It was the gut feeling that had woken her in the middle of the night, the one that made her skin going on goosebumps and sends cold shivers down her spine. Emma knew something was wrong the moment she sneaked down the stairs and eyed suspiciously at the dim living room. The door to the veranda was widely ajar and she felt the cold air flooding in, the gentle chilly breeze caressing her bare skin as she wore only an oversized t-shirt as a nightgown and underpants. She shivered but not because of the cold. Her hands clenched into fists as she moved stealthily across the living room on bare foot, her senses sharpening in the darkness, trying to sniff out anything suspicious around her.
"Logan!" she called out her father whispering, not sensing him around.
But she could tell there was something else and that feeling only grew stronger with every quiet step she took on the hardwood floor, her heart pounding faster. If it was those damn raccoons again, she was going to skin their little furry asses.
No! She knew what was going to happen next. It was the same dream again. The SHIELD agents were lurking in the shadows, just waiting to charge in and she would fight them, kill them all. She would find their footprints on the snow outside and that's when it starts. She had lived this same thing over and over again dozens of times.
She made it to the door. The width veranda outside was quiet and dark and there was no one there. No footprints on the snow, nothing. Puzzled, she pulled the door close and made sure it was locked. But it didn't block out the menacing feeling that had grasped her. Where were the agents? Where was the fight?
Then as if someone would have lighted a match, a faint glow of warm light manifested in the dim living room, growing slowly and illuminating the space behind her, conjuring her shadow on the wall. Cautiously, she turned towards the light.
A lonely candle was burning on the table, its tiny flame bravely fighting against the surrounding darkness.
No battle!
It was not that strangely self-lit candle that stole her attention. It was the shiny, golden helmet next to it on the table that did. She let out a feverishly sigh just staring at it before she slowly made her way to the table, mesmerized by it. Hesitatingly she touched a long, golden horn, her fingers sliding along its cold, bendy shape.
Another candle lit on the mantelpiece of the stony fireplace on her left side and she turned towards its inviting light. And there the owner of the helmet emerged in sight from the shadows, draped in black and green. His clothes were more unpretentious and unadorned than she had seen on him, no cape, no golden decorations but his Asgardian suit was perfectly fitting and he looked attractive and so, so sexy.
Emma could almost hear her own heart pounding over her quickened breathing as Loki approached her with slow, composed steps, his intense gaze studying her as though searching for gestures of welcome.
"My love." His voice was smooth and inviting. "There will be no war tonight."
She took only one tiny step closer. "Is this real, Loki?"
He looked somehow sad as he said, "This is as real as it gets."
Real or not, with that promise she went to him, studying him, forgetting everything else around her. She lifted her hand to touch his chest but he took her hand to his cheek, letting her palm caress his face. Emma watched him silently, as he closed his eyes, taking in her touch.
She sighed feverishly, feeling him real, feeling his satin soft skin against her palm. "I've missed you."
His eyes met hers again with such satisfied longing that she got lost in his gaze and never wanted to return. "And I you," he whispered and kissed her fingers, palm and then her wrist. It sent a warm tingling sensation all over her with his smooth voice, making her shivering and wanting those perfect thin lips meeting hers. "Oh, you cannot believe how much I have longed to see you every day, to hold you close every night. I would have crossed even the infinity to steal this moment with you."
The soft words he whispered ethereally against her fingers streamed straight into her heart and he had no idea of the tantalizing impact he had on her. She was on the verge of tears for being so happy to see him and to feel him.
With his other hand he caressed her face gently like she did to him and his thumb followed the delicate arc of her lips. Hesitatingly he let his fingers slid down along her neck and his gaze followed. His hand brushed over her heaving breast while moving straight onto her belly to feel it through her oversized shirt. As though he had known what to look for, he just barely felt the tiniest bump of her belly against his palm and an uncertain joy lighted in his eyes. "And this? It is mine. Yes?"
Bewildered, Emma laid her hand over his that cupped her womb. "How did you know?" His short exploration on her left her hopelessly receptive to him and feeling that she was soon going to dissolve into lust in his hands if he would touch her breasts again. And she wanted that so badly. "You're the father. There's never been any other."
