A/N: Hi guys! I hope you had nice Christmas time. This chapter took me a bit longer to write, mostly because life and Christmas happened and I've barely had any time to sit and write what was on my mind for this story, but finally I've managed to complete it, I hope that you enjoy this chapter which is full of Derek and Addison's interections, which means that this is a long chapter because I always too excited when writing just about them (also, apparently I just gave up on writing shorter chapters). Also, I wanted to thank the couple of people who are still reviewing this story and reading it, you guys have no idea how happy it makes to read your thoughts about each chapter and the story in general, thanks for taking the time to check it.

HOLD ME LIKE I'M MORE THAN JUST A FRIEND

Derek… I need you.

Those words were still stuck on his mind, since receiving that phone call he was not able to think about something different, he actually had to check the call log on his phone a couple of times only to make sure that it wasn't just a part of his imagination that was tricking him, he needed to convince himself that it actually happened, that it was real and that Addison did call him saying those words.

It's not about a consult, I need you.

The last time he had gotten a very similar phone call from Addison was a couple years ago, he was about to propose to Meredith and still, even when he was supposed to do that big gesture and take that step on his relationship, it only took that one call to postpone his own plans, because even if they were divorced, he needed to be there for her, he needed to help her and fix the unfixable, because even if anyone else was able to do it, he was surely giving it a try, mostly because she was still his family, he wanted her to be okay… Sure, he took an oath and was willing to save Archer's life despite of their differences, but his former brother-in-law wasn't the reason why he had dropped everything. Without any sign of hesitation, he would do it all over again, not only because he had managed to save Archer's life, but also he knew that by saving him, he had made Addison as happiest as he had seen her in a very long time, and that was worth it.

Even now, he would drop everything just for her, but unlike that time years ago, the call that he had just gotten wasn't about a life or death situation, she had truly just invited him over to her place, on the same day that they had agreed on being just friends.

Maybe that's all, she just needs a friend over, I don't think Naomi is at the top of her list right now.

Yeah, that must be it…

Wait… Is she making me her new Naomi? Please, don't make me your new Naomi, Addison.

And even though he wasn't exactly excited about becoming that person on Addison's life, it was the most reasonable explanation that he could find to justify that invitation, but then again, he knew Addison well enough to know that she was too proud to admit if there was anything else that she would like to discuss, especially when she specified to never mention again what had happened between them… Because, at some point, one of them will eventually bring it up… Or at least he hoped so.

What if Sam did something to her? He did mention that they needed to talk… If he did something to Addison, I swear I will kill him with my bare hands, I don't care if that makes me lose my surgical skills.

While drowning into those very messy thoughts, Derek finally found himself in front of Addison's beach house, he didn't even have to ask for the directions because unfortunately, he knew the way to Sam's house next door, but at least this time, he was hoping that this visit would have a better outcome, hopefully it would turn out better than the other night.

When did I become so hopeful?

Derek took a deep breath while standing in the front door while holding a bottle of red wine on his left hand, a bottle that he had chosen specifically remembering it was one of Addison's favorite; his other hand was running through his hair and just after few seconds he managed to knock on the door. He wasn't sure what to expect but one thing was certain, there wasn't any other place where he wanted to be, he was excited to finally see Addison outside of the practice or the hospital for the first time since his arrival, and more than that, he was looking forward to reconnect with her, after all, they used to be very good friends before everything… Or at least that's what he kept saying.

This is just a visit to my old friend from college, even we could call it that I'm visiting a former roommate, I mean, we did share a room in Med School… But then, why I am so fucking nervous?

Only few seconds passed when Addison finally opened the door to let him in, but for Derek each second felt like an eternity, he was hoping to look relaxed, to look like that friend that Addison needed at the time… Although, those friendly thoughts disappeared once he finally saw her. Despite of his doubts about if she was okay or not, she definitely made a great impression because in that moment, Addison looked even better than she did in the morning, if that was even possible.

"Derek! You're just on time, I've ordered some Chinese Food and it just arrived some minutes ago, I'm sure it's still hot… Wait, do you still like that? I didn't even ask you, maybe I should've given you a call before, I mean, I remember you liked Chinese food from years ago and I just assumed that…" Addison started saying everything on her mind as soon as she saw him standing right in front of her, as she wasn't just able to stop, however, a brief smile appeared on her face as soon as her eyes met his.

Derek on the other hand, found Addison's words somehow endearing, he knew that's how she acted whenever she was nervous or when she was in the middle of an awkward situation, it was then when he realized that probably he wasn't the only one over thinking about what to expect from that evening.

She looks so cute when she starts rambling.

"Addie…" He interrupted her with a soft smile on his face. "Chinese food is just fine, we got through med school eating that, remember? It's impossible not to like it. I actually couldn't think of anything better if we're having dinner together." Derek remembered all of those times when they were living on their small apartment during their med school days and just ordered Chinese food because it was the closest thing near their place and neither one of them could cook anything decent between their classes.

"I guess we haven't changed that much then." She smiled back at him, making a brief pause between her words, considering that Derek was still standing outside of her house. "I do hope you're not planning to stand there all evening, please come in." She invited him in, she wasn't so sure about how to act around him, after all, it's been a very long time since they've had dinner together, just the two of them or even since they were alone together after work-hours. She would later admit that she wasn't thinking properly when she invited him over but that was what it was all about, right? To stop over-thinking and just act on her own instincts.

