Summary: "Reggie, your parents were literally a fight away from a divorce."
Turns out, childhood trauma follows you into ghosthood. Who knew?
(Takes place after the end of the show, a few weeks later.)
Trigger warning: mentions of abuse.
Xx
It's great being able to sleep again. Except he kinda, sorta, can't. In the past two weeks since Julie's hug gave the boys…well, whatever it gave them, they hadn't quite decided what to call it yet (despite Reggie's suggestion of calling it the force)the boys quickly find out that they can eat, sleep, basically do everything they could as a human. Fortunately, they end up keeping their ghost powers – teleportation, walking through stuff. Another bonus: if they don't want to be seen by other people, they don't have to.
So, yeah, obviously it's been great. Except for the fact that nightmares seem to follow Reggie whenever he lays down on the super comfortable sofa Julie had been kind enough to find at a thrift store to the upstairs loft for him. He thought he'd be over it all by now considering so much time has passed, but it turns out childhood trauma sticks around into ghost-hood. Who knew?
Reggie sighs, running a hand through his hair as he has a stand off with a sofa, which he realizes is ridiculous. He shouldn't be scared to go to sleep. Maybe tonight will be different, he thinks, as he lays down. It only takes a few seconds before his eyes pop back open. Memories flood his mind and he can't seem to turn off all the yelling, dishes being thrown. All he can do is stare up at the ceiling. Luke and Alex seem to not have this sleeping problem, if their snoring is anything to go by. Neither of the other boys had great childhoods either and they seem to be sleeping just fine, which absolutely does not make Reggie envious. Not even a little bit. Alex snores falter for a second before they start again and Reggie has half a mind to throw a pillow at him, just because. It's ridiculous, he knows that. It's not that his energy depletes or anything if he misses a few nights of sleep, he's still a ghost after all, but he'd like the luxury of pretending, at least.
So, instead of sleeping, he finally gives up and teleports to the beach that used to be by his house. It's one in the morning so the sky is dark and the beach itself is empty of anyone and everything, with the exception of a few seagulls. One of which is sleeping, which, okay, way to rub it in, universe, Reggie thinks bitterly. He turns around to face where his old house used to be and just stares at it for a moment before he realizes there's a light on in one of the stores next to the bike shop. The sight of the building still makes his non-existent pulse race, even though it doesn't look anything like the home he'd grown up in. Memories are weird like that.
Shaking his head at himself, he tries to ignore the curious light and stays on the beach for a while, watching the waves crash against the shore. That is, until he can't take it anymore and Reggie makes his way towards the store. He feels himself shiver as he enters the building. No one here can hurt me, he thinks. Not anymore. Swallowing nervously, he makes his way through the hallway to discover that it's actually a gym. He looks around at all the various equipment, some of which he has absolutely no clue what it does. There's no other light on in the place except for…upstairs, coming from a hallway. Feeling like an intruder, but also not able to help himself, he teleports up the stairs.
He walks around a corner to where the light is coming from. He reaches for the door handle, only to laugh to himself. He's a ghost, he doesn't need doors. He walks right through it.
The room during the day must be used for yoga and exercise classes because there are yoga mats rolled up beside the doorway and a large mirror that runs across the backwall. In the center of the room, there are 5 people sitting on the floor in a circle, all in various stages of crying or holding hangs. He wonders what in the world he just walked into. Some satanic ritual? Or…D&D, maybe? There's no board game, though, he thinks. He glances around and his eyes land on a sign he hadn't noticed before by the door and he feels himself flush. He'd accidentally stumbled upon a meeting he has absolutely no business joining. Except…his feet feel cemented to floor as he listens in on what's supposed to be a private meeting.
He's not sure how long he stays here, but in the end, his heart is his throat and he's having a difficult time seeing past the tears in his eyes. It isn't until they're standing up that he realizes he'd just been watching like a coward in the corner.
"Hi, you're new."
