More Than This

by Graveyard Whispers

Naomi Payton was Daryl Dixon's childhood best friend. In truth, they were each others only friend. But sometimes growing up means growing apart and when Naomi's ambitions and Daryl's loyalty to his brother drive a wedge between them, will the world falling apart be enough to bring them together again? Hell, will they even find each other again?

24. Googly Eyes

Naomi

My arms hurt. Muscles I hadn't used in a very long time burned in protest of how much I was using them now. The back of my neck had burned in the sun the day before. I'd made sure to cover up this time, but it hurt every time my hair brushed across it. I hoped it wasn't bad enough to start peeling. I looked up to see Abraham and Sasha on their regular patrol shift and prodded Daryl with the end of my shovel. Slightly annoyed, he looked up at me, squinting in the glare of the sun.

"You think that's happening yet?" I asked, nodding at where they walked together, heads bowed in conversation like they were the only two people who existed. It was damn cute, but I wasn't sure it made them the greatest lookouts.

"Far as I know, he's still with Rosita," Daryl shrugged. He seemed distracted and a lot less invested than he had before, which was weird given that he'd spent a whole car journey bombarding me with questions about it. Throwing his shovel on the ground, he sat down for a break, resting his arms resting on top of his bent knees. He'd been quieter than usual, and it felt like something was up.

I sat down next to him. There was an ache in my back from hunching over for so long. I lay down on the grass to stretch it out, the smell of dry earth all around me. After a moment, Daryl lay back too. I could hear other people digging around us, but staring up at the sky, it felt like it was just us. Like the world was big and we were small, and none of it mattered because we were next to each other.

"Feel like I've been put on one of them medieval stretching racks," I said, trying to find a cloud up there. Couldn't. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him turn his head to look at me. I heard the too-dry grass crunch under his head.

"What?"

"You know the ones where they'd tie you up by your wrists and your ankles. and then they'd pull you up in all different directions until everything hurts?" I said. "That's how I feel."

"Tied up?"

"No. Everything hurts."

"You know you can just say that, right?" he said, and I turned my head to look at him. "You ain't gotta go into the whole medieval torture thing."

I held up one of my hands to show him my palm. Some of the skin was dry and cracked from where blisters had formed and burst again. New beads of fresh red blood ran through dark dried scabs. "Pretty gross, huh?"

"Jesus, Naomi!" He rolled over onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. He took hold of my wrist with his own warm, rough hands. "How long you been digging out here?"

"Since we started."

"Every day?" he said. "You ain't taken a break or gone to help with the wall?"

Alexandria was only useful to me for as long as it provided a safe base to look for Mia. The sooner things were fixed, the sooner I could get back to searching.

"You know construction ain't my thing," I said. "I ain't good at building stuff like you. Digging just seemed easiest."

"You could've had a day off," he grumbled.

"There were so many graves to dig, didn't feel right," I said. "I'll have a day off when I'm dead."

"You ain't ever dying," Daryl said. "I won't allow it."

"Not sure you have that kinda power over the Almighty," I said. "If it's my time, it's my time."

"Nah, I'll have a word with Him," Daryl said darkly, like the Lord Himself would have to fight Daryl to get to me. I smiled. Couldn't help it. We'd lost a lot of people in one night, and death wasn't far from anyone's mind these days. It felt like a real possibility for any of us. The Wolves attack was the first truly awful thing to happen to Alexandria, and people were still reeling from it. It was mostly Rick, and the rest of his group, who'd rallied others to dig graves and fix the wall after those damn assholes had driven into it. It had been exactly the kind of disaster I was glad we'd taken them in for, I doubt this place would've stayed standing without them. Certainly not without Daryl.

"That where you went yesterday?" I asked. "To help with the wall?"

I'd gotten so used to seeing him out here, digging out in the sun, that it had been a real bummer to find he wasn't around. Days digging graves, and then, when the dead were buried, digging patches of farmland had been enjoyable up until then. He has this way of making shit things better.

"Nah," he said. He let go of my wrist and lay back, folding his arms across his chest, suddenly overwhelmingly interested in the open sky. "I was just busy."

"Busy?" I repeated. Such a vague answer for what should have been a pretty straight-forward question.

"Yeah," he said, something in his tone was cold and snappy. I recoiled. Looked up at the sky, too, because it was easier than looking at him while he blatantly lied to me. "Why? What's it to ya?"

"I was only askin'," I said, a tight ball of frustration sat in my chest. I let us both stew in the silence for a moment, could hear him sighing at whatever his inner monologue had him pissed off at this time. Usually, the silence was fine between Daryl and me. When you know there's nothing you can't talk about with someone, silence is as comfortable as a warm bath. But when that person is suddenly very clearly hiding something… it feels like you're cold and drowning. Was it me? Had I done something? I started to change the subject, but when I opened my mouth to say something, he'd started talking too. We both stopped and stared at each other like idiots, waiting for the other one to speak.

"Go ahead," Daryl said, it was weirdly formal, especially after his previous snarky remark. I wanted to laugh at him for it, but there was a tense nervousness in his eyes that made me feel jittery and nervous too.

"Nah, it's okay," I said. Because I hadn't really had anything important to say. I just didn't want to keep lying in that weird-ass silence. "What were you going to say?"

"Just, uh… That the wall's almost up. Expanded it to take in the Church, too."

I'd expected more than that, given how much build-up there seemed to be behind whatever he was thinking. Anyone with eyes could see that the wall was up and expanded. But he closed his mouth again, hesitated.

"Yeah," I said, and then because his nerves made me nervous, I started talking more than I needed to. "Thank God. Those morning patrols are way more stressful when Walkers can get in and out. Trying to work out who was dead and who was just out for a morning walk in their slippers..."

"So, it looks like things are getting back to normal around here, huh?" he spoke over me, but I didn't think he'd been listening, so wasn't sure he was even aware he'd interrupted.

"I guess," I said. Whatever this conversation was, wherever his mind was going, he wasn't doing a great job of taking me with him. That was so unlike us. I felt like something was broken, and it hurt to look at him. I looked back up at the sky, holding up a hand to shield my eyes from the glare of the sun. "If there is normal anymore."

"I just mean… now that this is all done, we could-"

A shadow fell over us, and Daryl stopped talking at once. I heard him exhale sharply through his nose. I dropped my hand and saw Eric standing over us.

