Eddie stepped into the hallway, slipping off his coat and shoes. It was good to be home at last. It had been a long day.
The house was quiet. When he'd pulled up on the drive, the hallway and living room lights were both on. And now, judging by the fact her car was parked on the drive, her shoes were by the door and he could hear the TV playing in the living room, it seemed that Rachel was home. Whether she was ok or not was a different matter.
He stood in front of the living room door, listening for any sign of movement coming from the other side of the door. There was silence, apart from the muffled voices on the TV. He didn't want to open the door if she was asleep. Rachel was the lightest sleeper he'd ever met, she'd wake up the second he opened the door. But he needed to know if she was ok.
Carefully, he pushed on the handle, poking his head round the door.
Rachel was lying on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket. Her hair fell delicately across her face. She was fast asleep, her breathing soft and slow. Eddie sighed in relief. She looked so peaceful.
He tip-toed into the room, grabbing the remote off the coffee table next to Rachel. He switched the TV off before lightly pulling the blanket up over Rachel's shoulders. Thankfully, she didn't stir.
It was as he was watching her sleep that he noticed how tired and pale she looked. As he suspected, she was far from ok. Whatever this illness was seemed to be sucking all the energy out of her. He wished he could make it better for her, but he didn't know how. All he could do was hope she had been to the Doctors this afternoon and that they had told her the next steps.
He exited the living room quietly, closing the living room door gently behind him. He knew he couldn't do much to help her right now, but he could let her sleep as much as she needed to.
He grabbed his bag from the hallway, pulling out the paperwork and marking he'd planned to spend his evening completing. He made himself a coffee, before settling at the kitchen table, turning his attention to the paperwork. If he was honest, he had thought about leaving the paperwork for Rachel for when she felt well enough to do it. She was a perfectionist when it came to her paperwork, there was a system and a method that Eddie thought he understood but didn't. But, right now, she wasn't well enough, and he knew she would start stressing if her paperwork was piling up. So he was doing it for her, so that all she had to focus on was getting better.
As he read through the documents, occasionally scribbling his signature onto the paper, he heard the front door quietly open and close. Philip was home. In a way, he was relieved. Having someone else in the house to keep him company would stop him from worrying about Rachel so much.
"Hi, mate" Eddie greeted when Philip walked into the kitchen
Philip smiled awkwardly.
"Hey. Where's Rachel?"
"Asleep in the living room" Eddie told him
"How is she?"
Eddie shrugged.
"It's hard to tell. She doesn't look great. I'm taking the fact that she's sleeping as a good sign"
Philip nodded.
"Everyone's been asking about her today. They're all worried" he added
"She'll be ok" Eddie reassured
Philip nodded, hoping it was true.
"There's a rumour going around that Miss Haydock got sent home drunk today"
Eddie sighed heavily. He'd been naive to think it would stay between himself, Charlotte and Matt. Of course the kids would find out. Poor Steph.
"She was sent home, yes" he nodded
"But not drunk?"
"It's... not for me to say. She's supposed to be on compassionate leave, but she didn't want to be at home. I... didn't think she was fit to be at work, so Mr Wilding took her back to his" Eddie explained
Philip nodded.
"Are you staying in for dinner? Or are you going out?" Eddie asked, changing the subject
"Yeah, I'm staying. I'm just going to go and get changed and start my homework"
"Alright. I'll start cooking once I've finished this paperwork"
Philip was about to reply, when they heard the all too familiar sound of retching coming from the living room. Eddie shot up, dropping the pen in his hand as he ran into the hallway. Philip grabbed a glass, filling it with fresh water before following Eddie.
Eddie sighed heavily when he walked into the living room. He watched helplessly from the doorway as Rachel retched and heaved into the bin. Once again, he wanted to help, but he didn't know how.
Philip handed him the glass of water before going upstairs. Eddie thanked him, continuing to hover in the doorway.
When Rachel's eyes fell on Eddie, her heart filled with a mixture of dread and relief. Relief that he was here and she wasn't home alone anymore, dread because she had to tell him she was pregnant. The urge to get into her car and never stop driving returned.
Eddie placed a gentle kiss in her hair, noticing the way that she flinched as he did so. He smiled at her softly as he sat down beside her, pulling her feet back over his legs.
"How are you feeling, darling?" he asked, rubbing her knee with his thumb
"Tired... and sick" she mumbled sleepily, putting the bin back on the floor
"How did it go today?" she questioned
"It was fine" he told her
She raised an eyebrow at him sceptically.