"Well, I doubt that you want to share dinner with me if I stand here all evening." He smiled at her after following her into her house. Inside, the place looked exactly like he was imagining it, every part of it, including the furniture, the decoration or even the carpet on the living room had Addison's signature all over it, even when they were very different places, he could identify some similarities with the decoration on the Brownstone that they used to share. Somehow, Addison managed to make that place her home and he could notice it by just setting a foot on it.

"You have a very nice place here, Addie. It is very… You." That was the only word that could use to describe perfectly Addison's beach house.

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" Addison asked while she guided him to the table overlooking at the beach, where the food was already waiting for them.

"It is." Derek simply smiled and waited for Addison to take a seat, once she did that he went to the chair right in front of her. "Is Amy joining us too? I only see that there's only two plates on the table." He asked curiously, mostly because he kept hoping it would be only the two of them.

"Uh, actually she's not, it's just the two of us." Addison opened Derek's bottle of wine right after that comment and poured it on their glasses.

"Come on, Addie. Don't say it like it's a bad thing." Derek replied with a smile on his face, at this point he was just happy to be there, no matter if they had to follow the Forbes Montgomery guidelines for appropriate small talk.

That or perhaps Addison would say something about why she had invited him over.

"I… I didn't mean it like that, actually." She admitted looking down for a couple of seconds before taking a sip of his glass of wine. "Besides, I did invite you over, didn't I?"

"If you say so." He made a brief pause and waited for their eyes to meet, once it happened he smiled at her and continued. "So, do you have any idea on where's Amy? I didn't see her name on the hospital board, and she didn't mention anything about being on-call, unless that… Wait, is she out on a date or something like that?" Derek asked frowning.

"Do you realize that I've never said a single word to you about any of your sisters' love lives? Not even when we were married. Tell me, why should that change now?" Addison assured with a smile on her face, probably Derek was already aware of it, but even to the date, she kept a good relationship with all of Derek's sisters, even after both of them were divorced and barely on speaking terms, they kept behaving like family, they would call her for her birthday, Christmas and any other important holiday, while Addison would still send Christmas presents to Derek's nieces and nephews and would talk to each of his sisters from time to time.

"Of course, you always took their side, and they always took yours. It was one of their many ways to annoy me, you know?" Derek rolled his eyes, even when they weren't there, even speaking about his sisters brought very exasperating memories.

"Come on, Derek, you know they're not that bad, you don't have to fake like you think otherwise, not in front of me, not when I know how much you love each one of them. Have you been keeping in touch? I'm sure most of them miss you." She wondered, because even after their divorce, the Shepherds are still her family, they've been more of her family than her own.

"First, they are all annoying, I'm not faking anything. And as for keeping in touch, they all manage to find me on those few free hours that I have a day. Kathleen, for example, she calls me each couple of months to check on me, or at least that's what she claims, but she's truly…"

"She's still being your shrink." Addison complemented Derek's phrase, to which he responded with a nod of his head.

"Exactly. Can you believe that during our last conversation, she was trying to explain the many signs that I'm showing of a midlife crisis? Yes, and of course she mentioned another name for it which I didn't even acknowledge." Derek rolled his eyes, however, Addison was still looking at him while laughing at Derek's words about his sister, being there just talking to him was better to be alone drinking and thinking about her failed relationship with Sam.

"That is definitely something that she would do." Addison agreed, years ago she used to make fun of those long calls that Derek and Kathleen had, because even when everything was okay, she always managed to find something wrong and make a big deal out of it, which used to drive Derek out of his mind.

"Nancy, she's the one calling more often. After I got shot, she kept calling me at least twice a week to make sure that I was okay, and let's just say that she hasn't dropped that habit." Derek admitted while Addison was listening carefully to each of his words.

"I cannot say that I'm surprised by that. She's always been protective towards you, which is kind of cute, actually."

"Maybe you find it cute, but if you ask me, she's acting more like mom as the years go by and that drives her crazy, she's still not letting go the fact that I haven't spent the holidays back home since…" He tried to remember and actually, the last holiday with all of his family together had been a very long time ago, back when he and Addison were still married. "…Since a very long time… And Lizzie, she's more quiet as you know, or at least the busiest out of all of them, the last thing I heard was that she was doing some lectures for Columbia, I think she's heading to teaching now."

"Who would have thought? I'm glad they're still… Being them." Addison admitted, during a long time all of them (and Amelia, of course) made her feel like she was part of that big family that she desperately wanted to belong to.

"Yeah, well… I don't think that they will stop being like that, believe me, I was hopeful for many years, but now I've finally given up." Derek joked making a small pause between his words, to focus on Addison's eyes, he was glad that they were managing to have a nice conversation, and even catching up. "Addie, I hardly doubt that you asked me to come here just to talk about my sisters." Derek pointed out, sure they were both good with the small talk, but he needed more than that, besides, they did agree to leave what happened on Addison's office behind. "Being honest, I was thinking it was more like a drunken call but you don't even seem slightly drunk." He tried to joke again, maybe like that Addison would feel more confident to tell him the reason why she had chosen to tell him that she "needed him".

"No, it wasn't a drunken call. And just to be very clear, it wasn't some kind of booty call either, or whatever you might have thought." Addison shook her head and took a sip of her glass of wine. "I don't know what to say, Derek. Aren't we supposed to be friends? Friends invite other friends over for dinner… I thought it would be good, you know, to clear the air."

Yeah, but friends also don't call their ex-husbands saying that they need him without any reason.

"Fine. I knew you would find yourself missing my company." Derek chose to tease her once more, making her laugh softly.

