Chapter 74 - Pabu

Author's Note: Next week is the epilogue! :D

~ Amina Gila

Being on Pabu reminds Omega of the time she was living on Naboo, except at least her brothers are here. It's not a place she ever imagined they'd end up, but it's nice here. It feels like... a home. Even if she doesn't know that they'll be staying here forever.

"Got you!" Wrecker calls gleefully, tagging Lyana as he chases her, Omega, and Boba around a large tree.

She never heard of playing tag until coming to Pabu. But it's fun.

Omega giggles, running even faster. Wrecker's going to catch up if she doesn't.

Boba always manages to be in the front. He's a fair amount taller than she is now, even if they're the same age.

They dart around the tree again, narrowly avoiding Wrecker who yelps as he faceplants over one of the large roots.

Omega skids to a stop a few paces away, struggling to catch her breath.

Boba pauses some steps ahead of her, looking back. "You know, this game is dumb."

"It's fun," she argues.

Wrecker stands up, about to give chase again when Lyana interrupts. "They're asking for our help down at the fishing docks."

"Crosshair wanted to come. I'll get 'im," Wrecker replies.

Fine. She's a little disappointed but they've been at this for a while already.

"Race you back to the Marauder," Omega calls, and takes off running, ignoring Boba's huff.

Wrecker runs after.

And beats her by enough seconds that it was almost embarrassing to suggest the race in the first place. At least she's able to make it to the bottom of the ramp before Boba does. He did spend his entire life bounty hunting and he's often restless with doing anything else, but he still stayed.

"What's going on?" Hunter asks, as they come up the ramp.

He's sitting on the floor, with Crosshair sprawled half across his lap. She has no idea how they ended up in that position, but Crosshair doesn't look like he has any intention of moving.

"They need us at the docks," Boba explains.

"You still wanna come?" Wrecker asks.

Crosshair sits up, even if he looks grumpy at having to climb out of the snuggle pile.

The last time Crosshair was down at the docks, he and Wrecker were debating whether or not shooting the fish would be more effective than sitting there for hours waiting for them to bite the fishing lines.

Shep had totally freaked out at the prospect of that kind of fishing, though.

"We have a message on our comm channels," Tech calls from the front of the ship, where he's doing... something.

"From who?" Hunter asks.

"It's from... Anakin."

Omega perks up instantly. They haven't heard from him in ages. Not since they parted ways. She misses him a lot sometimes, and she didn't know when they'd see him again. Sometimes she wished they could help him, but she also liked it here, and...

"He is asking for our coordinates. He wants to come visit us."

"Send them," Hunter agrees.

Omega practically squeals. She can't wait for when he gets here.

**w**

Anakin's practically bursting with excitement as he lands the ship on Pabu. The planet looks so peaceful, and he's glad they were able to find a place like this. He doesn't want to call them away from it.

Emerie is in the cockpit alongside him, though she seems mostly uncertain what she's getting herself into. She hasn't really talked to him much – he doesn't think she's adjusting that well from suddenly having Tantiss destroyed and Hemlock lost. Which... he can kind of understand. It was the only life she knew.

"I'll tell them about you first if that's what you want," he tells her, heading for the ramp.

They're all gathered at the end of the ramp when he disembarks. They're wearing civilian clothes now, too. It's jarring to see the difference.

"Anakin!" Omega practically squeals, jumping him. He catches her, hugging her tightly. She's significantly taller than the last time he saw her, even if she's still tiny compared to him.

"You've grown," he blurts out, because it's the first thing that comes to mind.

"We've been apart for forever," she says, stepping back so he can approach the others.

"It's good to see you," Hunter tells him, holding out his hand. Anakin takes his arm in the Mandalorian handshake. He picked it up from the clones and it's something Hunter always does.

It lasts until Wrecker promptly snatches him away, scooping him into a hug. Anakin squeaks in surprise but wraps his arms around his neck, hugging him back. At least someone's not bigger than him so they can still snuggle him. It's sometimes minorly disappointing to be the tallest around so no one's able to hold him. Like how his mother did when he was younger.

Anakin turns to Crosshair next, hug tackling him next.

"Oh, you missed me?" Crosshair grumbles, though he squeezes him back tightly anyway. Anakin laughs.

That Tech is actually momentarily looking up from his datapad shows enough about how happy he is to see him here.

"I missed you," Anakin tells them, when he finally steps back.

"We missed ya, too," Wrecker tells him.

"What have you been doing?" Anakin queries.

"Took us some time, but we met someone who brought us to this place. This is where we've been ever since," Hunter explains.

"It... looks nice here," Anakin observes, looking around again, "You plan to stay here permanently?"

"We... don't know yet."

"I brought someone here to meet you," Anakin goes on, turning back for the ship.

But he doesn't have to head back up the ramp to collect Emerie. She's already standing at the top of the ramp, watching them. The others all turn to look at her.

