"Okay. That was a lot for a first episode."
"Why was that so heartbreaking?"
"Right? I felt actual emotion watching that. What the fuck."
Someone shifted. "Are we going to watch the next episode?"
Kei nodded. "I'm just waiting for you guys to settle down. It could take a while. I've done this before."
"What?"
"Shown someone their own life story? Yep. Been there, done that. It's kind of my job by now."
"Oh."
Mutters passed through the crowd, exchanged like notes in class.
When silence finally fell, Kei moved on to the next episode.
Mob sat up from his futon, hair messy.
Kageyama Shigeo, also known as "Mob." A second-year in middle school.
He stretched.
The second year of middle school kicks off the most sensitive point in someone's life. People call it "adolescence."
Tsubomi was shown. Some people hone their bodies playing sports.
Then the student council president. Some work hard on their studies.
The student in question nodded sagely.
The Telepathy Club was next. Some devote themselves to their hobbies.
"Oh, yeah, what happened to the telepathy club?"
Tome coughed. "You'll see."
Ichi took a picture. Some polish their talents.
Ichi grinned, holding up her camera.
Onigawara was next. Some rebel.
"Pervert."
"I AM NOT A PERVERT! I WAS FRAMED!"
"Mr. Onigiwara, keep your voice down!"
Tsubomi was shown again. Some fall for the opposite sex.
Mob blushed again, feeling several student's stares on the back of his neck.
Mob, onscreen, also blushed. And some get a taste of bittersweet love.
Mob hid his face in his hands, let out a muffled scream, and looked back up.
All these youthful desires come together to form the amalgamation that is adolescence.
"And my brother is spending that precious time working as an assistant at a psychic business for 300 yen an hour."
"Hey-"
Reigen slammed his fist on the table. "THE REASON IS PORN SITES!"
Someone inhaled their coffee and doubled over, coughing. Others burst into laughter.
"Oh my god- he sounds like the librarian when a computer is broken-"
"Ha! That's insane!"
Reigen glared at the offenders. Teru chuckled good-naturedly.
"Not you too!"
His client stuttered, "Porn sites?"
"Yeah, I'd be pretty damn confused as well."
"Yes! That curse that is on your shoulder is a terrible one-click curse!"
~Doubts About Youth- The Telepathy Club~
"Oh god, did he join the Telepathy Club?"
"No," Mob said quietly. "I didn't."
Spirits and Such Consultation Office
"A-A one-click curse from porn sites?"
Reigen, dead serious, said, "They use illegal 18+ content to curse your shoulder and pay fees. Nowadays, even curses are being digitalized."
"The sex-ed teacher when he finds PornHub on a kid's device."
The health teacher decided not to say anything to that.
"Who the hell would believe that hogwash?"
"Is it bad I kind of believe that?"
"Yes."
Suddenly Reigen stood over the client. "I'll remove the curse now. Don't move."
"No, it's fine!"
Reigen cracked his knuckles and started intensely massaging the client.
"That looks like it would hurt. A lot."
"Aren't massages supposed to be relaxing?"
"Your right shoulder is stiff. The curse is strong."
"Hey, I'm not paying for this. Sto-"
Reigen struck the man's shoulder over and over.
"This? What? What the fuck? What am I seeing right now?"
Huh? It actually feels good?
"Are- are we sure this is child appropriate?"
"Yeah, mostly," Kei said.
"Oh- wait, mostly?"
The man is now laying on a table.
"When-?"
"Just roll with it."
"SORCERY CRUSH!"
The words "Sorcery Crush" appeared on-screen. This is one of Reigen's special moves where he relieves the stress from physical fatigue and gets rid of stiff shoulders and back pain.
"How many special moves do you have?"
"A lot."
Reigen pushes his hair back, wiping sweat off his face.
"Okay but like, that's hot."
A teacher shuddered and took a sip of her coffee, shifting in her seat.
"I believe I was able to lift the curse, but do your shoulders still feel heavy?"
The man shot up. "I'm sorry I doubted you. I feel so much better! May I come again?"
"That's what she sai-"
"Stop."
"Of course!"
Mob sat at a cardboard box.
"You can tell no expenses were spared with his state-of-the-art desk."