"God, I almost forgot how much of an arrogant you are." Addison rolled her eyes.

For about a couple of minutes, they remained on silent while they ate their dinner, Derek seemed to be delighted by the view, and no, he wasn't just referring to the beach, he also meant the company, which was hundred times better than being at Sam's place some nights ago.

"So… Will you ever tell me what happened between you and Meredith?" Addison asked, leaving Derek not only surprised, but also speechless for few seconds. "What? I thought that since we're friends, we should be able to talk about those kind of things." Friends are supposed to talk about break-ups, especially when that break-up is about the woman he had cheated with.

"No, it's not that, it's just that… I thought you didn't want to hear about it." He managed to reply after few seconds and after another sip of his wine. "Actually, that's what you said about a couple of times, that you didn't want to hear anything about it, am I right?"

"Well, I'm just asking because… I don't want to hear about it, it's just…" She was trying to find a word to tell him that yes, she wanted to know how it ended, but Derek was the one who found the correct way to say it.

"A friend being concerned about her friend's break-up?" He completed her sentence in the way that she wasn't able to.

"Exactly. Concerned, yes. So, what happened?" She asked again, which wasn't much proper of her, but at that point she didn't care.

"Well, I don't want to bother you with the details, but it happened some months ago, and if you're concerned about it, there's no need to do it, we stayed on good terms… Is that specific enough?" Derek wouldn't just go into details, especially not when talking to Addison about it.

"Good terms as in when you were friends back when we were married?" That phrase went straight out from Addison's thoughts; it wasn't until it was said until she realized how wrong that came out. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say that."

That was very passive-aggressive, Addie.

However, Derek only exaggerated a surprised look and then just laughed.

"Ouch. I guess I deserved that." He shrugged. "But no, just good terms, as in… As in you and I after the divorce, I guess." And now this time, he realized that it was him the one who had talked too much. "That wasn't a good comparison, wasn't it?" He added after few seconds of silence.

"Definitely not, you could've come up with anything better." Addison added with a forced smile.

"Yeah, I figured it after the words left my mouth."

It took them some more minutes to finish their dinner, and even though they've been reaching some sensitive topics, that didn't change their mood for the evening, as they kept talking and laughing like the two friends that they claimed to be.

"…This place is fantastic; you know? When I was told to come here I couldn't even think that I could survive a day around here, and I kept thinking how did all of you managed to move your entire lives to a place like Los Angeles, but… Even in a city like this one, seems like you can find some quietness and even hear the nature. Do you ever get tired of the sound of the ocean? Because I swear that I could spent all my life listening to it, and I would still be delighted by it."

Addison smiled after listening to his comment, it was still strange for her seeing this nature-loving version of her ex-husband, because for most of their marriage, he was the definition of a city guy, and not only that, he was also the typical New Yorker.

"Yeah, I didn't think I would get used to it, but now, I can't imagine coming back home and not having the beach as my backyard, you know? It kind of makes me think about the house in the Hamptons." Addison remembered, and even though Derek wasn't the biggest fan of that place, he still managed to enjoy it each time they would stay there.

"What? No way, I think this place is way better than the Hamptons. This place has something different, it's more… I don't know, zen?" He guessed, that was the only word at the tip of his tongue while staring at the beach from the table where they were eating. "This place has a different appealing. And even so, I would have never imagined that you would end up moving here and actually liking it."

"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked with a confused glance on her eyes.

"No, no. Don't get me wrong. I am just saying it because you used to love New York, remember how they would always put us as an example for the typical New Yorkers from the Upper East Side?" Derek remembered with a small smile, back when they were Mt. Sinai's golden couple. "You loved taking walks across the Central Park, or seeing every new show on Broadway, which by the way, I still can't keep track on how many times you made me sit through Rent after it came out…" Derek recalled those small moments of their marriage and even when they happened a long time ago, he could still remember them vividly.

"Derek, that was on 1996, will you ever let it go? Besides we didn't go that many times, maybe just over three or four…" Addison protested, though she was actually a bit surprised that he even remembered that. "Besides, I remember you having a crush on the woman playing Maureen, so I don't think you had such a bad time sitting through the show."

"Oh, yes. I remember, I had to get something good out of it… I mean, she was a good singer." He smiled making Addison roll her eyes. "Addison, to this date, the name "Angel" still brings tears to my eyes, believe me, it was way more than four times… Anyway, what I was saying? Oh, yes. Your love for New York, you also loved going to ice-skate around the Rockefeller Christmas Tree every year, you even insisted for us to go to the Yankee's games, you always said that it was just because you wanted to join me, but I know for a fact that you enjoyed those games as any other fan…. All I'm trying to say is that you were very enthusiastic about your love for New York."

Well, it wasn't about the love I had for a city, it was more about my love for you.

As much as Addison was drinking wine, that phrase was better on her thoughts than actually saying it out loud.

"Well, people changes, Derek. Look at you, you also loved all of those places… Well, maybe not all of them, but leaving Broadway behind, you were that same person that you're just describing and now you're someone completely different, someone who loves the nature and enjoys things such as the sound of the ocean." Addison pointed out, if by the time that they got married someone would say that Derek would turn out to be a nature-loving-flannel-wearing guy, she would have never believed it.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. What I'm actually trying to say is that I understand it, you know? On why you would change a Brownstone in New York for a Beach House in Los Angeles. It is definitely an improvement."

