A while later, after the inevitable defeat of their comrades, The Beyonder rode his space Vespa to the solar system and to Earth. He jumped off and turned his Vespa into a deckchair that he sat on.
"Now, I know what ya'll are thinking. Beyonder, how could you abandon your pals in their time of need? Well that's simple, because I can! That and I'm not that powerful to take on the Archivists. Even though, I am manipulating the writer to type this very explanation right now. I mean, all characters can't be OP. So, while we await the Archivists to appear for us to keep this plot rolling, how about we check up on some people. It's been four years since the FBI re-opened the portal to Amphibia and things have been happier. Anne was reunited with the Plantars, Lumity got married and Dipper and Pacifica constantly rescued their daughter from being eaten alive by all sorts of bugs. There are three characters I want the writer to spend time with, so I will give a rundown on what happened to our characters. First, the Amphibia side. Sasha Waybright is still a child psychiatrist and living with her witch girlfriend, Boscha. Both of their respective parents are still getting used to the inter species relationship they're having. Marcy Wu is still getting royalty checks from her Anne-Phibia comics which she has now finished. She is thinking of making a spin off but right now, she's joined a major animation studio who make good and bad movies about spiders. And some duds."
A poster for that Web movie with a Madame began floating upwards, till The Beyonder shoved it aside, disregarding its existence.
"Grime, Yunan and Olivia became the governors of a new Amphibia. One that abolishes monarchy in general for a democratic and fair world. Hopediah's avocado business has been taking off brilliantly with profits going through the atmosphere. And let's not forget the assortment of Avocado products like Avocado soup, avocado paste, avocado toothpaste, avocado deodorant, avocado soap, avocado Vaseline, avocado lipstick, avocado lip balm, avocado tea, you get it, everything is an avocado! Polly is a full time mechanic helping usher technological advancements such as TVs, movies, telephones, the internet, cellphones, heating and air conditioning with some terrible side effects. As in, the air conditioning had to be recalled because every frog kept being frozen. And Sprig became an adventurer with him and his wife, Ivy Plantar-Sundew. Discovering new lands, new plant life, new illnesses and even new civilisations. How about we go and check out how one out of the three main characters are doing? First up, Anne Boonchuy. Or, Doctor Anne Boonchuy."
At the Aquarium of the Pacific, 27 year old Herpetologist Dr Anne Boonchuy was busy cleaning the glass on Sprig's enclosure from finger prints and face marks by disobeying visitors. As she did, she whistled a tune which sounded like 'No Big Deal.'
She saw Sprig with a female South American Tree Frog whom she named Ivy. Then, she walked towards the toad exhibit where she saw Grime sleeping in his hole.
After she checked that everything was in order, she switched off the lights so the amphibians could have a nice warm sleep.
She had been working at the aquarium for over 5 years and she adored her job to bits. She loved raising the amphibians, educating the public and learning new things about the life itself.
She locked up for the day so she could have a lovely weekend all to herself and visiting friends and family. Thankfully, she had someone covering her back for the exhibit.
As she began walking to her car, she suddenly got a phone call. "Yup? Hello?…I'll be home in a minute…What you cooking?…Oh, right, Stir Friday!…Still trying to perfect Roman's stir fry?..He says you aren't gonna get it….Okay, I'm confident in you…I'm just on my way back, okay?…Okay, love ya." She hung up on her phone and got in her vehicle.
She arrived at her house which was just a small house similar to the one she lived in when she was young. She had been living in it for around a year with herself and someone. The front garden had a bunch of frog ornaments on the ground so people know she is a frog lady, a green door and another car in the drive.
She walked through the door to enter the living area which had a lovely two person couch, a foot rest, a small television and a bunch of pictures put on display. There was a picture of Anne at the beach in a blue bikini with a blonde haired man in blue swimming trunks, a picture of Anne and her friends on her birthday, a picture of Anne's parents, a picture of a blonde haired man getting a muggy from another black haired man and a picture of Anne kissing the blonde haired man on the lips.
She walked in the kitchen where she saw someone cooking over the stove, stirring in a giant pot. They appeared to be male in shape, blonde hair and wearing the same work clothes as Anne. She smiled at the man and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"Evening, master chef." She kissed his cheek, causing him to chuckle.
"Evening, Miss Boonchuy." He said as he held her arms. This was Kevin Culkin, Anne's marine biologist boyfriend whom she had been seeing for nearly two years. They met during one of their lunch breaks where they said a few words to each other but then those few words turned to more than a few. Then, they were having lunches then dinner dates then waking up together having breakfast and then they were a couple.
Mr and Mrs Boonchuy approved of the man though Mrs Boonchuy did pry them on when they'd be having grandchildren much to their discomfort.
Sometimes they were mistaken as a married couple because they were living together in a nice house but in fact, Kevin was waiting for the right moment.
Everyone loved Kevin, but there were some people who he never got the chance to meet such as a certain amphibious family.
