More Than This

by Graveyard Whispers

Naomi Payton was Daryl Dixon's childhood best friend. In truth, they were each others only friend. But sometimes growing up means growing apart and when Naomi's ambitions and Daryl's loyalty to his brother drive a wedge between them, will the world falling apart be enough to bring them together again? Hell, will they even find each other again?

45. Smoke and Swamps

Naomi

If Simon was surprised to see me, it didn't show. A broad and horrible smile spread across his face. The same kind of smile he'd had when Negan gave him permission to beat me, a starving hyena who'd spotted fresh meat. A fence and a gate stood between us, but I still tensed like I was getting ready for a fight, to hit and get hit. I wasn't used to holding a conversation with Simon for more than about ten seconds without him either beating me or threatening to.

From the lookout post by the gates, I scanned the faces around Simon. A large enough crowd, but not as many people as I'd expected. Dark had fallen now, and they were backlit by the headlights of their trucks, making it hard to get a good look at their faces. I recognized a few. Some of them were workers Dwight and I had tried to stir up rebellion in. Had they picked up guns by choice, or had the Saviors forced everyone who was able to fight us? If we'd turned them once, could we turn them again?

There were some faces I didn't think I'd seen before, but the way they stared up at us made it feel like they recognized me. Or at least knew who I was.

A gust of wind moved the leaves of the trees around Alexandria - the world taking the breath I was holding in as I scanned the faces, again and again, to confirm what I already knew but couldn't dare to believe.

Negan wasn't there.

Given the state I'd left him in, it shouldn't have been a surprise, but Negan had dominated and controlled so much of my life for so long that I'd half-expected him to rise up. In a world where nothing really dies anymore, it was hard to believe that evil would be the exception.

But no, I was getting ahead of myself. Another face was missing from the crowd. Dwight.

Gavin and Arat were missing too, but if Rick was right and the Saviors planned on hitting every community simultaneously, there was a strong chance they were elsewhere. An equally strong possibility that Dwight would be with them, but somehow that didn't feel quite right. He'd been communicating with Alexandria; surely, he'd try and position himself here. He was still our ally, right?

If he's still alive.

If Negan was dead, it would be easy for the rest of the Saviors to put the pieces together and assume I acted alone. Nobody would know that Dwight stood over Negan as he bled out and told me to run because Daryl had launched a goddamn truck into the Sanctuary walls. But if Negan had lived, well, there's no way he'd have let Dwight live too.

So, where was he?

Where were they?

It was hard to imagine a reality in which both of them were still breathing. For Simon to be the one to show up in Alexandria meant that he was the one running the show, at least for now, but it was no guarantee that Negan was dead.

"Well, well, well," Simon said. "Look who we've got here. Thought you'd be smarter than to show your face for a while. You got a lot to answer for, little lady."

"Where's Negan?" I asked.

"I'm Negan."

The response was so achingly predictable that I almost rolled my eyes. "Cut the crap. Is he dead?"

"You better watch how you talk to me, you mouthy little bitch."

"You better watch how you talk to her, asshole," Daryl snapped back. "I got a bullet with your name on it."

The anger that came out of Daryl was so powerful it took even me by surprise. For the first time since we'd got up here, I looked over at him. Sometimes when Daryl gets mad, he fidgets and paces because he doesn't have a direction to channel all that rage. This wasn't one of those times. He was tense, the muscles in his jaw set, and his eyes focussed on Simon with the kind of stillness I was only used to seeing from him when he was hunting. If Simon didn't tread carefully, he ran the risk of Daryl blowing his head off, which I didn't have any major objections to but might throw a spanner in our plans. If we set off an exchange of gunfire too early, Rick might not be able to get the decoy convoy out safely.

I reached out to Daryl, my fingers brushing against his wrist, hidden from view by the top of the wall. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and calm him down, remind him that no matter what Simon had done to me, I was okay; I was home. But stopping a high-stakes negotiation for a quick cuddle with your boyfriend doesn't put you in a powerful position for that negotiation. So, I had to settle a brief of touch and monitoring Daryl out of the corner of my eye. A sharp exhalation through his nose, a gentle relaxing of his jaw.

I hoped it was enough and focussed on Simon, "Did you goons drive all this way just to stare at us, or do y'all want something?"

The anger and annoyance that Simon barely kept a lid on at the best of times flickered across his face. He glowered up at me. "Since you pricks destroyed our home, we're looking for a new one."

"Can't help you with that," I said. "Alexandria's full."

Another flicker of rage, and I almost flinched. I remembered the way he'd looked at me after I'd tried to kill him during my first few days in Sanctuary. The rage. The way it melted into glee as he beat me into unconsciousness.

"Is that right?" he said.

"Yup," I nodded. "Sorry you came all this way for nothing."

Simon bristled. The men around him stayed silent, but they all looked at him. If this was him throwing his hat in the ring to take over from Negan, he had a lot to prove.

"You owe us a home," Simon said, swinging a machine gun down from where it had been slung over his shoulder and holding it in both hands. Beside me, Daryl's grip on his own gun tightened. He shifted closer, gaze still laser-focused on Simon.

"We don't owe you shit," I said.

"We don't see it that way."

"Well, I don't see how that's my problem," I said with a shrug.

"Then let me break it down for you," Simon said. "You destroyed the place we live, so now you owe us-"

"I didn't destroy shit," I reminded him. "We both know where I was when all that went down. I was with all y'all, and I got out fine, so what's your excuse?"

I knew instantly I'd pushed him too far. I'd gotten so used to facing off against Negan that the unpredictability of Simon put me on edge. Negan had a code of ethics - a fucked up code of ethics - but at least one I could figure out and workaround. I hadn't yet figured out Simon's deal well enough to toe the line between negotiating and antagonizing him. Seemed to me like Negan had a plan; Simon acted on impulse, which was harder to fight.

"You got two options," he snapped. "Either you all file out of here, and we can talk about who we can shoot and who's free to go and find a new place to live out the rest of their days."

They were getting ready to make a move against us - a steady ripple of activity amongst the Saviors. A few clicks of shut-off safety catches on loaded rifles. There hadn't been enough time for the decoy to get in place. I needed to walk this back a little.

What's taking so long, Rick? Hurry up.

"C'mon, man, there are kids in here," I said. "Families. Surely we can talk about some other options."

"Tough shit. There are kids at Sanctuary. Families too," Simon said. "You know that, you're more than familiar with the Sanctuary. You think about any of them before you flooded the place with meat puppets?"

"Like I said. I didn't have anything to do with that."

"No," he admitted, and then his horrible gaze slid over to Daryl. "Your boyfriend did, though."

Shit.

All attention now focussed on Daryl. Had the rest of the Saviors gathered here known that he was the one who'd let the Walkers in? I bit back the urge to tell Daryl to run. I wanted him to take shelter in the sewers with Mia and Perla, stay somewhere he was safe. But I knew he was as likely to agree to something like that as I was, so I hadn't wasted my breath trying to argue him down there. We'd promised to fight things together from now on, but it's hard to switch off that impulse to shield someone you love from everything.

"You gonna apologize for driving a truck through our walls?" Simon asked him, taking a step forward. "Or you gonna stay silent and let your bitch bark for you?"

"I already told you," Daryl snarled. "Watch your damn mouth."

