A Frightening Situation

Estelle was surprised when she woke up one morning to sirens blaring. Jumping out of bed, Estelle rushed downstairs and out the door. Holding the spirit monitor in her hands and her saya strapped to her back. Still wearing her pyjamas, Estelle didn't have to travel far as the spirits were already outside.

There stood three massive trolls, and Estelle guessed that Nyx had teleported them to the gate considering the alarm didn't ring earlier. Letting out a gasp, Estelle baulked at the fact the creatures were heading straight for the entrance rather than her. Furious, Estelle raised earth walls around Height's Alliance to keep the teens inside. She could feel the thundering footsteps heading her way, and she was prepared to make no mistakes.

Taking her katana out of the saya, Estelle flung the device to the side as she dove into battle. Sharing a back and forth, Estelle was finding it hard to get a hit in as there was no break between each manoeuvre the trolls made. If one stopped swinging, the other would jump in, leaving Estelle to become acrobatic for a few minutes. Flinging ice out to hold the other two down for a while, Estelle made quick work of the troll that was free.

Sighing in relief, Estelle's moment of reprieve was over when she heard a loud crash behind her. Broadening her eyes, Estelle quickly turned to see her classmates breaking through the wall she had raised.

"Get back!" She yelled, panic lying in her tone once she realised a troll had just broken free and headed straight for them. Why were they suddenly caring about humans?! Feeling a cold grimness in her bones, she realised that Nyx must have commanded them to do so as they would not have cared about them otherwise.

Coming back to reality, Estelle felt a ringing in her ears as the troll ambled closer to the students standing defensively by the broken wall. Her mind almost dimmed to a halt when they didn't do anything, they didn't run away, they did nothing. Frozen in disbelief, the students stared wide-eyed as the gap between the creature and their bodies grew ever closer.

Her head ached, the ringing in her ears blaring like a microphone. Blinking, Estelle could have dropped to the ground at the sight of Kiko's body replacing them. Spirits fading, crying out for her. Emelia, Keres, and the rest of the dead Cambions.

'No, no, no, no. Not again.' Estelle chanted as she tried to move her muscles. The gap was tiny at this point, the disgusting being reaching out to them with a loud groan.

Like her brain was warning her what was about to happen, the hand reaching out to dead bodies was suddenly replaced by the petrified kids staring open-mouthed in fright. Suddenly, it was like she jolted back to the solid present, and her body moved before she could think.

None of these students would die, and Estelle would be damned to sit by and watch it like a scared child. They were pure, so good, so kind. They didn't deserve any of it. They sat with her as she mourned the child she loved; they gave her their patience when she did nothing to earn it.

She would not repay that kindness with death.

'Over my dead fucking body, will anyone ever touch them.'

The students quickly shut their eyes as if preparing themselves for the afterlife. The action only helped grow the absolute fucking frenzy in her heart, but this disgusting thing would die. Right now.

Inches away from Kaminiari's head, Estelle blocked the hand with an overwhelming amount of air. Her voice was ice-cold as she held the beast back, its hand squirming as if it were stuck in a block of air. "None of you will ever touch them!"

She held one hand up to keep the troll's hand stuck and picked up the katana that she dropped in the moment of holding it back. A quick twang rang out into the air, and it took a few moments for the class to register that Estelle had shredded off its limb. As the creature yowled and lamented, holding its sliced stalk in pain, Estelle whirled around, her eyes showing how chaotic her mind was. "Get. The. Fuck. Inside. Now!" She snarled, her voice still frozen like the artic. She never gave them a chance to respond as she shot out a massive spike of earth that pierced directly through the wailing troll's stomach.

Thundering footsteps made Estelle sigh in another breath of alleviation, and she turned back to the last troll. Raising another piece of earth to block the entrance, Estelle focused on the last creature with a glare. Her heart was still tense from the close call, and the cold slithering in her bones was everywhere. That was too much for her soul to endure, and all she could do was thank the gods she stopped it in time.

Dealing with the final spirit, Estelle lowered the earth before heading inside Height's Alliance quickly. The students, who were also still in their nightclothes, held worried looks on their faces as Estelle stepped through the door.

It was deathly quiet as the door clicked shut behind her. Her body was slouched as her hand rested on the doorknob, and they could see the white of her knuckles as she clenched onto the metal for dear life. Her head was dropped so they couldn't see the expression on her face, but they flickered their eyes to each other in shame and concern. They knew they did wrong.

"Estelle..." Izuku mumbled, apologetic and nervous.