Kevin held Anne by her arms, both robotic and fleshy. Since Anne still had her animatronic arm thanks to The Collector.
"Your arm is cold." Kevin said.
"Well, it is a false one." Anne said. "Oh, you mean the other one?"
"Yeah." Kevin responded.
"It's a cold night." She said.
"It's like 58 degrees." He retorted.
"And you're on fire." Anne said.
Kevin sighed. "Please tell me it's because I'm warm and not on fire."
Anne cringed. "Well, you are warm."
Kevin smiled. "Oh thank goodness."
"But the stir fry is on fire." Anne informed her boyfriend.
"Aahhhhhh!" Kevin screamed as he placed his hands on his cheeks.
The Beyonder briefly interrupted to pause the scene and to stare at Kevin's pose. "Too on the nose? Oh well, we were bound to make that reference. Anyway, I'll save you the excitement and skip to them having dinner."
The Beyonder fast forward the scene so Anne and Kevin were now kissing on the couch, rubbing their hands all over their bodies.
As they continued kissing, Kevin looked uncomfortable that he pulled out. "Something wrong, Kev?" She asked.
"Your arm is squeezing my spine a little hard." Kevin replied.
Anne panicked. "Sorry. Do you want me to take it off?"
"It's fine, really." Kevin assured her.
"Nope, not fine." Anne used her other arm to remove the robot one and placed it on the coffee table. "Don't want you to dislocate your shoulder again."
"Oh yeah." Kevin laughed before going back to making out with his girlfriend again. As they kissed, Kevin realised he had something he wanted to tell his girlfriend. "Oh, my brother wants to talk with your friend?"
"Marcy?" Anne groaned. "Great! Roman wants her again?"
"Nah. Though he is still trying." Kevin said. "He wants to talk with Mason Pines so he can adapt his work."
"Shit." Anne groaned. "If he starts hitting on his wife then she better knock him out."
"Look, I know how Roman makes you feel." Kevin said. "I mean, mentally he thinks he's better than everyone. Then again, that's because he grew up rich and spoiled."
"Well, Dipper is a helluva a lot smart than him so he won't sell the rights to him." Anne said.
"You should have seen what happened when he adapted Cynthia Coven." He said before going back to kissing his girlfriend.
She pulled out to tell him something important. "Oh, I'm visiting some friends tomorrow."
"Sasha and Marcy." Kevin said. "I know."
"Ooooh, you're seeing a pattern?" Anne asked.
"I'm a marine biologist so by some logic I am an intelligent person." Kevin retorted playfully.
"Oh, yeah." Anne chuckled as she sweated. "Yeah, I'll be back around ten or eleven."
"Okay." Kevin smiled. "And I'll have a guy's night."
"Kevin, you like to stay here and stream the junk I don't like." Anne retorted.
"Exactly." He booped her nose playfully before him and her went back to kissing. As Anne continued to kiss her boyfriend, she began to think about something that was eating her up.
"You're probably wondering why Anne's a little worried. Don't worry, she isn't breaking up with Kevin. Or at least, you aren't worried that Anne will break up with Kevin because you don't exactly care about this romance. Anyway, remember how the writer mentioned that Anne's friends and family love Kevin? Well…There are only a select few whom she hasn't introduced to. I shall skip to the dinner scene."
In Wartwood, Anne was having a dinner party at the Plantar house along with Sasha, Marcy, Sprig, Hop Pop, Polly, Frobo, Ivy, Grime, Boscha, Yunan, Olivia, Hunter (Yunan and Olivia's toad son) and Marcy-Pacifica.
In the last 14 years, there was at least a physical change between every frog. Sprig was dressed in a white shirt and brown pants similar to some kind of adventurer and allowed his blond hair to grow out a bit making it look like a blonde bush was resting on his head.
Ivy was dressed in a black shirt, dark red and green overalls and blue shorts to add mobility to her fighting while her red hair was still messy.
Polly was now a fully grown frog whom was very unrecognisable to Anne as she still saw her as a tadpole. Her hair was in a ponytail and was wearing blue overalls and a white tank top underneath. She was covered in oil due to her involvement with designing technology.
Hunter, the toad, was a young boy around 14 years old with a bald head, dark green skin and fangs poking out of the bottom of his mouth. His outfit consisted of a tuxedo with a dicky bow tie that his mother Olivia insisted he'd wear or else.
Marcy-Pacifica was a pink frog with blonde hair, an emerald green dress and a bit of jewellery on her wrists.
Hop Pop had gotten very wrinkly and old over the years. I mean, he was 82 years old after all. So he had to use a walking stick in order to get around the house.
Olivia and Yunan were wearing formal wear while showing a few visible wrinkles and greying hair.
As everyone ate their meal which was some cockroach liver with fly soup as a side dish. As everyone else just ate, Anne was busy messing with her soup like she was in deep thought about something. As this went on, everyone else was having some pleasant conversations.