Simon laughed. It was a laugh I recognized. Cold amusement at finding a weak spot he could exploit. He knew if Daryl shot first, it would give them all permission to fire back, to storm Alexandria before we were ready. Every dig at me inched Daryl closer and closer to taking a shot. Everyone there could see it, and outing him as the one who'd let the Walkers in would only prime them to shooting back.

"Hey, asshole," I called, trying to take the heat off Daryl. "Sure we can't come to some kind of agreement over this?"

"I've already told you your options: fight us, and all of you will die, surrender, and only most of you will die."

"That don't seem fair."

"You and your boyfriend and the rest of your little buddies got shit to answer for with my people. So we'll be taking you in, and we will not show you the kind of hospitality you were lucky enough to get before. Everyone else is free to leave Alexandria, make their own way in the world. As long we don't see their faces around here again, they'll be just fine. We've got you surrounded, so you best decide fast."

Surrounded?

Shit.

Unless he was bluffing, that meant he had people stationed right where the convoy was supposed to bust out. How many of them? What were they armed with? I couldn't react too much, or else he'd know there was something amiss.

"You'd kick all of these innocent people out?" I pressed on. Any surrounding Saviors would have to be more heavily armed or greater in numbers than the group at the gates to stop our convoy. They could still cause them trouble, though. "All of them? Even the kids?"

"They can find someplace else," Simon shrugged.

"Sending them out into the woods without a place to shelter from Walkers is as good as a death sentence," I said. "You know that."

"Well, I don't see how that's my problem."

He was smug now. He thought he had me. The Saviors watching on looked like they agreed with him. None of them flinched at the thought of sending children out to fend for themselves in Walker-filled woods. "Is that what Negan wants?"

"Yes."

"Or is it what you want, Simon?"

"I told you; I am Negan."

"Nah, you ain't," I said. "I don't think Negan would want this. Not at all. I seem to remember Negan wanting us to work for him."

"Well, that's changed, sweetheart. You changed that."

"Bullshit."

"Is that what you think?"

"Uh-huh. Negan knows that people are a resource. He might want me dead, want Daryl dead; Rick, Michonne, Maggie, Glenn, the King… Make examples of all of us; I could see that…" I said. "But all of the people here? All of those people that could grow crops for you, gather supplies for you… I find it hard to believe Negan would want them dead."

"Why should I care what you believe?"

I heard the quiet rumble of engines starting in the distance, and I tried not to let my relief show.

This is it.

They're ready.

"Because I think you're lying," I said. I said it loud, partly to cover the sound of engines and because I wanted to make sure the rest of the Saviors could hear me. If Negan was dead and there was a power vacuum to be filled, I wanted to keep Simon out of that space. "And I don't think it's only me you're lying to. I think you're lying to your people, too."

"You don't know what you're talking about. Best if you just shut up."

"Negan's dead," I said. It was a bold swing, but I knew we only had a matter of minutes left before Rick and the others burst out of the back of Alexandria, and all Hell broke loose. I wanted to push an answer out of him before that happened. There was a crooked smile at the corner of Simon's mouth. I didn't know him well enough to know if it was because I'd guessed correctly or made a fool of myself. "This isn't about us, or Alexandria, or even what happened to the Sanctuary."

"Is that right?" Simon laughed like I was deluded, but there was no genuine laughter in his eyes.

"This is all about you trying to get your grubby hands on some of Negan's power," I said. "But you ain't him, and you don't understand what it takes to be him, either. You need people to work for you."

"We don't need you."

"You need people. You're right. I am more than familiar with the Sanctuary. I've seen enough to know your soil ain't shit. Sure as hell ain't gonna produce enough food for everyone you got there," I said. Simon shook his head, but the truth had hit all of them. I focused on those I recognized as workers. Farmers who knew everything I said was the truth. "When the food runs out, who are you going to trust to ration it out? Simon? You think he's going to feed your kids?"

"We don't need Alexandria," Simon said. He couldn't argue the point, so he was moving the goalposts. "We've got the Kingdom and the Hilltop for all that. Alexandria ain't worth the trouble."

"If you commit a massacre here and you'll turn every last one of us into martyrs. Wouldn't be surprised if it turned some of your own people against you."

"You think too highly of yourself."

"No, I just think better of people," I said. "What's more, so did Negan. He knows when to kill and when not to. He knows how to build, and all you know is how to destroy. He's smart, you ain't. I can see it. Sooner or later, the rest of these folks will see it too."

"Alright, enough now," Simon tried to shut me up, motioning to some of his men. They moved, but I thought I saw a slight hesitation, and that spurred me on. Simon didn't like what I was saying, so I must've been saying something right.

"Negan knows the value of lives," I called out to them. "Even ours. Ain't that why you call yourselves 'Saviors'? You keep following this asshole down his destructive little path, and y'all are gonna wind up with nothing. You ain't gonna-"

I never got to finish. The steadily increasing roar of engines inside Alexandria that I had been shouting to cover-up reached a peak, and there was an almighty crash. They'd broken through the wall on the far side of Alexandria.

It took me by surprise. I was so caught up in yelling at Simon that I was slow to react.

Simon swore, yelled something to his men. I heard a smattering of gunfire before I realized what it was. A hand on my wrist pulled me down and out of the way. I almost hit the floor. I would have if a pair of arms hadn't caught my shoulders on the way down.

"You okay?" Daryl's voice was low in my ear. I heard another boom, felt it shake something close by. The Saviors were firing something powerful over the wall.

"Yeah," I said.

"We gotta move," Daryl nudged me toward the stairs. As I turned to climb the ladder, I caught sight of him firing over the top of the wall and ducking down again as the sound of return fire intensified.

"Daryl!" It was so loud I had to shout over the din.

"Almost got the bastard," he grumbled, and I could see he was thinking about

"Time for that later," I reminded him. I had to yell over the burst of noise and gunfire. "C'mon."

I didn't start climbing down again until I saw him reluctantly move toward me, and then I went as fast as I could. I looked up, saw Daryl's feet swing over the top. The ground shook again with several nearby explosions, and I slid down the last few rungs. The heat of the flames seared my skin, smoke rising up into the air and burning the inside of my nose as I waited for Daryl. His feet hit the ground, and his hand grabbed mine.

We ran. It would've been faster for us to split up. In fact, the plan had been to run through Alexandria and set off the smoke bombs we'd placed strategically around the town separately and meet back up in the sewers. But the Saviors were firing rapidly now. The sky lit up with balls of fire raining down on us. Houses exploded in smoke and flames every time they got hit, and there was no way of knowing which one was about to be hit next.

Letting go of him and splitting up might have been faster, but it didn't feel safer. And aside from all of that, I don't think either of us wanted to.

We kept our heads low as we ran from one smoke bomb to another. Across Alexandria, people who'd been lying in wait for this moment set off even more. Somewhere behind us, the gate shook as they tried to break through it. Daryl and I looked at each other. There were a couple more to go, and by the sounds of things, we had seconds before the Saviors made it through. Their bombs were doing half our job for us. If they got in here, it would be hard for them to navigate their way through all of this smoke and flames. There's no way they'd spot the last of us making it down to safety.

