Triggers

Estelle sat in her puddle of sweat with slick trousers, her arms and legs streaked with dirt. She had been training all day, wanting to focus on her spirit bending a little more. She didn't want to risk siphoning off the energies and finding out she couldn't hold enough power to defeat Nyx.

She didn't go to the gym; she stayed in the woods camp to work off the spirits. The base was flourishing, with new workshops being created and spirits assigned different jobs. They were working in harmony with one another, and Estelle was surprised at how much work they were doing on this piece of land they had found. It was a pleasant sight and reminded her of what she tried hard to fight for.

Attacks had been infrequent, and Estelle had used as much free time given to her advantage. Calling those around her, she created squads for her lieutenants to lead whilst building their strength. Most of them have been scouting different locations for more light spirits tumbling through the gate whilst the others looked for the enemy bases that were beginning to pop up all around Japan. She knew more light spirits were locked away within their confines, and she had managed to free a couple but not as many as she hoped.

Now that she knew Nyx was garnering his flocks, it was her next goal. Just as she knew he was building an army, Estelle knew she would have to develop her own. As much as she hated throwing these beings into another war, it was the only way.

When they had been drained of everything they could give her for the next couple of days, Estelle thanked them profusely for their agreement. She then departed for heights Alliance, where she figured she could take a small break before heading right back out to train more on her own.

Strolling through the doors, Estelle's shoulders relaxed at the usual scene of the students in the living room. Talking within their groups, Estelle tilted up the side of her lip as laughter rang out in the room. The female shuffled past quickly, hoping to avoid them a little since she stank like dirty socks.

"Your back!" Kirishima spoke, a broad grin on his lips as he stood up.

Turning around with a wince, she let out an awkward smile as she responded, "Uh, yeah. I'll be heading back out in a few."

"Then you should eat some lunch!" Hagakure shouted.

"I'll eat when I'm done for the day."

"Don't be a brat! Get cleaned up, and I'll whip something up for you." Bakugo interrupted, his eyes scolding her as he folded his arms and tapped his foot against the floor.

Sighing, Estelle knew if she showered, she would not likely go back to training, mainly because showers are so damn long that she hated doing them twice a day. Scanning his face, which held no room for argument. Estelle pouted slightly, "But I'm gonna go back out for training. What's the point?"

"Just do it!"

"Hmpt," Estelle voiced, strutting her way upstairs without further argument.

"Woah, I'm surprised you got her to agree to that," Jiro spoke to the blonde.

"The hell are you talking about?"

"She listened to you. Normally she would get closed off and then leave."

Bakugo realised she was right, and he couldn't help the slight grin at the fact that Estelle was warming to them more. To him. Ignoring the knowing looks as they watched him grin to himself, Bakugo stomped to the kitchen to whip up some food. Leaving it on the living room table for when she returned, Bakugo didn't have to wait long before she was in her pyjamas. He gruffed, snorting, "Thought you were going back outside?"

Estelle shrugged as she sat next to him, flopping onto the couch and beginning to eat her food; she grumbled. "No point since I've showered. I'll work on it again later."

Bakugo opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Kaminari, who was half-listening to the conversation behind him. Turning around with a cheeky grin, the lightning-quirked male raised his hands as he exclaimed, "Someone is feeling lazy!"

Estelle felt a cold wash gush over her soul whilst she raised the spoon to her mouth. Freezing before the metal could reach her lips, Estelle remained silent as she computed his words. The sudden silence caught the class off guard as they turned to face her, and their brows drooped in concern when they noticed the ghostly look on her face.

"Hey...you okay?" Kaminari voiced with worry, his cheerful tone dropping from her reaction.

Estelle gave no response, frozen mid-bite as her eyes glazed over. The concerned class shifted to each other in question, all wondering what caused such a change within the otherworldly female. When her spoon dropped from her fingers, hitting the bowl with a loud clang, they winced and turned back to her. Still stiff as a block of wood, Estelle slowly placed her hands on her knees, her body hunched over as if she bowled in pain.