"So Sasha, any interesting patients?" Hop Pop asked.
Sasha sighed in annoyance. "Hop Pop, I told you, I cannot reveal any information about patients I'm working with."
"Believe me she can't." Boscha stated. "I tried getting her to tell me one night by slipping truth serum into her drink!"
"But I built up an immunity." Sasha said.
"Uh…How did you build an immunity to truth serum?" Hunter asked.
"By drinking a lot that my taste buds just became numb to the taste." Sasha replied.
"Cool!" Hunter exclaimed. "Mum, can I-"
"No!" Olivia responded.
"Darling Olivia, can I-"
"Sweetheart, no." Olivia interjected to her wife.
"Oh, I've been trying to perfect the first soda machine in Amphibia." Polly declared.
"Really?" Marcy asked. "About time."
"Yeah. Workers at fast food joints across the pond have been complaining how they can't stand refilling drinks and wish the customers would do it themselves." Polly explained.
"Polly, that's a terrible idea." Grime said. "Employees work to please customers."
"Grimesy, we have that on Earth." Sasha said.
"Just because Earth has it doesn't mean we should." Grime retorted.
"So Marcy, got a boyfriend back home?" Hop Pop asked.
Marcy cringed. "Uh….Not into romance right now. I mean, all I had were nights in hotels and other locations where…Where…." She noticed Olivia and Yunan covering their children's ears while narrowing their eyes at the woman. "Where….I had breakfast in bed."
Polly just gave Marcy a deadpan stare before exhaling. "You mean sex!" Polly's declaration caused everyone to either gasp or snicker out loud.
"Polly Petunia Plantar!" Hop Pop chided his granddaughter.
"What?!" Polly exclaimed. "They were going to ask how Sprig and Ivy made their egg."
Sprig spat his water from his mouth, causing it to hit Boscha in the face. "You little twerp!" She screamed.
The three eyed witch was about to light Sprig ablaze, until Sasha grabbed her wrist, stopping her. "Don't think so, Hot Stuff. Oh, how's your kid?"
Ivy smiled. "Oh, our untitled tadpole is close to hatching. Just give him a few more days."
"But there's one problem." Sprig sighed. "We haven't thought of a name."
"We're still struggling." Ivy explained.
"Oh, dude, that sucks." Marcy remarked.
"Did you at least spitball some ideas?" Sasha asked.
"Keith, Richard, Johnny, Steven, Tyler, Riz, Tim, Leonard, Gregg…" Sprig counted the ideas with all four of his limbs.
"You could always your own after me." Hop Pop suggested.
"Hop Pop, we are not naming our son after you." Sprig said.
"Cant blame an old frog for trying." Hop Pop said.
"Boonchuy, you've been quiet all night." Sasha remarked. "Is everything okay?"
Anne sighed. "Sash, I don't know what to do."
"What's the matter Anne?" Hop Pop asked. "Is it your boyfriend?"
"Things are going great with him!" Anne replied. "I love Kevin. I just…Worry he might freak out seeing this world and you guys."
"He met me, remember?" Boscha retorted. "And I'm a witch."
"That's because he thought you had a nasty sunburn." Anne explained.
"HE WHAT?!" Boscha screamed as she slammed her fist on the table.
"Uh oh, issues." Polly said.
"Anne, maybe your boyfriend is a kind and understanding person." Hop Pop said. "I want to meet him as much as Sprig and Polly."
"I don't want to again." Boscha grumbled. "My skin looks like a sunburn my foot."
"Hop Pop, my boyfriend might freak out if he saw walking talking frogs." Anne said. "And then he'd tell his siblings. Roman would try and buy land, Kendall would try and make a rap video, Shiv would just manipulate her way and Connor….Is actually a decent guy, I like him."
"Anne, Kevin's a great guy." Marcy said. "He won't react negatively just as long as you warn him."
"Yeah and make sure it isn't like last time." Anne folded her arms at Hop Pop referring to how their first meeting with her parents went.
Hop Pop however looked confused. "What? What's the matter? Why are you giving me that look, Anne?"
Later that night, Anne was sitting by the wall with Sprig with her reading a book while Sprig sat close by his best friend.
They looked up into the night sky, listening to the sound of croaking frogs, watching the stars shine, just like they did in Amphibia many years ago.
"So dude, becoming a Dad?" Anne remarked.
"Yup." Sprig exhaled. "It's honestly kind of terrifying and exhilarating. I sometimes worry if I get things wrong. Like not doing a good job cleaning his bucket, feeding him at the right moments, freezing him, drying him until he looks like one of Hop Pop's wrinkles!" He pulled his hair out in frustration.
"Woah! Woah! Dude." Anne patted his back. "You're acting exactly like Hunter when May was born. You're overthinking. Trust your instincts."
"Really?" Sprig asked. "Because they're telling me to run to the hills."
