Confession

It is almost past midnight and yet, Penelope Featherington could not fall asleep. Her mind had become worked up as she had repeatedly read the secret behind the book Thomas Debling gave to her. And for the fifth time for that night, she grabbed the volume and flipped through the last pages towards the end of the book.

For where there should be blank pages that were merely used to balance the folios that make up the book, she saw a handwriting that were so beautifully and delicately scribbled.

-x-

My Dearest Miss Featherington,

As I pen these words upon the blank pages of this book, my heart swells with emotions too vast to contain. From the moment our paths crossed, I have been ensnared by the radiant light of your presence drawn inexorably into the depths of your captivating gaze.

In your eyes, I see the reflection of a thousand stars, each one a testament to the beauty and brilliance that resides within your soul. Your fiery locks, like strands of spun gold, dance upon the breeze with a grace unmatched by any mortal coil. And though others may deem yourself inferior to that standard of society, in my eyes, you are the very embodiment of perfection, a vision of loveliness that steals my breath away.

But it is not merely physical allure that has captured my heart, my dear Miss Featherington. Nay, it is the depth of your intellect, the quickness of your wit, that sets you apart from all others. In your presence, I find myself challenged and inspired, eager to delve into the mysteries of life with you by my side.

Thus, with every beat of my heart, I am consumed by a love so pure, so profound, that it transcends the bounds of time and space. Miss Penelope Anne, my beloved, I beseech thee to grant me the honor of calling you mine, to walk hand in hand through the trials and triumphs that await us on this journey called life.

For it is with you, and you alone, that I find my truest happiness, my deepest fulfilment. In your arms, I have found my home, and in your love, I will have my salvation.

My lady, my dearest Miss Penelope Featherington, would you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife? Know that this request comes from the deepest recesses of my soul, and that I pledge myself to you with all the ardor and devotion that a heart such as mine can muster. Should you see fit to bestow upon me the privilege of your hand, I vow to spend every day of our shared existence striving to be worthy of the honor.

Yours, now and always,

Thomas Debling

-x-

Penelope still could not believe what was written down with Lord Debling's signature. She has already read it several times, memorizing almost all of the words on the page. Penelope tries to think what to do with the proposal. Sure, it was a proposal but an informal one as it has not been officially made to the lady of their household, Portia Featherington.

Should she tell her mama, and show this letter penned by Lord Debling? For the first time in all her years, being up in the marriage mart, Penelope Featherington had received a marriage proposal, from a titled lord no less. Tears of joy brimmed in her eyes as she continued to re-read the words written by Thomas. Her heart danced with delight, and her soul soared with an overwhelming sense of happiness.

Never before had she encountered such a declaration of love, so tender and sincere, written with such eloquence and passion. Lord Debling's words stirred something deep within her, igniting a flame of affection that had long been dormant.

As she traced the lines of his penmanship with trembling fingers, Penelope felt a warmth spread through her being, as if his love had enveloped her in a comforting embrace. In that moment, she knew without a doubt that Thomas Debling, the Earl of Beverley, had touched her heart.

With tears streaming down her cheeks, Penelope Featherington clutched the book to her chest. She felt conflicted as the images of her first love Colin Bridgerton came to her mind. She had wished for years that the Bridgerton boy would have loved her and have feelings for her. Oh, how she hoped for the man to be the one in Debling's shoes right now. But at the same time, she had accepted that their relation will be nothing more than just as friends. And the letter that Colin sent her the other day just makes her more confused.

The next morning

Lord Thomas Debling and Penelope Featherington can be found promenading through Hyde Park. Taking a leisurely walk along the beauty of their surroundings, while at the company of each other. Penelope's arms were wrapped around Debling's as they meander along the winding paths, lost in conversation and laughter. The youngest Featherington steals glances at Thomas, marveling at the depth of affection that shines in his eyes. The two were being followed by Penelope's maid Lily, as the dowager baroness Lady Featherington was preoccupied with her own pursuits, indulging in a sumptuous repast at their family's tent.

As much as she smiles and shares laughter with him in the entirety of their conversations, Lord Debling could not help but notice the dark circles under the eyes of the woman he was courting.

"My lady, forgive me for noticing, but it seems there are shadows beneath your eyes. Have you been resting well of late? Is there something troubling you?" Penelope sees the genuine concern in Debling's face as a hint of worry painted on the good-looking man's face.