"Estelle!" Tsu, Izuku and Ochako yelled, concerned she was actually in distress.

Footsteps pattered around the room as bodies rushed towards the female. The momentum was suddenly halted by Bakugo, who stood in front of Estelle protectively, his hands raised to push them all back. His head was lowered to the ground so they couldn't see the expression on his face, but the previous confusion only seemed to grow as Estelle let out a low whimper. The shadow of Bakugo's hair rested over his eyes, but they could see his lips purse from the sound. Widening their eyes from the duo in front of them, a few pushed back at his hands, eyes wide as they tried to reach the pained girl.

"W-why are you stopping us!? She needs help!" Izuku cried, his head peering over the shoulder of the blonde to gaze at the hunched female.

"Because she isn't here!" Bakugo started with a snarl, causing the class to wince and step back.

"What?" Iida questioned with bewilderment.

"Her eyes aren't focused, and she clearly can't hear us. She's having an episode, you idiots! I thought you guys did your research on PTSD!" He barked out furiously, practically spitting out the words as he finally looked up to stare at them. His clenched jaw clearly showed how frustrated he was with them all, and the class could only step back in guilt at how they had gotten things so wrong.

Horror soon dawned on their face as they whirled back to the female. They wouldn't have guessed, considering that Estelle's episodes had been loud, brash, and noticeable. This time, she was still, silent and somehow small somehow. It seemed a little different, and they wondered what set it off.

Bakugo was the one to turn around and kneel on the couch by her knees, so his eyes would be the first thing she saw. Raising his hand to place on her knee to help ground her, Bakugo was surprised when she flinched back. Noises of shock smothered the room from the reaction that resembled that of a frightened child. It was only when she spoke that the ice settled in their bones.

"Please, boss, I already apologised. May I get back to my training?" Estelle muttered, her eyes peeking over the blonde's shoulder as if someone was directly behind him.

Sucking in collective air, it suddenly made sense why her demeanour was different.

Raising his hand in surrender, he noted that it was the second time she had done that. Feeling an ache in his gut from the action, he pushed the pain aside to continue helping her. It wasn't the time now, and she wasn't thinking straight; he would never blame that on her.

Wincing as if she had been struck across the face, Estelle rocked back and forth slightly as she muttered. "Laziness isn't tolerated, I know. I said I was sorry."

The class stood frozen, wide-eyed, as she whispered her apology. Estelle paused, her head tilted as if she was listening to the response before her head whirled back like someone had socked her across the face. Breathes halted from the sight, jaws locked as she slowly moved back into position as if nothing had happened. She was quiet, still listening to a voice that was not there. Their heart dropped to their feet, and various faces of horror dawned on them once they realised what was happening.

She was experiencing it in real-time.

"No..." Kaminari whispered, guilt clawing at his face as he raised his hand apologetically. His shoulders were low, an ache in his gut as he realised what he had inadvertently caused. Fingers dug into his thighs, and Kirishima was the one to snap him out of it by putting his hand on his shoulder, a kind smile on his face to assure him that it wasn't his fault.

"Can you guys give us some time? I don't think she'll appreciate being goggled at for this, especially since she doesn't want to be touched." Bakugo added sternly, his demeanour tense as he kept his eyes on her. He refused to look back at them as they internally debated with themselves; he couldn't, his eyes failing to stray from the traumatised girl in front of him. He knew it was dumb, but he feared it would worsen by looking away.

Wanting to argue, the students bit their tongues and nodded. It was apparent with how Bakugo responded that he was hyper-aware of Estelle's suffering with PTSD, and they couldn't help but wonder how that came to be. How did he know the signs to such an extent that he could immediately jump into action?

He knew she was suffering before anybody else and seemed to be in tune with her needs. It was almost like synchronised thinking between them, and they wished they could join in too. They knew it was selfish of them to think that, and they were glad at least one of them could get past the many barriers Estelle held up. So giving a reluctant nod, the class departed from the duo.

"Hey, pretty girl. It's me, Katsuki. I'm your friend, and we are both at Height Alliance. You're alone with me, and you're safe. That old man is nowhere near you, so come back to me."

