The sounds of celebration and hum of talk filled the royal family's dining hall and reached to the balcony where Loki stood alone, gazing at the dark starry infinity, his thoughts flying worlds away. He was accompanied by two of his personal guards who had learned to give him enough space that he required as if they'd been just his bodyguards. No more chains and shackles, which he found as a huge improvement to his situation. It was the first time after his return from Midgard he was invited to a ceremonial dinner with his family, "friends" and the court, celebrating their newfound peace with the Jotuns. He would have rather skipped the whole thing and stayed in his chambers lazing around the evening than pretended to be enjoying the feast held for him. Just for the sake of formality he attended to it and sat at Odin's table with the rest of his adoptive family, ate and listened to the boring speeches and endured the suspicious stared from the other tables. Even in Jotunheim he had received a warmer welcome than here.
As he saw that his required time was met, he excused himself from the dinner (that usually went on and on the whole night) to catch some air. In the privacy of the balcony he waited for a perfect opportunity to retire subtly, indulging himself with the finest Asgardian sparkling wine he had snatched from one of the servants.
Asgard had a reason to celebrate. It had been such an astounding surprise how effortlessly they had entered on negotiations with the Jotuns. It almost felt too good to be true since it was Loki who clearly had been the key ingredient to keep up the connection between the negotiating parties in Jotunheim. Every time a friction of opinions or temperaments was about to get too serious, Loki had a way to soothe things as though he'd been a natural negotiator. The truth was he had hated it. It was not his nature as the father of chaos but he enjoyed enormously being able to orchestrate both sides. And if he should have so decided, he could have surreptitiously manipulated the parley at any direction he'd have pleased, even break the fragile peace. It had been so very tempting thought, but it was Frigga's last words she had whispered to him before he left Asgard that had kept his wavering mind focused on the mission; "Find the strength in you on this quest. You must come back home, Loki. If not for me then for her sake." Yes, for Emma, he had kept telling himself.
"Why do I always find you gazing silently at the infinity of the universe, my darling boy?" Frigga asked tenderly as she entered the balcony, finding her son there.
With a mild smile Loki cast a glance at her as she moved next to him, the sounds coming from the dining hall just meaningless background noise to him. He heaved a sigh before he spoke, "Because there is nothing worth to look at behind me."
"Maybe you don't realize but you are much like the younger Odin I knew. He too used to come here brooding over his decision when there was a banquet to attend to." Frigga tilted her head and met Loki's glance, knowing very well what he was undergoing. "We are here celebrating you and your achievements. You could at least try to pretend you are enjoying yourself," she suggested and stroke his arm.
Loki toasted his golden goblet to her. "I am. See?" He took a sip, letting the bubbling drink caress his taste buds before he swallowed it down. "Or, are you perhaps saying I should join the other pretenders, believing that the peace treaty was accomplished by pure good fortune?" he scoffed quietly and glanced behind him at the tables, abundant with food, and festively dressed people feasting around them.
"Loki, you did something remarkable, more than anyone could have asked for. You alone brought about peace between Asgard and Jotunheim," Frigga whispered admiringly. "Your father and I, we are both so proud of you."
"I am sorry. Did we hear the same speech Odin gave tonight?" Loki asked wryly. "If it had been Thor's achievement, Odin would have been gushing over about his son's deeds for months. I am surprised he bothered to mention my name in his grand declamation, giving me a bit recognition of my... diplomacy."
Frigga knew better than anyone that Loki had put his everything at stake, taking the greatest personal risk by revealing his true parentage to the Jotuns. No matter how noble his purpose had been, his decision was irreversible and he feared he would be seen only as a Jotun by those who had witnessed his act in Jotunheim. Odin however adjured them all to keep quiet about the happenings in the land of the Frost Giants, making it very clear that anyone breaking the oath would doing it under the pain of treason and the consequences would be severe. The thing was that secrets so tremendous were bound to be spilled at some point.
"He is only trying to protect you. Asgard is not yet ready to learn about your true origin, but I am sure that time will come."
