Harry released his eldest son and turned to look at him, his green eyes furious.
"Dad! What's wrong?" James asked, stretching his arm out from where his father had grabbed it so tightly.
"How could you demonstrate such a severe lack of judgement? Do you realize you could have been KILLED if you went through with it?" He was yelling, but with more sadness than sharpness in his voice.
It didn't make the young boy a genius to realize that his father knew about the Azkaban plan.
James gave his father a pitiful look, wishing he knew a spell that would make himself disappear forever. Then he fell into Harry's arms with a sob.
"What are you going to do to me?" he managed to ask in a small voice, now starting to tremble with fear at the thought.
"I ought to give you a smacking, I am so unbelievably angry with you! I have never been this angry in my entire life, James Potter. And I have never thought of ever smacking any of you...but none of you have ever almost done something so incredibly foolish!"
"Dad please...no. I..." James gasped, pulling away so he could look at his father.
"But..." he interrupted sharply. "Your mother and I decided a long time ago we wouldn't raise you three that way."
James sighed in relief. "Thank you," he said quietly.
"Don't thank me yet. We are going to have a long, long talk before we discuss your punishment," he continued. James grimaced at the word punishment, even though he knew a smacking was off the table and even though he knew he really deserved to be punished this time.
His father's voice softened. If I ever lost you, I don't know how I would go on. You are my entire world. Please...look at me." James forced his eyes up to meet his father's. "You three children are my entire world."
The young boy felt as if he would be sick. He quickly moved his gaze back down to his feet. This lecture sure felt like punishment enough, but he knew his parents would not see it that way.
"How could you even think something like this would work? James, you could have ruined your entire life! What in the world made you think you even needed to do something like that? I need an answer, right now, young man."
"Daddy, please. I can't give you one," James hadn't called Harry daddy in years. Harry looked at his son, who looked like a scared eight-year-old in front of him instead of the almost-fifteen-year-old he was.
"James," Harry said again. He held him tightly. "I'm not doing this anymore. I have been asking for you months what has been wrong, and you have been dismissing me. I'm not asking. I'm demanding, as your father, that you tell me what is going through your mind. Or there will be consequences."
There was a long pause. Harry thought for a moment that his son would refuse once more. But then, after a deep breath, James pulled out of his arms and spoke, his face drenched with tears.
"I just wanted to be brave like you. I never wanted to hurt you or Mum. I just wanted to do something with my life that was worth something. I'm tired of living in your shadow. The son of The Boy Who Lived. Named after James Potter and Sirius Black, members of the Order of the Pheonix, who gave their lives for a great cause. And who am I? Nothing."
Harry knew he should have seen the pressure that James was under. "You are everything I could have ever asked for in a son," he responded after a few moments. "You are brilliant, witty, kind, and brave. You don't need to compare yourself to myself or your grandfather or Sirius."
"It's hard not to when it's in your face constantly," James whispered. "Like I said, it's even in my name."
"You have to understand...those were different times. They sacrificed themselves so that children like you, especially you, could live in a peaceful world. That's why I named you after them. So they could be remembered through you. It wasn't so that you had to live up to their legacies.
And I'm damn grateful every single day for their sacrifice so that you three get to have a normal childhood. Because I sure as hell didn't. Why you would purposely seek out that life is beyond me, James. You know I've always told you the truth about those times, even when you three were young. Maybe if you had lived through them, you would understand how dark and trying they truly were."
James nodded, unsure of what to say.
"I understand you are under a lot of pressure to live up to what you think you need to be. But you could have been killed," Harry repeated, needing him to understand this. "And for what? If Albus didn't tell me what you were up to, we could have lost you forever. Do you understand that?"
James nodded once again, this time more solemnly. So it was Albus who told on him. He wondered how he found out but didn't dare to ask.
"We have to tell your mother."
"Daddy please don't," James begged. "Please."
"James. Your mother needs to know." Harry paused. "You are my first born. I love you beyond imagination. I would die for you; don't you know that? There is nothing in this world I love more than you three children."
"I'm so sorry, Daddy." James was wailing, unable to calm down. The shame ran thick-he wanted to crawl in a hole and just die. Harry held him once again and rocked him back and forth. He felt safe in his father's strong arms, like a young child.
"I need you to understand how serious this is," his father said softly. "I can't comprehend how your mind thought you would even be able to accomplish something like that."