Anne sighed. "Okay, maybe not that. But look at this, you're going to be a Dad in a few days. Dude, I am super happy for you."
Sprig smiled. "Yeah. Thanks. You know, I'm glad these last four years have happened. Hop Pop, Polly and I really missed you."
Anne smiled. "I missed you too. If it weren't for X then I don't know what would have happened. Maybe things would have been the same. Get up, go to work, see boyfriend…"
"Get up, tend the farm and the wife with me." Sprig said. "Yeah, but now I see you." He and his best friend smiled at each other before giving one another a hug. "Soooo….When are you gonna have kids?" Anne, shocked by the question, kicked Sprig as a response.
Back in space, The Beyonder was sitting on one of the five rows of seats with multiple versions of himself, cringing.
"Oh, that's must hurt. What do you think fellas?"
"Oh yes! Totally!"
"He shouldn't have asked her!"
"Nope!"
"Well, now that we know what happened to our pals from Amphibia and Los Angeles, let's check in on our hot residents of the Boiling Isles. And by hot I of course mean the temperature. Not their physical attractiveness. Because let's face it, there are some weirdos on the internet. Sickos. So, Hunter and Willow became parents as mentioned previously. They had a daughter they named May April Park after the month of May which was where Huntlow was born. Hunter had become a top notch Palisman carver while Willow was the first Flyer Derby coach of the first Hexside team. Gus Porter became the first Human Appreciation Society teacher at the University of Wild Magic Eda Clawthorne of course married Raine Whispers in a magnificent ceremony where there was music and cake being lit ablaze. While Eda became the headmistress of her own school, the University of Wild Magic. Of course, Raine started a new government to make up for the old. It was known as The New Government which doesn't just have them on the council but also Darius Deamonne, Eberwolf Beastar, Steve Tholomue, and Lilith Clawthorne. Speaking of, Lilith along with Hooty remodelled the library into a museum of the history of the Isles. King on the other hand, has become quite a celebrity after finding out he was the Titan. Poor kid was so frustrated, so he did what any God should do when being worshipped. Tell them to go away! As for people like Amity Blight and Luz Noceda….Well….Let's see, shall we?"
The Beyonder summoned a tub of popcorn and took a bite as the projector began to show what was going on with Luz and Amity.
They were twenty-eight years old and sleeping in their purple bed together. The room they were currently sleeping in was filled with pictures of important moments of their lives.
There was a picture of Luz in a fancy tuxedo while feeding Amity with a bit of cake since it was their wedding day. Then, there was one where Amity was in a boiling tub feeling relaxed while Luz was dipping her toe on the surface so she could find out if it is warm enough. There was a picture of Amity sleeping on Luz's lap while she watched what was on the orb. And the last picture had Amity holding a baby in a blue blanket.
They had only been married for around three years and in that time, Luz had become an author just like Dipper while also doing glyph lessons at Eda's school as a side gig to make extra cash. While Amity had become an explorer, finding new islands and seas to expand the map of the realm she lives in. While also taking Abomination engineering as a side gig.
But that wasn't all they had in their life, tugging on Amity's finger was a little male witch around two years old with tanned skin and black hair and dressed what looked to be a little blue wonzie with drawings of Titans.
"Mommy. Mommy. Mommy." He tugged on Amity's finger a little harder, causing the witch to wake up.
"Mijo?" Amity saw that the boy had his arms out like he wanted to be picked up. "Awww, did you have a bad dream?"
In that moment, Luz woke up and rubbed her eyes. "W-What is happening?"
"I think Manny had a bad dream." Amity theorised.
Luz cooed as she looked at the boy. "Aww, Mijo did you have a bad dream?" Manny just nodded his head as a response as he raised his hands up.
"Alright, Manny." Amity picked up her son and placed him in-between her and her wife.
Manny was born two years ago and was of course named after her late Dad. And so far, he was a little quiet and a little timid which was unusual for some but her Dad had mentioned that Amity was like this when she was two.
Manny adjusted himself so he could get some sleep while Luz kissed his forehead. "Goodnight, Mijo." And so Luz went back to sleep so she could go back to Dreamland.
But as she fell asleep, she began to dream. She opened her eyes to see the Isles in disarray. Tula was horrified by the sight as she slowly took in what she saw going on right in front of her.
Bonesborough was on fire, every building was on fire, there were asteroids flying overhead in the sky and there were dead witches.
She panicked as she ran around the flaming town for any sign of her friends or family. "Manny! Amity! Eda! Gus! Hunter! Willow!"
She turned to one corner where she stood horrified by what she was seeing. Her son and her wife were petrified with pure terror on their faces. They had been turned to stone similar to everyone else under Belos' reign.
"No! No! No!" Luz backed away in terror as she saw her family in this state.
Then, she heard the sound of a familiar sinister chuckled and she turned around to see a face she thought she would never see again.