Letting out a choked gasp, Estelle shook in her place as she remained still and low. It was like a scared animal prepared for an onslaught from a predator, and Bakugo could almost immediately tell what kind of memory she was stuck into.

He despised the fact she was reliving that.

"Laziness is not tolerated."

Scoffing, Bakugo scowled as he scooched closer to ensure he was speaking firmly. "Ignore him; listen to me. You aren't there anymore, and you can be as lazy as you damn well please. Can you ignore him and wiggle your fingers for me, please?"

It was silent for a few beats, the tension rising in Bakugo's heart as he waited. Relaxing his shoulders as she followed his words, he nodded to himself before opening his mouth once again. "Good girl, I'm going to hold your hand now. Can you tell me how it feels?"

Thankfully, her hand didn't move as Bakugo slowly wrapped his fingers around hers. It was mute once again before she rasped. "Warm."

"That'a girl. What about this?" He murmured, leaning his forehead against hers, eyes boring into her face as he waited for her answer.

"Comforting."

"This?" He asked, deciding to push it further and pull her into his embrace. He inwardly curved at his beating heartbeat but thankfully relaxed when he heard her tired voice chime into his ear.

"Safe."

"Yeah, sweetcheeks. You're safe," Bakugo breathed out, a small smile on his face as he soaked in the warmth her words had brought to his heart.

Holding her tighter, Bakugo felt the urge to scoop her onto his shoulder and hide her from the world. The fierce need driving through him to protect made his toes curl, and he gritted his teeth at how helpless he felt.

He would use his own body to shield her from everything if he could. He hated, no, despised that she continued to suffer. It made his blood boil because she didn't deserve any of it. Lifting his hand to stroke the back of her head lightly (or as lightly as Bakugo could manage), they stayed in that position for a long time, just together within the embrace.

Estelle revelled in it. Bakigo's irregular movements had felt like they had gotten much lighter, but she knew they hadn't. She knew it was only because she was used to it, but she would never admit it.

It was only when they heard a knock on the door by the students that they broke apart. Blushing cheeks as they avoided each other's gaze, they shifted back and forth as Kirishima peeked his head through the door. The worried eyes slackened once they scanned over the duo, and a broad grin of relief landed on his face. It didn't take long for them to continue flickering back and forth, a knowing look in his eyes as the two willed their faces to calm down.

"She's okay, guys!" He chimed out, opening the door wider so the students down the hall could come forward.

Estelle's heart warmed at the fact they distanced themselves from the door, clearly taking her words to heart from the eavesdropping incident. It was strange for Estelle to look back at it; it felt like aeons ago. Even though it had only been a couple of months, they had done everything they could to make her feel comfortable.

Allowing the slight smile of appreciation to slip through as the students ambled back into the room. The students lightly chatted to themselves as they walked in. Her shoulders loosed at their demeanour. It was different. Usually, they would be in her face, demanding answers due to their curiosity. Instead, it was like they had become accustomed to Estelle's rule.

'I will tell you myself if I want you to know.'

Her heart clenched, her eyes softening as they ended their conversations to turn to her. She didn't deserve them; their daily kindness was heart-warming yet heart-breaking because it constantly reminded her how temporary it was. The people of her world didn't even show her a quarter of the heart they gave her. As the days went by, it became increasingly evident how much they seemed to care for her.

"Are you feeling better now?" Tokoyami muttered, his eyes betraying the anxiousness he had for her.

Nodding discreetly, Estelle gave another smile before responding. "Yes, apologies for that. It came onto me before I could stop it."

"No, I'm sorry," Kaminari muttered, his eyes downward as he avoided looking at Estelle. She quickly scanned him, concern in her eyes as she opened her mouth to speak. Unfortunately, she failed miserably as he jolted his head to finally look at her.

Estelle's breath caught in her throat when she noticed the gloss over his eyes. Twisting his fingers into his shirt, he frantically shook his head as he spoke. "I am so sorry! I should never have said anything. I caused that! I'm so sorry!"