It was Daryl who made the final decision. "We gotta go," he yelled over the almighty crash of the gates breaking open. I nodded, felt his hand tug me toward the nearest entrance to the sewers. He hauled the cover open and stepped back, motioning for me to get down first. I didn't argue because there wasn't time to, but we both knew I wanted to.

It was dark down there in a way that really made me appreciate how light nighttime in Alexandria had been. After the brightness of the flames tearing through the houses, it was hard to pick out anything in the gloom. Daryl pulled the cover closed after himself, and there was a second where the darkness was too thick to see anything. I heard Daryl's feet on the metal ladder, the booms and crashes from above. Then my eyes started to adjust, and I could see figures huddled together.

"Naomi!" Mia's frightened voice rose out of the dark, and then one of the people huddled on the floor stood up. She ran toward us.

"Hey," I reached out for her. Another figure she'd been beside, small enough to be Perla, stood up after her but didn't come any closer. "We've gotta be quiet now. They're in."

The message passed along the line of people there, radiating out from the ladder we'd climbed down and rippling through the sheltering Alexandrians. Mia let go of me and hugged Daryl while I tried to do a general headcount. It looked like Daryl and I were the last to make it back. Everyone else who'd been setting off smoke bombs was here. Now, all there was to do was wait.

I hate waiting. It's worse than fighting. We found a space near Perla and Lucas, and settled down. Nobody talked much as the sound of the Saviors yelling to one another passed by overhead. Getting caught down here, a whole town huddled together like this was a death sentence, and nobody wanted to take any chances of being heard.

The longer we were down there, the more accustomed to the dark I became. I could make out faces, tense expressions. Lucas lay slumped on the wall opposite me, Perla sitting by his side. I tried to smile at him but noticed that his eyes were closed. He wasn't reacting to any of the noises from above. He looked dead.

"Perla, get over here," I said quickly, grabbing her arm and pulling her over to our side of the tunnel. After so long without anyone speaking, I made her jump.

"What? Why?" she panicked but did as she was told. I kept her and Mia behind me as I slowly approached Lucas. Pale skin. Sweat.

"You okay?" Daryl whispered, noticing what I was doing. I nodded because I didn't want to worry the girls, but all of my attention was on Lucas. If he died and turned down here without anyone noticing, it wouldn't take the Saviors to massacre us.

I got closer. Saw his chest rise and fall, and felt a tightness ease up in my own. I reached out, touched the clammy skin on his neck. Found a pulse. His eyes fluttered open.

"Is everything…?" he was groggy, confused. "Do we need to move yet?"

"No, no, it's fine," I whispered back. "Go back to sleep. Everything's okay."

He nodded and closed his eyes again. I crawled back to where I had been. Perla and Mia had been watching anxiously.

"Is he going to be okay?" Perla asked.

"Yeah, yeah, he'll be fine," I said, putting an arm around her shoulders. "It's good for him to get some rest."

She nodded and believed me because she needed to. Perla rested her head on my left shoulder. To my right, I looked over Mia's head to Daryl. Wordlessly, we exchanged the same worry about Lucas making it through the night. All we could do was keep an eye on him. Keep the kids at a distance if he got any worse.

More terrible waiting. Explosions shook the walls. We listened to feet and voices overhead.

An echo carried through the tunnels, and everyone reached for the weapons they had on them. Footsteps. The air in the tunnel felt heavier. It bristled, listening for a threat.

"It's us," Rick's voice carried ahead of them. He was leading Michonne and Rosita and the others who'd been part of the convoy back to us. A collective sigh of relief and the group rounded the corner toward us. Nothing but shapes at first, and then they drew closer, and we could see their faces. We could see that it wasn't just them.

There was one extra face there, and it was the last one I expected to see. I got to my feet. "Dwight?"

Dwight was alive. What did this mean for the Saviors? He looked back at me with something that might have been relief. It shouldn't have been. I felt ready to punch him for what he'd done to Lucas.

"Aw, hell no," Daryl pushed past me before the shock of it settled in. Rick took a tactical step in front of Dwight and raised his hands. It didn't stop Daryl from getting up in his face instead. "The hell is he doing down here?"

Daryl's anger bounced off the walls, echoed down the tunnels. I put a hand on his arm.

"We can't do this now," I reminded him. "We gotta stay cool, stay quiet, so they don't find us."

Daryl looked at me, and his jaw clenched.

"What's the point in staying quiet when this asshole's down here?" he said, but he muttered it quietly. "Probably just waiting to slip off and tell them where we are."

"He's offered to help us, Daryl," Rick said, close to losing his cool, too.

"And you believe him?" Daryl's tone made it clear he thought Dwight was a fucking idiot.

"Hey, hey," I said, trying to keep them both calm. I was acutely aware that Mia and Perla were just behind us. That an unconscious Lucas might be seconds away from waking up to find he was trapped in the same confined space as his attacker. "Let's move this away a bit, yeah?"

I herded them back down the tunnel in the direction they'd come from and around the corner.

"Naomi, you know me," Dwight said, a little desperately and not daring to look at Daryl. "You know I ain't gonna cross you."

I didn't have time for this and wasn't about to vouch for him. I was so conflicted over how I felt about him. There were more urgent questions to deal with, "What happened to Negan?"

"He's alive. But, barely."

"Then… how are you…?"

"He can't talk," Dwight said. "Not sure if he'll ever be able to talk again. He's been in and out of consciousness, so he ain't had time to point the finger at me."

"So, Simon's acting on his own?"

"Negan had talked about his plan if we got out, so he can't deviate too much from that, but he wants to. Any excuse to annihilate Alexandria or the Hilltop or the Kingdom… he'll take it."

"He's in charge?"

"For now. And, to be honest, I don't think Simon wants Negan to make it. He wants to run the place, and I wouldn't be surprised if he finished what you started, made it look like an accident."

"Why didn't you finish it?" Daryl asked, eyes narrowed and fixed on Dwight. "Sounds like you had the chance to finish him off. You were the only other one in that room except for Naomi."

"Not for long enough," Dwight said. "It wasn't long after she left that more Saviors arrived. He was bleeding out, already unconscious. I didn't think there was much to lose from letting them in. Didn't want to direct them away in case they got Naomi before she got out. I'm real glad you got okay, by the way. I wasn't sure-"

He looked right at me then. It seemed sincere.

"Don't look at her," Daryl snapped. "Don't talk to her."

"Daryl," I warned him quietly. "Now ain't the time."

He looked at me like he wanted to argue back, but thankfully Rosita stepped forward and tried to get the conversation back on track. "Dwight said that the Hilltop's safe. They won't attack there, right?"

"Yeah," Dwight nodded, dropping his eyes to the floor as Daryl continued to stare daggers at him.

"We need to get everybody there," Rosita said as more bombs fell overhead, shaking the walls. It was a sensible suggestion. Everything here felt confined and unstable.

"If they think all of you got away in the woods," Dwight said. "Then they're out there looking."

"They saw us go West," Rosita countered. "So we won't go West."

"Your best chance is to stay here until they're gone."

"Nah," Daryl said. "They find us here; we're dead."

"They're almost gone. They gotta be," Dwight said. "It wasn't about destroying the place. They don't have the ammo for that. After they let up, after they're gone, that's when we go."

The air bristled again, and I wondered if anyone was about to object to Dwight's use of 'we.' Rosita glossed over it, "Okay. We wait."

