Kei bounced lightly in her seat, a grin on her face. While the watchers chatted among themselves, she stretched, her back popping.
It was true she was excited- Episode Three was her favorite- but she was more then a little nervous about the general reaction to... it.
She was so deep in thought about the situation that the kid closest to her had to tap her shoulder to notify her that they were waiting.
"Oh, sorry," she said, chuckling nervously, "just... things to think about."
Kei hit the play button, only half paying attention.
"Body improvement!"
Some people flinched back at the terrifying face.
"Jeez."
A group of very muscly, sweaty men ran in sync, chanting.
"Fight on! Fight on! Fight on!"
An image of Tsubomi appeared.
"Psychic powers don't make a man appealing."
She turned and smiled radiantly.
This caused general squeals and thudding hearts with the male members of the crowd.
Very sparkly muscles were displayed.
"Ayayaya-"
"And so, in order to change myself, I joined the Body Improvement Club."
They charged forward, again perfectly synchronized, still reciting, "Body improvement! Fight on! Fight on! Fight on!"
"This is kind of extreme, though?'
About twelve meters back, Mob followed them, much slowed, painful gasps audible.
"BODY IMPROVEMENT!"
He managed to wheeze, "Fight... on... Fight... on..." before passing out.
Reigen winced. This is what he meant when he said he ran every day? I hope he's gotten better, at least.
"He looks like he's made of rubber."
The Body Improvement Club loomed over him, going out of focus for a moment before sharpening.
"This isn't good," Goda said, picking him up. Mob looked very pale next to his tanned skin. "He must be anemic."
"That's when you don't have enough blood cells, right?"
"Yeah."
"S-sorry," Mob whispered, slurring his words slightly. His head dropped to the side. The image appeared in blue, black, and white, like a sad painting.
Mob's Stamina: 0%
Mob rubbed his arm uncomfortably.
"Well, I can sprint for roughly five seconds before having to take a nap for three hours, so you're not alone there."
Tome put down a black Othello piece. "There's definitely something wrong with him. Who would choose the Body Improvement Club in that situation?"
"Right, there's something wrong with him. Definitely him, not you-"
"Cut back on the passive-aggressiveness, please."
"Well, let's not dwell on the past," Inkawa said.
Almost the entire Othello board is white, with only three black pieces. Tome stared at it.
"Come on. It's your turn, President Kurata."
The door opened, revealing Goda with Mob slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, except lighter, because there's no way Mob weighs more then a hundred pounds.
"Hey."
The club chorused, "Oh, Musashi-san!" Tome shoved the Othello board off the table as they bowed in front of him, still speaking in unison.
"Thank you so much for letting us use this room!"
"Are you always this desperate or is it just-"
"Shut up."
"You don't have to grovel... all we want the room for is to store our equipment."
Tome looked up. "What's with him?"
The camera panned up from the floor, showing Goda's godly quads. "Oh, Kageyama passed out. Sorry, but could you watch over him?"
"Wow."
"God damn. I should join the Body Improvement Club."
The screen darkened, then focused again on Mob, sitting in a chair with a towel around his shoulders. He had deep bags under his eyes and was panting a little.
Jeez, he looks exhausted. Reigen rested his cheek on his hand, a flare of concern sparking up.
"Seriously, dude," Tome complained. "Why did you join the Body Improvement Club?"
Mob leaned forward slightly, hunching over the glass of water in his hands. "I've never been the most athletic guy. And I'm a really slow runner. It's because I've relied on my psychic powers for everything."
His hands tightened around the cup.
"Huh? What kind of excuse is that? If you actually have psychic powers, I'd love to see them. Jeez."
"I have good news!"
Mob looked up at her. The dumbbells in the corner glowed softly blue and hovered up, then zoomed around the room, him at the center. All four of the members gaped in shock.
"Is that enough for you to believe me?" He said, one of the weights suspended above his hand.
"And the crazy thing is, it's not like an 'is that enough?' type of question, he's really, genuinely asking."
He let the weight drop and was dragged to the ground. "This is heavy!"
The Telepathy Club trembled.
Seriously? He could only bend spoons before!