"You're going to have to give me more than that. Either that or get better at lying"
"It was fine, Rach. Nothing to report" he insisted
"Then why did I hear Philip asking if Steph had been sent home drunk?"
Eddie groaned. If super-sonic hearing existed, he was sure Rachel had it. There was no point lying to her. She would get the truth out of him one way or another.
"Ok. Steph came into work. We were all surprised by it, she's meant to be on compassionate leave. She didn't want to be at home, which I understand. I was happy to let her mark in her classroom, and that's what she did. The LEA sent in a school counsellor. She went to talk to Steph. Steph lashed out at her, pushing her out of her classroom. I got to them as it was happening. I sent Steph to your office, that's when Charlotte told me about the empty gin bottle Steph had tried to hide in her desk"
Rachel closed her eyes, sighing deeply. In a way, she had seen this coming. Not this situation exactly, but something similar. She didn't blame Steph. If she was in Steph's shoes, she wouldn't be able to stay at home either. Especially when the place she called home was now (and would forever be) the scene of a crime. Rachel couldn't imagine the pain Steph must have felt, having to go back to the house last night after being at the Police Station. Rachel thought she'd had it bad having to go home to Eddie's endless questions. That was nothing to what Steph had, had to go through. It made sense that she had turned to drink today, and that she had lashed out at another member of staff. She just hoped that Eddie had treated Steph fairly and had kept in mind the fact that she was grieving the loss of Maxine.
"So... what did you do?" she asked hesitantly
"Well, she lashed out at a member of staff, and she had brought, and was drinking, alcohol on the premises. That warrants for suspension"
Rachel groaned, placing her head in her hands.
"Please... tell me you didn't"
Eddie suddenly realised he'd taken the wrong approach. He grabbed her hands, pulling them away from her face. She looked at him sceptically.
"Let me finish" he requested
She nodded tentatively.
"I had a chat with her. I was going to suspend her, it crossed my mind. But I... thought about what you would have done. Suspending her wouldn't have helped her at all, so I didn't. But I made sure she went to stay with Matt, and she is to stay off work until at least next week when the school opens again. And I told her she had to apologise to Charlotte"
"That's how I would have dealt with it" she confirmed, sighing in relief
"So, what is this new counsellor like?" she added
"She seems great. We have her for the week, maybe a little longer. She's been fantastic with the kids, Janeece especially" he replied
Rachel frowned at the mention of Janeece. As with Steph, she hadn't expected her to be at school today. In fact, she had told Janeece last night to stay at home today.
Eddie caught onto her confusion.
"Janeece didn't want to stay at home. She said Maxine wouldn't have wanted her to. In fact, I think its better that she came in so she could have the proper support"
Rachel nodded quietly. She had told Janeece to stay at home today, thinking it was what she needed. She'd been wrong, again. It was another lapse in judgment on her behalf, another mistake to add to her growing list. Janeece needed support and people to talk to, not to sit at home, drowning in her grief. She was glad Janeece had taken initiative and had gone to school.
"How did she seem to you? Janeece, I mean" she asked
"As can be expected. She was upset. We had a chat before Charlotte came up and took her to her office" he explained
"I can't imagine what she must be feeling. Losing your best friend is one thing, watching them die is another" she sighed, sitting up slowly
"I know. But Janeece is strong, she'll get through this. Charlotte has been great with her today. I'm not saying things will fix themselves in a heartbeat, but if Charlotte can help her enough to get her to concentrate on her A-levels, she'll be well on her way"
Rachel nodded, staring at her hands. Janeece getting her A-levels wouldn't change the fact that she was grieving her best friend. It wouldn't bring Maxine back, or stop the pain. Maxine was gone, because her Head Teacher had failed to protect her.
"Now, we've talked about my day, it's your turn to tell me about yours" Eddie told her, smiling softly
Rachel sighed, the relief turning to dread. She didn't even know where to start.
She flinched, pulling away as Eddie reached out to cup her cheek with his hand. As much as she wanted and craved it, she didn't deserve the affection or comfort he was trying to give her.
Eddie retracted his hand, trying to mask his hurt.
"Did you go to the Doctors?" he asked, breaking the silence
She nodded silently, her eyes glued to her hands.
Eddie sighed in relief at the fact that she'd at least gone to the Doctors. But it didn't reassure him. From the way she was acting, he knew something was wrong. It made him panic. Maybe it was worse than he'd thought. Maybe he should have gone with her after all.
"What did they say?" he questioned gently
Rachel shook her head, her eyes welling up with tears. How could she tell him?