Reggie jumps, just barely biting back a scream before realizing there's someone in front of him. He blinks a little to clear his vision and sees a girl, probably about his age and a little shorter than he is standing there with an eyebrow raised. She's got long black hair that's dyed pink on the ends and a nose piercing. Cute, his mind supplies instantly. She's got a ripped led zeppelin shirt paired with skinny black jeans and combat boots. He rolls his lips inward and tries to think of a good excuse for lurking in the corner.
"I, uh, sorry. I was just curious what was going on in here. I saw the light on from the beach and-I didn't mean to interrupt or anything." He spirals nervously before reality hits him, "Wait, you can see me?"
Obviously, he mentally chides himself, if she's talking to you, she can see you. Pretty girls always did make him a nervous wreck even if he faked confidence.
Her brown eyes look him over and he knows the jig is up. She knows, she knows, she knows, his mind screams. As if she can read his inner turmoil, she gives him a kind smile, clearly not put off by his rambling and nervous energy. He feels like Luke, almost bouncing on his feet. Itching to get away. "It's okay. I actually meant…you must be a new ghost? I haven't seen you around here before and you're clearly not used to people seeing you and all."
Reggie blinks in surprise, "You're a ghost?"
She looks at him in confusion, but before she can say anything else, someone interrupts, calling her name. Chloe. Before she can turn around, Reggie takes his chance and teleports out of the room, finding himself back on the beach. Heart racing, he stares up at the building just as the light flickers off. So much for going on a relaxing walk, he thinks, sadly. All that did was bring up even more bad memories.
He sure as hell isn't going to be able to sleep now, but it turns out he won't have to because the sun is just rising in the distance. Knowing his friends are early risers, he takes one last look at the building before teleporting home.
Xx
"So, where'd you go last night?" Luke asks, mouth full of chocolate pebbles, a cereal he's come to love thanks to Julie. Reggie blinks, having been lost in his memories for most of the morning since he got back. They're all in the garage, still in their pj's, except for Reggie who hasn't bothered changing out of his classic jeans, flannel and leather jacket. Luke and Alex are on the couch, Alex eating an apple and Luke chowing down on his latest food obsession. Reggie's sitting in the chair, his legs crisscrossed.
"Huh?" Reggie asks, eloquently, turning wide eyes to his friend. Alex and Luke exchange a look, but Alex is the one who says, "you poofed in right as I woke up to go for a run. You didn't see me?"
"Oh, uh, no. No, sorry. I just went for a walk. Couldn't really sleep."
"Nothing to be sorry about, man, just was curious is all." Alex says gently. Reggie isn't like Alex or Luke – he has a tendency to clam up if he's asked questions he doesn't want to give the answers to. He'd done it back in the 90's when he'd stumble into the garage, looking much worse for wear. Alex can only hope this sudden need to go for walks at early in the morning doesn't have anything to do with whatever had happened back then.
"He's probably finally got a girlfriend he doesn't want us to know about." Luke teases, grin widening when Reggie looks away, scratching his head nervously. Sometimes the best way to get Reggie to spill is to say something completely out of the norm. Unless…"Oooh, did ya see that? Am I on the right track for once?"
"Even a broken clock is right twice a day." Alex laughs, finishing his apple before getting up to throw it away. He pulls his drum sticks out of his back pocket and, to Reggie's chagrin, when he comes back, he starts playing on Reggie's head. The younger boy glares at him before playfully pushes him off, laughing. For the first time that morning, he feels a little more like himself, which had probably been their goal all along when they'd sat down to eat, having noticed their friend is a little more subdued this morning. Normally, he's cracking jokes or, trying to convince them to like country music for the millionth time. Alex moves to play on the arm of the chair, never one to be deterred for very long, especially when it comes to the mental state of his friends. He stops, for a moment, looking at his friend, seriously, "Come on, Reg, you can tell us anything, you know that, right?"
Reggie winces a little, feeling guilty for keeping yet another secret from his friends. Okay, obviously he can't tell them about his parents, about his nightmares, but….it wouldn't hurt to tell them the basics, right?
"I know, I know sorry." He's very well aware that he's always had trouble opening up as much as the other boys and, though, they never fault him for it, they do occasionally remind him that they're a safe space. Family, even. It's that thought that prompts Reggie to admit, "I did actually a girl last night, at the beach, but it wasn't like that."