"Uh, the massage fee for the four-minute curse is 3,800 yen."
"Hold on, let me CALCULATE how long it takes him to make that on 300 yen pay-"
"Fine!" Reigen burst out. "I'll give him a raise, okay! Stop!"
A quiet cheer echoed throughout the room.
"Success!"
"More money for the psychic boy!"
"Should help pay for the spoons..."
"Do it for the spoons, bro."
Reigen massaged his temples. Mob, next to him, hid a small smile, looking at his lap.
You idiot! Don't call it the massage fee, call it the curse-dispelling fee!
"Fraud," someone muttered. Reigen bristled, but didn't retort.
Mob handed the man some money. "Your change is 200 yen."
As the client left, Reigen handed Mob some takoyaki. "Here. You'll eat some, won't you?"
"At least he feeds him occasionally?"
"Probably the rest of his pay is going to the food."
"Oh, sure, I'll have some," he said, reaching for the food.
They sat at the small table in the office.
Mob took one of the octopus balls and said, "Reigen-shishou, you're getting much better at massages."
"Well, yeah," Reigen said, taking one as well. "I've been trying various things to improve, like reading books on Seitai. Of course, it's only effective because of spiritual power."
"Wow, I was like 'oh, that's a good speech, he's getting better at something important,' then... then he ruined it."
Reigen eats his takoyaki before stopping short, face red. "HOT!" He shouted, spitting it out.
Someone laughed. Reigen chose to ignore them.
"What a waste..."
Mob caught it with his powers, making it float. "Shishou, I've been thinking..." He said, the takoyaki floating up past this head.
"Well, this is rare. You don't start conversations often," Reigen replied, sweating.
"Someone's nervous."
The kid sitting next to the boy elbowed him in the ribs.
The takoyaki spun faster. "Well, I can use a little ESP, and I'm different from other people-"
"Really. Hadn't noticed."
"Understatement of the damn year."
"-so I came to discuss that with you and ended up becoming your student."
The takoyaki increased in speed.
"At the time, I didn't have anyone to talk to, so I'm grateful-"
Ritsu's gaze darkened. But it makes sense, he thought. I wasn't psychic. I couldn't understand him...
He looked over at Mob.
No, I still don't. He focused on the screen.
But I will!
Meanwhile, the students chattered.
"I mean," one debated, "It makes sense! Reigen was the only one he knew who had psychic powers, or was said to have psychic powers."
"He must have been so lonely," Tsubomi half-said half-whispered. Mob...?
Her shoulders slumped a little, a bitter taste filling her mouth. Guilt.
The takoyaki spun at almost light speed now. Reigen looked considerably more nervous.
Mob continued, "-because you teach me various things and pay me."
The takoyaki stopped.
"However, is this really okay?"
He pointed and the takoyaki moved to Reigen, who ate it.
"That's what I've been thinking lately."
"Honestly, I don't understand."
"I'm confused...?"
Reigen chewed nervously. Does he think his pay is too low?
"Well, that shouldn't be a problem anymore!" Someone crowed victoriously.
Or did he finally find me out? The words "Fake, liar, con artist, self-proclaimed psychic" appeared.
The room was silent for a moment.
"YOU ARE A FRAUD!"
Reigen didn't look at anyone, sighing, resigned.
Nothing I can do about it now.
He forced himself not to look at his pupil.
"I knew it-"
"Yeah, dumbass, we all knew it- because it was clear as freakin' day!"
Reigen swallowed. "What do you mean?"
"How do I put this... Instead of wasting my youth working part-time after school, I have a feeling there may or may not be some other things that I can only experience now."
Reigen's mouth fell open.
This got laughs from the crowd. Reigen shrank down further.
"Huh? Oh, so that's it. Such is puberty, Mob-kun. Is there something you want to do right now?"
"At least he's supportive...?"
"Be in a band? Dance? Hitchhike?"
"No, I don't have anything in mind," Mob replied, eating his takoyaki.
"Listen, Mob. There's no need to rush into anything. In my opinion, the going-home club is the absolute best. You're goofing off in the period you can goof off most, and that makes you a winner in my book.
"Keep lazing around and making money from me. Got it?"