"Come on, don't say it like we didn't enjoy most of the times on the Brownstone. There's actually something I miss about that place; you know? The Christmas decorations, they don't do it here like they were back in New York. Can you believe that I've never decorated this place like I used to do it on the Brownstone?"

Derek was surprised to hear Addison making that statement, because both of them used to enjoy decorating their house together during Christmas time, and he always imagined that even if they weren't together, that was a tradition that she would carry on.

"Well, I mean, we were overdoing ourselves on each Christmas. It is to be expected that you won't find something similar over here." Derek acknowledge.

"Maybe… I mean; we were taking the decorations to another level since our first Christmas on the Brownstone. I remember the place looking like Santa's workshop."

FLASHBACK
DECEMBER 20th 1995
NEW YORK – ADDISON AND DEREK'S BROWNSTONE.

"Don't you think we overdid ourselves this time?" Derek asked while looking how his entire living room looked like something coming out of the North Pole.

"Come on, honey. We agreed that we would make it big, besides it is our first Christmas on this house, the family is coming over in few days and they still don't know the house, I just want them to see how much we love this place." Addison pointed out, looking at all the Christmas Decorations that they managed to put together, specifically the big tree on the living room, the stockings around the chimney and all the ornaments around the house.

"It's a brownstone, you know? You keep saying house." He corrected her with a soft smile on his face, he actually loved to see how excited she was about this Christmas, not only because it was their first one outside of the small apartment they used to share back in Med School, but also it was the first time when they were hosting the Christmas dinner as husband and wife.

"Fine, Dr. Shepherd. I just want all of our family to know how much we love this Brownstone." She emphasized the last word. "Even though what I like the most is the fact that we've made it our home."

"Home definitely sounds better, Dr. Shepherd." Derek answered smiling, he was happy to be right there next to his wife and to share that special part of the year together. "You know that it's going to be crazy once all of them are here, right? The good thing when mom is the one hosting the Christmas dinner is that we get to leave at any time and it's not our problem anymore… Now, this time, we're the responsible ones… And they're staying until the day after Christmas. I'm not sure if I can deal with my sisters for so long."

"Come on, Derek… They're not that bad, besides mom will also be here, she won't allow any craziness happening. And even if it comes down to that, we still have each other at the end of the day, you know?" Addison finished that sentence with a quick peck on Derek's lips, or at least that was what she intended, but Derek pulled her closer to him, making her sit on his lap and wrapped his arms around her.

"Yes, and that's actually the only reason why I know I'll survive these days, because at the end of it I still have my very beautiful wife." He kissed her cheek now while his face showed a wide smile.

"Not only that, honey, this is our season. No matter what, I'm sure that we will have a very merry Christmas."

"Oh, I am sure that you'll have a Merry Christmas, Dr. Shepherd." Derek teased.

"So… Do you still think that we overdid ourselves with the Christmas decorations? I mean, I don't want mom to think we're showing off." Addison asked a bit concerned, for some reason she was still feeling like she needed to impress her mother-in-law, and definitely she didn't want to look like she wasn't even able to handle some Christmas decorations.

"What? I was just exaggerating; you know? I love how everything looks like, and I'm sure that mom will love it too… Just like the girls. But, now that you mention it, there's only one thing that I would like to change for the next years ahead."

"Really? What is that?" Addison asked curious and started to look around to find any mistake or anything wrong with their decorations.

"It's the stockings, those over the chimney." Derek pointed out on the direction where the stockings were hanging.

"What about them? Please don't tell me that they spelled your name as "Derrick" or mine as "Allison", I specified that about a hundred times." Addison quickly left Derek's lap to approach to the chimney to check their names on the stockings, but on the contrary, they were correctly spelled. "Wait, they're okay, honey. I don't see anything wrong."

"I didn't say that there was something wrong. I was just going to say that maybe we should think about how it will look once we start adding some extra stockings over there." He followed her and wrapped his arms around her again. "I mean; this house is big enough to add at least two or even three more stockings."

"Derek… Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Addison asked curious, turning back to see her husband.

"I'm saying that we should start to try to have a baby once you're ready." Derek admitted with that special brightness on his blue eyes.

"So… You have been thinking about it?" Addison seemed amused by her husband's words.

"Of course I've been thinking about it, remember when we were choosing this place? I kept thinking that those extra rooms could be for our children, they're across the hall from our bedroom, which is the perfect distance to have them close enough but also to keep our own space. Even though surely it won't be far enough for them to wake us up early in the morning asking for breakfast or just for joining us on our bed to watch cartoons."

"I think I'm just falling more in love with you right now, Derek. How is that even possible?" Addison even blushed over Derek's plans for their future children.

"What can I say, Addie? It seems that I have that effect on hot redheads."

"Shut up." She turned back to meet her husband's eyes and smiled at him. "I'm sure that this will be the place where we will raise our family. You're drawing a pretty nice picture of it and it's getting harder to say that we should wait a bit longer, I mean, we're just a couple of years away from finishing our residency."

"Yeah, I know that, but that doesn't mean that we can't practice in the meantime, I won't complain about it, I just wanted you to know that once you're ready, then I'll be all for it." Derek assured hopefully over that future that they were picturing.

"Fine, I promise that once I'm ready, I'll be getting that extra stocking myself. So, if you're knocking me up on the future, make sure to do it near Christmas, otherwise getting a stocking would be a bit harder." Addison teased. "I love you so much, I love you and all of your crazy plans from our future."

"I love you too, Addie. And just for you to know, when we do have kids someday, they will be all crazy about Christmas too, so much that probably this place will look even more Christmas-y when that day arrives."