"Quit apologizing, dude," Luke laughs, rolling his eyes at his friend, "Was she a lifer or a ghost?" He finishes up his 3rd bowl of cereal, and unlike Alex, doesn't make a move to clean up, instead putting the empty bowl on the ground. Alex stops drumming and sends a glare Luke's way, who sticks his tongue out at him before turning on the couch so his left leg is bent underneath him and he's facing his friends with his puppy-dog eyes. He reaches over and grabs Reggie by the shoulder, shaking him a little. "Come onnnnnn, you can't clam up now! Give us the deets! We wanna know about this mystery girl."
Thankfully, Reggie is spared from giving them anything as the garage door slides open and in walks Julie, notebook in hand and a smile on her face. Reggie can't help but smile back. It's good to see Julie happy.
"Goooood morning, boys! Who's ready to rehearse?"
"Me!" Reggie says eagerly, jumping up and twirling around past Alex and shooting finger guns at Julie. His friends laugh, which makes him smile. He can't have a bad day if he's making them laugh, right? This. This was his normal now. If only he could remind his brain of that when it comes to sleep at night. As his arms fall back to his side and he listens to Julie and Luke banter about something, his face falls briefly at that thought, memories of his past life coming back for a moment, before shaking his head, wishing he could just…will the memories out of his head for good. Alex catches it though and sends a worried look his way, but Reggie's good at ignoring him so that's what he does, moving towards his bass to get it set up.
"Hey, we're not done talking about this." Luke says, finally getting up to rinse his bowl out and put it in the sink. He flicks Reggie's ear, "You hear me, Reginald?"
Reggie rolls his eyes as the use of his full name and mocks him, "Whatever you say, Lucas," and continues setting up his bass.
"Wait, did I interrupt something?" Julie asks, eyes narrowing as she looks between Luke and Reggie.
"No!"
"Yes!"
They both say at the same time and Reggie laughs, "They're just giving me a hard time, as per usual. Let's just get practicing." A knowing look crosses his face and Alex would bet money his friend is going to find some way to distract Luke from pestering him about his new friend. "Say, Julie, didn't you mention you had a new song you wanted to show Luke the other day?"
Yep, called it, Alex thinks with a smirk, moving to go upstairs to get dressed. He watches as Julie's eyes brighten and she lets herself get distracted. Luke does too, immediately moving towards to Julie. Point Reggie, Reggie thinks cheerfully before looking at Alex, who seems look at him like he's onto him, as he passes by him to the ladder.
Damn, Reggie thinks.
xx
Later that night, Reggie's leaving the bathroom after getting ready when he realizes that Alex and Luke are actually staying home for once – a rarity in the days since their show at the Orpheum and Julie's magical hug.
"Oh, you're here. Both of you." Reggie says, confusion on his face as he slides on his leather jacket. He'd taken a shower earlier and actually changed his shirt and flannel to a Led Zepplin and a green and black flannel.
"Yeah, Willie's hanging with some of his own ghost buds and Julie's got a sleepover at Flynn's. I thought we told you. Sorry, man. Must have forgotten." Luke shakes his head apologetically before cheerfully holding up the gaming controller and grinning like a maniac, "We thought we'd play super mario, bro. You in?"
As much as Reggie has missed hanging out with his friends – they'd both gotten a little caught up with their newfound freedoms as ghosts/ Julie and Willie and he can't say he blames them, he just gets lonely sometimes is all. For once, it's him who actually has plans. He'd been working up the nerve all day and finally decided to go back to the beach later tonight. He's not sure if it has to do with the cute girl or the meeting (he's not even sure if they meet sooner than 1 a.m,) but he figures it's now or never. He makes a face and glances at his watch. It's almost 7.
"Don't hurt yourself, dork," Alex finally says, giving him an out and laughing. "As much as watching you hurt yourself to try to think of an excuse not to hang with your boys," Luke playfully boos and sticks his tongue out at him, "and tell us about your new ghost friend is, you have somewhere you wanna go, right?"
