さようなら

The next day, the class woke up to find Estelle and the ghoul Pirate Pete missing. They all assumed that they had left early in search of the bridge, but it was disappointing. They liked the ghoul; he was loud and rambunctious and seemed to make Estelle somewhat happy. The fog surrounding Estelle seemed to have lifted slightly from the familiar presence.

The day carried on as usual without Estelle. It was Sunday, so there was still no classes to go to - so most of them had gathered in their own groups to study for various courses.

The nervousness spiked when Estelle didn't return for dinner. They had begun to like the fact that she would make sure to return and eat with them, even if she had avoided them for the whole day. They weren't sure why Estelle had started to, but they could guess that Bakugo had some part to play in that. So when she didn't arrive, most of the class began their worrying.

"Did she find the bridge and leave?"

"No way! She wouldn't do that! At least not without saying goodbye. Would she?"

"Would she?"

And on it continued. It had gotten to the point that the class were divided on if Estelle had actually left them or if she was just busy.

They relaxed later in the evening to the sound of the ghoul in the distance. The emotion switched to concern when they realised that he was arguing with Estelle. They're voicing in combat over something that could not be heard clearly. It was only when they saw Mr Aizawa rush past the exit to meet the duo outside that they followed. The words became more clearer when they reached the exterior.

"I can nah stay here! The sea needs me! Estelle, ye coud always end me life. I would reform in the spirit world 'n be back wit' the crew in no time!"

The class froze at his words for the second time as Estelle shook her head and snapped, "I'm not killing you, I told you before! That shit is torturous to go through. I'm not putting you through that! Got it?!"

The man sighed, patting her shoulder. "I also can nah stay here. This ship be scary, Estelle. We found naught. Thar's no other options."

Estelle turned to face him with a frown; her fingers twitched at the thought of temporarily putting him down. She only reserved that for dark spirits. Never for the ghouls. There was only one other option, and Estelle dreaded saying them aloud. It was silent for a few moments as the female mulled over her decision. The class stayed quiet, the atmosphere clearly showing that this was not the time to interfere.

Sighing to herself, the class realised that she had come to some form of conclusion, but she was reluctant to say the words. It was almost like she was struggling to accept what she was about to say. The ongoing battle continued on as her mouth opened and closed in an attempt to make them known. It was only when she slumped into some form of reluctant defeat that they knew this was not going to be easy.

Estelle knew that it was time. Her voice was much softer from the harshness of her words earlier. It was strange for the class to hear her so...solemn. "Hey, Pete. I've never asked you this before because it was never any of my business. But why haven't you passed on? What's holding you back?" She voiced with her eyes far away.

Understanding dawned on the spirit, and he gazed down at her sadly, a tilt to his lip. It was silent for a moment as he played with his telescope. Eventually, he responded. "Afore I died, I promised me beauty 'n daughter that I would make it back t' tell 'em I love 'em one more time. When we be fightin' an enemy ship. We be overwhelmed as our ship crashed. I ne'er got t' tell 'em that. I couldn't let meself leave without fulfillin' me promise."

It was noiseless for a while; the class surveyed the scene with some perplexity. Estelle's shoulders were still lowered as she mulled over his words. Estelle eventually strolled up to him, placed a hand on his shoulder and gazed at the pirate empathetically. The pain he could sense at that moment was felt deeply by the girl in front of him.

"You know, It's been a long time since then. You could probably tell them yourself on the other side. But I will promise you that, somehow, I'll tell them for you," Estelle rasped out forcefully.

"Ye would do that fer me?"

"Of course. We pirates fulfil our word, don't we?"

Before Estelle could continue speaking, she was encased into a suffocating hug. He grasped at her desperately as if it was the only way he could convey his gratitude. Estelle reciprocated with her entire being, a forlorn pain digging at her as she knew what was coming next.