"You two aren't slacking off, are you?" Eric said.

"No," I said, sitting up. "Just resting. Been at it all day."

"Check out her hands," Daryl said as I held them up to show Eric. "Ain't they gross?"

"God," Eric flinched away from them. "How did that happen?"

"Been too long since I did this much manual labor, my hands got soft," I said.

"Well, I brought you out some water," he said, holding out two water bottles. "Although I would've brought moisturizer if I'd known…"

I took hold of one of the bottles, and Daryl reached out for the other. I drank it so fast I felt sick. "Thanks."

"You guys should get moving," Eric said. "Memorial starts soon."

"Shit, forgot that was today," I glanced at how low the sun was getting in the sky and hauled myself to my feet. I looked back down at Daryl. No point in saying goodbye, I assumed he'd be at the memorial too, so I just said, "I should go clean up, wash this grime off me."

Daryl got to his feet, dusted down the front of his muddy pants, and said, "I'll walk y'all back."

Again, it felt weirdly formal of him to offer like that. Announce it and all. I was used to him just being around. Silently following, if that was what he wanted to do. Maybe it was just because Eric was here, or because of his damn weird mood before it. Whatever it was, I felt my stomach flip over when he said it, "You ain't gotta do that."

"It's on my way," he said, shrugging like I was the one being weird. Maybe I was. The new farming plot we were digging was on the other side of Alexandria to where we lived, and the natural route back took us past our house before it got to his. The only sound in the silence was our footfall on dry grass and my heart racing for no discernable reason.

"Haven't seen you around the house much lately," Eric commented as we started walking, looking pointedly at Daryl. A note in his voice told me he was snooping for something. I prayed Daryl didn't know him well enough to pick up on it.

"Well, most of us have been busy out here," I said, so Daryl didn't feel any pressure to answer. "In case slackers like you ain't noticed."

"Hey," Eric said. "I'm no slacker. My talents lie… elsewhere."

"Sure," I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Someone has to reorganize the way this town is run now that Deanna's gone," he pointed out.

"But does it need an entire committee to decide that Rick is absolutely the best choice of leader now?" I said. "Or are folks just looking for an excuse to stay home and avoid digging fields to plant crops?"

"Not everyone here is happy with Rick's… leadership style," Eric said, his gaze flickering warily to Daryl.

"Well then they oughta grow up," Daryl said. "They not learn anything from the Wolves attacking this place?"

"Rick's a great… wartime leader," Eric said, trying to be diplomatic. "But people here want peace now."

"Then people here are dumb," Daryl said. Eric looked to me for help. I shook my head.

"Daryl's right," I said. "Whole world's at war with itself now. Pretending like the Wolves were the only assholes out there is moronic."

"Do you want to come to these meetings and tell them that?" Eric asked.

"No," I said. "I ain't making the mistake of speaking up at one of those damn meetings again."

"I dunno," Daryl said thoughtfully. "You can be pretty persuasive. If anyone can convince people to do the right thing, it's you."

Not for the first time that day, my stomach flipped over, and I had no idea what to say to him. His flip-flopping from snapping at me to complimenting me was making my head spin. I looked at him, but he wasn't looking at me, so I stared at the ground in front of us.

"Heard you had a good run with Aaron yesterday," Eric said in an attempt to make casual conversation. It came crashing down around him.

"A run?" I repeated. Was that what he'd been busy with? Something about it didn't sit right with me. Least of all, because Aaron hadn't mentioned anything to me about it, hadn't asked if I wanted to come and look for Mia. And Daryl had clearly been hiding it. "You out looking for more people?"

It seemed a bit soon, with Alexandria only just starting to hold herself together again. We'd lost a lot, and we would need new recruits, but I couldn't imagine now was the best time to introduce new people. After a whole bunch of strangers knocking down one of the walls, gutting a bunch of residents like fish and letting in a horde of Walkers, concerns over Stranger Danger were at an all-time high. Some people had even started treating me with suspicion again.

"Nah," Daryl said. "Just getting some supplies."

That made even less sense.

"Why didn't Glenn go?" I asked. I knew he hadn't because I'd seen Glenn when I was obsessively looking out for Daryl. Had Glenn's role changed now that Deanna wasn't in charge? That also seemed dumb. He was absolutely the best person to lead groups on runs.

"Glenn ain't the only one who can get supplies, you know," Daryl was more annoyed than I expected him to be.

"Yeah, I know," I said. "He's just… I just wondered if there was a reason. Cool it."

"Nah, no reason," he said. I dropped it. Whatever he was trying to hide didn't feel worth arguing about. We came to a stop outside our house, and I fixed my eyes on the door. Now I could just go in and grill the truth out of Aaron.

"See you at the memorial?" I said. Daryl didn't say anything, just gave us both a nod and walked off in the direction of his house. I let out a breath, felt the tightness in my chest start to relax.

"God, I really feel like I put my foot in that," Eric muttered as we both stared at Daryl's retreating back.

"Same," I said. "Just wish I knew what it was we'd stuck our foot in."

Eric gave me a sympathetic smile and opened the door.

"You can invite him for dinner again, you know," he said, as we walked in. I was grateful he'd at least waited until Daryl was out of earshot before starting on this again. "Any time."

"Thanks," I said. Then, because I didn't want to give Eric any kind of false hope if he was only offering because of how much he'd enjoyed hosting dinner parties again, I added, "Actually… he mentioned having dinner again a little while ago, but said it should just be him and me so…"

"What?" Eric's head turned so fast I thought I heard his neck click. Had that offended him?

"I don't think he meant anything by it," I said quickly. "He had a great time with you and Aaron, I just think he-"

"He asked you to dinner?" Eric said. "Just the two of you?"

I couldn't miss the heavy implications in his voice.

"Well… not like that," I said, slipping my muddy shoes off and leaving them by the door. I turned and walked into the living room. "Aaron, you in here?"

"Kitchen!" I heard him call back. I headed towards him.

"Er, don't think you're done with this conversation," Eric said, following closely at my heels. I ignored him, fixed Aaron with a stare.

"Hey, Naomi," he said. "I was thinking-"

"What did you and Daryl go on a run for?" I asked. Watched him shrink him a little.

"Oh," he looked surprised. "He… he told you about that?"

"Not exactly."