There was a tiny yelp noise as Tome's head turned into a lightbulb.
"...Okay."
She grabbed Mob's shoulders. "Please! help me make my dream come true!"
"Wow, again not even a- oh, wait, she did say please that time."
"In a shocking turn of events, yes."
Mob blinked up at her. "Eh?"
"Believe it or not, my dream is to make contact with extraterrestrial lifeforms!"
"I swear to god if we learn that aliens are real because of this-"
Tome flew through space. "At first, I followed a guidebook and tried it out, but it didn't work. And before I knew it, I was just lazing around..."
A star exploded. "But now, I've got my big break! Mob-Run, let's research telepathy together, seek new life, and boldly go where no man has gone before!"
"Actually, I've got weight lifting to do."
"Priorities, amiright?"
"Wait, why? I'm burning with passion, why are you so ice-cold?"
"I've finally found something I want to do."
"What, putting on muscle? But you have psychic powers."
"Apparently you can't use psychic powers to get ripped. Oh well."
"Though, I guess it's more mental muscle."
"With, like, psychokinesis, right?"
"Yeah."
Mob looked down. "Actually, maybe I should say I want to become more appealing as a man."
Tsubomi watched with a small smile. You can do it!
"You want to be popular, Mob-kun?"
Mob started, then blushed, rubbing his nose. "No, not really..."
"I swear to god he's so precious. My heart. My fragile heart."
"Well, you won't be."
He froze.
"Ohmygodnostop."
"What the hell?"
"What did he ever do to you?"
"Even if you gain muscle, you won't become popular. Not a chance."
"Th-then what should I do?"
"I wouldn't worry about it. After this, you'll probably be the most popular kid in the school."
"R-really?" Mob stuttered.
"Yeah."
His face flushed and he glanced down, fiddling with his fingers.
"Read girls' minds using telepathy. Then you'll be super popular."
"..."
"On a similar vein, do not do that."
"Yeah, avoid that, in fact."
Spirits and Such Consultation Office
"What? Telepathy?"
"Oh god, you listened to her? Why?"
"Don't blame him, he really had no idea what to do."
"'S alright. No one really knows how to be popular, anyway."
Reigen sat with one leg crossed over the other, holding a newspaper. "Yeah, I can't really do that. I can hear the voices of spirits, though... what brought this on?"
"I was just wondering..."
"Is there someone's mind you want to read?" He said, looking up at Mob with a knowing look on his face.
"He probably could be able to, honestly."
"Kageyama, for all of our sakes don't learn telepathy."
"I wasn't planning on it," Mob said quietly.
Mob started.
Reigen's eyes sharpened as he said, "A girl, huh?"
"You sure you aren't telepathic?"
Mob sweated nervously.
"My, my, Mob-kun... You're so easy to read."
He rolled up the newspaper and stuck it under his chin. "Well, every middle school boy wants to be popular, so there's no need to be embarrassed. Even I want to be popular."
A cloudy sky is shown with hues of pink, purple, and orange as the sun set.
It's not like I want to be popular.
"Damn, look at that sunset," someone gushed.
"You can't get a good look from my house," one kid said, awed. "It's gorgeous."
Mob walked home, deep in thought.
I just want to get close to Tsubomi-chan.
You could just talk to me, Mob-kun...
A muffled voice sounded. "Pardon me, young man."
A woman, wearing a sweater, a long skirt and a strange mask with a carved grin emblazoned on it said, "Something must be troubling you. You aren't laughing or smiling."
A girl rubbed the goosebumps on her arms. "That's creepy."
"Incredibly."
Mob blinked, taken aback. "No..."
"I can tell. You're worried about your studies, aren't you?"
"I'm not."
"Of course not," the woman said, cupping a hand to her masked face. "It's not your studies... yes, it must be hard dealing with family issues."
"Actually, I don't have any."
Ritsu shifted uncomfortably, hoping Kei wouldn't show his attempts to activate his psychic powers; he didn't want anyone knowing about that. Or his jealousy of his brother, which would be equally bad.
"Of course you don't. It must be about your health... no..."
She lifted her head. "It's about love."