Eddie grabbed her hands, rubbing the backs of them with his thumbs in an attempt to comfort her.
"Rach, please?" he begged
He watched as she took a deep, shaky breath.
"I can't" she whispered tearfully
Eddie cupped her cheek, grateful that she didn't pull away this time. He brushed her tears away with his fingers. His heart threatened to break at the look she gave him. It was one filled with so many emotions; he couldn't decide which one was at the forefront.
"Rach, whatever this is, you can tell me. I'm not going anywhere. We'll get through it together" he reassured
She shook her head frantically, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Eddie sat patiently, his hands resting in hers as her body trembled with sobs. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her, but he wasn't sure that gesture would be appreciated right now.
"It's ok, Rach. I'm right here" he promised, squeezing her hands gently
"I... think it's better if I... show you" she stammered
"Ok..." he nodded hesitantly
He watched as she reached over the side of the sofa, pulling her handbag into her lap.
After a few minutes, she found what it was that she was looking for. She paused, holding whatever it was inside her handbag so he couldn't see. Eddie frowned. He was becoming more concerned by the minute.
Finally, she put whatever it was she was holding into his hand. It was a small piece of plastic, from what he could feel anyway. He was more concerned about Rachel than looking at what was in his hand. As soon as she handed it to him, her eyes darted over to the other side of the room. He couldn't understand why a bit of plastic was upsetting her so much.
"Rach... I don't understand"
"Just look at it" she told him sharply, nodding at his hand
Eddie slowly lowered his gaze. His eyes widened when he saw that he was holding a pregnancy test. All the worry and anxiety he'd had before regarding Rachel's health suddenly disappeared.
The test was positive.
Everything made sense now. The nausea, the dizziness and fatigue.
Rachel was pregnant.
He couldn't stop his lips from curling up into a smile as he felt his heart flutter in his chest. A baby. He couldn't quite believe it.
He was going to be a Father.
Rachel was going to be a Mother.
They were going to be parents.
Rachel was watching him out of the corner of her eye. She could see him smiling as he stared down at the pregnancy test. His reaction had been a smile, instant and without hesitation. He was happy about this, or it seemed that way. And yet, somehow, despite wanting to be, she wasn't. Eddie being happy about this made everything worse somehow. Him leaving her seemed like the easier option now. Because now he wanted the baby and it looked like she didn't. That made her selfish. What sort of Mother didn't want her baby?
Eddie finally looked up from the pregnancy test. He was over the moon; it felt like he was floating on air!
"How long have you known, love?" he asked
She finally turned to look at him.
"This morning. I... realised when I was being sick that I hadn't had a period for at least two months. Then it all made sense, so I took the test" she explained
"And the Doctor confirmed it this afternoon?" he checked
"I had to do another pregnancy test when I was there. That one came back positive too. She did a blood test as well, that will confirm it officially. The results won't come back for a few days"
Eddie couldn't wipe the smile off his face. He leant over to place a kiss on Rachel's cheek, to show her just how happy he was about this. His smile dropped when she pulled away from him, her gaze returning to the wall on the opposite side of the room.
"Rach? What's wrong?" he asked softly
"Nothing" she mumbled tearfully
Eddie grabbed her hand, intertwining it with his. She still refused to look at him.
"Rach, tell me what's wrong, please?" he pleaded
A deep sigh escaped her lips.
"It's nothing, honest. I'm just tired" she told him, settling further back into the cushions
"Ok. Why don't you go back to sleep for a bit while I make dinner?" he suggested
She nodded.
"What do you fancy to eat?" he asked
"Nothing" she mumbled
Eddie sighed. He couldn't tell if she just didn't want to eat, or if she physically couldn't eat.
"Rach, you need to try and eat something. You'll make yourself worse" he warned
"I had some dry toast at lunch and I just threw it back up. There's no point" she huffed
"Why don't we try rice again then? It's better to throw up having eaten something, than to throw up on an empty stomach"
"Fine, but I don't want anything now. I'll have it later" she grumbled
"Ok. I'll sort it after me and Philip have had dinner" he decided, standing up
Rachel nodded.
Eddie leaned over, placing a soft kiss on her temple. She sighed, turning away from him.
"Get some sleep, ok? Don't worry about anything else" he whispered
Rachel ignored him, closing her eyes as she rested her head against the cushion.
Eddie took that as his cue to leave. He tip-toed out of the room, closing the door behind him. He sighed. He suddenly felt himself come crashing down from being on cloud nine. Rachel wasn't happy. If anything, she seemed heartbroken about the fact that she was pregnant. And he didn't know why.