"Who's that?" Crosshair asks.

"Evidently, you have another sister," Anakin responds, "Her name is Emerie."

"Another sister?" he asks, dubiously.

Emerie walks down the ramp, watching them. She looks so much more human without the goggles she always wore in the lab. And she looks... young. Anakin has no idea how old she actually is.

"If you're a clone like us, why did I never see you before on Kamino?" Omega objects, frowning.

"I was taken elsewhere," Emerie replies, "I didn't work on Kamino."

"I thought you would want to meet each other," Anakin says. There's no other place she really belongs and they'd probably all like to know they have another sister.

"How long are you staying?" Omega inquires, looking at him.

"I have at least a few days, but I should be able to visit freely now."

That's what he always wanted. They're friends, and he's never been happier.

He never imagined he could get to this point one day, but now, his family has so many members he can genuinely not be with all of them at once. Though, he has the feeling he won't always be away from the Batch. Maybe that won't change yet, but... for some reason he thinks it will eventually. Most of all, he has Ahsoka back with him in a way that didn't really feel true even from the day he first met her. For the first time in a long time, he finally feels at peace.

**w**

When Ahsoka went to meet with Empress Bonteri to tell her about her refusal to continue serving in the military, she didn't expect to run into Padme in the hallway. Probably should have, though.

She pauses for only a brief moment, gaze lingering on her. She doesn't think the anger still burning deep in her heart is something that's ever going to fade. Not after Padme tried to kill her. She was the one who helped save Naboo so many years ago for her, gave up her own and her mother's only chance at freedom to help Padme, and look where that got her? She doesn't regret helping her, but maybe she does regret spending all the time with her that she could have been with Kitster or Anakin, people who wouldn't betray her in the end.

She's half expecting Padme to pointedly keep walking, but then the Senator stops, returning her gaze.

"Got something to say?" Ahsoka snips.

Padme's expression shadows over. "Anakin might trust you, but I don't," she replies, stiffly, "I know what you're capable of."

"And I know what you're capable of," Ahsoka fires back, "Surprised you're still in the Senate, with the rumors of your attempting to assassinate someone on the loose." There were all kinds of rumors about it – the holonews didn't stop talking about it for a long time, and Ahsoka certainly didn't do anything to curb those rumors.

Padme's expression darkens – obviously she hit a nerve and she's genuinely just satisfied about that. "That may have been too far, but you were still the one who killed my brother."

Good thing she's not a Sith anymore, because only the reminder of Anakin telling her that she can be better keeps her from flat out strangling Padme with the Force again. She genuinely thinks, for a vicious moment, that she'd be happier if Padme was dead. Why couldn't it have been her instead of Kitster? "Really? Are you sure that was me? You're the one who brainwashed him into believing in the Republic and therefore the Jedi. He never trusted either when he was on Tatooine, so who's fault is it, really?"

"Don't turn this on me," Padme hisses, taking a step towards her, "You're the one who's responsible for destroying the Republic and the Jedi. This is on you."

"I thought you were a Senator. Don't they have a better way with words?" Ahsoka snips back, "Stay busy with your politics and stay out of military matters."

"I'll be watching you," Padme warns.

"I think you'll find that to be a boring job," she throws back, turning on her heel and striding away.

She doesn't plan to get involved in the Republic again. Not right now, at least. She just wants to let them trip over themselves trying to put things back together, even if it feels like she ought to help after how much she... damaged things. But she's so tired, and Anakin advised her to take a break, so... she will. Even if it's making her feel useless already. For now, she'll give peace a chance.

**w**

Ahsoka didn't expect to run into Obi-Wan in the cafeteria at the Temple. This was once a dining hall for the Knights and it was turned into one for stormtroopers while they were occupying this place, but it's been repurposed for Jedi use again.

He's sitting at one of the tables and she hesitates, debating walking back out or...

But if she keeps pointedly avoiding him, they're never going to... sort out anything. Maybe she doesn't believe it's possible, but it's definitely never going to be possible if they never talk at all.

Before she can rethink it, Ahsoka approaches the table he's sitting at, sliding onto the bench opposite from him.

She can feel his gaze pinned on her, and she pointedly ignores it for a few seconds, trying to pretend it's not unbearably awkward to have come over here in the first place. What if he does just want her to go away right now? Oh well. Then she'll take it the way she always has, even if it'll sting.

Tries not to think about him trying to kill her only months ago.

She also doesn't want to think about the days they were together, when he was raising her. They used to eat together all the time, back then.

"Are you going to keep staring at me, or do you want to say something?" Ahsoka snips finally, looking up.

"I'm surprised you're in here," Obi-Wan states, flatly.

"Togrutas have to eat, too."

He huffs. "I heard about your decision not to take up the role of General again."