Reggie opens his mouth to dispute it and Luke raises an eyebrow at him, questioningly and he folds like a deck of cards. He laughs a little nervously, "Yeah, okay. You don't mind? Really?"
"How dare you have friends outside of us!" Luke teases, falling against the couch with a hand over his forehead, like a maiden that's fallen. It's ridiculous but Reggie laughs anyway, "however will we go on, Alexander?"
"Don't call me that," Alex groans, but there's a laugh mixed in there. Reggie finds himself smiling. Man, he really has the best friends. "Go have fun, Reg. You deserve it."
So, Alex clearly noticed something was going on with him, Reggie realizes. He's always been the more observant one of the group. Shaking his head, Reggie just rolls his eyes and goes up to the loft to put his dirty clothes away. Once that's done, he realizes he can't put it off any longer, not that he really wants to, if the anxiousness he feels has anything to say about it.
"Be back later," Reggie calls, leaning on the porch, looking down at his friends. He laughs a little at the sight, Luke's trying to put his hand over Alex's eyes, but Alex is too quick so they just end up bickering and falling off the couch with a loud thud.
"Okay!" Luke laughs as Alex tries to cover Luke's own eyes as they both try, and fail, to keep playing the game. "Have fun, sweetie!"
"Thanks, mom," Reggie laughs, though the word gets a little stuck in his throat. Before his friends can realize it, he waves and teleports out of the garage.
Xx
"I thought I might find you here," A familiar voice says and Reggie jumps, laughing at himself when he realizes it's the girl from the other night. Chloe.
"Sorry, Chloe." Reggie immediately says though he doesn't really know why. By the look on her face, she doesn't either.
"You don't have to be sorry," Chloe finally says, like she's choosing her words carefully. She gestures to the sand next to him and he nods. She sits next to him and for a moment, they just stare out at the ocean. He's been watching the waves for a few minutes, trying to work up the courage to go back to the gym. Back to the room where the group met last night. He fidgets a little, playing with his bracelet as he tries to think of what he even wants to ask her. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe- "Are you okay?"
"Me?" Reggie asks, surprised, "Y-yeah. I'm good. I just…" he struggles to think of an excuse as to why exactly he's here. "I wanted to apologize again for interrupting last night-"
"Dude," She breathes out a laugh, but her face is kind so he doesn't get offended. He finds he likes the sound of her laugh and his lips pull into a smile. "you apologize more than most people I've ever met. It's like that's your catch phrase."
"Catch phrase?" He questions. He's pretty sure his friends would disagree. Normally it's 'tell your friends' whenever someone mentions Sunset Curve. Or, most recently, Julie and the Phantoms.
"Yeah," she says, her smile falling a little, suddenly looking a little unsure of herself. "did you say that a lot when you were alive? To your parents or… a family member maybe?"
Reggie blinks, momentarily thrown back by the blunt question. He'd been doing so good tonight, barley even thinking of his parents or his life before. Now, she's gone and thrown him back into the whirlpool of emotions he's been trying to avoid and dread fills his stomach when he realizes what she's doing. "Are you…psycho analyzing me now or something? Is that something you do at your meetings?"
Chloe immediately shakes her head, her blue eyes widening, "No! No, that's not what I was-"
"Listen, Chloe, just came here to apologize. That's all. My house actually used to be next door to the gym, too, so I feel like this beach is my beach, you know? Anyway, I...shouldn't have just… walked into that meeting yesterday. I don't need your support group." He mentally curses himself. He's stumbling over his words as he tries to convince her, a complete stranger, that he's fine, alright? Completely, totally, fine. "I wasn't abused, alright? My parents loved me."