"Ye know, the two sides suffered durin' the war. Ye we be our becon o' hope 'n ye still continue t' be. Ye be a wonderful pirate. 'twas a pleasure t' serve wit' ye. A true hero. Ye take care o' yourself now, start thinkin' o' yourself fer once."

Estelle's throat constricted at his words, and she could not respond verbally. The only thing she could do was grip onto his muddy gear tightly in a desperate attempt to keep him there. It was just another on the list of people she knew that would leave her behind. Her eyes stung but refused to falter as Pirate Pete slowly disintegrated within her arms.

The tiny golden flecks shimmered with the final picture of him before they swirled around her like a final parting. Estelle could only watch with a tight throat, downtrodden eyes and a melancholy smile as he passed onto the afterlife.

When he was utterly gone, Estelle bowed deeply to the spot he formerly stood at. The mute class behind her followed suit.

Estelle remained quiet in her bow; her hand moved in a swivel to create peace lilies all around her. It surrounded the whole area and bloomed in the moonlight. The class watched the sight with awe. She stood up straight after a few moments, and Estelle knew she had to give the man his eulogy. It was a common tradition within the pirates; she had seen him do it numerous times.

"Here rests pirate Pete. He ruled the spirit sea's wit' a crew at his back 'n a map that he knew from the aft o' his hand. Tales would be told o' pirate Pete 'n the lands he discovered 'n the battles he won from the slightest o' hand. Here lies pirate Pete. The kindest 'n most generous pirate that I ever had the loot o' meetin'. I will treasure the memories fer as long as I live. May ye afterlife be buried in treasure, Pirate Pete."

Estelle rotated to face the class behind her, who respectfully stayed quiet as Estelle briefly greaved for the ghoul she knew. She couldn't say a word to them, for the invisible hand wrapped around her throat only grew in its hold. Estelle would always be alone.

The class quietly wondered if this was what Estelle's life was like in the spirit world. To constantly let people go was a burden too heavy to carry. Everyone she would have known would already be dead when they met her. It would only be a matter of time before they would leave her. Clearly, Estelle still found death difficult even after all that time. But the class weren't dead, so why push them away? Wouldn't you cling to the people that were alive rather than the ones who were already dead?

They didn't say a word to her as Estelle silently made her way inside and headed to her room.

She didn't come out for the rest of the day.

It was late into the night, and Estelle couldn't sleep. It wasn't like she was grieving; the spirit had already been dead for years. But Estelle couldn't help but wonder if she did the right thing by letting him go.

She wondered how many ghouls and spirits she knew were gone. It was a regular occurrence to say goodbye, but Pirate Pete. Estelle believed he would always stick around since he continuously wanted to remain with his crew. Though Estelle knew it was a good thing, the rest of the pirates would soon follow. Someone else will take his place on the seas.

Looking back at their time together, Estelle held a lot of gratitude for the man. He had picked her up and travelled her across his boat without asking for a single favour. He rode out to help in the final battle with pitchforks raised and a pirate ship at his back. Estelle would miss his skewed words somewhat.

"Hey."

Estelle was startled as she looked up from the couch. Stopping her attack reaction, Estelle sighed in relief that it was just Bakugo. They hadn't spoken since their argument, so it was a surprise to see him in her presence once again. The atmosphere was filled with a tense awkwardness as the pair were clueless about the next step. Estelle eternally wished he would leave, now wasn't the time.

"The hell you doing up?" He gruffed out, ignoring her silent request.

"You know, it's funny you ask that when you're up yourself."

"Tch. I always warm up milk when I can't sleep. Do you want some?"

Estelle hesitated and remained quiet. Why was he offering her milk when she said things so cruelly to him? Looking into the blonde's eyes, Estelle felt a glimpse of the guilt she felt that night. Even though the words were truthful, she could have said it differently. In hopes of rectifying that, Estelle gingerly agreed and followed the pillow-haired male into the kitchen. She sat peacefully on the counter as Bakugo manoeuvred around the kitchen.