His delightful smile made her completely melt as he tenderly took her face between his palms and lowered his face to let his forehead touch hers. "The Bifrost will be soon open to us. I will come for you, Emma," he promised and his nose rubbed against hers before he planted a kiss on her lips and caressed them with his as he added, "Please. Please, protect this new life inside of you. I promise you will be safe. Wait for me."
"I will... I will," she whispered to his mouth like under a spell and kissed him back, leaning to him.
His arms cradled her, pulling her closer, and his hands ran along her back. She closed her eyes, feeling the honest closeness with him like it would have been magic and she wanted to drown in it. His kiss was lingering and respectful and she was burning for more.
Coyly her tongue ventured through his parted lips and the sensation thrilled him over the edge. Her hands went up for his shoulders to hold him tighter, but couldn't find him. She lost her balance and fell on the floor on one knee and her eyes shot open. He was gone. Just like that. Lost from her again and that deepest feeling of connection between them was fading away.
"Loki?" she whispered at first and the cried out again and turned. He wasn't there anymore and the dim living room felt suddenly so empty. "Please, come back!"
... ...
"Damn!" Loki let out a weak whisper of dismay in the dimness of his chamber.
Sitting on his king-sided bed alone, he buried his aching head between his hands and squeezed his scalp so vigorously as though his fingers were going to dig through his skull as a punishment for his failure.
"Damn it, Loki!" he scolded himself.
He had managed to create a telepathic connection with Emma through her dream and talk with her, but when he touched her and kissed her, his own emotions grew too intense, twisting his carefully concealed link and he couldn't control it any longer. The connection snapped away the moment their kiss grew deeper and more passionate and he lost her when her sweet tongue dipped into his mouth, sending flames of desire consuming his willpower.
They were worlds apart and his restrained magic wasn't enough to sustain the connection with her mind as he was a bit drunk. He had wanted to hold her longer, to make love to her, to talk to her more, to tell her how hard he was working to get back to her, but at least he had reached her even for a small moment. He would draw strength from that moment and devote himself to work even harder for his goal. Odin had to set him free and let him visit Earth once the Bifrost observatory was ready.
Given up, he flumped back on his fluffy pillows and stared up at the green and golden drapes of the bed canopy until his focus blurred in the dark. He pulled his hand down from his forehead and touched his lips, returning to his reverie and could almost taste her mouth, letting his imagination brought her back to him.
She was waiting for him faithfully and it was true; she was in a delicate condition. To his own surprise the thought that he had impregnated her stirred his desires in a whole new way, making him feel more manly and more vigorous. Spreading his genes across the realms. Now, that idea that had never crossed his mind before but it had momentous echo, something inevitably desirable. The woman he loved was going to give him a child and he was going to be there to give his child a real family, not like he had have but a real one. He would protect it, cherish it and give it everything it would ever desire.
And his Emma. He felt his heart beating fiercely for her in his chest under his palm. She had been so athirst for his kiss, her mouth so warm and welcoming and her bare, long legs evoking his desires, that it didn't take much to get himself worked up. Just a wave of hand and he had her there in a very meager and short gown, silky and green, that revealed more than it hid. An approving murmur escaped his throat and he tucked his right arm under his head, drinking the sight of her illusional double that he conjured like many times before. He had to admit that this had become his favorite pastime.
Knowing perfectly well that she was only an illusion, a hollow shell, he gave her attention like she'd been really there. Maybe when he was finished here, he could try again to reach Emma in a less lustful state of mind.
He relaxed and let out an audible breath, studying his enticing creation. "Come here," he urged her whispering and she crawled on the bed to him gracefully and sat astray on his thighs like an obedient courtesan. It was a shame he couldn't feel her or touch her but he had two perfectly good hands and an awfully good imagination.
Her hair was on wild curls and she looked at him in a shyly eager manner. "Is this real, Loki?" she repeated the question Emma had asked him.
"This is as real as it gets for now, my dear."
The illusion temptress bit her bottom lip with a teasing smile, opening the laces of her bodice and revealing more skin.