The words taste bitter as they leave his mouth and his mind races. How many times had he said this exact same thing? To teachers at school. To Luke and Alex. To Luke's parents, even, after a particularly bad week. He suddenly feels ill and he must look like it because her eyebrows furrow in confusion.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't meant to-"
"Yeah, well, whatever. It's fine." He snaps, turning back to look at the waves, but he realizes his hands are shaking a little and clenches his fists on top of his knees, where he's had them pulled a little towards his chest to rest his arms on them. Suddenly, the air is too hot. He feels her eyes on his face and, just like that, everything about this is too much. What had he been thinking? Hoping, even? That he'd finally be able to get it all off his chest? Admit what his parents did to him wasn't actually okay? Not even a little? He mentally berates himself for being so naïve. He'd never built up the courage to tell anyone in life, what made him think the afterlife would be any different?
"Oh, man. Don't go, I didn't mean to-" She starts when he stands up, dusting sand off his jeans. She doesn't stand up with him, but looks up at him, worry written over her face. A part of him wants to stay, to finally have the conversation he's been putting off for so long, but…the words get stuck in his throat and he bites the inside of his cheek to keep from reacting to that familiar phrase. He can still hear his father's slurred words, drunk again, as Reggie tried to hold himself up against the wall by his bedroom window, crouched on the floor as he holds a hand to his now broken and bloody nose.
Reggie, man, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- you just…make me so angry sometimes, you know? Why can't you be better?
Tonight's not the night. Without another word or look to the girl beside him, Reggie teleports away from the beach, going to one of his favorite spots in the city to try to calm down – the top of the Orpheum. He paces the length of the sign, running a hand through his hair as he tries to get himself under control. His breathing stutters and his eyesight is blurred with unshed tears until finally, he gives into it. He gives into the tears and memories and pain and just lets himself be. He stays there long enough for the sun to sink down in the sky and rise back up.
He knows he should go back home, they must be worried. Especially after Caleb, but he doesn't want their questions or the concern he knows he'll get. So, he doesn't. He walks around the city aimlessly, not really looking or seeing anything that he passes by and hours pass and the guilt worsens. Late in the afternoon, he realizes that the ice cream shop he'd come to with his uncle is actually still in business. It's the first thing that actually makes him smile all day and he wishes Julie was here so she could buy him some ice cream.
He's standing on the sidewalk, staring at a family of four sitting outside, laughing at their youngest son, who's about 2 and gotten ice cream all over him. Chocolate all over his face, it was a disaster and it makes Reggie choke on a laugh as the dad reaches forward to wipe at his face with a napkin, but the kid isn't having it and he watches as the dad chases him around the table. Laughter turns into crying because why hadn't his dad done that with him? Why did this kid get to have a good dad and Reggie didn't? He takes a few deep breaths to try to keep from crying. He's so tired of crying. He briefly wonders how Alex cried for 25 years straight without completely losing his mind.
Suddenly something whirls by him and knocks him off his feet. His head bounces painfully on the sidewalk as he's suddenly staring up at the blue sky with an ache in his head.
"Ow." He breathes out.
"Woah, man, I'm so sorry! Wait, Reggie?"
Reggie blinks up and sees Willie standing over him, skateboard in hand and no helmet to be seen. Great. Of all the people for him to run into when he wants to be alone, it's Alex's boyfriend.
"Your friends have been looking all over for you, man." Willie says, reaching out a hand to help him up. Reggie sighs, remaining on the sidewalk for a moment more before reluctantly taking his hand. Once standing, Reggie realizes he's a little dizzy. Willie notices too and puts a hand on his shoulder to stead him.
"Maybe we should get you checked out," Willie says nervously and it makes Reggie laugh.
"By who? A ghost doctor? I'm fine, Willie."
Willie blinks before he laughs too, "I guess you're right. Sorry again, man."
"Don't worry about it." Reggie reaches up and realizes his head is actually bleeding. He sighs and wipes it on his jeans, not really caring one way or the other if it ruins them. "Wow, didn't realize that was a thing that could happen."
"Me either," Willie says, looking at him skeptically, "You sure you're okay?"
Reggie nods and the two start to walk down the sidewalk, Willie holding onto his skateboard.
"Soooo…you wanna talk about why your friends have a search party for you right now?"
Reggie's not exactly close with Willie, after the whole Caleb thing, but he knows enough about him to trust him. Alex is a pretty good judge of character.