"I wouldn't expect it otherwise."

Derek kept his wife on his arms, for a moment both of them stayed there fantasizing about that future that even though both of them were truly hoping to come true, it just never arrived.

END OF THE FLASHBACK.

"Yeah, we did have many good memories of that place, did we?" Derek asked having those fresh memories about that time of their life, it has been a very long time since he allowed himself to remember those good times he had spent there, especially because he had always focused on the bad ones, but in reality, for most of their years together, there were happier times than those messy ones during their last years of marriage. "Did you – Uh… Did you ever go back there?" All he knew about that place was that Addison had gotten it on the divorce, he didn't even care to ask if she had kept it or if it has been sold.

"No… I just – I just couldn't." Mostly because her last memory of that place was Derek walking in on her and Mark and throwing her out on the rain at night. How was she supposed to go back there? Besides, that house was full of memories, full of pictures that showed the ghost of the once happy marriage they had, she wasn't strong enough to live through all of that. "After we signed the divorce, I hired some people to take most of the things from the house, they mailed the majority of my clothes, and donated what was left of yours, among some other things. Sorry about that, by the way."

And the pictures, all of the pictures were also mailed to me. But of course that you don't want to hear that.

"No need to apologize, Addie. You did get the house with everything on it. It was your choice what to do with it." Derek conceded, that was his own decision after all, because from the divorce he only wanted his trailer and his land from Seattle, Addison keeping the rest of it was just him hiding from the life he had shared with her.

"Yeah, I guess that was the agreement… I-Uh... I didn't sell it. I just couldn't… I hired a real estate agency, but I didn't want to take any offer they were finding. They had many suggestions, but at the end, we decided to only rent it. That's how it is now. I think the tenants are a couple of lawyers and their three kids." A couple just like they were, with the children they once dreamed to have, she hasn't talked about that property with anyone else besides her lawyer, not even with Sam, but sharing it with Derek just felt right, after all, that used to be his home too and even though it now belonged only to Addison, it felt good to share that information with him.

"You know that you don't owe me any explanation about it, right? It's your house, it's up to you to decide what to do with it…" He should have stopped there, but he didn't. "But now that you say it, I'm glad that you kept it." That house had been a big part of their marriage, of their relationship and letting it go completely would mean that significance had been meaningless. That's probably why he had "gently" offer it to Addison during the divorce, because at that point of his life, he would have just gotten rid of it, but he knew that she would take care, not only of keeping the house, but also of all the memories that it contained.

Addison didn't reply to Derek's last sentence, she only filled both of their cups with wine and took another sip of it. For a moment, she allowed herself to stare at the ocean and just breathe the fresh breeze coming from it, that was all the peace she needed at that moment, and despite of those melancholic memories, she was glad that he was the one there with her.

"So… We've covered your family, your break-up, well, sort-of… And also the destiny of the Brownstone…" Addison began, turning her eyes back to her ex-husband who was listening carefully to her words. "How are you doing, Derek? And I'm seriously asking, how are things back in Seattle?" She asked.

Seattle, that was the only thing he didn't want to talk about, but then again… That's an acceptable question for two friends catching up, because that was all they were doing, right?

Right?

"Yeah, well, you know that things in Seattle are always…"

"Full of drama? Intense? Exhausting? Overwhelming?" Addison tried to guess before he could even finish the sentence.

"Those are a lot of words, seems like you have you own concept for Seattle, don't you?" Addison rolled her eyes, but before she could even protest, he continued. "But yes, let's call it like that… Let's just say that I'm glad that my stay got extended for a couple weeks."

"Call it however you want, I just know that once you're back, you will never hear the end of it from Mark… He will never let go the fact that you're enjoying a place like L.A." She laughed, at that point, she couldn't even remember the last time that she had laughed this much in a day. "I'm sure that he misses you already. I bet he had something to say when you told him that you were staying longer." Addison was glad that the damages she had done on Mark and Derek's friendship was over by now, and it made her happy that the two of them were close again. "Did he ever tell you how he wanted to stay here and learn how to surf?"

No, but he did tell me about how you two spent that time together. But why should I care about that?

"Come on, only because he's a plastic surgeon doesn't mean that L.A is ready for him." Derek laughed along with Addison, ignoring the fact that he did know some things about Mark's visit, facts that for the sake of the evening he wouldn't mention. "And no, I haven't mentioned that I'm staying here for a bit longer, that's a secret that you and I can keep from him. I think Mark can survive two weeks without me, he would surely find better company."

"Oh, I have zero doubts about it."

Both of them shared a laugh and kept drinking of their respective glasses of wine, simply enjoying each other's company, talking like they would do it before they were make things awkward between them, just like in those old times when they would never get tired of listening to what the other had to say.

Seems like this "friends" crap wasn't that bad after all, Amelia was wrong.

Derek kept having that thought whenever his conversation with Addison progressed.

"How about you, Addie? What's going on with you? I don't think we've had any proper conversation since a couple of months ago, you know, that time when I called you after…" Derek didn't know how to put it into words, but the last time they've actually spoken before his arrival to L.A was after he found out about his former mother-in-law's passing. As soon as he heard about it, he took his phone and spoke to Addison for an hour straight.

"Yes, after Bizzy." Addison completed Derek's sentence, even though it hasn't been that long, the simple thought of it was still inconceivable.

"Yes, exactly… How are you dealing with that?" Derek asked concerned, the truth is that he had always respected Bizzy since the moment that he met her, and finding out about her passing felt unreal, even if he hasn't spoken to her in years, he always had always appreciated her.