His focus was captured by her enticing looks as his hand left his chest and wandered over his bare, flat abdomen under the quilt, all the way down in his pants. He found himself fully hard and the beautiful vision in front of him kept him occupied until his vigorous release. After making to the self-attained bliss, he fell asleep, and well-deservedly slept like a baby.
... ...
Emma crawled up on her feet from the living room floor and reflexively swept a hand over her belly, almost feeling Loki's touch still lingering on her tingling skin. She missed it already, his closeness and their overpowering intimacy, craved it like air, craved it like chocolate she'd so used to love, unable to go on without it. Her breathing was fast and uneasy and she was nearly crying for the lost of him as though a part of her had been cut off with him. He had felt so real and adorably tender and she needed him so savagely that she forced him back with her darker desires.
And suddenly, there were possessive hands on her shoulders, turning her towards him. Her heart lurched as she faced Loki again, seeing him garbed in his princely, all black outfit with silvery armors and scales. His features were the same and handsome but his expression was harsh and alien and he looked like he was ready for war or just coming from one where he had left plain death and ruin behind. His intense gaze drilled down on her as though he'd come to claim the spoils of war, and she was in no state to deny him anything as he held her on her place.
There was something very dark and intimidating about this Loki, differing greatly from the one who had vanished. Even so she touched his face gratefully, letting her fingers ran over his thin lips that twisted into a malice smile under her gentle caress. He pulled her to his chest like a raider his prey, all the tenderness gone and replaced by something undefined and predatory. She gasped at his force that challenged her darker side but she surrendered in his demanding embrace willingly.
His other hand clasped around her neck and his thumb held her chin up as his face came to hers. She was already burning for him before he captured her mouth into long ravenous kiss and she couldn't resist him if she would have wanted to. He freed her neck but pressed her body against his whole length and she clutched onto him with the carnal need he was feeding her with. His lips were mercilessly greedy on hers, making her moan in response since he was giving her plenty of more she had asked for. His tongue snaked into her mouth and took what it wanted, evidently killing a handful of her brain cells.
His strong arms coiled around her waist and lifted her up, taking her legs around his hips and she felt the world spinning around her as he carried her to the kitchen to the closest table. The moment her bottom hit on the cold kitchen island, he laid her down on it, hunching over her, standing against the table between her thighs. And all this time his mouth was occupied on hers as though his hunger for her couldn't be tamed with his bruising kissing. The weight of his upper body felt heavy on her and his pressure between her spread legs unrelenting. Her meager nightgown failed poorly to conceal her own arousal as his capable hands traveled on her body exploiting her.
Her lips were sore as his mouth left hers to explore her other parts, hungrily kissing along her neck. Her fingers dived into his long hair and clenched into a knot as his teeth bit her flesh just above her collarbone. He moved downwards to her breasts that felt tender already, her nipples peaking through the fabric of her shirt and welcoming his wet, sucking mouth that made her groan as if it had hurt. It did but in an awfully good way. He lifted himself a bit and hovered on top of her as the big hands ran up along her thighs and ventured under her t-shirt. She was shivering, her insides cramping, as his fingers slipped under the waistband of her boyish underpants and he tore them apart and away from her.
Her breathing had turned into sharp breaths and her body quivered in maddening anticipation. She felt the softness of his black leathers and the cold caress of the metal scales and rivets on her bare belly and against her inner thighs as he returned to her. His hands possessively on her hips, he pulled her against his front, her wetness spreading on his leathers and probably spoiling his expensive clothes.
Emma captured his hands that were venturing under her partly torn t-shirt over her belly and waited until his hot, piercing gaze landed on her eyes. "Loki, I love you," she whispered shivering, dying to hear him returning the words in the heat of passion.
All his movements ceased and his eyes narrowed. "Oh, I know," he sighed in a fervent voice, giving her a smile.
But it was not his charming loving smile she knew. It was a strange, cold smile that didn't feel right anymore. His fingers seized her wrists and he took her hands above her head as if he'd have bound them there. He turned her head to the side with his chin and sucked her earlobe before he whispered into her ear with a hoarse voice; "And I have a little something for you, my love. I know you will appreciate it."
That's when she saw it and her stomach turned into a knot. She saw her father in the dim kitchen lying on the floor eight feet away, his face towards her, his eyes closed, with a dagger stuck deep in his forehead. She recognized the weapon from its hilt as one of Loki's throwing knives.