"Think that might have been my fault," Eric admitted, looking a little bit guilty. I didn't miss the look Aaron gave him, like he wanted to cuss him out but knew he couldn't. "In my defense, I didn't know it was some big secret. Which begs the question… what were you out there for?"

Now Eric was suspicious too, which sent a little thrill of triumph right through me, and I felt less crazy for finding the whole thing bizarre. Aaron sighed, but there was a fear in his eyes like he felt cornered, "Just some supplies."

Supplies. It was precisely what Daryl had said, but it was so vague. Covered all manner of things. I could tell by the frown on Eric's face that he wasn't buying it either. "Why didn't Glenn go? Or someone else from his team?"

"It wasn't a big journey," Aaron said, very clearly trying to warn Eric away from asking any further questions, but it was too late, he'd dug himself far too large a hole. "Didn't need a whole team."

If either Aaron or Daryl had coughed up an example of what they'd been out there looking for. Just one thing, I would've believed them. What could possibly be so bad that Daryl would try and hide it? From me of all people?

"Oh my God, is Daryl sick?" I asked. Fear rose in my chest. It would be exactly like Daryl to get sick and not tell me about it due to some misguided attempt to protect me from feeling anything negative.

"No," Aaron said. "He's not sick. We just thought-"

"Are you sick?" Eric asked him, eyes narrowed.

"No," he said. "Everyone's fine. We went to look around a nearby town, found a few places that hadn't been scavenged. If you want to know anything else, I suggest you talk to Daryl about it."

"Already tried that," I sighed. "He was very evasive. Like you. Neither of you thought I might want to join? Check out the town for signs of my sister?"

"It wasn't anywhere you haven't already looked," he said. I narrowed my eyes. "I promise."

This was getting me nowhere.

"I should hit the shower, and then we'll head over to the Church?"

"Alright," Aaron nodded, relief plain on his face.

"Speaking of evasive," Eric said as I tried to walk away. "I hope you don't think this has distracted me from Daryl asking you out."

"That's not what happened," I said over my shoulder.

"So, he didn't ask you to dinner?"

I stopped and turned around again, clearly, I was not getting out of the conversation as quickly as I hoped.

"He just suggested getting food," I said. "Like we used to."

"But did he say food, or did he say dinner?" Eric asked. I thought about it for a moment, the memory was easy to find. I'd found myself playing it on repeat since that day.

"Dinner," I said. "Does that matter?"

"Yes," he said, and he seemed confident about it, but I couldn't really see the difference. "Dinner. Just the two of you. Anyone else would call that a date, Naomi."

"Eric," Aaron warned. "This is absolutely none of your business."

"It ain't a date," I said. "It's just me and Daryl catching squirrels and cooking them up like we used to."

"Yeah, okay," Eric said, sounding disproportionately disappointed for someone that this situation did not affect at all. "Maybe that doesn't sound like the most date-type activity."

"Well…" Aaron suddenly piped up, where I was so used to him biting his tongue.

"I'm sorry, are you on his side now?" I turned to him. Usually, I could count on him to back me up when Eric went off on one of his hopelessly romantic ramblings.

"My point is," Aaron said, looking back at Eric. "Just because it's not something you personally would enjoy on a date, Eric, doesn't mean it's not something Dar-... other people would enjoy."

Eric laughed and said something about how limited date activities were now that there weren't any cinemas or theaters or fancy restaurants around anymore, but I was hardly listening. I tried to step outside of myself and look at this objectively. If I was to plan anything for Daryl, would I have taken him to the cinema or the theatre or some kind of fancy restaurant even back when those things existed? Hell no. He'd have hated that. I'd have done something simple, something he was comfortable with, something just us two. Growing up never knowing where our next meal was coming from had meant food had always been a part of our friendship, so food would definitely be involved. Would hunting with him have been the perfect thing for both of us?

"You okay, Naomi?" Eric said. "You've gone very pale."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, but I felt breathless. And like my intestines had turned into a whole bunch of snakes. "I think he just wants to hang out like we used to, y'know? I gave him a pretty hard time for being all distant and weird with me for a bit. Maybe he just feels bad about it."

"Maybe," Eric said, nodding. I nodded back like a moron. Felt like I was trying to convince myself more than them. The floor felt like it was starting to tilt underneath me.

"Naomi," Aaron said gently. "We gotta go soon."

"Shit," I said. "Yeah. Yeah. Okay, gimme a sec."

I ran up the stairs like my heels were on fire. In the quiet of the shower, my heartbeat calmed down again. I'd let myself get too caught up in this and wished I'd never brought it up with Eric. It had been weeks since Daryl had even brought it up and hadn't mentioned it since. Surely, that was the best clue in the world that it had just been a casual, offhand comment. One I'd been holding onto like a weirdo for no reason. Unless… he was waiting for me to bring it up? But things in Alexandria had been so busy, there hadn't been time to. Why had this suddenly got so complicated? Things with Daryl used to be easy, even when nosey assholes like Eric and Sasha stuck their noses in. I switched the shower off and scrambled to get ready.

Dusk was falling. Stepping out of the house, Alexandria was the busiest I'd seen it in a long time. People were making their way out of their homes, chatting with each other as they went. It had been three weeks since Alexandria had been attacked. With the wall down, it hadn't been safe enough to congregate and mourn in a large group. Funerals had been quick, with those who weren't close to the dead missing it to guard the gap in Alexandria's defenses from any Walkers who came in. This had only added to the widening divide between the original Alexandrians and Daryl's group. If it got any bigger, I worried I'd slip through the cracks. But there was a shift now. The wall was back up. Peace was restored.

It had been years since I'd stepped inside a Church. The high walls and uncomfortable pews brought back even less comfortable memories. The shadows of the vaulted ceiling seemed to hold the whispers of my long-dead Momma, repenting for things she was doomed to repeat. I tried looking at the floor, but that was worse. My knees felt weak like they still held the memories of all the times I'd been forced to kneel beside her, praying for forgiveness for whatever it was I'd done that had driven Momma away and made her choose to get high over raising a family. The floor felt like it was sinking beneath me, and all the high ceilings in the world couldn't stop the walls from feeling like they were closing in on me.

And then I saw him. Just the back of his head, standing next to Rick and Michonne, the tip of his ear peeking out from under his mop of dark hair. It was enough to make me feel calm because I knew I was safe if Daryl was close.