"Well, you know that Bizzy and I, we weren't exactly close. Of course that it took me by surprise because it was completely unexpected and she had just gotten married…"

"To Susan, right? I – I would have never imagined that. I mean – I'm not trying to sound rude or anything, it's just that…" Derek's voice was as surprised as he was the first time that he heard about it.

"I know, believe me, I helped her plan that wedding and that was my only thought during the whole time. She kept saying that since she planned our wedding, so I had to deal with this one."

"That sounds like something that she would say."

FLASHBACK 1994
NEW YORK - WEDDING PLANNING

"We just have to tell her about what we want for the wedding, I'm sure she will understand, Addie." Derek suggested while he joined his fiancée for a meeting with her mother, it was the first time that they were seeing her after the proposal. Even though they didn't have any specific plan for their wedding, they just knew that Bizzy wanted to make a big event out of it.

"Honey, you still don't know her well enough. She's not the kind of woman who's interested on other people's opinions, even if we're the ones actually getting married, it will be all Bizzy." Addison protested. "I still don't understand why you had to promise her that she will be in charge of the wedding planning."

"Addie, she offered herself for it, I can't just say no to Bizzy… I mean, she's Bizzy, not even you can say no to her, and I was trying to get on her good side, besides she and The Captain had just agreed that I was a fitting guy for you, I didn't want them to change their mind." Derek tried to explain how did he end up accepting Bizzy's offering to plan the wedding.

"Wait, you asked for their approval before proposing?" She asked still a bit surprised, not that she was still over the fact that they've gotten engaged and will be getting married soon. "I mean, it's nice that you did that and I really appreciate it, I do but as I said before, you don't know my mother well enough, Derek."

"What can I say? Your family seemed to like the gesture… Which is why I couldn't just refuse when she offered to plan the ceremony and the reception." Derek once again tried to excuse himself for agreeing with Bizzy. "Look, maybe we're just over reacting, maybe she will change her mind once she notices that the only thing that we want is our family and friends next to us celebrating how much we love each other."

"Clearly you don't know her well-enough, honey. You say that now, just wait until we see everything that she has in mind for the wedding." She held her fiancée's hand as they walked into the restaurant where Bizzy was expecting them. The older woman was already there, joined by a glass of a dry martini on her right hand.

"Bizzy. You arrived earlier." Addison announced as they joined her at the table, while Derek approached to his soon-to-be mother-in-law and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek.

"Nice to see you, Bizzy. Thanks for taking the time to come all the way here and meet us." Derek on the other hand, tried to be polite to the older woman, he was planning to stay on her good side, which made Addison roll her eyes.

"Nice to see you too, Derek." Bizzy replied with that same smile that she would use to get through each meeting of her many charities. "Some of us do appreciate punctuality, Addison. You should know that."

Addison was about to say something else but Derek held her hand this time and gave her a quick look with a warm smile, he didn't need to say anything else to let her know that he was on her side.

"So, I've started to check some of the places for the reception, but at this point I'm between the Carlyle or the Plaza, those counting the amount of guests that I'm expecting to invite, which would be around two hundred."

"Two hundred? Bizzy that's ridiculous, we don't even know that many people."

"Addison, your manners." Bizzy rolled her eyes and took a sip of her glass before continuing the conversation. "The two hundred guests are only from our side, dear. We still need to check with Derek's family on how many people they're planning to invite." She stated.

"Bizzy, can we just…" Addison tried to add something into the conversation, but Bizzy wasn't done talking.

"Addison, do not interrupt me, dear, I'm still not finished." Bizzy took her agenda from her purse and opened it to keep reading the many plans that she had, she had already chosen the church where they will be getting married, she had some opinions on the Bridesmaid's dresses, about the venue and practically about every single detail that neither Derek or Addison would have even considered.

"…So, you chose an autumn wedding for us, what's wrong with a summer wedding? It's what Derek and I wanted on the first place."

"No one wants a wedding in the middle of a summer hot weave, that's a common knowledge." Bizzy explained.

"I think having the wedding during the fall wouldn't be that bad, Addie. Bizzy has a point, we don't want people sweating during the ceremony, right?" Derek agreed with his future mother-in-law while still holding his fiancée's hand.

"Come on, don't tell me you're taking her side, Derek."

"There aren't sides to take, Addison, this is your wedding we're talking about. I'll make sure we're on schedule for everything, I've hired people already to deal with the flowers, the dresses and the venue. Believe me when I say that all the guests will be delighted with everything that I've planned for you too. Consider it the beginning of my wedding gift for you two." Bizzy explained, she wasn't willing to change her mind and she wouldn't, both Addison and Derek had to understand that their wedding wasn't just about them, it was meant to be the event of the year on Bizzy's circle and she had to make sure that everything was just perfect.

"What Addison is trying to say is that yes, we're grateful that you are offering to plan the wedding, it's incredible how you have everything ready by now, it's just that… When we were picturing our wedding day, we imagined something more… Simple? Yes, something more simple, as in our families and friends, I mean, it will be our special day and we honestly just want to share it with the people that we care about." Derek tried to intermediate between the mother and daughter, but Bizzy of course didn't accept what they were suggesting.

"This wedding isn't just about you two, dear. If you think that a Forbes Montgomery will have a small ceremony, then you're certainly getting into the wrong family." Bizzy sentenced Derek's opinion while he was left speechless.