It was Belos in his monster form, laughing sinisterly. "Hello, Luz."
Luz fell on her rear and began to crawl in terror. But it was cut short as she realised that her way out of the ally was blocked off by her petrified family.
"Belos, please!" Luz pleaded.
"Please?" Belos laughed. "You ignored my pleas and allowed me to die at the hands of those…of those…witches!"
"You died once, you'll die again!" Luz exclaimed in anger. "Especially after what you did to my family!" She summoned Stringbean and got into a pose.
Belos laughed sinisterly. "Don't be so certain. I won't be the one killing you."
Suddenly, Luz felt someone stabbing her in the gut. She looked straight up and saw something shocking. In front of her, was none other than The Core stabbing her with their scythe. The person whom The Core was possessing was none other than a version of her, whom laughed sinisterly.
This sight made Luz wake up with sweat dripping from her face. She checked to the people next to her and smiled when she saw that her son and her wife were still here, safe and sound.
Then, she sighed and lifted up her pyjama shirt to look at the stab wound she had on her stomach from The Core 14 years ago. She touched it and sighed, reminiscing about her battle around 14 years ago.
"Looking at your scar again?" The voice of Amity asked. Luz looked to her wife, whom was holding her son's tiny little hand.
"Yeah. Nightmare got me reminiscing." Luz explained.
"I'm sorry." Amity got out of her side of the bed and walked to Luz's side all without waking up Manny.
"Hey, don't apologise for that." Luz said to her wife. "I know they're now a part of me. But I don't know if they will ever leave my thoughts."
"Scars should not be something to be ashamed of." Amity's took her wife's hand. "They tell stories of survival. And that's what happened Luz, you survived and these scars show it."
"Do you wish they'd go away?" Luz asked.
"Like I said, don't be ashamed of them." Amity said to her wife. "Besides, the scars on you look badass and sexy." Amity gave her wife a seductive grin.
"Really?" Luz asked, giving in to the playful tone. "Maybe I could flaunt them off while Manny's at his Abuela's for the weekend."
Amity smiled at her wife before kissing the scar on her eyebrow and then lifted her shirt so she could kiss the scar on her abdomen.
The sounds of kissing caused Manny to stir awake. Luz and Amity smiled at their son adorably waking up from his slumber with his little movements and his little coos.
"I think it's time someone gets up." Luz remarked.
Amity smiled while she picked up Manny. "Come on, Mijo. Let's get dressed." Amity picked up her song and carried him out of the room with her Palisman following from behind.
Once her wife, son and wife's Palisman left, it was just Luz on her own letting her thoughts synch in. She collapsed on her back and looked at the ceiling feeling scared of her nightmare. Wondering if something horrifying would happen at some point or if it was just a dream coming from her deep trauma.
Back with the Beyonder, he was watching what was going on through his celestial phone. "Oh dear. Poor Luz. It's scary being a wife and a mother isn't it? Terrified that the two most important people in your life will end up dead due to some kind of threat. Ooooohhhhhh, if only they knew what was about to come. Anyway, let's check in on the Gravity Falls gang. First, I think we should give some commiserations. Lyle my friend, you were right and wrong about a couple of people. Stan and Ford unfortunately passed away three years ago when Evelyn was five. It was her first experience with death. Ford died from an illness he picked up from another universe where there was no known cure while Stan died from heart attack after winning big in Vegas. Yup, Ford died in pain while Stan died with a huge smile on his face. They still debate who had the more dignified death to this day. Watch."
He swiped the current footage of Luz to Stan and Ford sitting on a couch in some sort of boring beige office with paper weight animals and pictures of nature all over the wall. "Do you really have a PHD?" Stan asked.
Turned out the therapist was none other than Marco Diaz, whom had grown up to be a therapist for the Underworld.
"Let's face it, Stan was never going to The Good Place. Oh not because his soul was rotten, the Underworld just seemed more sinful and fun for him."
"Yup. My wife says I am a Pretty Hot Dude." Marco said while taking notes.
"Yeah, but do you have an actual PHD?" Ford asked. "As much as I appreciate a good acronym pun…"
"Gone soft." Stan retorted.
"…Are you actually qualified for this?" Ford asked.
"Believe me, I am." Marco assured them.
"What about her?" Stan asked.
Marco sighed in frustration. "Ignore her, she likes to mess with my patients."
Turns out, the person whom was in the same office as the brothers was none other than Janna, whom was breastfeeding her baby.
"Don't mind me, just feeding my baby." Janna said while feeding Sindy.
"Could you, do it outside?" Stan asked.
"Please do not shame me for feeding my baby." Janna pleaded.
Marco sighed. "She always uses this as a means to drive people insane. Just ignore her, what is the discussion you wish to settle?"
"Who had the more dignified death?" Stan asked. "I died winning big in Vegas while Poindexter died with an undiscovered virus."
"It was a great discovery." Ford retorted. "A new virus."
