Rapid fire updates? Don't get too used to it. I have been sick, but with the semester wrapping up, I am expecting to have less and less free time unfortunately. On the flip side that means procrastination though, so maybe updates here and there! Just not a guarantee that it's day after day. So on with the story! See you all real son (hopefully!)
Disclaimer: As always, the wonderful Jenny Han owns the og storyline, characters, and all rights! This is just my measly interpretation of the universe she so beautifully created!
Chapter 1: Stateside
"Local time is 5:34 p.m. From all of our crew here at United Airlines, we are happy to welcome you to Philadelphia or wherever your final destination may take you."
And with that, the pilot's announcement clicks off and my semester abroad has come to an end. Deplaning is always a headache, so I don't even try to move like everyone else around me.
A cold chill washes over me despite wearing my 16th birthday present from Steven: a Princeton crewneck as I squeeze Junior Mint in my arms. Junior Mint came a few days after Conrad's first letter, him and his iciness must've gotten stuck at customs. It had been shocking to receive a letter from him and Junior Mint let alone 4 more letters after his first. Of the 4 letters, he only ever signed one differently: "Love, Conrad".
Love. Conrad. Conrad sent love from him. It felt foreign for those two words to be so close again. Before his letters, I had nearly forgotten him while I was away. Then it was like all of a sudden, he had that pull on me that he used to when I was 16.
All the letter drafts for the first 4 letters sat in the back of my journal. I could never bring myself to send them. I only wrote to him once. It was only after he said 'Love' that I found my footing enough to shove my letter into the mailbox.
The letter back was quick and short, but I wanted him to know I thought about him. Thought about him enough to never forget our time together and to hold him to the promise of seeing that bowtie family portrait. Between hugging Junior Mint and reminiscing, I was so lost in thought that I didn't realize everyone had deplaned except for me.
I grabbed my backpack from under the seat, and my duffle bag from ahead before rushing off the plane. The second I step off the plane, it's like I never left: the smell of cheesesteaks and smog fill my nostrils. Ah, home sweet Philly.
Customs is a breeze. Waiting at baggage claim for my two suitcases is what feels like an eternity. My bright orange suitcase comes around the carousel first. My signature volleyball ribbon tied to the handles is how I know it's mine. All the souvenirs I brought back made it feel heavier than I ever remembered.
I'm waiting for my smaller flowered suitcase with most of my personal items when I hear a scream from behind me, "Oh Belly Button!"
Only one person would dare to call me that let alone in public: Steven. I whip around and there he is sprinting at me with his arms wide open. Behind him is my Mom and Taylor arm in arm tailing him with smiles as wide as Texas. I let go of everything except for Junior Mint tucked under my left arm as Steven scooped me into my arms and twirled me around.
'To think you were tan in the Summer, look at you now sis!" Steven exclaimed.
"Oh put me down you oaf before I throw up from motion sickness caused by you!" I giggled as I slapped his back with my free right hand.
Steven sets me down as he is panting, out of breath from running over to me. I turn to see my mom with tears in her eyes and arms wide open for me. I rush into her arms and cry together for a second.
"Oh my special girl," she whispers between sobs and stroking my hair.
Carmen's hugs were always the perfect comfort while I was in Spain, but nothing could compare to a hug from my mom. We held each other for so long, it felt so natural to be in her arms.
Still embraced by her, she quit stroking my hair and let her hand rest on my shoulder as she said, "Susannah would have been so proud of you, our special girl."
I hugged her tighter and sobbed even harder as I choked out, "I missed you so much mom."
We hugged for what felt like ever. We didn't break apart until I heard the familiar sound of Taylor's voice shrieking, "Of course Cinderbelly's suitcase would be the last off the plane!"
I let go of my mom, wipe my eyes, and turn to face my best friend who is holding my floral suitcase. Her hair is blonder than it was the last time I saw her, and it has more layers to it now. It looks expensive, but it makes her look older and suits her so well.
"God do you have bricks in this thing or what B?!" Taylor exclaims, setting the suitcase down.
I make my way over to her and hug her tight and giggle while saying, "It's all the boys I hid in my suitcase for you per your request."
"Oh you rat! Seriously, though?" Taylor questioned pulling back from me to see if I was serious in my face.
I could never lie, so she knew immediately when she saw my face. We both busted up laughing, and soon enough, Steven and my mom joined our fits of laughter. Everyone in the airport probably thought we were crazy at this point. Breaking off of Taylor, I get the rest of my stuff together off the airport floor.
Once I've physically gathered everything and myself, I turn to my family in front of me and say, "Let's go home, everyone."
