64) So Tame My Flesh And Fix My Eyes
Carolyn looked up as the big blue-eyed gǒu niáng yǎng de came into the galley and began to make coffee. He knew where everything was, moved around as if he'd never left the boat. "You want some," The gruff voice inquired, and she shook her head.
"I have enough trouble with this gorram thing," She looked back at the parts of the gun scattered over the cloth covering part of the table. "I don't think caffeine's gonna make me any better at it." Riddick and River had been adamant that even if she couldn't aim very well, she had to be comfortable enough with a gun to carry one.
Jack had pouted for a long afternoon when she'd heard Carolyn was getting gun lessons and she wasn't. Carolyn doesn't have hand to hand combat experience, she'd pointed out, why does she get to learn about guns and I don't. Riddick had rolled his eyes so hard they should've stuck in the back of his head.
He'd also been disinclined to explain himself to Jack and Carolyn didn't really blame him. They had enough on their plates without Jack getting petulant.
Mal strode into the galley with Jack on his heels, predictably, trying to make the same argument, "Why? If she's learning why can't I?"
"Jack," Mal pointed at a chair at the opposite end of the table from Carolyn and the girl sullenly dropped into it. "I ain't havin' this conversation with you again. Reasons ain't changed. If it weren't needed for the job Carolyn wouldn't be messing around with a gun. An' it gives me an uncomfortableness that she's messing around with one now, 'specially since she can't hit the broadside of a barn when she shoots." He glanced at Carolyn, "No offense meant."
"None taken," She shook her head. No point in getting offended by the truth. She was a lousy shot. She didn't much like guns. What had been a mild distaste to begin with had been exacerbated by Johns and his braggadocio with his pistol and shot gun. "Just trying to get familiar enough that I don't look like I'm wearing a gun belt for the first time when it's time for the job."
Mal nodded and glanced at Jayne, "Jayne, sit with her and give her a hand with that would you. You're probably better at figurin' firearms than I am."
Jayne shrugged and brought his mug of coffee to the table, taking a seat kitty corner from hers. "You ain't bad Mal, just plain as day guns're just tools to you."
The Captain shrugged and looked at Jack again, "Jack, you recall what we talked a week or thereabouts after you got on the boat? 'Bout the Captain bein' responsible for everything that happens?"
"Yeah," Jack wasn't making the connection Mal wanted that much was pretty obvious.
"And do you recall the part I mentioned 'bout the Captain's word bein' pretty much law on the boat 'cause of it? With only a couple of exceptions?" He pressed pointedly.
"Yeah," Okay now Jack was starting to get it. She wasn't happy about it, but she at least took his point.
"Then why are you pushin' me on somethin' that's already been decided?" Mal folded his arms and Carolyn bit her lip. The man did something to her when he got that attitude, in charge, demanding respect and still with such kindness in his eyes. She wondered sometimes if anyone else had noticed, how much Mal worried about all of them. How he didn't like being the disciplinarian but being the Captain he got pushed into the role.
"More you push him, the more he gets his back up, digs in his heels," Jayne observed as he took the gun and its pieces away from Carolyn and shook his head. In a few movements he took it apart completely and put it back together.
"But—" Jack was persistent, Carolyn would give her that.
"But nothin'," Mal shook his head. "You ain't learnin' guns until you're better at defendin' yourself without 'em. Or do you not recall the last time you had a gun?"
Carolyn had only a vague memory of the event, after River and Riddick had gotten them out of the clutches of Niska's mercs, coming back to the ship, Mal carrying her. The cargo ramp down, the airlock door opening, shots, loud, echoing through the bay.
"What happened last time she got a gun," Jayne muttered the question and Carolyn shrugged.
"She damn near shot us when we were comin' back to Serenity," Mal snapped. "An' if River weren't as quick as she is, Simon would've been doin' more work than tendin' to Carolyn an' Zoë." He gave Jack a glare, clearly the entire incident was still a sore spot with him, not that Carolyn blamed him. He'd had his hands full and the only thing he could've done, maybe, was turn his back and hope the shots didn't hit anything vital on either of them.
"I still say I did the right thing," Jack argued. "It might've been more of 'em comin' to take the ship."
"And you saw how well you havin' a gun worked out," The Captain rolled his eyes. "You think one of Niska's mercs wouldn't have known how to deal with a gun same as River? She's just a lot faster." That only served to make Jack look more mulish and Mal rubbed the back of his neck tiredly, "You got off two shots, neither of 'em hit anything but the hull and then they would've swarmed the ship. They'd've taken you and Kaylee right then and there."