"You...Idiots!" Estelle snapped, whirling around to face the students with a fierce glare that made them all wince. "You could have died! If I was a second later, you would all be dead!"

Her eyes were expansive, frantic as she quickly moved her gaze to each pair of eyes. Meeting her stares, they swiftly lowered their heads from her words. It was true; they could have easily lost their lives tonight. They weren't heroes at that moment; they were powerless.

The near-hysterical tone of her voice only made them wince. It was like she didn't know how to react, her emotions all over the place as her body trembled. Taking a deep breath, her other hand holding her katana was tight, solid in her grasp as if it were a clutch tethering her to her sanity.

Her body trembled. She didn't know how to feel. She was infuriated that they had overstepped their rules, enraged that they could have died tonight. She was irate at herself for not jumping in sooner. She was terrified she would see more dead bodies, frightened that she would be forced to live in a cycle of death. Fucking horrified at how the whole situation made her feel, the panic, the sheer horror her full mind experienced.

"You almost made me watch you die!" Estelle barked, her eyes still muddled as she shuddered.

"Estelle..."

"Haven't they taken enough lives!? Fuck, those disgusting creatures have taken enough innocent people. I refuse to stand by and watch that happen again, which means you need to be on guard! You need to understand that this is not your jurisdiction!"

"Estelle..."

"Shut up! I'm talking!" Estelle snarled back, watching as the students lowered their eyes to the floor again with remorseful expressions. They had been selfish; they wanted to be by her side. To help! But all they did was make things worse for her. The poor girl was struggling because of them.

Letting out a shaky sigh and taking multiple heavy breaths, Estelle forced her voice to settle. Though she could do nothing about her shivering body and terror-filled mind, she needed to get these words out.

"I understand you want to help. But, you cannot help me here. I raised up the wall to protect you. That doesn't mean you break it down. It's my job to protect you all from spirits. These spirits are controlled by Nyx, which means they will be gunning for you. You understand!? When faced with one, you follow my instructions directly or indirectly, got it, Cadets?!"

"Yes, captain. We're sorry."

Panting for air, Estelle muttered meekly, "Just listen to me next time, okay? Please, because we may never be that lucky again."

Knowing what she had been referring to, their hearts clenched at the evident despair covering her face. She was trying to hold back, but the longer she stood in front of them, the more they could see her break.

Nodding, the class mumbled their agreement as Estelle hunched over slightly. Raising a finger to stop Bakugo from lurching towards her, she forced her body to stand up straight. "Dismissed."

Knowing that meant they could leave, the students eye each other warily as their feet stayed rooted on the ground. The uncomfortable feeling grew in their chest as they stared at her, regret clawing their insides from the knowledge of what she nearly experienced once again.

Feeling very fibre of her being tense, Estelle gritted her teeth when the wall around her continued to tumble. She needed them to leave to get her mind and body to unwind. All they were doing was staring at her like an injured animal.

"Leave," Estelle stated cooly, her voice cracking slightly in the middle, betraying the heavy poundage on her soul.

Kirishima held a determined expression as he stated a simple, "No."

"Why the hell not?!" Estelle splintered. The tethers in her head were on the verge of fracturing like pieces of string.

"It's our fault for doing this to you. You shouldn't have to suffer because of what we did."

"I'm fine. I just need a second alone."

"Don't lie to us," Iida added gently.

"What do you want me to say!?" Estelle commenced; her final strand slivered at their prodding. "That instead of seeing you guys in front of the tolls, I saw the bodies of my dead friends? The fading of my comrades?! Kiko?! What is it?!"

Heaving for breath, her hand clutching her head in pain. Estelle whimpered at the lightning strike that zipped through her entire being. Memories of warfare, death, and misery flashed before her eyes as her tongue tasted the coppery twang of blood. Tangling her fingers into her hair, Estelle yanked forcefully as she tried to her mind to stop ruining everything. Her harsh tug's brief reprieve made her pull even harder.

"Charge! Fight for your freedom!"

Estelle stared at the light spirits; the flecks of white shimmered off their bodies as they floated into the air. Feeling a pang in her chest, she knew she had just sent that group to die. Seering her soul together, she stood up straight, expressionless as she turned back to her group.

"We must go now. They have given us time to strike."

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" Estelle cried as she rushed through the trees. Tripping on dead bark, Estelle flopped to the ground as her head shot up to stare at the scene. Another Cambion laid dead, barely anything left of his body as the creatures moaned in pleasure.