"We wait," Rick agreed. Something in his voice made Daryl's anger flare up again. He glared at Dwight.

"How'd they get out?" he asked. "Was it what I did?"

I hadn't thought about it that way. I'd managed to get out because of what he'd done. Had the Saviors managed to find a way out that way too? There'd been so many Walkers streaming in that it felt like there was only a tiny window before escape became impossible. But maybe not.

"Eugene," Dwight answered but didn't expand. Didn't explain any further. I heard Rosita's sigh of bitter disappointment and betrayal. "I can still help you. I want you to win. I want Negan to die. We can settle up after."

"You want Negan dead; you should have finished it," Daryl said. He reached out before any of us could react. I thought he was about to punch him in the face, but he grabbed the vest on Dwight's shoulders, the one Dwight had stolen from him in the first place, and yanked it off him. He pulled it over his own shoulders and turned his back on Dwight. It was good to see him back in those angel wings again. I remembered being trapped in a dark cell with Dwight, feeling that vest and longing just to be back with Daryl. As Daryl brushed past Rick, he muttered, "You're a fucking dumbass for bringing him here."

Daryl stalked off back down the tunnel. I saw Rick flinch. I hated this; I hated that there was such a divide between Daryl and someone he loved. Rosita and Dwight followed shortly after, but I hung back.

"He'll come round," I said quietly. Rick looked up at me, surprised either by my words or that I was still here.

"You think?" he said. "He's still pretty mad at me."

"He only holds a grudge this long with people he really cares about."

"You saying I should take it as a compliment?"

"No. Just… I know he can say a lot of dumb shit when he's mad, but he'll cool off," I said. "You mean a lot to him."

"Well, I appreciate having you on my side," Rick said. "Feel like that might help speed the whole thing up."

"I'll see what I can do, but no promises."

"Alright," Rick smiled and started to make his way back around the corner.

"Hey, Rick?" I called him back quietly.

"Yeah?" he turned.

"I'm really glad he found you guys. You see him for who he is… who he really is. Not a lot of folks get that. I'm real glad it was you he met out here. I can't tell you what it means that he found a family in all this."

"He's a good guy."

"He's the best of us."

I almost reminded him that if he hurt Daryl again, he'd have both of us to reckon with, but that felt like too threatening a note to leave the conversation on. Daryl's family was important to him, and this rift with Rick needed mending. Daryl needed it.

I walked back to where Daryl had sat down opposite Lucas again. Mia and Perla were sitting further away with Carl and Judith. They were trying to distract themselves from what was going on. Mia braided Judith's hair, and Perla was trying to convince Carl to let her braid his, too. Daryl caught my eye, and he did not smile.

The din above us was dying down. There were still people up there, but it seemed like Dwight was right, and they were easing their attack. If they thought we'd gone, empty houses weren't worth wasting ammunition on.

"Are you sure going to Hilltop is the best plan?" Dwight asked.

"You got a better one?" Rosita snapped.

"All of you in one place, together…" Dwight was looking around at all of us, a little worried. I knew what he'd see - frightened people huddled together. Kids. Injured and tired fighters. He didn't see the family that we all saw. People that we'd kill for, die for. Our strength came from one another.

"All of us. Together," Daryl said. There was such strength in his voice, and as his gaze shifted over to me, it only seemed to grow. "We'll be their worst damn nightmare."

Daryl

We knew they'd try to destroy the place, but the ruins of Alexandria were still hard to take in the cold light of day.

Fires had died down but were still burning, flames clinging to the timbre skeletons of what had once been houses. Naomi came to a stop beside me. Neither of us had spoken since we'd climbed out of the sewers to search for any lingering Saviors. I hadn't wanted her up here with me in case they were still here and had just gone quiet, but the moment I'd offered to go check, she'd gotten to her feet. I didn't argue with her, partly because I knew it was pointless but also because I was getting used to getting through tough shit together. I didn't like her being in danger, but I loved having her by my side.

We'd done a complete circuit of Alexandria and taken in the damage. We hadn't seen or heard any Saviors. The gates were broken open, and the road was clear of their vehicles.

"Looks like they're gone," she said.

"Yeah," I agreed. I couldn't really see it as a victory, not with the ashes around us, the smoke in the air, and so far still to go. "You okay?"

She'd said she'd been okay with Alexandria burning. Saying it's one thing, seeing it is another. Naomi nodded, "Yeah."

It had been a long damn night. There was a long day ahead of us. Standing here with her, in the quiet, wasn't exactly nice, but it was peaceful. Fresh air in a claustrophobic twenty-four hours. We'd need to head back down soon, but any moment I could take with just the two of us gave me what I needed to keep going until the next one.

I wanted to get moving, get everyone to the Hilltop, but I didn't want to go back down there yet. Not with Dwight's damn face lurking in the shadows. I didn't like him. Didn't like that he'd acted like he knew my girl like they were friends or some shit. I knew what that son of a bitch was capable of. What he'd done to me. What he'd probably done to her, too.

"You really okay with Dwight being here?" I asked her.

"He's got nowhere else to go," she said, which didn't really answer my question. I knew I'd need to be more direct.

"Those bruises on ya," I said. Naomi turned her head to look at me then. I felt terrible for bringing it up, but I needed to know, or I wouldn't be able to go down there again. "Any of them come from Dwight?"

"He saved my life," she said.

"That ain't what I asked."

She sighed. I wanted to sigh right back but didn't want to start a fight, so I resisted. There was a lot I took issue with when it came to her notion that Dwight had saved her life. She was the one who'd fought her way out of there; he'd just pointed her in the right direction. Yet she seemed to have this overriding feeling that she owed him something for it, which was bull. Nobody owed that son of a bitch anything.

"I attacked Negan. Dwight had to hit me a couple of times to keep up pretenses," she said, although she didn't want to because I didn't care about the reasons he'd done it, and she knew it. "But never otherwise, and he didn't hit hard. I know what he did to you in there, Daryl. Don't think I've forgiven him for that because I haven't. I won't. And as for what he did to Lucas…"

She trailed off again for a moment, a flash of anger in her eyes that threatened to overcome her. Lucas was in a bad way and only seemed to be getting worse. Naomi swallowed it back.

"Dwight has a lot to answer for," she said. "Like he says, we can settle up later. We gotta win first. For now, we need him."

I nodded. I got what she was saying, but I knew that part of Naomi that wanted to see good in people. It was why she wasn't mad at Rick for leaving her to die. Dwight could easily exploit that part of her too.

"Are you okay?" she asked me. I wasn't sure, and then I felt her take my hand.

"Yeah," I said. Dwight would pay for everything later. Even if he managed to manipulate Naomi into some false sense of owing him something, it didn't matter. She had me to protect her from that, to be mad at everyone that she had every right to be angry at. "We should go."

"We should," she agreed, and we walked back together through the ruins of what had once been our home. "Think we should lead people out the back? To stop them from seeing this shit?"

"Yeah," I said. "That's probably for the best."

The kids had been holding up pretty well down there, but there was no telling how they'd react to seeing the results of every explosion we'd heard down there. They were frightened enough.

Back down the sewers, Michonne was waiting anxiously to see if we'd make it back. One hand was on the hilt of her katana; she relaxed when she saw it was us.