Loki held Frigga's gaze for a moment, ever so grateful for having her in his life. Then his gaze dropped and returned to the feast. Leaning his back on the balcony railing, he watched at the celebrating Asgardians through the large, open doorway. Without him, they would have been on a battle instead of a banquet right now. This was supposed to be his big day and yet he felt like he was only an observer of his own life, not really living it. He had never belonged there among those people. He had no one there to share his victory with. A victory that in Asgardian methods should have been earned with blood instead of peaceful talking.
"You do not even know who you really are, do you, son?" Nál, the Jotun queen, asked him. And that was weeks ago when they visited the ruined Jotunheim the first time.
Once they were given a moment to speak alone after their first round of successful negotiations, Nál took Loki at the ruin of the ancient temple in Utgard and enlightened him about the very beginning of his life. And he had kept contemplating her story ever since;
"Some believed that your mother Farbauti was an oracle. I know she was a strong woman with great wisdom... and magic. Laufey saw her worth the moment he set his eyes on her and forced her to become his queen. At the time I was but a concubine to him, but Farbauti and I became close like sisters. It was no secret that she hated your father and even more so when he let his army into Midgard in an attempt to conquer the world of mortals. She warned him he would only bring about his own downfall and curse us all. If only he would have listened to her.
You, Lopt, were born before Laufey set off to Midgard. He had been expecting a strong heir but the frail son he got did not meet his expectations. He gave you one look and ordered your mother to get rid of you before he returns. She refused. In spite of her scorn and hatred towards Laufey, she loved you with all her heart. I saw it in the way she nurtured you and sang to you. And I watched and envied her love for her child. She would have never abandoned you no matter how ill-fitted you were for the throne. Then came the war and the Asgardians. Farbauti blamed Laufey for bringing the death and destruction to our world as the Asgardians responded to his attack in Midgard and soon the fighting was here and we all know how that played out.
When our men were in battle, she led women and children in safety to Utgard. She took you into the temple, to safe as much from the battle as from your father. She kissed your forehead and said that 'you should become as sly as a serpent to survive in this world'. I was already expecting Byleistr and she asked me to stay with you to protect you when she left to defend our stronghold. They said she fought bravely and killed many Asgardians, protecting you and her people. When Laufey returned, defeated from the battlefield, he found his queen mortally wounded on the gates of Utgard. She died in his arms, knowing that you were taken by Allfather and she swore to Laufey that his death shall come by the hands of her son who will one day avenge her and lift the curse Laufey cast on our world with his actions. Many of our warriors heard her words. After her death she was considered nearly as a saint since she saved our young ones and people told her tale for centuries. So, when you came, declaring your grand purpose here, we knew who you were. Maybe Farbauti was an oracle after all and you will return prosperity to our realm. So, when we bow to you, we do not bow to Asgard, we bow to the son of Farbauti and the firstborn of our king."
So, had this been his glorious purpose? To fulfill his biological mother's last prediction. At least he was on the right tracks on that; he had killed Laufey which now somehow had a finer justification in his opinion and he was still working hard with his promise to restore Jotunheim. After seeing it, he was unable to forget the terrible obliteration the Bifrost did to Jotunheim, what he did to Jotunheim, but he was going to help them to repair it. They had already delivered tools to Jotuns for rebuilding, the finest tools of all the Nine Realms made by the dwarves of Nidavellir.
The main question in the negotiations had been however the Casket of Ancient Winters which Odin wasn't willing to return to its rightful owners. For that Loki had a solution; why not let him wield the Casket because he was the only Asgardian able to do it. Of course he was only making a jest but after considering it thoroughly, Odin shocked him by agreeing with him. The Casket was presented to Loki on their next official visit to Jotunheim and he was allowed to wield it and begin to restore the proper climate to the land of the Frost Giants'. Hesitatingly he accepted. And once he wielded it, releasing its true power, he felt like becoming as one with his forefathers who had wielded the weapon long before him. The raw force of the thousand winters in his grasp felt simply overwhelming and enrapturing and brought out his true essence. After he was done, and the bleak land rested under snow and ice once more, it took long before his own appearance returned to his Asgardian form.