Crying out in dismay, Estelle's entire being lit up in flames as her body shot forward with a scream.

Estelle was surprised when she was suddenly surrounded by warmth. Halting her movement, she winced at the memory of Kiko's death once again before the comforting feeling grew. Estelle felt like she was in a bubble yet still trapped in her head. Focusing on the sensation as she willed her eyes shut to the scenes playing in front of her, Estelle realised someone was murmuring into her ear.

'Come back to us, my little Lioness. Come back to me.'

'We're safe; we're okay.' Another voice joined in.

Focusing on the bubble and the voice, the memories surrounding her seemed to slow. It was like an out of body experience. It was as if she was experiencing these things second-hand rather than in her own body.

The light stroking on her head finally seemed to bring her back to the forefront. It wasn't quick but like a slow return to her own body. The room around her seemed a little fuzzy, but when she focused on the bubble, she realised it wasn't a bubble.

Class 1A crowded around her, touching some part of her as if they were bringing her back. Izuku, Tsu, and Koda's hands seemed to be on her arm. Kirishima, Sero, Jiro and Shoto were holding various parts of her right leg. The rest of them touched multiple aspects of her back, legs, shoulder and arms. The whole class was huddled around her in a comforting embrace.

Blinking rapidly, her focus was still coming back; Estelle gazed up to Bakugo, who had his hand in her hair, his head leaning against her neck like he was in prayer. Her mouth was dry, and she tried to lick her lips to bring back some moisture to speak, but she could only let out a quick mumble.

"Stop pushing yourself! Give yourself time; we aren't going anywhere."

Focusing on her breathing and the warmth around her. Estelle pushed the feeling of embarrassment away as she allowed herself a moment to calm down. Finally, feeling like her vision was clearing, and she was somewhat back in her head. Estelle lowered her stare to her knees with a frown. "Are you all okay?" She managed to croak out, making them all dial back with dropped jaws.

Izuku was the one to speak up, his body leaning closer as he smiled at her in understanding. "Yeah, we're all okay. None of us got hurt thanks to you."

Nodding vigorously as if trying to remind herself of that, she softly asked, "Nobody's dead?"

The vulnerable tone in her voice made them all hunch over slightly, hands gripping onto her tighter as they felt the crushing weight of the horror she had suffered through. The stuff she went through wasn't fair, a cruel reality. Even though she was no longer there, it followed her in what seemed like every moment of every day. They knew it would most likely follow her for the rest of her life, and the thought pained them. Why was the one who did so much for her world in a constant state of suffering? She deserved so much more than the life she was given.

Her eyes were still unsure, flickering over to everyone as she tried to detach herself from her episode. The uneasiness within her expression was all too clear; no walls to hide behind as she was forced to reconcile with the memories she tried so hard to forget.

"Yes, nobody is dead, Lioness. We're all alive. We're all okay."

Still not assured, Estelle leaned forward to scan everyone huddled around her. They could see the mental tally in her head, and when she counted twenty, her body finally unwound into them with a sigh of solace. Softening their own selves at the scene, their hearts warmed at the fact she cared enough to check.

They would have never guessed that seeing them nearly die would cause some reaction. Maybe it was because Estelle portrayed herself as cold and unfeeling towards them whenever she could.

This just proved how much she hid from them - from herself. When her episode started, they had assumed it was just because of the deja vu she must have experienced from her memories. But, her words clearly showed that wasn't the case, at least, not entirely.

She cared for them in her own way.

It was noiseless between them all as the class held onto her, their hands supporting her more than they knew as they tethered her to reality. It was like a temporary replacement from the snapped stands in her head, and the exhaustion was finally rearing its head.

"You shouldn't have had to see that. I'm sorry," Estelle murmured, breaking the silence with a softer tone.

"Stop blaming yourself. We were the ones who triggered you, and we are so sorry for that," Momo whispered, discomfort and horror in her voice.

Hoping to lighten the situation, Estelle muttered, "Hey, I'm a big girl. I can handle it."

"Doesn't mean you should," Bakugo shot back, jumping in after being silent for so long.

Sighing, Estelle shook her head, her voice still tinged with exposure. "It was a dumb mistake. Don't blame yourself for it, especially for my own stupid head. You couldn't have predicted it."

"The hell you speaking like that for?!" Bakugo barked in aggravation, making the class jump in their place. "I think it's a valid fucking response to what you just saw. Don't minimise your own trauma for some convoluted reason! You had every right to react the way you did!"

