Turn Right When?

OR…Patty meets Deadpool. And Loki is weirded out by their camaraderie. Deadpool can and will break the fourth wall.

I have not watched any of the Deadpool movies so I'm just going by the memes for his personality.

Loki would argue that he was not overprotective. It was just that sometimes the Spider-Child needed…supervision. She was always so afraid of hurting anyone, and that often led to interesting situations on her daily, or rather nightly, patrol.

So when he found her eating ice cream on a roof with a man armed with two katanas and two guns, he was understandably concerned.

And when Loki is concerned, things can get deadly…fast.

So of course Loki whipped out his knives.

"Step away from him." Loki said to her, surprised by how calm he sounded.

Patty blinked. "It's OK, Mr. Loki, Mr. Deadpool here was just asking for directions."

The Deadpool character rolled his eyes. "Yeah, c'mon, chill. It's not like I was gonna f-"

He cut himself up. "This is so stupid! I can't swear in this stupid K+ fan fiction! It doesn't make sense, I HAVE to swear!"

He took a deep breath, and continued. "Like I was saying it's not like I'm going to kill her. I just needed some directions."

He turned back to Patty. "You were saying?"

"OK, so you just take a left once you hit Madison Street, and you're there!"

Against his better judgement, Loki found himself intrigued. "Where is there, actually?"

"Only the best d-d-da…oh this is ridiculous, I physically can't swear!"

Deadpool stood up and yelled to the sky. "SO MY WORD OF NON-EXISTENT HONOR WASN'T ENOUGH FOR YA, HUH? YOU HAD TO PUT PHYSICAL RESTRAINTS ON ME? NOT COOL! NOT COOL AT ALL!"

So…he was insane…interesting. Luckily for his continued existence he did not appear to want to harm Patty, so Loki put his knives away.

"He was looking for a shwarma place, so I told him about Ms. Stark's favorite place." Patty continued to lick her ice cream.

Deadpool interrupted his yelling. "Ya know, the place all the Avengers eat at in the end credits scene of the first movie."

And then he went back to screaming at the sky. Strange man.

"Where did you get that?" Loki asked. Deadpool was still yelling to the heavens, trying desperately to swear.

"Mr. Deadpool bought it for me. You want some?"

"No thanks."

Deadpool's yelling got louder, if that was possible.

"NOBODY'S EVEN GONNA READ SOMETHING WITH SUCH A STUPID PREMISE! YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M LEAVING! AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME! F-F…FUN YOU!"

Deadpool started to climb down the fire escape. "Thanks a ton, kid. I hope you don't have a swearing habit 'cause someone." He glared up at the sky. "Has a problem with that. May the Force be with you and all that crap."

Loki was speechless for a few moments. "I sincerely hope he does not cross your path again."

Patty started to eat her cone. "I don't know, I kinda liked him. He was fun. And weird."

Yep…that happened…don't know what else to say about the above…I'm sorry if Deadpool is out of character.

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