Chapter 1, Prologue

You're counting, you're counting on me now

Sara

Five months ago:

Sara was in a bar in Tibet when she made a decision that would change her life forever… yet again. Not that she was aware of it at the time. Not that she had ever been aware of the magnitude her choices would have on her life at the moments in time she had made them. Now the thought it could be a life-altering event never even crossed her mind. Why would it? All she did was answer her burner phone when she recognized Ollie's number. Nothing unusual there. She had stayed in contact with him, just as she had promised before leaving all those months ago. Oliver being the one who called was rare, though. She was usually the one calling him. He had only called her a handful of times; once to ask her opinion on his plans to propose to Felicity;

"Ollie, what I think really doesn't matter… This is your life and your decision... You should definitely do it if you love Felicity and feel she is the person who makes you happy and who you want to spend the rest of your life with… How are you planning on proposing?... I'm sorry I won't be there… Let me know how it went… I'm thrilled for you two… You deserve to be happy, Ollie, more than anything." she still wasn't sure why he had called to tell her before he asked Felicity but knowing that she was still the person he confided in before making a life changing decision made her feel valued as a friend and as if she were still a (important?) part of his life. It meant more to her than he would ever know. He meant more to her than she would ever be willing to let him know. He meant everything to her. He was her touchstone, her true North. He was her home.

The second call had been Christmas morning, well in Starling, not where she was but that was neither here nor there it was the thought that counted, to wish her a happy birthday. It had actually been his call that had reminded her it was her birthday; she hadn't even noticed that it was Christmas already. She would've forgotten all together had he not remembered and called her. Which, of course he had. He wouldn't be her Ollie if he hadn't.

He had told her he had wished that he would finally get to spend her birthday with her again, for the first time in nearly a decade. And given that it was not to be, he would've been more than happy to send her gift to her, if he'd known the exact location where she was. So now it was up to her to come pick it up if she wanted it. He tried to keep the exchange light and make it sound like he was teasing, but she could hear the underling worry that came with him not knowing where she was and what kind of trouble she might have gotten herself into. So, she reassured him she was fine, physically anyway her mental state was an entirely different story and so not the point right now, he didn't need to know just how bad it got sometimes and how dark a place she regularly ended up in, nor the fact that she was mostly avoiding people and staying by herself, taking up living like a recluse which she was in a way. She was too dangerous; she had barely any hold on the bloodlust or the demons under her skin, she also had trouble silencing the voices in her head even less going against them. So staying away from people was crucial. She played along with the deliberately light tone he had chosen for their phone conversation and promised that she would come pick it up soon.

They both knew that her words were a blatant lie, and she didn't plan on coming home anytime soon, if ever, but pretended otherwise.

They talked a little more, promised each other that they would stay out of trouble, yet another obvious lie on both ends, they knew better than anyone that neither one of them had ever managed to stay out of trouble for long, and hung up shortly after.

The third call had been two weeks after the first and was not what she had expected. Oliver had told her about everything that had happened the night that he had proposed to Felicity. She was shocked about the events and the aftermath.

"I'm so sorry, Ollie! I really hope Felicity will be okay… Let me know if there is anything either of you need… Don't forget to take care of yourself while you're taking care of Felicity, okay? Promise me you'll eat and sleep." She had sent him a package with tea and herbs and other things that might help Felicity, plus some food and little trinkets that she knew he would love.

His last phone call had only been a couple of days ago. A very emotional phone call in which he had confessed that he had a son. A son that he himself had only recently learnt about… because of a decision his mother had made. Over a decade ago. It wasn't hard for her to recall when it all must have taken place. Ollie had been in a dark place for a while but wouldn't tell her or anyone why. She had felt helpless and the only thing she had known to do was be there for him and try to distract him from whatever it was that was bothering him. She had wondered over the years what might have led to his depressed state at the time, but this was the first time he had ever told her about the consequences his indiscretion with Samantha had had and the decision she and his mother had made. A decision that had led to Ollie believing that he had lost a child before it was ever even born. A decision that had wrecked him. A decision that had not been theirs to make, but that wasn't what was important at the moment.

He had told her about the choice he was forced to make. She had been thrown by it all and was still processing everything he had told her and why he was telling HER and why now. When he answered her unspoken questions.

His emotions had been raw, and he was worried about his team's and Felicity's reactions to the news, and he had needed to talk to someone before telling them. And he was forced to tell them because Damien Darhk had somehow found out about his son (William, 10 years old) and had taken him from his home (Central City).

Ollie's son had been kidnapped by Damien Darhk. Darhk who had been a member of the League of Assassins had kidnapped his son. Darhk who had been Ra's al Ghul's rival for centuries. Darhk who was just as dangerous and powerful as Ra's had been, if not more. Ollie's baby boy was in the hands of one of the most dangerous men in the world.

She had offered to come home and help him get William back. Even though she hadn't thought it was a good idea, not at all honestly. Not with her bloodlust and the white-hot rage that she had felt cursing through her veins at the thought of Darhk using Oliver's innocent baby-boy against him. She could almost feel the man's warm blood coating her hands and painting them red, his anguished screams while she made him pay for his trespass and the satisfaction it would bring the demons underneath her skin. They were practically begging to be given the chance to teach Darhk a lesson and show him just what she was capable of doing. What the punishment for anyone who dared to hurt Oliver in any way would entail. Her hands were shaking in anticipation of the violent and bloody crime she was craving to commit. There was nothing she wanted to do more right now that make Darhk pay for the sins he had committed against Ollie and his son.

The man in question had thanked her but declined her offer. The tone of his voice let her know that he was on the same page as her, as usual, that involving her was a risk he wasn't willing to take. But he had promised to keep her posted and let her know how everything turned out.

She had been on edge ever since. Which was the main reason she was sitting in this bar, a half empty bottle and a shot glass in front of her. She prayed to whatever higher power there might be that the news would be good. And she was not a religious person. Never had been, but any doubt she might have had whether God existed had died nearly ten years ago when Satan himself had fished her out of the freezing waters of the North China Sea and dragged her straight to hell. To pay for sins she had not yet committed.

She didn't even want to think about the possibility of William not being alive anymore. She couldn't even imagine, well, she could, but she really, really, really didn't want to. What losing the son Ollie had only recently learnt about would do to him. A part of her was sure that it would be the one thing that would finally push him over the edge, the one thing that would break him, possibly for good. Losing his child, again, would destroy him. That, she knew for sure. And he would blame himself. He would believe it was his fault and nothing and no one would be able to convince him otherwise.

"Heey Ollie." She picked up the phone and tried not to let the dread she was feeling show in her voice. She listened for a while, just letting him talk uninterrupted, not believing what he was telling her, and desperately trying to make sense of it all.

"I'm on my way home." There was really nothing she could say to help him or to ease the immeasurable pain he was sure to be in, and most of it still didn't make any sense to her at all. All she knew was that he needed her, and she couldn't be there for him while she was thousands of miles away from Star City. All that mattered was that Ollie needed her. He needed a friend, someone who didn't judge him, who didn't blame him for his actions, current or past, someone who was on his side. And that was the only side she would ever be on. No matter what. Ollie had done so much for her over the span of more than two decades, and there was no way she was going to let him go through this alone. He was always there to catch her when she fell, now it was her turn to catch him. To be to him what he was to her.

She got up and paid her bill, all the while calculating the fastest way to get back home.

Notes:

I hope that you like the beginning of this story. English is not my native language, so I'd be happy to hear what you think and what I could improve. If anyone's interested to Beta the story let me know.