DISCLAIMER: I do not own "Hawaii Five-O" or any of its characters.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

As always thoughts are in italics.

I'm excited for what's to come...things are going to get good! YAY! Can't wait for it!

XO,

DivaLola

CHAPTER 10

Not sure where to begin Maddie pursed her lips and squinted her eyes in thought. Steve could almost see her mind moving. After a minute he finally said, "Maddie?"

She locked eyes with him at the sound of her name. She had so many questions that she didn't know where to begin. "What time do you need to be at work?" She knew it was a lame starting point, but she figured she'd work her way up to talking about his father.

That was not what Steve was expecting. "That's what's keeping you from going to sleep?" he asked. Maddie said nothing, only waited for the answer. "No work today."

"But it's…" She had to think for a second. The last few days blended together. "…Friday."

"So?"

"Are you not going to work because of me?" she asked, immediately feeling more guilty than she already was. Here she had ignored him, for months, when he'd really needed her only to have him take amazing care of her. I'm a terrible friend, she thought.

"Does it matter?" he responded.

"Yes. I can take care of myself, ya know."

"I never said you couldn't." He sighed. "Look, Mads, don't fight me on this because you're not gonna change my mind. I'm staying here with you. Okay?" He paused before adding, "I'm really worried about you."

Maddie chewed the edge of her bottom lip trying to bite the skin off, a nervous tick that didn't go unnoticed by him. "I'm sorry about yesterday. It had been a long day. I don't know what happened… but I'm alright. Sure, my head hurts, but even Malia said I'm gonna be fine. So, you don't need to worry about me. I'm okay," she attempted to assure him.

"Maddie, I know all that, but that's not why I'm worried." He hadn't wanted to talk about this until she was feeling better, but it looked like they were going to. "I know what happened yesterday… and so do you." At this she averted her gaze, embarrassed. "Hey… look at me." Maddie's eyes returned to him. "Want to tell me what's going on?" he gently asked.

"I don't know what you mean. Nothing's going on," she lied, once again picking the skin of her bottom lip with her teeth.

"Maddie," he sighed.

"What?" she responded innocently.

"Okay, let's start with yesterday," he said. "You passed out, Mads. You fainted."

She looked away again, "I guess so."

"Look at me…" he told her again. When she didn't look back at him, Steve took his left hand and placed it under her chin guiding her face up.

He smiled before continuing. "You've never fainted before. At least that I know of. What happened?" She said nothing as she stared back at him still nibbling her lip. "Maybe it's from not getting any sleep?"

"Who told you that?" Maddie asked.

"No one had to tell me. It's obvious... But, Pete did mention it. What's going on? Why aren't you sleeping?"

"You surprised me. I had no idea I'd be seeing you. That you were even back in Hawaii," she told him. "It had nothing to do with how much sleep I get."

Steve rolled his eyes at her response. "I didn't make you pass out, Maddie. Yeah, you were surprised, but you were exhausted. You could barely speak." He paused before asking again, "What's going on? Why aren't you sleeping?"

Maddie knew she couldn't get away with claiming she didn't know, but there was also no way she was going to tell him the truth. She still had to protect him. She felt bad lying to him, but it was for his own good. She'd only ever really successfully kept a few big secrets from him. One had come out and the other were still safe. Now that he was a Navy Seal it was harder to hide things from him than it was when they were teenagers, but she'd gotten better at it. She wasn't stupid, she knew she wouldn't be able to keep this from him forever, especially since he wasn't deployed. When he was overseas it was easier to hide things since they couldn't see one another. But, she still had to try. "Unknown sender" had made himself clear. "My schedule's been insane the last few months. It's draining. Haven't you ever been so tired that you're too tired to go to sleep?" she lied.

Steve knew she was lying, but decided to play along with it for the time being. "But at some point you fall asleep, and that's not happening to you."

It was obvious he'd been talking to Pete. Even though he hadn't come out and said it, he knew about the nightmares. She could tell. Annoyed Pete couldn't keep his mouth shut, she snapped at him. "Why ask me the questions when you've gone to Pete first?"

