I Wish I Wasn't So Hungry

Yup, you guessed it, Patty thinks she may have become a vampire. But only one person believes her…I promise this will not be violent and gruesome. I just like monsters and things and could not wait until Halloween to write this.

I know, I know what you're thinking, "But Ivanhoe1820, doesn't Loki seem like more of the vampire type?"

Yeah, maybe, but he's also a lot more careful than Patty and would never let himself get accidentally bitten by a vampire. Also, why would he want to? He's already immortal and has cool magic. Being a bloodsucker would not improve his current quality of life, or give him any advantages.

This will be more "plot driven" than the rest of my one-shots, which were mostly just random randomness.

For all my squeamish readers, there will be a little blood and stuff ('cause vampires) but not anything too gross. No stabbing with stakes or anything.

And I agree with you, The 1980s Ruled, that is the best scene. Though I also really like the part when the car gets set on fire with Steve Martin's wallet in the glove compartment. Gold.

Patty POV:

OK, looking back I should probably have been suspicious of that guy. He was acting kinda weird, you know, drooling and stuff, but New York is weird, OK? I've seen a lot of things, so yeah.

And it wasn't even like I was on patrol, I was just quietly existing.

To put it simply, a homeless guy bit my hand.

And…may have sucked some of my blood.

I know, I know, I have super strength, I should have just pulled away, but that guy was strong, like, really strong. I was caught by surprise, and he was gone. Come to think of it, he was also really fast.

But I wasn't really thinking about that because HELLO? SOME RANDOM HOBO SUCKED MY BLOOD!

What I did next was really dumb, even for me. I didn't tell anybody. Well, except for Nell, in fact I went crying to her place, and she, kinda helplessly, washed it and put a band-aid on it.

It didn't even hurt that much, so I ignored it. I have a healing factor, after all. I'd be fine.

Except I wasn't fine.

The symptoms started the next day.

Light hurt. Like, it hurt when I saw it, even when it touched me. And I was hungry. Really hungry. I couldn't even look at Uncle Mark. Something, something knawed at at me.

OK, I was losing my mind.

Or maybe becoming a vampire.

I was more inclined to this belief after I looked in the mirror and noticed that I was now the not-so-proud owner of a pair of fangs where my canines would normally be.

First I called Happy. She actually picked up for once, which gave me a little bit of hope. But then she just said that she was busy and that I should get some more sleep and only call back if I had something really important to tell her.

OK, it can still be fine. I called Ms. Stark next.

"H-Hello? Ms. Stark?"

"Yello, what's up kid?"

"I-I think I'm turning into a vampire."

There was a long pause on the other end.

"…Patty, I think you should go to bed earlier, the neighborhood won't fall apart without you. And maybe take a break from Twilight."

"But it's true! Ms. Stark"

And then she just hung up. I guess I just must have caught her at a bad time or something. I don't even like Twilight!

I started to cry. Soon it would be time to go to school, and light hurt, and my fangs were too sharp, and I was so hungry I thought I was gonna die and nobody believed me and…

Wait. Of course! Why hadn't I thought of this earlier! Mr. Loki was magical and everything! He would help!

I quickly called him up.

He sounded groggy. "Spider-Child? What is it?"

Now that he was on the phone I felt completely at ease. I wasn't even crying anymore. "Hiya, Mr. Loki! I think I've become a vampire."

There was a small, a very small pause on the other end. "I see. Do you wish to meet at my apartment or some other place to…discuss further steps to take?"

I was really surprised. "Wait, so you believe me?"

"You are the last and only good person on this earth, I'd believe you if you said cartoon birds braided your hair this morning."

Loki POV:

She came to my apartment. She knocked on my door, swathed in scarves and a sun hat. There were tears in her eyes.

"The light…it hurts so much."

The blinds were already down as she carefully unwrapped herself and sat on the sofa.

"I'm missing school. I'm playing hooky. Oh gosh."

She sniffed. "At least I don't have to watch that embarrassing Captain America video though. They always show it on Thursdays."

I tried to keep calm as she told me the story. Do not yell, do not yell. I did not want to hurt her anymore than she already was.

"Happy was busy with something and Ms. Stark didn't believe me."

"They did not believe you?"

"No, they both said I should just get more sleep and…augh, I'm so hungry!"

She curled in on herself and transformed into a bat. My shock at this was no where near the level of Patty's. It took a good fifteen minutes to coax her down from the ceiling and ten more minutes of quiet soothing before she reverted.

"Oh…if I wasn't a vampire, that would actually be pretty cool. But since I'm a vampire, it's not so great." She stared intently at me.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look delicious? Like, I bet your blood would taste like a slushie, and". She covered her mouth. "I'm losing it. I'm losing my mind."

After that she stopped. For which I was very grateful for, as that was one of the only times in my life that I have been truly "creeped out".

Patty POV:

I can't believe I said that. I was just so hungry. I had never known what hunger was like before this moment. I kept my hands clamped over my mouth so I wouldn't say anything else weird. Mr. Loki was doing something definitely magical with his hands. I watched. Watching him do magic could take my mind off anything, even the hunger.

Soon he sighed and turned to me. "I've located the vampire who bit you."

I took my hands off my mouth. "OK. What are we gonna do?"

A wooden stake appeared in his hands. And he got that kill look. The one I knew so well. Oh dear. But before I could say anything the vampire appeared in our midst.

He was kinda sad and pathetic, close up. He was really skinny, and pale, and wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt. I almost cried, but maybe that was because I was so hungry.

"Time to die, bloodsucker."

OK, that was definitely a no.

I jumped between them.

"Hey! Wait! There has to be some ways to fix this without someone dying!"

The vampire nodded shakily. "Y-Yeah. I'm sorry, OK! I was just so hungry, and-and"

"Cease your whining." Mr. Loki looked at me. "For now, I will be peaceful, but if it's the only way…". He glared at the vampire. "Expect no mercy from me if we cannot undue this in the near future. I will not hesitate."

GAH! Chills. Like, I knew Mr. Loki had violent tendencies but this was on a whole other level… But it was OK. We could fix this. I had to.

"OK, uh, what's your name, vampire, sir?"

He was still staring in terror at Mr. Loki. "Vern."

Ouch. Well, no matter. "OK, Vern, do you know a way to reverse this that does not involve wooden stakes?"

He nodded shakily. Well, that was a relief. "Y-Yes, but it's impossible, it requires using magic to separate the vampire toxins from the bloodstream, but that's impossible!"

I gestured to Mr. Loki. "You're lookin' at the greatest magician the universe has ever seen, Vern."

Mr. Loki smirked. He did like flattery. "Well, looks like you are going to leave her alive after all, mosquito." But he showed him the stake. "If I ever catch a whiff of you near her again, I will not be so merciful."

Mr. Loki snapped his fingers and Vern disappeared.

"Come on, you could have at least tried to help him!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Since when did caring for homeless vampires become my problem? Now let's begin."

It took a while. A long while. Like, a really long while. By the time we had bid the last of those vampire particles goodbye it was afternoon.

He sighed. "Please, please, for the sake of my sanity don't become a vampire again. Or a werewolf. Or anything other than what you are."

I grinned. "Yeah, of course not. What say we both get ice cream?"

And I'd try to forget how I'd missed school.

OK…that happened…I'm sorry, OK? Was it too gross? To violent? Have I lost your love and respect forever, Odinsdottir?

My original plot for this one was to have them both become vampires…somehow…should I have done that instead? Augh! Who knew fan fiction could be so stressful!

Again, review, request, and comment! Please keep reading!