"How did you know?!"
Reigen massaged his temples. "Mob... That's not... She literally just guessed until she got it."
It's not his fault... he's just so naïve!
"Stranger danger, Mob."
"If I listened to stranger danger I never would have met you, Shishou," Mob muttered, sounding a little distracted.
"Touché."
Reigen turned back to the screen, but Mob bit his lip, looking concerned.
Shishou has never seen me explode, he thought suddenly, and his worry intensified. How would he react? Shock? Fear? Terror welled up in his chest and he interlaced his fingers to keep from fiddling with them.
The woman stayed quiet for a moment before spreading her arms. "If you want to resolve your troubles, come with me."
"Pro tip- don't go with her."
"Actually, I have to head home."
"Thank goodness."
"You'll be popular."
"I'll go."
"You son of a bitch. I'm in."
"How the hell did she know? How did she know!?"
"So many questions."
An Invite to a Meeting
~Simply Put, I Just Want To Be Popular~
"I belong to a brand-new religious order that came into existence last month."
They stood in an elevator as the woman presses a button.
"Religious order?"
"It's called (LOL)."
"Hah, funny."
"What kind of name is (LOL)?"
"Founded by our leader, Dimple-sama, it's the happiest and trendiest gathering of the century!"
"Dimple...?" Reigen muttered.
"Dimple?" Ritsu said.
"Dimple-sama has the power to make anyone laugh immediately."
"Almost anyone," someone muttered. Mob looked over to the speaker.
It was Mezato.
"So, how do I become popular?"
"Now, now, don't be too hasty."
The elevator dinged, stopping on B3. The doors opened.
"(LOL) is in no way a suspicious group."
"X to doubt."
"Literally everything about this is suspicious. You are one walking red flag."
They looked out over a room full of masked people.
Wow, there are a lot of people. Mob glanced from left to right as he passed through the crowd. I wonder if they all want to be popular, too.
A man in a green shirt said, "Oh, are you new, too?"
"Huh?"
People around him looked at Mob. "Then get on the stage."
"Why?"
The masked people converged around him, grabbing his shoulders. They tossed him to the stage.
"Wow, okay. Extreme."
Mob stood on the stage next to two people, an old man and a ginger girl.
"Is that Mezato?"
"Yep!" Mezato chirped. "I infiltrated (LOL) like you told me to!"
"Ichi, that's... not what I meant. I just said find out about it."
"And what better way is there to do that?"
The head of the school newspaper sighed, used to her by now.
I have no idea what's going on anymore.
"That's normally a 'time to gtfo' signal, buddy."
"Huh? Mob-kun?"
Mob looked over at the ginger girl. She raised on hand in a greeting. "Don't you remember me? I'm Mezato from your class."
Mezato Ichi
"Look, there you are, Mezato!"
Ah, I've never talked to her before.
"Did they lure you in?"
"Um, I..."
He was cut off when one of the followers called, "He's here!"
They looked toward the left side of the stage, where a purple-robed man emerged, a mask on his face. It was slightly fancier.
"It's Dimple-sama!"
He walked out, two fingers extended. They cheered, making the same sign.
"Everyone..." he said. He had a deep voice with two white pinpricks in the black holes of his mask.
"Are you laughing?" He wobbled back and forth.
Mob kind of just stared at him.
This got a small wave of laughter.
"Yeah, that's a sensible reaction."
"He's like bruh."
The followers laughed, copying the movement, creating a sea of wobbling people.
"Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope nope nope nope."
"This is turning into a god damn creepypasta and I hate it."
Mob stared at them.
"He's so unexpressive, but that look says a thousand words."
"Are you sufficiently warmed up now?" Dimple asked, spreading his arms. "Why don't we take off these masks, then?" He tugged off his own, revealing an ugly man with two bright spots of color on his cheeks.
"Sparkle!"
There was silence as the watchers quietly computed what had just happened. No one really knew how to react.
The cult, masks off, grinned and laughed.
"You're all smiling so brightly."
He threw his head back, laughing and clapping his hands together.
The old man muttered, "What a creepy bunch."
"I'd say preach, but I feel that would be in poor taste."