It was Addison who had to intervene this time, and as she also wasn't used to say no to Bizzy, she didn't have much choice to agree, she didn't want any confrontation between her future husband and her mother, so as she had learned over the years, it was better just to accept Bizzy's choices.

"Fine, you get to plan the wedding, you seem to have everything noted down already. But I have one condition, I get to choose my own wedding dress and Derek's suit… Also the dresses for the Bridesmaids, and the cake. You get to deal with the guest list, decorations, reservations and everything that you just mentioned."

"I wouldn't expect it otherwise, dear. Believe me, the Montgomery-Shepherd wedding will be the event of the century. Now if you two excuse me, I have several calls to make. It was nice to see you both, I'll let you know when can we meet again to let you know about the details for the wedding, in the meantime, don't make any plan for mid-October."

Saying that, Bizzy Forbes Montgomery left the table, leaving the soon-to-be husband and wife alone at the table.

"Can you believe how she made her way for it? I mean, according to her plans, the wedding will be in six months from now and she already knows not only the flowers that she's choosing, but also she's already calling us Montgomery-Shepherd." Addison protested after losing her mother from sight.

"Well, the way I see it, she's already taking care of everything, that means that we can focus on each other and to keep our sanity at least until mid-October." Derek smiled at Addison. "Also, what's wrong with Montgomery-Shepherd? I like how good our names sound together."

"There's nothing wrong with our names together, it's just that I wasn't expecting to hear it first from Bizzy… Besides, I was thinking that once we're married I should change my name to just Addison Shepherd."

"Well, let me tell you something, Addison Shepherd sounds way better and I can't wait to meet her… Even if it takes a wedding as big as the one Prince Charles and Princess Diana had back in the day." Derek teased her with a smile, at that point he didn't care about Bizzy, his only interest was getting through the wedding and finally call Addison his wife.

"Well, they certainly didn't have Bizzy as a wedding planner, so maybe we can expect something bigger. I mean, you heard the woman, it's supposed to be the event of the century."

END OF THE FLASHBACK

"Yeah, she had her own special way to deal with things, if I close my eyes, I can still see her holding her martini and calling our wedding the event of the century. She was a very remarkable woman; you know?" Derek smiled briefly remembering his formed mother-in-law and how she managed to pull through every single detail of their wedding.

"I guess after… After what happened, we just had to learn how to move on… Life still goes on, there are still patients that need me completely focused and lives that I can actually save, I guess that thought is what makes me go forward." Addison admitted, for the first time since those dreadful events, she was being honest about her feelings about it, after all, probably Derek was one of the few people that she could open up like that and still find comfort.

"Of course, that's completely understandable. It's good that you're taking it like that, I know that it isn't an easy process but slowly it gets better." Derek suggested, unfortunately he had to learn that lesson while he was still a child, and even though the time didn't make it easier, he had been able to move on ever since, and he only hoped for Addison to do the same.

"Yeah, even though it was different for both Archer and the Captain, for them the grieve it's taking a bit longer than you'd expect." Addison admitted, for some days she thought that the news of Bizzy's death would end up affecting her the most among her family, but both her father and her brother seemed to have a harder time dealing with the aftermath.

"Well, it's understandable, even for them. I mean, even if they were divorced, they did spend many years together, you can't just erase that, some feelings just never go away, no matter how much you try to hide them…" Was that something applying only for the Captain or was he referring to his own situation?

What? No, that's not me, that can't be me.

"…And about Archer, well, I'm not so sure about him. I've spent many years convincing myself that he doesn't have a soul, or even a single human emotion." And that last phrase broke the serious tone they've been using during this part of their conversation, because both of them laughed after that comment.

"Come on, Derek. You know he's not that bad." Over the years they've spent together, Addison tried for Derek and Archer to have a good relationship, like the one she had with his sisters, but both of them made it impossible.

"Addie, I saved his life, I was literally inside of his brain, that gives me the right to say that he doesn't have a human emotion. Besides, I'm sure that he had said much worse."

Addison took a sip of her glass of wine before answering with all honestly.

"You're not wrong."

Once again, there was a brief silent between them, where only the clash of the waves was the only sound filling the room.

This place is so relaxing, so refreshing. Or is it maybe the fact that I've been talking to Addison as we used to before we claimed to hate each other?

"Look…" Addison was the one breaking the silence this time, also interrupting Derek's thoughts. "I'm going to tell you something, and when I do, you do not get to laugh and you do not get to gloat." She warned him, knowing Derek as much as she did, Addison knew that he will end up gloating as soon as she said those words she's been wanting to tell him since the moment when she called him earlier that day.

"Why would I gloat?" Derek on the other side was confused over that statement, what on earth could she even say to him that would make him gloat? Especially when they were just talking about sensitive topics.

"Derek, you have to promise it." Addison insisted once more, she wouldn't say anything unless he would agree on her terms.

"Fine, I won't laugh and I won't gloat. I promise. What is it?" Derek asked curious once again.

"Sam and I broke-up." Addison confessed, that was probably the only thing she thought they would end up talking about when she first invited him in, but after their conversation prove her wrong, she thought that it was better just say it, not to mention that it was the first time that she was saying that out loud, and not only that, Derek was officially being the first person to know about Sam and Addison's break-up.

As much as Derek was trying his best not to do it, a triumphant smile appeared on his face, which made Addison roll her eyes.

"You know; you could at least try not to look so happy about it. Damn it, Derek, I said no gloating. You're breaking your word." As soon as Addison said those words, Derek busted into laughter. "And now you're laughing, Derek. What's wrong with you?" Addison protested.