"I had a bad day so I've just been kind of walking around…I didn't mean to make them worry…" Reggie shrugs, guilt gnawing at him once again. He can just picture Alex's worried face, which is usually his normal face considering he's always worried about something. Luke's pissed off expression. He should have gone straight home after last night. Feeling ten times worse, Reggie starts picking at his nails as they turn a corner by the park.
"Been there, my man." Willie says, sympathy written all over his face. It doesn't sting like Reggie thinks it might. In fact, it might actually help if he could talk to someone that doesn't exactly know all that much about him.
"I think I'll head home." Reggie says instead, putting off the dreaded conversation for another time, yet again. Willie looks hesitant, as if he knows that's not what Reggie had meant to say, but finally he just shrugs.
"Want me to go with you?"
"Nah, I'm good. Thanks, Willie."
Willie just nods, throwing his skateboard down, "Alright, catch ya later, dude."
Reggie merely nods, returns Willie's fist bump and watches, for a moment, as the skateboarder skates away. He takes a deep breath. Well, time to face the music.
When he teleports back to the garage, he's outside of it, just a few feet away. He bites at his lip, worrying it so much that it starts to bleed. He tries to come up with an excuse, but they all sound so…fake. He's not sure how he managed all the lies before, back in the day, because now it's just exhausting.
"You gonna stand out here all day?" A familiar voice asks and he jumps when he sees Alex and Luke's walk through the garage door to stand front of him, both of them have their arms crossed over their chests. A united front, Reggie thinks, a little bitterly then feels guilty. If it'd been either of them who disappeared for an entire day, he knows he'd be doing the same thing.
"Maybe. It's nice out here." Reggie tries to joke, but it falls flat. His friends aren't in the mood for joking and to be honest, neither is he, for once. He suddenly feels his age and shifts a little on his feet. "I wasn't sure-"
"Wasn't sure, what, man?" Luke says, trying to be gentle, but it's clear he's pissed. "You've been gone for almost an entire day! After Caleb, I thought it went unsaid that we'd always check in with each other. On top of that, you missed rehearsal."
Alex slaps him upside the head, "Not that that's our biggest worry. Right?"
"Right." Luke says, a little reluctantly before facing Reggie again, "What happened? I- jesus, Reg, is that…blood? What the hell happened?"
Reggie had been worrying himself to another death so he'd completely forgotten about his head wound. It's not a big deal, barely even a scratch. He puts a hand to his forehead and winces when his hand comes back with a little blood on his fingers.
"Yep. Fun fact: we can bleed now."
"Not what I'd consider a fun fact, bro. I'll get the first aid kit. Come on." Alex says, pulling at Reggie's hand so he follows. Reluctantly, he does. He's pushed onto the couch none-too-gently by Luke. Another familiar scene, Reggie thinks, sadly.
"So, you wanna tell us what happened?" Alex pries as sits on the coffee table in front of Reggie, first-aid box in his lap.
"Willie needs to watch where he's going." Reggie laughs a little, trying to ease the tension. "What was it you said when you first met him? He pancaked me."
"Willie? Typical." Alex laughs fondly at the mention of his boyfriend before frowning, "That's good to know how you got injured, but-"
"He was referring to the whole MIA act you pulled." Luke grumbles before finally plopping down on the couch next to Reg. His leg starts to bounce, "Did you…see your parents or something?"
Startled by the fact that his friend hit the hammer so close to the nail, Reggie's silent as his eyes drift to the floor, his hands twisting in his lap as he starts to pick at his nails.
"Quit that," Alex slaps at his hands, "so, it was something to do with the people who shall not be named." When Reggie doesn't say anything, Alex looks up at him, sadness on his face. Reggie hates that look and quickly looks away.
"Listen, I'm sorry, okay?" He says, a little frustrated. He'd been resigned to telling them the truth a few minutes ago, but now he feels backed into a corner. He can't tell them. They'd look at him differently. Would they kick him out of the band? No, that's insane. They wouldn't. And yet, he can't help thinking that telling them is the worst idea he's ever had. He can't, he can't, he can't. "I shouldn't have ghosted – literally – but I'm okay. I just really don't really to talk about it right now."