"They're gone," Naomi said.

"Place looks like shit," I added, and the smile of relief that had been forming on Michonne's face quickly faded. "We'll take everyone out the back."

Michonne nodded and led the way back to the others. We'd taken an exit further away from the others so that if the Saviors saw us come out, it would give our people a head start. Rick heard us coming and walked over.

"The Saviors are gone," Michonne told him. "We can get everyone to Hilltop."

I knew by the way Rick hesitated that he had some other bullshit on his mind. Sure enough, instead of getting everyone up and ready to go, he said, "I need to talk to Jadis."

"What?" Michonne asked, as confused by it as I was.

"They have weapons and people," he said. "We can't just give that up."

"Why now?" Michonne asked. Another fair question. We were deep in the middle of some shit. After they'd crossed us, I could not understand why Rick was still giving them the time of day. Especially now, when we had bigger shit to worry about.

"They went with me to the Sanctuary," Rick said. "The Saviors saw us there. They're gonna be a target, too."

"That ain't our problem, man," I said. "If they're going to go around stabbing people in the back, then they gotta deal with the consequences."

"We still need them," he said.

"Bullshit," I said. "We got everyone we need."

Why couldn't he just look around him and see that? See that his kids were here? Michonne was here. We were heading to the Hilltop to see Maggie and Glenn, to join with Carol and the Kingdom. Everyone who mattered would be there. Why was he always looking for more?

"We need the numbers for this fight," Rick said. I was close to losing it.

"We got them."

"Let's say we do," he said. "I'd like to tip the odds a little more in our favor."

"It's a waste of time, man," I said. "We gotta get to the Hilltop."

"You lead everyone there," he told me. "I'll catch up."

"I'll come with you," Michonne said. Whether she agreed with what he was doing or not, she didn't want to be separated from him. That, I could understand.

"I need you to take Judith to the Hilltop," Rick said.

"I can do it," Carl stood up. Judith was already balanced on his hip. "I can take her."

Rick hesitated again.

"I'll make sure they get there alright," I said. Rick could go on whatever wild goose chase he liked. Carl and Judith would always be safe with me. "When you snap out of it, you know where to find me. C'mon."

I gestured to everyone else, who was still just sitting around. I didn't have Rick's talent for getting people up and moving and motivated. Thankfully, after I startled them all by yelling, Naomi stepped in and calmly got people moving towards me. She was so reassuring and at ease that even I relaxed for a moment.

I didn't say goodbye to Rick. I just led people the back way out of the sewers. It was better than walking through what was left of Alexandria, but even from outside the walls, it was clear what kind of damage lay on the other side of them.

Everyone took a pause on the outskirts of Alexandria. Pillars of smoke rose high above the walls. A solemn and shocked silence fell over everyone when they saw it. Lucas was up and able to move by himself, but he was slow, and we were all worried about the toll a long journey like this might take on him. Naomi and Mia were the last to leave the sewers. I watched the worry set into Mia's features and shared a glance with Naomi.

At least they haven't seen the rest of it.

"I can rebuild it," Noah said. He said it quietly, but since nobody else was talking, it felt loud. Most folks turned to look at him. "Reg and Deanna showed me the original plans for this place. He was teaching me how to build more, expand, before he… well, you know. I think I remember enough to… I can do it."

Before anyone could respond or feel that little bit of hope that Noah was trying to give us all, Lucas's eyes fell on Dwight. His face clouded over, "What the hell is he doing here?"

Shit.

We'd done a good job of keeping them apart. Until now. With everyone out of the dark and in one place, it was impossible to hide Dwight.

"He's helping us," Naomi said, but Lucas was too angry to listen. "He-"

"Give me a gun," Lucas demanded. My hand moved to my own gun. I knew his anger was at Dwight, but I didn't like how threatening he sounded or how close he was to my girl. "I'll shoot him myself."

"I can't do that," she said. I took a few steps closer.

"Naomi!" he said incredulously. "This is the bastard who-"

"I know, I know," she tried to assure him. "I know what he did to you, but we need him right now. To keep us all safe."

"That's bullshit."

"I'm sorry," Dwight said before Lucas could say anything else. Lucas turned slowly to fix him with a glare strong enough to kill. "I'm sorry for what I did… if it helps."

"It doesn't," Lucas spat back at him. He looked back at Naomi. "He should be dead."

"I know, but…" Naomi's eyes were a little desperate, torn between her loyalties to her friend and knowing how valuable Dwight could be. She was almost swayed into killing him now, and although I wanted him dead, I didn't like her making this call out of anger and desperation. Acting rash like that, that wasn't her. That was like something I'd do.

"Once this is won, you can take the shot yourself," Dwight promised Lucas. "No arguments from me."

"Fuck you," Lucas snapped before he walked away into the woods. It wasn't clear who he'd directed it at, and I saw Naomi deflate as his words hit her.

"I'm sorry," Dwight said again, although this time it wasn't to Lucas. Naomi shook her head, her eyes brightening.

"It's okay," I touched her arm. She looked at me, lost. "It'll be okay."

"We should get going," she said, changing the subject, and I knew she didn't believe me. "This could take all day."

"Yeah, you're right," I said. If getting started on this journey would make her feel better, I was happy to do it. I turned to everyone else and shouted, "Alright, let's get moving!"

It was clear from some of the blank faces staring back at me that most of them didn't know which direction to head in. How long had we been doing this without GPS, and some of them still couldn't tell their ass from their elbow? I tried not to get frustrated. We had a long way to go; best not to start off that way.

"I'll catch you up," Naomi said quietly as people started to follow my lead. "I need to make sure Lucas doesn't get left behind."

I choked back my first reaction, which was to say, "Like Hell you are, stay close," because I knew this meant a lot to her, and so far, this whole trusting each other to get shit done thing had worked out really well.

"Alright," I said. Lucas had stormed off in the right general direction, but he didn't much strike me as someone who knew how to navigate through the woods for long without getting lost.

We stayed close to the roads and paths without actually walking on them. There was no knowing how far the Saviors had gone or what routes they'd taken.

We hadn't been walking long before one of the Saviors' cars was spotted parked on an overpass. I signaled for everyone to shut the hell up and stay low. I looked back at the line of people taking shelter, couldn't see Naomi, and tried not to freak out.

We waited, listening to them talk and radio over to other patrols. They were still out looking for us from the sounds of things, and this was just one of many patrol cars. Felt like we were waiting for ages, but eventually, they packed up and moved on. I motioned for everyone to get up.

"Best to stay off the roads. Head into the woods right there," I said, ushering people in the right direction. They were all exhausted and sluggish, but we had to move fast. Who knew when the next patrol car would swing by, or if that last one would double back on itself. "C'mon. Go. Go!"

I relaxed when I saw Naomi steering people from the back. Lucas was walking ahead of her, and they were both too far away for me to tell whether or not they'd made up.

We walked on. Or rather, I walked on, and everyone else followed. I'm not used to people following me. I ain't Rick. So, I don't really know how to handle it, and I think it made me walk faster than I usually would have. But, I was one of the only people who knew where I was going, so they all looked to me to lead them to the Hilltop. With Naomi at the back making sure people weren't left behind, I couldn't pass that responsibility to anyone else.