Gabriel led us all in prayer. The names of the dead were read out one by one, stories were shared about each one. When night fell, we each silently held a lit candle, walking them from the Church down to the lake where the fight against the Walkers had ended. When this silent procession had first been suggested, I'd thought it sounded like a waste of resources. If the generator went down again, we'd need those candles. But emotions had been running high and, wishing to avoid another outburst at a town meeting, I'd held my tongue. I wound up being glad that I had.

Bathed in the light of a collection of individual candles, the factions that Alexandria had been slowly breaking into fell back together. Beside me, Eric leaned over and kissed Aaron on the cheek, their arms wrapped around one another. Further ahead of me in the crowd, I saw Carol lean her head on Tobin's shoulder. When they thought nobody else was looking, I caught Rick's fingers intertwine with Michonne's and the soft smile that played across her lips when it happened.

Daryl found me in the crowd. Stood next to me, his shoulder right up against mine. I looked at him, and he smiled. The light from his candle softened his eyes, and I felt such a rush of warmth that I was glad that this was a moment of silence because I don't know what I would have said to him otherwise. These small moments of peace were all any of us could hope for now. Shit could hit the fan tomorrow, but for now, we were safe, and we were healing.

Daryl

"Morning, Daryl," Rick said. "You hungry?"

He was chopping something up next to the sink. Michonne sat up at the breakfast bar, watching him. They'd glance at each other every now and then with these big, dumb smiles. Then they'd look away real fast like they thought none of the rest of us would notice. Whatever Rick was cooking smelt good, but I didn't much fancy sticking around while they acted like they were the only two people in the room. I dunno what had happened, or when exactly, but they couldn't take their eyes off each other. And it had been slowly getting more intense. I'd thought about bringing it up with Rick, but it seemed like they thought they were getting away with it, and I didn't want to burst that bubble just yet. They were both happier than I'd ever seen them. I didn't want to be the one to ruin it by drawing attention to it or putting any kind of pressure on them. More than anyone, I knew what that was like.

"Nah. I'm just, uh, heading out," I said. Rick and Michonne shared a smirk that they probably thought was a lot more subtle than it was.

"Tell Naomi we say hi," Rick said, picking up on Carol's dumb and embarrassingly long-running joke now that she wasn't here to do it herself. She was spending most nights at Tobin's these days.

"Tell her yourself," Glenn interrupted, coming in from the hallway. "She's here."

My heart almost stopped.

"Morning, all," Naomi said, following him in. She smiled around at everyone in that big, beaming way of hers.

"Morning," Michonne said. "You wanna stay for breakfast? Rick cooks the best eggs in Alexandria."

"Tried them all, have you?" Rick asked her with a grin. Then he looked at Naomi, "You're welcome to stay. I was just trying to convince Daryl to join us, and he's got no excuse now."

Another glance between Rick and Michonne that I'm sure they thought nobody noticed. Naomi glanced at me, trying to gauge what I might want to do. I shook my head as subtly as possible.

She smiled and said, "I've already eaten. Thanks, though."

"Glad you popped by," Glenn said to her, bending down to lace up his boots. "Been planning another run soon, and it would be good to have you on the team if you're up for it?"

"Love to," she said and seemed surprised that he'd thought of her. I was as proud as I was worried. I knew she'd made a good impression on him, but I hated her being out there, risking her life for some damn canned beans.

"I was planning on going on a short run today, actually," Rick said. "I was going to ask you to come, Daryl, but if you're…"

"Oh," Naomi looked mildly embarrassed. The tip of her nose went red. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…If you guys have plans or whatever, this isn't urgent."

"I can always go with you," Michonne said like the thought had just occurred to her.

Rick pretended to look surprised, "If you're sure?"

Glenn caught my eye, and we both did our best not to laugh.

"I'm sure I'm no substitute for Daryl," Michonne said. "But I can always tag along with Rick if you want to…"

She looked at Naomi. Everyone did. Only now realizing that they'd all just assumed that whatever she'd come over to say would be something that kept me busy all day. She might well just have come over to borrow some damn sugar. With everyone now staring at her, her panicked eyes slid over to me. "I was actually going to… but you can… if you like…?"

Nothing she'd said had been a complete sentence, but I got what it was she was trying to say immediately. She'd come over to ask me something but wanted me to know it was okay for me to go on a run with Rick if that's what I wanted to do.

"Nah, I'm good," I assured her. "Let's go."

"Okay," she said, still a little confused. I put my hand on her back and propelled her out of the house as fast as I could. When the door closed behind us, she turned to me and breathed, "What the hell was that?"

"It's been like that for a while now."

"Those two are definitely banging," she said, glancing back at the house. "Right?"

"Rick and Michonne? Oh yeah," I said. "But they think nobody knows, so let's just keep it that way for now, yeah?"

"Fine by me," she shrugged. "God, first Carol and Tobin, now those two, and maybe Sasha and Abraham… what is up with everyone lately?"

"Must be something in the water," I said.

"You pour something other than gasoline in the lake?" she teased.

"You got me," I raised my hands in mock surrender. Naomi laughed in that way that made me feel warm no matter the weather. "So, it looks like things are getting back to normal around here, huh?"

"I guess," she said, shooting me a slightly puzzled look. Like I might have said that before. Maybe I had. It was getting difficult to know what I'd said out loud and what I'd just thought about saying when I'd rehearsed these conversations in my head. "I was actually thinking of heading out again, maybe trying to get to that school I was talking about?"

"Oh," I said. I wished it was as easy to predict what real-Naomi was going to say, the one in my head always shut up when I needed her to. "That what you come to tell me?"

I appreciated that she was keeping her promise.

"Yeah," she said, and then she looked a little nervous. "And also… wanted to see if you felt like coming with me?"

"Oh," I hadn't been expecting her to ask.

"It's not that far, we could get there and back within a day," she said, getting a little flushed. I'd hesitated for too long, and now she looked like she was already regretting it. "But if you'd rather go on that run with Rick, it's totally fine. Don't worry about it. I can always ask-"

"No, no," I said quickly. I didn't really want to hear who else she might ask to go with her. "I'll come… I want to come."

"Okay," she said. Another big smile broke out across her face. I felt my own face do something similar like hers was contagious.

We got a car from Olivia, and I packed some food into the back of it. It was still early, so if scouting out this school didn't take very long, maybe there'd be time to stop for dinner. Just us.

"I'll drive," Naomi said. "You're in charge of the map."