"Ford you're only in denial." Stan said. "You were this kickass inter dimensional traveler and now you're just an old man who can't admit that he died without dignity."
"Ya know, while I was dying, I wish you was there instead of being in Vegas!" Ford exclaimed.
"You said it was okay for me to go to Vegas but I didn't anticipate dying of a heart attack after winning big!" Stanley argued.
Marco sighed. "I would rather have dealt with Philip Wittebane."
"You mean trying to convince him that the witch trials were stupid?" Janna asked.
"Yes!" Marco replied.
"Yeeeah, let's say Mr Diaz isn't enjoying his job right now. Okay, let's look at the rest. Mabel Pines has been the host of Miss Mabel's Emporium of Wonder Station for 15 years and has been finding new topics to teach children every week. Right now, she is now teaching the topic of surrogacy as she is the surrogate mother to Wendy, Rocky and Rev's kid. Speaking of Corduroy: She got hitched to Rev and Rocky even though Rocky is a bit of a wimp and Rev is a psychopath. Yeah, weird that Wendy's most long lasting relationship was with two people with very polar personalities! Soos and Melody have still been the Mystery Couple of the Mystery Shack. Each attraction taking notes from The Demon Realm and Amphibia. The Chikalist was extremely popular with the tourists. Thankfully no one turned to stone. Well, except for Toby Determined. The Ramirez baby, Hunter Ramirez is now 13 and helps his family around the Shack. Though his father and mother insists he doesn't, he does it out of the goodness of his heart. Definitely Soos' offspring. Pacifica Pines was no longer a waitress or a weekend yoga instructor, she was now a working attorney for the supernatural and inter dimensional. I know, I know, but you're never too old to learn new things. As for Dipper…Well…Ya know, he's gotta make it to his daughter's school performance."
It was the year, 207̃012, Dipper was running in a maze with Rev while holding their respective weapons of a laser sword and dual wield pistols respectively.
They were currently in a Globnar match and were just in the final round of the match. The Most Dangerous Game. Time Baby watched on from his baby stand shaped balcony with Blendin Blandin at his side.
Dipper and Rev were running from three motorcyclists with neon designs. Blue steaks going along their cycles, the red streaks went across their pitch black motorcycle jumpsuits that went from their armpits and a green stream was across a helmet. The cyclists began shooting out of their laser uzis to try and capture their targets.
Rev tried shooting back and managed to just scrape their shoulders. While Dipper just deflected the laser bullets right back at them.
"Crap!" Rev exclaimed. "This is unfair! We're never going to beat these guys!"
"Don't be so bleak Rev." Dipper retorted.
"My weapons are useless against these Future's Angels while yours are obviously of use!" Rev shouted angrily.
"You know, maybe if you didn't stop Jack Ruby from assassinating John F. Kennedy in the Grassy Knolls then we wouldn't be playing Globnar!" Dipper shouted. "I'm missing my daughter's play because of this and Pacifica is still annoyed with me for going out monster hunting on the same day as our wedding anniversary!"
"Remind me why Wendy doesn't want me to kill you again?" Rev asked.
Suddenly, they were stopped when one of the four motorcyclists skid right in front of the duo. "Shit!" Dipper exclaimed as the cyclists tried to shoot them.
But before they could shoot the duo, they suddenly lost their head from an axe, causing them to dissipate into pixels. The axe landed on the floor with a clink noise in-between Rev and Dipper.
From top of the maze, Wendy performed a landing and stared at her wife and ex boyfriend. "I know a safe spot! Run!" They began to run while the two remaining cyclists were close on their trail. They were about to shoot them until they managed to lose them when they ran into a little gap in the wall that the cyclists couldn't fit through. But their bullets do.
The cyclists, seeing the flaw in their targets plan, revved their engines and rode to the crack in the wall. They tried shooting the trio, whom were in a very tight space as their bodies were crammed against the wall.
The cyclists gave an unseen grin under their helmets and began shooting through the crack but for whatever reason their bullets seemed to miss, like they were being deflected by an invisible force.
Turns out, in-between the cracks, Dipper had placed a small device that protected them from harm against the projectiles.
"Take that, punks!" Rev gave the cyclists the finger just before they rode off to await them coming out of their hiding place.
Wendy exhaled with relief. "Now, let's start by asking the obvious question, are you two okay?"
"Yup." Dipper replied.
"I'm pissed with this, dear." Rev replied. "I should have stayed in my world."
"Yeah, I'm just realising this Wendy, you technically married a fictional character." Dipper said.
"We are all fictional, Dipper."
"Who said that?" Dipper asked.
"The voice in your head!" Rev smacked the back of his head. "Where's Rocky?"
"Rocky unfortunately was captured." Wendy replied. "Our dear husband tried to stop the cyclist by compromising."
Dipper groaned. "I told him to use my weapons if he wants to save himself. Besides the Violent Vocals, words do not hurt."