Her own cry of shock echoed in her ears as she tried frantically freeing her hands that were chained above her head onto the table. She turned at Loki who held her legs apart, caressing her roughly.
"Loki, what have you done? Let me go!" she shouted out, being suddenly unable to move at all. "Logan!"
"Shh," Loki whispered, his finger on her lips. "Everything is going to be all right," he reassured and stepped backwards away from her. His malice tone and smirk were everything but convincing.
In growing panic she glanced at Logan again who wasn't on the floor anymore but on an autopsy table and there were people looking like doctors around him, preparing to cup him open with their monstrous blades.
"No!"
Her heart was pounding so fiercely that it was going to explode. She saw how Loki kept moving away carelessly, waved his hand to her with a gleeful smirk and vanished. More people came into their kitchen that was partly transformed into some sort of hospital's operation room.
"Loki, please! Stop this!"
She was lying on the cold table under bright lights that hurt her eyes, tied up, her legs spread width and fastened to the leg supporters, the same kinds they use to have in the gynecological examination tables. She lied there wet and needy, and helplessly exposed to strangers, scared as hell.
Her belly was suddenly swollen, big and heavy and the round shape of it changed constantly as the baby kept moving inside of her like a pair of restless serpents coiling around each other. It felt like whatever it was, it was going to break its way out of her.
Two doctors in green scrubs and masks emerged next to her, bringing a metal tray of shiny instruments and grotesque things that only a gynecology from hell would use. They prepared the third smaller operating table next to her one and she didn't have to ask to know whom it was for.
"No! No! Stop! You can't do this!" she cried out, her icy claws thrusting out, the ice between her knuckles growing and growing.
Her screams went to deaf ears as the other one of the doctors picked his instrument of choice and moved between her legs like they would have been doing a normal operation. Her huge belly hid his hands but she could feel that he thrust something hard and cold inside of her, that begun spreading her tender parts and she gasped for air crying, her body shuddering in the stranger's hands.
The doctor between her legs glanced down at her calmly and pulled down his mask revealing his face. He wasn't a doctor at all. He was agent Coulson.
"It looks like we are ready to begin, Ms Morgan," he said nonchalantly and picked up some large, crazy forceps from the tray. "I promise this will hurt. Take a deep breath and try to relax now."
Her own roaring scream expelled her nightmare and Emma jerked awake in her bed, still trembling in a fright, her heart throbbing crazy like she'd been dropped off from a plain without a parachute. The room was dark and slightly cool but her body was burning hot, her t-shirt damp with sweat and glued against her chest even she had slept without covers. Her claws were out and she had torn the sheets. She took the opportunity to cool herself a bit and ran the back of her icy claws over her forehead before pulling them back in.
Rolling onto her side, she grabbed a pillow to hug it and curled up into a ball, comforting herself with the fact that it had only been a bad dream. Even so, it had reflected all her real live fears, all of them. And even she believed that agent Coulson was dead, he still kept haunting her like this.
She took a deep breath and exhaled it with a long shivering whimper.
A soft knocking came soon from the door. "A bad dream again?" Logan asked quietly as his tall silhouette appeared partly in the open doorway. Her crying had woken him up in the room next door.
"Uh-uh," Emma managed to answer only with a tearful murmur.
It had begun so perfectly but the end of the dream had been so awful. She had lost everything. Her father, Loki, almost her baby. She never wanted it to happen. And why had Loki been so cold and cruel to her? He had always been gentle to her in her dreams.
When he first came to her, he was so wonderful and gentle, his touch feeling so real and his presence seeming true to her every senses just like she remembered him. The Bifrost will be soon open to us. Wait for me, he had said. She would have waited for that Loki forever, but the other one had been vicious and ruthless and everything that SHIELD had believed him to be. She didn't know what was real anymore but she missed him and her damn hormones made her feel as if she'd been on constant heat.
"Is it... um... safe to come in?" Logan asked cautiously with an awkward tone of voice.