Estelle wasn't so sure but nodded anyway. She couldn't see how she had the right to experience that, especially since she was living and others were dead. Didn't she deserve it? For being the one to survive? To send others to their death? Isn't this penance for the atrocities she had committed during the war?

"That's just fuckin stupid."

"Huh?" Estelle questioned, dialling back to stare at Bakugo in perplexity.

"You said that out loud, Estelle," Tokoyami added, his voice holding a stern tone to it. "I think we can all agree that your world isn't as black and white as ours. It's filled with shades of grey, and you had to do what you could to help the masses. It's not your fault."

Feeling like she was strapped to a boulder and thrown out to sea to sink, Estelle sucked air through her teeth as she gritted them with intensity. She couldn't swim, and they couldn't understand. They didn't know that she earned that boulder; she deserved to sink for everything she did.

"I sent spirits to their deaths," Estelle blurted, her eyes low as the class collectively sucked in air from the sudden shift. "I sometimes had to choose the lesser of two evils. Send a troop in to die for the sole purpose of beating Aite and saving everyone else."

Silence.

"I had ghouls, and light spirits volunteer their souls to the cause, only for me to turn around and tell them to die for me because it was the only way."

Silence.

"When I wasn't covering my own back, one of them would stand by me, always seeming to take the killing blow. I watched as they writhed in pain, begging for me to end it so they could reform when the war was over."

Silence.

"I saw spirit children beg me for their parents back, only for me to turn around and tell them they left for a just cause. How could a kid possibly understand that?"

Mouths opened to disagree, but Estelle ignored them to finish her points.

"I returned to the human realm only to be thrown into the military. I watched as humans shot each other for power. I watched as limbs got ripped apart. I was forced to fight for them and kill other humans simply because they disagreed with the government. I was a slave, whether to a prophecy, a title, the government or power.

I have no right to not suffer, for I am living, and they are all dead."

Snarling, Bakugo whirled his head to her with blazing eyes. Fierce defiance was evident as his chest trembled in disagreement. Forcing out the words through his gritted teeth, he questioned, "What about all the good you've done, Hah?!"

"W-what?"

"Spirits don't die, Estelle. You know that, yet you speak as if they are gone for good. Sure it must have been painful, but it's nothing compared to being a general in a fucking war!

Let's not forget that it was a war against a crazy dragon madman! Which you won! And saved the whole world! Are you seriously not getting it?! Yeah, you've had to do some messed up stuff, but compared to the millions of lives you protected, wouldn't you consider that a fair trade!

You'll never get it right! Lives will always be lost! Even in hero work, we know that! Let's not forget about the humans who forced you to work for them! It's not like you chose to be in the army!

You have sacrificed everything for them! And you still continue to do it! Fuck them; you deserve peace too!"

Thunderstruck. Estelle was dumfounded.

"He's right," Tokoyami muttered softly, the students around her nodding in agreement as their initial astonishment wore off.

Her breath caught in her throat at their simple acceptance of her words. She had expected them to turn away from her, disgusted by the actions she committed. To watch as she sunk further into the sea with nodding approval. Instead, here they were, telling her she was still good.

Feeling a lonely tear leave her eye socket, Estelle could only nod once again. But this time, she could feel his words in her bones, like catching her in free fall. Her heart wrapped around them, holding them close as if desperately trying to sink them into her brain.

He was right. Even though Estelle did horrible things, it didn't mean she was just as bad. She hoped so, at least. All she could do was try to make up for it.

"It's been...a lot. Maybe we should let her get some rest?" Ochako murmured worriedly after Estelle turned silent.

Clutching onto two separate hands, Estelle tightened her grip on them in answer. 'Not yet'

"Okay, do you want to go to the living room? I'm sure it's not comfortable on the floor."

Startled with a blush, she realised Kaminari was right. Nodding in agreement, she followed the class into the room. They remained huddled around her as if fearing moving away would break her. She would have been bugged by it any other time, but they nearly died. So she wasn't letting them out of her sight just yet.

Making a pillow fort, the class huddled together as they put Madagascar on. They pointedly ignored Estelle's eyes that would occasionally drift to them all, almost like she was doing another headcount - but multiple times.

Putting it down to the tough day she has had. They let her be, her body snuggled into Bakugo as the class huddled around her like a makeshift bubble.

The tension in her soul finally began to ease, just a little. Estelle's eyes began to close, two final words ringing out in her head before she fell asleep. 'Thank you.'

"You're welcome."