"I guess you could give Cody my regards then.." he said as he put away his water bottle and towel before swinging the strap of his backpack over his right shoulder.
"Oh, no, I'm not being deployed with the 212th. I was assigned an undercover mission. It's just me and two other troopers. We're going to Ord Anlata."
Wolffe looked at Kriari for a moment, not really understanding why she was sharing this information with him. Did she feel guilty for leaving him again and felt like she had to explain herself? Did she simply not realize she shouldn't be telling him this? No, it was none of those. And then it dawned on him, Kriari was nervous. But why?
He didn't have time to figure it out, because Kriari crossed the space between them and slowly, gently, reached her hand up. Wolffe was frozen in place as Kriari's hand caressed his jaw, his cheek, the bottom of his scar. He wondered how the yellow of her skin would contrast with his dark complection and if she could feel the stubble starting to grow. She was looking at his face so intently, like she wanted to memorize it. She was touching it so softly, so reverently it made him feel fragile. It made him feel seen.
The moment ended before he could understand what was going on. Kriari took a step back and clasped her hand behind her back. She sighed at the floor before looking up at him once again.
"Goodbye, Commander. I hope we see eachother again. May the Force be with you."
…
Sinker was almost done packing when Wolffe entered the barracks. He didn't really pay him much attention, he still needed to double check his weapons were in top shape for his next mission. He had packed his new civvy clothes and fake IDs, he had hidden as many weapons among his luggage as he could without making him an easy target for scanners. He checked for ammo, then for his maintenance kit and the first aid pack Twitch had given him. He took a deep breath in. This one would be tricky.
"Can I have a word?" Asked Wolffe beside him.
"Of course, Marshal Commander." answered Sinker teasingly. Wolffe had been a little reluctant when he had been promoted, but the Pack was glad for him, he deserved it.
"None of that, this is more of an unofficial matter," he said before sitting on the cot across from Sinker. "I have a bad feeling about this mission, the Commander made it seem like she- like you wouldn't be coming back."
Now this was way out of Sinker's area of expertise. He knew Wolffe and their Jedi Commander had a special bond, hell there was an ongoing bet on the status of their relationship. But to have Wolffe approach him about Kriari was not something he had expected.
"Well, we are going undercover and we might not be back in a while…"
Wolffe sighed.
"It's not that, when she said goodbye- it seemed almost too final '' If it hadn't been for the fact that his brother was voicing his concern, Sinker would have thought Wolffe was completely indifferent to the situation. If one looked at his face, the only thing they'd see was confusion and a little frustration, but not concern.
"Maybe you should speak to her about it, vod." Sinker let go of any pretence of formality. This wasn't his CO talking to him, it was his brother. "The only thing I can tell you is that I will do anything to keep her safe, and so will Art. But I can't speak for how the Commander feels, I care for her because she is loyal and kind, but that doesn't mean we are close."
Wolffe looked away, as if ashamed of something, as if speaking to Kriari was the last thing he wanted to do. And it was probably true, Sinker thought, they were walking a very fine line and one step in the wrong direction could prove to be catastrophic to them both.
"Come on, Wolffe." he said finally with a smirk and a rough pat on his brother's shoulder. "Don't tell me you're scared of a teenager, Commander."
"Sinker-"
"It's Just talking, vod. Clear things up before she leaves, because if something happens to either of you, you will both regret it the rest of your lives."
…
I stared at my folded robes, the urge to take them with me was great, but I would not be a Jedi for the duration of the mission, and as such, I would not be able to have anything that could identify me as one. Still, I would not be erasing my identity so easily, even if my clothes, my armour and my braid would not be coming with me on this journey.
I wore robes that resembled traditional Tusken wear -with a few alterations to make them easier to fight in-, my face would be covered most of the time, and the only weapon I'd be able to use was the old rifle I'd brought with me when I first left Tatooine all those years ago. It was a jarring experience, to let go of one's identity completely and become no one. The ego was yet another attachment Jedi were encouraged to let go of, but only few managed to do it.
And there I was, staring holes into a few layers of clothing that had become a part of me, a part of my identity. I would no longer be Commander to the 104th and the 212th. I would no longer be an apprentice to masters Plo Koon and Obi-Wan Kenobi. I would no longer be Kriari Foreas.
Someone knocked at my door. It was past lights out, and I would be heading out at first light. Few people knew where I was going, but they all knew I'd be leaving for a while. Whoever was out there wanted a word before I left. I should have been surprised, I really should have. But when the door opened to reveal a very anxious Wolffe, all I could think about was the fact that he was there.
"Commander, can I have a word?" He said after a moment.
All I could manage was a nod as I stepped aside from the door to let him in. He seemed just as lost as I felt. The Force around him was anxious as well, and he couldn't bring himself to look me in the eyes.
"About today, Commander- what you said…."
"I apologize if I overstepped, Wolffe" I interrupted. "I just, Where I'm going isn't exactly safe at the moment, and I wanted to make sure… I don't know what I-"
"You made it sound like you wouldn't be coming back." He said, his tone slightly accusing.
"I might not be."
"You will, you have to." He insisted, finally looking at me.
"I can't make promises like that and you know it." I said, almost pleading.
I was confused, overcome with emotions I couldn't place. Why was he here?
"Then I'll make a promise," he said, taking my right hand in both of his. "I will tear this galaxy apart to find you, Kriari. So make sure you come back."
He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed my palm before placing it on his cheek.
"I promise."