"Fine," I said, knowing which fights were best to pick with Naomi and which were best left alone. I slipped into the passenger seat, and she handed me a folded up map from her bag. I unfolded it and spread it across my knee. "Dunno how I'm supposed to read it with all your damn scribbles all over it, though."

"You can read my damn scribbles fine," she said, keeping her eyes on the gates opening up in front of us. "You've proved that enough times."

She'd caught me out, and we both knew it. I wasn't mad. Just sat in the silence of the car, feeling that lurch in my stomach every time I caught sight of her. The gates of Alexandria closed behind us, and it really was just the two of us. It had been a while since there had been no other people lurking around. Realizing that, I didn't even have to look at her for my stomach to turn over. I looked back down at the map, tried to focus on that instead of how close she was.

"So, how come you want to try for the school?" I asked, trying to distract myself. "Not the factory?"

"Last time I tried the factory, I got run off the road," she said like I needed any kind of reminder of it. "School just seemed safer."

"Even though all of them Wolves are dead now?"

"We think they're all dead," she said. "Who knows if that's true?"

"It's true," I told her. "They're gone. They ain't coming back."

She nodded like she wanted to believe me, but I knew it would be a while before she stopped worrying about people coming to take her home.

"Left here, yeah?" she asked. She probably had all the routes memorized, but I checked anyway.

"Yeah."

I looked at the route. Looked at all the other routes she'd marked up too. She was right; I knew how to read her damn scribbles. I looked at the other familiar places, ran my finger down from where we were to where Aaron and I had gone the day before. Where I'd found a place that I wanted her to see. Somewhere I thought she'd like enough to take her there just the two of us. It wasn't too far from the route we were on.

"Er…" I cleared my throat. "There might be a shortcut down here, we could check it out on the way back."

"Why would we check it out on the way back?" she asked. "If it's a shortcut, we should try it now."

"Nah, but it might not be," I said quickly. "So we shouldn't waste any time on it now, but if we're done early then…"

"Let me see it?" she cut across my rambling, clearly smelling my bullshit.

"Nah, it's fine," I folded the map over. "Forget I said anything. Just… keep driving."

"Alright…"

She looked so puzzled I worried it would distract her enough to run the car off the road. Again. So I changed the subject. "What's the plan if we find this place?"

"Keep watch over it," she said. "See if there are any signs of life."

"And if there are?"

"Play it by ear, I guess," she said. "See if it's safe to approach."

I wasn't sure she'd be able to be objective about that if she thought there was a chance her sister was in there. But I wasn't too worried, I'd be there to hold her back if she needed it.

"How are your hands?" I asked her.

"Glad to be getting a break," she said, stretching out her fingers across the steering wheel and giving them a wiggle. "It's good that the farm plot is almost done."

"Yeah, for sure."

"I'm worried that our food stores are a little low," she said. "Not sure we'll have started planting crops in time to feed everyone through winter."

"Rick's worried about that too," I told her. "Think that's probably why Glenn is so keen to get another run in soon."

She nodded. "I think Alexandria is damn lucky to have a resident who knows how to hunt."

It was only when she looked at me and smiled that I realized she meant me. I smiled back. "Make that two."

Her eyes were back on the road, but I thought I caught a little blush moving up the side of her face. "How are you finding things now?"

"In Alexandria?"

"Yeah."

There was a tension in the way she asked, like my answer was something she'd been worrying about.

"It's alright," I said. "I ain't mad about it, but... there are people there worth sticking around for."

"Yeah?" she said. "You not still thinking about leaving?"

"Not without telling you," I said, watching her shoulders visibly relaxed. "And... Carl and Judith deserve a place like Alexandria. I don't want to say goodbye to them. Or... Rick, Carol, Glenn, Maggie... they're all family. Couldn't leave them."

Or you.

"Good," she said. "That's good. I just want you to be happy there."

I looked at her; hands all messed up from too much digging, the small patch of sunburn on her neck. The sunlight streaming through the window made her eyes look lighter than usual, but just as determined, dead set on finding and protecting the people she cared about. I knew how lucky I was to be counted as one of them. "Yeah, I'm getting there."

The silence between us was comfortable. I followed our journey we were taking on the map and thought about the one we'd already been on. The one we'd survived together as kids, the one that had torn us apart, the one that had pulled us back together again. A new one stretched out ahead of us. Wherever it went, no matter how many forks in the road there were, there was no way I would let either of us walk alone again.

"Just round the next corner," I said. "We should park here and walk."

She pulled over to the side of the road and tucked the car out of sight behind some trees. If anyone passed by on the road, they wouldn't see it. We walked the rest of the way, moving quietly between the trees and listening for sounds of Walkers as much as sounds of living people. Over a grassy verge and we came across the school.

High fences hid most of it from view, but it wasn't what I expected. It looked like a whole cluster of different buildings, with a wealth of open space between rooftops.

"Some fancy-ass school," I said.

"You ain't wrong," she muttered. It was quiet. No signs or sounds of life. For a moment, I was relieved. If nobody was here, this could be quick. Naomi sat down, got herself comfortable on the ground. "You hungry?"

"Starving," I said, sitting down next to her. I had been since we'd left.

"Should've taken Rick up on his breakfast offer, then," she said.

"What, and sit around while he and Michonne make all googly eyes at each other? I'd rather starve," I said.

"Googly eyes?" she repeated, laughing way too loud for someone who was meant to be staking out a potential new community. I prayed she didn't ask for any kind of demonstration of what that meant, didn't want either of us realizing that I looked at her the same way Rick looked at Michonne.

"Plus, I knew I was coming out here with the Queen of Snacks, so I thought I'd be fine."

"Well, lucky for you," she said, reaching into her bag. "You were correct."

She pulled out two apples and handed one to me. I bit into it, watched her turn hers over in her hands, and knew she was thinking about saying something else.

"I didn't bring anything… substantial, though," Naomi said. Her eyes were fixed on the road in front of us. "So, we could always go hunt something later. Just us... if that's still something you wanna do...?"

My heart leaped. I hadn't been sure she'd remembered me asking her. I'd been waiting until things in Alexandria calmed down. The farming plot was almost done, the wall was up, and the dead were buried. I guess things were as calm as they were going to get.

"Yeah," I said. "Actually, there's this-"

And then a frown flashed across her face.