"'LaZinG aRouND' like he isn't doing all the real work-"
"Mob does not do all the work! I do work as well-"
"Mhm."
"Don't mhm me-"
The scene changed to the school. "Wait a sec, Takenaka!"
Takenaka shrunk down while the Telepathy Club gained dark looks.
"I get treated like a weirdo for just being in this club!"
"Just wait!"
"I can't do it anymore!" Takenaka shouted, slamming the door shut behind him.
"This isn't good."
"A club must have five or more members, right?"
"Oh," Reigen muttered. That's why they needed Mob?
"What should we do, President?"
Tome sat at the head of the table. "What else can we do? We have to find new members like our lives depend on it!"
Words appeared on screen. Telepathy Club President: Kurata Tome.
Something sounds outside the door and one boy said, "Maybe Takenaka came back!"
"HA! No such luck," one of them laughed bitterly.
"That's gotta be it! Takenaka!"
The door slammed open.
"I just recieved a submission of resignation from this club, so be forewarned..."
"The..."
"THE STUDENT COUNCIL!" The four remaining students shouted in unison.
"Who else would it be?"
Words appear once more- Student Council President: Tokugawa.
"Oh, Tokugawa, like the tyrant!"
"Reigen-san?"
"Yeah?"
"Please shut up."
"'Kay."
Teru quietly thanked god Black Vinegar didn't have a student council like that.
"This club will now be abolished."
"Abolished?"
"Already!?"
"Sadly, I'm going to have to ask you to gather all of your things. I actually just had a brand-new club request a club room."
"H-hold your horses!" Tome interjected. "I'm not going to let you abolish the Telepathy Club!"
"The Telepathy Club bond is strong!"
"The student council's got nothing on us!"
"Didn't someone literally just walk out for getting treated like a freak for being in this club?"
"You think you're all high and mighty because of how you part your hair?"
This got a few laughs before the perpetrators shut up, fearing the wrath of the president.
"Shut up," He said, eyes glowing. "Do you really want to anger me?"
"Why is he like this?"
"Reigen-san-!"
He turned. "If you're that desperate to keep this club going, bring me a new club member by the end of the school day on Friday."
The Telepathy Club sign on the door was shown. "B-By Friday?"
"Why does this kid feed off misery?"
"That only gives us two days-"
"That's impossible!"
"Quit whining!" Tome snapped. "If we asked everyone we see to join, we'll be able to snag at least one!"
"No, that's impossible. Recruiting season ended a long time ago."
"They say it with the same energy as a hunter would say deer season."
"No! I'm going to do this! We have overcome so may obstacles up until now, haven't we?!"
The other three spoke in unison. "President..."
"We haven't done a single thing..."
A few people laughed.
-The Next Day, After School-
The Telepathy Club walked down the hallway.
"Telepathy Club? Sorry, what are you talking about?"
"It's creepy, so no."
"I've got a job."
"Abolished? What's wrong with that?"
"Uh, that... sucks."
"Why would you say that?"
"You should be studying. We have entrance exams this year."
"Are there any hot guys?"
"Do you have any hot guys?"
"Priorities," Reigen mumbled under his breath.
They moved faster, more panicked.
"I want to be able to date."
"I'm worried about the stares, and it seems dangerous."
"It's creepy, so no."
"Sorry. It's creepy, so no."
"It's creepy, so no."
Someone winced. "Ouch."
A few of the people asked felt slightly guilty.
They walked down the halls, looking like zombies.
"Creepy."
"No."
"Creepy."
"No."
"It's creepy, so no."
They eventually stopped, casting long shadows. "It really is impossible to find new members this time of year."
"Not to mention we keep being called creepy."
"Now even I want to quit."
"Sorry about that," a girl next to Tome muttered.
"'S okay. It's over now, anyway."
"NO!" Tome screamed.
The girl who had just apologized inched away.
"The President's lost it!"
Suddenly, one of the two boys there stops. "The going-home club..."
The door slammed open. "President!"
The final boy appeared, holding Mob by the shoulder.
Here we go. Ritsu sighed.
"I've brought him! He's not in any clubs or committees and he doesn't have any friends-"
"Um..."
"It's okay," said Mob. "He was right."