The sun was getting high above us when Rosita stopped me and asked if we could take a break. It felt like a waste of time. We had a long way to go, and every second we were out here was giving the Saviors more time to find us, but I looked back at everyone. Tired faces. People who hadn't slept in twenty-four hours. Lucas was looking pasty again, leaning up against a tree while Denise talked to him in hushed tones. Naomi hung back behind him, watching them both, and the fear in her eyes was enough to make me agree to a break.

While everyone else took a breather, I doubled back a little and tried to cover our tracks. It's easy to hide the signs of one or two peoples' movements, but a whole group… it's almost impossible. The hopelessness of it made me all the more determined to get people moving when I got back.

"We can't just keep walking through the woods," Tobin stood up when he saw me coming. "We need a plan."

"I know where I'm going," I said. "That's our plan."

"At some point, we're going to have to join up with one of the main routes," Rosita said. "It's probably good to think through which one might be free of Saviors."

"How we going to do that?" I said. "You got the roads memorized?"

"It's okay," Naomi stepped in between us before things could get heated and swung her bag down off her shoulders. "I got this."

Amongst the food and supplies she'd packed in there, she pulled out a map.

"You brought a map?" I asked.

"Duh."

"When did you have the time?"

"Grabbed it before we left the house," she shrugged. "Thought it would be useful, and it is, so you're welcome."

I took it from her and laid it out on the ground to get a good look at it. "If they're smart, they'll cover all these passes between here and Hilltop."

I pointed out all of the possible routes. Finding a way to get to the Hilltop without crossing any of them, at least for a moment, would be almost impossible.

"We have to keep moving," Rosita said. "We'll just have to risk it."

"Maybe you don't have to," Dwight said. Nobody asked for his opinion, and there was a collective intake of breath when he gave it to us anyway. "Negan won't send his people down into this stretch of swamp, not if he doesn't have to."

"Yeah?" Tara asked. "How do you know that?"

"Negan wanted to map the best routes with cover from the Sanctuary to the Hilltop. He decided the swamp was too dangerous," Dwight said. "Didn't think it was worth the risk."

"And Simon?" Naomi asked. "What did he think?"

"Well… I doubt he'd care as much," Dwight said. "But every Savior knows that route ain't safe. If he wants them to go that way, it's going to take some convincing."

"You aren't seriously going to listen to him?" Lucas said, glaring at Dwight from where he was still leaning up against a tree and breathing hard.

"It's too dangerous for the Saviors, so you're going to send us?" Tara joined in. "Are you kidding me?"

"They have us boxed in," Rosita reminded her.

"Why should we trust him?" Tobin asked, gesturing at Dwight. "He could turn on us like he turned on his own people."

"I didn't just turn on them," Dwight said. "I killed them. Rosita saw it. Tara saw it. But one of them got away. So, if they find me, Simon puts my head on a pike. If Negan recovers enough to tell the others what really went down, they'll string me up on the fence. I'm not working for them, and I'm not going back to them. I chose my side. This is it. I'm here to help you beat them. After that… well, I know how it ends."

He looked at Lucas like he was ready for that bullet. Lucas glared back like he was ready too. I looked at Naomi, who, for better or worse, knew Dwight better than the rest of us. "What do you think?"

"I think the roads are more dangerous than the swamp right now," she said. "If Dwight says the Saviors aren't likely to go there, we should use that route."

"All right," I said. That was good enough for me. "We try the swamps."

Naomi folded up the map again, all neat lines so it would slip right back into her bag. We pushed on toward the swap. People did seem to be moving faster now they'd had a rest; maybe it hadn't been such a big waste of time after all. Dwight walked a few paces behind me.

"If this works, it won't change shit," I warned him.

"Everything I did, it was for Sherry," he said. "That doesn't make it right or something that should be forgiven, but it's the truth. Only one I got left. She's the one who let you out. Then she ran."

"Yeah, I know she's the one who let me out," I said. Dwight was surprised by this. I guess he had no way of knowing what Sherry had done after she ran. "She was supposed to run with Naomi, but she was the only one who made it to the Hilltop."

The implication of what I'd said hit Dwight so hard he had to stop moving for a second. "She… she went to the Hilltop?"

"Yup," I said. I studied his face for any sign of dread or horror. If he'd been lying about the Hilltop being safe or was walking us into a trap, Sherry was the way to get the truth out of him.

"Is she still there?" he asked in barely more than a whisper.

"Dunno," I shrugged. "Guess we'll find out. If we make it there."

I kept walking. Dwight didn't say anything else. I hadn't kept track of Sherry's whereabouts in all of this. I wanted Naomi back, and she'd failed to get her out safe. But now Dwight, whether he'd been lying before or not, had some real motivation to get us there.

After a few more hours of walking, we reached the swamp. It looked clear from where we were standing, but the waters were dark and muddy. So much could be hidden in those murky depths. I stopped everyone and took a few cautious steps across the water. It only took a couple of seconds before one of the dead raised its ugly head from where it had been hidden underwater. I shot it down, but I knew there'd be more.

"We have to be careful," Rosita said from behind me. "But we can do this."

"A group of us can push through," I said. "Clear a path for the others."

"I'll go," Dwight volunteered. "If I can have the crossbow-"

"You can't," I said immediately. "You'll stay right there."

Dwight wanted to disagree, I could tell. Naomi, Rosita, Tobin, and I spread out across the waters. It drew a lot of Walkers who'd been lying dormant out of the swamp. We took them all out one by one. It was lucky that the swamp slowed them a little, we were all tired, and our reflexes were slow.

When we turned back to the others, Dwight was gone. Lucas and Tara were gone, too.

Shit.

Only Lucas and Tara came back, emerging from the woods seconds before we could run off after them. Lucas was shaking, his steps slow and weak. He should've been resting.

"What happened?" Naomi asked. Tara glanced at Lucas, who looked away from all of us.

"Lucas chased Dwight into the woods," Tara said. "I followed. A group of Saviors was close by. Dwight distracted them. He's gone."

"What the hell?" I was still filled with adrenaline from taking out Walkers, and now it spiked into anger. "For all we know, he could be telling them everything. Simon could be on his way here right now."

"He isn't. He won't. He led them away," Lucas said. "They were coming right for us, and he saved us."

"He's right. He did," Tara said. "I saw it."

"I don't give a damn what he did," I yelled. "He can stick with them, he can come back - hell, he can run. When I find that son of bitch, I'm gonna-"

I stopped. Carl was covering Judith's ears, and she was looking at me with big, wide eyes.

Shit.

Shit, I scared her.

I looked for Mia and Perla. They huddled a little behind Naomi. Naomi's eyes met mine, and I felt calmer. It's okay, she seemed to say without saying anything at all. We got this.

"Alright, c'mon," I said. Everyone who wasn't already on their feet stood up. It was a tense few moments as the first of them stepped across the swamp. Those of us who'd cleared it kept scanning the area for more, for any that we'd missed. The first of our group reached the opposite side without incident, and we started to relax.

And then there was an almighty splash. I whipped around to look at the swamp. Before I could do a quick headcount, Naomi screamed, "Lucas!" I realized he was missing. He'd disappeared beneath the waters. Naomi, who'd already made it to safety, immediately waded back into the swamp to help him.