"What were we supposed to do then," The girl snapped back. "Use foul language and hope they're intimidated by a wrench and two girls?"
"Stay hidden. Keep encryptin' the locks, keep 'em out as long as you could," Mal had the air of a man tired of repeating himself. "Which I do believe I mentioned at the time." He held up his hand when it seemed Jack would've kept arguing. "I'm done talkin' on this Jack. No touchin' guns. Not until you can keep one from bein' taken away from you."
Jack looked down at Jayne and Carolyn, her eyes on the big goateed gun hand, "What did you learn first, how to shoot or how to fight?"
"Oh, now don' be lookin' to bring me into this," Jayne held up his hands in surrender. "I ain't no kind of example to look to. I been fightin', stealin' an' killin' for longer'n you've been alive."
"But what did you learn first," Jack persisted, and Jayne raised his eyes heavenward as if pleading for intercession from the Almighty.
"I learnt to steal," He said finally. "Stole so I could afford a gun. Got in fights because sometimes I got caught stealin' and had to get free. Got better at both." He looked at Mal with an apologetic expression clearly not wanting to undermine the Captain's argument. "I was twelve, needed a shotgun for huntin'…" Those dark blue eyes fixed on Jack, "But I weren't buyin' a side arm an' takin' on other folks. Learnin' to shoot was 'cause we needed to eat."
"Not the same thing at all," Mal agreed.
"Jack," Carolyn decided this had gone on for long enough. "Mal said no. He gave you a way to get what you want. Not his fault if you don't like it. You don't want to learn from River then you wait until we find someone who can teach you. But the fact that you're no closer to learning guns is no one's fault but your own."
Jack didn't like that, fuming silently, and left the galley like she'd rather go through walls than doors. Carolyn sighed, "Ah the joys of parenting a teenager." She quipped and got a rusty chuckle from Mal and a sympathetic grimace from Jayne.
"Okay," Jayne set the assembled gun in front of her. "Here's what you do."
Mal enjoyed hanging out on the catwalks, just thinking, and Carolyn had found it pretty soothing to stand beside him and let her own thoughts run through her mind until it quieted. Another way of calming her anxiety over things she couldn't control.
Today though, it wasn't working as well as it could, not when she and Mal could hear Jack and Bea talking. To her credit, Jack hadn't gone to the blue haired girl to ask anything.
"Heard that Cap'n Reynolds don't want you learning 'bout firearms," The would be Independent commented as she sat next to Jack on the cargo bay steps.
"Nope," Jack let the word pop in her mouth with a fairly convincing show of nonchalance.
"I could show you a few things maybe," Bea offered and for a moment Jack perked up in excitement.
"Yeah, that'd be—" She tilted her head. "Where'd you hear Mal doesn't want me learning about guns?"
"Ya'll weren't exactly quiet," Bea countered, and Carolyn looked at Mal with a frown. Unless they'd begun their argument on the cargo deck and continued it on up to the galley, Bea shouldn't have heard much. The girl wasn't allowed anywhere but the passenger area and the galley. And Jayne escorted her up and down.
Jack nodded slowly, seemingly relaxed again, though Carolyn could tell the teenager was on her guard now. "He thinks if I get a gun someone could take it away and I'll end up shot," She commented neutrally.
"Well, that's a danger," Bea admitted. "Way around that is be quick enough on the draw that you can shoot whoever's comin' for you."
"That'd be handy," Jack conceded.
"Got a big job comin' up I guess, way the Doc and his sister been workin', not to mention that absolutely huge hún dàn Rick." Now the woman was fishing.
"Gotta get Zoë back," The teenager shrugged.
"I could help maybe," Bea offered. "Teach you to shoot, that's one more gun on your side, and I can help ya'll break her out."
Jack was spared answering by Jayne's appearance in the lounge area doors, he'd likely come down the aft stairs quietly enough that neither of the girls had noticed him. Jayne could move pretty quietly when he wanted to, Carolyn had noticed. Not as quiet as Riddick or River but he was pretty good.
"The hell you will," The big man snarled (no other word for it really, he did it almost as well as Riddick). "Jack, you want to learn guns, you go through Mal, not tā mā de sneakin' around behind his back. An' he's already told ya no at least once that I heard." He jerked his head at the area behind him, "'Sides, pretty sure you're on dinner duty with Kaylee. Better get your pì gu up to the galley and get on that."
Jack nodded and scrambled up, nearly running for the stairs behind her, "Gotcha."
"And you," Jayne looked at Bea. "I brung you here, figured it couldn't do no harm, thought Mal might even be pleased to be asked." He shook his head, "But you ask anyone on the ship they'll tell you I ain't too bright. So, I guess that's on me."