The people in earshot eyed him, looking a little sorry. Reigen patted his back awkwardly.
"-or girlfriends. Salt Middle School's final go-homer and all-around bum, Kageyama Shigeo-kun of class 2-1."
"Someone from the freaking Telepathy Club calling you a bum? That's how you know you're unpopular."
The teachers shared a collective look.
"Well, he's basically right."
Reigen berated him. "You shouldn't say things like that, Mob."
"Yeah, we're your friends, right?" Teru piped up, beaming.
Mob just nodded, a small smile on his face.
"Well done, Inukawa! Let me introduce you to the other members, Kageyama-kun. This is Kijibayashi and Saruta."
"Nice to meet you!"
"Hey."
"And I'm the president, Kurata Tome, from class 3-5! Call me Tome-chan!" She shouted, winking.
"Wow, desperate much?"
"Can you blame them?"
The President is pulling out all of the stops!
"I repeat? Desperate!?"
"Tome-chan..." Mob said. "That's my grandmother's name."
Someone coughed.
"Wow, you're not a social butterfly, are you, Kageyama?"
Mob looked at his lap, shoulders tense. The kid got the memo and shut the hell up.
"I-I'm sure that's fate's doing, too!" She yelled, desperate. "There you have it!"
"It really said U.S Navy, but hey... I worked with what they gave me..."
She bowed, reaching out a hand. "Join the Telepathy Club!"
"Wow, not even a please?"
"I can't today."
"WWWWHHHHAAATTTT?"
"Wait a second, Mob!" Inukawa shouted. "You actually have plans?"
Mob nodded. "Yeah. I have to go to my exorcism job now."
"Exorcism? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Exorcism, noun: the expulsion or attempted expulsion of a supposed evil spirit from a person or place," said a girl, reading the definition from her phone.
Inukawa pointed at him and shouted, "Ah, President! Actually, this guy was kind of famous in grade school."
An image of younger Mob appeared.
Some of the students cooed. "Aww!"
Things twirled in the air above him. "He could bend spoons and make erasers move... In other words, he's an esper!"
"How in the- How did you forget that?"
Inukawa flushed.
"Stop being weird and join our club," Tome said, sweating. "I'm sure the exorcism can wait a little while."
"Blunt, isn't she?" Reigen said.
The Spirits and Such Consultation Office was shown again, a phone ringing.
Reigen answered. "What's up, Mob?"
"Ah, Shishou. Is it alright if I'm a little late today? I'm being recruited into a club."
"That should be over instantly."
"No, I have to wait until the student council meeting is over, then go submit my club admission form."
"Uh, wait. So if I tell you to come immediately, you're not going to join?"
"Yes, well... Shouldn't I keep the promise I made first?"
"So it's not like you actually want to join?"
"Not really, no."
"Then hurry on over," Reigen said. "Show them how quickly someone in the going-home club can leave the school."
Tome huffed, still holding the grudge against Reigen.
"He says he needs me right away, so I'll be going now," Mob told them.
Tome freaked out. "P-Put me on for a sec!"
She grabbed his phone.
"Sister snatched his phone-"
"Please stop."
"I really need Kageyama-kun to join today, no matter what!"
A girl, eh? She must be trying to use Mob.
"Overprotective much?"
"I mean, he wasn't wrong-"
"Hey!" Tome snapped.
"Mob's not the type to play sports."
"Really? I didn't notice..." The student trailed off and glanced at Mob. "Uh, sorry."
"Don't worry about it."
"But-"
"Forcing into him into things isn't good."
"We're not a sports club! We're the Telepathy Club!"
"Huh? What the hell is that?"
"It's a club where we train to feel telepathic powers!"
"Uh, that sounds shady as hell."
"Says the con artist, sitting in his office where people go to eXORCISE SPIRITS-"
"What do you mean, telepathy?"
"Like you're one to talk!" Tome barked.
"THANK YOU!"
"I heard Kageyama-kun has ESP. Aren't you using that to get more customers? Because you're a phony!"
More guilt welled up in Reigen's chest.
That's... exactly what I've been doing. He shoved the thought away with difficulty.
"Shut your mouth, amateur!"
"Ooooh..."