"Sshh," she said, holding up a hand. My words caught in my throat. I swallowed them down and forced myself to listen. The sound of hooves on the road. Naomi shifted to a crouching position, peered through the gaps in the hedge in front of us. "Knew I'd seen a guy on a horse. I knew I weren't crazy."

"You're still crazy," I muttered. "You just weren't wrong about this."

"Shut up," she said, nudging me with her foot. "These could be the same assholes you blew up with the RPG."

"Those guys were pretty dead last time I checked," I pointed out. She rolled her eyes. "But it could be the same group, I take your point."

"No bikes, though," she said. "Although I guess you might've blown all them up too."

She pulled a familiar-looking pair of binoculars out of her bag and peered through them at the guys on horseback. "Those are Aaron's."

"Yeah, I know."

"He know you've got them?"

"Yes," she said. "Aaron let me borrow them. Don't think I stole them, do ya?"

"Wouldn't put it past you," I said. Naomi stuck her tongue out and then passed them over to me.

"They're just over there," she pointed. I trained the binoculars in the right direction. There were two guys on horseback, pulling an empty cart behind them.

"Where do you think they're going?" I asked.

"Looks like they're heading towards the school," she said.

"Cart's empty," I said. "Think they're picking something up?"

"Could be," she muttered. "Sure ain't bringing anything back. They migh-"

"Shh," I said. It was my turn to hold up a hand to shut her up. She stopped. Listened. I knew she heard it too. Her hand flew to a knife tucked into her belt loop. Footsteps in the undergrowth around us. I turned. Too late.

"Hands above your heads," someone demanded. From the bushes around us, four people emerged. My gun was in my hand, but I wasn't fast enough. Too many guns around us. By the time I'd clicked the safety off, they'd have been able to shoot us both dead. Naomi raised her hands.

"We ain't looking for trouble," she said.

One of them eyed the crossbow I was holding, undercutting Naomi's assurance that we came in peace. "Weapons down."

I thought about shooting them, putting up a fight, but Naomi had already surrendered everything she had on her. I couldn't risk her like that. I put my gun on the ground, watched one of them pick it up, and raised my hands above my head.

"Get them up," one of them yelled. "Bring them to the King."

Hands bound behind our backs, they hauled us to our feet. Naomi looked at me, whispered, "Did they say, King?"

I nodded. Her eyebrows shot up. Two of them grabbed me by my wrists, forced my hands behind my back. I heard her struggle as they did the same to her. They pushed us both forward, out onto the road. Closer to the school, I could hear the sound of kids playing and people talking. I knew Naomi heard it too, knew she was hoping that Mia might be one of them.

They took us in the same way as the cart. There were another few guards on the other side of the gate, looked surprised to see us with them. The one behind me said, "Get the King."

Two of them ran off as we were dragged around the back of one of the buildings, out of sight of whoever else lived here. If this was the King's army, they didn't want any civilians seeing that they'd taken prisoners. We were pushed in through a side door, walked into a high-ceilinged room. To the left were rows of red velvet theatre seats stretching back to another door where more guards stood by. The seats faced a stage that was on our right. Something in the center of it that looked like a throne. And nearby was a big, empty cage.

Where the fuck were we?

"Kneel," the guy behind me said. "Wait here."

We knelt down in front of the empty throne. Naomi looked up at it, I saw her take in the cage too. Was that where we were about to end up?

"Listen, guys," she said, trying to reason with them again. "You ain't gotta-"

"Naomi?"

Someone spoke from the back of the hall, and I felt her whole body tense beside me. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. Saw the relief break out across her face. She twisted where she was to get a good look. I heard the hurried footsteps of a guard rushing towards us from the door at the back of the hall.

"Don't shoot," he said. "I know her."

"Bryce!" she yelled.

I remembered the name.

My memory of that night was hazy in parts, but I remembered him. His annoyingly overly-concerned face butting in where it wasn't wanted. I remembered despising him more than I'd ever despised anyone before. I'd been drunk and too dumb to realize I was jealous. Naomi got her feet. I'd thought after that horrible night in her dorm room, she'd stopped hanging out with those assholes. But here she was greeting him like an old friend.

"Naomi," I hissed. "Get down."

She glanced down at me and whispered, "It's okay. We're going to be just fine."

"Guns down," Bryce said, and this time they listened. I got to my feet as Naomi ducked past them and ran towards him.

A dark twist of shame in my gut. After I was gone and left everything broken, was it Bryce who'd helped her pick up the pieces? Had me leaving just opened the damn door for him? I watched him pick her up and spin her around, lifting her feet right off the goddamn floor. Had he always been this tall?

"It's so good to see you," she said. I could hear a wobble in her voice even though it was muffled by his shoulder. This wasn't some one-year college friendship. They'd clearly stayed in touch, had some kind of history. She looked back at me. "This is Dar-"

"Yeah, I remember Daryl," he said, and he smiled, but it weren't a real smile. His eyes were cold. The shame of the first and only time I'd met him burned me up on the inside and stopped me from saying anything. Naomi looked nervously between the two of us. Bryce stuck his hand out to shake mine. "How are you?"

"Fine," I said, his grip was surprisingly firm. I tried to match it. He let go and looked back at Naomi.

Before he could say anything else, a loud and booming voice from the back of the room announced, "All kneel for King Ezekiel."

Naomi and I were forced back down onto our knees, turned toward the stage again. I could hear people walking behind us and what sounded like the rattle of a chain. They reached the stairs up to the stage. Beside me, I heard Naomi breathe, "Holy fuck!"

Her wide eyes tracked a tiger walking behind a man with greying dreads. A small cluster of people behind him, it was clear that this was the man who called himself King. I guess if you'd somehow tamed a tiger, why the fuck wouldn't you? I wondered if this was the guy that Dwight and Sherry had been running from when they took my shit. The guy they didn't want to kneel to anymore. I was damn sick of kneeling to him already.

He sat on the throne. The tiger paced beside him. She clearly smelled that we were new here and didn't know if she could trust our scent. The King looked at us both. "My soldiers tell me that you were caught trespassing on the outskirts of my Kingdom?"

"We didn't know it was your Kingdom, sir," Naomi said as politely as possible.

Bryce stepped forward. "I can vouch for them."

"Bryce," the King sounded pleasantly surprised. "You can vouch for their character?"

Bryce gave me a look. Like he had no idea about my character and didn't want to say out loud what kind of person he thought I was. But then he looked back at Naomi, and something changed.