"You said he—" Bea had gotten to her feet and glared up at Jayne.
"I know what I said," He shook his head. "An' I just told you I ain't the brightest star in the Black. So, I were wrong. He don't wanna fight another war. Hell, he don't even want you on the boat an' he ain't exactly kept that to himself neither."
"I just—"
Two words in Jayne interrupted again, "It don' matter what 'you just'. You ain't gonna change his mind. An' sayin' you'll teach Jack guns won't 'xactly make him happy neither. You wanna get thrown off the boat at the next ball of mud we hit dirt on just keep on with that sorta shuō fèi huà."
"I wasted all this time, and money, and then my crew got killed, and all for nothing," Bea fumed.
"Yeah, you," Carolyn could get to like Jayne if he kept with this attitude. "You decided. You wasted time an' money an' got your crew kilt because we weren't 'xactly walkin' soft lookin' for Mal either. An' Jubal Early, the wángbā dàn de biǎo zi, just did what he does." Jayne folded his arms and glared down at her. "That's all on you."
"Well, if he—"
"Oh, it'd all be worth it if Mal agreed to lead the New Resistance to another war," Jayne sneered. "Yeah sure. Because a war always ends so good. Well, he ain't. And whinin' about it an' wantin' it ain't gonna make it happen." He shook his head, "Cut your losses, go find someone else to fight the Alliance." He turned to go back the way he'd come and paused, "But if I catch you offerin' to teach Jack guns again, or anywhere 'cept the places your 'llowed to be, I'll pitch you into the airlock myself an' let Mal decide what to do with you."
"You're that loyal to him," Bea shook her head, apparently astonished. Carolyn could admit to some surprise herself.
"Got two places in the 'verse where I feel at home. My ma's place is one. This boat is the other," Jayne shrugged. "Mal's the Captain. Maybe we don't always agree, but he ain't ever left me behind, even when it'd've been easier on him."
Carolyn looked at Mal, whose eyes had narrowed thoughtfully while they listened and wasn't surprised to have him take her hand and quietly guide her to the stairs of the shuttle airlock and into the galley. She guessed nobody in the bay had realized she and Mal were on the catwalks.
Mal kissed her cheek before they entered the galley and Carolyn smiled as she began to get plates out of the cabinets. The Captain strode towards Jack and kissed the top of her head, surprising a squeak out of the girl. "Did good Jackie girl," He murmured and got a big smile in return.
Jayne came into the galley a few minutes later shaking his head, "Mal, I know it's my fault she's here but we gotta get Bea off the tiān shā de boat."
"Yeah, I know," Mal nodded. "We deal with our little prison break first and then we put some serious thought into where we can set her down. Don't wanna just leave Quiang's daughter adrift is all. Even if the girl is nothin' but trouble." He studied his former gun hand and nodded again, "You should have little window after you drop Rick off, before ya'll go to pick up him and Zoë. Use the time to move your stuff back into your old bunk."
He paused, "I ain't gettin' rid of any of the crew, so shares are a bit smaller but we're not doin' too bad jobs wise. If you can live with that you can stay."
Carolyn smiled as the big man grinned like he'd been given a hero's welcome for all that Mal's little invitation sounded casually offhand. "I'll do that Mal, yeah. Thanks," He frowned for a minute though. "That only leaves Carolyn, Jack, an' the Doc down in the dorms with Bea though."
"Thinking to install some eyes," River murmured as she came into the galley from the bridge. "To show us where she goes and what she does. Lacking in equipment though."
"You and Kaylee work on that after we get that work on Dyton done," Mal ordered. "Jayne, you help with that. I seem to recall you bein' more'n decent with a torch an' weldin' gear."
Jayne had grinned as if Mal had awarded him some grand prize instead of more work. "Sure thing."
Author's Note: Yay! Jayne is crew again. I feel a little bad for Carolyn, having to deal with guns but needs must when the devil drives. And Bea seems to be stirring up trouble.
Chinese Translations:
gǒu niáng yǎng de (son of a bitch (lit. "raised by a dog mother"))
hún dàn (bastard) (individual who has at least two biological fathers and one biological mother - bastard / scoundrel / bastard / hoodlum / wretch)
tā mā de (damn it! / fucking) (taboo curse)
pì gu (butt)
shuō fèi huà (to talk nonsense; to bullshit)
wángbā dàn de biǎo zi (whore's bastard/son of a bitch(insult))
tiān shā de (Goddam! / goddamn / wretched)