"I swear that I'm trying not to do it." He was truly trying to control his smile, but what was the point of hiding it? Addison surely deserved much better than Sam Bennett. "Will you at least tell me what happened? I mean, you said it earlier, we're friends and friends talk about their break-ups."

"No, we're not talking about Sam. That's all I'm saying about it. I just – I just thought that you should know that."

"Fine, just because it's always better not to talk about him." As much as he was curious about what went down between them, an evening without speaking about Sam sounded like a much better idea. "But there's actually something that we should talk about…" Derek's voice was more serious this time, his arms were resting over the table, very close to Addison's. "And no, it's not about him but… Me being here… Is it related to what you just said? Because, let's face it, Addie, yesterday we weren't even on speaking terms and now we've talking and laughing through the evening, and being honest I've been having the greatest time since I arrived here… So, I'm asking… Is it related to what you're saying?"

Addison this time didn't smile, of course she was also enjoying the evening and sure, her break-up with Sam was the main reason why she had called Derek to join her, she needed a "friend" in that moment and Derek had always been one of her best companions. "Well… Things change, Derek. There was a time when I thought of you as my best friend, and being honest, we did have a very nice friendship before everything. Besides, you're not that bad of a company when you're not annoying me."

"Is that your way to say that you missed having me around? For what I've seen you have many new friends here, I'm sure any of them could've filled my place here this evening and hear all about your break-up, probably you will be able to deliver more information to them, because let's face it, as happy as it makes me that you're no longer with Sam, the last thing I want to hear is about you and Samuel Bennett."

"Don't read too much into it, I just invited you over for dinner. I needed a friend and considering that Naomi and I aren't on the best terms, you seemed to be the best choice besides you're my oldest friend here right now. That's all." Addison tried to explain herself but she was not convincing Derek, damn it, she wasn't even convincing herself with that excuse.

He was right after all, why calling him out of all the friends that she had there? The truth was simple, she wanted him there, she couldn't keep him away, damn it, she couldn't even stop thinking about him. However, the truth wasn't as "friendly" as she claimed it.

"So, that's what we are supposed to be, Addison? Two friends from college? Your oldest friend? Because the last time I checked, I was way more than that. Damn it, Addison, for the eleven years that we spent together, you can't just say that we're just friends because that's not what we are, no matter how much you're trying to convince yourself, we were never just friends." Derek corrected her, he was just tired to pretend otherwise, because unlike Addison he didn't want to keep hiding what has been going on through his mind over the past few days.

"Fine, we're not just two friends from college. And yes, we were never just friends, because since the moment I met you I knew that I wanted to marry you. Is that what you want to hear? That I called you because you're my ex-husband and even though we both messed up our relationship I can't stop thinking about that fucking kiss? A kiss that was supposed to be meaningless and still is making me lose my mind? Is that what you want to hear, Derek?" She started to raise her voice, Derek always had that special talent to make her lose her mind, especially when he was right about something that she wanted to keep denying.

Addison left her seat, she wanted to approach to the sea and let the sound of the waves of the ocean to relax her, but Derek followed her to stand right in front her, blocking the relaxing view.

"Addison… We're not just friends." Derek insisted.

"The hell we're not."

Addison had this urge to put an end to the many hours of conversation, which is why she stopped thinking again and simply did the only thing that she's been wanting to do not only since he walked into the house, but also since Amelia walked into office three days ago and interrupted that kiss.

And that was exactly what Addison did, her lips quickly mashed against his, as if trying to flatten his lips would make him simple stop calling her a friend, she wanted him to know that she hated that term. Derek hungrily pushed back, his mouth open, tongue pushing past her clenched teeth to the moist space within. The bristles of his beard scratched against her soft cheeks as she gripped his head firmly. She worked her mouth against his, their tongues battling back and forth like wrestlers, each trying to pin the other.

They only stopped for a brief second to take air, and it took less than that for Derek to continue that hungry kiss, one that not only was putting an end to all of those repressed feelings from days ago, but also it was their way to act on those unsaid words that neither one of them were able to say out loud.

Heat rose from Addison's stomach to her chest once that Derek's lips were getting closer again and her heart decided to skip a beat, the smell of him hypnotic beyond reason. She parted her lips and felt him washing over like a wave of warmth, curling her toes, unfurling all her senses as the taste of him nearly silenced all thoughts.

As if time had sopped right there, as they both left the table to take things to a more fitting place of the house, the living room, perhaps, but still glued to one another.

"Addison." Derek whispered against her lips, he didn't want to stop, he couldn't not this time, not unless she wanted to.

"Shut up… And don't you dare to stop." Addison demanded, not being able to think about something different than Derek's lips over her.

Her whole body tingled, the feel of his frame leaning on hers as his arms wrapped around her felt nearly forbidden. He pulled her in, claiming her mouth again, hungry and intense, until her knees gave in. By the time Addison became aware of her fingers, they had already slipped under his shirt, his skin smooth and radiating heat.

At this point, she wasn't able to think and being honest, she didn't want to. Even if there will be consequences, she will deal with them tomorrow, right now, she only wanted him and much as he wanted her.

A/N: Aaaaand that happened, did you see it coming? I'm sorry for stopping there, but you'll have more Addek interaction of the following chapters. I also love writing the Christmas flashback, because we're still on their season, so it still counts, right? I will start working on the next chapter and will try to update before my holidays end and life gets again in the way.

Anyway, I hope that you all had a Merry Christmas and wish you a Happy New Year 2022!