Lopt the son of Farbauti gained the favor of his people rather quickly. He was the prodigy son of their former queen who was destined to restore their realm and was seen as their salvation now, thus treated with cautious respect. Despite his efforts it became clear to Loki that the queen Nál had no intention to let him steal the throne from her own sons, but neither was she overly sorrowful for her husband's death who had done nothing to heal his decaying kingdom. And his Jotun brothers; they were like two big ugly Thors really, finding their new older brother quite small and feminine compared to an average Jotun male. They didn't take him so well but it could have been much worse. Loki understood their envious minds perfectly well and found out that they were even easier to manipulate than Thor.
Loki realized rather quickly that he had everything to thank for his birth mother who had illuminated his path for him a long ago. Farbauti had truly loved him as her son. It had been so very difficult to accept and it was made even harder to acknowledge that she had given her life trying to protect him, the unworthy son. You should become as sly as a serpent to survive in this world. That had he become, a trickster, fulfilling his mother's last wish his whole life. And yet the last few months he had been making every effort to restrain that side of his which loved to create chaos around him. It would have been so much fun to freeze Odin and his companions with the Casket when he had the change but there had been this small voice inside of him, telling him to forget about it. It had sounded very much like Emma's voice.
Loki swirled the bubbling wine in his goblet a while and mentally toasted to Farbauti where ever her soul dwelled and then emptied his cup with a one gulp. To all the women who had truly ever loved him.
Frigga watched him silently. He was groomed, attractive and his attire immaculate, but he looked like he had aged in a few months more than in the last few decades. Maybe it was that he was simply tired with all his hard efforts. "What is on your mind, dear?" she asked quietly.
His charming smile came at first as the chronic cover-up of his true emotions. Then his smile faded and he looked sad as he poured himself a refill. "I just feel like... I do not know who I am anymore." He heaved a tired sigh and placed the empty wine pitcher on the wide stone railing. "I miss being me. I miss playing tricks," he divulged, took a sip of wine and pointed his cup towards the dining hall. "Just look at that. All that potential for creating a bit chaos is going to waste."
"Loki?" Frigga sighed, knowing that there had to be more than that.
He looked at her pleadingly. "Oh, just one snake, please? It does not have to be a big one. Just an itsy-bitsy snake?"
Frigga shook her head. "Would you really want to spoil all of you achievements for a trick? Really, Loki?" she asked earnestly. She took his free hand and conjured a gift for him, placing it on his palm; a golden apple of Idunn. She glanced far at the edge of their realm where the golden observatory stood alone, its dome nearly finished. Then she lifted her eyes at his. "It won't take long now when the Bifrost will open to us again. Make sure you too are ready then."
Loki stared down at her gift, understanding her unspoken message that went something like this 'My first grandchild is way more important than any of your damn tricks, boy'.
His features softened as he closed his palm around the golden fruit. They had have plenty of the apples on the dinner table but he hadn't touch them even was allowed to eat as many as he wanted again. He wasn't going to indulge himself with them until he would be able to share the gift with his Emma.
"Here you two are!" Thor exclaimed eagerly as he found his brother and mother. "Loki, come to drink with us. I already put ice in your mead."
Loki gave his brother a sorry look, finding Thor's offer not so very tempting. He doubted that Thor's friends would be welcoming him enthusiastically to their table. "Please, forgive me, Thor. I think I am off to bed now," he said and put his goblet away.
"Already?" Thor looked offended, glancing at Frigga and then Loki. "But... we are all waiting for you."
Loki peered at Thor's friends who were eying at him behind their goblets of mead. "Yes, I can see how thrilled they are with the idea of downing mead with me. Especially Hogun. He can barely hide his enthusiasm," Loki jested and Thor too glanced at his sullen friend who had an expression variety of Steven Seagal.
Thor chuckled, being visibly drunk. "Don't mind about them. They are trying to adapt to your new status," he said and clasped Loki's neck in his brotherly grip. "This is your feast, Loki! You have been stuck in your chambers long enough."
"Sorry. It has been a very long few months. Some other evening, perhaps?" Loki suggested. Then his brow rose. "Unless you will allow me to put a tiny snake in lady Sif's drink?"
Frigga shook her head and Thor frowned, releasing his brother. "Off you go to sleeping then, brother!"