"What's going to happen now?" he mumbled into his now tear-soaked shirt.
"How can I let you go back to Hogwarts after this? How can I let you out of my sight ever again?"
"Please don't take Hogwarts from me " James begged, pulling away once more to look at his father.
"How can I ever trust you again?"
"I don't know." James was at the point of crying when he could barely be understood.
"We need to call your mother in here. Right now."
James continued to cry, unable to do anything else.
Outside the room, Albus and Lily were listening closely, trying to make out what was happening. Usually, they delighted when one of their siblings was in trouble. This time, however, they realized it was extremely serious. They wondered what would happen to James. They heard their father mention something about a smacking earlier. At that mention, they looked at each other, eyes wide, both wondering if he was preparing James for one.
They scampered away when their father opened the door to call their mother up, but not before he saw them. "I'll deal with both of you later," Harry called out to them as they ran to Albus' room. "Stay away from this door."
"Yes, Dad," they squeaked before softly closing the door to Albus' bedroom. They heard Harry call Ginny's name from the top of the stairs.
"James, darling. What is the world is wrong?" Ginny asked a minute later as she walked into the room, shocked to see her son in this state.
"Go ahead," Harry said gently.
James told her the whole story between gasping sobs. He even told her what he had just confessed to his father, about how much pressure he felt to live up to his name.
"James," Ginny cried. "How...how could you even think that was possible? You are only fourteen years old."
The young boy hugged his mother tightly, wishing more than anything this could all go away.
"Your relationship with Evelyn is done, of course, " Harry said firmly. Apparently, they had now gotten to the punishment part of the discussion.
He knew it was coming, but it still made his stomach sink to hear his father pronounce it. "But D...D...Daddy...I love her," James stammered. And he still did. He loved her more than anything in this world, despite everything. Living in a world without her seemed unbearable. But so did living in a world where his parents were angry with him. a world where they did not trust him anymore.
"This isn't up for discussion, James," Ginny told him. "First of all, your father put her father into Azkaban. You should have never been seeing her in the first place, had you been honest about it. Omitting information purposely is still a lie," she said quickly, knowing her son was about to tell her that he didn't technically deceive them.
"Second," she continued. "The fact that she could even convince you to make this ridiculous plan means she is not a good influence on you. I don't want you around someone like that."
"I don't know how to live without her," James said softly, bracing himself for more yelling.
But instead, his father and mother's faces softened at this. "You're fourteen years old, my sweet James," his mother told him. "You are so new to love. There will be more...better loves. I promise you. This girl was using your kind heart to get what she wanted. That's not love."
His father's face grew firm again. "I'll be getting in contact with McGonagall and Evelyn is going back to Hogwarts for the rest of the holiday. If you are ever found to be in contact with her again, you will be leaving 's how serious we are about this. Do you understand, James?"
"Yes," James whispered.
"Invisibility cloak is gone. Your privileges at school will be severely restricted, I can promise you that. And you're not leaving this house the rest of the holiday. You're going to have to earn our trust back, slowly."
The young boy nodded. "I'll do anything." He wanted to ask about Quidditch, but he thought better of it. If his father took that away too, he didn't know what he would do.
"James. You could have ruined your life. Our lives. Your father's job. You could have been killed. Oh my baby," Ginny sobbed.
"Please forgive me, Mummy. I'm begging you."
"It's not that simple. To even contemplate putting your life in such danger..." said Harry. "You need to feel this shame to understand the magnitude of the situation."
James wailed another deep cry. "I wish I could take it all back. Every moment. I'll be different from this point forward. I promise you."
"You are still our precious James Sirius. No matter what you do. Our love is unconditional," Ginny reminded him gently.
"How can you love me after this? It doesn't seem possible."
"James," his father sighed. "There is nothing in this world you can do to make us stop loving you."
James nodded but didn't fully understand. How could his parents love him after he almost did something so horrible?
"We're going to check on your brother and sister and to get Evelyn back to Hogwarts. You are welcome to come downstairs when you are ready," Harry told him.
"I'll stay here," James said quietly, not wanting to face his siblings.
Harry kissed him on the top of his sweaty head, followed by Ginny. "We'll be back up later."
As James fell into his bed, he realized everything he had lost in the past fifteen minutes. His freedom. The trust of his parents. The love of his life. He could not believe he had been so stupid.