She hums noncommittally. "Surprised?"

"Yes," he replies bluntly, "You've seemed to enjoy it for years. I don't see why that would change suddenly."

She tries to ignore the sharp surge of anger that builds inside of her. "I never enjoyed fighting, Obi-Wan. I never wanted to do it but I never saw any other way."

"We were never meant to fight as Jedi. You were always saying the Jedi weren't doing enough," he objects. Probably legitimately confused, even if it's annoying.

"All you ever told me was that I spent my entire life following orders. I never could make my own choices. I thought that would change after I became a Jedi, but it didn't. Sometimes, it felt worse," she replies, bitterly.

He frowns. "How could you say the Jedi were worse than whatever you went through on Tatooine?" He sounds almost angry which is... maybe fair, but she won't stop now that she started talking.

"On Tatooine, it was just the work I had to do. With the Jedi, it was everything – I had to believe in everything they wanted me to."

"We followed the Council so they could instruct us on how to fulfill our duties. You weren't forced to believe anything in particular. You're the one who wanted to be a Jedi." He sounds irked, which is never a good sign.

"I never did understand what would come with it. I was nine, Obi-Wan. I had the chance to escape slavery, for something I thought would be better. How could I have said no?"

"I fail to see how you can say being with the Jedi was worse," he retaliates.

"Maybe not worse, but I never felt free. And that's all I wanted. I wanted to feel like I could do something that actually mattered and like I could make choices of my own for the first time ever. And the Jedi always wanted me for my power so I could destroy the Sith for them. That never changed, even after you found out I wasn't the Chosen One. It was always about what I could do for you, for the Order. So, if you want to understand why I fought so hard and why I Fell, that is why."

She's expecting an instant retort, but he's surprisingly quiet for a long pause. "I didn't realize it was still affecting you to this extent, but I can't say I understand how that led to your choices."

"Maybe Anakin could explain it to you better." She shrugs a shoulder. "I suppose you can't. The Jedi always lived above the rest of society. You'll never truly understand what it means to be lower in society and always hurt."

"Perhaps not," he agrees, grudgingly, "But you could have told me about it long ago, if it bothered you to this extent."

"How?" she demands, temper flaring, "You never listened to me. Ever."

"I tried reaching out to you countless times," he snaps back. "You're the one who didn't want to talk to me."

"I needed room to breathe," she retorts. Though it is true that she never thought about how he'd feel about it. She frankly hadn't cared. She was just too upset about everything and she desperately needed space and freedom. Not that she ever found it. "I thought you were being annoying like usual, not genuinely trying to help."

He looks stung. "I only ever wanted to help you, Ahsoka."

"In your own way, maybe," she grudgingly concedes. She can sort-of-maybe see some of it now, but she certainly couldn't at the time. "I didn't think about what you thought of any of it." Frankly, she had been the child then, and she really didn't care. Doesn't think it's really fair to expect her to have, either.

He seems to accept the not-exactly-apology, because he doesn't say anything else about it.

The silence that falls over them isn't tense, at least. It's just awkward more than anything. They haven't spent casual time together in over three years.

"How's the food?" Ahsoka asks, mostly just to say something.

"The same as it always has been since the war started. But at least it's better than ration bars."

She snorts. "No comparison."

The supply lines have been a huge mess since the war broke out, and how much basic supplies anyone can get their hands on is pretty minimal.

"But I wouldn't think you'd still have had issues with that with the Empire in charge."

"We've been trying to fix the supply issues. It doesn't just happen overnight."

"Fair enough," he concedes, "But if you aren't intending to fight and you don't want to be a Jedi any longer, what do you intend to do?"

She has no idea. She's never felt quite so lost before, but it's also freeing to not feel the galaxy is all her responsibility. "I don't know. Something that will annoy you, probably."

"Oh, I wasn't doubting that," he replies dryly, the first traces of genuine amusement visible in his gaze.

Well, maybe there is a small amount of hope that they'll be able to make this work.

Maybe. It isn't something Ahsoka has thought about in years, maybe not even since around the beginning of the war, and that she can even feel the hope or desire to make this better says... something.

In truth, not everything about her relationship with Obi-Wan was bad. They were certainly never friends, but... maybe there is something about it worth saving. Something she doesn't want to let go.

**w**

Even if Ahsoka's pretty lost on what she's going to do with herself now, there is one thing she can do.

Rey babbles in baby language, waving her hands. Ahsoka adjusts the baby's position in her arms, unable to help the warmth that fills her. Rey is basically Anakin's child, as ridiculous as that notion is, and that technically makes her an aunt.

She never had a reason to think about what it would be like to take care of a child from birth, but she is now. Anakin was already in his teens when he became her responsibility and they were already siblings by then. For Rey, it's... different.