There's a resounding yes from the three. Steven grabs my large suitcase to roll, Taylor has the suitcase with "her boyfriends" inside, and my mom is carrying my duffle. My phone vibrates in my pocket, but I have no idea who it could be since my whole family is basically here. Pulling it out of my sweatshirt pocket, I see it's my dad.
I smile at the phone as I read, "Hey kiddo, sorry I couldn't be at the airport to see you get back. I tracked your whole flight on FlightAware, and I'll be at the house when you get back to hug you first thing. See you in a few!"
Even though the divorce was rocky and losing Susannah was hard, he and my mom had come together more recently than most divorced couples do. I know they won't get back together, but I can see their love is still there. It still burns, just in a different way now.
Soon enough we are at my mom's car in the short term parking lot, and we are off. Back to the Philly homeland. Central A/C will be such a relief! The heat in Spain is different than it is here, but there are just some instances where you long for that cool relief of an ice cold room that you just can't get in Europe.
The drive home feels like the fastest 25 minutes of my life. We pull into the driveway, and there my dad is. He's in his singular nice outfit: worn down khakis and gray button down with brown patched sleeves. He's holding a bouquet of daisies, baby's-breath, and eucalypts. I jump out of the car and run to him.
"There's my ray of sunshine! All grown up and everything!" he exclaims as I jump into his arms and he lifts me high above his head while looking up at me.
He sets me down and pinches my cheeks like he used to when I was a kid. By the time our father-daughter interaction is over, Steven has all my bags out of the car. The three of them are walking up the sidewalk now. I turn around, and it's like how everything used to be. The four of us are like a family unit with Taylor tagging along with her two cooler, unbiological parents.
The three of them brush past me to unlock the door and set my bags inside.
My mom passes my duffle to my dad as she says, "John you up for a family dinner to welcome Belly back?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world!" He exclaims taking the steps up the porch two at a time to set my duffle inside.
Soon it's just my mom and I standing at the foot of our porch. Under my arm I still have Junior Mint tucked under my arm. She looks at my face and then to Junior Mint. Still looking at him, she takes her index finger and pushes his little nose in.
She laughs and asks, "Is he joining us for dinner too?"
I look down at the bear and smile. Immediately wishing that the person who gifted him were here too. I wish him, Susannah and even Jere were her. The possibility of them being there was miles away.
Then it hits me: how did he even know what the address of my host family in Spain was? I Look back up and my mom is smiling at me. She pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and winks at me.
She starts walking back to the car to grab something as she says, "Whatever you choose, you have 5 minutes to freshen before it's wheels up for a U.S. standard: Olive Garden!"
I laugh at my mom's joke about Olive Garden. She knows I would much rather prefer anything local over that place.
"Alright, I'll be back downstairs in 5!" I shout running through the front door and up the stairs.
Bursting through my bedroom door, it's like nothing has changed in there. My bed left in the same state it was when I left: haphazardly made but enough to keep my mom's comments at bay. I drop my backpack and Junior Mint on the bed. I rush to the closet and yank it open. Stripping the clothes I have been in for over 16 hours now, I opt for anything more comfortable. I pick my most lived in pair of jeans, and try to settle on a shirt.
Flipping through all my shirts on hangers, I pull one sandwiched between two and halfway off its hanger. It's not one I recognize though, at least not immediately. Then it hits me before I even read the shirt: it's Conrad's shirt. The one he let me borrow on a stolen night at the summer house.
I play with the sleeves and think for a moment: about him, Junior Mint, and what this summer would be like. I haven't seen him since last summer when I walked out on my own wedding to my best friend, his brother.
Shoving the shirt back in between my many other t-shirts, I grab the one directly behind it. One of Susannah's baby tees: a light blue one she cut the bottom off of for a college party with my mom. I grab it off the hangar and throw it over my head.
It's the closest I can get to having a hug from her again. God I miss her. I wrap my arms around myself and imagine Susannah, standing here hugging me and welcoming me back to the states like everyone else.
"Belly come on!" someone shouts from downstairs.
I'm snapped out of the moment. Grabbing my wornout corduroy jacket and my vans, I go sprinting down the stairs to meet everyone.
"I told you I wouldn't be that long! So where are we going to eat?" I ask while slipping into my shoes.
The 5 of us can't decide where to eat before leaving the house, but we are all about ready to eat our shoes. We settled on the closest place to the house: Five Guys. The most American welcome home imaginable including a greasy burger, mountain of french fries, and a perfect milkshake.
What more could I ask for but to be here with the people I love most. Deep down my heart knows that everyone I love isn't here though. If only they were though, man that would be the perfect moment.
C'est la vie, I guess. Nothing is guaranteed, no matter how hard we wish or hope.