His parents closed the door quietly, which muffled the sounds of James' sobs. Harry motioned toward Albus' room, giving Ginny's hand a small squeeze.
"Let's not be too hard on them," Ginny told him before they headed in. "We already have one devestated child."
Harry sighed. This was the part of parenting that no one talked about; how difficult it was to disicipline someone so precious to you. But Harry barely had anyone to keep him on the straight and narrow when he was a child. Even when he did, they ended up out of his life for one reason or another, like Sirius. Or they weren't privvy to everything he had done wrong, like the Weasleys.
Had he actually had parents consistently in his life, he wouldn't have made half of the incredibly risky decisions he had made in his youth. But then again, if he didn't make those decisions, he wouldn't have been able to defeat the darkest wizard in history.
This was different with his children; they weren't directly facing evil like he had been as a child. They needed consequences for their behavior to help shape them into good people. That's what he told himself every time he had to discipline one of them. Although it didn't make it easier.
He knocked on Albus' door and then slowly opened it. His two youngest sat on Albus' bed, looking like deer in headlights when they saw their parent's faces
"Daddy, Mummy, we're sorry," Lily burst out.
"We just wanted to make sure James was okay." Albus' voice was barely above a whisper.
Harry sighed. He could understand their desire to be protective over their older brother. Unlike other times, he didn't think this came from a place of nosiness.
"No more listening at doors while your mother and I are discipling your siblings. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Dad," they both said quickly.
"Very well," Harry said, giving them each a kiss on their heads. "I'm taking Evelyn back to Hogwarts. You two help your mother with dinner, please."
"Okay, Daddy," Lily said sweetly.
"I'm staying up here with the children until that girl is out of our home," Ginny told him.
Harry nodded before hurrying downstairs to find Evelyn, who probably didn't even know anything was found out at this point. He stopped at the fireplace and sent a quick message to McGonagall, so he would be able to apparate with Evelyn on Hogwarts grounds.
"Evelyn. It's time to go back to Hogwarts," Harry told her. She was sitting at the kitchen island, reading one of Ginny's magazines. He supressed the urge to rip it out of her hands.
"Is James in trouble? I heard you yelling," she asked innocently.
"Yes, he's in a lot of trouble. And so are you. We know about your Azkaban plan, Evelyn." Her dark eyes widened. "I am taking you back to Hogwarts for McGonagall to deal with you. And if it wasn't for my son being involved along with the fact that I know you could have never succeeded in your plan, I would be launching a full blown Ministry investigation."
"Did James tell you?" Evelyn asked, surprisingly calm. Eerily calm.
"I am not divulging who told of the situation. I will only say you are lucky we found out. You and James would have been killed if you had even attempted your plan. You are lucky to be alive. As for dragging James into this, from this point forward you are not to speak to my son. You are not to look at my son. Any contact with my family ceases now. Or I will be launching an investigation, if that's what it takes to keep you away from my children."
Evelyn nodded without emotion, as if he had just asked her to take out the rubbish. "And what about my stuff?"
Harry cast a quick spell and her packed suitcase came tumbling down the stairs. He then grabbed it and her hand and apparated them to Hogwarts.
McGonagall met them in front of the castle, her eyes narrowed with concern.
"I will fill you in later tonight. In the meantime, I have informed both her and my children that they are to have absolutely no contact with each other. Or this situation becomes a Ministry investigation. And I know Hogwarts would not want to deal with that."
"You have my word, Potter. Ms. Darson, follow me." Evelyn gave him one last look, void of emotion, before taking off with the Headmistress.
Darson. Gelway Darson. Harry hadn't even thought to ask James who Evelyn's father was. He remembered his arrest, trial, and sentencing to Azkaban. But the details were fuzzy. He told himself he would look at the records when he returned to work.
He apparated back home into the kitchen to see his two youngest helping their mother cook. "Evelyn is back at Hogwarts. Albus and Lily, look at me." They paused what they were doing to give their father their attention. "You are to have absolutely no contact with Evelyn at school. If I find out you have been in contact, there will be severe consequences. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Dad," the children said quickly, not wanting to find out what severe consequences meant.
Harry went back upstairs to check on his oldest. He pushed open the door and heard the sound of light snoring. Harry sighed and wished him a peaceful sleep, although if James was anything like his father, he knew his sleep would be anything but peaceful.