"Hey! I called you first! I wanted to talk to you! You wouldn't call me back. For months. I was worried about you. You've never done that before," Steve exclaimed. He was dying to hear what excuse she gave him now.

Maddie's eyes fluttered closed for a brief time before she opened them. Dammit, she cursed. She'd walked right into that one. She knew she had to stay calm and tell him a mixture of the truth and a lie in order to distract him. Shaking her head slightly she responded, "I'm sorry. I should've called you back. I wanted to talk to you…"

Steve could tell that was the truth. "Why didn't you?"

She took a deep breath and sighed audibly. "Honestly? I was annoyed with you."

Steve's eyes widened recognizing that she was telling the truth again. "Why?"

"Seriously?" Maddie scoffed. "I rearranged my schedule to go to that awards dinner in your honor and-"

"I never asked you to rearrange your schedule!" he interrupted.

"I know that! I wanted to go! I was so excited you asked me! I had such a great time that night and then I barely heard from you the next year and then nothing the year after that."

"That was the best night I've had in… probably forever," Steve admitted. "I'm sorry I didn't reach out that much afterwards. I was so wrapped up in catching the Hess brothers. I know it's no excuse." He paused, hoping she'd accept his apology. "So that's why you wouldn't call me back?"

"Yeah. I was hurt," Maddie somewhat lied. Sure, she had been upset she hadn't heard from him much, but that wasn't really why she hadn't called him back.

"You could've called me, you know that. I always had the emergency satellite phone on me," he told her.

"I know, but it's for emergencies. I knew you must've been busy," she replied honestly. "I'm sorry I didn't call back…" Maddie paused. "You have no idea how much I wish things would have been different." She barely whispered the last part as if she was saying it to herself and not to him. Although she was staring at him she seemed to be somewhere else when she'd said it.

She was definitely still hiding something, and he knew she had no intention of telling him right now. He'd either have to wait her out, or figure it out himself. In the meantime, he'd watch her like a hawk. "It's okay… I just needed to talk to you."

"I know. I was planning to call you back the last couple weeks, but… it's been hectic. Not great."

"Why? What's going on?" Steve asked, concerned.

"New head of the label," her eyebrows furrowed and she frowned before continuing, "He's working us like crazy." There was no way she was going to tell him why Larry Kern had it out for her.

"Well, have you met him before?" Steve asked.

"No, but it's fine. Who am I to complain?" Maddie flashed him a small smile. Perfect segue! she thought. "But hey, enough about me... talk to me... Steve, what happened?" The concern for him was evident on her face. "When did your dad pass away?"

"Maddie, I am so sorry you found out the way you did. I wanted you to hear it from me. I know how close you two were," he told her as he tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ear. It was a gesture she'd always loved.

"Steve, I know. It was my own fault. I'm sure that's something you were going to tell me when you called. But, don't worry about me. Tell me what happened? Was it a heart attack? A stroke?" Maddie asked. It was the only thing she could think of even though John had always been healthy.

The look on his face and the silence made her stomach churn. "He was murdered, Mads."

Shock filled her face as her jaw dropped. Her eyes widened and filled with tears, "What? By who?"

He didn't know how much he should tell her, especially right now when she wasn't feeling well and had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Did he tell her about Hess? Wo Fat? Or that his mother was actually murdered? "Victor Hess," he finally answered.

Maddie knew about the Hess brothers. Steve always kept her updated on everything he did, well everything he could tell her. She didn't know anything about them, only their names, that they were brothers, and that Steve had been hunting them for five years. "What? Steve? Oh my God!"

He decided not to tell her about Wo Fat, ending up in jail, his father's investigation, his mother's murder, and definitely not the tape he found of his father with the governor and Wo Fat. He knew she was in a fragile state, consumed by something that was bothering and scaring her. It was keeping her from taking care of herself. He didn't want to add to her worry and he knew telling her all that would only upset her. So, Steve filled her in only on what had happened four months ago when his father was murdered and how he came to be at Five-O. When he finished she was speechless. "Steve, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. You know I would have dropped everything and come."

"I know," he smiled.