"So, what's the plan?" Rev asked as she loaded her weapons. "Blow their heads off?"
"That's what we're going to try." Wendy replied. "Rev, you make it look like you're reloading so the cyclists will underestimate you and when the time comes, shoot them in the head."
Rev smiled. "You're talking like me, dear." She and Wendy shared a quick kiss before Wendy walked out with her axe in hand.
"Alright suckers! I-" Suddenly, Wendy got hit by a bullet and vanished into pixels.
Dipper and Rev were shocked by the sudden disappearance of Wendy. Her plan just fell apart like that, causing Rev some anger.
"You assholes!" Rev shoved her way out of the gap and began shooting at the cyclist coming towards. "That's my wife!"
She managed to shoot the cyclist in the head, meaning that there was now one more left. Rev spun her guns as she put them back in her holster.
"And they said you should always wear your helmet at all times." Rev remarked before being shot herself, causing her to disappear into pixels.
Dipper knew that he was the only one left so it could either go two ways. Stay in the year 207̃012 for an infinity sentence and miss his daughter's performance or he could win.
He walked out of the gap and surveyed the area from left to right to see any sign of the last cyclist. Thankfully, it didn't take long for them to be found. He saw them revving their engine, ready to run them over.
Dipper narrowed his eyes directly at them as he pulled out his energy sword. He activated it and motioned the neon cyclist to come and take him down.
The cyclist revved their engine as hard as they could before speeding it towards Dipper. Just as the cyclist got close to running him over, the badass author stood aside and sliced the front wheel just as they got close to them.
The cyclist tried to steer the bike and to stop but unfortunately they lost control and crashed head first into the wall, rendering them into pixels.
Dipper managed to get his breath back and looked at the pixilated fire going on in front of him. Then, from the stadium he was standing in, there were loud cheers.
Dipper looked on at the crowd cheering him on and he raised his hand high while giving a huge smile. Time Baby on the other hand looked like he knew the outcome and exhaled.
"Fate has decided the match!" Time Baby declared. "Summon the losers of his team!" And with a shake of his rattle, Rev, Wendy and Rocky had appeared right beside Dipper. "Mason Pines, claim your time wish."
"Oh yeah!" Rev cracked her knuckles. "Can't wait to claim what's mine."
"No. Due to you and your spouse's disqualification you cannot have permission for a time wish." The Time Baby said.
"Oh screw you, you big baby!" Rev screamed.
"That insult means nothing to me for I am a big baby." Time Baby said.
I was going to wish for riches!" Rev screamed. "And maybe some knowledge about parenting!"
Rocky placed his hand on his wife's shoulder. "Rev, let's calm down!"
"Yeah. When we get back, I promise we can do something you want together." Wendy said to her wife.
Rev smiled at her wife's implication. "Well, how about me and Rocky go to the shooting range and then you and I go to the shooting range. That would make me feel better."
"Please claim your wish, Mr Pines." Time Baby shook his rattle and the time wish appeared from thin air. It hovered down into Dipper's hands as he stared at in awe.
"Now, I should have been clear about the rules of a time wish the first time." Time Baby said. "For you it was 22 years ago, but with me, it was just last Tuesday. Rule one: Don't use it to raise people from the dead. Their spirits are fine for a brief time, as we value the lives of the deceased. Rule two: Do not use it to destroy all life. One or two lives are fine but don't. Rule three: The time wish can't be used on the Archivists even if they attack."
Dipper looked baffled. "Archivists?" Dipper queried. "Who are they?"
"The Guardian should have told you after you died." Time Baby replied.
"What?"
"Enough! Back to your own time!" Time Baby shook his rattle and with a powerful flash, made Dipper and the gang disappear back to their own time.
Dipper had appeared outside of Gravity Falls Elementary where his wife was waiting for him. "Uh! There you are!" Pacifica grabbed her confused husband's arm and began dragging him into the school to see his daughter perform, not even questioning why he suddenly popped out of nowhere.
Once inside the building, Dipper was phased out of the show as he began pondering about what the Time Baby was saying about the Archivists. Who were they? And should he be worried? Were they the things The Guardian was about to tell him before he returned to the land of the living?
After the show, Pacifica and Dipper were waiting outside the school for their daughter. They were in a crowd of eager parents, wanting to see their children. While Pacifica was eager to see her daughter after her show, Dipper was still thinking.
And in that moment, Evelyn ran out of the school dressed in her green shirt, red vest jacket, beige shorts and pine tree cap straight towards her parents.
"Mom, Dad!" She cried.
Pacifica got down on her knees and hugged her daughter. "Oh, baby, I'm so proud of you!" She kissed her forehead, causing her to cringe.
"Mom! Not here!" Evelyn demanded.
"Come on, you did great!" Pacifica protested.
"It was Jack and the Beanstalk." Evelyn said. "I wish I got Jack."