His voice pulled her back from her thoughts and her cheeks were turning red. The last time she woke her father up with her nightly moaning, he stormed into her room his claws out, thinking someone was harming her when in fact she'd been busy with herself fantasizing about her god of mischief. After some serious shouting, they avoided each other for two weeks which was a bit hard when living under the same roof.
"Yeah... I'm cool," she murmured and pulled the shredded sheet for her cover.
Logan clicked the lights on and walked in. She gave him some room and he sat on the edge of her bed, his hair sticking up in a state of mess. "Wanna talk about it?"
Emma sniffed and wiped her moistened eyes to her pillow. In times like this it was good to have her dad around. "I… I had Coulson between my legs…" she stammered, not fully awaken from the intense grip of the nightmare yet.
Logan let out a tired grunt. "Shit! I know I would be weeping too after a nightmare like that."
"Huh? No! It was nothing like that. Jeez, Logan! He was going to pull the baby out of me and… everything was so wrong. It was awful. Loki came to see me, then he was gone, and then back and he behaved strangely. He left me at SHIELD's mercy... and you were dead. They were going to cut us open. All of us." She took Logan's hand and held it tight, her fingers wrapping around his thumb. "Please, don't ever die."
He gave her a sorry smile as she glanced at him. "I'll do my best, kid."
When lying all still, she felt that tender sensation inside her womb as if there'd been something bubbling in her. Those tiny kicks were telling her that her stubborn subtenant was awake too and she placed her hand protectively over her lower belly. 17 weeks, she had counted and the kicks were way stronger than an average baby should have been able to deliver on those weeks.
She smiled, moved by the sensation, and turned at her father. "I think it's kicking."
She couldn't ever forget the baby's first kicks. It had felt like the lightest touches of a tiny goldfish's fin deep inside of her. On that moment she had fell in love with that small thing that had chosen her as its mother.
"Are you sure you're okay? You are burning up. Do you have fever?" Logan said concerned, touching her forehead.
"I'll be fine, thanks. I just need a cold shower or a dip in the lake. You go back to sleep," she reassured and pushed herself sitting.
"You're not the only one with nightmares in this house. I think we need a couple of more sheets and a mattress," he confessed as he too had slashed his bed sheets. "There's ice-cream in the fridge just in case, you know, if Popsicle wants some," Logan suggested, knowing her new cravings for cold.
Emma hated the nickname he had given to her unborn baby. "Stop calling it Popsicle!"
"Sorry but if the baby comes out all blue then I'll name it Popsicle. Or Smurfpop," Logan smirked. "Or Gonzo."
Emma slapped him on the arm. "Stop it!"
When Logan left to downstairs, she sat a while on her bed and picked up a throwing knife from the bedside table's drawer. The weapon was plain but beautiful, made from cold, tough, shiny Asgardian steel. It once belonged to Loki and she kept it as a keepsake, as a reminder for those moments when she doubted had he even been real. What was the point of loving someone when you end up alone with a stupid dagger?
She felt sweat rising on her forehead and the faint kicks in her womb telling her to dump her doubts. She smiled fondly and touched her lower stomach again, placing the dagger back into the drawer. "Are you up for some ice cream, little buddy?" she asked while getting up. "Yeah, me too."
… …
Chocolate ice cream was simply the best comfort food there was. It was delicious and cold and granted her the much needed energy her tiny unborn baby was stealing from her. It was so good that she almost cried. This emotion thing was killing her.
Emma indulged herself with the ice cream while lazying on a couch in front of TV, channel-surfing. Not really watching anything special, she just tried to forget about her nightmare. Then with another click of the remote controller Loki's face appeared into the screen with his charming smile and she froze staring at him, the spoon dropping from her mouth on the floor. The clang of it woke up Logan who was drooping on a lazy-chair.
"… the rumors concerning his fate. In some conspiracy theories he was believed to become a victim of US or EU governments' witch hunt. His mostly green ideals were seen too radicalizing especially among young people by many political levels, thus some believed he was silenced before he got really started. However the number of his supporters has grown explosively in the past months as new forces have taken on the mantle of the benevolent and charming Norwegian magician, Loki Odinson, who's named after the ancient Viking's trickster god..." a female commentary voice kept going and Emma added more volume dumbfound, wishing she could have froze his image on the TV screen.