It was silent between the two as Bakugo warmed up their beverages. The air was thick as the pair marinated in the quiet. "Y'know, you've told us about the bad in your world. At least somewhat, but you've never talked about the good. Pirate Pete seemed like one of them."

Estelle's throat tautened again at his words. It hit her at that moment that he was right. Estelle hated everything about her world; to her very core, she hated it. But some of the beings she had met; had kept her going. Estelle doubted she would have ever made it this far without them in some way.

But people were temporary, so why should she call them good? Because they leave her when their time is up. Estelle preferred being by herself, but that doesn't mean she could accomplish everything independently. She didn't know the first thing about riding a boat on the sea. Pete did that; Estelle would have been stuck without him.

"Yeah. Pete was."

"What else was good?"

Estelle was taken aback by the question but answered. "There wasn't much, but there were good beings like Pete that I met along the way. They gave me a reason to keep fighting. Without them, the war was pointless - I doubt I would have cared that the world would have burned to ashes without me."

"Were there many?"

"No, just a few."

"Pirate Pete mentioned that you weren't travelling alone."

"Oh, you caught that? I had a child with me called Emelia."

"Was she good?"

"Yeah, she was," Estelle muttered back softly, her eyes distant. Bakugo could see that she was lost in her memories, but it wasn't how it usually was. When Estelle got stuck in her head, she would turn blank, practically unresponsive. This was a mixture of grief, softness and warmth. Bakugo felt like he could drown in that look; it was like a thousand words that could not be said. He could tell that whoever this Emelia person was so much more than just a good person. Estelle was a loner - the fact that she would travel with anyone just emphasised that their relationship was much more profound. But how, he didn't know. He could only guess it was more familial.

"What else?"

"Huh?"

"Was there anything else that was good?"

"Hm. Not really."

"That's shitty."

Estelle let out a chuckle from his response, a small smile tilting her lips as she shook her head at the male. The blonde smirked at the view before turning back to pour the drinks into the cups. Handing one over to Estelle, the pair stayed in place. Estelle sat on the counter, and Bakugo leaned against the wall to her side.

Bakugo slowly observed as the grief she refused to admit showered over her once again. He almost felt like he should leave her be to grieve in private. But he knew that Estelle would never deal with it the right way.

Stepping forward, Bakugo was nearly between Estelle's legs. His ruby eyes staring into hers caused her to freeze. "You know, you don't have to push your emotions away."

Estelle's grip tightened on the cup, her eyes staring into his own resolutely. Like she was determined to prove him wrong. The action irritated the blonde. This wasn't about pride, and to him, Estelle seemed too prideful to let out what she was genuinely feeling to him.

"I'm not- tch", Estelle grunted out as Bakugo let a light thump on her head and provided a frustrated growl.

"Yes, you are. Pete was good to you, was he not? Don't diminish your friendship over something as trivial as emotions."

Estelle bit her lip and twisted her head away. Her heart plummeted at her following words, but Estelle was stubborn. "He wasn't my friend."

"You and you're damn pride! Admit it! He was your friend if not your family! "

"Shut up," Estelle growled back, fire in her eyes as she attempted to use her free hand to push him away. It was a poor attempt at putting some distance between the pair. Bakugo was persistent himself and forced himself to keep his feet in place. His ruby eyes daggering into her soul as he voiced his following words softly but still stern.

"Estelle. Admit it," He verbalised as he closed the space between the two of them. The silence rang out for a few moments as Estelle attempted to close the pandora's box that was her feelings. Emotions were weak, crying was inefficient. Estelle couldn't cry. She felt as if the blonde was looking into her soul at that moment. Her muscles were tense as if preparing her to run in the opposite direction.

Bakugo seemed to have heard her unspoken thoughts, his arms barricading her from leaving her seat on the counter. His eyes were fierce in an attempt to break down the last few walls sitting in place.

Estelle's bottom lip shook, her voice shaking slightly as she forced out her following words. "Okay, he was good to me. He was a friend. Will you shut up now?"

