One week later...
Eddie's life was separated into two parts. Work life and home life.
It had been a week since the death of Maxine. The news of her brutal murder had sent a shockwave through the school. Waterloo Road had been quiet over the last week. The staff, including Eddie, had been working hard to keep everything in order. It was one of those times where he was grateful he had such brilliant colleagues working alongside him. Waterloo Road was staying afloat because of their hard work.
The students had also come together in their grief and had set up a memorial for Maxine, just outside the school gates. Over the week, it had expanded in size, laden with flowers, photos and goodbye messages. Eddie felt a sense of pride whenever he looked at it. Waterloo Road wasn't just a school, it was a family. Eddie was proud to be a part of it.
Despite the tragedy of losing Maxine, Waterloo Road, its staff and students, were stable. Eddie was relieved. He wished he could say the same for him, Rachel and their home life. That was a complete mess. And it didn't look like it was going to improve any time soon.
Rachel was quiet. She was distant, jumpy and tearful. She had completely shut down and had, in turn, shut Eddie out. She was still refusing to sleep in the bedroom they shared. Instead, she was sleeping in the spare room, or on the sofa. She flinched and often pulled away from Eddie when he reached out to touch or kiss her. Even when she did let him wrap his arms around her, or place a kiss in her hair, she tensed up, only relaxing when he let go.
Rachel thought Eddie couldn't hear her sobbing at night when they were both in bed. But he did, and it broke his heart knowing that she wouldn't let him comfort her.
And then there were the nightmares. They'd happened every night for the last week, and not just once a night either. Eddie had lost count of the times he and Philip had woken up to hear Rachel screaming and crying out. He'd lost count of the times he'd burst into the spare room to sit by Rachel's side as she calmed herself down. He'd lost count of the times she'd pushed him off her when he'd tried to comfort her.
No matter what Eddie tried, Rachel wouldn't talk to him. Not properly anyway. Despite the occasional small talk exchanged between them, they'd often spent the evenings of the last week sat in silence, Eddie marking whilst Rachel stared into space, slept or completed the paperwork Eddie had given her. There was no tension between them. There was no awkwardness or discomfort. It was just pure, deafening silence, which seemed to be worse than any tension or awkwardness.
Eddie had never seen her like this, not since the summer after Stuart had attacked her. Even then, she hadn't been as bad as she was right now. This time, somehow, she was worse. Worst to the point where Eddie couldn't read her at all. Usually, she only had to look at him and he'd know what she was thinking or feeling. Her silence was scaring him. She was drowning and Eddie didn't know how to save her when her mind had such a tight grip on her.
Eddie wasn't sure if the reason for her shutting down was because of what had happened to Maxine, or because she had found out that she was pregnant. There was a huge chance it could be a mixture of the two. Both were big enough bombshells that either aspect of Rachel's life could be the culprit.
The news of Maxine's death had spread across the whole of Rochdale and Manchester. It had, subsequently, reached the ears of the newspapers. And, as usual, they hadn't been kind and had blown things out of proportion.
Just two days after Maxine's death, Eddie had come home from work to find Rachel sat cross-legged on the sofa, staring at a newspaper in her hand. When Eddie had asked her what was wrong, she silently handed him the paper before running upstairs to the spare room. He had been confused at first, until he had read the front page, followed by the article.
"Waterloo Road's Head Teacher is a murderer!"
The headline alone had made Eddie's blood boil. It was a crap headline for a start, and most importantly, it was far from the truth. None of this was Rachel's fault.
What had made him even angrier was the article itself. It was the perfect way to go about tearing apart someone's entire career, self-confidence and reputation. It made him feel sick.
Rachel hadn't said a word to Eddie about the article. But he knew it had affected her. It would affect anyone. When he heard her sobbing in the night, he knew that article was part of the reason.
Eddie had seen multiple journalists hanging around the gates of the school in the last week. Thankfully, he'd only had to send a few of them on their way, and those few hadn't gone down without a fight. Naturally, they'd all wanted to speak to Rachel. In that instance, Eddie was grateful that she was at home. He knew if she was there, she would have eventually given in and made a speech, just to get the journalists to back off, which probably wouldn't have helped things.
Other articles had been written, and, whilst they weren't as bad, Eddie had kept all the newspapers away from Rachel. She didn't need to hear any of it. Maxine's death wasn't Rachel's fault, Eddie was adamant about that. She didn't believe him of course, but he knew it as a fact. Rachel hadn't pulled the trigger on the gun that had ended Maxine's life. Earl Kelly had done that. It didn't matter if they'd expelled Earl, or recognised the red flags of his behaviour. He would have hurt someone anyway, he would have done something. If they could go back in time, the outcome would probably be the same.
And then, to add to things, there was the pregnancy.
Just two days after her Doctor's appointment, Rachel had received a phone call from the GP. Her blood test results had come back. It had been confirmed that she was approximately seven weeks pregnant. The Doctor had explained the next steps, which included booking them in for their first scan, which was now only a week away.
For Eddie, he had been over the moon when Rachel had handed him the pregnancy test. His excitement had only increased when the Doctor had confirmed it. But for Rachel, it seemed the news had caused her world to start crumbling around her. She seemed to be devastated by it. Eddie didn't and wasn't judging her, he knew having a baby was a big deal for anyone, whether you'd been planning on getting pregnant or not. Even though he hadn't questioned her, he was worried. He wanted to know why she was feeling the way she was feeling. He wanted to help her.
In Eddie's view, there were two different aspects of the pregnancy that were affecting Rachel. The emotional side, and the physical side. Eddie couldn't work out the emotional side of things just yet, he wouldn't be able to until Rachel opened up to him, but he knew she was worried and fearful about something. It was partially why she'd shut down. It could be related to the miscarriage or something else entirely. Whatever it was, he understood. He would support her, whatever the circumstances. He loved her and wanted what was best; even if that meant that she didn't keep the baby. Whether it was that, he didn't know, but he would be ok with it if it was.
The physical side of the pregnancy seemed to be taking more of a toll on Rachel than either of them had expected. It was bad, and, if Eddie was honest, it only seemed to be getting worse.
It had gone from being just certain foods or smells that made Rachel sick, to pretty much all foods and smells making her sick. She couldn't keep anything down, apart from water. Even the ginger biscuits and the ginger tea were now making her ill.
Eddie had lost count of the times he had woken up in the morning over the last week to find her in the bathroom opposite the spare room, throwing up or having just finished. He'd lost count of the times he'd held her hair back for her, or dabbed a cool, damp cloth across her forehead and cheeks. Almost every night when she'd woken up from a nightmare, Eddie had, had a bin on hand ready, just in case.
Not only did she feel ill, she looked it too. She was deathly pale and her eyes were shadowed with dark circles. She was weak and unsteady on her feet.
When Eddie had arrived home from work over the last week, he'd often found Rachel fast asleep on the sofa, her energy completely drained.
She'd lost weight too. There had been a few occasions where she had been unable to move from the sofa or bathroom floor, meaning that Eddie had, had to carry her. Rachel didn't weigh much anyway, but the way he had felt her bones digging into him when he'd picked her up had scared him.
It was safe to say that Eddie was worried about Rachel. Extremely worried. The fact that she hadn't argued with him once over the last week when he'd told her to stay at home and not come into work was his first warning sign, followed by all her other symptoms. This wasn't normal, surely? He knew morning sickness was common in early pregnancy, but he hadn't expected it to be this bad.
When he had questioned Rachel, suggesting she went back to the Doctors to be checked, she'd refused and had told him it was normal. Eddie didn't agree, but he wasn't going to push her. So, he was keeping a close eye.