"Oh, my lord." Penelope starts to say with a soft smile, grateful for the man's concern and caring nature. "Thank you for your thoughtfulness. Truly, there is nothing to worry about. It was merely a consequence of a late night, and I shall be sure to rest more diligently in the future." Her smile and her words had erased the worried expression showing on the earl's face. How can this man be so charming that even just a small movement on his eyebrows and slight curves forming on his lips, makes Penelope feel a sense of euphoria.

Before she could think of any improper things, Penelope turned to her maid Lily, who was walking five paces behind them. She reached for a book that was wrapped in a pastel pink ribbon. Holding it out to Lord Debling, the youngest Featherington continued, "There is something I would like to give you, Lord Debling. A promise you have asked of me previously." She gives the earl a sweet smile as she hands over a copy of Maria Edgeworth's Castle Rackrent. The book tells the story of four generations of Rackrent heirs and the sequential mismanagement of their estate, which is resolved through the machinations of the narrator's son.

There were a lot of books in the Featheringtons' library, but she was unsure what would befit the likes and personality of Lord Debling. Penelope knew better not to hand the man those that speak about romance, as it was unlikely for a gentleman to immerse himself in such composition.

As Thomas accepts the printed work, Penelope Featherington watches his expression with eager anticipation, hoping to see what this small gesture will make of his reaction.

Thomas swallowed, blinking twice as he saw his prospect handing her a literature. He remembered clearly that he requested for the young lady to lend him a book, only if she were to finish the one he had given her.

"Why thank you, my lady. I feel joy that my request is in your thoughts." He gently grabs the books by his free hand as they slowly stop their tracks. "By chance, have you finished reading the one I gave you?" Thomas nervously asks Penelope.

The latter innocently smiled saying she hasn't yet, but wanted to have him read something from her in return. "My apologies, Lord Debling. I still have a few chapters left.. I was thinking how it would be nice if we were to discuss our opinions and perspectives, when we both finish the book we gave each other, wouldn't you agree?" Miss Featherington felt so bad about lying to Thomas, but she was scared to tell him that she had already read his letter for a marriage proposal.

A pang of guilt pierces through Penelope as she witnesses the sadness etched upon Lord Debling's face. She could feel her heart ache with the weight of her unspoken truth, knowing that her omission has caused him disappointment.

But Thomas Debling is a person that has unwavering loyalty and perseverance. He smiled softly at Penelope, hiding away his low spirits and assured the red-haired lady what good of an idea her plan is.

"I would most certainly love to have that discussion, Miss Featherington." As they have already completed a lap around the park, the Earl of Beverley led them to sit on one of the park benches as he tries to speak something serious with Penelope. Their chaperone were still within their close proximity as Lily took her seat at the nearby bench from them.

As they take their seat, Thomas Debling took a deep breath to steady his nerves, and turns to Penelope; his gaze in earnest and sincere.
"Miss Featherington," he begins, with his voice tinged with uncertainty, "there is something of great importance that I must confess to you. Something that I have kept hidden for far too long." Lord Debling paused, gathering his thoughts but before he could continue, an unwanted hindrance appeared before them by the form of Colin Bridgerton.

"Ah, Miss Featherington. What a lovely day to see you." Colin bowed his head greeting Penelope, much to her dismay. She was irked to see the Bridgerton boy, more so since it was obvious that he disregarded her companion. Both Penelope and Thomas stood up from the bench to greet the newly arrived man.

"I'm not sure if you have met my lord, but this man is Mister Colin Bridgerton, younger brother of the Viscount Bridgerton." Penelope takes it to herself to provide the proper introductions between the two. "Mister Bridgerton, this is Lord Thomas Debling, the Earl of Beverley."

Thomas extends his hand for a hand shake, as what a proper gentleman should do. Colin hesitated as he felt animosity towards this suitor. But when he glanced at Penelope's irritated look, he gave in and squeezed the earl's hand gently.

"You must be the third Bridgerton, as I believe I have met the second born Benedict." Thomas casually says. Over the help of Lady Danbury, Lord Debling had come to know the news that transpired among the ton before he re-entered the society. He has learned how Colin has besmirched the reputation of the woman he's courting and has a theory that this very man may be the one holding Penelope's affections. But those things were not enough to cloud Thomas' judgement and prevent him from acting as a good-bred nobleman. He smiled at the Bridgerton boy welcoming his presence in front of them.