"Stop!" Dimple stretched out a hand. "Today, we have three new smilemates joining us. Give them a big hand!"
"Huh? What?"
"Hey, don't..." Mezato objected.
He extended a hand again and the crowd fell silent.
"In order to accept happiness, you must set your hearts free," he told them. Mezato regarded him, confused.
"This is, quite possibly, the weirdest religion in Japan."
"But your hearts are locked up."
The three people were displayed. "See? It's completely obvious why you aren't happy. You aren't laughing."
Carved, mask-like smiles adorned their faces, heads tottering from side to side.
Reigen shuddered. The image of Mob with a carved-on grin, head bobbing, was insanely creepy.
"Well, that's off-putting."
Stage lights switched on as he continued, "Laugh. If you laugh even when in pain, your hearts will be unlocked."
The image of a locked gate opened, revealing a happy land. Everything had the same smile.
"And once they have been set free, your hearts will have the ability to accept happiness as it comes. In order to live a happy life, you must have a hearty laugh!"
A sign with a painted grin and flushed cheeks hung above the stage.
"That is the teaching of (LOL)."
The older man chuckled. "Hah. How I wish people could be happy just by laughing."
"He's talking sense."
Interesting teaching, Reigen thought. This was the group? They seem harmless enough, but...
He glanced over to his student, watching with a silent, guarded expression, fingers laced together on his lap.
Even for Mob, he's been too quiet. Something's wrong.
He looked a little closer at Mob, brow creasing, looking for something when his eyes flashed with guilt.
Gone in a second, but still there.
Reigen's brow creased slightly with worry, but he turned away from his son disciple.
"Who might this be?" Dimple asked, gesturing to the man. One woman raised her hand. "We found him on a park bench."
"How sad, a victim of recession! No wonder you've lost your smile."
"Yeah, must have misplaced it somewhere. Bitch."
"But worry not!" He held up a mask. "Let's put on this smile mask and fix that."
The man, now held by the arms, stuttered, "Hey, what are you... Hey-"
"This is our way of saving you," Dimple said, extending his arms. "We just want you to smile."
The person behind the man put a mask over his head. One was put over Mob's head, but he didn't struggle like the man.
"I don't think it'll effect him, but who knows?" Teru said from his spot on the floor, at the foot of the couch.
When Mob didn't respond, Reigen looked at him. "Mob?"
He started and fumbled for words, but Reigen said, "Are you okay?"
Mob nodded frantically. "Yes, Shishou, I'm just-"
"Are you sure?" Said Ritsu, from his other side. "Because if you aren't, you can say something."
"N-No, really, I'm fine."
Reigen eyed him for a moment before shrugging and turning to the screen.
No resistance.
"Nonononono bad, very bad!"
One of the teachers elbowed her coworker. "We're going to have to look into this."
"Agreed. They've snatched up two students in a day; obviously this can't continue."
"Lastly, the girl," Dimple continued. "It appears you have something to say."
Mezato looked slightly startled, but still spoke. "Religious order (LOL), established last month? You managed to attract this many followers in just one month? I don't believe that!"
"Oh? And you are?"
"I work for Salt Middle School's newspaper!" She shouted, pulling out her camera. "I'm Mezato from Class 2-1!"
"Mezato, oh my god no. Why. Why did you say that? IN THE MIDDLE OF A CULT MEETING?"
"CONGRATULATIONS. HE NOW KNOWS WHERE YOU GO TO SCHOOL, YOUR CLASS, WHERE TO FIND YOU, AND YOUR LAST NAME."
One teacher massaged his head. "God, I'm so tired," he groaned.
Her camera panned up his body. "I'm reporting on a bad rumor concerning you guys."
"Bad rumor?"
"That you're using group hypnosis to brainwash and force people into joining."
She had the nerve to sneak in alone and then say that. Splendid.
"Nothing about that was splendid."
"Let me provide you with proof, then." He looked over the man. "A few minutes ago, he was a very sad man."
The follower took the man's mask off.
"Sparkle!"
"WHAT-"
"How did he-"
"What a wonderful smile!" Dimple cried, giving the man two thumbs up.