"Yeah? Well, we didn't want to worry ourselves half to death for the millionth time, but we did!" Luke snaps, his anger getting the better of him, "This isn't the first time you've done this, you know. You think we don't notice, but we do."
Reggie flinches, actually flinches, at that. Lukes eyes bare into him and he suddenly feels like he's on trial and Luke's already deemed him guilty. He backs up a little, seemingly regretful, but clenches his jaw. There's no apology anywhere on his face. He meant what he said. Maybe he regrets how he said it, but the truth is there. Reggie swallows, staring at his friend with wide eyes as he tries to think about what to do next. There's a long silence. Alex looks between the two, worriedly. And suddenly he can't take it anymore. Their looks, their questions. All of it.
"Sorry I'm such an inconvenience." Reggie finally snaps, "I don't I ask you to worry- don't put that on me." he stands up, grabbing the washcloth out of Alex's hands along with the antibiotic and quickly moves towards the bathroom to clean himself up. His face feels flushed and he's not sure if he's more embarrassed or hurt. He opens the door to the bathroom, intending on slamming it shut behind him when a foot stops it. Luke. Glaring at him, concern and sympathy written all over his face.
"Reggie, look, man, I-I say things in the heat of the moment and-I"
"Get out, Luke." Reggie stares at his friend in the mirror, knowing he looks as serious as he ever has. They've always respected each other privacies. Even when they were pissed at each other. Alex has acted on the rule a lot, he's always wanting privacy. Luke and Reggie, not so much. They both need others company to feel relaxed. Except for now. It must spook Luke because his face pales and he just nods, finally moving out of the doorway. Reggie doesn't slam the door, but he doesn't close it gently either. When he's done disinfecting his wound – could ghosts even get infections? – he stands at the sink, staring at his reflection. All these years later and you're still the scared little kid you've always been, he thinks, bitterly. He pushes back the tears with great effort before finally exiting the bathroom, not meeting either of their eyes as he puts the antibacterial back in the first aid kid and grabs a couple of band aids. He moves back to the bathroom to put them on quickly. Neither of his friends say anything as he does so after he's finished, he teleports himself to his bed. He doesn't come down the rest of the night. Even when Julie comes in, asking about him. He could listen to them, but tunes them out, choosing instead to stare up at the ceiling. He wonders, not for the first time, why he can't just be normal. Why he can't tell his friends about the pain he went through with his parents? He feels tears start to form and he rolls over on his left side, back to the rest of the garage and tries to fall asleep.
Xx
He wakes up to voices. Feeling a little groggy, it takes him a few seconds to realize he knows that voice, but it's not Julie. It's not Flynn. It's Chloe's. She's here?! The girl from the beach, from the support group. She's here. In the garage. Talking to Luke and Alex- he feels panic rise in his chest. He can't let that happen. There's no telling what she'll say-
He immediately teleports downstairs, bedhead and all.
Luke immediately laughs at his appearance, despite the tension going on, there's no way he wouldn't. "Dude you got a serious case of bedhead."
Reggie ignores him, focusing on the girl in front of him.
"Hey, there you are." She says cheerfully, as if it's not weird as hell she found him. "How are you?"
"What are you doing here?" Reggie ignores her question. Shaking his head, he opens the garage door without waiting for her response, "Never mind, let's just…talk out here."
Alex and Luke look surprised and a little hurt by his dismissal and Reggie fights back the automatic response to explain so he offers them a small smile, which probably doesn't help his case, but he has to do something. Not telling them everything is weird.
The girl nods and follows him outside. He realizes too late that he should probably be worried about them listening in, but it's too late for that now.
The girl gives him a small smile, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ears, clearly nervous.
"How'd you find out where I live?" Reggie questions, trying not to sound as freaked out as he is.
"You left this at the beach when you poofed away." She holds up a small black notebook. His songs, his mind automatically supplies. His most personal, intimate songs. He immediately reaches for it and she pulls it back, "First," Chloe says with a smile, "I just want to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you. I should know more than anyone how much that sucks."