"Cat fight!"
"Don't you dare waste my student's precious time with your nonsense!"
"WHAT?! Are you saying you don't care if our club gets abolished? We'll get kicked out of the room!" She shouted, tears in her eyes.
Mob looked up. "Shishou, Senpai is about to cry, so I think I'll join after all..."
"Pure," someone whispered.
"Don't be fooled. Those are crocodile tears!"
Reigen's feet are propped up on his desk. "Bonds, memories, and friendships... Like any of those things will disappear if a club is abolished."
Tome fake-cried, desperate.
"No! They don't want to lose their room, their budget, and their pointless after-school time, judging from what their club sounds like. See through it, Mob!"
"You know, he's right."
"Despite the con-man stuff, he's smart!"
"Thank you!" Reigen said smugly.
"That shady club is going down because it's meant to go down. If you understand, hurry up and come to work!"
"I understand," Mob said, sweating slightly.
He turned to the members. "And so, I'll be leaving after all."
He went to the door before Inukawa grabbed his shoulder.
"Again?" Reigen sighed, massaging his temples for the second time that episode. "This is why you were so late?"
"Yes, Shishou. Sorry."
"It's all right."
"Wait, hear me out, too!"
He whispered, "It seems like the president really believes in telepathy, but honestly, yeah, I want to goof off. But, right now, we're in middle school. This is the only time we're going to be able to goof off! Play cards with us in this lazy little paradise we've created!"
"You won't find a more carefree club than this."
"Seems joyous," someone deadpanned, looking at the dreary club.
"We have tomorrow, so think it over."
Tome clasped his hand. "You're our last hope, Kageyama-kun!"
Mob looked nervous.
"You poor kid... singled out for being a nobodynooffense!"
In the next scene, Mob and Reigen walked together.
"You turned them down, didn't you?"
"No. I figured I could take a night to think about it."
"You shouldn't procrastinate, Mob."
"You hear that, kids?" One of the teachers muttered.
"You need to turn down things you don't want to do."
"Basically, he told him to grow a spine-"
"Hey, shut up!" Someone snapped. "He does have a spine, did you see how well he handled that terrifying goop-spirit in the tunnel?!"
"Hell yeah! He's a badass."
"You're just jealous, you ass!"
Mob looked over at the interaction with shock.
Kei grinned widely and Teru winked at the kids, flashing a thumbs-up (which they returned energetically).
As they walk by, people stare.
A ponytail waves on the back of Reigen's head.
"Um, the fU-"
"Right now, the thing I least want to do is be dressed like this."
The two of them are dressed like women.
Silence rang for a moment before someone started wheezing.
"Oh my god- oh my GOD!"
"Lipstick- he's wearing lipstick!"
"LOOK AT HIS LEGS, HAHA!"
Mob went red, shrinking in on himself.
"Oh, there it is," said Reigen. He's wearing lipstick.
"Saint Highso Girls' Academy. It's a private, all-girls high school. We're meeting the clients up on the roof."
"Okay."
"Stop!" The guard yelled. "What are you doing?"
"Pardon?" Reigen said in a girl voice.
The audience was still to indisposed with laughter to comment on that voice, but the laughing got harder.
"I'm talking to you, don't play dumb!"
"I'm a student here."
"Reporting from the front gate," the man said into his walkie-talkie. "A suspicious individual-"
"Oh you have no idea-"
"-showed up. Requesting backup!"
"Hey, that's a bit mean, isn't it?"
Another guard showed up. "You perverted weirdo!"
I knew this wouldn't work, Mob thought.
"So little faith in me, Mob."
"Sorry, Shishou."
But I'm glad they instantly saw through our disguises. I didn't want to infiltrate a school dressed up like this.
"That was close, huh?" The guard said to Mob, softer. "Now, hurry up and get away from the pervert."
"Oh... oh no."
"Huh?"
"We'll deal with this phony."
"Oh. They... actually thought..."
"That I was a girl, yes," Mob said, voice uncharacteristically dry.
Mob turned to them as Reigen made a hand sign.
G O
"H U H?" Mob panicked.
Progress Toward Mob's Explosion: 30%
The number went up to 35%.
"Oh you poor, poor psychic."