Mezato stared at the man. He's laughing? Why?
"He has now truly grasped happiness. What do you think, young lady?"
She turned to him. True, they didn't do anything bad...
The man smiled and laughed, surrounded by people.
But something's still off. There's something strange in the air here...
Her hand balled to a fist. "This story is a bit much for me to handle, so if you'll excuse me..."
"Oh my god yes get out of there!" Mezato's friend screeched, holding her by the arm.
"That's the first good idea in the entire episode."
"That won't do. You infiltrated (LOL) and doubted our smiles for no reason."
"Shit."
"I'm terribly sorry. I won't write about you in the school paper."
"That is not enough!" Dimple cried out. "It won't erase our hard feelings!"
"Wow, you'd think they'd be more of a 'forgive and forget' type."
The smiles of the people surrounding her became more sinister and chilling.
"We won't let you leave until you laugh."
"I-I don't really feel like laughing right now. And if I forced myself to, it wouldn't be sincere."
Dimple leered down at her.
"Start with a smile."
A chill went down Reigen's spine.
"Oh shit."
"That's not a good smile."
"And chills! Spectacular."
She stared up at him, horror in her gaze, then said, "No! I don't want to lie to myself."
"Mezato. For the love of god. Just laugh and leave."
Someone behind her put a mask over her head. "Hey!"
She let out a tiny cry, blue and purple mist swirling around her head.
Mezato yanked the mask off. "What is this?"
She fought back a smile. H-huh? I'm... No! Don't!
No!
"Sparkle!"
Silence fell.
"They got her."
"Oh, Mezato..." Her friend moaned, clutching her arm.
"It's all right," she reassured her. "I was fine."
"Look at that magnificent smile!"
"Congratulations!"
No, I...
"What a gleaming smile."
No...
Mezato smiled. What is this feeling? We're all smiling, and it feels really nice...
Her hands clenched into fists as she fought the hypnosis. But no! I really don't want to smile!
Someone save me!
At that very moment, Mob raised his hand and said, "Um, excuse me?"
"Oh hell yes, here we go-"
"Save them!"
"Ask and thou shalt receive."
"Wish granted."
"Mob-kun!"
Mob lowered his hand. "So the theme here is smiling and happiness?" He asked, voice muffled. "It doesn't have anything to do with being popular? May I leave now, then?"
"God damn savage."
Dimple looked down at him. "Who's that?"
The woman in purple raised her hand and said, "He looked troubled on his way home from school, so I brought him here. It seems he's having troubles with love."
Mob pulled the mask off and straightened up. "I'm not really troubled, though."
His face remained blank.
"Yep. Didn't work."
"Suck on that, Dimple."
Dimple's eyes widened. He's not smiling! Are you telling me the smile mask didn't work?
The people around Mob faded out, leaving him alone, glowing blue.
"Huh? He's not smiling?"
"Bye," he said, turning.
"Case in point."
"Hypnotism? LMAO bye."
"W-wait!" Dimple called, hurriedly crossing the stage and jumping down to the floor. "Do you plan on spending the rest of your life with that face? You are missing out on life!"
Mob turned back slightly and said, "My dad said that 'people who've never smoked before are missing out on half their lives.' It made me realize that everyone has a different idea of 'missing out.'"
"Oh, yeah," Ritsu mumbled. "Mom smacked him and told him to stop being a bad influence."
"I remember."
Reigen winced.
That's not what I was talking about! (LOL) is the start line for me to become a religious figure for all of humanity! I can't let this trip me up!"
"Yeah, no."
"Not gonna happen, weirdo."
He was still smiling. "I just want you to know how wonderful it is to smile."
"That's okay."
Dimple's hand flexed. "Th-then would you like to play a game with me before you leave? A staring contest. You'll have a staring contest with three of my smile leaders."
Three silhouettes posed on the screen.
The words "Smile Leaders" appeared in rainbow colors.
"You'll all drink milk, and the first to laugh loses," he continued, leaning forward.
"What do you think?"
Mezato, still smiling, frantically thought, Mob-kun, this is a trap!
Progress Toward Mob's Explosion: 58%