"How is she?" Shmi inquires, approaching. She's staying at the Temple, too, with Anakin. That probably will have to change once the Jedi Order is reformed but that doesn't matter right now.

"Doing good... I think. You're the one who knows how to be a mother," Ahsoka points out.

"You're getting the hang of it," Shmi replies, smiling warmly the way she always does.

It really makes Ahsoka realize where Anakin got his heart and cheerfulness from.

"I never imagined this is what I'd end up doing, but..." It feels like she's wasting her skills, like she should be doing something useful but there's something calming about being around someone as young as Rey. She kind of likes it.

And Rey needs the attention right now, since Anakin is presently gone visiting his other clone friends.

"I don't think it would hurt to get used to," Shmi responds, eyeing her, "I don't remember seeing you this at peace before."

Probably not.

She doesn't think she'd exactly use that term to describe how she feels, but it's far more true now than it ever has been. "Anakin told me I should try staying away from everything. That's what I'm doing."

"I know how much you mean to him. He's always been worried about you."

"Yeah," she agrees, looking away from her, pretending that she's busy watching Rey.

Shmi's still looking at her, though. "I know you've been through a lot," she says, "But despite everything you may have done, you don't need to let your guilt define you."

Ahsoka looks up, uncertainly. "What do you mean?" She can't ignore the guilt twisting inside of her all the time. That still fuels the Dark Side more than anything else, though drawing on anything Dark has been far harder since she got Anakin back.

"You don't need to be too afraid to have a future of some kind because of what you did the last time you tried. And no, I'm not encouraging you to go back to fighting. From what I've seen, I don't think that's the kind of life you were ever meant for or wanted."

That's true enough.

She wonders briefly, what it would be like to rejoin the Order.

But no, she doesn't think she wants that. Too much happened and she still doesn't believe in the Jedi way. She's still a Force user, though, and maybe she can still help people her own way. Eventually.

There was a long, long time ago, a lifetime ago, where Ahsoka didn't want to fight. She just wanted to live and work like normal civilians, but those were dreams and fantasies from her childhood – a lifetime so many years ago it no longer feels like her own. She's come so, so far from being a scared little girl on Tatooine.

"Thank you," Ahsoka finally offers.

For a desperate, aching moment she misses her own mother so much. (That's something else Anakin has that she doesn't and never will again.) Shmi has similarities to her but it's not the same and it's only making it hurt worse right now.

"Are you alright?" Shmi queries, frowning.

"I... yes. I just – I miss Kitster. And my own mother. But they're gone." If the Force wasn't her father, then who was? She probably doesn't want the answer. It could very well be someone she never wants to know. And if not, then the chance is high he's dead, too.

Shmi lays a comforting hand on her shoulder. "The legends would say that they've gone somewhere beyond, somewhere that they will be free and one day we will all join them."

"Yeah," she mutters, blinking away the tears suddenly stinging her eyes.

Rey whines quietly, clearly picking up on her emotional downturn. The girl is very strong in the Force, even if she's not nearly as powerful as Anakin.

"But until then, you're Anakin's sister even if it's not my blood, and that means you're close enough to being my child too, if that's what you want."

Ahsoka looks up at her, almost incredulous. "I think I'm too old to get adopted." Obi-Wan was the closest to a parent she ever had other than her mother and it certainly wasn't nearly the same with him. But she certainly can't say he's her older brother, because of their age difference, even if he is family.

"You're only twenty-four," Shmi reminds, "To me that doesn't define as too old. Either way, I'll help you however I can."

She nods, giving her a small smile. It means a lot to hear someone offering that, especially when it feels like she can actually take that offer now. Shmi certainly will never take the place of her mother but that's not really what she's offering anyway. She can still be family.

**w**

Anakin finally comes back from visiting his clone friends about a week later. She doesn't mean to be itchy, but she misses him unbearably already, even if he's hardly been gone. "Have fun on the trip, tiny Skyguy?" Ahsoka asks cheerfully.

"Yes, Snips," he retaliates, grinning.

"Why don't you tell me about it?" she suggests.

"And you tell me about what you've been doing."

"Taking care of your... child. Not much to tell."

Anakin laughs. "There might be. Let's go check on her."

They do, while Anakin rambles about his trip to some island somewhere before finally suggesting that they meditate together. Ahsoka agrees.

The way the Force flows around Anakin, the sheer brilliance and intensity and lightness is something that's practically addicting. It's also something Ahsoka can let herself focus on a little when she's meditating alongside him. Having him with her is calming like nothing else and maybe that's hardly the Jedi or the Sith way to meditate, but she's not really either anymore anyway.

She's Ahsoka Tano and what she's going to become, she doesn't know, but it's freeing to not have chains attached anymore. She'll forge her own path but she isn't going to do it alone this time. It'll be with Anakin at her side and whoever else she can really consider her family anymore.

And maybe for the first time ever, she actually feels at peace.

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