"Yes," he said. I wished he hadn't. I wanted him to refuse to vouch for me so that I'd have a reason to turn to Naomi and tell her that this guy was a douchebag. But he didn't. He just said, "Yes, I can, Your Majesty."

"Pray, tell me how it is you are acquainted with these strangers?" the King asked.

"Naomi is an old friend," Bryce said with a warmth in his voice that made me want to set things on fire. "And Daryl is a friend of hers."

"Please, stand," the King told us. "It will not do to greet old friends in such a way."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," Bryce said. He sounded relieved. I got to my feet again, keeping my eyes on that damn tiger. Damn tiger was keeping her eyes on us too.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Naomi and Daryl. I am King Ezekiel," said the King. "Welcome to the Kingdom."

"Er…" Naomi looked dazed and confused. "Thank you…? Your Majesty."

"You look not as if you have come in search of food or shelter. Pray tell, how is it that you came to find my Kingdom?" he asked. We glanced at one another.

"I'm looking for my sister," Naomi said.

"Mia?" Bryce said. I hated how familiar he was with her name. How hopeful he sounded when he said it. "She's alive?"

Who the hell was he to know our little Mia?

"She was," Naomi said. "Someone took her. I've been trying to track other communities to see if they have her. That's how we found this place."

"She's not here," Bryce said, and he sounded so sad about it. "I'm so sorry, Naomi."

"It's okay," she said and fixed a smile on her face. "I thought you'd have mentioned by now if she was."

"You came here in search of your sister?" the King asked, leaning forward. Naomi faltered. That smile couldn't hide the sadness in her eyes.

"She's just a kid," I said so that Naomi didn't have to do all of the talking anymore. He looked at me now. "We're out looking for her is all. If you give us our shit back, we'll get out of your hair."

I wanted to get us both out of here as fast as possible and then forget we'd ever found it.

"How old is the child?" the King asked.

"Thirteen," Bryce and I said it at the same time, then looked at each other with equal surprise. Clearly, he knew our little Mia very well.

"You know the child, too?" the King asked him.

"Yes."

"That is good," the King said and looked back at Naomi. "My men will keep a lookout for her, under Bryce's guidance."

"Thank you, Your Majesty."

"You both appear to be clean and well-fed," he said, surveying us both. "But perhaps you would like to stay awhile. Dine with us?"

"Nah, we're good," I said. Naomi looked at me like she wanted to disagree. "We should be getting back…"

I stopped myself from naming the place or giving any kind of clue about where we'd come from. The King was looking mighty interested, and that did not escape my notice.

"Of course," he said. "Is there a place nearby that you call home?"

We hesitated.

"Yes," Naomi said. "We have a… community."

"A community?" he repeated, there was a glint in his eye. "My Kingdom has a plentiful bounty of crops, but we sorely lack other commodities. Do either of you speak on behalf of your community?"

"No," Naomi said. "We don't."

"From which direction do you hail?" the Kind asked. "Perhaps some kind of accord could be struck between our two lands."

I almost told him to go to hell there and then, but didn't because I could see Naomi was building up to something.

"If you don't mind, Your Majesty," Naomi said, after a slight pause. "I'd rather we didn't reveal that. At least, not until we've spoken to our people about it. There was… an attack on our community recently. Our people are still recovering, I don't want to bring more strangers to our gates unless I have to."

"Very well," the King said after some thought. "Very wise. Another time perhaps?"

"We'll speak to them about it," she said. "See if they're interested in making any kind of deal with you."

She looked at me, and I knew she was thinking about our dwindling food resources.

"Well then Naomi and Daryl," the King said. "I will grant you your leave. Do you need to borrow our horses?"

"It's okay," she said. "We got a car parked not far off."

"Can I get my shit back?" I asked, staring at the guy who'd taken my gun from me. He glanced at the King, waiting for his orders. The King nodded.

"See to it that our esteemed guests have their effects returned to them," said the King. "And give them safe passage back to their vehicle."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," Naomi said as her weapons were handed back to her.

I took mine, "Thanks."

The King bid us an elaborate farewell, and then Bryce walked us back out of the building. When we were a safe enough distance away, Naomi turned to him.

"Dude," she said. "What the hell?"

"Yeah, I know," Bryce looked mildly embarrassed. "It's a lot to take in at first, but he is a good leader."

"He has a fucking tiger," she said, then she turned to me. "You saw that too, right, I'm not insane?"

"I saw it," I said.

"Shiva is actually pretty chill," Bryce said. "Once she gets to know you."

"Shiva," Naomi repeated. "Great name. Maybe we should get a tiger."

If she expected me to say something, I didn't. I couldn't. I felt like I was shrinking more with every step we took.

"You sure you don't want to stay?" Bryce asked as our car came into view. "There's so much we have to catch up on."

I didn't say anything. I could tell that Naomi wanted to say yes. She looked at me. I looked away from her, feeling a little guilty that my desire to run from her friend was so obvious. Then she said, "No, we should get back before it gets late. Don't want people worrying about us or sending people out here looking for us. It could end badly. Another time, though?"

She stepped forward to hug him. I fixed my gaze on the handle of the car, counting down until I could open it and climb in again.

"Come back anytime," he told her. "There will always be a place for you here."

He very noticeably left me out of the invite.

"I'll visit soon," she promised and stepped forward to give him another hug. I fixed my gaze on the handle of the car, counting down until I could open it and climb in again. "Maybe once we've spoken to our people about it… you could come to us?"

Us. Like that invitation was somehow from me too. I hoped Bryce turned up when I was on gate duty so I could close it in his face and lock it forever. I hoped Rick and the others banned her from coming back here.

"I'd like that," he said and reached out to hug her again. How many damn hugs did one guy need?

"We gotta go," I said loudly. "Be dark soon."

"Alright," Naomi let go of him, frowned at me, and then looked back at Bryce. "It's been so good to see you."

I got in the car and slammed the door shut, so I didn't have to listen to his reply. A painfully long time later, her door opened, and she got in. She was all happiness and light, not like the resentment I'd been stewing in.

"I can't believe he's still alive," she said, all giddy and breathless. She waved at him through the back of the car, and he watched us drive off. I wished I'd sat in the driver's seat so I could reverse back into Bryce and his dumb, tall face.

"You wanna check out that short cut?" she asked.