Logan rubbed his eyes as he glanced at the screen. "Oh, hell! Don't tell me the asshat is back."
"Shh!"
"Only nine years old Damien Grey from England carries on the green campaign called Loki's Challenge with his large group of friends from his school and all around the world as his Youtube videos of Loki of Asgard inspired children and young people to unite their forces for a fight for better tomorrow."
Emma's jaw dropped. "I know that kid."
She kept staring at the TV stunned as little Damien, the reticent boy she and Loki met in England, was speaking to the reporters with self-confident of a president, a big bunch of schoolboys and -girls behind him and a young adult man with black and green hair sticking up by his side. They all wore black suits and green ties and had a small golden tiepin imitating Loki's helmet on their ties.
"Damien has friends," Emma whispered greatly moved, her eyes brimming with tears. That little guy had changed so much that she hardly recognized him. He had even let his black hair grow and was looking like Loki even more now.
"Loki showed us that we must bring the governments to finally see what is happening to our planet. This is our world and we want that our grandchildren too can go ice-skating and building snowmen. Everyone has right to drink clean water in the future…" Damien declared.
Logan leaned forward in his seat. "Is that Loki's kid?"
Emma shook her head. "No. Damien is just a boy we met in England. Loki made a great impression on him, but I had no idea. What the hell...?"
A sudden cramp across her abdomen caught her off guard as she was getting up and she felt like her stomach would have turned rock hard, aching and cold like it would have froze, making her holding her breath and remaining on the couch. "Oh… woah!" she gasped, counting the painful seconds.
Logan jumped up from his chair. "You're okay? Is it… the baby... is it coming out now?"
She made it about 20 seconds when a wave of heat brought sweat on her forehead as the cramp was melting away and easing off. "It's okay." She grimaced, amused at Logan's jumpy reaction and tried to get up again, this time with success. The little guy was however kicking wildly. "Just a practice contraction, I guess. Perfectly normal. I have had them a few times before."
"Practice contractions? Why haven't you told me?"
"There's nothing to be worry about," Emma reassured as she went to the veranda door. She checked the TV to see that the topic in the show about Loki was over. "I need some fresh air. Cold would do me good."
"Well... Don't stay there too long."
She moved outside to the snowy veranda on barefoot and took a few deep breaths of the chilly air, the picture of Loki in the TV just now burned in her mind's eye. Earth surely knew who he was now. If only he would have known how much people liked him and his tricks on this planet. She could imagine his smug grin and she smiled a bit and closed her eyes.
"Please, protect this new life inside of you. I promise you will be safe. Wait for me."
His soft words returned to her as she kept contemplating her dream again and the two different Loki's she had seen in it, pondering which one of them would return to her when the time was right. She wasn't ready for either, because the effect Loki had on her was so profound. He had tamed her beast, owned her heart and set a bonfire of desire inside of her that was impossible to put down. He had simply become too much for her to handle. She wondered what he was doing at the moment, who was he being with. She wondered if he ever thought about her, their kisses, their intimacy and that strong connection they had shared even in her dream.
She groaned and crossed her fingers behind her head, stretching her core muscles. It was only a dream, she told to herself, her gaze resting on the dark snowy scenery ahead. He was only a dream.
As another cold cramp came, stronger than the first one, it made her bend in pain against the veranda railing. She had no idea was it the baby that was doing this to her or was her body rejecting the alien life inside of her and trying to get rid of it.
"It's okay…" she exhaled and stroked her belly, breathing the pain away. It was over soon. The coldness always worked like a charm, keeping her overheating body happier.
She knew pretty damn well that this wasn't normal but neither was her baby. She couldn't go to see a doctor and she sure hell couldn't talk with Logan about this, because he was too protective about her and if he had known he probably would have tried to cut the baby out of her. She just had to rely on the dream-Loki's promise that she'd be safe.
"We'll get through this, little guy. We'll adapt. Just hang in there," she whispered comfortingly.
She pulled the hem of her shirt up to see her visibly rounded belly that looked very pale. There had appeared a thin blue line from her belly button down to her pubic bone and it felt actually colder than the winter air under her fingers as she touched it. "Um... okay?"
So, she was adapting.