"Wait!" I called to her. It wasn't clear whether he'd fallen or if something else had dragged him down. She didn't stop, didn't slow down, just kept moving towards the ripple in the water where Lucas had stood.

Shit.

"Keep moving, keep moving!" I yelled to everyone else who'd stopped, frozen with fear. I raised my crossbow and headed to the same spot as Naomi. I trained it on the water. If anything other than Lucas was about to rise out of there, I was ready. She reached down into the depths, and I wanted to scream at her. If she got bit right now, she'd lose her arm. Or worse. She hauled a body out of the water. Lucas. Completely unconscious. She had to take his whole weight and swayed under the effort of it. I scanned the waters again; nothing was following him up. I lowered the crossbow and grabbed hold of Lucas.

"Is he bit?" I asked as we started dragging him to shore.

"I don't think so," she said. "I don't see any Walkers."

I nodded, but the swamp was too murky to know what could be trapped down there. We got Lucas to the shore and laid him out. Denise checked him over. Still breathing. No bite marks. Seemed like this journey had been too much for him, and he'd passed out. Naomi looked up at me, "What do we do?"

I could see her heart sinking in her eyes. Before I could say anything, Tobin cleared his throat. "If he doesn't wake up, we might have to…"

"No," Naomi said before anyone could even utter the words 'leave him behind.' Perla had started to cry, and the sound of it had lit a fire in Naomi. "I can carry him. I can do this."

"Not on-"

"Daryl," Naomi cut across me, her eyes flashed with anger. She was expecting me to side with Tobin, and I couldn't really blame her for making that assumption. She hadn't been down in the sewers when I'd said sorry for all of it. All she knew was me yelling at Lucas over nothing and almost come to blows with him over even less. I raised my hands in peace.

"Not on your own," I said. "That's all I was gonna say. Not on your own. I'll help."

She didn't say anything; I think she was too upset to talk. Naomi nodded, and together we propped Lucas up and started walking again.

It slowed our progress down a lot, and the sun was almost setting by the time we got to Hilltop. Naomi and I hadn't said a word to each other, conserving our energy for carrying Lucas's unconscious body. The gates opened up. Carol and Enid came running out to meet us all. Maggie and Glenn were just behind them.

"Y'all got a medic?" I yelled to them. Maggie took in the unconscious body we were supporting, and her eyes got wide.

"Is he bit?"

"No," Naomi said.

"Saviors took our medic, but we got supplies," Maggie said, pointing to one of the trailers.

"Great," Denise stepped up, looked at both of us to reassure us, "I can do this."

"I can help," Siddiq said, appearing at my side. "I can take him."

Naomi refused to let go, so Siddiq took my place. Denise ran ahead to get the medic trailer prepared while Naomi and Siddiq carried Lucas over. Now that the weight of him had been taken off me, my muscles were burning. I hadn't realized how tired I was.

"Hey, you okay?" Carol asked. I was too out of breath to give her an honest answer, so I nodded and hugged her.

"Glad you made it," Glenn said as I hugged him too. "Where's Rick?"

"He and Michonne went back to talk to Jadis."

"Why?" Maggie asked, as baffled as I was.

"Beats me," I shrugged. It was good to see them all, but I was only partly involved in this conversation. The rest of me was looking at the medical trailer. The door had closed, and Naomi had not come back out of it. Mia and Perla were staring at it too. Both of them had been crying but were now either cried out or too tired to keep going.

"We brought some supplies," I said, gesturing at our backpacks. "You think we could all stop for a bite?"

"Of course," Maggie said. "Come on in."

We started to move toward the big house. Mia and Perla didn't budge. They looked like they wanted to go over and join Lucas and Naomi, but if he was dying in there, I didn't want them to see it. I crossed over to them.

"Naomi's got this," I told them. "Best leave her to it and get some food."

"What if she needs help?" Mia asked.

"The best thing you can do for both of them is get some food and some rest," I said. "So Naomi doesn't have to worry about that, too."

They agreed, reluctantly. I got the girls inside, got them to eat something. They perked up a little once they had some food in them, and Mia started telling Perla all about the first time we'd stayed at the Hilltop and all of the animals they had here. I almost reminded her that they were for eating, and Hilltop wasn't a petting zoo, but this had been such a long, hard day that now didn't feel like the time. It was nice to hear them chat about something ordinary.

Maggie helped me set up a room for them to sleep in, and I stayed until their whispers behind the door had stopped, and I was sure they'd fallen asleep. I headed back to everyone else, saw Noah and Denise but no Naomi. I grabbed a plate of food to take to her.

I thought she'd still be in the medical trailer, but she was sitting outside it, staring at nothing. She was exhausted, and it was more than just physical strain. It was already dark out.

"Hey," I said gently, sitting down beside her. She was a million miles away.

"Oh," she was surprised to see me. "Hey. Sorry, I was just…"

She stopped because I don't think she had any idea what she was doing.

"It's alright," I said, holding out the plate of food to her. "Brought you this. You should eat something."

"Thanks, Daryl," she took it from me, had a few mouthfuls without taking in what she was eating. Then a thought struck her with a jolt, and she started to get to her feet, "The girls, I should-"

"It's okay," I said. "They're fine. They've eaten. They're sleeping."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," I said. "I just left 'em."

"Oh," her gaze lingered in the house for a moment. I waited for the realization that she didn't have to do all of this alone now, that she had me to take care of her and anyone else she needed more to, to sink in. It seemed to. She looked at me and settled down again. "Thanks, Daryl."

"Ain't gotta thank me, happy to do it," I told her. She nodded. I could tell she was resisting the urge to thank me again. She rested her back up against the wall again. "How's he doing?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yeah. I do," I said. Naomi didn't look like she fully believed it, so I carried on. "Lucas and I, we… I apologized for the way I was before."

She didn't even try to hide her surprise, her eyebrows shot up, and she scrutinized me like she expected me to take it back at any second. When I didn't, her face softened a little, and there was something in her eyes that could have been pride.

"He's… not good, Daryl. I'm worried he won't make it."

"I'm sorry."

She nodded, still looking at me like she was waiting for me to get all jealous and weird as usual. When I didn't, she said, "Did I ever tell you how I met Lucas?"

"No. Don't think so," I said. She'd barely told me anything about her time between getting out of her Momma's burning trailer and reaching Terminus. Most of what I'd known about that time had come from Lucas himself, and I'd been so busy trying to find her again, I hadn't pushed him for much. "He told me you saved his life, though."

"He said that?" I couldn't tell if she was surprised by what he'd said or that there's ever been a time that I wasn't at his throat for long enough to have that conversation.

"Yeah," I said. "When we got out of Terminus, and I figured out he knew you. That's what he said."

"It was Mia and Perla who saved him really," she said. "It was early days, and they went to get water on their own. We'd been training them to fight Walkers, and letting them travel a short distance to see how they'd get on was important, but… terrifying, y'know? They found Lucas injured and lying in the woods. They started screaming for help. Blanca and I were so-"

"Blanca?" I asked. She'd been so caught up in telling me this story, she'd forgotten that I had no idea how many people she'd made of out of Atlanta with.

"Perla's Momma," she clarified. "José's Momma."

The heaviness in her voice was a reminder that he was the kid those assholes at Terminus had made her shoot. "Oh."