"No," I snapped and didn't say anything else. The drive back was silent and moody. I knew it was my fault. She tried to start several conversations, and I barely responded to any of them. The pit of anger in my stomach was too loud, and I worried if I said anything, it would come out as jagged and sharp as I was feeling. When we dropped the car back off, I got out and slammed the door. She looked at me then, and I knew she'd reached the end of her tether with me.

"What's up?" she sighed.

"Nothing."

"Daryl…"

"Thought you weren't friends with any of them assholes?" I said.

"What assholes?"

"Them ones from your school."

"That's what this is about?" she said incredulously. "Yeah, most of them bailed after… that night, but not Bryce. He stuck around. We had a lot of the same classes, too. We both moved to D.C after we graduated…"

She trailed off, catching some kind of look on my face that I hadn't been quick enough to hide. That picture in my head of her and Mia tucked up reading in some apartment somewhere suddenly had Bryce in it too. All tall and annoying. Living the life I should've been living. If I hadn't been so damn stupid. "You move out there together?"

"No," she said. "I moved out there straight after school and got Mia the second I got a job. He came out about a year after. Got a job editing this real boring politics journal."

"Ain't you gotta be smart for that kind of thing?" I said. She gave me a warning look like I was close to crossing some kind of line. But it was too late, I was way beyond that. "Didn't know they hired dumb jocks."

"Bryce ain't dumb," she said. It was somehow worse that he was smart. Like her. She narrowed her eyes at me. "What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Then quit judging people you don't know," she snapped.

"I just think you could do better," I told her.

"Better than what?" she said. I didn't answer. I didn't know how to. "Bryce is my friend. And a good guy."

"So you say," I muttered.

"Yeah, so I say," she said. "He's my friend, so I would know."

"Sure."

There was a silence where I could feel her looking at me. Feel her annoyance radiating out from her. And then something changed. She took a breath. "Daryl. Are… are you jealous?"

"No," I said. But I was. And the white-hot flash of anger up my spine was just proof of it. I kicked a rock on the road and watched it bounce off a nearby tree, wishing it was Bryce's stupid, tall head.

"Daryl," she said. Suddenly so damn amused. I didn't want to look at her in case I started yelling even though I wanted to. I really wanted to. "You're being real silly about this."

"How's that?" I snapped.

"Bryce and I were close, but… you'll always be my best friend," she said like it was the most obvious thing in the whole world. It calmed and hurt me all at once. I wanted to be the closest person to her always, but I also wanted so much more than what we currently had. She nudged me, her elbow knocking into mine. I looked at her, and she looked back with a frown like she couldn't believe how dumb I was being. "You gotta know that by now, right?"

"I guess," I said.

"Anyways, Mia already vetoed Bryce being my best friend."

"How's that?"

She gave me a little half-smile "Bryce said something in his wedding vows-"

"Bryce is married?" I interrupted.

"Was," she corrected me. "Andrew didn't make it."

I felt like an ass.

"Sorry," I said immediately. The anger was quickly dissolving, and underneath, there was nothing but shame. I think she knew that.

"It's okay," she said quietly, but I could tell she was still trying to assess me. Work out what had caused me to be such an ass in the first place.

"Were you guys close?"

"Me and Andrew?" she said. I nodded. Her nose wrinkled while she thought about it. "Kind of… but only because he was so important to Bryce. He came from money, had a lot of it, too. It could be hard to find common ground with him sometimes, y'know?"

I nodded because I did know. I just didn't know she struggled with that too. She made it seem pretty effortless.

"Bryce's wedding vows were all about how happy he was to be marrying his best friend. So, Mia said that meant he couldn't be mine. She got it in her head that all grown-ups marry their best friends," she smiled like it was silly, but it was the first thing I'd heard anyone say about marriage that made sense to me. People leave all the time. Hurt you when they're supposed to love you. Why the hell would you promise yourself forever to someone unless you knew they were the kind of person who'd stick around? Even if you fight sometimes. Even if you'd been an ass. Someone who could look past all of that if you really needed it. Like coming to your dad's funeral even if you weren't talking anymore.

"Sounds like a good theory to me," I said, and I felt my ears get hot. I kept focusing on the ground.

"I dunno, man, she was about eight," she said. "She'd been to one wedding and then seen too many others on TV. Not sure she's the best person to be dishing out relationship advice."

There's a lot of shit I think kids get right before your brain gets fucked up with all the bullshit that comes with being an adult. This felt like one of them. When I was eight, I'd learned that Naomi was the kind of person who'd share a stolen sandwich with a boy she'd just met, even though it was all she had, and I'd decided that she was the kind of person I wanted to stick around with as long as she'd let me. That had never stopped being true. If anything, it had only gotten more true over time.

"How else are you supposed to know someone's the right one for you?"

"Think that's what dating is for," she shrugged. "Although I probably ain't the right person to be dishing out relationship advice either."

My stomach all twisted into knots. "Waste of time if that person ain't right for you, though."

"Do you think there's only one person out there for everyone?" she said.

"No," I said. "Not for everyone. But if you're going to spend your life with someone, it's gotta be someone you can trust. Someone who has your back. Someone who… gets you, you know?"

"I guess…" she said, and I knew by the tone in her voice that she'd have that little frown on her face. I wanted so badly to look at her, could feel her looking at me, but I knew I'd only gotten this far because I wasn't looking at her.

How the hell do people do this?

"Did you know Eric and Aaron were friends first?" I blurted out. "Before they… y'know. Dated."

"No," she said. "I didn't know that."

I forced myself to look at her. For the first time in a very long time, she was looking at me like she didn't know me. Like she couldn't predict what I was going to say next or where any of this was going. It scared her a little, but she didn't move away. This wasn't the date I'd had planned for her, wasn't the one Aaron had helped me set up, but maybe that could wait. This was as good a time as any.

"Naomi, I-"

"Daryl!" Rick's voice cut across me from the front porch of a house that wasn't ours. As far as I knew, it had been all but empty until Morgan had decided to build some kind of jail in it. "Been looking for you all day, man. Get over here."

What now?

I glanced at Naomi, started walking over there. She followed. "What's up, Rick?"

"We've got our first prisoner," he said. "Calls himself Jesus."

Naomi raised her eyebrows so high they almost disappeared into her hair. As we followed Rick into the jail cell, she looked at me and muttered, "If this is the start of some sorta cult, I'm out of here."