"No."

"Crying is weak. Shut up." Estelle vocalised, a merge attempt at reminding herself to pull herself together.

"No. When you overheard the conversation with Deku and me. You heard me cry. Did you think that made me weak, huh!?"

"No, but it's weak if I do it."

"Hypocrite."

The silence was deafening. The longer it progressed, the more Estelle's shell seemed to crack. He watched as she struggled to keep it together, her self-imposed idea that emotion was weak pulling back every faucet of her grief.

He figured it was the fact he was watching her that made her force her emotions in check. Leaving his thoughts behind for a moment, Heat rushed through him as he lunged into a hug, holding her tightly. His thoughts finally entered his brain when he realised there was no movement from her; second-guessing his beliefs, Bakugo moved to leave her arms.

But then she started to lightly shake.

Holding onto her tightly once again, Bakugo moved his arms down to grip her clenched hands. His assumption was correct when he felt the slick feeling of blood on her fingertips.

Her trembling increased when Bakugo stopped the self-inflicting action. He knew she was shedding silent tears, but he was relieved it was something. It didn't have to be overdramatic, but she did need to release it before it killed her inside. Before Pirate Pete showed up, Estelle was in a rocky place, and Bakugo couldn't figure out why. He had no idea how to help when he didn't know the cause, but this? He knew exactly what the problem was.

His thoughts froze when Estelle's arms lifted to reciprocate the hug, his shoulder turning damp with tears. He could only guess how much she held back - Estelle was overly firm, stubborn and too fucking nice for her own good. It was just hidden under the walls she pulled up to push people away.

Bakugo would rip them to shreds if he had anything to say about it. Enough was enough; Estelle couldn't live without at least one person in her corner. When they had the argument a few days ago, Bakugo wallowed in some weird fucking ways. He wasn't sure why her words had hit him so profoundly, but when he heard them - he decided he wanted no part in her life.

He was so frustrated and wounded by her, the cold and dismissive words would ring out to him when he saw her after that. After seeing pirate Pete explain Estelle further, he discovered that this was what Estelle did. She would strike at the core to push those showing any inkling of closeness to her. As soon as he recognised that she had accomplished keeping her misguided security in place, he was vexed at himself for being so affected by them.

Her words didn't match her actions the day they went to see the animals. The fact she had tried so hard to push him away just showed him that he was making progress; why else would she feel the need to shut it down so quickly? because her misguided safety was threatened.

Seeing the pain that Estelle experienced when her so-called non-friend passed on showed that Estelle felt more deeply than she ever allowed herself to portray, and he knew. He knew that he couldn't keep being angry with her, not if her life was filled with death like that. It aggravated him to see that she cared for the ghoul but refused to show it.

The twinge in his soul was odd, but he forgot about it in the face of Estelle actually letting go. It wasn't long after that she calmed, pulling back everything into its place like a puzzle.

Moving his face back to gaze into her eyes, Bakugo bored his eyes into hers. "It wasn't weak. You've been through shit, understand? It's a normal fucking response."

Estelle only nodded, her throat still too tight to articulate a word.

"Now come on, we're watching some David Attenborough."

Laying on the couch, Bakugo felt the need to give one last comment.

"What you said yesterday, to half and half. You're wrong, you know. You're a fucking good person. I don't wanna hear that shit again."

"Tch."

"Brat."

"I know."

The clock ticked away in the background as Bakugo lifted up the remote to turn off the television. Trailing his eyes downward to the slumbering female in his lap, his heart tightened at the peaceful expression on her face.

He wished she was always like that.

Tangling his fingers into her hair once again, Ruby eyes watched her thoughtfully as the male bearing them tried to sort out his own conflicted thoughts.

Coming to some sort of resolution, he lowered his head to whisper into the sleeping female's ears. A resolute and determined heart hardened when he realised that she deserved to feel that way all of the time.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily, Lioness."