"José was with the girls, too," she continued. "We'd given him a gun, but it was still early in all of this, we were trying to teach the kids, but we were all still learning ourselves. Blanca and I were mad as hell that they were yelling. Thought every Walker in a ten-mile radius would come and get them. But they'd found Lucas, and he was hurt, so they were trying to get help."

"What was wrong with him?"

"He'd fallen trying to climb up to one of our water reserves in the trees," she said. "He'd lost his group a few weeks before that. He was on his own. He'd busted his leg and thrown his back out."

"Ouch."

"Yeah," she agreed. "But, man, he would not stop complaining about it."

"Really?" Seemed so different from the Lucas, who'd refused to take a break from loading supplies, and who'd tried to walk here by himself until he physically couldn't take another step.

"Yeah. The way he was talking, I thought he'd broken his back and his leg," she shook her head at the memory of it. "I thought there was no way a guy like that could make it for long with the world the way it is now. Blanca took the kids back to safety, and I got him on his feet. Brought him to our camp."

"The one in the trees?"

"Yeah," she said. I thought she might be done with the story now, but there was a faraway and kind of misty look in her eye that made me wait for more. She took a deep breath. "Guy called Alf helped us build it. He'd worked construction, he was too old to build much, but he could tell us what to do. Always checked himself that the platforms we built were safe before he let the kids on them."

"Sounds like a good guy," I said, and I wondered where he was now. She'd never mentioned Alf, or Blanca, or any of the group she'd been with before this. I'd assumed most had died at Terminus, but for all I knew, they could still be out there somewhere.

"Yeah. Grumpy as hell, but… yeah, he was," Naomi said and even managed a small smile at the memory of him. "There were twelve of us then, including Lucas."

"Twelve?" I repeated. It surprised me, but she'd told me so little that any number would have surprised me.

"Yeah," she said and started listing them off. "Me, Mia, Lucas, Perla, José, Blanca, Alf… Frankie, who led a lot of runs back in those early days."

"That's brave," I said, and I thought about Glenn. Those early days I'd avoided the city. It didn't seem worth the risk when I could hunt enough to keep myself and Merle alive. But Glenn weren't like that. Wasn't so selfish. He'd led people in and out of the city whenever we needed it. Maggie and Glenn had been at Hilltop for a while, and I hadn't realized how much I missed having our whole group together.

"It was," Naomi agreed. "Frankie was separated from her husband right at the start, and I think every trip into town was an excuse to look for him."

"Shit," I said. I knew that pain of separation all too well. "She ever find him?"

"No."

We both took a moment. I wondered if she, like me, was thinking about how things might've gone if we hadn't found each other again.

"Izzy and Jack had just got married," Naomi said. "They bickered more than anyone I've ever met, but they loved each other so much."

"Really? Did they bicker more than us?"

"Okay, maybe not," she conceded with a smile. "William, he was barely more than a kid himself, and he was so eager to learn and to help. Managed to stay cheerful throughout the worst of it."

"Dee," she said, and when she did, her voice broke. "She was… just so kind and funny, and… she helped make that Birthday cake for Mia. The only reason it wasn't a complete disaster was because of her."

"That's nice."

"Yeah, it was." Her voice grew heavy again. "Day after we found Lucas, we went on a run. We lost two people that day. Frankie got torn apart by Walkers trapped in a house… and Blanca. She got bit."

"We're the kids there?"

"No. Thank God. I had to… shoot her before she turned."

"God."

"I'd taken out Walkers before, but… she was the first one since Momma that I'd actually known, and it's different, y'know?"

Yeah, I knew. Merle. Andrea and Amy.

"Yeah. It's rough."

"It is," she agreed. "Took us a long time to get over that. Winter came around. A few of us got sick."

My heart sank. I thought about when people had gotten sick at the prison. How we'd almost built a whole community before illness had torn through it.

"How bad was it?"

"Just the flu," she said. "Any other year, it would've been fine, but it was hard to keep to warm. We had to move inside. There was so much snow and ice… Alf got sick. Must've died in his sleep, and we didn't know then… that everyone turns."

"He died?"

"Yeah. He was walking toward us, and nobody could work out how it had happened," she said. "It was just the flu, y'know? It weren't supposed to… Anyway, I raised my gun. I thought I'd have to take the shot, and all I could think about was Blanca. And how I didn't know how to keep putting down people I loved… I…"

"It's okay," I said. "We've all had to do it, and it doesn't get easier."

"I didn't have to," she said. "Lucas stepped up. He took the shot."

"Good man," I said, and I didn't even have to fake it. That shit is hard, and if I couldn't be there looking out for her, I was glad someone else had been.

"Yeah," she agreed. "When Terminus got taken over, Dee and I were kept in the same place. After they killed the kids, after they made me shoot José, we managed to get notes out to coordinate an uprising. Dee got one to Lucas. He got the word to everyone else. When the guards came to get us, we got them. I attacked one of them while the others ran out to help win the place back from them. By the time I got out, Dee was..."She stopped, too choked up to carry on, and wiped the tears from her face. I put an arm around her, rubbed her shoulders.

"Hey, it's okay," I whispered. She didn't have to carry on if she didn't want to, but I'd wait all night for her to finish if she needed to talk this out. She gulped down a few more deep breaths and pulled herself together enough to carry on.

"She was gone," she finished. "By the time it was all over, we'd lost William and Jack, too. Izzy was barely hanging on. Lucas said she lasted a couple more days after I left, but she just kind of… gave up once she learned Jack had died. Perla and Mia were missing, but all the other kids who'd died were still chained to the walls. Or, their Walkers were, y'know. Someone had to put them down."

"You had to do that?"

"Me and Lucas," she said. "He said I shouldn't have to do it alone."

"He was damn right."

"He's different. From how he was at the start. I mean, we all are, but some more than most."

She was right, and I found myself telling her all about Merle and how he'd set Michonne free before he died. About Hershel searching for some kind of cure for his loved ones who'd turned, how he'd saved so many people who got sick at the prison. I told her about the shot I could've taken that might have saved his life. I told her about Beth and how she'd managed to keep hope alive in such a dark world. I told her that I hadn't been able to save her at the Hospital.

Naomi held my hand through all of it, and when she told me that it wasn't my fault, a tiny part of me actually believed her. The weight of their deaths was a little lighter, maybe even bearable to carry with me now.

When I was done, she kissed my forehead and looked into my eyes.

"I know you've lost people, too," she said, wiping away tears that I hadn't realized were on my cheeks. "But those people I left Atlanta with… only Lucas, Perla, and Mia are left."

"That ain't on you," I said.

"I could've done things differently," she said. "And I'm still making mistakes. Lucas is so angry with me about Dwight, and… now Dwight's gone… what was it all for?"

"He led Saviors away," I said. "Trust your gut on this one."

"If Lucas doesn't make it, he'll die mad at me, and I'll have to live with that. So, just…" she took a deep breath, wiped the tears from her eyes. "Go easy on Rick, okay? You ain't gotta forget or forgive, but you never know when it's going to be too late."

"Okay," I said because she was clearly worried about it, and I'd have done anything to make her feel even a little bit better. She leaned into me, head on my shoulder, and told me she loved me.

When I saw Rick again, things would be different. If I could be mad at him on her behalf, then I could forgive him for her, too.