"Well, you were an amazing goose." Pacifica said while rubbing her head.
"Um….Is Dad okay?" Evelyn asked. "He's doing that face like he's deep in thought again."
Pacifica got a look at her husband and saw that he was completely spaced out. Not once did he ever clap in the show, not once did he say hi, not once did he interact with his daughter, it's like he was very out of the moment. Even at dinner, he was still out of it.
Later that night, Dipper laid in his and Pacifica's bed still thinking about Time Baby's warning. He had been like this for the last five hours ever since coming back from the future thinking if this future was inevitable or it was something that was never going to happen.
He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out his time wish. He began to think about all the things he could probably do with it. Maybe he should wish he knew when he the Archivists were coming so he could be prepared or he could have an Archivist destroyer. Or would that count as a wish against them?
"Dipper." He heard his wife say in a seductive and alluring voice. "Evelyn's asleep you know."
"Uh huh. I said goodnight to her." Dipper said.
"Well…" Pacifica entered the room dressed in some purple lingerie that was very see through. She had her hand against the door frame while pressing her back against the wall. "…So did I." She froze. "Uh…That sounds wrong. Mind if I do my hot entrance again?"
"Yeah, sure. Okay." Dipper said without caring.
Pacifica narrowed her eyes in frustration at her husband and groaned. "Okay! I've tolerated this for too long!" She jumped on the bed in frustration. "What is going on?! I get you were captured because Rev stopped Jack Ruby from killing Kennedy and you had to evoke Globnar in order to be saved and you win a time wish you could use to wish away my wrinkles!"
"Since when did you care about your wrinkles?" Dipper asked.
Pacifica panicked. "Are there more on my face?!"
"No…I…"
"What?!" Pacifica asked. "I'm your wife, remember? We are meant to be honest with each other. What's on your mind?"
Dipper knew he couldn't hide from his wife any longer so he had to be honest. Or, maybe he could find a lie.
"Okay….I hate your lingerie." Dipper said.
Pacifica folded her arms. "No you don't."
"You're right. Even at 35 you're killing it." Dipper said. "Okay….Rev threatened to kill me."
"She's threatened to kill you every year and you have a lot of high tech weapons." Pacifica retorted.
"I mugged Jack Ruby?" Dipper said.
"Blendin sent me a note saying you'd lie about that." Pacifica said while holding a piece of paper.
"Okay, how does he…." Dipper groaned. "Okay, I want another kid."
Pacifica narrowed her eyes at her husband. "Mason Joseph Pines."
Dipper froze. "Ooooooh, full name."
"Oh yes! Full name." Pacifica said with her arms folded.
Dipper sighed. "Okay, fine. I'll come clean. Pacifica, remember 14 years ago when I died?"
Pacifica sighed sadly. "I hate to be reminded." She curled up with her husband.
"The Guardian tried to warn me about four brothers after I was resurrected." Dipper said. "They said they would come back when three mortals die from powers beyond our comprehension were resurrected. And me, Anne and Luz were the prime candidates. Time Baby mentioned when I won the Time Wish that it can't be used on the Archivists. It got me thinking that maybe those four brothers could be them."
Pacifica sighed as she laid on her husband's chest. "Dipper….I don't know what's going to happen. But knowing you, if these Archivists will come, you will do something about it. Not just you, me, Anne, Luz, Hunter, Eda, Amity, Mabel, Wendy, The Collector, King…Whose to say that we won't be able to beat them? You're Dipper Pines. Author, time traveller, paranormal investigator, son, father, brother, helluva husband and hero of the multiverse. You defy the impossible even with the odds stacked against you. Somehow one of the most impossible feats you ever achieved was winning the heart of a spoiled former rich heiress and conceived a beautiful daughter with said rich heiress." She positioned herself so she was on top of Dipper and kissed his lips, causing him to smile. "Remember that part."
Dipper smiled. "Alright, I will."
Pacifica grinned and looked away nervously. "Though…Ya know…I wouldn't be against having another child."
Dipper's eyes widened. "Oh."
"Could teach Evelyn the value of responsibility when she'll have to babysit for them." Pacifica said.
"Not a bad idea." Dipper said. "Let's start now." He and Pacifica got to kissing each other with heated passion just as she began to unbutton the buttons on Dipper's shirt.
"Nope!" The Beyonder paused the scene before anything steamy happened. "Not safe for work or the classroom. So…Now that you know what is in store for our dear protagonists. Anne constantly hiding her second life to her boyfriend, Luz still reeling from trauma and Dipper worrying for a future so bleak. Anyway, long story short, I have universes to be, gems that need delivering and….." He looked up to see a swirling wormhole made of stars and quasars meaning the Archivists were coming. "….Bad biscuits to avoid." The Beyonder snapped his fingers to change into a baseball get up and got on a bicycle with purple, pink and blue streaks and set off. "Be back in two chapters. Things will steam up!"