"Yes, indeed. It was nice meeting your lordship, but I was actually wanting to speak with Miss Featherington here." Colin brushes off the niceties of the man and turns toward Penelope, who now has a surprised and disapproving look on her face.

Thomas had one of his brows raised with Colin's audacity. But since he is merely a suitor, Lord Debling knew that he was in no place to dismiss the man's effort. He sadly looks at Penelope by his side, as he excuses himself to give space for them.

"Very well. I shall leave you two for your conversation, my lady. I shall be around the park should you require my company afterward."

As Lord Debling excuses himself and begins to walk away, a wave of sadness washes over Penelope, accompanied by a strong sense of irritation towards Colin Bridgerton. She could feel a knot form in the pit of her stomach watching Thomas retreat.

Penelope Featherington then turns her attention to Colin asking him what ever his purpose in disturbing her and the Earl of Beverley.

"Mister Bridgerton, what is it that you wish to speak with me about? You have interrupted a private moment, and I must admit, I am rather vexed for what ever the reason for your intrusion. I believe I had clearly told you last time that I do not wish to speak with you." Penelope's words were polite, yet there is a subtle edge to them; a reflection of the frustration and disappointment simmering beneath the surface. For in that moment, all she can think about is the absence of Lord Debling, and the desire to reunite with him once more, to ease the low spirits in his eyes.

As he felt the hint of irritation in Penelope's voice, Colin offered her a contrite smile, recognizing the disruption his intrusion had caused.

"Pen, I apologize for interrupting your moment with Lord Debling." Colin's tone was sincere as he meets her gaze. "But there is something of importance that I wished to discuss with you." He took a deep breath as he continues, "I must confess that I was taken aback by your constant lack of response to my letters. I understand your anger and disappointment in me, believe me when I say I will do everything you ask of me to have your forgiveness. But I felt compelled to express my intentions nonetheless, for if not now, I may never have another chance to do so." Colin said pleadingly.

With his eyes, staring intently at her to express his sincerity, he had uttered his intentions on courting his dear good friend. "Miss Featherington, I have realized it late, but I admire you and my heart yearns for your affection. I wish to court you in earnest. I understand if you need time to consider my offer, but I wanted to be upfront about my intentions and to seek your understanding in this matter."

Penelope Featherington could no more be surprised in hearing Colin's words. She had long decided to remove all lingering feelings for the man. And just as she was able to move forward, the said man comes running to her expressing his interest. She could feel a surge of conflicting emotions rise within her.

"Colin," Penelope started to speak, her voice tinged with a mixture of sadness and resolve, revolting back to calling him by his Christian name. "I appreciate your candor, but I must be honest with you as well. Last year's events have left a lasting impact on me, and while I once harbored feelings for you, I can no longer ignore the damage that was done to my reputation."

She took a deep breath to steady herself and continued her speech while Colin was stuck frozen listening to her. "I have spent many months trying to move on from the hurt you caused, and I have come to realize that no matter how long I have loved you from the past, I can no longer entertain the possibility of a romantic relationship with you."

Penelope's words hang heavy in the air, reminding them both of the pain and disappointment that still lingers within the red-haired lady. Yet, despite the sadness that threatens to overwhelm her, there was a sense of liberation, a newfound clarity that allows her to see the path forward more clearly.

"Lord Debling has shown me only kindness and respect, and I believe his feelings for me are sincere." She added with her voice steady with conviction. "I have chosen to entertain his affection, and I hope you can understand and respect my decision."

As Penelope said all those words, it all pierced through Colin's heart like shards of glass. He felt a wave of guilt and remorse wash over him. The realization that she had loved him all along hit him like a ton of bricks, and he was overcome with a profound sense of regret for not recognizing her feelings sooner.

"P-Pen.. I.. I had no idea." Colin Bridgerton stammered, his voice laced with sorrow. "I am truly sorry for the pain I have caused you, for the damage to your reputation and the hurt I have inflicted upon your heart." Despite her rejection, Colin is still determined to right his wrongs of the past and prove to Penelope Featherington the depth of his love and devotion.

"Penelope, please.. I understand if you need time to heal, but I want you to know that my feelings will not waver. I will do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness and prove to you that my love for you is genuine." Colin implored with every fiber of his being. He was resolved to make amends for the pain he had caused, to show Penelope his commitment.

For he realized that she is the one who holds the key to his heart, and he will stop at nothing to win back her trust and affection.