Bidding goodnight to Frigga and Thor, Loki only wished to saunter out of the dining hall without drawing any more attention. It was not so easy task since his loyal guards kept following him around and he seemed to attract attention now days like a gaze magnet. His attempt of departure was noticed by lady Thyra who emerged into the doorway as he was nearly out.
She made an effort to block his way and greeted him with a moderated smile. "Prince Loki, leaving so soon?"
Seeing her again, Loki had to concentrate for being careful not to crush the precious golden apple in his palm. "That was the plan. Yes," he stated simply. He was so not going to apologize to her.
He discerned the visible difference in her. Her ginger hair was braided around her head like a crown and her overly garish style in her dress colors was replaced by more restrained pastel turquoise and she wore emerald earrings. His color, he realized. Was she wearing his colors now? Could she be any more obvious? Clearly no one had told her yet the secret that the prince she was pursuing was really a Jotun.
"My lord, I beg your indulgence. Please, accept my apologies for offending you the last time we met. I admit I acted foolishly. I am sorry." The words ran out of her mouth fluidly as though she had been practicing her line the whole day. She looked up at him uneasily, clearly expected him to return the favor.
Loki stared down at her slightly annoyed and noticed with a glimpse to his side that her lady friends seemed to be keenly observing their encounter. In fact everybody did, including dear Frigga. What a perfect opportunity to sow a little seed of mischievousness, he thought and nodded. "Your apology is accepted," he responded formally and smiled then in his most charming way. "Maybe I should have left unsaid the things I said to you and kissed you instead," he reasoned quietly and saw how her icy smile melted into a warmer one. "I like your choice of jewellery, lady Thyra. The color is very becoming of you," he flattered and touched the sparkling emerald of her earring. He let his fingers graze softly the side of her neck as he pulled his hand away just for the sake of the show.
She stared at him intensely in response, his bold acknowledgement giving her unshameful pleasure in front of all the court. He had dared to insult her a few weeks ago and call her a harlot but maybe he was beginning to grow on her as she had hoped. "Thank you, my lord," she purred. "So, is it true? Did you quell Jotun's resistance and brought them on their knees?"
Ah, the rumors were already running wild. Loki answered with a smug grin, placing his hands behind his back and rolling the apple in his fingers, "I do not confirm nor deny it."
She looked suddenly very excited. "Was Jotunheim as vile and barren as they say?"
"Oh, yes. And as cold and desolate as my bed is. Now, if I may, I will take my leave. Have a good night, my lady... with whomever you will share it with," he said enigmatically.
He glanced around to see how quickly the people turned to look away from him as though meeting his sharp emerald gaze could have impaled them.
"I am sure I will," Thyra smiled like a wanton, pondering had that been an invitation and met her father's judging gaze across the dining hall. If the former bad boy of Asgard was gaining recognition in Odin's speeches, she had every reason to try to take advantage of the opportunity.
Loki left the dining hall, his entourage of guards following on his tail. He had slipped away without apologizing to that cheap, opportunistic woman and probably planted some rumors that there was something intimate between them two. And when the truth about his parentage would finally come into open, she would be the one feeling disgraced by wooing a Front Giant which her family so much despised.
"Do not let anyone enter into my quarters tonight! I am very tired. I need to rest," Loki told to his guards as they reached to the threshold of his chambers. He gave a strict order incase that outrageous red-head had taken the bait and would actually come offering to warm up his cold, desolate bed.
"Yes, my lord." The guards nodded and remained outside, keeping watch as always.
Loki heaved a sigh of relief as he was back in the sanctuary of his own chambers. It was strange how quickly he had adapted to appreciate too much the perfect solitude of his imprisonment. He placed the golden apple on the antechamber's table and ambled towards his bed chamber, undressing his festive long coat. He closed the pair of doors of his bed chamber and cast a spell the keep them locked.
Finally a genuine smile manifested on his lips, because he decided that it was time to have a date with a certain lovely mortal. Maybe it was all the wine loosening his inhibitions, but he needed to see her.
... ...
Author note: This was a short one, but the next chapter will finally claim the M rating.
Masalta2 and The True Hero Of Skill thank you for your reviews.