The Warriors: From Zero to Hero

Chapter 36

After being told by Zeus that he still isn't a true hero yet Hercules was depressed as the gang tries to cheer him up

In the city a carriage passes past rich gates of the villa

On your left is Hercules's villa. My next stop is the Pecs and Flex gift shop where you can pick up the Great Hero's 30-minute workout scroll "Buns of Bronze" the tour guide man said

Suddenly a bunch of fan girls were climbing the rich gates while inside the villa Hercules is posing for a picture on a vase dressed in the skin of the lion Scar from Disney's The Lion King as an artist was painting a picture of him with it and The Warriors were watching

At 1:00 you got a meeting with King Augeas. He's got a problem with his stables. I'd advise you not to wear your new sandals. Phil said

Phil? Hercules said

I told you, don't move! the artist said

D.G.R., the Drughters of the Greek Revolution. Phil said

Phil? Hercules said

At 3:00, you gotta get a girdle from some amazons... Phil said

Phil? Hercules said

What? Phil said

Phil, what's the point? Hercules said

Hercules dropped his club and shield while messing up the artist's painting

No. the artist said

Uh...sorry? Hercules said

The artist now furious gives out a loud yell

YAIEEEEE! THAT'S IT! the artist said

Keep your toga on, pal. Phil said

I quit. the artist said

What? Phil said

The artist throws the paints on Phil making him look like a clown and leaves

What do you mean, "What's the point ?" Phil said

I don't know if i can keep doing this anymore. Hercules said

What? Phil said

I give up. Hercules said

What? Phil said

You heard me. Hercules said

You wanna go to Olympus, don't ya? Phil said

Yeah, but this stuff doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere. Hercules said

Hercules throws the skin of Scar to Phil

Kid, what's going on? Phil said

Hercules talked with his father last night. Sophitia said

He did? Phil said

Yes. Sophitia said

What did he say? Phil said

That he still isn't a true hero yet. Punk said

Seriously? Phil said

Yup. Punk said

What else? Phil said

That he needs to discover what makes a true hero himself. Batman said

That's it? Phil said

Yes. Batman said

Wow. Phil said

Yeah. I know right? Hercules said

Phil wipes the clown paint off of his face with the lion skin

But you can't give up now, i'm counting on ya'. Phil said

I gave this everything i had. Hercules said

Kid? Phil said

What is it? Hercules said

I wanna tell you something. Phil said

You do? Hercules said

Yeah. Phil said

Okay. Hercules said

Listen to me, kid. I've seen 'em all. Phil said

Really? Hercules said

Yeah. And i am tellin' you - and this is the honest-to-Zeus truth - you got somethin' i never seen before. Phil said

Really? Hercules said

I can feel it right down to these stubby bow legs of mine. Phil said

Stubby bow legs? Hercules said

Just ignore it. Phil said

Okay. Hercules said

The point is there is nothin' you can't do, kid. Phil said

You really so? Hercules said

I know so. Phil said

Suddenly the doors open and out came some fan girls screaming

It's him! the first fan girl said

It's really him! the second fan girl said

Huh? Hercules said

What the hell? Punk said

What on earth? Sophitia said

Let's get him. the third fan girl said

Whoa. Wait. Hercules said

The fan girls ran and approached Hercules going gaga all over him

Hey, watch it! Watch it! Watch... Phil said

I touched his elbow! the first fan girl said

I got his sweatband! the second fan girl said

Phil do something. Sophitia said

Yeah. He's tortured by these girls. Punk said

Don't worry. I got an idea. Phil said

You do? Sophitia said

Yeah. Phil said

What is that? Sophitia said

A secret weapon for fan girls. Phil said

What? Sophitia said

Phil approached Hercules who was being tortured by the fan girls

Are you alright kid? Phil said

Phil, help! Hercules said

Okay, escape plan beta. Phil said

Gotcha. Hercules said

Escape plan beta? Punk said

Yeah. Phil said

What's that? Sophitia said

Hulk wants to know too. Hulk said

Watch this. Phil said

Phil blows a whistle and the fan girls look at him for a moment while Hercules disappears

Hey! the first fan girl said

Where is he? the second fan girl said

There he goes! On the verranda! Phil said

Girls run away while Phil goes too but when the doors close Megara appears from behind it

Meg? the others said

Hey guys. Meg said

What are you doing here? Punk said

Just looking for Wonderboy. Meg said

Oh. Punk said

This is a nice villa. Meg said

I know right? Punk said

Really nice. Meg said

You're looking for Hercules? Batman said

Yeah? Meg said

What for? Batman said

I wanna find him. Meg said

What for? Batman said

Look have you all seen him? Meg said

No. We haven't. Sophitia said

Seriously? Meg said

Yes. Sophitia said

Wow. Meg said

Yeah. Sorry. Punk said

I'll find him. Meg said

What? Punk said

I said i'll find him. Meg said

How? Sophitia said

Shouldn't be too hard. Meg said

Meg walks around the living room and sees Hercules's feet under a curtain

Let's see, what could be behind curtain number one? Meg said

Meg opens the curtain and reveals Hercules

Meg! Hercules said

Hercules. the others said

Where have you been? Sophitia said

Sorry. I just needed to get away from those girls. Hercules said

But you didn't have to disappear like that. Sophitia said

I mean to be fair those girls were attacking him. Punk said

That is true but not disappearing sounds terrible. Sophitia said

What? Punk said

I didn't mean to. Hercules said

I know but you need to apologize. Sophitia said

Sorry guys. Hercules said

It's okay man. Punk said

Don't worry about it. Batman said

Apology accepted. Sophitia said

Hulk forgives you. Hulk said

It's all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed. Meg said

Meg? Hercules said

Hey Wonderboy. Meg said

Gee, i-i-it's great to see you. I-I-I missed you. Hercules said

Megs drops on the couch for a bit and talks to Hercules

So, this is what heroes do on their days off? Meg said

Ah, i am no hero... Hercules said

Sure you are. Meg said

Really? Hercules said

Everybody in Greece thinks you're the greatest thing since they put the pocket in pita. Meg said

I know. It's-it's crazy you know, i can't go anywhere without being mobbed, i mean... Hercules said

Ah. You sound like you could use a break. Meg said

A break? Hercules said

Yeah. Meg said

Oh. Hercules said

Think your nanny goat would go... Meg said

Meg grabs a Phil action figure and squeezes it as it's eyes pop out

Berserk if you played hooky this afternoon? Meg said

Oh gee. I-I don't know, uh, Phil's got the rest of the day pretty much booked. Hercules said

Ah, Phil, Shmill. Meg said

What? Hercules said

Just follow me. Out the window, round the dumbbells, you lift up the back wall and we're gone.

Really? Hercules said

Yeah. Meg said

It appears that Meg is asking Hercules to come and hang out with her later in the afternoon what will Hercules say stay tuned

TO BE CONTINUED