Widening her eyes in disbelief, Estelle was taken aback as he continued to ramble with guilt. "If you don't want to talk to me again, I completely understand! It wasn't my intention to cause you distress! Honest!"

The words he continued to hurl out quickly fell onto deaf ears as her feat lurched her body forward. The thrumming jump of her heart leapt out of her chest as the guilt she witnessed landed in her throat. She wrapped her arms around Kaminari to pull him into her embrace. Estelle swiftly yanked his head into her chest. The frantic words halted the action, and his cold fingers dug into her back as he clutched her; it was like a child being soothed by their mother.

The action only furthered the guilt in Kaminari's soul. He had just caused her to experience something awful, and in response, she was consoling him when it should have been the other way round. The thought only furthered the wetness in his eyes as the tears dropped onto Estelle's shirt. The tremors wreaking through his body vibrated into her, and it only further the ache in her chest at the damage she had caused to the kind boy.

Rubbing his head lightly, Estelle spoke firmly into his ear. "You have nothing to apologise for! Do you understand, Kaminari? You aren't a mind reader, and you shouldn't have to feel any guilt for something you did not know. There will be things that trigger me; it would be impossible to avoid them all. That's on me to work through, not you, who must walk on eggshells to avoid something. If it happens, it happens. It will happen again, and it will be nobody's fault. Got that?"

The room was silent as the blonde sniffled into her. The tremors through Kaminari's body were beginning to calm, but Estelle kept him within her embrace to ensure he knew she felt no animosity towards him.

Tokoyami spoke again, his voice softer as he watched the duo. "You have every right to not answer the question. But, would you be able to tell us some of your triggers? Just so we know what to avoid? If possible, I would like to dodge this happening frequently."

Estelle's immediate reaction was to reject the notion entirely, snap and leave the room. The second thought was the opposite, the memory of their actions during her episode ringing in her mind.

They were so attentive to her and her requests. It would be a slap in the face to turn on them now. They didn't deserve it, and Estelle understood why they were asking. Sighing, Estelle shook her head. "As long as you don't blame yourself if it happens. I don't want you walking on eggshells; as I said, I would hate for you all to worry about triggering me all the time."

"I think it'll be the opposite. It'll ease our minds to know what we cannot do," Momo argued softly. The students around the room nodded in agreement to the teen's words, and Estelle could only slump at the expressions on their faces. Obviously, they only asked because they cared rather than some innate curiosity. The difference was like night and day, and it clung to her in a way she could not describe. It wasn't the same anymore.

Nodding, Estelle murmured, "alright."

Kaminari moved out of her hold, wiping the last traces of his tears away as he gave a wide smile. Estelle relaxed her shoulders at his demeanour, finding it much better than it was previously. Kaminari didn't look like himself when upset. She didn't want to see that again if possible. Gesturing to the couch, Estelle muttered, "sit, I'll tell you."

The class quickly shuffled to their seats as Estelle stood in the middle. Her back was straight, her face hard as she stood in a soldier-like stance. The class flickered their eyes to each other from the evident change, but they knew she was most likely doing it so she could get through the conversation intact.

"I honestly don't know what'll trigger me because stuff like this never happened back home. It's quite frustrating really because I can only guess."

"That's okay; it'll at least give us some idea," Izuku added, nodding in understanding.

"Lazy seemed to be a trigger, which I wasn't expecting but considering how Nyx always talked about it, I shouldn't have been surprised. He would throw it out as a means of punishment whenever he could. There were other, more demeaning words he would call me, but it's unlikely you guys will ever say them anyways."

The class froze at the word punishment, but it didn't seem to register to Estelle as she continued to speak as if receiving punishment was an everyday occurrence. The glazed-over word struck them right in the stomach because they realised it was probably typical for Estelle.

"Death is probably another one."

They all nodded in agreement, the memory of Estelle nearly witnessing their demise ringing in their heads.