"Did you get to see him before…? Did you see him in the last 2 years?" Maddie asked, praying the answer would be yes.

Steve paused and looked away, his eyes becoming glassy. He didn't need to say anything, she knew the answer. Maddie immediately scooted closer to him and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her flush against him. She wrapped her arms around his middle. He'd never been a big crier, but Maddie felt a few tears hit her cheek as they hugged. They laid like that in each other's arms for a few minutes. With his arms still around her, Steve pulled back from her a bit to look in her eyes. "Maddie?"

"Yeah?" she answered.

"I can't lose you…"

"You won't. Don't worry about that," she assured him as she caressed his cheek with her right hand wiping a single tear from his cheek.

"I need you to care of yourself. I can't lose you," he clarified.

"I am taking care of myself. I'm fine."

"No, Maddie, you're not. I know something's wrong. I know you're not telling me something," he told her.

"Steve… that's-" she began, but was interrupted.

"You don't understand. I can't live without you," Steve admitted, his voicing tight with suppressed emotion.

"You won't have to," she whispered as he tucked her head back against his chest. After ten minutes of silence, and thinking Steve had fallen asleep, she whispered, "I do understand… because I can't live without you either. And don't worry, I'm making sure nothing happens to you."

Little did Maddie know he was not asleep. His heart sunk at her words. She was protecting him from something. Because of that she wasn't going to let him in. She'd tell him nothing. He'd have to figure this one out. Finally, the exhaustion became too much and he fell asleep, finding it easy to do so with Maddie in his arms.

Snuggled into Steve, Maddie's mind raced. She knew that as long as she was in Hawaii, and he knew she was keeping something from him, he wouldn't let her out of his sight. She figured they were safe in the house, but what would happen if they left and went into the real world? Would "Unknown Sender" go after him? Did he already know they were together? She had no idea how she was going to get herself out of this situation without filling anyone in. Sighing, her mind wandered back to what Steve had just told her. It suddenly hit her that his father had been murdered and tears began to roll down her cheeks.

John McGarrett had been like a father to her. When he'd discovered how bad her home life was, he and Doris had helped her become emancipated. They helped her find an apartment near their home and a job. She ate dinner and did her homework at their place almost every day. They saved her. Every time she was back in Honolulu she'd spend a lot of time with Steve's dad. Thinking back on all the memories and everything he'd done for her Maddie began to cry harder. Not wanting to wake Steve, she did her best to hold the sobs in, but the harder she tried the more she failed. Her breathing was becoming labored and her head had hit a new level of pain.

For some reason his arms were moving around a lot, which woke him up. Slightly opening his eyes, the sight before him broke his heart. He knew she was crying over his dad. Steve pulled her closer to his body and began rubbing soothing circles on her back. "Shhh, everything's okay."

"Sorry… I… woke… you… up," she said as she tried to catch her breath.

"I would've been upset if you hadn't. I know how close you guys were. It's okay… but this isn't good for your head. Just try and calm down. Take a deep breath."

Maddie did as he said. Eventually she calmed and stopped sobbing, however tears still slid down her face. She nuzzled into Steve's white t-shirt clad chest breathing in his scent as he continued to rub her back. She'd always loved the way he smelled.

After fifteen minutes Steve felt her breathing even out and knew she had finally fallen asleep. "Thank God," he whispered. She desperately needed rest. He didn't want something even worse to happen to her because she was overly exhausted. Relaxing, Steve quickly fell back to sleep, Maddie still tightly held to him.

He'd been watching the screens since she'd arrived home. She had no idea he'd placed cameras and could see every part of the gigantic estate. Not just inside, but outside as well. And she had a lot of land. He'd watched her strip down and take a shower, something he enjoyed watching very much even if she had been in pain. He'd seen Steve take care of her and put her back to bed. Hearing her hint at what she was hiding, the tall man threw his beer bottle against the wall in frustration, the glass shattering into a million pieces. "BITCH!" he yelled. He'd warned her. He'd keep to his original plan, but he'd have to teach her a lesson. He hated that he did, but he couldn't let her get away with this. She had to learn. He laughed maniacally as he thought how fun it was going to be to toy with them both.