Reggie pulls his hand back and looks at her to see if she really means it. When he comes to the conclusion that she's sincere, he realizes just how on edge he'd been since their conversation and he feels himself relax a little.
"Thanks. I, um, appreciate that. I don't really talk about it," he lets out a laugh and rolls his eyes, "as if that isn't obvious. Luke and Alex, my friends in there, they don't really-"
"Know much about it." She says, nodding in understanding. "I get it."
"You do, don't you?" He says, softly. She had been in that meeting, too, after all. Her face falls a little, but she nods. "God, I'm sorry."
She lets out a loud laugh that goes on long enough that he finds himself doing the same when he remembers her words at the beach.
you apologize more than most people I've ever met.
It's funny in the way some things are. Like, if you laugh, you don't cry about them. He realizes with a jolt that it's been too long since he's felt a commonality about…what he went through. Back in the day, he'd ran into a few kids every now and then who had the same situation, whether on the street or at school. He usually never stopped to talk to them though – asked them how they handled it unless they came up to him, recognizing the sad look that would cross his face every now and then. He just shouldered onwards. Until now.
"I'm going to start a tally," Chloe says, once their laughs die out to small giggles. "You're at 3 so far, Reggie, in case you were wondering."
"How'd you know-" She lifts up the notebook and flips it around. There, in red ink, is his name and address to the garage. There's no way he'd ever put his house address on it. "Oh. Thanks."
She just nods, holding it out to him again. He raises an eyebrow at her skeptically, but reaches forward nonetheless. She lets him take it and he releases a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Not that he needed it anyway. "Did you, uh, read any of it?"
She scoffs, looking a little offended at the suggestion, "No. No, I wouldn't do that."
He raises an eyebrow, wondering what that was about, but realizes he doesn't know this girl, but somehow, he doesn't doubt her words. He merely nods, running a hand over his hair and wincing. Luke hadn't been lying – this is, in fact, a serious case of bedhead.
"I also wanted to say, and I know I'm probably on thin ice here, but we meet every other day in the same room you found us in at 6."
"I…" He feels panic start to rise at the thought of showing up again. It must show on his face because she merely shakes her head and offers a kind smile. She hesitantly reaches out before placing a hand on his arm.
"No pressure, my guy. Just wanted you to know." She waits for him to nod before she steps back, clearly intending on leaving.
"Thanks, Chloe. Um, I like your name, by the way."'
He winces inwardly at that. What the hell, Reggie?!
"Thanks, Reggie. I like yours too." She pauses before adding, "If you won't talk to me, or the group, you should really try to talk to them." She nods towards the garage. "I only just met them, but they really love you, you know."
Reggie's quiet for a few moments, overwhelmed with everything that's happened in the past couple of days. "Yeah, I know. Thanks, Chloe."
She nods and poofs away. He stands there in the driveway for probably a little too long before making his way back to the garage.
To his surprise, Luke and Alex don't immediately attack him as soon as he walks back in. Instead, Luke's on the couch, pen in his mouth as he looks over the notebook cradled in his lap. Alex must be in the bathroom because all Reggie can hear is running water. Reggie looks towards the loft for a moment before looking back at Luke. Hesitantly, he moves forward and sits next to him on the couch, his notebook tucked away in his pajama pocket. There's so much he wants to say, but he doesn't know where to start.
Turns out, he doesn't have to.
"Reg! Hey, tell me what you think about this-" and with that, Luke starts singing part of a melody Reggie's never heard before. Words from last night's fight echo in Reggie's head and he stares at Luke in a mixture of confusion and doubt. Luke stops singing and raises an eyebrow at his friend, questioningly. Almost as if to say, if you want to talk about something else, go right ahead. If not, that's cool, too. Reggie feels himself relax further into the couch. They weren't going to make him talk, at least…not yet. "I like it" he says with a smile before suggesting another lyric that makes Luke's eyes bug out and he quickly writes it down. It feels good, making music. Hanging with the boys. Almost as if everything is completely fine.
That is, until their next show.