"What Mineta did a few months ago...I would guess not to do that either," Estelle slowly worded, her eyes glaring into Mineta's soul as the class followed suit. They may not know precisely what he did, but it was enough to cause an extreme reaction that night, and they all hadn't forgiven him. for it. It was continuously held against him, even by Mr Aizawa, who seemed to glower at the poor boy whenever he was in sight. They couldn't blame the teacher for it, considering the teacher had gotten closer to the girl throughout her time there, and they couldn't deny they hated him a little for it too.

Mineta winced from her words, finally showing an ounce of guilt for what had happened a while back. A low whimper rang out in the room as Bakugo let out a low growl, his sapphire eyes committing murder as he didn't even bother to try to hide the rage the memory brought him. It was only when Estelle took a step back to place a hand on his shoulder that he relaxed, his demeanour softening as he stared at the ethereal woman.

"Yeah...sorry about that," Mineta mumbled, his fingers playing with his shirt as he stared down at the floor. Estelle only nodded in acknowledgement that she heard him, but she couldn't find it within herself to forgive him, considering he continued to try his actions with other unwilling females in the classroom.

"I'll forgive you when you stop thinking with your dick and become a man," Estelle answered, knowing he was unlikely to ever control himself. Mineta seemed to figure that out, quieting as he hunched over his shoulders to make himself seem minor. Knowing it was time to carry on, she muttered, "Blood, I don't like blood or the smell of burning flesh."

The students nodded, noting her tone had become lower with her words, emphasising how much it seemed to bother her. Estelle continued, her eyes thoughtful as she tried to think of anything else the class would need to be aware of. "Doctors, I don't like them either."

Bakugo was the only one who understood why she despised doctors; clearly, the random difference raised some confusion among those in the room. They made no comment, but Estelle could feel the weight on her soul as she was reminded of what she would never get to be, of what she would never have.

A warm, sweaty hand landed on hers, the hand resting on Bakugo's shoulders. He gave her fingers a comforting squeeze, and Estelle's mind whirled in confusion when her heart squeezed alongside it. The ache within her reduced from the action, and she allowed her eyes to trail down to the male staring up at her with such comfort that Estelle wished she could stay within it forever.

Noting the breath catch in her throat, the class let out a slow smile as Bakugo and Estelle got lost in the moment. Grinning slightly, they quickly turned to each other with wiggling eyebrows, a giggle in their throats as the two teens seemed to stare at each other longer than what was deemed normal.

The two were endearing, looking at each other like long-lost lovers. They couldn't deny the evident softness of Bakugo would probably always throw them for a loop, a far cry from how he always was whenever Estelle wasn't around. Still, it was getting awkward now. Are they just going to keep staring at each other?

Iida was the one to let out a loud cough to yank them out of their daze. The two heads snapped forward at the noise, and the grinning class laughed as they witnessed the red on their cheeks. Pulling her hands away from hers, Estelle hid the fact she was dying inside as she fixed her hair. "Uh, so yeah, I think that's the important ones?"

"They're all important," Izuku muttered back as his chuckles died, "but I think we got the gist of it, thank you."

Thankfully, Bakugo's and Estelle's moment eased the tension within the room. The class couldn't help but think about her words and the deep trauma that lay within them.

They could see how these things would trigger her, but it also was painful to hear. They suggested that something in her world was more gruesome than she liked to admit. They wondered if she filtered her memories out when they watched because they had never seen gore or anything related to those things.

Then again, Mr Aizawa told them that when Estelle experienced her memories, it was like she relived them. They understood why if she did purposely avoid them. Nevertheless, they didn't want the day to end on a low note, so standing up with wide grins, they beamed, "Sugertime!"

Laughing at the eager faces around the room, Estelle shook her head fondly as they cheered for Sato to make extra sweets tonight. The blushing male sputtered under the attention, but it was only when Estelle joined in for a moment that he cracked.

"I wouldn't mind some extra!" Estelle cheered slightly.

Bright red, the male nodded. "Alright, but this time only!"

"Score!" Estelle whispered to herself, ignoring the grinning male beside her.

"Too cute," He muttered back, eyes drawn to the lips spread out in a smile.